
Vulnerability: The Key to Better Relationships
It’s human nature to hide things you’re ashamed of or not to share your fears with your partner for fear of judgment, but what if vulnerability is the key to better relationships?
What if sharing those things creates a deeper bond with your partner and helps you get closer?
Today, you’ll learn why vulnerability is the key to better relationships and how to overcome the fear of sharing those things you’re afraid to share!
What Does it Mean to be Vulnerable?
When you make yourself vulnerable to someone, it means you expose yourself to the possibility that what you say or feel might not be well-received and could even cause you harm, either physically or emotionally.
When you’re vulnerable in a relationship, you’re making a conscious choice to expose something about yourself in an authentic way, allowing your partner to see and respond to this truer version of you.
How does Being Vulnerable Help Relationships?
Emotional Openness
When you’re emotionally vulnerable, you’re sharing your needs, emotions, and thoughts openly and honestly with your partner.
Often, when one partner shares, it makes the other partner feel more comfortable sharing something in return.
It might not happen right away, but it will.
Authenticity
When you’re authentic, you’re being the real you. You aren’t trying to be someone that you think other people want you to be and you aren’t hiding things about yourself.
In a world full of social media and contrived images, people are craving more authenticity than ever before.
It’s Risky
When you decide to share something with your partner, you’re taking a risk that he might not be accepting of what you have to say.
However, many times, we are so hard on ourselves that we anticipate a much harsher judgment than what would ever come.
Anxiety creates a much worse situation than reality.
You Build Trust
When you expose your vulnerabilities, you’re telling your partner that you trust him with the deepest and most treasured part of yourself. You’re exposing the things you’re afraid to share, but you trust that he won’t react poorly or harshly.
This brings you closer and helps build the intimacy we all crave in our relationships.
It Encourages Empathy
By being vulnerable, you’re asking your partner to see things from your point of view, which isn’t something we naturally do for one another. We see and judge others from our own perspectives.
But this empathy will help you deepen your bond and develop a deeper understanding of one another.
It Fosters Personal Growth
Sharing your vulnerability is scary as heck, depending on what you have to share, but the rewards are so much greater.
When you and your partner share your vulnerabilities, you’re building confidence in one another and your relationship as a whole. You deepen the sense of us against the world and enjoy a stronger bond.
Improved Communication
Engaging in open and honest communication leads to successful relationships. When you’re both able to be vulnerable, you know that you’re sharing the deepest parts of yourselves.
That trust makes it easier for you to be open and honest about other things, which continues that strengthening and bonding.
You Find Healing and Growth
By sharing your vulnerabilities, you create an environment where you both feel safe and can embark on a journey of healing.
You know that your partner understands you on a deeper level and will be your support system when things creep back up on you.

How to be Vulnerable in a Relationship
Be More Self-Aware
Before you can open up to someone else, you need to get real with yourself. Understand your own feelings and boundaries.
Acknowledge your fears and anxieties and uncover where they’re coming from. Why do you carry around this fear or secret?
And finally, be kind to yourself. You’ve probably beaten yourself up over this plenty already, so it’s time to forgive yourself and understand that you’re doing the best you can.
Use Open and Honest Communication
As you read above, being vulnerable is about using open and honest communication with your partner.
Tell him your fears. Let him know what you need from him in your relationship.
And ask him to share his fears and needs in return.
Also, when you’re communicating, use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements. These are better because they come across as being more about you and less about accusing your partner of something.
Gregg, I really could use some help with the chores around the house.
Or,
Gregg, you never do anything around here!
I know which one would get a better response out of me!
And finally, listen at least as much as you speak, if not more. Listening involves actually paying attention to what your partner is saying. You aren’t formulating your own retort or scrolling Facebook on your phone.
You’re actively engaged in conversation with him, nodding and showing appropriate responses to what’s being said.
Create a Safe Space to Share
Sharing vulnerabilities isn’t a good idea when you’re out to dinner somewhere. This is something to do in the privacy of one of your homes.
It also isn’t a great idea to share something like this if the two of you aren’t getting along very well.
You want to create a quiet and private space for the two of you at a time when things are going well between you.
To get things rolling, share your own vulnerability first. He may or may not want to share something right away. If he doesn’t, don’t be offended.
He may need time to get up his own courage, but now that you’ve shared, it will be easier for him.
When he does share, be respectful and empathetic. You know from personal experience how difficult it was for him to share. Remember that when you respond.
Start Small
The first thing you share shouldn’t be earth shattering news. Share something that’s small and not as emotionally risky.
Be patient with yourself and your partner. This vulnerability stuff isn’t easy, and you both need to show some patience with one another.
If you find that sharing either isn’t working or is causing bigger problems, consider finding a therapist to help guide you both through this difficult time.
What Types of Things Count as Vulnerabilities?
One thing you may feel vulnerable about is the relationship itself. Share this with your partner and let him know why you feel like you’re on shaky ground.
It’s possible he feels the same way but doesn’t know how to approach it with you. By getting it out there, you can discuss things and figure out what your next steps should be.
Another example is to apologize for a mistake you’ve made that impacts your partner or relationship in some way. While apologies don’t take back what happened, they are a good start towards healing.
Vulnerability can also come in the form of appreciation. I know it seems silly, but for some people, showing appreciation is new and a little scary, but everyone loves and deserves to be appreciated, so go for it!
You can also ask him for help with something. This can be emotional support or support in another way, like helping around the house or with a tricky financial situation.
And the last example I have for you is when you feel the need to share something about your past.
While you might not be proud of everything in your past, remember that those things are what made you into the wonderful woman he’s now dating or married to. His past isn’t perfect either, so by sharing, you’re letting him know that it’s okay to share things from his past too.
Wrap Up
Try vulnerability on for size in your relationship. There are only two real possibilities. One is that your partner shares his vulnerabilities in return, and you draw closer to one another.
The second is that he finds you lacking after you share and he leaves. If this happens, it was for the best. You can’t have a relationship with secrets, or a relationship where you can’t share who you really are. It will never work.
So, if sharing your vulnerabilities causes the end of your relationship, then good riddance. That guy wasn’t the right guy for you. Don’t let past negative experiences keep you from sharing again in the future.
You just need to know you’ve found the right guy for you, and when you can share your true self with him – all of your true self, you’ll know you’ve found him!
Take a deep breath and go for it! Your relationship will only survive with open and honest communication, and that includes this.