Dating vs. In a Relationship | What’s the Difference?

Dating vs. In a Relationship | What’s the Difference?

Have you ever wondered about dating vs. in a relationship? I can see how you might be confused, so I’m here to clarify.

While it might not seem like it, there are quite a few differences between just dating and being in a relationship. I think once you read through them, dating vs. in a relationship will be all cleared up for you!

The most fundamental differences between dating and being in a relationship boil down to your intention and the relationship’s trajectory.

In other words, what are your goals with this relationship? This is one of those instances where you and your guy need to be on the same page. If he’s just in it for the sex (think player), but you’re looking for your forever man, Houston, we have a problem.

Let’s see if we can’t clear this one up today!

Dating vs. In a Relationship | Definitions

First, let’s get some terminology down.

What is Dating?

Dating is where you explore a new person. You take time to get to know them before you commit to being exclusive.

Think about dating as a wine flight. You go to a bar, and you order a flight of six of their new wines. You taste each and decide which one you want to go with for the evening.

Dating is the same thing. You line up a few men and date them several times to see which one might be a good fit.

You’re exploring one another to see if the likes and dislikes match. Are your values aligned? Can you have fun together?

Dating is a time of curiosity and hope. It’s marked by uncertainty and lots of first dates. Usually, dating lasts just two to three months before you either slide into a relationship or go your separate ways.

What is a Relationship?

When you move from dating to being in a relationship, you choose to be committed to this one person. The expectation is either marriage or a long-term relationship, depending on your wants.

The exploration continues in a relationship, but it’s on a deeper level. You experience an increased romantic, emotional, and sexual attraction to one another.

In a relationship, you’re exploring the possibility of a life-long commitment.

dating vs. in a relationship

The Stages

Stages of Dating

Dating progresses through natural stages that mark whether you advance toward a relationship or ultimately find someone else.


The first stage of dating is attraction. A man sees a woman from across the room and summons the courage to approach or vice versa.

What attracts a man to a woman?

How to make a man fall in love with you


The second stage of dating is awkwardness. This happens right after one of you approaches the other. You’re unsure if your approach is welcome, and you’re nervous about making a great first impression.

First impressions matter

Once you move past awkwardness, you re-enter attraction on a deeper level.


While you like this guy, you’re unsure how he feels about you. You’re dating other people, and for all you know, he’s really hot for someone else.

You’re now assessing your feelings for this guy and wondering if he could be the one. At this point, you decide whether he’s someone you want to be exclusive with.

Intimate Partnership

If you move past uncertainty and are still together, you’re beginning to form an intimate partnership. This is the prelude to your relationship, but things can still go the other way. Remember that you’re still exploring, and things can still come up to derail the whole thing.

Stages of a Relationship

You can best read about the stages of a relationship here. Although the article combines the stages of dating with the stages of a relationship, it’s still a great way to determine where you are.

Dating vs. In a Relationship | The Differences

Dating is About Finding Out if You Fit Together

When you date someone, and please read this carefully, your main goal is to determine if you fit together. Are you compatible with the big stuff? Of course, this conversation doesn’t happen immediately, and much of this fact-finding mission isn’t about having a conversation.

When you first meet someone new, one of two things usually happens. Either you have great chemistry right away, and everything seems to click, or the date falls flat, and you struggle to maintain a conversation.

This is why I never suggest dinner dates. Dinner dates are better suited for date nights when you and your guy need to spend quality time reconnecting. By then, you have plenty to talk about.

Dating is about having fun and getting to know one another. You do that by exploring the world around you. Act like you’re new to your town and set out to explore it. Go to sporting events, even if it’s high school football. Explore museums and other historical venues. Go to local events. Do things together.

That’s how you really get to know someone. That’s dating.

Dating Has a Lower Level of Commitment

Initially dating someone new, you have no commitment to them. You should be dating more than one man until you are in a committed relationship. It helps you know what you like and dislike about different men.

You aren’t sexually exclusive, although I encourage you to hold off on having sex until a man has proven that he’s worthy of you. Additionally, when dating, there’s no commitment to be there for the complicated stuff. You can be, of course, but there’s no obligation.

dating vs. in a relationship

Dating vs. In a Relationship | When Can You Be Yourself?

Please don’t be angry with me for what I’m about to say. I mean it most kindly. When people are dating, they’re essentially marketing the best version of themselves. You’re constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.

Once you’re in a relationship, you’re comfortable being yourself. You’ve seen one another’s flaws, and you’re okay with them.

Relationships Require Compromise

When you’re dating, it’s easier to be a little selfish. If you don’t want to go out with him on Friday, you can call or text and make an excuse without feeling too guilty. You don’t have a commitment, so if you don’t want to go out, don’t sweat it.

But it would help if you learned how to compromise in a relationship. He went to your best friend’s baby shower, even though he still has no idea why men were invited, and now, it’s your turn to go to his buddy’s house to hang out for the evening.

And the compromise goes further than that because a relationship is all about compromise. Neither of you can expect to have things your way all the time. It’s selfish and unrealistic.

Relationships are Exclusive

When you’re considering dating vs. in a relationship, probably the easiest thing to do is define a point in time where things change from one to the other. That point is when you decide to be exclusive with one another, and no, that isn’t after your first date.

Once you’ve dated a guy for a while and the relationship feels good, the two of you can decide to become exclusive. You’ve been together and determined that you share values and goals for your future. You know he’s worthy of you, and he’s sure you’re the confident woman he thought you were when he first saw you.

The decisions you make now are for the two of you. Where will you live? Who pays the electric bill? Which one of you does the cooking?

Dating vs. In a Relationship | Introductions

When you’re in a relationship, you introduce one another as boyfriend or girlfriend, but when you’re just dating, you might introduce one another as friends or someone you’re dating.

Boyfriend or girlfriend status is reserved for that commitment stage of the relationship. That’s why it can feel uncomfortable to introduce a guy that way for the first time. It’s because you’re taking a giant leap into relationship territory.

The Communication is on a Different Level

When you’re in a relationship, you’re more likely to discuss the minute details of life, whereas when you’re dating, you stick to surface material most of the time.

As you draw closer to making a mutually exclusive commitment, conversations will deepen, but when you’re dating, it’s more about where to go the next time you go out or whether you enjoyed the movie you just saw.

Dating vs. In a Relationship | The Expectations are Different

You expect less of them when dating someone, or you should anyway. I see this causing many problems early in relationships.

Often, the woman thinks they’re more committed than they are, and she becomes frustrated when he doesn’t meet her expectations. Meanwhile, he doesn’t expect a lot yet and doesn’t feel he has any need to meet your expectations.

In a relationship, you expect your partner to be more present, and, depending on your living situation, you may also expect him to pitch in more.

Their Priority in Your Life is Greater in a Relationship

When dating someone, they are less of a priority in your life. Time with your friends and family may come before time with someone you’re just dating.

In a relationship, however, you prioritize them more. If you choose between going to a social event hosted by his work or doing an Outlander binge with your besties, you should prioritize the work event. He’s your priority now.

Dating vs. In a Relationship | Your Social Lives

Generally, unless you meet through mutual friends, you won’t introduce someone you’re just dating to your social network. Men do this to avoid hearing all the comments from their friends. The uncertainty of your future isn’t worth it.

