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How to Keep a Guy Interested | Keep Your Great Guy

Knowing how to keep a guy interested in you is the key to your long-term relationship success. In the following content, you will find three categories of information, how you can encourage change in him without trickery or games, how to promote change within yourself and how the two of you can work together.

You're one of the lucky ones who wants to know how to keep a guy interested in you! You found a great guy and don't want to lose him. Hopefully, you’ve already put him through these tests to make sure he truly is a keeper.

Now, it’s time to learn what to do to enjoy a happy and fulfilling relationship! Now that your relationship is more comfortable and in danger of falling into a routine, it's more important than ever.

There are things you both require in your relationship, but you're both unaware of what the other truly needs.

You have a handle on what you require, but do you know what he requires? Do you how to keep a guy interested?

how to keep a guy interested

Can you keep your relationship in that blissful state it was in when you first dated? Can you keep the thrill, excitement and anticipation of seeing one another alive, months or even years later?

Yes! You can!

There are two types of emails that show up in my inbox relating to how to keep a guy interested. The first type asks how to keep a great relationship going. The second is how to get a guy to stop being aloof and lazy in the relationship.

Luckily, there are great solutions for both that don't require yelling, screaming or breaking things off.

Step One: How to Keep a Guy Interested by Promoting Change in Him

Allow Him His Space

When a man is battling something that stirs his emotions, he needs space. To keep your guy, you need to give him a safe place where he can retreat and process these emotions. Men are fixers and want to fix what’s bothering him, and sometimes you. When it’s not fixable, they need time and space to process those emotions on their own.

Women not understanding this is the undoing of many relationships. Many become distressed when their man appears to grow more distant.

Really, the man is going through something difficult like the loss of a loved one, a demotion, a failed attempt to get a promotion or some other major disappointment.

He hasn't exited the relationship, he's just licking his wounds. In time, he'll return to you if you provide what he needs now.

To keep a guy interested, give him space when he needs it.

Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings?

How to Keep a Guy Interested | Speak His Love Language

In 1995, Gary Chapman redefined how men and women understand one another by defining five love languages:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

When you understand which love language your guy speaks, you can reply in the same language. If he mows the lawn, you can reply with the appropriate language:

  • Words of affirmation – “Honey the lawn looks great! Thanks so much for getting it done!”
  • Acts of service – “I thought I’d bake you your favorite brownies for mowing the lawn!”
  • Receiving gifts – “Since you’ve been doing such a great job on the lawn, I thought I’d get you your favorite beer!”
  • Quality time – “I know you’ve been working hard outside. I thought maybe we would stay in tonight and watch one of your favorites on Netflix”
  • Physical touch – (bonus points if he’s still sweaty) “Wow honey! Great job on the lawn!” (give him a hug while you’re saying this) OR “After your shower, I’ll give you a massage to help those tired muscles!”
how to keep a guy interested

How To Keep A Guy Interested –Banish His Laziness

When a man feels he’s safe in your relationship, his desire to keep you interested declines. This isn't good for any relationship, so luckily, there are several things you can do to snap him back to attention!

Don't be More Committed Than He Is

Women often commit to a relationship before men. If he thinks he’s got you, he'll stop trying. He'll also lose interest if he doesn’t feel he needs to chase you any longer, so you’re running a big risk if you commit too early.

Men don’t fall in love immediately, and I can honestly tell you they are clueless about those milestones you tally up. You take our actions and turn them into steps to the altar. First kiss, first time for sex, meeting friends and family are all signs to you that he's more committed than he really is.

For men, those first few months of dating are more about learning who you are. If he's serious about finding a lifetime partner, he wants to know he fits, but he doesn’t think this way on the first date.

Guys Take Longer To Fall In Love

Never Stop Challenging Him

When you first met, he found you challenging. By this, I'm not indicating you were difficult or mean. He was learning about you and he enjoyed it. Now, if you've been together for several months or longer, he doesn't find you to be challenging any longer. He knows your secrets, your routines, your story. This is a dangerous spot for your relatioiship but there are easy fixes!

