Understand Men Archives

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

Why is he texting me if he’s not interested? You’re here for that answer because it’s aggravating you and you’re confused. You met him and you like him, he’s texting you, but he still seems disinterested. He’s hot and cold, keeping you on the hook but not pulling the trigger. He texts, but he never asks you out. What gives?

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested? You’re Second Choice

The truth is he might have a regular girlfriend, but he’s found you and you make a good Plan B. If he’s already a little bored in his other relationship, he may be looking for alternatives.

He’s still considering whether he’ll stay in the old relationship or choose you instead, so he’s texting you even though he doesn’t have a plan.

He has options and he thinks he’s all set.

He Only Wants Sex

It’s possible he wants a friends-with-benefits relationship, at least for now. Very often when you’re left asking, why is he texting me if he’s not interested, this is the answer.

A man will have sex with a woman if he finds her the slightest bit attractive. This doesn’t mean he wants to marry her. In fact, a woman who will sleep with him too soon is often the furthest thing he wants as a long-term mate.

The woman he wants to make a commitment to has her act together and wouldn’t give in to sex too soon. I distinguish these two types of women in this way: rest stops and keepers. The rest stops are the women men date to have sex with. They’re the women men date until they find the keeper. The keeper is a woman who is confident, has a good job, is financially sound, and challenges him.

Obviously, you want to be a keeper. If you fear you’re a rest stop, there are ways to change.

He’s Lonely

It’s possible that the answer to why is he texting me if he’s not interested is that he’s lonely. He may just be looking for someone to fill the gaps and ease his loneliness. If this is the case, one of these scenarios is probably the reason:

He just moved to the area and doesn’t know anyone
He just got out of a relationship
The two of you just broke up
He has a crush on another woman who won’t give him the time of day

Loneliness sucks, so having a friend to talk to can be a nice way to feel a little better. It’s possible your relationship could turn into something more, but he might be hurting right now and just needs a friend. If you’re fine being his friend, it’s all good.

Sometimes people click via text. This is especially true if you met him online and haven’t met yet, or you’ve met once or twice but there was no obvious chemistry.

The attraction is in the banter. You seem to gel conversationally, but in person, everything falls flat. You might be a laugh riot in text and he’s fully entertained by these conversations.

If you want this guy to get serious, back off on being so entertaining. Make him see you in person to discover your witty banter and be entertained.

He’s a Player

I almost hate to bring this up because it’s a yucky answer to the question of why is he texting me if he’s not interested.

Some guys are players and the only reason they’re showing interest in you is that you can better their lives in some way. Usually, it’s with sex, but sometimes it’s status. You have a good job and therefore increase his social status, or you drive an expensive car, again increasing his social status.

Chances are you’re not the only female he’s engaging with right now. There are probably several others. He’ll text you for a while, then he’ll ghost you and turn up again a few weeks

He found someone else who was offering him more than you were, but she figured out his games and left, or her usefulness in his life diminished. Either way, this guy isn’t worth your time and energy.

Oh the Mysterious Ways of Men!

There's no way for a woman to know intuitively what to expect from a man. That's why I'm here! There are many differences between men and women and this article shows you a few. But there are others. Click the button below to read those articles too!

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Insecure

Players lack confidence. That’s why they’re attracted to women with low confidence. They exude confidence, but their confidence is strictly in their ability to get into your pants because they’ve practiced it a lot.

A man who is insecure might not be a player. He could be inexperienced with women, or he might not feel that he’s lovable. He could also fear rejection, so a good move for you may be to ask him out.

Show him you’re interested in him and boost his ego a bit. If you like him and you want to see where it can go, take the chance. If he still says no, it might be time to cut him loose.

His Ego Needs a Boost

It’s possible that when he’s with you, he gets an ego boost. Around his friends, he’s a schmuck, but when he has a beautiful woman or a woman who improves his social status, his ego gets a boost.

