Are you wondering how to be more confident around guys you like? Do you want to know what Mr. Right is looking for? These eight confident woman traits will draw the man of your dreams to you!
I know how frustrated you get when you meet the man you perceive to be Mr. Right and then in a few short dates, he ghosts you. You thought everything was going along great but he has disappeared into thin air.
Women always ask me what Mr. Right is looking for in a woman and my answer is always the same – they are looking for a confident woman. Many times, though, when I deliver this answer, they look at me even more perplexed. How does a man define a confident woman? How can a man tell if you’re a confident woman?
The answer, as you will soon discover, is not as scary or complex as you might imagine. After all, men are pretty simple beings. What you need to know is that you draw in people who are most like you. This goes for your friendships and your romantic relationships.
If you’re drawing in guys who are a hot mess, you might need to spend some time cleaning house. You can get a great start by reading the eight confident woman traits I have outlined for you today.
Confident Woman Trait #1: You’re Busy
No confident man wants a beck-and-call girl. This type of girl never has anything going on. She is available for a last minute date because she sits at home all night watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.
I get pushback when I tell a woman she needs to tell a guy she can’t go on a date with him at the last minute. You think you’re sending him a signal that you’re not interested in him. This isn’t true if you handle the invitation properly.
When your schedule is naturally busy, you are able to reply to his last-minute date request with something like this, “I’m sorry, Jon, but I have Yoga tonight. Can we reschedule for Thursday?” Your job is to fill your schedule with activities. This will also help you with the following seven steps!
Confident Woman Trait #2: You’re Interesting
A confident man is drawn to a woman who is interesting. Men love the mystery and challenge of getting to know a woman. The more interesting, and busy your life is, the more intrigued he is and the more he wants to keep dating you.
A confident woman is involved in her community. She is volunteering for causes she believes in. She is active with exercise and has a solid base of trusted female friends. She takes classes to learn new things and has hobbies to keep her busy on snowy winter days.
When you tell a man you spend your Saturday mornings walking dogs at the local shelter and your afternoons learning how to scuba dive for your upcoming trip to Australia, he’s going to be begging to learn more about you!
Confident Woman Trait #3: You Challenge Him With Your Own Opinions
That beck-and-call girl, or rest stop, isn’t challenging to Mr. Right. He might date her for a while, but he never considers her marriage material. She’s the girl he bides his time with.
Men admire it when you have your own opinions about things. Rest stops don’t have opinions. A guy says, “I’m really psyched about the big race next weekend. I think Kyle Bush will take it home!” The rest stop says “Yeah. Me too”. The confident woman, or keeper, says, “Hmm, you’re wrong, Jimmie Johnson can whip his ass any day!”
That’s how to be more confident around guys you like.
Now, you’re off to the races. Even if you don’t give a hoot about NASCAR, you just offered up some friendly banter. Of course, you’ll need to back your opinion but a confident woman has already done this.
Confident Woman Trait #4: You Have Boundaries
If you want to learn how to be more confident around guys you like, then you learn to set boundaries. Women often think they shouldn’t stand up for their boundaries, especially in a new relationship. You don’t want to scare the guy off with rules. The truth is there are many reasons Why Rules and Boundaries Matter In Romantic Relationships.
To appear more confident around guys you like, set and maintain your boundaries. This doesn’t just apply to sex, although that is a big boundary!
If a man is late all the time, doesn’t call when he should, or attempts to sleep with you – there will be consequences. You cannot waver on this. If you do, any respect he had for you will be gone.
Many men will test these boundaries and they will receive no resistance. The next morning, it’s, “Bye! Bye!” You, as a confident woman will show this man the door.
Confident Woman Trait #5: You Are Financially Secure
Money is a big deal to men. It’s how we prove we can provide for our family. To be more confident around men, you need to be financially secure yourself.
This doesn’t mean you need to be rich. It just means you need to be able to pay for your own half of the date or treat a man to a cup of coffee.
Women give me a lot of pushback on this one but it’s true. Ultimately, yes, a man wants to take care of his family and you may be his family some day but for now, he doesn’t want to date a gold-digger.
When you’re out on a date, especially a first or second date, offer to pay your share. If he pays, offer to pick up the next one.
The bonus to having your financials in place? When he looks into your closet and sees 100 pairs of shoes and his jaw drops, you can say:
“I know right? I’m need a pair of Christian Louboutin Mirabella Strappy 100 mm Red Sole Pumps!”
BOOM 👊!! That’s how to be more confident around guys you like!!
Confident Woman Trait #6: You Rarely Get Jealous
A confident woman doesn’t compare herself to other women. Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem, immaturity and insecurity.
With confidence, you know that your uniqueness and inner beauty are enough for any worthy man. You know your strengths and you know how to use them to your advantage.
You wouldn’t be caught out on a date with a man who checks out other women constantly anyway – well, you wouldn’t date him more than once. A guy who does this all the time needs to be shown the door! He is not worthy of you!
Being a confident woman means having self-worth and knowing your value. You have unique gifts and abilities which a great man will be eager to explore! Hitting him with Jealousy Will Destroy Your Relationship.
Confident Woman Trait #7: You Allow A Man To Take Control
As a confident woman, you recognize a man’s desire to provide for you by paying at times, opening the car door for you and helping out in general.
You know allowing a man to feel in control pays off in dividends later in the relationship. Your ego can be set aside in lieu of a man’s.
I understand you’re a strong, confident woman who may be in control at work. Many of the women who email me fit this mold to a “T”. What you need to understand is that if you take control in the relationship too, your guy will feel emasculated. Ultimately, he will leave.
Instead, let him plan some dates or choose what you do on a Friday night sometimes. Allow him to choose which shirt he wears when you go out.
Confident Woman Trait #8: You Have Options
Women often go on a first date with a guy and they’re all in. A confident woman takes a step back, waiting to see if he is worthy of her first!
When you are confident around a man you like, you’re busy and interesting. You don’t fall for the first breathing mammal you meet. You date a couple of men at a time until one surfaces as the winner!
For women who have just started dating after a lengthy relationship, this is an easy trap to fall into! You’re accustomed to having a man in your life and you want to fill that void.
I encourage you to date many men before you settle on one. Date a type of guy you never thought you’d be interested in. Check out what your options are before you settle.
Wrapping Up How To Be More Confident Around Guys You Like
These eight confident woman traits are all great ways to draw in the guy you like. Don’t be concerned if you feel like you don’t have them all! Not many women do!
Many of the women I talk to daily tell me they are very confident at work but feel very low confidence when it comes to their dating life. You are not alone!
One great thing you can do is become Comfortable In Your Own Shoes!
Once you can hit all eight of these, Mr. Right, or possibly multiple Mr. Right’s will be knocking down your door. Good men are drawn to confident women. They can sniff out low confidence as well as they can sniff out pizza and beer.
To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man, and this means how they view confident women!
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.
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