How to Get Rid of an Ex

How to Get Rid of an Ex

So you’re interested in learning how to get rid of an ex. There are two easy steps that will help you rid yourself of him for good!

It’s the same old story. You spend months, or even years in a crappy relationship until you finally summon the courage to get out. You dump him and enjoy your newfound freedom, but he just won’t go away.

He’s lonely and he wants you back. It’s an interesting twist of fate for most men who are usually the ones to break up. Still, there he is looking all pitiful and you actually give some consideration to taking him back.

Wait!

Before you cave in and add a few more months or years of misery to your life, read these tips on how to get rid of an ex.

What Made Him Want You Back?

Most likely, your ex saw you re-engaging with life. You may be working out, changing your hair or wardrobe, and generally making positive changes in your life. He’s intrigued and even challenged by this new you.

Without realizing it, you took the steps I often recommend for women who want their ex back. I’m not saying what you did was wrong, because it wasn’t. It was exactly right, but it had a positive impact on your ex. So now, what can you do?

How to Get Rid of an Ex: Make a List

Sit down and review your relationship with this guy. What was it that made you want to break up with him in the first place? What are the chances that he’s changed and those reasons would no longer exist?

People break up because something, or most often, someone is broken, usually both people. Your confidence has dipped. He’s a misogynist or a narcissist. Your communication was poor. One of you gained more confidence while the other stayed stuck with low confidence. The list is miles long.

Do you see any evidence of positive change? Sure, you’ve changed, but has he? A misogynist or a narcissist isn’t likely to change so you can forget it if that’s your ex.

Now, review the men you’ve dated and make a list of their positive traits. You can include your most recent ex in your evaluation. When you review these positive traits, how many does your ex have right now? Not when you started dating but when you broke up. Be honest.

Knowing how to get rid of an ex requires honesty with yourself about him and your relationship with him. Just because he came back and stirred some old chemistry doesn’t mean the two of you will work this time.

how to get rid of an ex

Talk to Your Friends and Family

These folks were with you during the difficult time you and your ex experienced. They helped you think through your decision to break up with him. While you may be feeling that chemistry and focusing on only the good memories, they recall the tears and anguish he put you through before you finally decided to get out.

When you want to know how to get rid of an ex, you need to be prepared for your friends and family to take a tough stance. They don’t want to see you get hurt and they’ll be there to support you now as you try to stand strong with your decision.

How to Get Rid of an Ex | Stay Away From Mutual Friends

The friends you shared are usually the ones who are telling your ex how great you look and all the details of your new, confident life. They don’t intend harm, it’s just casual conversation. In fact, he may overhear it and not directly be part of the conversation.

If some of those friends were your friends to begin with, you can kindly remind them that you’re looking into how to get rid of an ex, not how to bring him back. They probably don’t even realize what they’re doing.

If those friends were his friends, it’s time to extricate yourself from the group. They might think they’re helping when they aren’t. They see how miserable he is and they don’t realize you don’t want him back, so they share news of your new life with him.

Block Him from Your New Life

Depending on how involved the two of you were, you may now share some aspects of your life, like bank accounts or other memberships.

It’s time to separate those accounts. If he added any money to the account, ask for a cashier’s check and mail it to him. Remove his name from the account or close it all together and open a new one.

For any other memberships, your best move is probably the same, close the account you share and open one that’s just yours. Let him know things are closed and if he wants to rejoin, he’ll need to do so on his own.

While you’re removing him from your life, block him on your social media and other accounts. If he’s bugging you by text or phone calls, you can block him. While he can still find out what you’re doing through friends, at least you’re making it more of a challenge for him to do so.

Are You Ready to End it?

Not all breakups are initiated by a man. If you're ready to end this relationship, go for it. Only you know whether you're happy and if the relationship is fulfilling your needs. It's possible that he feels the same way but you're both afraid to take that step. It's okay. Read some of the other articles on the subject by clicking below. They're here to help.

how to get rid of an ex

How to Get Rid of an Ex | Be Blunt

I know you don’t want to hurt him, even if he’s being a pain right now, but you’ve probably heard the saying, nice guys, or in your case, nice gals finish last.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a time for being nice. If all other attempts have failed, it’s time to be direct. This is the language he understands best. “I’m sorry Bill, but I really am not interested in getting back together. Please stop trying to win me back.”