His self-esteem isn’t that high, but when he’s with you, he feels better about himself. He was able to snag a beautiful woman. Woohoo. In his mind, this says he can get any woman he wants, or at least he wants people to think that.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Not Sure What He Wants

This guy is probably afraid of a commitment. This type of guy wants you in his life, but he’s scared to death that you’ll want more than he can offer.

Because he really does like you and probably wants a relationship with you, he keeps texting you. This is his way of maintaining a connection and keeping you on the hook.

He’s so fearful of commitment, but at the same time, so attracted to you.

This is a huge conflict for a man, and he might not understand the reason for his inability to commit.

He’s Bored

He hasn’t texted you for weeks, if not months, then he starts again. You’re boggled and wondering why is he texting me if he’s not interested. He probably has a lame excuse for his absence in your life, but he realized how much he misses you.

This is all a bunch of garbage. He’s feeding you the lines he thinks will work to enable you to forgive him and keep talking to him.

The reason he was gone is that he found someone else. The reason he is back is that she left him because she figured out he wasn’t going to commit.

You don’t need to be any man’s boredom buster. You can do better!

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested? He Likes the Attention

This guy has an overwhelming need to feel admired and wanted, but it isn’t so overwhelming that he wants to make a commitment to you.

All he wants is your attention. He just needs to feel that he’s desirable. You probably text him more than he texts you. You reply with longer texts while he gives back the bare minimum.

The best way to handle this is to slow down how often and how much you reply. Give less entertaining texts and reduce the engaging replies you send.

He’s Just out of a Relationship

This is kind of like dealing with a man who’s lonely, except this guy has baggage to unload. His wounds are fresh and while he likes the attention he’s receiving from you, you’re just filling in a gap for him.

He really misses his ex, whether he realizes it or not, and your texts are keeping him going while he sorts through the breakup.

This guy is a mess inside. Whether he broke up with her or vice versa, he has a lot of stuff to deal with. Getting into a relationship with a guy who just ended another one is never a good idea.

He’s a Shy Guy

People who are shy are often misunderstood. They’re perceived as being snobby or standoffish when they’re not. They’re simply not outwardly comfortable.

Texting is safe for a shy guy. He doesn’t have to risk rejection if he’s only texting you.

Texting is his safety net. He feels more comfortable tapping out a conversation than having one with you in person.

If your guy is a shy guy, you can ask him out. This increases his security because he now feels there’s less of a chance of rejection. As he gets to know you, he’ll come out of his shell, if you accept him for who he is and don’t push him too far too fast.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Worried About the Opinions of Others

He’s texting you because he likes you, but there’s a roadblock in advancing your relationship. He’s worried about what others will think.

This worry might come from how you met. Some folks don’t like to admit they met online while others worry about meeting at a place they don’t want to admit to, like a bar or club.

Another reason he might be afraid of other people’s opinions is if there’s an age discrepancy or you’re ethnically different. I once coached a woman whose husband was from Jamaica. Her family was from Portugal and not very accepting of not only racial differences but people from other countries.

Even though they both lived in the U.S., her family still held these beliefs. Under those circumstances, it would be difficult to share a love interest.

He’s Unsure of What You Want

Somewhere along the way, women were taught to be coy and elusive with men. This isn’t helpful because men don’t pick up on cues very well. Men need you to be a straight-shooter.

If he’s confused about what you want from the relationship, he’ll hold back to avoid rejection.

Being coy and elusive sends him mixed messages. One minute, you seem to be interested in him, then you spend a lot of time being aloof or vague.

It’s fine to be aloof with a guy if he loses interest or seems to be going rogue, but otherwise, don’t play games like that. Men are simply clueless to the whole thing and the message you’re trying to send is lost.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s a Dating Rookie

Some men, especially young men, have limited dating experience. Even a man whose first relationship started when he was young but lasted a long time will be inexperienced.

He might not really know how to behave in a dating relationship. This doesn’t make him undesirable; it just makes him unsure of how to proceed.

Be patient with this type of man. He wants to date you, but he’s unsure of what his next move should be. You may need to guide this relationship a little and help him out. Provide him with obvious cues as to what you want.