  • Don’t live the same day, every day – change things up
  • Stay one step ahead of him by anticipating his next move and beating him to it
  • Don’t share every single detail about your life with him in the first few dates; share tidbits throughout

How To Challenge Your Man

Be the Ying to His Yang

Everyone has areas in which they excel. Some are better at cooking while others are better at creative pursuits. Some people love putting things together while others can't hammer a nail to save their lives.

Use your strengths to compliment one another. Learn how you can balance one another by sharing tasks and chores. If you love to cook, he can do the dishes. If he's great at yardwork but hates to clean, he manages the outside while you manage the inside. This doesn't mean you're stuck doing all the cleaning while he mows, pulls weeds and maintains the outside. It just means you use your strengths to help one another get things done.

If you stay together long-term, you become a team, an unstoppable force to get things done together.

Books to Maintain a Happy Relationship

Who Holds the Cards Now?

Pennies in the Jar

COMING SOON!
Counting the Days

Couples Journal

Me. You. Together Forever

Our Dream Catcher

The book that started it all! This book helps you modify your guys behavior without trickery or games. He will be attentive again and you will hold the power in the relationship.

Learn ways in which you can keep your relationship healthy and happy! This book teaches you how to keep a guy interested in you with plenty of great ideas and information.

If your relatioship is long-distance, this book is for you! This book is filled with great ways in which you can keep your LDR on the right track. Everything you need to know is here!

Before you scoff and think your guy won't be excited about this, remember that this couple's journal was created by a guy! There are activities in here that a guy will want to do with you.

Do you have a bucket list yet? Have you created one as a couple? Our Dream Catcher is your tool to create both your own bucket list and a bucket list for the two of you.

How to Keep a Guy Interested | Make Positive Changes in Your Life

Ditch the Negativity

When you met, you were an upbeat person. It's one of the things that drew him to you. However, as weeks and months pass, life tosses some crap your way and negativity creeps in. Losing a job or a loved one shifts even the most positive person into a mode of negativity. To keep a guy interested, you must ditch the negativity.

Negative life events never stop. The trick is not to let those things bring you down permanently. In the throes of a real downer, seek something positive. Work through your emotions with a girlfriend or family member and spare him the drama of dealing with emotions he isn’t equipped to handle.

The biggest challenge is to recognize when you've slipped into negativity. It's difficult to notice because you're wrapped up in the drama of whatever happened in the first place.

how to keep a guy interested

Start a Gratitude Journal

This is an excellent way to take your focus off of negativity. When life has dealt you a few dozen lemons, turn them into a lemonade stand with a gratitude journal. Take time each day to find three to five things for which you can be grateful.

By doing so, you look for positive things that happened throughout the day. In today's pandemic climate, you may find yourself grateful for toilet paper, milk or even bread. Or, you might be thankful for a patient boyfriend or husband who is standing by you during this difficult time.

 Take Life a Little Less Seriously

Why so serious? Okay, I couldn't resist that line from the Joker in the movie The Dark Knight, but it applies so why not? It's easy to get caught up in the seriousness of a situation. Some situations warrant a level of seriousness, but there are also times to stop and laugh at the absurdity of a situation.

Have you ever met one of those people who looks like they suck on a lemon for sport? Their face is always puckered up in misery. Don't be that lemon-sucker. Find instances when you can stop and laugh at what's going on. While losing your job isn't funny, wearing one black shoe and one blue one is something you can laugh about. Chances are nobody noticed anyway and if they did, they probably smiled inside and wondered if anyone noticed the time they did the same thing.

It sounds silly to say it, but knowing how to keep a guy interested means stopping to enjoy your life, even in the midst of something bad. I know when I pass, I want my family to remember all the crazy things I did, not sit around and cry about missing me. It sounds cliche to say it, but there is usually a silver lining.

Find a Silver Lining

See what I did there? Seriously though, find a silver lining in the event that brought you down to begin with. If it's the loss of a job, what's the positive? Did you really love that job? I know looking for a job is a buzz-kill, but now you have the opportunity to find a job you can love. 

Or maybe this is a time to go back to school and get a different degree or training so you can get a job you love. Sure, you need to tighten the finances a little so you can focus on your studies, but hey, if it will make you happier at work, it's worth it!