Shake Things Up

He knows your routines, so it’s time to change them. I know this is an annoying thing to do, but it reduces your chances of running into him. For example, if you both went to the same gym before, start a new membership somewhere else. Get your coffee somewhere else. Drive a different route to work. Shop for groceries someplace else. Move to a new home.

All these things help make you more difficult to find.

Of course, if you have a stalker on your hands, you need to take even more drastic measures, like moving to a new town, not just a new home, changing your phone number and other information he knows.

The Nuclear Option: Contacting His Family

In your quest for knowledge on how to get rid of an ex, you probably didn’t consider this one and the success of it will depend on not only his relationship with his family, but yours too.

If you had a good relationship with them, you might be able to go to them now and ask them to intervene on your behalf. Mothers are especially effective in these efforts, although if he’s closer to his father and you’re comfortable speaking with him, start there.

Without accusation or speaking anything negative about their son or loved one, share with them that you’ve been trying to get your ex to leave you alone. Ask them if they can help you by speaking with him and asking him to stop.

It’s possible they will be more effective than you’ve been.

How to Get Rid of an Ex

Exes have a way of noticing the positive changes you’re making in your life and it intrigues them, whether you want it to or not. They suddenly feel challenged by this new you. You’re mysterious to them again and their interest is piqued, especially if they’ve had little luck in moving forward themselves.

Try the steps above on how to get rid of an ex and hopefully, he will see the light and go away. Be kind and encourage him to move on without you.

Stay positive, but stand firm in your resolution to keep him out of your life and don’t offer up being friends as an alternative. He will only view this as another way to win you back. Tell him instead that if he can stop pursuing you for a relationship, maybe some day the two of you can be friends again.

If you're ready to move on from this relationship, you're ready for He's Gone, Now What? This book walks you through the many aspects of dealing with a breakup, even if you're the one who initiated the breakup. Regardless of who started it, as they say, your body becomes addicted to the chemicals associated with being in love. The withdrawal process is as daunting as the withdrawal from cocaine.

You'll also learn about the stages of grieving a relationship and how to begin moving forward. You'll walk through the steps of preparing yourself for dating again and gain an understanding of how you can do so in a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about the book here or you can purchase it by clicking one of the buttons below.

Is He Moving Too Fast? How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

Is He Moving Too Fast? How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

Is he moving too fast? Can you control the pace of a relationship?

You’ve known this guy for fourteen days. He texts every day, makes future dates and even talks about a trip to Italy. You’ve already met his kids and you’re concerned that it’s a bit too early for him to meet yours.

You like him. You think. But he’s moving too fast in your opinion.

What do you do?

Here’s what most women do and why their new relationship subsequently fails. They allow a man to dictate the pace of the relationship.

Unfortunately, men’s mouths get ahead of their intentions.

I’m guilty of this myself. I think I really like a woman, so I go all in. Then, I realize suddenly that I’m headed for a serious relationship with someone I hardly know. Deep down, I know I’ve been selling her my best self and she’s never seen the not-so-great side of me.

Men panic and flake because it’s easier than backing out of the Italy trip. It happens all the time.

It’s not your fault. Your only mistake is letting him determine the pace of a relationship because you like him and you’re happy to be dating a descent guy.

The person who controls the pace of the relationship becomes the attracter. If you slow him down, he’ll be more into you because you hold power. You become a challenge and, as you know, men are competitors who strive to earn your love.

Controlling the pace of a relationship benefits you exponentially. It also becomes a test for him. If you slow things down and he gets angry at you, you just saved yourself months, maybe years, of dating a potential head case!

is he moving too fast

How Do You Slow Him Down?

Slowing him down is easy. You can use this exact template or add your own spin.

“Gregg, I’m having a ton of fun and I like you. I like the direction we are headed in, but I’ve learned that getting to know someone takes me time and I need to slow things down. Okay?”

They key element is that you tell him that you like him and that you like where you are headed and then you state your goal of slowing the pace of the relationship.

You could even kid about the psychology of guys by saying, “Jim, I’ve dated guys before who were this eager only to realize their mouths got ahead of their brains. Let’s chill a bit and take our time. Now, what movie are we watching tonight?”

This example states what you know through your own experience, gives him a nice exit to cool his jets, is humorous, and then gets right back to the fun of dating!