“Hey, let’s go to a movie this weekend.” This way, he has come ideas of what to do next time.

While I encourage patience, don’t wait too long for this guy to get his dating sea legs. He should start to figure it out after a while. The guy who doesn’t probably needs to practice on someone else.

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

How can you handle a guy who texts but seems disinterested? A lot of that answer depends on the reason for his actions. If he’s a player or using you for status or boredom busting, it’s time to exit the relationship. Although that’s not even right because you don’t really have a relationship with this type of guy.

If his issue is his own lack of security or confidence, you can try being patient with him. Guide him along and let him know you’re interested in him. Make the first move and see if he improves with time. If he doesn’t, you’re best off cutting your losses, but if he does, you’ve probably won yourself a loyal man.

You should be able to have an honest discussion with him about how you feel. Don’t be accusatory but let him know how his actions are impacting you. This won’t work for a player or a guy who’s using you for some reason that only positively impacts him. It will work for a guy who’s struggling with his emotions and insecurities.

Use “I” language. It’s much harder to dispute someone’s statement if it’s an “I” statement. For example, “Gregg, I feel like you want to do things together, but you never ask. It makes me feel as if you don’t really want to be with me.”

If you exit the situation and he’s not a player or a user, he may come to realize the loss of you in his life. In that instance, he might discover that he wants you back and will make a better effort to win you back.

Conclusion

The bottom line is that you deserve a guy who can pay attention to you and be there for you. If the guy you’re texting with right now isn’t that guy, it may be time to move on.

If a guy is texting you but doesn’t seem otherwise interested in dating you, the choice is yours on how to proceed.

Just make sure you don’t stay out of fear of being alone. Stay because you believe he has the potential to be a better guy and you want to see where it can go.

If you find that you’re in this situation too frequently, it might be time to try Riding Solo for a while.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

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Should I Tell Him How I Feel?

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Hell, yes! You should tell him how you feel!

I get the “Should I tell him how I feel?” question all the time from women who are scared to share their feelings with a man they like.

They ask:

“What about the game Gregg?”
“What about the challenge and keeping the mystery you always talk about?”

“Shouldn’t he make the first move?“

I get it. And, yes, I have said those things – so let’s clear things up now.

It’s how you act after you make it clear that matters! If you tell a man you have feelings for him and start texting him to death, lining up dates, and stalking his ex, yes you will chase the horse out of the barn.

BUT,

If you say, “Jim, I’m starting to like your shapely ass”, and back off, amazing things could happen. He’ll expect you to start texting him a million times and, instead, he is shocked that the opposite happens – you go back to your amazing fun-filled life where you are happy with or without his shapely ass.

Do you see the difference? You bulldoze through the friendship crap and you open the door to love while you create challenge and mystery.

You put the ball in his court to do what he wants with it. If he does nothing, then you try one more time two weeks later, or you move on without any hurt.

Then, you do it again with another man who gets your attention.

Should I Tell Him How I Feel?

The key is developing a vibrant social life so you have these opportunities. Next, have the confidence to tell men how you feel without taking a hit if you don’t get your desired outcome.

Put these two things in place and the rest is easy!

How?

Get your confidence here.
Get your social life here.

The alternative? Wait, wonder and hope he makes the first move.

Flirt endlessly.

Both suck! Get it over with.

Tell him how you feel. I guarantee you’ll be shocked by the outcome. You’ll find that the guy you thought wanted nothing to do with you wants to grab a pizza this weekend.

And, you’ll feel great about yourself for doing what few women dare try!

What’s the worst outcome? He smiles and you never hear from him again? Big friggin’ deal. Stop allowing yourself to imagine the worst outcome and start envisioning the best outcome. In fact, do this with any decision you make.

So, when you ask, “Should I tell him how I feel?”, my answer is a resounding yes!

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4 Ways to Bring Out the Hero Instinct in a Man

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Unlock the Hero Instinct in Men

The hero instinct in men is something you may dismiss as silly or unimportant, but it’s an essential aspect of your relationship.

