Are you ready to stop attracting losers? Are you tired of attracting the wrong kind of men? Do you find yourself in a cycle of unhealthy relationships with losers who don’t treat you well? If so, it’s time to take a step back and assess why you might be attracting these types of men.

The good news is that you have the power to change your situation. By changing your mindset, improving your life, and learning to recognize red flags, you can start attracting the great men you deserve. Today, I want to help you understand why you might be attracting losers. Then, I’ll give you some tips on how to change your mindset, improve your life, and find great men.

stop attracting losers

Why you attract losers

There are many reasons why you might be attracting losers. You might say these are the red flags men look for. Some of the most common reasons include the following.

Low self-esteem: You have low self-esteem and don’t think you deserve any better

If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re more likely to accept bad treatment from men. You may think that you don’t deserve to be with a good man, so you settle for less.

Men can smell low self-esteem from a mile away. Players are drawn to women with low self-esteem while great men won’t even approach. Without knowing it, you send out low self-esteem signals and all men see them.

Focused on the wrong thing: You are too focused on your looks and not enough on your personality.

Men are attracted to more than just a pretty face. They’re also attracted to women who are intelligent, funny, and kind. If you’re only focused on your appearance, you’re missing out on a lot of great men who could be interested in you.

Stop wearing the outfits that reveal too much. You may think that this is a great way to attract men, and it is, if you’re looking for a man who just wants to have sex with you. But, if you want to attract great men, leave something to the imagination. Let him wonder what’s under your sweater and earn the right to find out.

Dressing in clothing that is too revealing tells a man that you don’t believe you have anything to offer him outside of sex. Is that the image you’re trying to project?

Being too available: You are too available and don’t make men work for your attention

When you’re too available, you’re sending the message that you’re not worth pursuing. Men are more likely to be interested in women who are a challenge. If you want to attract great men, you need to make them work for your attention.

Women mistakenly feel that if they turn down a date because they have something else going on, the guy will run the other way.

The truth is that men love challenges, and one challenge is to get a date with you. There is nothing wrong with saying, “I’m sorry, Jim, but I have Yoga class on Tuessday nights. Can we get together on Thursday instead?”

Now this guy knows that if he wants on your schedule, he has to work at being important enough to get there. A guy who asks for and expects a date on the same night doesn’t value you very much. By accepting, you’re saying you have no other life than waiting for a date. No good man will value you that way.

Wrong motivation: You are too desperate and come on too strong

When you’re desperate, you’re more likely to put up with bad behavior from men. You may also come on too strong, which can scare men away. If you want to attract great men, you need to be confident and relaxed.

I always tell women that they want to be the choosers, not be grateful to be chosen. When you are in the power position of choosing great men, you’re in the driver’s seat of your romantic relationships. That’s exactly where you want to be!

Too much negativity: You are too negative and complain all the time

No one wants to be around someone who is always negative. If you’re always complaining, you’re going to drive away potential partners. If you want to attract great men, you need to be positive and upbeat. 

This extends to your friend groups. Are your friends negative? Do they sit around and complain all of the time? If so, you may need to evaluate your friends. You want to surround yourself with positive people – glass-half-full people. 

Complaining all of the time is tiresome if you’re on the receiving end of the conversation. Nobody wants to hang out with someone like that. Switch your outlook and find the positive side of life.

stop attracting losers

Stop attracting losers by changing your mindset

Have you ever stopped to consider what you really want in a relationship or even what type of man you want in your life?

Changing your mindset is all about discovering those things as well as setting boundaries and standards for how men will treat you. It also includes learning to believe that you deserve better treatment and embracing your singlehood before entering a relationship.

What do you really want?

To start, you need to focus on what you want in a relationship. What are your dealbreakers? What are your must-haves? Once you know what you’re looking for, you can start to take control of your life and make changes to attract the right kind of men.

Which Boundaries Do You Need?

Setting standards and boundaries is also essential. Don’t be afraid to say no to things you don’t want to do. Don’t let men walk all over you. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.

Where is Your Self-Esteem?

You must also believe that you deserve better. If you don’t believe you deserve a great man, you won’t attract one. So start believing in yourself and your worth. You are a catch, and you deserve to be treated as such.

Embrace Your Singlehood

Finally, don’t be afraid to be alone. Being single is not a bad thing. It’s an opportunity to focus on yourself and figure out what you want in life. So don’t settle for a loser just because you’re afraid of being alone. Wait for the right man to come along. He’s out there, and he’s worth waiting for.