If his friends love you, they’ll get after him if he doesn’t choose you, and if they don’t, they’ll be your demise before he’s ready to give up.

dating vs. in a relationship

The “L” Word

When dating, you shouldn’t expect to hear him say he loves you and vice versa. You’re not there yet. You’re exploring one another, and men don’t usually fall in love that quickly anyway.

Once you enter a committed relationship, the “L” word is more likely to come out, although maybe not immediately.

Dating vs. In a Relationship | You’re an “Us” in a Relationship

When dating, you don’t think of you and your guy as “us” or “we.” If your best friend invites you to her wedding, she invites you and a guest.

When you’re in a relationship, you’re part of a “we.” You’re a unit, and people think of you as one, not two individual people. That wedding invitation will have both of your names.

Walking Away is Easier When You’re Dating

Many women contact me after a man they’ve been dating for just a few weeks suddenly exits their lives. While that’s a crappy way to end things with someone, that’s sometimes how men do it.

These women are desperate to get the guy back, but there is little hope for one reason. You weren’t together long enough to build the intimacy you have in a relationship.

It’s harder to walk away from a relationship with feelings of love and commitment, but when you’re dating, it’s easier to stop seeing someone.

Women often mistake dating with being in a relationship, which makes the exit of these guys so painful.

Dating vs. In a Relationship | Action versus Label

Dating is an action. You are dating someone to learn more about them. A relationship is a label of what you have when you become committed to one another.

You’ll always date one another, but the differences above determine your overall commitment.

Why you should never stop dating your husband

Dating Vs. In a Relationship | The Final Word

Hopefully, you’ve seen the importance of understanding dating vs. in a relationship. Too often, we find someone we have great chemistry with and immediately believe we’re in a relationship with them, but that isn’t the case.

Relationships require a dedicated effort and a level of caring that isn’t present when you first date someone new.

I encourage you to slow down when you’re dating and to date more than one guy at a time. Once you’re sure things are going well and he’s proven worthy, you can move to something more committed and long-term.

Meanwhile, have fun. Date different types of men and learn what you like and dislike. Put these men to the test and allow one to rise to the top naturally.

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

Good Qualities in a Man | What You Should Look For

Good Qualities in a Man | What You Should Look For

It’s cliché that good qualities in a man include that he’s tall, dark, and handsome; an incredible physique doesn’t hurt either!

Any man who doesn’t fit that criteria can take a hike, right?


In a recent survey by BestLifeOnline.com and another by Princeton, New Jersey’s opinion research corporation, many women say they value personality over physical traits. Still, many women forget about the basics and only see what they want to see.

In other words, you plunk those rose-colored glasses squarely on the bridge of your cute nose and fail to see the flaws if he’s in the tall, dark, and handsome category.

Another thing that clouds your opinion of a man is having sex with him too soon. You don’t give yourself a chance to see his flaws before raw heat and chemistry take over.

Today, I hope to encourage you to look for good qualities in a man that go beyond his looks and the immediate chemistry you may feel.

Good Qualities in a Man | He Has a Sense of Humor

I’m not tall, dark, or handsome, but my sense of humor has gotten me pretty far regarding women. A great sense of humor trumps much other stuff because being able to laugh at the world sometimes gets you through.

A man who can make you laugh is a great catch! It means he isn’t taking life too seriously, at least not always. He can bring joy and a smile to your life when you need it most!

He Respects You

Nothing good comes from dating a misogynist or a narcissist. That type of person will never respect you, and respect is necessary for forming a good relationship. When it comes to good qualities in a man, you want one who respects you for who you are and treats you like a queen.

While respect takes time to earn, it shouldn’t take too long, and you should be able to respect him quickly, too, until he gives you a reason not to anyway.

Good Qualities in a Man | He is Faithful

Of course, the studies mentioned above found faithfulness to be one of the good qualities in a man. Your relationship is solid when you have trust, which comes from knowing your guy is faithful.

Nothing good happens in a relationship when there is no trust, and if you know your guy is faithful to you, you won’t become jealous when he wants to go golfing with the guys or out for a beer and to watch football.

good qualities in a man

He’s Emotionally Available

This is a big one. Some men want to be in a great relationship, but something is holding them back. It may be a past hurt from an old relationship, or it could be something from childhood.

In either instance, the man isn’t emotionally available, and as much as you like him, he will never be there for you. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to be; he can’t.

Unfortunately, this one trips up many women because you need to nurture a guy like this and feel sorry for him. Don’t. It won’t change who he is and will only bring you heartbreak.

Good Qualities in a Man | He’s a Hard Worker

This one is hard to beat when searching for good qualities in a man. Like the emotionally unavailable woman, the slacker can sometimes disguise himself for a while.

Most men have an inborn need to support their loved ones financially and emotionally. I know you may not need him to help you financially, but the world hasn’t caught up yet with the strong women today.

A man who doesn’t have this innate need to work hard for what he wants in life and to be able to support you is a man you need to let go of.

There are twelve qualities all great men have, and a few of them fall into the hard worker category.

You Share the Same Values

It might not seem important when you’re first dating, but one of the great qualities in a man is that he shares your values.

Ultimately, this will be a big deal, and you don’t need to share all your values, but you should share the important ones. Which are important? That’s up to you. You might be very political, and someone from the opposite side of the political aisle could be a problem.

Only you know which ones are dealbreakers for you, but make sure you don’t skip this one.

Good Qualities in a Man | He Has His Own Style

Someone who isn’t afraid to buck trends is always a great catch. It means he places less value on people’s thoughts and more on being himself. This is true of women, too, so don’t be afraid to show off your style.

Showing the world who you are, regardless of what others might think, signals high confidence, and that’s what you’re looking for!

good qualities in a man

He’s Dependable

Dependability is one of those good qualities in a man. Someone where he says he’ll be when he says he’ll be there gives you a sense of peace. It helps build that respect and trust that are so important.

If you’re sick, he’s there doing laundry and bringing you a ginger ale. If your car breaks down, he’s not leaving the job of getting you safely home to some scrubby tow truck driver. He’s there to make sure all is well.

Good Qualities in a Man | He Has Great Communication Skills

Communication is a two-way street. Not only do you need to be able to communicate verbally, but you also need to be able to listen.

While it’s cliché to tilt your head at the notion of a man who listens, they aren’t as rare as you might think. When a man is genuinely interested in you, he will want to listen. What you have to say is important to him, if it’s not the latest on your best friend’s breakup, that is. Save that stuff for your girlfriends.

A man with good communication skills also knows how to say the right things, fight fairly, and get what he wants out of life without blowing his top.

He’s a Gentleman

Good qualities in a man include being a gentleman. The powerful woman of today sometimes wants to stifle the gentlemanly quality of a man, but I beg you not to. I know you don’t need a man to open the door for you or hold your chair while you sit, but a great man was raised to do so by his mother.

Being an independent and strong woman doesn’t mean you stop letting a man be the gentleman he was raised to be. Those things are a show of respect, not a sign of your weakness. These things show he cares. Men show their love rather than stating it, so him doing these things is a sign that he cares.

Good Qualities in a Man | He Makes You a Priority

You can’t always be one another’s priority, but a great man makes you a priority when it matters. When you’re together, he puts down his cell phone and listens. He takes the time to help you with something important and supports you and your choices, whatever they might be.

