How Men Show Love
This information is very important! I am not going to sugar coat this one. You wouldn’t want it any other way!
We (men) say, “I love you” OUR way! Our way consists of these ACTIONS:
How Men Show Love – Solving your problems
I know this sounds very unromantic, but it’s true. We give you a back rub when your back aches. We stay up with you when you can’t sleep. If we love you, we start paying for things because we are providers. It doesn’t matter if you don’t need us to pay. We will fix your car or get your car to a mechanic who can fix it. Household issues? We’re on it!
Cutting the lawn, building a shed or changing out the kitchen cabinets – no matter what it is, let us show you our love through actions. When you say, “The lawn looks great, honey, can you do the backyard too?” We jump for joy! Then, we want to do MORE things for you. Backyard? Done.
“Gregg, it can’t be that simple.” YES IT CAN! AND IT IS! We are that simple. This is how men show love. Men love in different ways than women do. Keep a tasty treat above our jowls and we will do the trick over and over. Or do it YOUR way: “I thought you said you were going to cut the back yard too. You never finish anything you start.”
Ugh. We go limp, fetal and head to the couch with a beer. Backyard? Screw that.
Your choice. But only one of the way above hits our love language button. This is how we feel and show love. We do silly “manly” things for women. Granted, cutting the lawn is not as romantic as flowers, but believe me it will lead to flowers if you compliment us on our duties.
Are you getting this? So the next time a guy fixes something for you or does a favor, he might be saying, “I love you.” As silly as this may sound, you need to realize this. If you don’t, contempt will build on both sides and chip away at the relationship bit by bit.
Often times, a man will say, “I love you” because you are making him. He figures it is easier just to say it when he doesn’t necessarily mean it. Ultimately, the words will flow out of his mouth but they need to come out naturally.
How Men Show Love – Protecting you
I always tell women to look for chivalry. This trait is POWERFUL. If a man opens doors, walks next to you against the traffic and helps you sit down at a restaurant, he LOVES you! He will defend you at all costs too.
In a dark alley walking to the car, we are in protection mode for you. It’s built in to our DNA. Again, it’s not as romantic as saying, “I love you”, but it is OUR way.
Socially announcing you
This is huge. If we post FB photos of you, we’re hooked. When we are happy to meet your Mom, friends and attend your hobbies, we are hooked. When we want you to meet OUR Mom and friends and attend our hobbies, again, we are SHOWING you that we are in LOVE!
When we put our friends on the back burner? WOW, we are in love. When a man socially announces you to the important people in his life, he is showing you that he truly loves you. Look for it. And if you don’t see this in your man, move on.
Taking on Responsibility
This is another big one. When a guy helps you with boring stuff, he is probably starting to fall in love with you. Let’s face it, moving your furniture to a new apartment is no fun for any man. Bringing you soup when your breath stinks and your makeup is all over the place because you are sick with the flu means we love you.
Or staying home from work to help you with a project. All of these are positive signs of a guy showing you his love. You’re buying a car and the salesman is treating you like crap? Watch as we take control, waste that salesman and get you that car cheap.
Mmmmm— watch as Tarzan take on salesman!
How Men Show Love – Sex
Big subject! Huge! Back when we were growing up, one of our most coveted “rites of passage” was to have sex with as many women as possible. Maybe this is the caveman reproduction thing, who knows.
But somewhere, we were judged, and our status stamped by our male peers based on how many women we could have sex with.
I am not proud of this male fact. And I’m sure, right now, you aren’t proud of me. But it is true. In fact, of all our achievements, I think sex ruled us the most in our late adolescent/ early adult years.
We would lie all the time to our friends and tell them we slept with girls even if we didn’t. We would pray they would not find out. I now know they were all lying to me as well.
My point is that being proficient at sex is very important to men. We need to believe we are good at it. Consequently, this affects you as well. You need to be gentle with our feelings. More gentle than you think. Say, “I love that, now slow down with your tongue.” Don’t say, “Ow! That hurts, haven’t you ever done this before?”
Remember, men THINK they are great in the sack. In reality, most of us suck. But DON’T tell us we suck! Teach us slowly and with great sensitivity to our little boy feelings, and watch how good we can become. When we get good at sex, we want to satisfy you more. And let’s face it – all women are very different when it comes to pleasure and orgasms.
So many women get angry at their guy for not “trying harder” when we have no friggin idea what you want because we are afraid to ask. This deflates our manhood and our dicks! So understand this point and talk about it with your guy and things will stay HOT in the bedroom. It’s just another one of our differences in showing love. Now, obviously, there are exceptions. Some guys rock in the bedroom. But don’t assume this.
When we want sex all the time, we are hooked. Look for this and keep an eye on it. One of the first things I ask a woman (to her shock and horror) is how often does she have sex with her guy. When I hear barely once a week, there is a problem. Men need sex often but we don’t always want a long drawn out session. Understand this. If you come with an owner’s manual on “how to get you off” and it involves 3 chimpanzees and an albino midget riding a bike— we are going elsewhere.
This could be to porn or another woman but understand this is HOW we are. That said, we WANT and NEED to please you. Communicate with us in a positive way and we will be more than happy to reciprocate. We know we can’t “just get off” all the time without pleasing you. But allow us before work, maybe, to get rough and selfish without the dreaded speech of your sexual needs not being met in every session.
This is HUGE. Let’s face it, we can stare at a glass of milk and get off. You, on the other hand, need much more emotion and foreplay. So the reality is we are going to get off much more than you. It’s OK! Let us and don’t fall into the justice trap of “you orgasmed, so I need to.”
We will reciprocate. Show us how, but dumb it down and be gentle with our feelings.
How Men Show Love Conclusion
So you see, men love in different ways. How men love is based more on actions and not the words, “I love you.”
Oh, and don’t worry, I am on the other side teaching men to change too – this is not one-sided!
If this stuff makes you stop and think then you might want to keep reading! You need to understand more how the male mind works. Check out my #1 Amazon Best Seller “To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man”.