Either example works. Just make sure you use one and use it as soon as you wonder if he is moving too fast.

the pace of a relationship

What Happens After You Tell Him He is Moving Too Fast?

A good guy gets it. He talks with himself and realize he was shooting for the stars too soon. He respects you for telling him, and he wants to up his game to keep you in his life.

The best part is other women will pale in comparison to you! You are the only one who put the brakes on his pushiness and that increases his respect for you.

Let him take the reigns again. It’s okay. You’ve exercised your power and now you can let him continue making plans alongside you. If he still pushes to meet your kids, smile and let him know now is not the time, but maybe soon.

What are the stages of a relationship?

Summary | How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

This is one of the many attraction principles that reel in a guy like a cat to tuna. Few women realize that controlling the pace of the relationship helps attract the man into your life not out.

Controlling the dance is a way of expressing confidence and establishing boundaries with someone you’re interested in.

The next time a guys mouth gets ahead of his intentions, you know what to do!

effective communication

Communication is everything in all of your relationships, personal or professional. Learn the best communication skills right here – how to listen, how to talk to people with different communication styles, and most importantly, how to get what you want from a conversation while giving the other person what they want too. Get your copy today!

Starting a Text Conversation with a Guy

Starting a Text Conversation with a Guy

You just met a new guy, and you need some text conversation starters that won’t send him running.

“How are you?” just ain’t gonna fly.

A great text conversation with a guy begins when you first meet him. What is he in in to? Sixty-seven Mustangs? His German Shepard dog named Moe?

Maybe he is studying for a test he must take next week. These are the homerun texts that will get you responses. If you can’t remember squat, then secretly browse his social media pages.

You want to hit him with personal, pithy texts that only he could answer. Do this and he will want to answer even if he hasn’t been sold on your awesomeness yet. Remember, you probably just met so these texts need to keep him hooked.

Keep your texts short and fun. Ask some questions. Questions yield responses.

“Jim! This is Megan from Saturday night. You in the garage working on that blue ’67?”

“Hey, I’m walking my dog Larry – I think Moe and Larry would love to meet!”  

“Johnny! How the heck are you? How did your realtors test go on Monday?”

Notice I used his name. People love hearing their name so use it.

 

how to start a texting conversation with a guy

 

Confident Texts

These texts exude confidence. They show a man that you like him, but you only will like him as much as he likes you.

“Gregg! Hitting the gym after work, you up for joining me? I’ll teach you the right way to do crunches!”

This text has it all. It’s a question. It states his name. And it issues a challenge. Men love challenges and this one is a good one. This text also tells Gregg that you are going to the gym with or without him.

Notice what is not in this text. There are no ‘maybes’, or ‘if you have the time’ types of low confident words.

Starting a Text Conversation With a Guy: Timing Texts

Timing and spacing of your texts is critical too. Texting a guy you just met last night will sound a bit desperate if you text him later that night or first thing in the morning. Wait a day or two, but not three days.

Text him only as much as he texts you – actually, text him less. This keeps him chasing. Your goal is to get him off the phone and on a date, chit-chatting all day long on the phone.

Once he responds, delay an hour or so. This is a nice balance. Gone are the days of getting back days later. People won’t wait that long.

Obviously, there are exceptions. If he has tickets to a sports event that night, you need to respond quickly.

Never Double Text

If he doesn’t respond, then you are done. He needs to make the next move, or he is not interested. Repeating your text twenty minutes later will not get him to respond. You could try one more time two weeks later, but that is the last resort.

 

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested

More Great Conversation Starting Texts

“You and I killed it at Sunday karaoke! Where did you get that voice?”

Compliment your guy on his singing passion while you include yourself. He combines his passion with you and BINGO…he is drawn to you.

“What do think of this sixty-three split window ‘vette?”

OK, you cheated on this text. You knew he is a car lover, so you did a little bit of studying and you sent a pic. Later, you can admit to this, and he will be just as impressed, but for now let the text ride!

“Jimbo! I was thinking about getting a dog, what breed would you recommend that won’t chew on my neighbors leg?”

Funny. Short. You gave him a fun nickname which only close friends normally do, and you asked a question. Very nice.