In great relationships, this is a give-and-take thing. You’ll sometimes need his support and attention and vice versa. Great relationships aren’t about taking turns or tallying who was there for whom last. It’s about being there when needed, regardless of who’s turn.

He’s a Positive Person

Whether it’s your boyfriend or best friend, the people surrounding you should be positive. Negativity breeds and does nothing good.

Your guy should be a positive person, at least most of the time. We all fall into a slump from time to time, but one of the good qualities in a man is that he can pull himself out of that slump after licking his wounds and return to that positive nature.

Good Qualities in a Man | He Has an Attitude of Gratitude

Positive people are, by nature, grateful people. They focus more on what they have than what they don’t have.

Your guy should be grateful for you and everything he has; the same is true of you. Gratitude doesn’t need to be about something huge, either. You can be grateful for toilet paper – weren’t we all during COVID anyway? Be grateful for how his smile lights you up.

Gratitude journals aren’t just for women. I keep one, and I encourage you to do so as well. As a couple, you can also have a gratitude journal.

He Protects You

A man naturally wants to protect his loved ones. He wants you to feel safe, emotionally and physically. While you might not need a hero, men need to be your hero. This thing inside all great men is called the hero instinct, and it’s the real deal.

I’m repeating myself a lot, but I’ll repeat it. I know you’re a strong, independent woman, but there are things men were raised to do and things that are inside them that they know they should do. Being your hero is one. The great thing about allowing him to be your hero is that it will increase his love for you. That, my friend, is a win-win.

Good Qualities in a Man | The People You Care About are Important to Him

Your friends and family should be as important to your guy as they are to you. If the guy you’re dating can get along with the people most important to you, you’ve got a winner.

Bringing someone new into the fold can upset the balance, but if he can hang in there and hold his own among your family, who can be a real challenge sometimes, consider yourself a fortunate woman!

Finding Your Mr. Right

It’s so easy to look beyond the good qualities in a man to the chemistry and heat of the early phase of a relationship. But, it’s these qualities, not the heat, that will provide you with a strong basis for a good relationship.

When you’re looking for your Mr. Right, take your time. It isn’t a race. Get to know him slowly and hold off having sex until you know he’s the one. A good man will respect your boundaries and will wait patiently.  

What Attracts a Man to a Woman?

What attracts a man to a woman? It’s a pretty basic question, right? And it’s a very important question as well!

The better question, however, is do you know the answer?

If you did know it, oh boy would your dating life suddenly get a lot easier! But, most women aren’t taught these things growing up, so I’m afraid you probably don’t know the answer.

Until now.

Let me help you crawl into the minds of me and my friends, a bunch of successful good guys who regularly hang out together. A few of my friends are shy and a few are extroverted. We’re all looking for the woman of our dreams. What will attract us to you?

You Stand Above the Crowd

I’m not talking about how tall you are, but rather how authentic you are. This is very nearly your most important job when you go out on the hunt for a guy.

How do you stand out? First, be yourself and wear your confidence like a badge of honor. Your body language is the first signal to every man in the room that you either have or lack confidence. Stand tall with your shoulders straight, not slumped. Make eye contact with people instead of hiding behind sunglasses or hair.

Next, be yourself. Just because all your friends are wearing skinny jeans with a blouse and four-inch heels doesn’t mean you must do the same. If you’re more comfortable in a skirt and flats, go for it. Heck, wear your tie dye skirt and Birkenstocks if you want. If that’s who you are, tell the world!

Other ways to stand out include:

  • Wear a bright scarf or hat
  • Dance in place alone for a second or two
  • Put five umbrellas in your drink and one in your hair
  • Order a cocktail served uniquely

These things all provide a guy with an opportunity to strike up a conversation. This is important for the shy guys!

Show You’re Having a Great Time

A woman who is laughing and having a great time is a guy magnet. Don’t fake it, but show that you’re enjoying yourself. People are attracted to others who look like they’re having fun!

When you show you’re having fun, it tells others that you have a positive, upbeat personality and this is attractive to men. If you’re sitting there, sulking or hiding behind your hair, guys aren’t interested. Any guy you attract will be the wrong guy – a player or a loser.

What Attracts a Man to a Woman? Body Language!

Your body language tells every man in the room everything he needs to know about you before he decides to approach. Good posture indicates confidence. Making eye contact with others in the room says you’re a confident woman. Smiling shows that positive personality.

These women don’t get approached by players and losers because they know you’re out of their league, but confident men are interested. If you see a guy who interests you, make eye contact and smile, then look away. Be sure to look back a few seconds later, but don’t be a creeper. Look away again.

When you manage to pass by this guy, brush up against him, by accident. Just a subtle touch will be enough to signal to him that he can approach.

what attracts a man to a woman

Manage Your Group

While it’s nice to huddle together and whisper, it doesn’t give any men the opportunity to approach. They don’t know where they would be able to join you.

Instead, leave some space between you, and if your friends run off to the bathroom, don’t take that opportunity to get on your phone. Make sure there’s space beside you for a man to approach. He’s been waiting for this moment for a while and it’s here. Don’t shut him out!

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

This might be difficult for you if you’re introverted or a little low on dating confidence. Many of my books can help you with the confidence part. I encourage you not to try too hard to change the introvert part. It’s who you are.

Okay, that said, here’s how this works.

Now I understand this might be tough if you are introverted, shy, or lack confidence. The confidence I can fix. I’m a life coach and that’s what my books are all about if I may add.

If you walk by a guy eating sushi or something rare say, “You know, a skilled veterinarian could bring that back to life!” Yes, its’ silly but it’s funny and he’ll love it.

If you struggle with being funny, watch some comedians and their deliveries. Pick up some tips and be ready the next time you’re out.

These same canned lines, when delivered by men, crash and burn but when a woman delivers them, they’re unexpected and men love it!

What Attracts a Man to a Woman? She Approaches Him

Few women approach men, and that’s sad because it’s a great move on your part! Much like delivering a one-liner, it’s unexpected and that makes it great.

While a man is sometimes afraid of being rejected if he approaches, often for a good reason, the odds of a woman being rejected are pretty slim. Men don’t often reject women. They’re more ego-driven and there’s nothing better to boost a guys ego than a woman approaching him!

You don’t need a one-liner. Just say “Hi” or “Can I buy you a drink?” A fun line is, “I’m considering you as my next boyfriend.” Smile and laugh as you deliver your message, just like comedians do. He’ll love it. Even if he’s got a woman in his life, he’ll at least respond favorably.

Don’t Bar Hop

You’ve done some or all of the things above and then you and your friends up and leave. What the heck? Some man had just mustered up enough courage to approach and you vanished.

If you want to meet a great guy, stay at the same place until you’re ready to go home. If you want to check out another bar, go next weekend. Some men need time to prepare themselves to approach, especially shy guys.

I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. A friend of mine was ready to approach a woman he’d become attracted to and BAM! She and her friends pay the check and leave.

what attracts a man to a woman

What Attracts a Man to a Woman? A Great Story

Once you’ve attracted a great guy, it’s time to work on keeping him around. This begins with your story. What is your story?

