WANTED: Attractive girl willing to be mother/martyr to a jobless jerk with junker car and no interest in changing my bad habits. Don’t clean, don’t cook, don’t care – just kicked out of my mother’s house and need to find a home for me and my basement full of Star Wars collectibles. Willing to tattoo your name to my list of “I love ____” on my biceps but draw the line at actual commitment beyond being able to use your credit cards. Allergic to your pets and friends but you’ll have plenty of company taking care of mine when you’re not fulfilling my sexual fantasies or cleaning up after me. Text me at XXXX and I’ll tell you when and where to pick me up.
Is this an ad from the man of your dreams? If the guy you’re with wrote an honest ad, would this be how it read? I know most of my books talk about how to get a guy, keep a guy, or get him back, but there are times when you need to know when to get rid of him.
Just because you’re with him – or want to be – doesn’t mean you should. I hear from so many women who are carrying all the weight of their relationship, and if they let go, there wouldn’t be one. If you are lonely, tired, and your best day was before you got into this relationship, take yourself out to a cool coffee or tea bar with this list of questions.
But first, the non-negotiables: addictive, angry, or abusive guys have no business being part of your long-term plans. You’ll want professional help in getting rid of him though, because they won’t let go of someone who enables their bad behavior without a fight.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Is he meeting my needs? Does he even know (or care) what they are?
- Does he treat me with respect, or am I the “old ball and chain”?
- Does he like my friends? Do they like him? Do I like his? Does he even have any?
- If there’s a conflict with his family or friends, does he ever take my side or is it always them?
- Does he remember important dates? Does he remember with flowers or a heavy sigh and tales of when he was single and happy?
- Can he laugh at himself? Can I laugh at him? Do we ever laugh together?
- Do our goals align? Kids? College? Career? City condo or country house?
- Do we have the same views on handling money?
- When we don’t agree on something, can we work out a compromise that we can both live with, or am I usually expected to give in?
- Are our religions compatible?
- Do I trust him? How does he drive when I’m in the car?
- If we’re at a restaurant and the food arrives cold, how does he handle it?
If you’re getting a whole bunch of no’s, then tune in to my next article for how and where to say see you later, sayonara, chow baby, I’m outta here. Also, read my best seller, Weed Out The Losers, The Couch Potatoes and The Losers today!
