Are you wondering how to be more confident around guys you like? Do you want to know what Mr. Right is looking for? These eight traits will draw the man of your dreams to you!
I know how frustrated you get when you meet the man you believe is your Mr. Right and then in a few short dates, he ghosts you. You thought everything was going along great but he has disappeared into thin air.
Now, you’re emailing me and wondering what happened. Why did he suddenly vanish? The painful truth is he didn’t find you to be the confident woman he desired, he got bored, or he got spooked.
Women always ask what Mr. Right is looking for and my answer is always the same. They’re looking for a confident woman. Many times when I deliver this answer, they’re perplexed. How does a man define a confident woman? How does he know if you’re a confident woman?
The answer isn’t as scary or complex as you imagine. After all, men are pretty simple beings. You draw in people who are most like you. This goes for your friendships and your romantic relationships.
If you’re drawing in guys who are a mess, you need to spend some time cleaning house. Get a great start by reading these eight confident woman traits outlined below.
Confident Woman Trait #1: You’re Busy
No confident man wants a beck-and-call girl. This woman never has anything going on and therefore she’s available for a last minute date. She sits at home all night watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy. Do you want to know how to ask a guy out and get a YES?
I get pushback when I tell women they need to tell a guy they can’t go on a date at the last minute. You think you’re sending him a signal that you’re not interested in him, but this isn’t true if you handle the invitation properly.
When your schedule is naturally busy, you can reply to his last-minute date request with, “I’m sorry, Jon, but I have Yoga tonight. Can we reschedule for Thursday?” Fill your schedule with activities. This will help with the next seven steps!
How to be More Confident Around Guys You Like Trait #2: Be Interesting
An interesting woman draws a confident man because he loves the mystery and challenge of getting to know her. The more interesting and busy your life is, the more intrigued he is and the more he wants to keep dating you.
If you want to know how to be more confident around guys you like, get involved in your community. Volunteer for causes you believe in. Exercise and develop a solid base of trusted female friends. Take classes to learn new things and find hobbies to keep you busy on snowy winter days.
When you tell a man you spend your Saturday mornings walking dogs at the local shelter and your afternoons learning how to scuba dive for your upcoming trip to Australia, he’ll beg to learn more about you!
Confident Woman Trait #3: Challenge Him With Your Own Opinions
That beck-and-call girl, or rest stop, isn’t challenging to Mr. Right. He might date her for a while, but he never considers her marriage material. He bides his time with a woman like this.
Men admire you when you have your own opinions about things. Rest stops don’t have opinions. A guy says, “I’m really psyched about the big race next weekend. I think Kyle Bush will take it home!” The rest stop says “Yeah. Me too”. The confident woman, or keeper, says, “Hmm, you’re wrong, Jimmie Johnson can whip his ass any day!”
That’s how to be more confident around guys you like.
Now, you’re off to the races. Even if you don’t give a hoot about NASCAR, you just offered up some friendly banter. Of course, you’ll need to back your opinion but a confident woman has already done this.
Become More Confident Around Guys You Like
Confident Woman Trait #4: You Have Boundaries
If you want to learn how to be more confident around guys you like, learn to set boundaries. Women often think they shouldn’t stand up for their boundaries, especially in a new relationship. You don’t want to scare the guy off with rules. The truth is there are many reasons Why Rules and Boundaries Matter In Romantic Relationships.
To appear more confident around guys you like, set and maintain boundaries. This doesn’t just apply to sex, although that is a big boundary!
If a man is late all the time, doesn’t call when he should, or attempts to sleep with you, there are consequences. You can’t waver on this because if you do, any respect he had for you will be gone.
Many men will test these boundaries and receive no resistance. The next morning, it’s, “Bye! Bye!” You, as a confident woman will show this man the door.
Confident Woman Trait #5: You Are Financially Secure
Money is a big deal to men. It’s how we provide for our family. Learning how to be more confident around men means becoming financially secure.
You don’t need to be rich but you do need to be able to pay for your own half of the date or treat a man to a cup of coffee.
I get a lot of pushback on this, but it’s true. Yes, a man wants to take care of his family and you may be his family some day, but for now, he doesn’t want to date a gold-digger.
When you’re out on a date, especially a first or second date, offer to pay your share. If he pays, offer to pick up the next one.
The bonus to having your financials in place is that when he looks into your closet and sees 100 pairs of shoes, you can say, “I know right? I still need a pair of Christian Louboutin Mirabella Strappy 100 mm Red Sole Pumps!”
BOOM ?!! That’s how to be more confident around guys you like!!
Confident Woman Trait #6: You Rarely Get Jealous
A confident woman doesn’t compare herself to other women. Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem, immaturity and insecurity.
A confident woman knows her uniqueness and inner beauty are enough for any worthy man. Be aware of your strengths and know how to use them to your advantage.
I know you wouldn’t be caught out on a date with a man who checks out other women constantly. Well, you wouldn’t date him more than once. A guy who does this all the time needs to be shown the door! He is not worthy of you!
Being a confident woman means having self-worth and knowing your value. Great men want to explore your unique gifts and abilities! Jealousy Will Destroy Your Relationship.
Confident Woman Trait #7: You Allow A Man To Take Control
As a confident woman, you recognize a man’s desire to provide for you by paying at times, opening the car door for you and helping out in general.
You know allowing a man to feel in control pays off in dividends later in the relationship. You can set aside your ego in lieu of his.
I understand you’re a strong, confident woman who may be in control at work. Many of the women who email me fit this mold to a “T”. If you take control in the relationship too, your guy may feel emasculated. Ultimately, he will leave, unless you’re dating a beta man.
The Ideal Alpha Female Relationships with Men
Instead, let him plan some dates or choose what you do on a Friday night sometimes. Allow him to choose which shirt he wears when you go out.
Confident Woman Trait #8: You Have Options
Women often go on a first date with a guy and they’re all in. A confident woman takes a step back, waiting to see if he is worthy of her first!
When you are confident around a man you like, you’re busy and interesting. You don’t fall for the first breathing mammal you meet. You date a couple of men at a time until one surfaces as the winner!
For women who have just started dating after a lengthy relationship, this is an easy trap to fall into! You’re accustomed to having a man in your life and you want to fill that void.
Instead, date many men before you settle on one. Date a type of guy you never thought you’d be interested in. Check out what your options are before you settle.
Wrapping Up: How To Be More Confident Around Guys You Like
These eight confident woman traits are all great ways to draw in the guy you like. Don’t be concerned if you feel like you don’t have them all! Not many women do!
Many of the women I talk to tell me they are very confident at work but feel very low confidence when it comes to their dating life. You are not alone!
When you hit all eight of these, Mr. Right, or possibly multiple Mr. Right’s will knock down your door. Confident women draw great men. They can sniff out low confidence as well as they can sniff out pizza and beer.
Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.