It’s the culmination of your life experiences. It’s what makes you the unique individual you are today. This doesn’t mean you tell a guy your entire life story! You don’t, at least not immediately. Let him uncover it, bit by bit.

Your job is to cultivate that story. Think about your life and the experiences you’ve had so far. Did you travel to Europe as a kid or invent something cool in science class? Do you volunteer somewhere or do you have a unique hobby?

Any hobby is probably fodder for an interesting story. Men are often mystified by how you make things. Sometimes your hobby reminds him of his mom or another treasured female in his life. This is a bonus!

Your story also includes anything you’re passionate about. People’s faces light up when they talk about something they’re passionate about. It’s like a magnet for the person they’re talking to. They immediately become excited about the topic too.

If you fear your story isn’t so great right now, it’s time to get out there and start writing. Find a hobby. Become passionate about something. Go on an adventure. Travel, even if it’s just across the state line. Experience life and then prepare to share those experiences with men who are interested in you.

How the Male System Works

What attracts a man to a woman?

You’ve done your part, now it’s time for him to do his. But what do most guys do?

First, they look for the right opportunity to make a move. Often, the time is when their friend goes to the restroom. He doesn’t want to get shot down in front of his friends, so he waits until they’re away.

Alternatively, he might wait for you to be alone or at least for a spot to open up next to you. He doesn’t want to feel awkward, so if there’s an empty space, he’s more comfortable.

Remember, guys are just as clumsy as you think you are and more. They are just as intimidated by the whole singles scene as you are. Their confidence might be lacking, like yours.

The male system sucks, but it’s all they have so please, please, make it easy on them by understanding the system. Once you do, you’ll attract lots of great men!

Do you have your Night Moves down? Are you ready to go out and get a guy to fall for you, using science and not trickery? If so, this is the book for you! I've done the research, and you get to benefit. Here are the steps you can take, whether you're headed out on a first date or going out with your friends to look for men. The science behind attraction is just a few clicks away!

Here are just a couple of things you'll learn inside this best-seller:

  • Red lipstick is magical when it comes to attraction...learn why inside
  • Looking at a guy, looking away, and then looking back with the right timing sends a clear signal...but what signal? Learn inside the book
  • You can get a guy to feel like he's falling for you with a few subtle movements. Learn what they are in this book!

Read more about this book or click one of the buttons below to buy it now.

The Ideal Alpha Female Relationships with Men

The Ideal Alpha Female Relationships with Men

Successful alpha female relationships can feel elusive, especially if you’ve dated for any length of time.

You’re strong. You know what you want and how to get it. You’re confident, outspoken and people gravitate to you because they want to be on the same ride you’re on. Your power and energy are contagious.

These very traits that make friends and coworkers want to be near you are the same ones that make it difficult for you to find a man who appreciates you for who you are, without trying to change you.

Chances are, you’ve tried dating alpha men because they’re most like you. They’re powerful, confident, outspoken and strong. Likes attract likes, right? Yes, but that doesn’t always indicate that that type of relationship will work out best.

There are essentially two types of men that will work best for alpha female relationships. The first, of course, is an alpha male. I know, I just said that might not work, but there are instances when it can. The other type of man who’s truly perfect for the alpha woman is the beta man.

Often misunderstood, beta men seek alpha female relationships because they want a take-charge type of woman to love. Below are some dating tips that will help you find the right guy who will adore you for who you are.

Alpha Female Relationships | Slow Down

You go one-hundred miles per hour all day and well into the evening, but when you’re out looking for a guy, slow down. Take off that leadership hat and let your hair down, maybe literally.

Slow and take the edge off your speech. You’re now out to have fun, not be in control, so take a kinder, gentler approach. An alpha man will be attracted to an alpha woman if she shows her feminine side and a kinder, gentler you will be more feminine.

Don’t make an attempt to look low confidence, meaning continue making eye contact and walking confidently, but instead of striding with purpose, slow down and glide. Save your strut for the office.

And finally, if an alpha man offers to buy you a drink, accept it gratefully and show your appreciation, “Thank you. It was so kind of you.” This allows more of your feminine energy to shine through and you top it off with a dose of manners. He’s definitely interested.

Challenge Him

 Challenge is important in alpha female relationships – well, all relationships actually. Men need to feel challenged in a relationship to keep from becoming bored, therefore, it’s important for him to feel challenged by you. But what does that mean?

An alpha man doesn’t value something that comes too easily. He’s accustomed to working for what he has. When he calls for a date that day or even the next day, don’t drop your plans to go with him.

Instead, let him know that he’ll need to work harder to get on your calendar, “Gee, Gregg. I’d love to go to dinner with you, but we’ll have to make it Tuesday.” He won’t be put off. He’ll feel challenged! If he’s truly interested in you, he’ll figure out how to become important enough to get on your calendar.

If he text you but you’re busy and can’t really get into a conversation, give him a time when you can talk to him.

Him: Hi Beautiful. I hope your day was productive!

You: Hey Handsome! So far, so good, but I have more dragons to slay. Let’s talk later – say 8:00?

Him: Sounds great! Talk then.

This tells him you want to talk to him and he now knows when. It takes the anxiety out of the situation for both of you and lets him know when to expect to talk to you.

Challenge is also required for the beta man, whose main goal is to serve you and make sure you’re happy. You can challenge him in the same way you’d challenge an alpha. Don’t always be readily available. Be kind but firm with a beta.

Are You an Alpha Female Who Can't Find a Happy Relationship?

For alpha women, finding a relationship that isn’t challenging or frustrating can be a real problem. You’re drawn to alpha men, but science tells us that alpha men don’t want to marry alpha women, they only want to date them. Then there’s the beta man, often misunderstood by both alpha men and women, but often a great choice for the alpha woman. Learn more about how you can develop a happy relationship with either type of man by checking out The Alpha Female: Who is She? Who Should She Date? How do You Become One?

alpha female relationships

Let Him Be Your Protector

All men, alpha, beta or otherwise, have a need to be your protector. I know you can do this for yourself, but this hero instinct is something you want to cultivate. Men were raised to be your hero and if you don’t allow them to, they feel as if they aren’t doing their job.

Men basically need three things in a relationship:

  • To live a meaningful life and feel appreciated for their efforts
  • To provide for those who are important to them
  • To be respected by those around them

I know you can provide for yourself, and maybe even him, but if you’re with an alpha, don’t make a big deal about this. A beta will care less if you make more money than he does, but an alpha might feel emasculated if you bring it up a lot. Don’t let who earns more money determine the power dynamic in your relationship.

Alpha Female Relationships: Act Like the Prize You Are

When women make bad dating choices, it’s often for one of two reasons. Either they feel desperate to find a guy for some reason, like all their friends have boyfriends and they don’t, or they don’t understand that they have the power to be the choose, and not feel grateful to be chosen.

This puts you in a negative position for relationships. Instead, recognize that you are the prize. When you feel grateful to be chosen or desperate and find a guy, your instinct might be to be over-enthusiastic about the relationship.

You stop going out with your girlfriends, stop pursuing your hobbies and spend too much time doting on him. No guy, whether he’s an alpha, beta or omega, wants this from you. This behavior makes a man feel smothered and you aren’t challenging to him. He will question your value in his life.

Instead, come into a relationship with strong dating confidence. If you don’t feel you have strong dating confidence now, there are many options you can pursue here.

