It’s an age-old question – what makes a guy pull away from what seems to be a great relationship? Here is some insight about why your guy may have a fear of commitment, and how NOT to lose a guy, from guest contributor, Tiffany.
Things may start off hot and heavy, he may genuinely seem into you. You spend more and more time together, and then…things get real. The fact is REAL feelings scare some guys.
The thought of being with one woman for the rest of his life starts to stir and he goes into panic mode. His bachelorhood is threatened and he begins to worry about losing all his freedom, all his friends, and all his money. He most likely want’s a commitment, he just doesn’t know it yet. It’s up to you to ease his fears and neutralize the situation before he pulls away. What can you do?
- Keep your own social network
- Encourage him to make time for his own friends
- Offer to pay for your own meal or pick up the tab once in a while
- Don’t smother him
You never want to chase a guy, and you should never focus all your energy on him. Instead, focus on yourself and pursue your own interests outside of the relationship, and let him chase you. I’m not saying don’t put effort into the relationship. Enjoy your time together, be there for him when it counts, but give him some space when he needs it.
Understand How Men Love
In To Date a man, You Must Understand a Man, dating coach, Gregg Michaelsen tells us men and women express love in different ways. Women ooze love and wear our hearts on the outside. He isn’t, nor can you force him to be, the same way. It’s not in his nature.
Once you understand how a man loves – once you understand the difference – you will no longer worry about the relationship and whether or not he wants to be with you.
When women worry, we go into a panic mode of our own. We become more emotional and more needy, which only causes a greater divide. Pushing him to say he loves you ten times a day may only push him further away. Instead, let him show you his love.
Does he want to please you? Not just in the bedroom, but with little things, like bringing you coffee in the morning, or offering to fix the leg on your antique kitchen table? Is he protective of you? Is he generous and thoughtful? Has he introduced you to his friends or family?
Chivalry can be faked, but these things cannot. These things tell you he loves you and that he wants you to be a part of his life.
Stop the Smothering
Have you seen the movie, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days? Kate Hudson’s character is a magazine writer who purposefully does everything in her power to drive Matthew McConaughey away using the classic mistakes women make for the sake of a good article. We all know they are perfect together, and by the time she realizes it, he’s already running in the opposite direction.
We want to yell at the screen, and tell her to stop acting so obviously crazy before it’s too late, while we are probably guilty of some of the same offenses and we just can’t see it.
Sure, it’s just a fictional story, a romantic comedy that thankfully has a happy ending, but if we want our own happy ending, we need to stop the smothering. If you come on too strong too fast, acting overly possessive and overly sensitive, don’t be surprised if your guy pulls away. Think like a guy and play it cool. And let him miss you once in a while.
The Sex Factor
Things may be hot and heavy at first, but one day things go from sex to making love, and he may start to wonder, is she the one? Sadly, guys are wired to want to spread their seed with as many women as possible.
The thought of never “doing it” with another woman besides you may freak him out — at first. Help him get past his fears by making him want to have sex with only you. Show him your wild side by mixing things up one night, and then make him wait a few days. He will only want you more.
Remember to keep cool and confident in the face of any setbacks. When he realizes he really loves you, he’ll stop being spooked by commitment and he may even ask you to be his wife. The fear of not sharing his life with you will be way scarier than his insecurities. You just need to play your cards right.
To Date a Man, You MUST Understand a Man. It just makes sense, right? I’ve made it easy for you to buy – all you need to do is click here or click the cover to the right. In just a couple of hours, you can begin to change your relationships with men! Now THAT’s exciting!
Do you have a question for Gregg? Visit top dating coach, Gregg Michaelsen, and ask one question for just $25! That’s right, you can get an answer to the pesky situation you are in without full-price coaching! It’s quick, it’s private, and can help get your relationship back on its feet in no time. Gregg will personally answer your questions within 24 hours (sometimes sooner) and will provide one follow up question for clarification.