“Lare Bare! (His name is Larry) Come join my friends and me at Ricco’s tonight! They have a great band, and I would love to see your smiling face again.”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life! That’s all I have so let’s get crazy and get a pepperoni pizza at five. You in?”

This text is just silly and dumb. Guys like silly and dumb. It tells him that you are a unique character, which you are! Grab another phrase and start your text with something that strikes you.

“I woke up, looked in the mirror and I looked fantastic! I can’t wait for tomorrow 😊 You around for dinner on Tuesday? My treat.”

Again, this is just silly. But it’s very confident and he will pickup on this. You’re calling yourself pretty – which you are and then you pivoted and asked him out in a cool, casual way. If it’s me, I’m scratching my head wondering who the heck is this woman and craving to get to dinner.

“Peter, this is Beth just checking in to see if you can repeat your incredible performance last night. If I don’t hear from you, I will take that as a no and I will look elsewhere for a boyfriend 😊”

This one is cocky but it’s great. He gets a compliment; you tease him about becoming your boyfriend, but you mellow it out with an emoji.

Conversation Starting Texts Summary

These text conversation starters are so powerful! I can go on forever with examples, but you get my point.

  • Think outside the box
  • Make your opener something that no one else would say
  • Risk it!

If this guy can’t laugh and jump in with his own funny response, lose his ass and move on! These texts become a test to see if he is worthy of you. If he can’t engage, you’ve saved yourself time and energy.

If you have read my stuff, I know you have multiple options of guys to date. Don’t let your text game be your weak link.

Get my international best seller today – Text Him This Not That.

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You’ll learn the importance of less is more, how to invite a guy to hang out without really inviting him and tons more! Read more about this great book here or buy it today by clicking one of the links below!

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The Advantages of Dating a Beta Male | A Comprehensive Guide

The Advantages of Dating a Beta Male | A Comprehensive Guide

Many people believe dating a beta male means dating someone weak or submissive. This is a common misconception. Beta males are just as strong and assertive as their alpha counterparts. The difference is in their approach. Beta males are often more collaborative and less competitive, making them stronger in many ways. They’re more emotionally intelligent and better at communicating, leading to healthier and more satisfying relationships.

Another misconception is that beta males are not as attractive or desirable as alpha males. This is not always true either. Attraction is subjective and depends on individual preferences. Some women are attracted to the assertiveness and dominance of alpha males, while others are drawn to the empathy and emotional intelligence of beta males. But, these traits are not mutually exclusive. A person can be both assertive and empathetic, or dominant and emotionally intelligent.

There is also a myth that beta males are not successful or ambitious. Again, this is not the case. Beta males can be just as successful and ambitious as alpha males, but they pursue their goals in a different way. Instead of competing with others, they may prefer to collaborate and build relationships. This can actually be a more effective strategy in many situations, as it fosters teamwork and mutual respect.

Finally, some people believe that dating a beta male means settling for less. This is a harmful stereotype that overlooks the many positive qualities of beta males. They are often kind, empathetic, and emotionally available, which makes them great partners. They also tend to be good listeners and communicators, which can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. So, dating a beta male is not settling for less, but rather choosing a different kind of strength and success.

dating a beta male

Dispelling Myths: What a Beta Male is Not

Now that we’ve cleared up common misconceptions, let’s get into what a beta male is not. They aren’t inherently undisciplined or unambitious. Instead, they can be high-flyers and achievers, and the notion of them being opposite is a stereotype fueled by misconceptions. Many beta males thrive in their fields of interest, standing out through their unique approach and perspective. They are not underachievers, but rather men who prioritize values, beliefs, and relationships over societal measurements of success.

Another myth that needs to be dispelled concerns culture. While culture does have an impact on shaping behavior, traits associated with beta males, like empathy, sensitivity, and openness, are universally human, and not limited to a particular cultural or ethnic group.

Furthermore, beta males are not perceived as feminist ‘white knights,’ as some narratives in the ‘manosphere’ suggest. The term ‘white knight’ is often used desparagingly for men who defend or promote feminist ideals. On the contrary, beta males respect women and feminism not with the intent of ‘rescuing’ or ‘defending’ someone else, but out of an inherent sense of equality and justice. Showing respect to women and promoting equality can hardly be classified as a weakness or a derogatory trait.