Most negative events have a silver lining of some sort. Many require you to face change and that can be scary, but change can be good if you embrace it and make the most of the situation.

Help Someone Else

A great lesson in how to keep a guy interested is on writing your story. It's your story that intrigued him in the first place. He found you interesting and enjoyed learning various things about you. Now, he may know most of your story, so  that means it's time to add to it. Your story is all the events up until this moment that have carved you into the wonderful woman you are. Many people, men and women alike, stop building their story. They slip into a routine, mundane life without challenge or growth.

Instead of becoming stagnant, add to your story by helping others. There are so many ways to do this, I can't mention them all! While helping someone writes new chapters in your story, it also helps you focus on someone else, instead of your own problems.

Here are just a few ways in which you can help others:

  • Volunteer somewhere like an animal shelter or soup kitchen
  • Help an elderly neighbor with daily tasks
  • Visit a local nursing home or hospital and visit people who don't get visitors
  • Offer to help a friend with a big project
  • Deliver meals on wheels
  • Bake cookies and deliver them to your neighbors

Change Your Thinking

Take note of your thoughts. When you're in a negataive mode, your thoughts are usually negative as well. It's a natural slide we all make without realizing it.

A great way to do this is to use a journal. Allow your thoughts to free-flow onto the paper. Don't judge. Don't think about it, just write. When you've completed your writing, go back and read it over.

How much negativity do you see? What's bugging you that you might not even be aware of? Go back over your entries after a few days and look for trends in your thoughts. Once you see where negativity is hanging out, take steps to change your thinking.

You can do this!

While many people believe they can't change their thinking, they're wrong! You are in complete control of your thoughts, whether you realize it or not, and it's now time to exercise that control. Replace negative thinking with positive thinking. Become aware of what you say to yourself throughout the day and replace all negativity as it comes along.

This doesn't happen in a day or even a week, it's an ongoing effort that pays off bigtime!

Keep a Guy Interested by Surrounding Yourself with Positive People

Sometimes, you wake up and realize that your friends are a bunch of negative Nellies who are dragging you down. Then it's necessary to examine your friendships and weed out those negative friends. Being surrounded by negative people means you're negative too. We draw to us and hang out with people most like us, so our friendships are a mirror into our own behaviors.

If you find yourself surrounded by negative people, limit your exposure to them and seek out more positive people. They're easy to find if you know where to look. Of course, for them to accept you into their fold, you first must ditch your own negativity. Then, look for them here:

  • Doing hobbies you enjoy
  • Volunteering where your passion lies
  • Working out
  • Taking classes to improve yourself or learning new skills

You won't find them hanging out at the local bar five nights out of seven but you might find them hanging out at your favorite pub, enjoying a girls' night out together.

Own Your Thoughts

I've been tap dancing around this topic throughout this entire section, but now it's time to address it. Knowing how to keep a guy interested in you means getting your thoughts under control. Earlier, you read about changing negatives into positives, but there are other things you can do to control your thoughts.

Have you ever heard yourself say, "She made me so..." or "You make me want to..." or other similar types of statements? They're called reactionary statements and they show a lack of control over your thoughts and actions. Instead of allowing reactionary thoughts to control you, gain control over them. Any time you hear yourself start a sentence like those above, catch yourself and consider the reaction you want to have.

When your boyfriend announced that he had to work late, again, you reacted by pitching a fit and storming off. Yes, you had plans to snuggle and binge watch Outlander with him all evening, but he has another commitment that is important - his job. Instead of immediately reacting, train yourself to take a few deep breaths and perhaps count to ten, then choose your reaction.

You might react in the same way, but at least you did it by choice, not reflex. If you give yourself twenty or thirty seconds to think about it, you might decide that you'll enjoy an evening of peace and quiet. You can practice some self-care or engage in one of your hobbies. Maybe you can call a friend and go out for drinks.

Gaining control over your reactions is empowering and improves the perception others have about you, not that I'm an advocate for worrying about what others think.

Practice the Fifteen-Minute Rule

Some negativity comes from worrying, whether it's anxiety over something that hasn't happened yet or rumination over something that happened previously. In either case, it sucks the positive energy right out of you so it's time to put an end to it.

