You’re one of the lucky ones! You’ve found a great guy and now you want to make sure you keep him! Hopefully, you’ve already put him through my tests to make sure he truly is a keeper.
Now, it’s time to learn what you can do to make sure your relationship is successful! In order to keep your guy interested, you need to make sure a few of the things that were probably in place while you dated remain in place, now that you’re in a more comfortable place.
There are things you require in a relationship and there are things he requires.
I’m sure you have a pretty good handle on what you require but do you know what he requires? Do you know what his real needs are?
You may be doubting whether or not you can get your relationship back to the wonderful place it was in when you first dated. That thrill, the excitement, the anticipation of the next date. The truth is you can get it, and keep it, if you know how.
When it comes to keeping your guy, there are two types of emails I receive – how to keep a great relationship going and how to get a guy to stop being so lazy in the relationship. There are great solutions – solutions you can implement today – for both situations.
How To Keep Your Guy Interested – Keeping Your Great Relationship
You’re in a great relationship. It’s been great from the start and, other than the usual disagreements, you’ve had no major fall-outs. That’s good. It means your relationship is on solid footing. You have what you need – a solid foundation.
Keep Your Guy Interested By Giving Him His Space
When a man is battling something that stirs emotions, he needs space. In order to keep your guy, you need to give him a safe place where he can retreat and process these emotions. Men are fixers of things so we want to figure out how to fix what’s bothering us. When it’s not fixable, we need to process those emotions on our own.
This type of thing has been the undoing of many relationships. Many women email me, having broken up with their man because he got distant. When I dig in, I find the man is going through something difficult. The loss of a loved one, a demotion, inability to get a promotion or some other major disappointment.
The man isn’t gone from the relationship – he is just licking his wounds. Given time, he would have returned to an understanding woman. This is an instance where you could keep your guy if you know how to give him space.
Keep Your Guy Interested By Continuing Life Outside Your Relationship
It is important for both of you to maintain a life outside your relationship. This relationship wasn’t the only way you found happiness before you met and it shouldn’t be the only reason you’re happy now.
Keep having girls night with your friends, taking that cooking class or doing Yoga once a week. If you belong to some hobby groups or volunteer somewhere, keep doing it.
Likewise, don’t get angry when he does his thing. Let him hang with his buddies, go golfing or bowling without you. Don’t automatically assume there’s a problem because he wants to do something without you. It’s healthy!
If you want to make sure he comes home on time, leave first and make sure you look great. He may go hang with his friends, but he’ll be thinking about you!
Keep Your Guy Interested By Speaking His Love Language
In 1995, Gary Chapman redefined how we understand one another by defining five love languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
When you understand which love language your guy speaks, you can reply in the same language. If he mows the lawn, you can reply with the appropriate language:
- Words of affirmation – “Honey the lawn looks great! Thanks so much for getting it done!”
- Acts of service – “I thought I’d bake you your favorite brownies for mowing the lawn!”
- Receiving gifts – “Since you’ve been doing such a great job on the lawn, I thought I’d get you your favorite beer!”
- Quality time – “I know you’ve been working hard outside. I thought maybe we would stay in tonight and watch one of your favorites on Netflix”
- Physical touch – (bonus points if he’s still sweaty) “Wow honey! Great job on the lawn!” (give him a hug while you’re saying this) OR “After your shower, I’ll give you a massage to help those tired muscles!”
Keep Your Guy Interested With Many More Tips
These three suggestions scratch the surface of what you can do to keep your guy interested. I wrote a book, Pennies In The Jar: How To Keep A Man For Life. This book has all of the advice you need, including:
- How to use hobbies to grow closer to one another
- Date night done right
- The best way to manage your emotions
- The value of finding other couples to hang out with
- Ways to keep the challenge and mystery alive
Those bullets scratch the surface of what you’ll find in this great book! Just check out a few reviews:
How To Keep Your Guy Interested –Banish His Laziness
When a man feels he’s safe in your relationship, he’ll become complacent – lazy even. He won’t try as hard to keep you interested. This is not a good place for your relationship to be in at any time. The good news is that there are several things you can do to snap him back to attention!
Don’t Be More Committed Than He Is
Women often commit to the relationship before the man does. If he thinks he’s got you, he will stop trying. He will also likely lose interest if he doesn’t feel he needs to chase you any longer, so you’re running a big risk here.
Men don’t fall in love immediately and I can honestly tell you we are clueless about those milestones you tally up. You take our actions and turn them into steps to the altar. First kiss, first time for sex, meeting friends and family are all signs to you that we’re committed.
For a man, those first few months of dating are more about learning who you are. If we’re serious about finding a lifetime partner, we want to know that we fit, but we don’t start thinking this on the first date.
Never Stop Challenging Him
When a man feels complacent in a relationship, it is partly because he isn’t feeling challenged any longer. This can lead him to start looking around if you’re not careful. To avoid the risk of this happening, you need to keep him on his toes. How?
- Don’t live the same day, every day – change things up
- Stay one step ahead of him by anticipating his next move and beating him to it
- Don’t share every single detail about your life with him in the first few dates; share tidbits throughout
Take The Initiative Sometimes
In the first few weeks of dating a new guy, it’s important to let him plan the dates but if you’ve been together for a while, you need to do some of the planning. No guy wants to be responsible for every. single. activity you do together.
