How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life
Knowing how to stop attracting losers into your life isn’t as challenging as you imagine. For example, did you know there are men and women out there whose sole purpose in life is to see how many people they can pick up and subsequently dump?
Why do they dump them? Because they aren’t in this for a relationship. They’re in it for the sport of seeing how many people they can pick up.
Some do think they’re in it to find a relationship. That’s why I have two categories for these types of men, losers and users. The users are what many call players and they are just in it for the sport of picking up women.
Losers genuinely think they want a relationship but for one reason or another, are incapable of truly committing.
Why Are You Attracting These Men into Your Life?
You Attract People Most Like You
This goes against the old cliché, opposites attract. A confident, happy man will seek out a happy, confident woman. Therefore, it stands to reason that an unhappy man with low self-esteem and low confidence will seek out a similar woman.
A confident man will never purposefully seek out a woman with low self-esteem and confidence. People don’t want to be around others who bring them down.
This is true for your friendships outside your relationship as well. Take a look at your friends. Do they have confidence? One great way to determine this is to really pay attention when you’re together. Happy, confident women don’t gossip or speak badly about others. They don’t wallow in their misery and they especially don’t take joy in other people’s misesry.
If you find your friendships are with low-confidence women, it’s time to find new friends!
Your Body Language Screams Date Me to a Low-Confidence Man
How can a man tell you have low confidence? He sees the cues. One way he determines you have low confidence is in how you dress. Your clothing isn’t flattering to your body. You feel self-conscious about that little bit of belly you have from becoming a mom, so you wear baggy clothing.
It may be your walk. For example, do you keep your head up, smiling at others when they walk by or do you spend your time looking at the floor? Do you take time to make your hair look like you care? Are your shoulders slouched or do you walk tall?
A guy determines your self-confidence without even saying a word to you.
How to Stop Attracting Losers Into Your Life: Set Boundaries
If you do meet a loser or a user, you’ll allow him to walk all over you. You cave to his desire to have sex with you way too soon in the relationship and you give in to anything he wants without any regard for your own values.
Men respect women who have boundaries. They want you to tell them no because that indicates your level of confidence. Saying yes to sex too soon is a big low-confidence red flag because it’s as if you’re saying sex is all you have to offer.
But sex isn’t the only boundry you need. Sit down and determine how you want people to treat you and then set boundaries to make sure it happens. Don’t allow someone to pick you up late all the time if you value being on time. Don’t allow a guy to blow off your date without a phone call if you value being respected.
You aren’t being difficult if you set boundaries, you’re being confident!
You Drop Everything When He Calls
Mr. Supposedly Wonderful calls to ask you out for a date tonight but you have other plans. Instead of rescheduling your date with him, you drop your plans in an instant to be with him. Let me tell you something.
If Mr. Supposedly Wonderful is calling you at the last minute, he either had other plans that got cancelled and he’s looking for a last-minute hookup, or he doesn’t value you or your time and assumes you’re always available to him.
How to Stop Attracting Losers Into Your Life
Take a Dating Break
It’s time for a dating break if the only guys you attract are losers and users. You’re on a hamster wheel where you date a loser, get dumped and find another.
You’re frustrated and stuck on an endless cycle of dating the wrong men. It’s time to re-evaluate and recharge.
How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life | Get Your Confidence Back Up
Life beats you down and dating loser after loser beats you down further. You feel like a failure. Many women tell me they feel a high level of confidence professionally but low confidence when it comes to dating.
This is because of all the negative experiences you’ve had, along with the verbal or mental abuse you’ve received from these losers throughout the years
Decide What Type of Guy You REALLY Want
Don’t accept every date request that comes along; be discerning and choose men carefully. It’s okay to date a guy once or twice to figure out what kind of man he is, but this doesn’t mean you’ve committed to a relationship.
Women get frustrated when men flake after a couple of dates, but happened was that the man simply decides he’s not interested. Since you’re not in a relationship yet, he doesn’t feel he owes you anything, including an explanation. You’re free to do the same.
Don’t Get Invested too Fast
Women tend to go all-in when they meet a man. You feel chemistry on the first date and you’re buying copies of The Knot and looking for a wedding dress. Slow down and get to know him. This means no sex for a while.
A player will want one thing out of you – sex. While all men want to have sex with the women they date, they do value you more if you make them wait and earn it.
Only you know how long is long enough, but I can tell you it’s not in the first ten dates. It takes this long to truly figure out whether this is a man who is worthy of you allowing sex.
How to Stop Attracting Losers Into Your Life: Slow things down
Look at dating as a process to learn more about a man. Likewise, don’t share your entire life’s story in three minutes or less. Reveal new things about yourself each time you get together. You keep things interesting and exciting this way.
Become the Person You Want to Attract
If you want a man who values community, get involved in your community. P.S. this is probably where you’ll also meet him! If you want a man who’s into animal rights, get involved in that.
If you want someone who is compassionate, be compassionate. Remember, earlier I said like attracts like. You need to become the man you want to date, except prettier and better-smelling!
How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life Conclusion
If you sought out this article, you need the advice. While it’s difficult to look at ourselves in the mirror and examine what might be wrong with our approach, that’s what needs to be done.
In order to improve your dating life, take an honest look at what you’re doing to attract these losers. What positive changes do you need to make in your life in order to attract winners?
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