I Hate Being Single! 15 Ways Why Being Single Rocks
Guess what? Your mirror called and is telling you to get a boyfriend.
Right? Your mirror, your mom, your friends and even your cat thinks you are a broken woman with little to offer. Nonsense!
What if I were to tell you that I get on average 35 emails per day from women that are supposedly ‘living the dream’ in a relationship.
These are your counterparts describing to me the cheating, the lying, the custody battles and the emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse over and over again.
Does that make you feel, maybe, just a little bit better about your current situation?
You see too many of these women got into a relationship too soon and/or for all the wrong reasons.
I crave the emails from you – The Single Woman – who wants support and information to help you be happy with or without a man.
Ironically, you are in a much better position to find a great guy because you are taking the time to discover yourself, what you desire and understand the male mind before you jump in the pool.
Bravo to you I say!
Now let’s delve into why “I hate being single” is advantageous. Plenty of blogs regurgitate the same obvious reasons – let’s discuss some of the more fun reasons.
Use up all the hot water
Yep. That gas water heater thingy that you have heard about in the basement need not be rationed for some irritating jerk that farts on the couch. Every drop of H2O is yours! Use it until it’s gone…then, wait the 20 minutes, and take another bath this time with candles.
You can watch re-runs of the Bachelor
Right? No boyfriend is going to put up with that shit! That clicker is going to come out of your hands so quick and go to the ballgame so fast you won’t even see the proposal!
That bed is all yours
Make the bed in the morning or not. Wash the sheets or not. Reverse your body so your feet are on your pillow. Fart and then laugh as your cat appears perplexed. Flip around like a seal until you’re too tired to flip anymore – the bed is yours to what you want to do with it and it’s great!
How to be Okay with Being Single
Go ahead be picky
He is too short. His teeth are a mess. Is he wearing cowboy boots? Isn’t he a little bit egotistical? His breathe stinks. Why did he text that? Why didn’t he text me back? Blah, blah, blah. These things don’t matter because, in your head, you already have the perfect guy – who needs a real one?
You can drive a 2-seater
No kids, no husband means that you don’t need a 40K minivan – you can drive around in a Mustang convertible. In fact, you can buy a motorcycle too because your non-existent husband doesn’t need the second parking spot.
Spend forever on your hair and makeup!
Do I sound bitter as a male? Maybe I am. But, hey, my bitterness is your gain if you are single. You can take an ice age to do your hair and then take another one to do your makeup. If you get it wrong? Stay in!
You can own several cats (or dogs)
I’m sorry but that cat lady we hear so much about is to be admired in my book. I love cats! If my condo association would allow me, I would have 10 Maine coon cats. I could care less what others think of me – I want 10 cats.
There will be no arguing
Cats don’t argue. A Dog won’t challenge you on the pairs of shoes you own – in fact Fido will enjoy carrying them around your apartment.
You get sleep
I am coaching a couple that is on the brink of breakup due to snoring. This might not sound like much, but can you imagine night after night being woken up 10, maybe 20 times because your boyfriend or husband is howling like a wolf?
Your food is all yours
Deep down didn’t you hate when your ex stole half your fries? I know you did. You didn’t show it, but the contempt was there, building, like an earthquake on the San Andrea’s fault line.
I Hate Being Single!
You can be as selfish as you desire
Go ahead it’s OK. Put yourself first every morning, every afternoon, and while you’re at it, at nighttime too! He will steal most of this time soon enough so “hate being single” while you can.
You save on the wedding
I cringe every time I go to a wedding. I think of the cost of the thing. Last fall I was at a one with 250 people in Laguna Beach. I barely knew the couple. Why was I even there? I’m eating their shrimp, lobster and prime rib. That wedding had to cost 100K for which they will be paying off their whole life.
Elope for God’s sake!
Travel at will
Screw the planning and the arguing of where you are going to go on vacation and just go! You got the money and the time. Just be careful not to fall for a foreigner with an Italian accent that will want to make you his wife – don’t go for it or this blog will suck for you ?
You can vacuum in your underwear…while dancing
OK maybe this is my thing and it’s weird I admit but I do it. There is something I find funny vacuuming while cranking the tunes – it just makes no sense and that’s why I like it. Maybe because I hate to vacuum, and this adds a new spin to it!
No in-law visits
Do you really want your boyfriends’ brother ogling at your cleavage over Thanksgiving? I think not. You can go have some home cooking at your Mom’s place and ogle at her inability to work her smartphone instead.
I Hate Being Single Conclusion
In all seriousness, my new book Riding Solo How to Embrace Being Single and Prepare to Find Mr. Right.
I will keep you posted.