Gregg help! You want to know how to tell if a guy likes you, right? You want to see signs he likes you, and you spend sleepless nights asking, “Does he like me?”
I love receiving emails from you! It brightens my day, even though they’re usually coming from women in distress, like this one:
“Gregg, Help! I like this guy. We’ve been on two dates, and we get along well, but I still don’t know how to tell if he likes me.”
You’re about to gain insight into how the male mind works, which is much different than how your mind works.
Naturally, since you’re a woman, your mind works like a female mind, but the male mind works differently. Men are less verbal and more action-oriented, while women are more verbal and expect their men to be equally verbal.
More than one conflict has occurred because of this fundamental difference. When you ask a guy, “What are you thinking?” and he says, “Nothing,” you assume he’s lying, but the truth is he’s probably thinking about nothing. He’s zoned out, relaxing or listening to the television.
Because of these discrepancies, trying to see signs he likes you can be frustrating. You’re even more annoyed when you ask your friends, “Does he like me?” and they shrug their shoulders.
To alleviate your anxiety today, I’ve prepared fifteen different ways to tell if a guy likes you.
Don’t Fall Into the Milestone Trap
One of the biggest mistakes women make is looking for and tallying milestones. Let me say this as clearly as I can: Men do not know about or understand milestones.
What is a milestone?
He held my hand! Milestone.
He kissed me! Milestone.
He invited me to meet his parents—a big milestone.
We slept together. Milestone.
He wants to take a vacation together. Milestone.
You consider each one of those actions a step closer to the alter or at least a step closer to a long-term relationship.
The truth is that these actions don’t mean a thing to a man. He held your hand because the urge struck him, not because he felt one step closer to wanting to marry you.
He kissed you because he was overcome by the desire to do so and he invited you to meet his parents because his mom keeps saying, “Why don’t you ever bring any of the women you’re dating around?”
Men date to have fun. They enjoy getting to know you and uncovering the many layers of who you are. A man would rather go white water rafting than sit in a stuffy restaurant for a date. He would rather take a walk through a park than be forced to make conversation where a dozen other people can hear.
Instead of searching for milestones to know how to tell if a guy likes you, look for these fifteen tell-tale signs.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You | He’s a Nervous Wreck
When a man approaches you and delivers a smooth line, you’re immediately enamored, but the truth is this guy is probably a player who has practiced that line hundreds of times. He has his approach and lines down to a science.
The quality guy who will stick around is not polished or smooth. He doesn’t have a set of canned lines and is less likely to approach with such confidence.
Instead, he’s probably a nervous wreck for a few reasons. First, he doesn’t want to get shot down by a woman in front of his friends. Therefore, he may approach you while one or more of them have stepped away to play pool or get another drink.
Secondly, he’s afraid you will ignore or send him away without much consideration. Men fear rejection too!
Next, he may be shy and anxious about approaching. He may sit there for an hour or more perfecting his approach in his head, yet when he starts moving in your direction, all his preparation flies away.
There are other reasons, which you can find here: Guys Tell us What Keeps Them From Asking You Out.
Watch for the guy who fumbles his lines and seems to be sweating like crazy. Root for him and be patient with him. If he’s summoned the courage to approach, he’s interested! He’s set aside his fears of rejection in front of his friends to talk to you.
Does He Like Me? | He Prepares for Your Dates
When a man likes a woman, he prepares for your dates. His grooming is spot-on; his car is clean, and he’s wearing a clean, unwrinkled shirt and pants.
He knows where you’re going for dinner, and if it’s new to him, he has a route mapped out on his phone, so he doesn’t get lost.
When I was younger, I’d practice pronouncing the names of different wines before a special date. I didn’t know a thing about wine, but I knew it was important for some women I dated.
What Are His Pre-Date Primping Habits?
As a word of caution, a player will prepare too, so as one of the signs he likes you, this one doesn’t stand alone. Combine it with others to be sure.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You | His Body Language Tells You
Understanding male body language is essential, so please download this guide, 80 Ways to Read a Man!
Look for these body language signs. Does he:
- Lean toward you during your conversations
- Smile at you a lot
- Gaze into your eyes
- Touch you, appropriately
- Synchronize movements with yours
- Sit close to you
- Act as if you are the only woman in the room
- Behave in a chivalrous way toward you or other women
Nearly ninety percent of communication occurs without words, so download the guide above to be prepared.
I like to think of body language as a traffic light:
- Five or more signs he likes you, green light, go forward
- One or two signs, amber light, proceed with caution
- No signs, red light, stop before it’s too late
The Signs He Likes You Are in His Texts
Men and women communicate differently. Little boys playing together grunt at one another, using few words. They crash their trucks and try to one-up the other boy.
Girls play to build relationships, using conversation to shore up relationships from an early age.
These communication differences don’t change as we age. If you’ve ever been annoyed by a man’s one- or two-word text, you understand.