Science tells us that if you set aside a designated time of day for worrying, it allows you to focus your energy during the remainder of the day. Here's how it works.

First, set aside fifteen minutes sometime during day for worrying. Make it whenever you want but limit it to fifteen miutes. Set a timer on your watch or phone.

During the rest of the day, keep a note pad handy for those worrying thoughts. Instead of spending time on them in that moment, write them down for your fifteen-minute worry time later. Once something is written down, your mind releases it and you can return your focus to what you were doing.

Now instead of worrying all day, you have fifteen minutes of designated time out of twenty-four hours. You just freed up a LOT of yur day and you'll be more positive because those worries aren't weighing you down.

how to keep a guy interested

Take the Initiative Sometimes

Many women believe the man should be in control of everything in the relationship, but this is not the way men prefer things to be. Instead, choose key moments to take the initiative. One of the keys in knowing how to keep a guy interested in you is to take control from time to time. Here are some great ways in which you can take that initiative.

Plan a Date

It's great, recommended even, to allow the guy to plan your first few dates, but after you get to know one another a little better, he will be thrilled if you make some suggestions of your own. If he seems to be anxious about planning those first few dates, plant some seeds for him, subtly.

"Do you ever go hiking at Alum Creek? They have a great trail."

Now he knows you enjoy hiking and he can plan a date around that. You aren't telling him what to plan, simply tossing a little piece of yourself out there for him to examine. You can further the statement and add some mystery by continuing, "My friend Jeannie and I went hiking up there last summer and got the crap scared out of us by what turned out to be a squirrel! You should have seen us running and screaming until we realized what it was! What a sight we were!" Laugh at yourself for the silly memory.

Once you know him better, plan something he will enjoy, "I remember your love of ice cream so I thought we would go to the ice cream festival this weekend! They have over 100 flavors of ice cream we can try! Make sure you're hungry!"

What a guy never wants to hear is, "Whatever you want to do is fine." If he's asking your opinion, he wants it. If you don't provide it, don't be angry when you find yourself eating somewhere you don't like or doing something you won't enjoy.

How to Keep a Guy Interested | Steer the Conversation

Men don't always want to be in control of the conversation. If you want to talk about something, bring it up. Even if it's a serious topic, as long as you don't want to discuss marriage after six dates, it's probably okay.

There is a lot of pressure in a date to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing, but think about it this way. If you're thinking about something serious and related to your relationship, chances are so is he, and he may be worried about the awkwardness of the conversation too. Lead into it and give him the opportunity to have a discussion with you about whatever it is.

Become and Remain an Independent Woman

When you read independent woman, your think, "HEY! I am independent! I have my own place, pay for my own car and have a great job!"

That isn't the type of independence I'm talking about. When you know how to keep a guy interested, you understand that emotional independence keeps you challenging and mysterious!

This type of independence separates a good relationshp from a bad one. When you're an emotionally independent woman, you don't rely on a man or any other person for your happiness, security and fulfillment. You find it in yourself, your hobbies and interests. 

When you're emotionally dependent, you find your happiness and security in a guy. This leads you into a  co-dependent relationship, which is never healthy. You know you're emotionally dependent if you spend a lot of time worrying about where your guy is when he isn't with you, if he's where he says he will be, what he's doing when he's away from you and so on. 

When you're emotionally independent, you're too busy living your life outside of your relationship to worry about where he is or what he's doing. You don't feel the need to control his every move or smother him with too much attention.

Why Do Men Get Spooked?

NEVER Give up Your Social Life for ANY Man!

So many people, men and women alike, give up their social lives, their hobbies and interests when they get into a relationship. Yes, I admit that men sometimes do this too, although not as often as women.

By learning how to keep a guy interested, you know that, as a busy woman, you present him with a welcome challenge. How can he become important enough to you to warrant time on your busy schedule? What will encourage you to stop dating other guys and just date him? 

A guy who's interested in you will ask himself those questions! 

Therefore, it's crucial to keep doing what you were doing before you met him. If you did a weekly girls' night with your friends, don't skip it now. If you always spent Saturdays scrapbooking, painting or doing some other hobby, keep doing it.

