22 Top Qualities in a Good Man

You’ve looked and looked but the good man eludes you, so today you’re asking, what are the qualities in a good man anyway?

The good news is that the good man is out there, and trust me, he’s as frustrated as you are. But this is about you so let’s dive right in!

What Defines a Good Man?

I suppose before we look at the qualities in a good man, we should define what a good man is by most standards.

Of course, to some degree, the words good man are subjective. What you see as a good man might not be what your friend sees, but to be clear, I’m not talking about physical appearance.

The beauty of any human being lies inside them. It’s in how they treat people, how empathetic they are, how well they control their emotions, and how successful they are in key areas of their lives. Allow me to explain.

Qualities in a Good Man: Honesty

First and foremost, a good man is honest. Yes, he might tell you you’re beautiful even when you are at your worst, but he isn’t looking at your physical beauty, he sees what’s inside.

When you are honest with one another, you have a very strong foundation for your relationship. You develop trust and value one another’s opinions because you know you’re speaking the truth.

Honesty also means being honest with your feelings. A good man has a high emotional IQ, meaning he’s in touch with his emotions and knows how to control them. If he tells you that he loves you, you can take it to the bank!

Good Men Show Empathy

When a man genuinely feels your pain and shows compassion for what you’re going through, he’s showing empathy.

This is the type of man you want. He shares in your successes and your sadness. He’s there, celebrating with you, not feeling as if he’s been one-upped.

This guy values your feelings as much as his own and he won’t disappoint.

A Good Man is Into Personal Development

Personal development means looking for ways in which you can grow as a human being. Maybe it’s taking a cooking class or learning a new skill.

One of the awesome qualities in a good man is that he values personal development, and not just his but yours too!

You can use this to build your relationship in interesting ways. Take classes together. Join two of your hobbies into one new one. Create your own personal book club.

There are tons of ways to pursue personal development, both with and without your guy.

Qualities in a Good Man: High Emotional Intelligence

Having emotional intelligence means being in touch with your own emotions for sure, but it also means being able to respond positively to someone else’s emotions. A person with high emotional intelligence recognizes emotions and responds appropriately.

Men who have high emotional intelligence form successful relationships, both in their personal and professional lives.

This type of guy is open to expressing and talking about feelings, yours and his. This can be a difficult trait to find in a guy, so if you find one, grab on!

A Good Man is Respectful

Respect means valuing others and treating them kindly, regardless of how well you know them or their social status.

Your guy is kind to elderly people in the grocery store, helps old ladies cross the street, and treats your family the same way he treats his own.

This guy is a great listener who allows someone else to speak their opinion without arguing back. He’s willing to listen, even if he disagrees, and if he speaks his own mind, it’s with kindness and patience, not anger.

Respect also extends to your boundaries. He may have hinted that he wanted sex early in your relationship, but you stood your ground and said it was too soon, and he respected it. In fact, he probably tried harder to win your trust.

Qualities in a Good Man: Vulnerability

Vulnerability is a tough one that many people struggle with. In fact, a man, even a good man, may not want to expose his vulnerabilities to you too soon, and that’s okay.

You must first become someone he can trust with his vulnerability. Society demands that men hide their vulnerabilities, seeing them as signs of weakness.

When someone is vulnerable, they’re open to experiences and emotions. They aren’t afraid to let go of control. Society has it wrong – this isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.

And I may point out that people who find this as a weakness most likely feel threatened by this type of man.

Good Men are Reliable/Dependable

There’s nothing worse than planning a date with a guy, only to have him either forget or show up really late.

Reliable men keep their promises and commitments. If he says he’ll do something, you can count on it.

Reliability goes hand in hand with trust. The more reliable someone is, the more trust someone develops in them. No promise is too light. If he says he’ll be there to help you move, he will, even if he didn’t get any sleep the night before because his dog was sick.

This is truly a good man!

A Good Man Shows Humility

Do you ever get the feeling that you’ll just never see some traits in people again? Humility feels like one of those.

It’s so easy to be successful and want to boast about it, but a person who shows humility doesn’t even go there. Instead, this guy wants to keep pushing to the next thing. Having conquered that thing, it’s time to move on to something new!

A person who shows humility recognizes that his accomplishments often aren’t just his. There was likely a team involved, whether it’s just the two of you, or his team at work, he recognizes that he was just part of the whole success, not the whole.

Good Men Show Compassion

Someone who is compassionate is sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. If you came home from work with a migraine, this guy will do what he can to pick up the slack so you can retreat into a quiet dark room to feel better.

When this guy sees someone who’s struggling, he’ll step in with kindness and do what he can to help the situation.

Qualities in a Good Man: Authenticity

It is very hard in today’s world of social media and high expectations to stay true to yourself, but a man who’s authentic will do just that.

This guy doesn’t do something because he thinks he’ll get one hundred likes on Instagram or Facebook. He does them because that’s his value system.

Someone who shows authenticity also owns his flaws, rather than blame someone else or hide them from the world. This guy understands that mistakes lead to learning and that owning them shows integrity.

Great Men are Also Great Listeners

Many people can talk themselves blue, but few are those who listen well. To listen is to shut off your own I can tell a better story meter and just listen to what’s being said. This guy values silence when someone else is speaking.

He listens intently, formulates great follow-up questions, and doesn’t interrupt the speaker. He shows genuine interest in the conversation and is 100% dialed in.

When you’re talking to someone who is a good listener, he waits to speak and when he does, it’s clear that he was paying attention and has something intelligent to add.

This is a sign of respect for the speaker, a way of making them feel valued and heard. This is like every woman’s dream man! He does exist!

