Are You Your Worst Enemy?
When it comes to love, women are their own worst enemies. Heck, we are ALL our own worst enemies!
Kirbie, Gregg’s sidekick, here today. I once worked with a woman who wouldn’t go anywhere without mascara – even when she had a colonoscopy, she refused to go without mascara. It made me sad for her.
She had tried online dating, but due to being overweight, had not posted a photo. She scored a date with a man and when he showed up and saw her, he left after just a few moments.
She is over 50 and, to this day, has never been married and cannot see herself in a relationship, even though at last check, she had 3 men who were trying to pursue her.
She allowed one negative event to completely sum up who she was: an ugly, overweight woman who deserved to be alone in life. She is none of those things, of course.
Women are Their Own Worst Enemies
I’m not about to tell you anything you don’t already know – we (women) are our own worst critics, and by extension our own worst enemies. Nobody is harder on you than you. We don’t see our true selves in the mirror, we don’t believe in ourselves. I know this one well – I am a retired pro!
Perhaps you remember a Dove® video that circulated on social media a while back:
This video is intriguing to me as a sociologist, but also as a woman. It enlightened me and saddened me, all at the same time. It made me wonder what my daughters think of themselves when they look in the mirror – do they see the beautiful women I see? It also made me wonder how that man would have drawn me, with my help.
Women are Their Own Worst Enemies
Why Do We Do It?
The truth is that, rather than compare ourselves to what we were like a few months or years ago, we insist on comparing ourselves to other women – women in magazines – women on television and in movies. I ask you this – what is ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’?
Who defines the traits that are perceived as being ideal for us? We do. That’s right – it’s me and you, sister! We take what we see and we think that we should look like those women, and when we don’t, the only thing we can do is complain about what we don’t have.
They say there is someone for everyone, and I believe that, although I do wish my “someone” would show up already! Not every man is looking for high cheek bones, long flowing brunette hair or golden curls flowing down your back.
A good man is looking for a woman with a good heart who is confident in who she is and can take care of herself. Sure, he’s looking at the wrapper, but do you want a man who only likes you for what you look like – really?
Of course not, so my challenge to you is to stop seeing the wicked witch when you look in the mirror and instead, see the beautiful person you are inside for she is oozing out through your smile, your good deeds and your warm heart.
My Challenge for You
Here is my challenge to you. We don’t all have the ability of the artist in the video to draw someone’s face, but get some girlfriends together one evening and try this – have everyone in the room write down the features of the other women in the room, one by one (depending on how many of you there are).
Then, pair off and describe yourself to someone and have them write that down. Then return the favor. You only need to describe yourself once. Now, take your description of yourself and compare it to the things other people have written down about you. I think this could be a good eye opener.
What do you perceive as your best feature? How often do you compliment yourself on this feature? Do you beat yourself up all day long without recognizing it?
Women are their own worst enemies! This stops today. Start here and let’s Build your Confidence!