I know you want to spend time together, but you don't need to spend every waking moment together, even if you're married. Both of you need to maintain your own space and interests. He might have hobbies too, but if you're always hanging on him, wanting to spend all your time together, neither of you will have any time to just be.

As an independent woman, you don't get your happiness from him anyway, at least not 100%. Sure, you are happy he's in your life, but whether he's by your side or down the street watching baseball with his buddies doesn't alter your level of happiness.

Maintaining. your own social life gives him time to do what he wants to do.

The real secret to this is that when a guy goes rogue on you, it's this activity away from him that will drive him to shape up. You go out with your friends in your new sexy dress while he goes off to watch Monday Night Football with his smelly buddies and he'll probably leave before the game is over so he can see you again in that dress!

become a guy magnet

Say What You Mean

Women and men are different in their ability to communicate and understand communication. Let me give you a real life example from my own past.

One day, my girlfriend and I were driving to Maine on the turnpike. She asked, "Are you hungry?". I replied, "Nope, I'm good thanks." A few minutes passed and she asked, "Do you need to use the restroom?" I replied again, "No. I don't need to stop."

A few moments later, we passed the last exit on the turnpike for quite a while and she was angry, "Why didn't you stop????" Totally perplexed, I said,"I didn't know you wanted to stop."

As if I should have known it all along, she dryly replied, "I just told you I needed to."

By asking me those questions, she was telling me she needed to stop, but as far as I was concerned, she was simply asking me if I needed to stop and since I didn't need to, I didn't. If I knew she needed to stop, I would have gladly pulled off the turnpike.

Please don't think that dropping hints will help guy know what you want him to understand. While girls grow up talking to other girls, boys grow up grunting at each other and using one or two word replies. Boys often develop speech later than girls for this very reason. And we don't improve as we age either. Men continue to communicate with one or two word answers, grunts and slaps on the back. We use as few words as possible to convey our meaning, often to your frustration.

If you want him to do something or go somewhere, please be clear and spell it out. A guy would rather know exactly what you want than guess and be wrong.

How to Keep a Guy Interested | Books to Help Build Yourself

Many of the negative behaviors above relate to low confidence. If you saw yourself up there and want to improve, below are a few books which will help you.

Comfortable in Your Own Shoes

Own Your Tomorrow

The Little Self-Care Handbook

Live Like You're Dying

To Date a Man, You Must Understand Yourself

A true confidence-building book for women, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes takes you through activities that naturally build your confidence, many of which are fun and rewarding!

If you're tired of feeling as if something in your life isn't quite right but you can't figure out what it is, Own Your Tomorrow! This book contains all the steps you need to begin living a happy, fulfilling life.

Self-care isn't selfish. Maybe you've heard that before, but do you believe it? There are several types of self-care and this book teaches you about each one and how to implement it in your life.

Are you tired of being afraid to live life? Does fear or anxiety hold you back? It's time to Live Like You're Dying! Learn ways in which you can embrace life and all it brings.

Knowing who you are is an integral part of finding and keeping a great guy. Follow the journey of two young women as they figure out who they are.

Step Three: Things You Can do Together

Improve Your Communication Skills

The biggest relationship killer isn't an affair, it's poor communication. As you read above, men and women have very different communication skills. You saw evidence of that in my turnpike story above.

When boys and girls communicate, they have different methods and goals. Girls are chatty and will use language skills to get along with other girls. Boys are not chatty and communicate mainly in one to two word sentences or with grunts and slaps on the back. These trends continue into adulthood when women text screens full of conversation and men reply with, "Yeah".

Men are direct with one another, like this, "Dude, your fly is open" while women will tapdance around delicate topics like that, finally giving in and whispering something to a guy in his ear so others don't hear. 

To further complicate things, men show their love while women say, and want to hear the words I love you. I often wonder how many relationships end because a woman is waiting to hear those words while her guy is fixing her broken pipes, taking her car to get the oil changed and mowing the lawn. These are all things he does to show he loves her. How can you improve your communication skills?

Learn How to Ask for Help

When you enter a conversation, you have an agenda. You want something from the person you're speaking with, you want to show them something great so they'll like you better or you want to one-up them.

Do you notice one theme among all three? They're all about you. There is nothing in any of these agenda items that is about the person with whom you're speaking and there's the rub.