Many misconceptions about alpha and beta males stem from the false dichotomy that men must either be dominant leaders or submissive followers. This misconception leaves no room for the complexity of human personality, which can’t be conveniently boxed into ‘alpha’ or ‘beta’ categories. Remember, these classifications were initially coined as hypothetical constructs and are helpful as broad descriptions but fall short in capturing the intricate nuances of individual human behavior.

Beta males are comfortable in their skin, respect themselves, and others, understand equality, and know that success is about personal contentment and not always about societal rankings or approval.

Understanding the Beta Male Personality

A beta male is now typically characterized as a person who is empathetic, compassionate, and respectful – qualities traditionally associated with feminine energy as well as inclusive masculinity. Beta males, in complete contrast to the usual portrayal of the dominant and assertive alpha males, are largely defined by their warm-hearted nature, emotional depth, and passive disposition.

Dating a beta male presents a significantly different experience than dating alpha men. While alphas often take the center stage in every setting, beta males are more comfortable in a supportive role. This doesn’t imply that they lack ambition or drive; rather, they are introspective individuals who value cooperation over competition.

They aren’t afraid to hide or suppress their feelings but instead embrace and address them openly. This emotional awareness makes them excellent communicators and intimacy nurturers, quintessential traits often desired in a romantic partner. They feel comfortable expressing affection and sharing their feelings, making them great at sustaining a supportive, emotional connection.

This emotional empathy translates to being sympathetic, understanding, and patient with your feelings and needs. They are not reluctant to show their vulnerable side, which encourages a deeper connection. Cultural backgrounds also play a significant role in shaping one’s personality traits. Culturally ingrained teachings and expectations, emphasizing respect, cooperation, and non-aggression, subtly foster such traits.

Given the diversity of beta males, it’s important to understand and respect their unique individuality while entering into a relationship with them. It’s a partnership that necessitates patience, understanding, and a willingness to dive deep emotionally.

The term ‘beta’ might have negative connotations in certain ‘manosphere’ communities, where it’s typically assigned to men considered easily exploited or overlooked by women. But in reality, beta males are not weak or submissive but supportive and loving partners who champion emotional vulnerability and expressiveness.

The Unseen Value: Benefits of Beta Males in Relationships

Let’s uncover the unique value of dating a beta male. These men are known for incredible listening skills. While many could perceive this as being passive, it’s really a strength. Spending time with a man who genuinely listens makes you feel loved, understood, and important.

Another advantage of a beta male is his capacity for empathy. Beta males are often more in touch with their emotions and can understand and respond to your feelings. This emotional intelligence makes beta males comforting to be around and creates stronger, emotionally balanced relationships.

Beta males also have a solid sense of self. While they may not prioritize their own interests above all else, this doesn’t suggest they’re weak or lacking in identity. In fact, beta males are often more secure in their identities than their alpha male counterparts, and don’t feel the need to constantly assert their dominance or compete. This emotional stability and confidence leads to healthier relationships based on mutual respect, instead of power struggles.

One of the most compelling reasons to date a beta male is his willingness to make sacrifices. Betas are known for making significant sacrifices for their partners if it contributes to the happiness and well-being of the relationship. This level of commitment and devotion offers a refreshing contrast to the traditional alpha ‘every-man-for-himself’ approach.

Relationships are about mutual respect, understanding, love, and compromise. This is where beta males really shine. Their innate ability to truly care for you and prioritize your happiness above selfish interests makes beta males excellent partners and often, wonderful spouses and fathers.

These traits aren’t exclusive to every beta male. Like any stereotype, it can be challenged. Each man is a mixture of alpha and beta traits. Dating a beta male requires understanding, patience and acceptance of these unique qualities.

dating a beta male

Unmasking the Gentleman: Signs of a Beta Male in a Relationship

There are certain traits that shine when you’re dating a beta male. As I previously mentioned, these men are often emotionally in touch, light-hearted, and comfortable with their positions in life. How does this translate into the everyday dynamics of a relationship? Let’s dig in a bit more.

Beta men are sometimes viewed as unambitious, and in a competition-driven society, their lack of ambition and comfortability taking the back seat often translates into what some view as mediocrity. Their focus is often building harmonious relationships and maintaining emotional wellbeing, rather than constantly trying to rise to the top.