I want to change my life!

Meanwhile, allow a guy to chase you. Yes, even though you’re an alpha woman, let a guy pursue you. Inspire his hero instinct and encourage his masculine side by remaining feminine. Never give up your hobbies for a man and continue to enjoy girls’ night with your friends.

Remember, You Are Not Your Title

Your identity isn’t the title of the job you hold. It’s who you are from the inside out. It’s your kindness and generosity. It’s your desire to help others and your ability to be tough and stern one minute and a kind mentor the next.

Commit to or stay committed to your health and well-being. Get to know yourself and connect with that feminine woman who’s lurking inside. This makes you the feminine counterpart an alpha man desires.

When it comes to a beta man, he needs your strength and direction, but he also wants to see your feminine side and he needs you to know who you are from the inside out. Your strength is what attracted him to you, but some of that strength is your inner strength.

alpha female relationships

Alpha Female Relationships: Communication is Key

Regardless of what type of man you date, communication is everything. With the beta, you will have many conversations around control – who is in control of what. He wants you to take control, probably more than you know. Talking through it helps you both realize your roles in the relationship. Just because he’s a beta doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings, ambitions, and thoughts about your relationship.

Communication in any relationship is one of the most important things and a lack of communication is what ends many relationships. Regardless of whether your guy is an alpha or a beta, opening up the lines of communication may be the strongest asst in your alpha female relationships.

It allows you each to voice your wants, needs and desires. It allows you to feel safe exposing your vulnerabilities, something a beta will do much faster than an alpha. Without communication, any relationship will eventually wither and die.

And Finally, You’re a Team

Whether alpha female relationships are with beta men or alpha men, you’re a team. Learn how to work together and know when your teammate needs you to rally and be a little more supportive than usual.

Situations like job loss or loss of income, health issues, the loss of a loved one and similar events are difficult for men. Most men require time to retreat, lick their wounds and find a solution. As natural problem solvers, this is key for him. While you’re there to support him, you’re not overbearing or over-nurturing.

Let him know he has your support and allow him time to deal with the emotions of what happened. If your relationship is strong and you’ve established great communication, he will come to you when he’s ready.

Why Taking a Relationship Break is the Right Course of Action

Why Taking a Relationship Break is the Right Course of Action

I know what you’re thinking. Taking a relationship break means losing him for good. Out of sight out of mind. I’m better off asking him to seek counseling and making it clear I’ll try harder.


It’s better to encourage the breakup he’s already considering. Yes, you read that right. Encourage the breakup!

What? How? Why?

If you’re considering taking a relationship break, you already know it’s coming.

The more you hang on, the worse things will be. The relationship is in a downward spiral and taking a break is just what the doctor ordered!

While You’re Taking a Relationship Break, His Anger Subsides

Men consider breaking up when they hold so much anger and contempt that they just can’t take it any longer. He’s in no position to even think about counseling right now. He just wants out.

Fine. Let him out!

While this scares the heck out of you, it’s the best thing you can do to save your relationship. He needs time to move past these negative feelings toward you and your relationship.

Resist the urge to beg him back or use angry texts, tears or other methods you think will work. They won’t. They’ll serve to confirm what he’s already thinking. He needs to get out of this relationship and now!

While you’re taking a relationship break, there are things you can do to help him feel better about you and your relationship. But first, he needs time to allow his negative feelings to subside.

Once His Anger Subsides, He Misses You

If your relationship went on for any length of time past a few months, you have positive memories together. Once his anger and negative feelings subside, he recalls those good times. This is especially true if his singles life isn’t going as well as he’d hoped it would. It rarely does.

You can help him recall those good memories by employing a couple of great tools: the letter and slip in/slip out. You can learn more about these in my book, Ex Back: The Five Step Process to Get Him Back.

If you're ready to work toward getting your ex back, you need to read How to Get Your Ex Back Fast. This book has been around for a few years and it's helped thousands of women get their ex back. You'll learn the importance of getting him back indirectly and you'll learn what that means. This book is full of advice to help you get him back fast. To buy the book, click on one of the buttons below. To learn more about it, click here.

taking a relationship break

As You’re Taking a Relationship Break, He Can Fix His Stuff

You probably aren’t aware of how negative life events impact men, but they do. The problem is that many men aren’t emotionally equipped to manage the emotions from dealing with those events.

You don’t see how not getting that promotion is such a big deal, but to him, it’s huge. While you’re happy he’s finally completing his divorce, it’s done a number on his emotions and he’s struggling.

Your natural instinct to nurture him is making things worse, even though that isn’t your intention. When men experience something this emotional, they need time to lick their wounds. Alone. While most women seek out another person to talk to in times like this, men retreat into themselves.

He needs this time to solve the problem he’s facing. He needs to navigate the emotions, deal with the lawyers or custody issues or find a new job. While women can multi-task, men cannot.

By taking a relationship break, you provide the opportunity for him to deal with his stuff. Chances are, he’ll come back once he has everything solved.

You Have Time to Rebuild Your Confidence

When a relationship is in a downward spiral, confidence slides right down with it. While you’re taking a relationship break, you can rebuild your confidence. Not only is this great for you, but it will entice him back as well.

Instead of worrying about how you’ll survive without him, take this time to become that strong, independent woman I know you can be!

That’s probably the woman he fell in love with and now, you’re bringing her back! Even if he doesn’t act like he knows what you’re up to, trust me, he does. He’s asking friends and he’s sneaking a peek whenever he can.

It you’d like help rebuilding your confidence, you can take this confidence course!

taking a relationship break

You Can Grow and Change for the Better

There’s no better time to improve yourself than while you’re single and yes, while you’re taking a relationship break, you’re single.

Use this time to find yourself again. What hobbies do you enjoy? What friendships have fallen away since your relationship with him began?

What kind of eggs do you like? (Movie reference: Runaway Bride! Watch it and learn how important that is!)

Too often, people change themselves to become who they think their partner wants them to be. In the process, they lose sight of who they really are. It’s a shame really, because your guy fell for the person you were before you started changing.

Find her again! You may think that spending time making candles is time you should be spending with him, but let him do his own thing. Don’t worry about enjoying a girls’ night with your friends. Encourage him to hang with his buddies.

While You’re Taking a Relationship Break, You Can Assess the Relationship

While the two of you are taking a relationship break, assess the relationship. What was good? What wasn’t? What role did you play in the need to take a break? What was his role?

When the two of you get back together, issues from the past need to be addressed. If you were too clingy, that’s something to work on. If he did things you don’t like, he needs to change those.

Getting back together after taking a relationship break means starting a new relationship. It isn’t a continuation of the old relationship, which was broken beyond repair. That’s why these steps are so important!

For your new relationship to be successful and fulfilling, changes are required. If the two of you get back together without any changes, you’ll reach the same bitter outcome. Perhaps the two of you have broken up and reconciled more than once already.

It’s time to break the pattern and the only way to do that is to take an honest look at the relationship.

As you build your confidence and rejoin your singles life, you’ll find the strength to do this.

You Can Fix Your Part in the Relationship

An honest assessment of your relationship results in some areas of improvement you need to explore.

Now that you see what your role was, you can fix it. This comes easily as you rebuild your confidence, since many of the things that happened probably resulted from low confidence to begin with.

