5 Signs you’re Ready for a Relationship
There are many reasons you may be ready for a relationship – or not. Age, recent relationship failures, abuse or a host of other things in your past may be playing a role.
Unfortunately, due to some basic urges and needs we all have, we never consider this question before we enter into a new relationship. The sad thing is that you could find Mr. Right, but you’re Ms. Wrong because you’re just not ready.
It’s Kirbie today and in this three-part series, we’re going to examine whether or not you’re ready for a relationship. Next week, we will look at whether or not he is ready.
I’ll give you some subtle things you can look for to help you figure it out. Finally, we’ll wrap it up with some tips on getting yourself ready for a relationship.
You’ve Given up the Party Every Night Lifestyle
Having fun is great – in fact, it’s essential to take time to have fun. The problem is when you party too much or too often. Regardless of your age, you should not be partying to a point where you don’t remember how you got home.
Nor, should you be spending every waking hour partying. Going to a bar once in a while to hang out with your friends or inviting them over for a glass of wine is fine. Having the bartender know your favorite beer and how many to have ready for you per hour is a problem.
You Have Direction
In order to be ready for a relationship, you need to be able to face life head-on and have some goals. What career path are you following or planning to follow? Where do you want to live? What type of home do you want to have? Do you want to travel? Do you want children? Are you even ready to move in with a guy?
If you’re older, do you want to date someone with younger children, or have more children with a new guy? Do you want to relocate? You need to know all of these things in order to know what type of man you should target.
You Have Your Act Together
Gregg talks about this a lot in his dating advice best seller, To Date a Man, You Must Understand Yourself, so I won’t drone on about it because you’ve surely already read it. Having your act together means you not only have direction, but you have a life of your own.
You have found some things you enjoy doing, and you have friends with whom you do them. You are living within your means and either have, or are building a solid financial base for yourself.
This also means that you know what your values are. You have an opinion about things like spirituality, politics, work ethics, money, how you treat others, and a host of other things.
Again, these things will help you figure out what type of man you should be pursuing because his value system will be very similar to yours.
You Value the Opinions of Others
When you are a confident woman who is ready for a relationship, you have the ability to not only hear the opinions of others, but to value their side, whether or not you agree. This is also important because it means you have world experiences that have provided you with those opinions.
Nothing turns a guy off faster than for you to giggle and say “Gee, I dunno” when he says “What do you think of [insert random topic here]”. I’m not telling you that you need to become some sort of information savant, I’m saying stay tuned into things going on around you.
Think about things you hear about in the news and form an educated opinion. Take an interest in life.
For example, even if you don’t like football, you can still say something intelligent. He may ask, “What did you think of that Patriots win last weekend?” Now, if I were to be asked that question, I’d say something like “Well, it was better to watch that than the awful beating my Steelers took!”
BAM. BUT, I’m a huge sports fan, let’s get back to you – and you’re not so saying something like “Well, I didn’t see the game myself, but I saw the score – impressive!” will at least keep you out of trouble. I mean, come on-you can see that stuff on Facebook!
After you feed him a happy sports tidbit, steer the conversation to something you can speak more about, like “I saw a great piece on hiking in the Smokey’s last week. Do you enjoy hiking?”
You Put the Interests of Others before Your Own
This is a biggie. Too many people in relationships are only looking out for themselves. It’s immature, and it screams, “I lack confidence”. If you’re in a great relationship, you’re always looking out for one another. You’ve got his back and he has yours.
I’m not saying you need to dote on him day and night – so don’t take my words in that way. You then run the risk of making him your hobby, and, again – you’ve read Gregg’s books, so you already know this is a no-no.
Here’s an example: you let him go golfing with his buddies on a Saturday morning, rather than whine about the lawn needing to be mowed. Take that time and do something you enjoy.
If you really want to drive him nuts, head out just before he is due to leave, wearing an outfit he has admired in the past, and say something like “See ya when you get home, Honey. I’m going to spend the morning with Victoria looking for a new gym to join.”
He’ll be home from golf as soon as the game is over, and he’ll be wondering all morning what you’re up to. He’ll also be pretty likely to get that lawn mowed before the weekend ends (and isn’t that what you wanted him to do in the first place?).
Here are a few more signs you are ready:
- You’re not always trying to ‘fix’ him
- You understand the importance of communication
- Nobody needs to ‘complete’ you
- You understand what has caused your past relationships to fail
- You’re worthy of a good man
- Your main goal in life every day is to avoid, not stir up, drama
In part 2 of this series, we will examine how to determine whether or not your guy is ready for a relationship, without being obvious about it.