The last topic in this series on understanding men is how to keep a guy from getting bored. For links to each of the previous articles, scroll to the end of the article.
I embarked on this journey to present the twelve ingredients that go into men because most women don’t know how men tick. Why would you? You’re female. We are also clueless about what makes you tick.
Today’s topic, how to keep a guy from getting bored, is no less important than the previous eleven. One could argue it’s essential. A man who’s bored in a relationship can develop a wandering eye. Not all men, but some.
How do you prevent this from happening? Read on, my beautiful friend. Read on.
It Boils Down to Two Things: Mystery and Challenge
Don’t roll your eyes. Did I just see you roll your eyes? Yes, if you’ve read my books or other articles on this site, mystery and challenge aren’t new topics to you. I understand that, but hopefully, by seeing them repeatedly, their importance will sink in.
If you’re new to the site and my writing, let me give you an overview of each.
Before I write one more word, let me first say that you don’t do these things every day or they become boring in themselves. Use these once a week or so, as you feel you need to.
Stay One Step Ahead of Him
Staying one step ahead of him is one way to learn how to keep a guy from getting bored. What does it look like?
If he’s planning to go to the gym, you’ve already been there and are back. If he decides to try a new hobby, you have three you love.
When he gets out of the shower before work, you have his clothes lined up, and you’re already gone.
If he announces a golf trip with his buddies, you plan a trip to Vegas with your friends.
When you stay one step ahead, he sees that you’re quick on your feet and you have a life outside your life with him. You love him, but he needs to keep up.
He’s less likely to feel comfortable sitting on the couch playing video games or watching sports if you’re out doing things without him. Can you sit on the couch with him all day? Sure, but not every day.
Be Less Intense
The work environment is sometimes stressful, so when you’re out for an evening of fun, it helps to let your hair down.
It can be challenging to shift from being in charge to enjoying yourself, but the intensity after a full day of stress is just too much.
Let him get to know you slowly, not all at once. Sharing your entire life story over one or two drinks is very intense.
He wants to hear it, but slowly, over several dates. Reveal your story in bits and pieces. This keeps the mystery alive and keeps him intrigued.
You’ve probably developed a list if you’ve dated for any time. It might go something like this:
- I’d never ride a rollercoaster
- No way would I ever touch a snake!
- I never eat dessert after 7
- There’s no way on earth I’d try ziplining
- I would never date a guy who was over six feet tall
This type of list makes you closed-minded. It’s one thing to have fears about rollercoasters, ziplining, and snakes, but it’s another to completely rule out any opportunity to grow. Instead, inject challenge and mystery by being open to new experiences.
If something causes you to break out into a cold sweat, say so, but still keep an open mind about trying. Experiencing something like that with your guy is incredibly bonding, and he’ll wonder what else you’re willing to try!
Learn the 15 tell-tale signs that your guy likes you!
Never Let Him Get Bored
When he zigs, you zag. If he believes you can’t do a push-up, you crank out ten. If he knows your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan, you decide it’s black raspberry this week.
Do you always dress in basically the same way for your dates? Change things up with a new style.
The idea here is not to fall into a rut with your relationship. Keep him on his toes by staying on yours. Surprise him with little tidbits.
If you usually text him daily, skip a day and say you were busy.
Keeping him interested is fun, but it’s also good for you. Doing these things helps you keep from allowing your life to become too mundane.
The bonus is that this guy will never become bored, which is crucial.
Share Your Opinion
Men love to share their opinion, and more than that, they love friendly or competitive banter.
When two men have a conversation, they constantly challenge one another by taking opposite stands on a topic.
These aren’t arguments but discussions where each has an opinion, and they rarely back down. It strengthens their bond, and it can do the same for you.
To share an opinion on a subject, you need to cultivate knowledge. You do this by experiencing life to the fullest. Get out there and check out a political rally. Watch a football game or two. Go to the art museum or arboretum.
Your action makes you interesting and enables you to be challenging. To make this work, find out where his passion lies, and then learn what you can about it.
When you first meet a new man, you know little about one another. The first date is one big mystery, which is exciting for most men. He’s dying to learn what makes you tick and hear your story.
He’s in chase mode, but as time passes and he learns more about you, the mystery begins to disappear. The faster you tell him your entire life story, the faster the mystery dissipates.
