You’ve found a great guy. In fact, you think you’ve found the guy to spend the rest of your life with. It’s great but you still have a few lingering doubts. Something about him is causing you to question whether or not he’s really the one. Some call the guy you date while you’re waiting for Mr. Right your meantime guy.
It’s okay to feel this way. It means you’re not blindly entering a long-term commitment without making sure everything is okay. You may have put together a list, before the two of you started dating – your criteria for the perfect guy. You’ve measured every guy you’ve met against this list and none of them quite fit the bill.
Then it hit – you found this guy and while he didn’t quite fit all of your criteria, he is still great. He still managed to sweep you off your feet. The good news is that there are a few questions you can answer that will help you figure out whether he’s your soon-to-be fiancé or your meantime guy.
Before you consider each of these questions, I need you to set aside your emotions and pull out your logical-thinker hat. Are you ready?
Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #1: How Does He React When You Mention A Future Together?
A woman will often bring up the future before a man will so chances are, you’ve brought this topic up first. How did he react? Was he willing to discuss anything like having children or whether you’d have cats or dogs? Have you discussed buying a house or condo together or moving in together someplace new?
While he might be willing to discuss these topics with you, it’s his actions that really tell the true story of his intentions. If you start talking about buying a property together and he’s on his phone to his real estate buddy, he’s definitely thinking of your future together.
If, on the other hand, he says he’ll do something but he never does, he’s not ready.
Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #2: How Does He Treat Others?
You can tell a lot about someone by how he treats others. This goes for friends and family as well as strangers. You want a guy who says please and thank you, is polite and respectful to others and treats the wait staff at restaurants politely. If he has pets, or you do, how does he treat them?
This is a great way to gauge someone’s true personality without them knowing it. I was recently somewhere with my mom and a man neither of us knew got up to hold her chair while she was sitting down. That guy is a keeper for some lucky woman!
Conversely, a guy who flies off the handle at anyone who crosses him is not someone you want to commit to. The answer you don’t want to hear is similarly.
Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #3: What’s His Work Ethic?
It might be difficult to answer this question but you’ll get hints if you’re paying attention. A guy who spends a lot of time texting or emailing you while he’s at work doesn’t have a good work ethic. If you see him bringing things from work home and not taking them back, his work ethic stinks.
What about his motivation where his career is concerned? Men of value want to have a great career so they can support their loved ones. They’re also competitive and like to show off their stuff to their buddies. Without a good job, you can’t buy a better boat than your best friend.
He should be driven to the next promotion or step in his career. At the same time, watch out for the workaholic. This guy should be avoided.
Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #4: Do You Balance Each Other Out When Things Get Stressful?
A relationship can survive when both partners are willing to support one another during difficult times. Men struggle with difficult times of their lives. We aren’t wired to manage emotions very well. Throughout our entire life, we’re told to man up or buck up or even suck it up and deal. This does nothing to help us manage things like death and disappointment.
You have to learn how to support one another. No, he can’t handle your highly emotional moments but he should at least want to fix things. He will want to bring medicine when you’re down with the flu or help you hobble to the car if you end up on crutches. If he knows you’re having a difficult time at work, he’ll at least order take-out if he doesn’t cook.
Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #5: How Are His Listening Skills?
Guys are notorious for zoning out during long talks. It happens and is especially true the longer the relationship goes on.
Test your guy by talking to him for a few minutes about your day, then switch topics, and then go back and ask him “What was I just saying?” It’s kind of sneaky but it works! Give him the benefit of the doubt if he screws up once, but if you see it happen multiple times, he’s not paying much attention to what you’re saying.
Of course, this applies to guys who are actually looking at you and nodding their heads. If he’s watching football and you’re chatting away, he’s probably not hearing a word you’re saying. Ask yourself if that’s what you want for the rest of your life. Chances are that’s a no.