When You’re Taking a Relationship Break, You Win, Regardless

It’s difficult to imagine right now, but it’s possible that you’ll decide you don’t want your guy back. As your confidence grows and you explore who you are and what you enjoy, you might find that he isn’t it.

It happens more often than you think because you’re thinking with a clear head. Your confidence enables you to remove your rose colored glasses and see him for who he is. He might not be the right guy for you any longer.

That’s okay! Because you’ve rebuild your confidence, you’re a great guy magnet! Take that confidence for a spin with a good friend and you’ll be surprised!

On the other hand, your relationship may be worth saving! You may decide that you still want him back and he’s overcome his negative feelings. He’s missing you and responding to your slip in/slip out texts positively.

What if You Take Him Back?

If your ex comes back and you’ve made the positive changes above, your new relationship will be off to a great start! There may still be a bit of a bumpy road, but you made changes that attracted him back and hopefully he did too.

This is a game-changer. Instead of allowing the relationship to go up in flames, you put out the fire with confidence, self-care, and looking inward.

What if You Move On?

Should you decide he’s not the guy for you, you’re in a great position to find someone new. The trick is to maintain your confidence, your independence, your hobbies, and your friends. When you meet a new guy, don’t give up Yoga class or pottery to spend more time with him. Keep doing what you did before you met.

Jealousy and a fear of losing a guy come from low confidence, but if you stick to your singles life activities, you’ll maintain a high level of confidence.

No More Worrying about Taking a Relationship Break!

By now, you realize that taking a relationship break is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future relationship, whether it’s with this guy or another.

The only way you lose him for good is if you decide he’s no longer worthy of a great woman like you!

Encourage the breakup. Let him go try his singles life. Meanwhile, work on yourself and allow him time to overcome his negative feelings. Give him time to miss you and want you back.

If you follow the advice above, everything you do will be the opposite of what he expects. This alone will pique his interest, and that’s always a good thing!

Woman Brain vs Man Brain as They Apply to Relationships

Woman Brain vs Man Brain as They Apply to Relationships

If you think I am going to give you some expanded Stanford study on woman brain vs man brain you would be wrong.

This is a dumbed down version of the REAL differences in our two brains when it comes to dating and relationships, and it comes from a man-brained dating coach. These conclusions aren’t backed up by any science, just personal experience.

Men’s Brains are Small, Think Squirrel or Small Rodent

The woman brain vs the man brain is large and complex, and yet, women treat men as if they have the same large and complex brain as your girlfriends have. That, my friend, is where you go wrong.

Men don’t pick up on subtle cues. They communicate differently, love differently and have out-of-control egos. There’s a great video on YouTube by Mark Gungor, who describes the male brain as containing a bunch of boxes, one of which is an empty box. No box can comingle with another box in the male brain.

Woman Brain vs Man Brain and Flirting

Women come to me saying, “Gregg, I flirt and flirt with men and they ignore me! What am I doing wrong?”

You aren’t doing anything wrong. Men aren’t ignoring you; their brains are too small to realize what’s happening, especially if they’re drinking beer and downing chicken wings while watching sports on TV. Food is one box and cannot be combined with an outside influence like you flirting with them.

The solution, short of grabbing his ass and screaming, “HEY! I like you!” is to double your efforts so he gets the message. Look at him and smile, then look away. Then, a few moments later, look his way again and smile, then look away. Next, walk by him on your way to the restroom or bar and gently brush against him. Do it again a little while later.

In this instance, the woman brain vs the man brain is definitely in play. Use this double-down effort to get his attention and he’ll be more likely to pick up on your cues.

woman brain vs man brain


When it comes to woman brain vs man brain, communication is one of the biggest discrepancies. Men text with two to three sentences at the most, more likely it’s two to three words.

Women, however, text paragraphs. A man won’t read these texts because he doesn’t have the patience and he’s not interested in the emotional rant that is probably contained in that paragraph.

Instead, text a man like he texts his friends. Lose all the emotion and extra stuff and get to the point. If you want to meet him for lunch, text him something like 2:00 lunch? That’s all he needs. Don’t give him fifteen choices for where to go. Just get to the point.

Men also communicate more through actions than words. Think about two little boys playing in a sandbox. They aren’t talking. They’re pushing their cars and trucks into the others and saying things like “BAM!” and “Gotcha!” They grunt and throw sand at each other, then try to steal their trucks.

When little girls play, they use tons of language. They use their voices to mimic the voices of their Barbies or baby dolls. They use language to build and maintain relationships.

This is not a dynamic that changes as boys and girls get older, which is why it’s so important for you to understand.

Woman Brain vs Man Brain and Love

This is another area in which there is a huge divide in the quest to understand woman brain vs man brain. Some of the discrepancy goes back to the communication issue you just read. A woman uses words to communicate love while a man uses actions.

So many times, women come to me upset and ask why their guy isn’t telling them that he loves them. They’re upset and think their guy doesn’t really love them. But, when I dig into the story, I find out that the man is showing her how much he loves her through his actions.

Men fix things and solve your problems, all in an attempt to show you how much he loves you. They take out the trash, take your car for an oil change and buy you the desk you need to make your work at home go more smoothly.

If you look at the actions of a man, you will see dozens of signs that he loves you, but if you’re waiting for the words, you might be waiting a while. He’ll say them, but not as often as you’d like to hear them.

woman brain vs man brain


For some men, ego plays a large role, so if you learn how to deal with the male ego, you’ll be all set. It doesn’t take much to do this either, in fact, some of it boils down to common courtesy. When he does things for you, be sure to appreciate his effort. Even the smallest things to you, like taking out the trash or doing the dishes after dinner deserve a compliment now and then.

If you really want to stroke his ego, be sure to tell him how much you appreciate him in the bedroom. Most good men want to please you in bed, so let him know he’s hitting the mark, so to speak, even if his performance wasn’t quite up to par.

Woman Brain vs Man Brain and Multi-Tasking

In the world of woman brain vs man brain, multitasking is a big deal. Women can cook dinner, feed a toddler, help an older child with homework and fold laundry all at the same time.

Men aren’t capable of this. Not even close. A man generally can’t do two things at once, and this includes listening to you and driving, listening to you and watching television or really…any two things at once.

It’s evolutionary and don’t get upset with me for saying so. Cavewoman Cathy and Caveman Carl each had their role to play. Cavewoman Cathy was responsible for keeping the cave straightened, cooking the food Caveman Carl killed and taking care of the kids. Caveman Carl had two jobs – procure food for the family, and possibly grow it, and protect his family.

Even though evolution now has woman holding as many, if not more high-power jobs than men, the power of a woman’s ability to multitask still exists and men still can’t do it.

Men Exaggerate Profusely

Men exaggerate, a lot. This goes back to the paragraphs above on ego. While everyone exaggerates to some extent, a man will exaggerate many things at the beginning of a relationship. He’ll suggest he earns more than he does and that he’s a better tennis player.

He’ll say there are few skeletons in his closet when the truth might be that the door is about to bust open from all the skeletons that are actually there.

Woman Brain Vs Man Brain Summary

All kidding aside, when it comes to woman brain vs man brain and relationships, there can be disappointing outcomes. Relationships fail because neither understands how the other’s brain works. Therefore, we all assume that your brain works like mine and that’s a huge mistake.