Communication issues are one of the biggest causes of breakups, and it’s no wonder since the two sexes communicate so differently.
He doesn’t understand your need to talk, and you get frustrated by his lack of desire to do so.
These communication problems extend to texting, and that’s why you can use his texting to determine his level of interest.
A guy who texts you more than you text him is into you. Other texting signs include:
- Double and triple texting
- Texting “Hi” or something similar early in the morning
- Replying faster to your texts
BUT here’s the thing. You can’t do the same back. Your inclination to send a barrage of texts only causes him to roll his eyes and ignore you. If you back off, you’re communicating with him as his friends do.
He can work with this. It’s familiar.
Send shorter texts. Take as long to reply to him as he does to reply to you unless something is time-sensitive. If he takes two hours to respond, wait two hours to reply. It’ll kill you to wait but trust me.
Does He Like Me? He Does if He Socially Announces You
Socially announcing someone occurs when you introduce someone to your friends and family, both on social media and in person.
If you’ve been dating for a while, you should be appearing on his social media pages at least once in a while. If he’s into you, he’ll post photos of the two of you.
This is an ego thing for a guy. If he’s dating you and likes you, he wants to show you off like you’re the furry prize on the top shelf.
The exception to this rule is a man who doesn’t use social media much. In that instance, he will be excited to show your relationship off to his friends in person.
If he reaches out to connect with you on social media, he wants to learn more about you. It’s a sure bet he’s checking out your photos and friends. If you find this is true, don’t hesitate!
Signs He Likes You | He Gets Jealous
There are two kinds of jealousy – healthy and unhealthy. A little jealousy in a relationship is okay. Men are competitive creatures who fight for what they want.
Therefore, when a guy sees another approaching his girl to strike up a conversation, he automatically assumes the new guy is trying to pick her up. If he’s into you, he’ll respond accordingly by making it clear you’re together. With that task complete, he’ll change his mood and focus more on you.
You can test your guy around other men but be careful! You could be stirring a hornet’s nest if he gets too upset and bothered.
He probably likes you, but you need to ensure this isn’t a repeated reaction.
What Is Normal Jealousy Versus Obsessive Jealousy?
Does He Like Me? | He Does if He Asks Questions
A man who’s into you wants to get to know you better, and one way to accomplish this is to ask questions. He’s trying to determine if the two of you are a good fit.
This is a positive sign because many men just want to talk about themselves, so if he asks about you, his interest is genuine. A guy who asks questions is looking into the future to see if you share similar beliefs, goals, and values.
This is when your confidence and story begin to help your relationship along. A great man will be attracted to you if you’re a confident woman, but he will also be intrigued by your story.
Your story is the collection of events in your life that have made you the woman you are today. This doesn’t mean you give him every moment of your life, but you share tidbits from time to time that helps him learn more about you.
Your job is not to divulge too much at once. If he seems to be endlessly peppering you with questions, switch gears and ask him some questions. The more you spread out sharing your story, the longer he’ll be intrigued by you!
If you’re worried about your story, get out and do things. Have adventures. Face fears—Chase after a hobby or two. Get passionate about something. Work out and improve yourself by taking classes.
He’ll love it all!
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You | He Treats You Well Around His Friends
You can learn a lot about a man by hanging out with him and his friends. There are two bits of information you can get.
The first is how he treats you around his friends. If he’s into you, he’ll treat you with respect and accept nothing less from them.
If there’s a disagreement, he’ll side with you. He won’t leave you standing alone but will include you in his conversations or introduce you to people you may like so you can get to know them.
How His Friends Treat You When They Know You’re The One
The other piece of knowledge you can gain from hanging out with his friends is how they treat him. When his friends pretty much ignore him, something is off. If these guys like him, they’ll be joking around, slapping one another on the back, and behaving as guys do.
Signs He Likes You | His Mom Shares All – And I Mean ALL!
If he and his mom have a good relationship, his mother will share every embarrassing detail about him with you.
One of the most significant signs he likes you is when his mother leaks all his top-secret information to you. Every embarrassing moment from his childhood is laid open for your amusement.
She’ll put him in awkward situations when she decides you’re the right woman for her son. She doesn’t do this to test him; she does it to test you!
Hopefully, you have the confidence to handle mom!
How A Man Treats His Mother Tells You Everything You Need to Know
When you hang out with his family, note how they treat him and vice versa. For most men, how they treat their mothers is an excellent indicator of how they’ll treat you.
If he’s a slacker in disguise, his family may attempt to warn you. Don’t dismiss this. It means they like you but know his track record.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You | He Remembers Important Information About You
It’s not just fodder for comedians; men are presumed to forget the important details like important dates and other information.
When a guy remembers your mom’s name, Fido’s favorite treats, and what you did on your first date, it’s because he’s into you.
I remember coming home from a date with a woman I really liked and writing down as many things I could remember on an index card. When I saw her next, I wanted to impress her with these tidbits of information.