What if you engaged in a conversation to learn something about the person you're speaking to? What if, instead of going into it with an agenda focused on you, you work on hearing what they have to say first?

When I'm asked how to keep a guy interested, one of the things I always mention is to improve your communication skills. If you're entering a conversation because you would like the other person to help you with something, try this:

  1. Begin by acknowledging any challenges they might face if they help you
  2. Offer assistance so they can overcome that challenge and be free to help you
  3. Provide a complimentary statement in your ask

Let's look at how this works.

"Bob, I know you need to grade papers this weekend. If I help you with the stuff I can do, would you be able to give me a hand getting the bedroom ready to paint? You're much stronger than I am and I need those big muscles to help me move the furniture into the middle of the room."

"Jim, if I mow the lawn this weekend, do you think you could fix the leak under the kitchen sink? If you give me a list, I can get the supplies ahead of time. You're so much smarter about these fixit projects than I am."

Improve Listening Skills

One of the biggest comunication problems everyone has is poor listening skills. Your desire to formulate your response overrides your desire to carefully listen. Th next thing you know, the other person is looking at you, waiting for a response, but you have no cue what they just said.

Instead of worrying about what you will say in reply, stop and listen first to what they're saying. The worst situation is when they've just shared something tragic with you and you reply with a smile. Oops!

Before you engage someone in a conversation, prepare for it. Take a breath and clear your mind of other wandering thoughts. Focus your attention only on the person with whom you're speaking.

As they speak, just listen. Don't form judgments. Don't worry about your own reply. Just hear what they're saying. Show the appropriate facial expressions when needed and lean into the conversation to show the body language of someone who's interested.

Once they stop speaking, wait a few seconds to make sure they're done, then. you can formulate a reply. Now your reply will be sincere and meaningful. 

The need to one-up someone is a low-confidence move. Your desire to show them you're at least as good as them, if not better, screams of this. Instead of worrying about your better story, just let it go. Allow this person to like you for other reasons, like being a good listener or being genuine and sincere. Your one-up story is really a put-down of them. "See how much better my story is than yours?!"

Manage Your Delivery

Knowing how to keep a guy interested in you can be about altering your delivery methods when interacting. There are three communication styles, only one of which is effective. 

The Aggressive Style

When you're using an aggressive style of communiation, you only believe you have rights, nobody else. You dominate conversations and aren't afraid to use humiliation as a conversational weapon. When a decision needs to be made, you make it without consideration for others and you can be hostile and defensive when challenged.

This type of commuciation style leaves little room for someone else to feel heard. In fact, when you communicate with someone in this way, their self-confidence and self-esteem takes a nosedive.

The Passtive Style

An aggressive communiator loves speaking with someone whose communication style is passive. This communication style leads you to ignore your own rights in lieu of someone else's. Your last concern is your own needs, sacrificing them for someone else, afraid to speak up for yourself. Often, your words and actions don't align with your true feelings and you can build anger and resentment because you're not communicating your real needs and feelings.

The Assertive Style

The assertive communicator is the ideal person to speak with. Not only do you recognize your own rights, but you see the rights of those you're speaking with. You aren't afraid to express your own needs, but don't do so at the sacrifice of someone else's needs. You are confident and it shows in the way you care about others and carefully listen to them as they speak.

Obviously, we should all strive to be asertive speakers, but it's easier said than done, especially during times of conflict.

How to Keep a Guy Interested | Fight Fair

Every couple has arguments. If you aren't arguing from time to time, someone isn't standing up for themeslves or being honest about their needs. Still, there are ways to argue that don't lead you to a breakup.

Use Those Listening Skills

People argue when they feel they aren't being heard. Something important is going down and it's either hurtful or goes againt something they want or believe.

You want a clean house but your boyfriend continues to leave his dirty clothes on the floor instead of putting them int he hamper. His toothpaste sits on the counter and he always forgets to put the seat down. After asking him repeatedly to change his behavior, you've had enough and you blow up.

It's understandable for sure. You have every right to be upset, but what's his side of things? Granted there's no good excuse for sloppiness, it might be that he wasn't raised to do those things. Maybe his mother did all that for him and he's clueless about the importance of it. 