For him, this is part of the fun of dating you, but eventually, regardless of how much you spread out your story, he’ll know most of it. Then what?
I get pushback on this because women feel they don’t need to change who they are to please a man. I agree with this, and I didn’t ask you to change who you are.
Answer this: are you the same person today that you were five years ago? Do you think you’ll be the same person in ten years or twenty?
Of course not. We all change and grow. People develop new skills and interests. You learn new things and engage in new hobbies.
Instead of fighting me on this advice, recognize that change is inevitable. Your guy will change, too; if you don’t both change, someone will be left behind.
Take a Few Risks
Risk-taking is an excellent way to inject mystery into your relationship. You don’t need to risk your life, but take some risks in safe ways.
For example, if you’re afraid of heights, work on overcoming that fear by working your way to higher and higher places. Come home proud that you stood at the top of the bleachers and looked down!
Every person has fears. Some are rational, some aren’t, but that’s not for me to judge. As humans, we grow when we face those fears. You build confidence by acknowledging and then overcoming a fear.
And you become mysterious. If you come home and announce that you finally reached the top of the rock-climbing wall at the gym, your guy will beam with pride and be thrilled for you. Then, he’ll wonder what’s next with a big smile.
How to Keep a Guy from Losing Interest: Keep Some Secrets to Yourself
People are like onions. We have many layers. Part of dating fun is peeling back those layers to see what lies beneath.
Don’t overshare your life with a new guy. Hold things back for much later. Don’t do this with the important stuff, like whether you have kids or if you live in another city. Instead, hold back that great trip to Europe during college or the time you got up in front of the entire student body to win the spelling bee.
You can also save more intimate things like any sexual fetishes or fantasies you may have. This makes you very mysterious indeed!
Keep Him Guessing – Break His Label
Have you ever seen a stranger and immediately placed a label on them? Of course, you have. We all do it because it’s human nature. It’s a defense mechanism. You assess someone for their threat level, whether you realize it or not.
Well, when your guy first met you, he labeled you too. Maybe he even placed a label on you before you officially met.
Imagine that the first time he saw you was when he was watching a buddy play soccer. He saw you on the field and immediately labeled you as a jock.
Then, the next time he saw you, you were dressed up for a charity event in a beautiful dress with your hair and makeup done.
This is a great way to be mysterious without even intending to be. He labeled you when he first saw you; then you busted it when he saw you again. He doesn’t know what to expect, and he loves it!
How to Keep a Guy from Getting Bored | Break Your Routine
Breaking your routine is more about when you’re in a relationship than when you’re dating early on. You’ve been together for a while, and he knows your daily routine by heart.
But then you turn it upside down. Instead of getting up and going to the gym right away, you get up and make his favorite breakfast. Another day, instead of ordering your favorite coffee on your Saturday morning date, you order something different.
These seem like small things, but they break a routine, and that’s always good.
Routines are fine, but they’re boring. Sometimes we need them to ensure we get things done, but that doesn’t mean every moment should be part of some routine.
Don’t be afraid to shake things up from time to time. It shows that you’re willing to live outside your comfort zone and that you’re a confident woman. There is safety in a routine, so breaking it forces you to step outside that safety net.
Give Him Space
Giving him space comes in two forms: emotional and physical.
To give him physical space, let him have a place that’s all his. When a man is dealing with something emotional or stressful, he needs to be able to retreat and lick his wounds while coping with the emotional stuff.
To give him emotional space, let him go to that physical space and lick his wounds until he’s ready to discuss it.
Men aren’t equipped to manage emotionally difficult situations like women are. Most men are raised to suck it up and deal, not to show emotions because it’s a sign of weakness.
Therefore, they need a retreat so they can figure things out. Don’t trail along behind him, begging him to talk to you. Find something to do, like getting into your hobby or going out with friends.
How to Keep a Guy from Getting Bored
Follow the advice above, and your guy won’t become bored in your relationship. All the things you read about above will also help you write your story and grow as a woman.
Learning how to keep a guy from getting bored is learning how to live your life to the fullest, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
Take Control of Your Relationship by Understanding Men | The Entire Series
The remaining twelve articles in this series are linked below. Each covers a nuance of being male that many women don’t understand. They highlight the differences between men and women and hopefully help you enjoy a successful relationship.
To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.
It's how he was raised.
Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.
You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.
Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!