Another trait of beta males is their tendency to find themselves in the ‘friend zone‘. Often sought after for emotional support, they aren’t the first choice for a romantic partner. This might be due to their passive nature in relationships, sometimes even sacrificing aspects of their identity for the sake of their partner. This kind of selflessness, while admirable, can sometimes lead to being taken for granted.

On the other hand, the often-overlooked aspects of being in the friend zone include a strong ability to listen, empathize, and offer emotional support – traits greatly appreciated in a long-term relationship or marriage. And because beta males don’t often challenge the status quo, they’re less likely to create unnecessary waves or conflicts in the relationship.

Dating a beta male requires a measure of understanding and patience. Recognizing and appreciating their unique qualities can bring a fulfilling and satisfying companionship.

Misunderstandings often come from misconceptions about alpha and beta males, more often fueled by stereotypes in popular media. Instead of believing these misconceptions, understand the person beyond these labels. Everyone has their unique mix of alpha and beta traits – it’s all about finding the balance that works best for you.

A New Perspective on Masculinity: Embracing Emotional Intelligence

Embracing Emotional Intelligence signifies a shift away from archaic ideals of masculinity that promote stoicism over sensitivity. Beta males, with their inclination towards high emotional intelligence, offer a fresh alternative. Since they’re softer, more sensitive, they allow themselves to feel and acknowledge their emotions, driving a profound level of connection in their relationships. This is not to demean the concept of being strong or assertive, but to highlight the importance of a balance between strength and empathy.

Often, developing emotional intelligence stems from personal growth journeys. Take the transformation many undergo after experiences like a divorce. During such emotionally charged intervals, individuals often learn to relate in a new way, often shaping the beta male personality.

Beta males stand apart from harmful stereotypes. Their emotional openness and ability to sacrifice aspects of their identity for the welfare of their partner represent a move toward healthier, more balanced masculine identities. A research study published by Hawley, P.H., Little, Todd D., & Card, Noel A., proposes the idea, ‘The myth of the alpha male,’ offering us a new perspective on the ideals of masculinity.

The rise of the beta male provides hope for a more open, understanding, and emotionally healthy form of masculinity. It’s about time that we reconsider the standards of masculinity, botching up harmful stereotypes and embracing a more balanced, empathetic approach.

Courting the Beta Male: How to Successfully Date a Beta Male

Dating a beta male is a unique journey, demanding patience and understanding. Beta males bring a refreshing, light-hearted charm to a relationship, coupled with a steady emotional compass. It is an enriching experience if navigated correctly. So, how do you ensure your relationship with a beta male is successful?

First, understand that communication is key in every relationship. Betas can be passive, allowing your feelings and views to hold more weight. This doesn’t make them weak but demonstrates their strength in valuing harmony over conflict. Talk to him, express your feelings, and he will willingly reciprocate.

Also important is respecting his emotional space. Beta males tend to be more in touch with their feelings than alpha males. They might need more time to process events or decisions, which is fine. Don’t rush him, but offer support and understand his perspective.

It’s also important to respect his individuality. It’s likely you’ll meet a ‘beta orbiter’. This is a beta male who dedicates considerable effort to winning over a woman’s attention, often misunderstood as an attempt to leverage a romantic relationship. Accept this as part of his personality, appreciate his nurturing nature, and don’t forget to reciprocate.

Finally, don’t let misconceptions cloud your judgment. Besides accepting beta males as they are, learn to debunk the stereotypes. Being a beta male does not equate to being easily taken advantage of by women or ‘stuck in the friendzone’. It’s their gentleness and approachable nature that often gives off such vibes. In reality, these men don’t fear emotional intimacy or commitment; they embrace it.

Successfully dating a beta male hinges on appreciating his contrast to typical ‘alpha male’ traits portrayed in society. These men offer a blend of emotional understanding, patience, and a non-competitive spirit that creates a harmonious, fulfilling relationship.

Communication is Key: Talking with Your Beta Male Partner

An important part of any successful relationship is communication and it’s particularly significant when dating a beta male who is known for his excellent listening skills and compassionate nature, making him an incredible conversational partner. However, betas sometimes have challenges voicing their own needs. This usually stems from their subordinate nature and the preference to prioritize others over themselves.

Thus, opening the lines of communication can be instrumental in not only understanding your beta male partner’s needs, but in helping him express these needs. A simple question like, “What can I do to make you feel valued?” or “How can I support you better?” can go a long way in assisting your beta male partner to open up.