This isn’t an article about you changing who you are. It’s an article about understanding the differences between men and women so you can modify how you act toward the men in your life. This will help them better understand you and your intentions and it will keep many arguments and disappointments from ever happening.

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

How to Get Rid of an Ex

How to Get Rid of an Ex

So you’re interested in learning how to get rid of an ex. There are two easy steps that will help you rid yourself of him for good!

It’s the same old story. You spend months, or even years in a crappy relationship until you finally summon the courage to get out. You dump him and enjoy your newfound freedom, but he just won’t go away.

He’s lonely and he wants you back. It’s an interesting twist of fate for most men who are usually the ones to break up. Still, there he is looking all pitiful and you actually give some consideration to taking him back.


Before you cave in and add a few more months or years of misery to your life, read these tips on how to get rid of an ex.

What Made Him Want You Back?

Most likely, your ex saw you re-engaging with life. You may be working out, changing your hair or wardrobe, and generally making positive changes in your life. He’s intrigued and even challenged by this new you.

Without realizing it, you took the steps I often recommend for women who want their ex back. I’m not saying what you did was wrong, because it wasn’t. It was exactly right, but it had a positive impact on your ex. So now, what can you do?

How to Get Rid of an Ex: Make a List

Sit down and review your relationship with this guy. What was it that made you want to break up with him in the first place? What are the chances that he’s changed and those reasons would no longer exist?

People break up because something, or most often, someone is broken, usually both people. Your confidence has dipped. He’s a misogynist or a narcissist. Your communication was poor. One of you gained more confidence while the other stayed stuck with low confidence. The list is miles long.

Do you see any evidence of positive change? Sure, you’ve changed, but has he? A misogynist or a narcissist isn’t likely to change so you can forget it if that’s your ex.

Now, review the men you’ve dated and make a list of their positive traits. You can include your most recent ex in your evaluation. When you review these positive traits, how many does your ex have right now? Not when you started dating but when you broke up. Be honest.

Knowing how to get rid of an ex requires honesty with yourself about him and your relationship with him. Just because he came back and stirred some old chemistry doesn’t mean the two of you will work this time.

how to get rid of an ex

Talk to Your Friends and Family

These folks were with you during the difficult time you and your ex experienced. They helped you think through your decision to break up with him. While you may be feeling that chemistry and focusing on only the good memories, they recall the tears and anguish he put you through before you finally decided to get out.

When you want to know how to get rid of an ex, you need to be prepared for your friends and family to take a tough stance. They don’t want to see you get hurt and they’ll be there to support you now as you try to stand strong with your decision.

How to Get Rid of an Ex | Stay Away From Mutual Friends

The friends you shared are usually the ones who are telling your ex how great you look and all the details of your new, confident life. They don’t intend harm, it’s just casual conversation. In fact, he may overhear it and not directly be part of the conversation.

If some of those friends were your friends to begin with, you can kindly remind them that you’re looking into how to get rid of an ex, not how to bring him back. They probably don’t even realize what they’re doing.

If those friends were his friends, it’s time to extricate yourself from the group. They might think they’re helping when they aren’t. They see how miserable he is and they don’t realize you don’t want him back, so they share news of your new life with him.

Block Him from Your New Life

Depending on how involved the two of you were, you may now share some aspects of your life, like bank accounts or other memberships.

It’s time to separate those accounts. If he added any money to the account, ask for a cashier’s check and mail it to him. Remove his name from the account or close it all together and open a new one.

For any other memberships, your best move is probably the same, close the account you share and open one that’s just yours. Let him know things are closed and if he wants to rejoin, he’ll need to do so on his own.

While you’re removing him from your life, block him on your social media and other accounts. If he’s bugging you by text or phone calls, you can block him. While he can still find out what you’re doing through friends, at least you’re making it more of a challenge for him to do so.

Are You Ready to End it?

Not all breakups are initiated by a man. If you're ready to end this relationship, go for it. Only you know whether you're happy and if the relationship is fulfilling your needs. It's possible that he feels the same way but you're both afraid to take that step. It's okay. Read some of the other articles on the subject by clicking below. They're here to help.

how to get rid of an ex

How to Get Rid of an Ex | Be Blunt

I know you don’t want to hurt him, even if he’s being a pain right now, but you’ve probably heard the saying, nice guys, or in your case, nice gals finish last.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a time for being nice. If all other attempts have failed, it’s time to be direct. This is the language he understands best. “I’m sorry Bill, but I really am not interested in getting back together. Please stop trying to win me back.”

Shake Things Up

He knows your routines, so it’s time to change them. I know this is an annoying thing to do, but it reduces your chances of running into him. For example, if you both went to the same gym before, start a new membership somewhere else. Get your coffee somewhere else. Drive a different route to work. Shop for groceries someplace else. Move to a new home.

All these things help make you more difficult to find.

Of course, if you have a stalker on your hands, you need to take even more drastic measures, like moving to a new town, not just a new home, changing your phone number and other information he knows.

The Nuclear Option: Contacting His Family

In your quest for knowledge on how to get rid of an ex, you probably didn’t consider this one and the success of it will depend on not only his relationship with his family, but yours too.

If you had a good relationship with them, you might be able to go to them now and ask them to intervene on your behalf. Mothers are especially effective in these efforts, although if he’s closer to his father and you’re comfortable speaking with him, start there.

Without accusation or speaking anything negative about their son or loved one, share with them that you’ve been trying to get your ex to leave you alone. Ask them if they can help you by speaking with him and asking him to stop.

It’s possible they will be more effective than you’ve been.

How to Get Rid of an Ex

Exes have a way of noticing the positive changes you’re making in your life and it intrigues them, whether you want it to or not. They suddenly feel challenged by this new you. You’re mysterious to them again and their interest is piqued, especially if they’ve had little luck in moving forward themselves.

Try the steps above on how to get rid of an ex and hopefully, he will see the light and go away. Be kind and encourage him to move on without you.

Stay positive, but stand firm in your resolution to keep him out of your life and don’t offer up being friends as an alternative. He will only view this as another way to win you back. Tell him instead that if he can stop pursuing you for a relationship, maybe some day the two of you can be friends again.

If you're ready to move on from this relationship, you're ready for He's Gone, Now What? This book walks you through the many aspects of dealing with a breakup, even if you're the one who initiated the breakup. Regardless of who started it, as they say, your body becomes addicted to the chemicals associated with being in love. The withdrawal process is as daunting as the withdrawal from cocaine.

You'll also learn about the stages of grieving a relationship and how to begin moving forward. You'll walk through the steps of preparing yourself for dating again and gain an understanding of how you can do so in a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about the book here or you can purchase it by clicking one of the buttons below.

Is He Moving Too Fast? How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

Is He Moving Too Fast? How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

Is he moving too fast? Can you control the pace of a relationship?

You’ve known this guy for fourteen days. He texts every day, makes future dates and even talks about a trip to Italy. You’ve already met his kids and you’re concerned that it’s a bit too early for him to meet yours.

You like him. You think. But he’s moving too fast in your opinion.

What do you do?

Here’s what most women do and why their new relationship subsequently fails. They allow a man to dictate the pace of the relationship.

Unfortunately, men’s mouths get ahead of their intentions.

