I encourage my readers to contact me by providing my email in each of my books. Because of that, I get dozens of emails every day and at least a one of those emails will be from a woman who asks me how to tell if a guy likes you. It’s like a big mystery to them, trying to figure out the “guy signs he likes you.”
The truth is that men give out gigantic clues, but you are looking in all the wrong places! You’re looking for “female clues” to tell you if a guy likes you. This is your first and biggest mistake!
Guys throw out guy clues and maybe the clues aren’t that gigantic, but they are gigantic in male terms. Read more about how Men Love in Different Ways.
You’re looking for things like whether or not he gives you flowers or if he brings you chocolate on your birthday. You consider it a big milestone when he invites you to meet his family. All you want is for him to sing you a song and tell you how he feels from that guitar he plays so well!
None of that is going to happen. You won’t see most of the milestones or signs you’re looking for. I’ll be the first to admit, men are clueless about these milestones. Now, let me tell you what signals a guy will send if he likes you.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #1: He’s a Nervous Wreck
Women fall for the guy who delivers lines smoothly, is polished and says all the right things. While this guy may seem to be Mr. Right, this is part of the definition of what I call a wet kitten, user or player.
The quality guy who will stick around is not polished or smooth. He’s nervous as heck-just like you!
Like you, he fears rejection! In this Verily article, Guys Tell us What Keeps Them From Asking You Out, learn more reasons why great guys are afraid to approach.
You can tell he likes you if he stumbles a bit in the beginning. Too many women reject a man who is nervous for the guy who is smooth, thanks to chick flicks! Are You Dating a Loser?
Signal #2: His Car is Clean
If a man likes a woman, he prepares for her!
His kitchen is clean, his car is washed and vacuumed and his shirt is freshly pressed. He has identified where you’re going for dinner and he’s driven by, just to be sure he won’t get lost.
When I was younger, I would practice pronouncing the names of different wines before a date. I was clueless about wine. I’m the guy who pronounced the “s” in “Chablis.” 😝
If a guy likes you, he will be prepared in other ways. Marie Claire shares more ways a man gets ready for a date with you.
A player might initially make this effort so he can impress you, especially if his car is an expensive model so don’t let this one signal tell you he likes you.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #3: His Body Language Says So
It is crucial to understand male body language! To help you, I am offering you my eGuide, 80 Ways to Read a Man!
Cues like these help! Does He:
- Leans toward you during your conversations
- Smiles at you a lot
- Gazes into your eyes
- Touches you, appropriately
- Synchronizes movements with yours (Read Night Moves: The Science of Making Him Fall in Love with You for more)
- Sits close to you
- Acts as if you are the only woman in the room
- Is chivalrous
Since 90% of all communication happens without words, you now have an advantage in knowing whether a guy likes you or not!
Think of body language like a stop light. Five or more cues = go! One or two = proceed with caution. Zero = STOP and get out before it’s too late!
Signs He Likes You through Texting: Signal #4
From birth, men and women communicate differently. While women are verbal, men aren’t. This includes texting! If a guy texts you more than you text him, he likes you!
If he double texts you, triple texts you or texts you to say “Hi” early in the morning, he’s sending a signal that he likes you!
Does that mean you get sucked in and do the same? No! My #1 best seller, Power Texting Men teaches you how to respond!
Women tend to send a barrage of texts which causes a men to roll their eyes back in their heads and shut off their phones.
By backing off, you can “read and gauge” if this guy likes you or not.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #5: He Socially Announces You to the World
Another signal a guy likes you is when he socially announces you. Equally telling is if you’re noticeably absent on his social media pages. A guy who is into you will post photos of you two together.
The male ego is a powerful thing! If I am dating you and I like you, I’m showing you off to my friends like you’re the furry prize I just won! If I don’t, I’m either hiding something or your days are numbered.
Today’s online climate is always changing but you can uncover great clues and insight into a man’s intentions, based on his actions. If he reaches out to connect with you on social media, he wants learn more about you. You can bet that he’s looking at your friends and pictures to do so.
