I have been answering all your emails, every day, and the subject of “understanding men” from a man’s point of view seems to be what resonates the most. Even the podcasts and video summits that I have been asked to do with Lorna Poole, Suzanne Oshima and, coming in May, Dr. Allen Darbonne are about my strategies to understand and get what a woman desires from men.
Everyone who hears about these strategies is amazed!
On February 24th I blogged about the 12 DNA ingredients that go into men. Do you remember them?
Today I want to talk about the 1st ingredient – Winning, and why winning is so important to men as they progress through their lives. Guys are taught to win at everything very early. My Dad slapped skates on me when I was 3, skis when I was 3 ½, and said, “Kid, get out there and show the world what you can do!”
I fell down, peed myself and cried!
That said, I quickly learned that beating my peers was an important thing. Winning was good and losing, well, was for losers. Right or wrong this is how I, and my counterparts, were brought up. Today, very little has changed!
If you understand that a man needs to win and you accept this first principle, you have a huge clue into what makes us tick and how you can make it work for you.
For example, you want to choose a winner in life to date and pass on the losers. Sounds simple and obvious but most women choose losers and try to fix them – big mistake. Losers haven’t completed their quest to “manhood” and are not ready to love even though they will lead you to believe otherwise.
While dating a winner, you can present things to him that keeps him winning as this keeps him happy. If he is happy, you are going to be happy too, right? Yes! So if your goal is to get him to paint the rest of the house after he just painted the master bedroom, which statement would work to your advantage?
1) ”Will you please finish what you started for once? I have the furniture being delivered on Friday and all you care about is watching the f**** Miami game!”
2) “Honey, the master looks awesome! If I make the popcorn and put you down for a massage can we crank out the other rooms?”
The answer is obvious. The second scenario turns him into a winner! He gets complimented, gets popcorn and a massage!!! Now he is highly motivated to take on the rest of the project. You win also because you are getting what you want. This works because now you understand how a man ticks and you are using it to your advantage!
But, you would be surprised how many women will answer like #1. Now her man gets placed in the loser category and has absolutely no motivation to finish his painting. Why would he? Furthermore, contempt gets built up and the relationship slowly starts to rust away.
See how this works? I can take ANY scenario, pick from the DNA tree (or the conveyor belt to manhood as I like to call it), and solve your problems that you have with men and now you can start to also!!
Next week, we will talk about DNA Imprint #2 – Competition!
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.