There may also be times when he might seem unsure or hesitant, especially when faced with decisions. This could be due to his preference for partners who take charge. While it’s important to respect this trait, moderating it by encouraging his input can foster a healthier level of assertiveness, thereby reducing feelings of indecisiveness and discomfort.

Bear in mind that beta males are often more emotionally in tune than their alpha counterparts. This sensitivity can enhance your emotional connection, but it also means they might require a little more patience and understanding. So, tone, empathy, and active listening are critical during conversations.

Maintaining open and balanced communication with your beta male partner not only improves your relationship but also helps him grow personally. It might require a bit more attention and care, but the emotional depth and harmony that you can achieve are certainly worth the effort.

Patience Pays: Understanding the Pace of a Beta Male

A common misconception associates the word ‘beta’ with mediocrity or lacking ambition. Understanding the pace of a beta male involves dismantling this belief and acknowledging that each man, beta or not, has his own unique pace.

Beta males, much like their alpha counterparts, can be ambitious. However, their ambition is often driven by different motivators. They may aspire for a balanced rather than a high-intensity life, valuing patience and gradual growth over fast-paced success. Consider this a metaphorical marathon rather than a sprint.

More often than not, a beta male leans towards avoiding confrontations and prefers diplomacy over dispute. This is not due to a lack of courage but a preferred method of maintaining tranquillity. Remember, conflict and competition don’t necessarily drive him; instead, he finds fulfillment in harmony, mutual understanding, and collaboration.

When dating a beta male, patience is a virtue. Give them space and time to express himself at his own pace. Betas thrive in relationships where they feel heard and are given the time to process their emotions. A rushed, high-pressure environment can make a beta male feel cornered. So patience really does pay, and the rewards are often a deep, emotionally rich relationship founded on mutual respect.

Finally, it’s essential to understand that being a beta male does not imply a lack of direction or ambition – it’s just approached with a different pace and style. A beta male’s ambitions might not always conform to the stereotypically masculine definitions, but nonetheless, it does not detract from his personal aspirations.

So when dating a beta male, understand and embrace his pace. Your patience and understanding will pave the way for a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

The Yin to Your Yang: Balancing a Relationship with a Beta Male

In any relationship, achieving balance is key and this is especially true when you’re dating a beta male. Just like yin and yang, two halves working together to create wholeness, so should it be for you and your beta man. However, to do this successfully and enjoy the harmony that this balance brings, it’s important to gain insight into how to navigate the unique dynamics involved.

First, remember that beta males are not pushovers. They’re emotional, supportive, often light-hearted, yet very comfortable with their positions. They opt for cooperation over competition, expressing their strength in softness. Acknowledging this in your partner can help create a balanced dynamic where you both feel valued and respected.

In many instances, beta males may seem to lose aspects of their identity for their partner. Always remember his tendency to sacrifice himself for you. Create a safe space for a reciprocal relationship, one in which he feels comfortable to express his needs and retains his individuality.

Developing open communication channels is also integral for balance. A beta male is usually calm and quiet; he might not always explicitly express his needs or concerns. Hence, understanding his communication style and showing patience allows for a balanced relationship.

A relationship with a beta male can be rewarding and emotionally satisfying. Affective balance, resonance, understanding, patience and open communication can strengthen this bond, making it a wholesome, fulfilling experience. Embrace the uniqueness that a relationship with a beta male brings. Remember, it’s less about dominance and competitiveness, and more about cooperation and emotional bonding, which could be the yin to your yang.

dating a beta male

The Power Couple: Pairing an Alpha Female with a Beta Male

The relationship between an alpha female and a beta male is a power coupling that’s full of potential, effectively synthesizing strengths and balancing out weaknesses.

By definition, an alpha woman is confident, ambitious, and often accustomed to being a leader. She takes the bull by the horns, thrives under pressure, and isn’t shy about voicing her opinions or asserting dominance.

On the other end of the spectrum is the beta male. Known for bringing a quiet yet firm stability to relationships, he’s content to let you take lead. His ability to listen, empathize, and support provide stability. Forever the peacemaker, he’s great at deflecting conflict and facilitating harmony.