Signal #6: He Gets Jealous
A little jealously is okay. Men are competitive creatures, so we fight for what we want. In fact, nothing worth having comes without a fight.
When your guy sees another man approach you and strike up a conversation, this, in his mind, is another man trying to pick you up. He will respond accordingly – if he’s into you.
He’ll do this with a crystal clear statement that informs the other guy you are with him. Then, job complete, he will change his mood and concentrate back on you.
You can test your man around other men, carefully. If you see he gets a little hot and bothered, he probably likes you – as long as his reaction doesn’t go over the top.
Here is a great article on healthy versus unhealthy jealousy in relationships.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #7: He Asks Questions
When a guy likes you, he wants to know all about you. He wants to determine if the two of you are a good fit. This signal ranks higher than many of the others because most men just want to talk about themselves when they’re out with a woman.
A guy who asks questions is looking into the future to see if you share similar beliefs, goals and values. It’s at this point your confidence and your story begin to shine through and intrigue him even further!
Write a great story for your life. Shore up your story with experiences and activities. Get involved in things, develop passions about things and dig into hobbies and activities you truly enjoy. When you have a story, you become mysterious. No guy can resist a confident, mysterious woman!
Signs He Likes You Signal #8: He Treats You Well Around His Friends
When you meet a guy’s friends, you can learn a lot about him, based on how they treat him. What could be even more telling, however, is how he treats you around his friends.
If he is into you, he will want to show you off to his friends. When you’re all hanging out together, he will treat you with respect. If there is a disagreement or friendly banter, he will take your side.
A guy who likes you won’t leave you standing alone, off to the side. He will either include you in his conversation or introduce you to some of the other women so you can get to know them.
Even better, you can tell if a guy likes you by How His Friends Treat You When They Know You’re The One.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #9: His Mom Shares All – And I Mean ALL!
My mom lets it all hang out with the girls I have dated! And I mean all!
If you want to know if a guy likes you, get to know his mom. Mom’s leak top secret information more than the FBI! If he’s been talking about you, mom will let you know.
When she determines you’re the right girl for her son, she’ll put him in awkward situations. This is a good thing! She isn’t testing him, she’s testing you! Hopefully, you’ve got the confidence to handle his mom.
Watch his interactions with his mom and family. Observe how he fits in. Transfer his actions with his family into to how he’s going to treat you. If he shows love to his mom and is showing love to you, he likes you. He won’t fake it around mom.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #10: He Remembers Important Information About You
Women generally think men aren’t paying attention and, for the most part, we’re not. We’re notorious for not remembering important dates and information. The main cause of this problem is that we’re usually too busy talking about ourselves.
If the guy you are dating remembers your mom’s name and your dog’s favorite treat – guess what? He likes you!
I remember coming home from a date with a woman I really liked and writing down as many things as I could remember about her on an index card.
I knew that she would be impressed with me on the next date. The next time we got together, I was able to share with her how into her I was by remembering small details she had shared.
Read more about How To Tell If A Guy Cares About You.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You #11: He Changes his Behavior
A man will change when he likes you. He wants to impress you so he does things differently. If his apartment is a normally a mess, he’ll clean it. If he swears a lot, he might stop completely.
Some of his changes will be intentional and others can be detected through is body language. Synchronization, which we talked about above, is a behavioral change which subconsciously occurs. He will start mirroring your movements and actions.
Eventually, he may even dress similarly to you. No, not dresses and skirts but if you’re wearing a grey sweatshirt and jeans on a hike, he may also. If you wear a lot of green, he may start wearing more green.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #12: He Teases You In A Nice Way
When a guy teases you in a nice way with witty jabs, he’s telling you he likes you! For men, teasing a woman is an extension of how they treated girls in their youth. It’s a form of flirting.
Guys are action oriented. A boy will tease a girl he likes, showering her with attention but often making her cry. This isn’t his intention. He’s treating her like he treats other boys he likes.
I made girl cry once by punching her in the shoulder. I thought she would laugh and come back at me like a boy would, but instead, she cried.