How To Tell If A Guy Cares About You
Does He Like Me? He Does if He Changes his Behavior
If a guy is into you, he’ll change bad behaviors to impress you. He’ll straighten his apartment before you come over if he’s ordinarily messy. If he swears a lot, he’ll stop or at least cut back significantly.
Some of these changes will be obvious, while others will show up in his body language. One way this will show is in synchronization. It’s a subconscious change but a change nonetheless.
Synchronization involves mirroring body movements. If you cross your legs, he will too.
Pay attention to couples who’ve been together for a long time. They often inadvertently dress alike, wearing grey sweatshirts and jeans for a walk or the same color shirt when they go out.
Insane Ways Guys Change Their Behavior Around Women, According to Science
Signs He Likes You | He Teases You in a Nice Way
If your guy teases you with witty jabs, he’s sending signs that he likes you. This is an extension of how he treated girls when he was young. It’s a form of flirting.
Guys are action-oriented from birth, so as little boys, they tease girls they like. While they’ll unintentionally make a girl cry sometimes, they mean no harm. They’re simply treating girls they like as they treat their buddies.
You can probably look back on your school days to when you came home crying about a boy teasing you, and what did your mother say? I bet she said, “Jenny, that boy likes you,” and you said something like, “MOM! No way!”
Yes, way!
I made a girl cry once by punching her in the shoulder. I thought she’d laugh at me and hit me back like a boy, but to my surprise, she cried. It was crippling.
As an adult, I set myself up to get teased back by saying something like, “Have you ever met a more handsome guy than me?” Then I wait for her to explode on me! It’s fun.
He Helps You When There is Zero Chance of Having Sex
When I write about this, I always think of the movie Fever Pitch with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. He’s completely smitten with her, and they have a date planned, but when he arrives, she’s violently ill.
Rather than leave, he hunkers down, helping her into and out of the bathroom, cleaning up after her, and taking care of her. There was no chance of him having sex, but he was there anyway.
Of course, she feels better a couple of days later and is horrified that he stayed and helped out.
A player wants only one thing from you, and that’s sex, or sometimes money. But, a guy who’s into you will be there when things are tough, not just when they benefit him.
Four Test Dates To Uncover The Signs He Likes You
Remember, a guy who likes you will do things to show his love.
Does He Like Me? | He Does if He Makes Plans with You
When a guy is into you, he’ll plan your next date while you’re together. He’ll ask what you like to do and where you like to go. He won’t leave getting another date with you to chance because he wants to make sure he’s on your calendar!
He might buy tickets for a concert or sporting event while you’re together to prove he likes you. He’ll include you in his social events when he knows you don’t know anyone because he gets that chance to introduce you socially.
Additionally, he’ll protect you from the evils of the outside world if you trigger his hero instinct. He’ll rock that us against the world thing.
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You | Your Dog Likes Him
Animals are great judges of character, and dogs are very protective of their owners. Even if a guy isn’t an animal person, your dog will take to him if he’s a good guy and he likes you.
I truly believe dogs and cats provide insight on whether a guy likes you, especially if he’s not an animal person to begin with. Of course, why would you ever date such a person?
Conversely, if a guy likes you, he won’t have a problem walking your dog and picking up the poo. No man will do that for a woman he doesn’t like!
Now, if your dog is cowering in the corner, this guy doesn’t give a crap about you or your best friend, and he needs to go!
My cat, Gizmo, hated my ex. I should have known!
Bonus Signal | Signs He Likes You: These Signs Continue After You’ve Had Sex!
It’s one thing for a guy to be on his best behavior early in your relationship, but once he’s had sex with you, the behaviors will fall off if he isn’t into you. In that instance, you need to dump him.
If a guy continues treating you well after sex, he’s a keeper.
This is one big reason to hold off having sex with a guy until he’s proven his worth. You can’t determine what type of man he is if you have sex on the first date. You lose the ability to test him to determine his intentions.
Date With Your Head, Not With Your Heart.
Wrapping Up
Don’t expect to see these signs immediately. They take time to evolve, but they will with a great guy. Don’t have sex with him until you’ve seen him do at least three of the abovementioned things.
As you see him start doing these things, keep him around.
Remember what you read about the milestones above, so you don’t get glassy-eyed over the wrong things.
For a man, the early stages of dating are like a dance. He wants to keep you guessing while wooing you and making you fall in love with him.
It seems like a cruel trick, but that’s how his mind works and how you react is crucial. How do you respond to his teasing? Do you tease back or become offended?
When he fixes your leaky sink, do you show appreciation with a batch of his favorite cookies, or do you complain about the mess?
The volume of emails I receive from women who miss these signals is staggering. You don’t understand how to tell if a guy likes you and dump men who are showing significant signs of attraction.
I encourage men to be direct, but I can’t change the world!