Allow me to explain.

Men Show Love in Different Ways

Before we dip into the hero instinct in men, we need to get on the same page about men and how they show love.

While a woman waits, sometimes impatiently, for a man to say I love you, she misses the signs that he loves her. Many breakups occur because of this very fundamental misunderstanding.

A man shows his love by doing and fixing things for you. He mows the lawn before your big birthday party with your friends. He repairs the leak under your sink. Your car maintenance is taken care of. He builds the shelves you want in your office.

Those are signs of love.

So is being your hero.

As children, we all have a hero. For boys, it’s often a superhero like Batman, The Hulk, or a sports figure like my hero, Bobby Orr. Girls might view Wonder Woman as a superhero or another woman like Maya Angelou, Mia Hamm, or Oprah.

Even though we grow up, men still long to be a hero in their life. They fantasize about being heroes in their everyday lives, saving an older adult from an attacker or swooping in to save the world from terrorism. Okay, maybe a regular guy like me isn’t going to save the world from terrorism, but a guy can dream.

And we do dream of being your hero. It makes me feel great when my girlfriend treats me as her hero, adding to my attraction to her.

You’re a strong woman who doesn’t need a hero, but your guy still needs to be your hero. You want to give him everything and ask him for little in return. You want to take care of him. But this usually attracts players, not heroes.

Trigger the Hero Instinct in Men to Find Your Perfect Man

Compliment Him

Everyone loves to be complimented when they’ve done something, even men when they’ve done something extraordinary, even men. But it’s essential to deliver a meaningful compliment, not just an off-hand compliment.

If you compliment a carpenter on his excellent woodworking skills, he’ll think, “Eh. I hear that all the time.” But if you tell him how you admire how considerate he is to people he meets, you just triggered his hero instinct.

The caution to this tool, and the others you learn on this site, is to use them sparingly. A compliment every day loses its value, just like complimenting a carpenter on his woodworking skills. Something said too often has little positive impact.

Compliment him in areas of his life where he’s less likely to receive them from others, and they will be more meaningful, mainly because you’re the only one saying them.

Challenge Him

Superman doesn’t just show up for every disaster. He shows up when nobody else can save the world from evil. Your job is to trigger this in him, but maybe less dramatically.

Challenge him to a game of racquetball or a bowling match. Have a race at the grocery store to see who can get all the items on their list first. See who can ski to the bottom of the hill first without falling.

Help him put on his cape and defeat the enemy.

Ask for Help

There is no shame in asking for help. I know that women are viewed as strong and independent in today’s culture, and I’m all for it. But your guy wants to help you. Remember, it’s how he shows his love for you.

So when you dismiss his offers for help, you’re not allowing him to show his love for you. I beg you, for the sake of Gotham City, ask him for help!

Men like to fix things, move things, maintain things and even pick up the dog pooh. No, it isn’t as romantic as bringing you flowers or chocolate, but it’s how men protect and save you from the evil world outside.

Ask him for help from time to time. Unless he really is all thumbs, encourage him to replace the pipe under your sink. Enlist his help in painting the bedroom before your parents come to stay.

Just don’t forget to compliment him on a job well done too!

Hero Instinct – Make Him Work for You

Nothing worth having comes without a fight. Those are important words and apply not just to material things but to relationships.

If you’re too easy to get, a man will quickly lose interest in you. Make him fight for you.

How?

Don’t be available for every date request he throws out there, especially if it’s last minute. But, when you decline his invitation, suggest another.

“I’m sorry, Dan, I can’t go to dinner with you tonight, but I was thinking about hiking this Saturday. Would you like to join me?”

“No, I’m sorry, Steve, but I’m not available for a movie tonight. I have Yoga. Can we move it to Tuesday?”

There are other things you can do to make him work for you:

Break your routine – when he zigs, you zag!
Change your look; who doesn’t love a new hairstyle?
Stay positive even when the world around you is constantly in misery.
Be open to all ideas and be open to trying new things
Thrive outside your comfort zone
Take on new hobbies and adventures, so you always have stories to tell!