As an adult, I might set myself up to get teased back by saying, “Have you ever met a more handsome guy?” and then let her explode on me!
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #13: He Helps You When There is Zero Chance of Having Sex
A player has one thing in mind –sex. A guy who likes you wants to help you and fix things in your life. He will do things with you so he can spend time with you, not to have sex with you.
A great way to determine if he likes you is to try Four Test Dates To Determine If He’s A Keeper.
A guy who likes you will help move you into your new apartment, sit with you when you’re sick or even mow your lawn or fix your lawn mower. He isn’t doing these things to get sex out of you. He’s doing them because he likes you.
In fact, men will rarely say “I love you” but if he offers to fix your leaky kitchen sink, he may be saying just that!
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You Signal #14: He Makes Plans With You
When a guy is into you, he will begin planning the next date while you’re on the current date.
He does this by asking what you like to do and where you like to go. There is no way he is going to leave getting another date with you to chance by waiting three days to text you – no way!
He may purchase tickets for a concert or game while you’re together, just to prove he’s serious.
He will include you in his social events even when he knows you won’t know anyone. This gives him a chance to shine and show you off. He gets to protect you from the evil of the outside world. A man who likes a woman wants to have the “us against the world” thing going on.
Signs He Likes You Signal #15: Your Dog Likes Him
I truly believe dogs and cats provide insight on whether or not a guy likes you, especially if he’s not an animal person to begin with. Of course, I have to ask why you would ever date such a person!
You can tell if a guy likes you when he walks your dog and offers to pick up the poo. What guy would do that for a girl he doesn’t like?
On the other hand, if Fido is cowering in the corner, this guy doesn’t give a crap about you or your best friend and you need to dump him. Animals have a keener sense of human nature for sure. We can learn a lot from a dog who growls at someone while showing his teeth!
My cat hated my ex. I should have known.
Bonus Signal for How to Tell if a Guy Likes You: The Signals Above Continue After You’ve Had Sex!
This could be the most important sign of all. Once a man proves himself to you and you allow him to have sex with you, a man who likes you will continue to do the things above or may even do more of them.
If, on the other hand, you see these signals slowing down or going away, he’s not into you and you need to dump him.
This is one big reason why I always encourage women to hold off having sex with a guy. You can’t tell what type of man he truly is if you have sex with him on the first date. You lose the ability to put him through the test dates or truly determine his intentions.
I call this Dating With Your Head, Not With Your Heart.
I’ve given you 16 great signals to determine if a guy is into you or not. While no man will show all 16 in the first few weeks of dating, a good guy will slowly work his way through a good portion of this list.
You shouldn’t even think about allowing him to have sex with you until you see at least three of the signs he likes you on this list! Once you see him beginning to tick off the items I’ve listed here, he’s probably a good fish and you should keep him for a while longer.
As a woman, you’re into milestones. The first time he holds your hand. Your first kiss. The much anticipated invitation to meet the parents. I could go on and on.
Men don’t operate this way. Men take much longer to fall in love than women do. For quite a while in the beginning stages of the dating process, men are having fun just learning about you and what makes you tick.
Still, men do give you huge clues, as you can see from my list and now you know what to truly be looking out for.
For men, these early stages of dating are more of a game. A man wants to keep you guessing while still wooing you and making you fall in love with him. It seems like a cruel trick but that’s how the male mind works.
So much, for a man, is gauged on how you react to him. How do you react to his teasing? Do you tease him back or get emotional and offended at the slightest thing? If he fixes your leaky sink, do you show your appreciation with a batch of his favorite cookies or do you complain that he mowed over your petunias?
It makes me sad to read the high volume of emails I get from women who never saw these signals, never understood how to tell if a man likes her. They dump guys who are throwing out big signals that they’re into them, simply due to a lack of understanding.
While I try to encourage my male counterparts to be more direct, I can’t change the world. The truth is women are more likely to respond to my words than men are. We tend to think we don’t need help with women. Of course, I’m trying to change this too! One day at a time, one woman at a time is all I can do!
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.
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