When things are too overheated, however, it is difficult to want to listen. You just want him to change, preferrably yesterday. Take a step back and allow your anger to subside. Nothing productive comes from anger.

Once you're calm, ask him if you can talk about it. Present things from your point of view instead of with accusation.

"Jack, I feel like you're taking me for granted. I get really irritated when I walk into the bedroom and see your clothes strewn about. Do you think you could focus on putting them in the hamper from how on? It would make things much easier and our room will look cleaner and more restful. I would really appreciate it."

Since you weren't accusatory and instead spoke of your feelings, it's harder for him to disagree. If he expresses concerns in reply, discuss them and come to some sort of an agreement. If things get overheated again, exit the conversation and try again another time when things are happy and calm.

Don't Hold a Grudge

It's totally unfair to keep holding something over his head after he's apologized and tried to fix it. And yet, when we argue, we tend to dredge up every single infraction that occured up until the moment of the current argument.

Once you've discussed or argued over something and resolved it, let it go. Don't keep bringing up the time he forgot to go to the grocery store on the way home, stranding you with no chicken for dinner. He apologized and it's over.

Share a Hobby

If you really want to know how to keep a guy interested, pay close attention! Remember, way up the page when I suggested you keep your hobbies?  Now, let's take it further and discuss how you can share a hobby with your guy. 

It's helpful if he already has some hobbies of his own, but if he doesn't, you can work with that too. For example, if he loves antiques and you are creative with tons of creative hobbies, combine them. Go antiquing with him and find vintage items you can use in your projects. If one of you loves cooking and the other photography, write a foodie blog together. If you love to travel, share that by using it in hobbies such as photography or art.

If you show interest in something he loves, he will transfer his love of that hobby or passion to you. Show interest in his hobby to restore old cars and merge it with one of your hobbies. Draw pictures of old cars, take pictures of old cars at shows or read about them and talk with him about them.

Plan Regular Date Nights

This is quite possibly the most important thing you will read here about how to keep a guy interested in you. At first, you go out on dates and enjoy spending time together. You do something fun or you spend time talking and getting to know one another.

As time passes, you move in together and much of the mystery disappears. A child or two comes along and your time togther is now spent differently and alone time is less frequent.

Never stop having date nights. The longer you're together, the more important they are to your relationship. I recommend once a week, but if that cadence doesn't work for you, try every two weeks, or at the minimum, monthly. I know the current pandemic environment makes it more challenging to go out and do things, but a date night doesn't need to be out.

Take the kids to the babysitter if your date night will be at home. Engage a friend or relative and ask them if the kids can come there so you can have some alone time. After they waggle their eyebrows at you, they'll probably be happy to help.

Once you're on date night, implement a few rules:

  • No discussions that will lead to an argument - stay away from hot topics
  • Keep phone usage limited to child emergencies or, if necessary, work emergencies
  • Have fun - no heavy discussions either
  • Dress up like you did when you first dated, even if you're stayihg home

Date nights allow you to return to being that couple who just met. Share something with him that will make you mysterious, "Gregg did I forget to tell you that I signed up for belly dancing lessons?" or, "I think I'm going to try making candles as a new hobby."

He'll be intrigued and happy to learn. you're trying something new or doing something different. This time allows you to disconnect from the stressors of everyday life and reconnect on a personal level again.

Books About Understanding Men

dating advice for women books

To Date a Man You Must Understand a Man

10 Secrets You Need to Know About Men

The Untold Secrets of How Men Think and What They Want

Manimals

Power Texting Men

Text Him This, Not That

Understanding men was never so easy! Learn how the male mind works and how to use that to improve your relationships with men.

Do you know why men struggle to show emotion? Do you understand the real reason why money is so important to men? Learn these and more!

Women overcomplicate the male mind, but that doesn't mean there isn't more to learn! Here are the untold secrets!!

Demystify ten types of men and how you can date them. Also uncover which type of man is the best for you and the secrets to a great relationship.

The first texting book to help women understand men. Learn the mistakes you're making and how to fix them!

Are you tired of men not texting back? Learn the secrets of texting men with examples and a better understanding of men.

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