The Hero Instinct in Men

Now that you better understand the hero instinct in men use it to your advantage. Your confidence shines through when you do the things you just learned, and great men love confident women.

A man who doesn’t feel he’s your hero will begin to look for a new woman eventually, and that’s unfortunate because encouraging his hero instinct is so easy.

Relationships without the hero instinct fail more often than not. Don’t become part of that statistic!

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Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

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This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

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Journaling Techniques That Work!

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Whether it’s a personal or couples journal, starting a journal is like starting a new workout – you need great journaling techniques! Otherwise, it’s great at first but fizzles out fast and before you know it, the excitement and consistency wane into more of a meh kind of feeling.

Well, there are too many benefits to both journaling and exercise to give up so quickly, so today I have some journaling techniques to keep you on track.

Journaling Techniques: Don’t Make Your Journal Too Large

You’ll see why this is such a big deal in a minute. Your first journal doesn’t need to be a full-size notebook. The pages are larger to fill, and it takes up more space.

Instead, go for a smaller journal. Most discount and drug stores carry notebooks in a variety of sizes. Go for one that’s big enough to write in but not so big that it feels intimidating.

Keep Your Journal with You

Now you see why I suggested a small journal. A small journal is easy to stuff into your handbag, bookbag or even a back pocket. You can easily carry it with you wherever you go, and I strongly recommend doing so.

You never know when a moment will pass by that you would like to remember. Writing about it in your journal can help you recall the memory.

Don’t Create Too Many Rules for Yourself

If you’re one who likes to make rules, pay attention to these journaling tips:

I will write in it every morning as soon as I wake up
I will write two pages every day
I won’t write negative things
I will only write about personal stuff, not work

The problem with ‘rules’ like these is that once you break the rules you established, you’ll be less likely to continue.

It’s like eating a big piece of chocolate cake while you’re dieting. As soon as you’ve broken your no sugar rule, you figure the whole thing is a huge waste of time anyway and you give up.

Write in your journal when it fits each day. One day, it might be first thing while another day might be a lunchtime entry.

Setting a rule about how many pages to write can be a good thing, but it can also force you to give up if you feel you don’t have anything to say that day. Whatever length of journal entry you choose for that day is fine.

Journaling Techniques: Review Your Journal Entries

Of all the journaling techniques here, this is one of my favorites.

Go over your entries at the end of the week and look for repeating words or themes. For example, if you find yourself writing a lot about being tired, you can look back on the week and see what may have happened to make you feel so tired. Perhaps there’s something you can fix.

You may find yourself using negative self-talk in a journal. This is something to observe and fix as soon as possible. If you’re writing it down, it’s also banging around in your head. Turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk is key to mental health.

Important Journaling Techniques Include Creating a Journaling Space

You can really write in your journal anywhere, but if possible, set aside a place where you can tune out the noises around you and focus on your thoughts. This is a great journaling technique for those who live in a busy household!

I had a friend who used her oversized closet for her journaling and meditation spot. She cleared out a corner and put a comfy chair inside. She was able to use the light already in the closet and made this space all about peaceful thoughtfulness.

If you prefer to be outdoors, find a spot where you can feel calm and peaceful. Wherever you decide to write is fine, as long as it’s a spot that is as isolated from distractions as possible.

Alternatively, you can journal at a time of day where you experience fewer distractions like first thing in the morning or after everyone else has gone to bed.

Redefine Journal to Fit Your Needs

This is an important journaling technique for people who struggle for topics! Your journal doesn’t need to be the same thing, day after day.

Use it as a brain dump space. Write lists of things you want to do. Write your goals or dreams. Today is my grandmother’s birthday, so when I wrote in my journal, I wrote about my fond memories of her.

There are truly no rules about journaling. Nobody needs to read what you write so write for you and you alone. Put down whatever is weighing on your mind at that moment.

