Should I Get a Boyfriend or a Dog?

Let’s Compare the Boyfriend to the Dog

Should I get a boyfriend or a dog? I actually had a woman ask me this! We had a good laugh but then she got me thinking that there are several advantages to the dog, embarrassingly enough. Also, if you get yourself a pup, he will be very good at screening a future man you bring home.

Bad Hair or Make-up Day

Don’t worry about it! Fido loves you with or without makeup. He doesn’t care if your teeth are brushed or you breath smells like crap. He is just happy to have you notice him in the morning. When George moves in, you will have to concentrate more on your looks and that sucks.

Cleanliness

Fido never leaves his dirty underwear hanging around or his shirts drooped over the chair. He uses 2 dishes – 1 for water and another for food. After he poos, he licks his butt clean. He pees outside. George pees on the floor and leaves the seat up. George won’t pee outside, which would be nice, or lick his butt clean.

Exercise

Fido walks you twice a day! Once in the morning, and once when you get home from work. Sure, you need to pick up his poo, but how is that any different from cleaning the toilet after your boyfriend and his friends let lose during a ballgame? You know he won’t clean it. Will George exercise with you? I doubt it.

Should I Get a Boyfriend or a Dog? Protection

Fido will take a bullet for you, will George?

Companionship

who needs a boyfriend when you have a best friend

Who needs a boyfriend when you have a best friend?

Fido will go anywhere you want to take him. In fact, he will be sad if you leave him at home. Your boyfriend won’t want to go anywhere with you and he will happy when you leave! If you do leave, guess who is greeting you at the door with open paws? Yes, that would be your dog and not George.

Moodiness

George gets pretty moody when his team loses, his pizza is cold or his car won’t start. Fido is always upbeat, doesn’t give a crap about sports and will happily eat the cold pizza!

Arguing

Has anyone ever gotten into an all-out argument with a dog? If they have, they need to have their head examined. Fido is a listener. He will listen to everything you say and will even want to hear more. George says, “Yes dear”, and wants you to shut up so he can eat his potato chips and smell his own farts.

Farting

OK, Fido farts and they stink, but you can fart back and he won’t care at all!

Long-term relationship

Fido will be there for you until he croaks…period! There is no, “I need my space”, “I’m having an affair” or “It’s not you, it’s me” bullshit happening here. This gives true meaning to “Until death do us bark…I mean part”

Should I Get a Boyfriend or a Dog?

After careful analysis, I think we have our answer – trade in your boyfriend George and get yourself a golden retriever and live happily ever after!

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