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Going on a First Date? 3 Keys to Eliminating the Stress

women are their own worst enemies

Written ByGregg Michaelsen

Gregg grew up just as many others – in a dysfunctional, but loving family. After going through years of failed relationships, he set out to decode dating for women by interviewing happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.

Going on a first date is kind of a big deal! Will I like him? How about his personality? Will it go well or be a complete waste of time? What will we talk about? And most importantly, what will I wear?! For most, first dates are very stressful, but if you follow these tips, you could have fun on a first date instead! Today, I’ve got some things for you to take to heart before your next first date.

Getting to know someone new, especially someone you are attracted to, can be a daunting task! You keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best. You pray this first date will be better than your last date, which was just crappy. But, having the right frame of mind going into it can make a huge difference in how the date goes, weather he’s a keeper or another dud. Let’s review a few tips which will start your date off on the right foot — whether you decide to wear flats, or stilettos!

Key #1: Take the Pressure Off

If you are like most women, you stress about a first date for days. When it’s finally time to start getting ready, you get serious jitters. In his relationship advice, Gregg always body language says just as much as words, so be careful not to let nerves get the better of you. Confidence is attractive! Good conversation will flow naturally if you are comfortable. A genuine smile right off the bat always helps make a good first impression.

Even if he’s not “the one” for you, you can still have a great time and maybe make a new friend. When you take the pressure to impress off the table, things will go more smoothly for everyone. Remember, he’s in the same first date boat as you! If he feels at ease around you, he may just fall in love with you!

Key #2: Be Your Authentic Self

When going on a first date, and in life, it’s important to be your authentic self.

  • Don’t change your personality or the way you dress because you think it will impress a guy
  • Don’t say you love skydiving as much as he does if you’re afraid of heights
  • Don’t show up in a sexy dress covered in bling if you’re a jeans and cute t-shirts kind of girl
  • Wear something comfortable something which best represents your own personal style

Let him get to know the real you, your interests, your likes and dislikes, even if they are different from his. How will you know if you are a good fit for each other if you are not honest from the get-go? It’s like false advertising. In the end, you will both be disappointed.

Key #3: Have the Right Mindset

Stop wondering if he could be “the one”. Don’t immediately consider whether or not you see yourself myself marrying this guy. Start focusing on how nice it is to get to know someone new and leave it at that. This is a first date and there is no rush, so ditch the checklist and keep an open mind. You might be pleasantly surprised to see sparks flying as you learn more about him, even if he doesn’t initially fit the mold you’ve created in your mind for the perfect man. Maybe you will never see this person again, and that’s okay too. At the least, you will walk away knowing a little more about yourself and what you want and don’t want. Going on a first date with a positive mindset means it won’t matter if it things don’t work out, and you won’t leave feeling discouraged.

First dates can actually be fun instead of stressful! Leave all your terrible first dates in the past, and take these three keys to heart going forward. Even if he’s not Mr. Right, when the next first date opportunity presents itself, go for it again!  Maybe this time the first date will lead to a second, or a goodnight kiss, or maybe even happily ever after!

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