Don’t Make It a Negativity Space

Of all the journaling techniques here, this one is probably the most important!

It’s fine to write about something bad that happens in a day, but your journal should not be a daily dose of what’s wrong with my life.

If you find yourself in this mode, shift gears and write some statements of gratitude. What can you be grateful for today?

Gratitude is very powerful for positive mental health. It helps you focus on the good things that are happening in your life. Even if you’re grateful for a box of tissues or a roll of toilet paper, be grateful!

There are days when your entries will be about something bad that happened and that’s fine, all I ask is that this journal doesn’t become a place to wallow in self-pity or complain continuously about everything that’s wrong in your life.

Find Writing Prompts

Pinterest is full of journal writing prompts for all types of occasions. It won’t take but a minute or two to find lists of 30 or more prompts you can use. I like to list them in my journal at the beginning of the month and then go through them, writing about a new one each day.

This not only helps me dig into topics I might otherwise avoid, but it also helps me avoid the plague of the blank page.

Make it a Judgment-Free Zone: Journaling Techniques for Building Confidence

Your journal should be something you are free to write, draw or be creative in. You can make an entire entry by drawing a picture or writing and then painting over it with gesso.

Whatever you do in your journal, though, don’t sit back and judge it after. No, “I never should have written that about Julie’s boyfriend. He’s not so bad.”

If it’s a thought you had and it was important enough to write it down, leave it and don’t sweat it. It’s not like your friend will read the entry.

Key Journaling Techniques: Allow Your Thoughts to Go Where They Go

Sometimes, we try to avoid unpleasant thoughts, but if you start writing in a journal, your mind might just take off on a tangent. This mother of all journaling techniques is about letting your thoughts wander wherever they go without slamming on the brakes because it gets uncomfortable.

Something might be eating away at you and if you start writing, it just might pop out. It can be very freeing to write about things like that – things that are bothering you.

Sometimes, you don’t even know what is bothering you until you start writing and then, there it is, big as you please, staring back at you on the page.

That’s the point at which you just kind of say, “Well hmm. So that’s where that is coming from!”

For Those Who Don’t Like Mistakes: Use a Pen

It’s easy to erase things you wish you hadn’t written, but the truth is that if they came out while journaling, they needed to be said.

Therefore, use a pen or marker to write in your journal. Again, if you get on Pinterest, you will find tons of examples of journal pages done in a multitude of color.

This isn’t necessary, but if it helps you, go for it. Some people are more visual than others and they enjoy this type of thing.

Me? I’m a guy. Just give me a pen that writes and I’m all set.

How Can You Make a Habit with These Journaling Techniques?

You’ve got a few journaling tips under your belt so now let’s look at how you can make this a habit!

It can take up to two months or even a little longer to make something into a habit so how can you make a habit out of journaling?

Decorate the Cover

This is a great journaling technique for those who are creative – and even those who aren’t for that matter.

Make the journal fit you. Grab some decorative paper at the hobby store or some of that washi tape stuff (what the heck is washi tape anyway?) and decorate your journal. If it’s a plain cover, draw on it or glue pictures on it.

Whatever you do, make it something you like to look at. Make it feel more like it belongs to you.

One caution, however, would be to make sure your embellishments won’t get damaged when you carry your journal around.

Try to use these Journaling Techniques at The Same Time Every Day

I know in the journaling techniques above, I said no rules and I don’t want you to make this a rule. It’s more about fitting journaling into your routine. Is this something you could wake up fifteen minutes early for? Is it something you can do as soon as you get to work, before everyone else gets there?

Try to figure out where in your daily routine journaling fits so it’s not so hard to make it part of your day.

Schedule an Appointment with Your Journal

Once you know where it fits into your daily routine, set an appointment on your phone calendar so you get a daily reminder.

If nothing else, it will be annoying enough to at least give it some consideration. After it becomes part of your daily routine, you won’t need the appointment any longer and you can delete it.

Give It Priority in Your Life

All the journaling techniques in the world won’t make a whit of difference if journaling isn’t a priority in your life, so make it a priority.