Qualities in a Good Man: Leadership

Leadership isn’t the same as being bossy. A leader respects his team, whether it’s just the two of you, or a group of people at work or in another situation.

This type of person is able to make decisions with his team in mind, consulting the team for input and making the best decision for all involved.

Probably the best quality in a leader is the ability to know when someone else may be able to lead this particular project or situation better. If he finds himself in a situation that he doesn’t know much about, he will seek out the best person to take over.

If your guy is a great leader, he’s interested in having balance in your relationship, respecting you and creating a healthy environment where both of your concerns are addressed.

A Good Man is Ambitious

Having goals and going after them is a great trait in anyone. It shows a desire for personal and professional growth. There is a drive, a motivation to do whatever it takes to achieve the life he wants.

He not only wants the best for himself, but for you too and will encourage you to strive to reach your goals too.

Good Men are Loyal

You’re wondering why it took me so long to mention this, aren’t you? I have no good reason, except to say that none of these traits are more important than others, so I’m doing them in the order they come to me.

A loyal person is someone who stands by the important people in his life. He supports them through thick and thin, showing up even in the most difficult times.

His loyalty creates a deep and meaningful connection between you that fosters trust and a sense of dependability.

Qualities in a Good Man: Self-Discipline

Boy, this one is a tough one for many people. You want to lose 30 pounds but that piece of chocolate cake is calling your name. Self-discipline allows you to let it call while a lack of self-discipline has you marching over to cut a slice.

Many studies have shown that people who go for short term gratification – the slice of cake – are less happy than those who hold out in lieu of their goals – weight loss.

Of course, we all have moments when we lack self-discipline. It’s human nature, but those who have developed a good sense of self-discipline succeed at it more often than they fail.

A person who exhibits self-control shows that he understands life is a marathon and he’s willing to wait for the best things – the things he wants.

He’s exhibiting a tremendous ability to control his urges and know what he wants.

A Good Man Doesn’t Run from His Problems

In fact, one of the qualities in a good man is that he’s a good problem-solver. It’s easy to try to stuff down problems, but someone who is very strong works on solving his problems instead.

Someone who faces his problems head-on realizes that a solution is there somewhere, he just has to dig in and look for it. He’s willing to take on a second job to save up money for that downpayment on a house or eliminate his debt.

This guy goes the extra mile and he’s a keeper!

Good Men are Generous

Generosity doesn’t just indicate financial generosity, although that’s where most minds go. Even more valuable commodities to many people are their time and energy, not to mention kindness.

Someone who values generosity knows that it’s more rewarding to give than it is to receive. This is even more true if the person giving has very little to give themselves but still finds a way.

This type of man is selfless and thinks of others before himself. This is a truly wonderful trait in a man.

Qualities in a God Man: Patience

There’s nothing worse than being around someone with no patience. You feel them constantly looming over you, waiting for you to trip up so they can take over. You don’t do anything quickly enough to suit them.

Patience is a virtue, or so the cliché goes anyway. Patient people still get frustrated at times, but they have emotional intelligence, and they are able to monitor and control their frustration, handling it in a healthy way, rather than an impatient or overbearing way.

A Good Man Builds You Up

People who tear others down are miserable in their own skin, but a man who builds you up is supportive and encourages you to be the best version of yourself.

When you’re finally able to face a big fear, he’s there cheering you on and expressing his pride in your accomplishment. He’s there when you decide to go back to school to get a new degree or boost the one you have. He’s happy to lend a hand where needed to help you achieve your goals.

Great Men Hold Themselves Accountable

There’s nothing worse than being around someone who can’t accept their own role when something goes wrong, especially since they might be blaming it on you instead.

One of the true qualities in a good man is that he holds himself accountable. If there’s a mistake or a misstep, he’s not blaming anyone else if he’s at fault.

This guy understands that to learn from his mistakes and grow as a person, he must first admit the mistake.

This helps establish a level of trust between you because you know that he’s not going to turn on you when the chips are down.

Qualities in a Good Man: Confidence

You had to know this would be on the list if you’ve read anything of mine before now. Confidence for the man and the woman are key elements of any relationship. It’s confidence that allows him to have the other traits listed in this article.

A confident man won’t date a woman who lacks confidence, though, so you must have your confidence boosted up to find this guy.

Many women feel great men are elusive, but the truth is that they’re right there, looking for confident women to date and marry.

Great Relationships Require Excellent Communication!

The final trait I have to share with you today is great communication skills. Many relationships are derailed by poor communication skills. As you read earlier, being a great listener is one of the qualities in a good man.

This is why.

Listening is perhaps the more important half of the communication duo. Yes, you must be able to articulate your feelings into words clearly, but being able to listen attentively is equally important.

Good communicators can avoid arguments with their better skills. They recognize that yelling and screaming isn’t an effective form of communication. Besides, this guy has better control of his emotions than that, so he’s less likely to fly off the handle.

Along with confidence, communication is probably one of the top qualities for both men and women because without either one, your relationship is unlikely to survive.

That’s a Wrap on Qualities in a Good Man

These qualities in a good man aren’t negotiable. Sure, a good man might not exhibit all of them, but he should have most.

Again, this is because above all, he should be confident. Confident men won’t show the opposites of these traits. They’ll embody them.

I mentioned above that women feel good men are hard to find. The truth is that they’re out there, wondering where the good women are. They too have been hoodwinked by women who appear to be confident at first, but turn out to lack confidence, derailing their relationship.

If you’re having trouble finding this guy, step back from the dating scene and work on building your own confidence further. A good man will recognize your confidence and be drawn to you, otherwise, you’re attracting the snoozers and losers.

Who wants that?