Take Control of Your Relationship By Understanding Men! Part 3: Competition!
I’m Gregg, #1 best-selling author and a dating and life coach for women.
I have been answering all your emails, every day, and the subject of “understanding men” from a man’s point of view seems to be what resonates the most. Even my podcasts with pros like Lorna Poole, Suzanne Oshima and Dr. Allen Darbonne,to name a few, are about my strategies to understand and get what a woman desires from men.
Everyone, even the pros, want to hear more about my game changing strategies!
On February 24th I blogged about the 12 ingredients that go into men. Do you remember them? Please read that blog now 🙂
Today I want to talk about the 2nd ingredient – Competition. Little boys are brought up to compete. My Dad bought me a motorcycle at age 10 or so, taught me how to ride and said, “Now go beat your older cousin’s ass through those woods!” I hit a tree, bruised my leg, and cried all the way home.
I was taught to compete and to win! Everything started to become a competition in my life. I wanted to date the hottest girls, beat my peers in hockey, and even win the spelling B! When I won I felt good. When I lost I was angry and upset. This is how men are because we were raised this way. There are actual studies that conclude our brains are taught that actions are more important than words. We compete through our actions.
So it makes sense that you want to date a guy that feels he is successfully competing in life right? If he is, then he is happy, and if he is happy, then he is in a better state to love because he has fulfilled his quest to manhood – at least one of his 12 items.
A man who can’t compete has a harder time. His confidence and self-esteem are probably lagging. This hurts his ability to love. If he doesn’t love himself he cannot love a woman. Don’t pick this type of guy!
If you understand that a man needs to compete, you accept my second principle. Now you have a huge clue into what makes us tick and how you can make it work for you.
Your guy likes to compete so set things up for him to compete! This is his language.
My girlfriend is a pro at this. We go grocery shopping and she challenges me to get half the food and beat her around the store. We start off with 2 carts and tear the joint up. Is it fun? Hell YES! Suddenly, a mundane chore like grocery shopping becomes a memorable and fun moment with my girl and I even taught her this stuff!!!
Did you see what she did? I have NO interest in grocery shopping, I hate it. BUT, she isn’t taking me grocery shopping, she is challenging me to a competition around the store! So now I’ll go and if means dropping food in the cart that we need – so be it!
See how this works? She got what she wanted out of me by “framing” the act of grocery shopping into one my imprints that I understand and seek. Can you imagine the possibilities?? Think of one or two right now.
I can take ANY scenario, pick from the DNA tree (or the conveyor belt to manhood as I like to call it), and solve your problems that you have with men and now you can start to also!!
Next week, we will talk about DNA Imprint #3 – Rejection!
New book on its way covering all this stuff!!
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.
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