Improve your life

To improve your life and attract great men, it’s essential to focus on your personal growth and development. This means pursuing your passions and hobbies, continuously learning and expanding your knowledge, and challenging yourself to reach your full potential. By investing in yourself, you become a more well-rounded and interesting individual, which naturally attracts others to you.

Evaluate Your Friend Group

Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who uplift and encourage you. The people you spend time with have a significant impact on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Surround yourself with those who inspire and motivate you to be the best version of yourself. Positive relationships can provide emotional support, valuable insights, and opportunities for personal growth.

Make YOU a Priority

Prioritize self-care and your well-being. Taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial for your overall happiness and well-being. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and engage in regular exercise.

Practice mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and cultivate a positive mindset. By taking care of yourself, you radiate a healthy glow and energy that others find attractive.

Here are Those Boundaries Again

Set clear boundaries and standards for yourself and others. Know your worth and don’t be afraid to say no when necessary. Establish healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. When you set clear standards and boundaries, you communicate self-respect and self-confidence, which are attractive qualities to potential partners.

It’s Not Just the Outside Men Look At

Remember, attracting great men is not just about changing your external appearance or behavior; it’s about transforming your inner self and living a fulfilling life. By working on your self-esteem, mindset, and personal growth, you become a magnet for positive and meaningful relationships.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

How to find great men

When looking for a great man, it’s important to know where to find one. Here are a few tips.

Find the Passionate Men

Look for men who are passionate about their work. Men who are passionate about their work are often driven, ambitious, and successful. They are also likely to be intelligent and interesting to talk to.

This type of guy is driven and lives his life with purpose. He won’t lead you astray. He will most likely be financially responsible and he wants to grow as a man.

Give a Second Glance to the Nice Guys

Look twice at men who are kind and respectful. A great man will always treat you with kindness and respect. He will listen to your opinions and value your feelings. He will also be supportive of your goals and dreams.

This guy may be a little quieter than the men you’ve dated in the past. Many women discount the quiet guy, but the chances are great that he’s a guy who deserves a second look.

Get to Know a Man who Manages His Emotions Well

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Men who are emotionally intelligent are more likely to be empathetic, compassionate, and understanding.

This type of guy is also more likely to be able to handle your emotions. This doesn’t mean he’ll be okay with you having a complete emotional breakdown but he can handle it better when you’ve had a bad day.

Stop attracting losers by making sure he’s financially responsible!

Keep an eye out for men who are financially stable. Financial stability is important for any relationship. A man who is financially stable is more likely to be able to provide for you and your family. He is also less likely to be burdened with debt.

This type of guy wants to provide for you and any family you have in the future. He works hard to do just that. Now, I know you don’t want to lean on a man to take care of you, I get that. What I’m telling you is this guy won’t expect that of you. You won’t have to field dozens of calls from bill collectors or always worry where your next meal is coming from with this guy.

Finally, Find a Guy Who Shares Your Values

Look for men who share your values and interests. It’s important to find a man who shares your values and interests. This will make it easier for you to build a strong and lasting relationship.

Your goals, hopes, and dreams are all tied to those values and interests. Having a partner who shares them with you will guarantee you a fulfilling and fun life together.

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Wrapping up: How to stop attracting losers

I know it’s frustrating to find yourself in bad relationship after bad, but there is a way to stop this trend in your life.

The good, and depending on how you look at it, bad news is that you’re the catalyst for change. Everything you read above is dependent on you making positive changes in your life.

Let’s recall what those changes are:

  • Improve your confidence and self-esteem
  • Give yourself more credit and show less skin, use your personality to win a guy over
  • Get busy with your life so you can genuinely say, “Sorry I’m busy that night, how about this one instead?”
  • Don’t date from a position of desperation; improving your confidence will help you do this
  • Ditch your negative friends who spend all of their time complaining and find some positive friends who share your interests
  • Know what you want from a guy and relationship; how can you know what a great guy looks like if you don’t identify him first?
  • Set some boundaries for how you’ll allow people to treat you, men included
  • Embrace being single! There is never a better time in your life to make all of these improvements!
  • Make you a priority; implement a plan of self-care and self-improvement for YOU, not for a guy

Additionally, know how to find this great guy. Make sure to find a kind man who is passionate, financially responsible, and can handle his emotions. If you’re out on a date with a man who loses his sh*t because the waiter screwed up his order, make that your last date!

Contrary to what your single friends are telling you, there are great men out there and they’re just as frustrated as you are because they want to find great women! be one of those and find yourself a winning relationship!

stop attracting losers

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