I’m guilty of this myself. I think I really like a woman, so I go all in. Then, I realize suddenly that I’m headed for a serious relationship with someone I hardly know. Deep down, I know I’ve been selling her my best self and she’s never seen the not-so-great side of me.

Men panic and flake because it’s easier than backing out of the Italy trip. It happens all the time.

It’s not your fault. Your only mistake is letting him determine the pace of a relationship because you like him and you’re happy to be dating a descent guy.

The person who controls the pace of the relationship becomes the attracter. If you slow him down, he’ll be more into you because you hold power. You become a challenge and, as you know, men are competitors who strive to earn your love.

Controlling the pace of a relationship benefits you exponentially. It also becomes a test for him. If you slow things down and he gets angry at you, you just saved yourself months, maybe years, of dating a potential head case!

is he moving too fast

How Do You Slow Him Down?

Slowing him down is easy. You can use this exact template or add your own spin.

“Gregg, I’m having a ton of fun and I like you. I like the direction we are headed in, but I’ve learned that getting to know someone takes me time and I need to slow things down. Okay?”

They key element is that you tell him that you like him and that you like where you are headed and then you state your goal of slowing the pace of the relationship.

You could even kid about the psychology of guys by saying, “Jim, I’ve dated guys before who were this eager only to realize their mouths got ahead of their brains. Let’s chill a bit and take our time. Now, what movie are we watching tonight?”

This example states what you know through your own experience, gives him a nice exit to cool his jets, is humorous, and then gets right back to the fun of dating!

Either example works. Just make sure you use one and use it as soon as you wonder if he is moving too fast.

the pace of a relationship

What Happens After You Tell Him He is Moving Too Fast?

A good guy gets it. He talks with himself and realize he was shooting for the stars too soon. He respects you for telling him, and he wants to up his game to keep you in his life.

The best part is other women will pale in comparison to you! You are the only one who put the brakes on his pushiness and that increases his respect for you.

Let him take the reigns again. It’s okay. You’ve exercised your power and now you can let him continue making plans alongside you. If he still pushes to meet your kids, smile and let him know now is not the time, but maybe soon.

What are the stages of a relationship?

Summary | How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

This is one of the many attraction principles that reel in a guy like a cat to tuna. Few women realize that controlling the pace of the relationship helps attract the man into your life not out.

Controlling the dance is a way of expressing confidence and establishing boundaries with someone you’re interested in.

The next time a guys mouth gets ahead of his intentions, you know what to do!

Ultimately, the success of any relationship is excellent communication. Without it, you have nothing. Learning to control the pace of a relationship is all about using your communication skills.

In The Power to Communicate, you learn these skills! This book isn't written as a relationship building book, and yet, without great communication, no relationship can survive.

Improving your communication skills benefits all your relationships, at work, at home, with friends and family. If you're going to read one book this month, make it this one!

Starting a Text Conversation with a Guy

Starting a Text Conversation with a Guy

You just met a new guy, and you need some text conversation starters that won’t send him running.

“How are you?” just ain’t gonna fly.

A great text conversation with a guy begins when you first meet him. What is he in in to? Sixty-seven Mustangs? His German Shepard dog named Moe?

Maybe he is studying for a test he must take next week. These are the homerun texts that will get you responses. If you can’t remember squat, then secretly browse his social media pages.

You want to hit him with personal, pithy texts that only he could answer. Do this and he will want to answer even if he hasn’t been sold on your awesomeness yet. Remember, you probably just met so these texts need to keep him hooked.

Keep your texts short and fun. Ask some questions. Questions yield responses.

“Jim! This is Megan from Saturday night. You in the garage working on that blue ’67?”

“Hey, I’m walking my dog Larry – I think Moe and Larry would love to meet!”  

“Johnny! How the heck are you? How did your realtors test go on Monday?”

Notice I used his name. People love hearing their name so use it.


how to start a texting conversation with a guy


Confident Texts

These texts exude confidence. They show a man that you like him, but you only will like him as much as he likes you.

“Gregg! Hitting the gym after work, you up for joining me? I’ll teach you the right way to do crunches!”

This text has it all. It’s a question. It states his name. And it issues a challenge. Men love challenges and this one is a good one. This text also tells Gregg that you are going to the gym with or without him.

Notice what is not in this text. There are no ‘maybes’, or ‘if you have the time’ types of low confident words.

Starting a Text Conversation With a Guy: Timing Texts

Timing and spacing of your texts is critical too. Texting a guy you just met last night will sound a bit desperate if you text him later that night or first thing in the morning. Wait a day or two, but not three days.

Text him only as much as he texts you – actually, text him less. This keeps him chasing. Your goal is to get him off the phone and on a date, chit-chatting all day long on the phone.

Once he responds, delay an hour or so. This is a nice balance. Gone are the days of getting back days later. People won’t wait that long.

Obviously, there are exceptions. If he has tickets to a sports event that night, you need to respond quickly.

Never Double Text

If he doesn’t respond, then you are done. He needs to make the next move, or he is not interested. Repeating your text twenty minutes later will not get him to respond. You could try one more time two weeks later, but that is the last resort.


Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested

More Great Conversation Starting Texts

“You and I killed it at Sunday karaoke! Where did you get that voice?”

Compliment your guy on his singing passion while you include yourself. He combines his passion with you and BINGO…he is drawn to you.

“What do think of this sixty-three split window ‘vette?”

OK, you cheated on this text. You knew he is a car lover, so you did a little bit of studying and you sent a pic. Later, you can admit to this, and he will be just as impressed, but for now let the text ride!

“Jimbo! I was thinking about getting a dog, what breed would you recommend that won’t chew on my neighbors leg?”

Funny. Short. You gave him a fun nickname which only close friends normally do, and you asked a question. Very nice.

“Lare Bare! (His name is Larry) Come join my friends and me at Ricco’s tonight! They have a great band, and I would love to see your smiling face again.”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life! That’s all I have so let’s get crazy and get a pepperoni pizza at five. You in?”

This text is just silly and dumb. Guys like silly and dumb. It tells him that you are a unique character, which you are! Grab another phrase and start your text with something that strikes you.

“I woke up, looked in the mirror and I looked fantastic! I can’t wait for tomorrow 😊 You around for dinner on Tuesday? My treat.”

Again, this is just silly. But it’s very confident and he will pickup on this. You’re calling yourself pretty – which you are and then you pivoted and asked him out in a cool, casual way. If it’s me, I’m scratching my head wondering who the heck is this woman and craving to get to dinner.

“Peter, this is Beth just checking in to see if you can repeat your incredible performance last night. If I don’t hear from you, I will take that as a no and I will look elsewhere for a boyfriend 😊”

This one is cocky but it’s great. He gets a compliment; you tease him about becoming your boyfriend, but you mellow it out with an emoji.

Conversation Starting Texts Summary

These text conversation starters are so powerful! I can go on forever with examples, but you get my point.

  • Think outside the box
  • Make your opener something that no one else would say
  • Risk it!

If this guy can’t laugh and jump in with his own funny response, lose his ass and move on! These texts become a test to see if he is worthy of you. If he can’t engage, you’ve saved yourself time and energy.

If you have read my stuff, I know you have multiple options of guys to date. Don’t let your text game be your weak link.

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