How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Tiffany here. You know that cute guy friend you love to hang out with? Maybe you’ve known him forever, or maybe you’ve only recently met. Either way, you get along great, conversation is always natural and easy and you just feel comfortable whenever you are together. He’s your buddy…. your pal…. But, one day your feelings change. Instead of comfortable, you start to feel nervous and tingly around him. You start missing him when you’re not together. And when you are together — face it — you’d rather be kissing than talking. There you are, pining away and harboring this secret crush, stuck in the friend zone with no way out. Fear not, I have a little advice to help you get out of the friend zone.

Sound familiar? You’ve seen it a million times, played out in romantic comedies (think When Harry Met Sally and My Best Friend’s Wedding), best-selling novels (think Bridget Jones’s Diary and everything written by Jane Austen), and countless TV shows (think Monica and Chandler and Ross and Rachel on Friends). And now you’re living it — for real! What’s a girl to do? How do you get him to notice you as more than just a friend?

The Girl Next-Door or Just One of the Guys

Right now, you probably fall into one of two categories. He either sees you as one of the guys (you’re cool to hang out with but too cool to date), or the girl next-door (he loves you…. like a sister of course). Unless he is secretly pining away for you too, and you just don’t know it yet! Whatever the case may be, you can handle it the same way. The bottom line is men are competitive. It’s like this primal instinct. Sometimes it just takes another guy to be interested in you to open his eyes and kick him in the rear. Try innocently flirting with other guys in his presence, and see what happens! 

Keep It a Mystery and Let the Sexual Tension Build

It’s OK to flirt now and then — it’s always nice to get attention from the opposite sex — but it’s NOT OK to throw yourself at guys, or go too far with someone you have no interest in, just to catch attention of the one you want. Also, don’t talk about your love life with your guy friend. Blabbing about recent dates, sexual experiences, and past boyfriends is TMI (too much information)! Keeping it a mystery will only stir his interest (and his imagination)! Don’t be surprised if one day he starts to flirt with YOU. Just don’t take the bait. Where is the challenge if he has you eating out of the palm of his hand? If there is anything we have learned from movies, books and TV, it’s to let that sexual tension build! If you leave him wondering where he stands with you, he will be eating out of YOUR hand instead. Remember Gregg’s dating advice — YOU are in control and YOU are the chooser. Save the gossip and steamy details for your girlfriends.

Proceed With Caution and Let Him Chase You

Your feelings may have changed, but your personality shouldn’t. If you go from the cool, sweet, fun girl to the crazy, obsessive, possessive girl, you may lose a chance at love, and your friendship to boot. Once his interest is sparked, play hard to get. I know it’s a cliché, but there is some truth behind those words! When he asks you to hang out, tell him you have plans. You’re not at his beck and call, and there are other people who want to spend time with you. Ignore his texts once in a while or at least wait to respond. Let him miss you. Guys like a challenge! Follow this dating tip and he will chase YOU!

Act Appropriately When He Has a Change of Heart

When he does have a change of heart and he finally expresses his feelings to you in an open and honest way, things will just feel right. Those natural, comfortable, easy vibes you felt as friends will be that much better with feelings of love in the mix.

And now that he’s caught you, chances are he won’t let go! Couples who start out as friends build a strong foundation which can lead to lasting love. After all, who wants to spend the rest of his or her life with someone who lacks substance? Looks fade, but true friendships don’t. And wouldn’t it be nice to be married to (and grow old with) your best friend?

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