Know why you want to do it and what value it has to you. If this isn’t something that is important to you, you won’t do it. Know the why for you.

Make It for You

Don’t do this for anyone else but you. If you are journaling because someone told you to or because someone urged you for some reason or another, you won’t make it a week before you toss it aside.

Make this something you do for you – a form of self-care. If there is nothing else you do in your day for yourself, do this for you.

A couple’s journal is an excellent way to bond with your significant other. Me. You. Together Forever is not just a couple’s journal but a planner too. Using this journal will help you keep your schedules synced, answer difficult questions and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about Me. You. Together Forever here or you can purchase it by clicking below.

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Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One!

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Can a Bucket List Journal Change Your Life?

Can a bucket list journal really change your life?

The movie The Bucket List introduced the idea of making a list of things you want to experience before you die or kick the bucket. In the movie, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson play hospital roomies, both terminal. Nicholson’s very wealthy character decides he needs a bucket list and, with time, the much poorer (financially) Freeman secretly creates his own list.

The two break out of hospital and begin their adventure of ticking items off their lists. But, the items on their bucket lists aren’t the items many people put on their own lists today. Here’s a sampling of the bucket lists from the movie:

Witness something truly majestic
Help a complete stranger
Laugh until I cry
Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
Drive a Shelby Mustang
Get a tattoo
Go skydiving
Visit Stonehenge
Find the joy in your life
Drive a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China

There were a few others, but this is most of the list. I show you this not to brag about some movie knowledge – heck I had to google this stuff. Instead, I show you this because several of the items on this list are truly remarkable experiences most of us won’t think to include.

Should You Create a Bucket List?

If you’re really asking me my opinion, then yes, I believe you should create a bucket list. However, having said that, I believe you should carefully consider what you put on your bucket list journal.

Creating a bucket list is another way of saying you are setting goals for yourself and this is never a bad thing. When you set goals as an individual, you build your confidence and also give your life purpose and direction.

When you set goals as a couple, you build lasting memories and intimacy. But, there are other reasons to use a bucket list journal:

You begin to examine what you really want out of life
It helps you determine where you are today and where you want to be in the future
You become energized by the possibilities that lie before you
It allows you to look past your comfort zone and think outside your safe zone
You develop a sense of accomplishment as you tick off the items you’ve completed
It keeps you from becoming idle – there’s always something to work toward
You’re more interesting

What Should be on Your Bucket List?

What you put on your bucket list is up to you, but I do have a few suggestions. Rather than seeing how many outrageous trips to foreign places you can come up with, envision adventures that will truly add value to your life.

This may be some trips to foreign countries or other states, but it might be things like you saw on the Bucket List movie list – things that are more meaningful and amazing.

Make it Meaningful

If you didn’t see the movie, Jack Nicholson’s character accomplished kissing the most beautiful woman in the world by kissing his long-lost daughter. It wasn’t some celebrity or model. Instead, it was a healed relationship.

When you set goals, they should be attainable. and the same goes for the items you place in your bucket list journal. Visiting the Louvre or riding a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China are fine if they’re attainable to you in the future.

Goals should be relevant to your life and this is true of your bucket list items as well. If you don’t really like airplanes that much, setting goals to fly all over the world seems like a waste of a dream.

Overcoming your fear of flying is a fine bucket list item, and maybe more relevant to your life, but that can be done at a local airport.

To create your list, imagine you have just weeks to live. Would you want to spend those weeks traveling? If so, go for it! If not, what would you like to do? Repair relationships? Make sure those closest to you know how much you care? Spend time with a loved one you don’t get to see very often?

Our Dream Catcher is your personal bucket list journal. Use it to spark ideas, plan your adventures and even record the results. The journal is large enough to provide plenty of space to record photographs and memories of your adventures. You’ll find dozens of prompts to help you come up with ideas for your list as well.

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Using a Bucket List Journal to Create Your Bucket List

There are as many ways to create a bucket list as there are peo