Your job is to plan an activity for the two of you now and then, and no, not a pedicure. If you both love hiking, plan an outing. If he loves antiques, plan to visit a local antique mall. If he likes dancing, plan that. You get the picture.
He doesn’t want to he’s less engaged or committed to the relationship and he doesn’t want you relying on him to plan everything. This shows him that you are interested in him too. Don’t forget, he might have doubts too.
No man wants a woman to become completely dependent on him. Before you met, you were financially independent, you had hobbies, passions and friends outside of your relationship. You were strong and confident and all of that is what drew him to you.
It’s easy, now that you’re in a relationship, to let some of those things slide but this does more than sever your outside connections. It also makes you dependent on him for those things. If you drop your hobby, he may become your hobby and that’s dangerous territory in a relationship. This will cause him to get spooked and bolt!
When your happiness and your very survival begins to depend on a man, you’ve shifted into a co-dependent relationship and those never work!
Curb The Negativity
Chances are that when you met, you were a pretty upbeat person. It is one of the things that probably drew him to you. Sometimes, though, life gets in the way and negativity can creep in. A job loss or the loss of a loved one can shift even the most positive person into a negative one.
Of course, negative life events are going to occur. It’s unavoidable but what you must do is remember not to let those things bring you down permanently. In the throes of a real downer, try to see a positive. Try to work through your emotions with a girlfriend or family member and spare him dealing with emotions he isn’t equipped to handle.
Plan positive things in your future. Keep your thoughts positive and upbeat and remember to keep your actions positive.
Who Holds The Cards Now?
The first book I wrote was Who Holds The Cards Now! I wrote it with the encouragement of my friends and family, who all came to me for advice – advice that almost always worked!
This book has helped hundreds of women get their guy to recommit to their relationship. Just check out these reviews:
When people learn that I am a therapist they assume I hold the golden key to relationships. The truth is that because I’m a woman first, I often don’t see my own forest from the trees. Like most of us, I’m aware and capable of using the tools that Greg presents. The difficulty is in consistent application. Greg’s books are quick and easy to read, which means I will read them over and over again. The more I internalize the suggestions, the more they will become natural and automatic thoughts and behaviors. For the first time in maybe my adult life I feel I will become as successful in relationships as I am in the other areas of my life. – Amazon Reader
Every woman, in a relationship or not, should read this book! All of Gregg’s advice is 100% accurate and it WORKS!
Stop making a man your hobby, take back your power and see how much more your man will appreciate and adore you for it! – C. Sapienza
This book offers several things:
1. By going outside of your comfort zone and thinking outside of the box (pretty much forcing ourselves to go against our natural instincts, it makes us (as women) build confidence, build a better social circle (rather than giving it up!) and discover new interests/talents.
2. It gives us clarity to evaluate our true feelings in the partner we have. Perhaps they aren’t who we thought they were, aren’t exciting enough for *US*, aren’t meeting our needs or will never step up. Who has time to waste!?!
3. It teaches us not to lose ourselves…which we ALL do to some extent. The longer we allow it to go on, the longer and harder it is to find ourselves again.
4. Develop enrichment in all aspects of ourselves and partners. – AMD
Inside Who Holds The Cards Now, you will find:
- The five steps I call Kryptonite
- Tools to solve your relationship issues
- Details on how and when to talk like a man
- Understand how his mind works versus yours
- Tips on becoming the love of his life!
More Tools To Keep Your Guy Interested
You MUST Understand Men
This book, To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man is the number one book every woman should read. This book has been a best-seller on Amazon for a long time. When you pair it with 10 Secrets You Need To Know About Men, you’ve got the one-two punch you need to fully understand how the male mind works and keep your guy!
In To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man, you will learn to:
- Understand the differences in how men and women love
- Implement Man Mode
- Become the type of woman every man desires
- Manage your baggage, and his
- Fix the mistakes most women make without realizing it
- Uncover the roadblocks men have when it comes to commitment
- Learn how to solve any problem you have with a man by turning his own characteristics back on him
- Discover what I call the ’12 Ingredients That Go Into Men’ and their importance in your life
- Take a ride on the conveyor belt to manhood to see what really rules his behaviors
Use Communication To Keep Him Interested
Communication is so powerful. We communicate in many ways. I’ve got two books to help you with communication. Power Texting Men and The Power To Communicate. These two books perform two completely different roles.
Power Texting Men helps women:
- Get a man to respond to your texts on your time, not his
- Eliminate common female texting blunders
- Learn the power of ‘less is more’
- Understand the power of not responding to every text immediately
- Get him to ask you out without realizing you’re the one who initiated it
Texting is such a huge part of our life but more than one relationship has been ruined with poor texting habits. Make sure you’re not making those mistakes!
Power To Communicate is a book I wrote for both men and women to help them become better communicators. This applies to all aspects of our lives, not just relationships. This book helps people:
- Get what they want out of life by using effective communication strategies
- Understand the importance of giving the other person what they want first, before the ask
- Boost their listening skills, an often forgotten communication tool
- Use the power of admitting you’re wrong (even if you might be right)
- Tolerate and even neutralize a complainer