These two create a compelling dynamic where the alpha female and beta male balance each other. The beta’s patience and understanding balances the alpha female’s intense nature. His calming influence provides a much-needed sense of peace and stability.

The alpha female brings assertiveness and decision-making the beta male might otherwise lack. Her strong, dominant personality can be a guiding compass, helping the beta navigate situations where he may feel unsure or insecure. Each one contributes their respective strengths to enhance the other’s areas of weakness.

However, it’s important to be aware that this dynamic can have its own set of challenges. Sometimes, the alpha female’s assertiveness might be misconstrued as overbearing or controlling. Similarly, the beta male’s emotional transparency and empathy might be mistaken for weakness or lacking ambition. Effective communication and understanding help maintain balance.

The harmonious pairing of an alpha female with a beta male creates a power couple, where both partners complement and uplift each other. The beauty of this relationship is that it breaks traditional gender roles and welcomes a new era of balance and mutual respect. It simply requires understanding, patience, and compassion.

Wrapping Up: Dating a Beta Male

By now, you’ve got a grasp on the beta male. It’s not about being less-than or passive. Instead, a beta male embodies emotional intelligence, patience, and the often unappreciated art of understanding. He is light-hearted and completely secure in his identity, which can be a breath of fresh air in a world that constantly pushes for dominance and superiority.

The misconception that beta males are merely ‘orbiters’ hovering around in the friend zone or are easy targets is far from true. Rather, these men possess an alternative perspective on masculinity, expressed through their empathetic nature and emotional openness. Far from being ‘weak’ or ‘lesser than’, a beta male brings balance and depth to a relationship, creating a harmonious union that can teach you a lot about patience, understanding, and emotional communication.

Dating a beta male can present its challenges, especially if you’re used to the alpha-stereotypes society often champions. But, their sensitive and introspective nature can make for a rewarding relationship. They’re quite good at engaging on an emotional level and aren’t threatened by the power or success of their partner – they’re your equal, your partner, and your confidante.

Dating a beta male isn’t a downgrade; it’s an opportunity to engage in a balanced, emotionally intelligent relationship. While it may take some adjustment and patience, don’t make the mistake of associating beta males with weakness or disregard. Instead, embrace their emotional awareness and enjoy the balance and depth they can bring to a relationship. The beta male could be the yin to your yang, the balance you didn’t know you needed. On that note, may you be enlightened in your journey and open to new understandings of what makes a good partner.

advantages of dating a beta male

Unveil the secrets every Alpha woman needs to know to be successful in a relationship. The often misunderstood alpha female often struggles in relationships because she doesn’t understand what type of man is best for her and how to have a successful relationship with him.

All the answers are here! Who is the alpha woman? Who should she date? How can you become an alpha woman? It’s all here and more!

Why Can’t I Find Love? Eleven Changes That Might Help You

Why Can’t I Find Love? Eleven Changes That Might Help You

Love. We all want it. So Why Can’t I Find Love you ask!

Sure, many say they’ve given up, but deep down they’re just frustrated because everything they’ve tried so far hasn’t worked.

I get it. I hear the frustration. I even have readers who get angry at me!

“All men suck.”

“I’m happy just being alone.”

“I’ve given up.”

“Every time I get close to a man, I get dumped.”

But what if you’re simply going about it the wrong way?

What if you opened yourself up to a totally new way of finding love?

Why Cant I Find Love

Why Can’t I Find Love? Eleven Changes to Consider

End the Misery – or at Least the Miserable Feeling

Is this you?

Heck, through the pandemic I was miserable at times too. Our worlds were upside down and nothing made sense. Nothing was normal.

Attempted relationships failed. This led to low self-esteem, potential weight gain and frustration. Ice cream put me in my happy place.

Everything sucked!

So why not accept this and decide to change your attitude starting right now?

Forget men and start working on you!

You’ll be amazed at how your world and relationships will begin to turn around.

How do you do it?

Start with plenty of self-care and self-love. Pamper yourself for a couple of weeks. Then, continue once or twice per week – a regular schedule.

You’re worth it. You might feel guilty at first and that’s okay but keep doing it.

The Little Self-Care Handbook is a great self-care resource to help you get your self-care routine started.

How to stop liking someone

Why Can’t I Find Love? Decide to Do the Work

Many women say they want to find love but they don’t want to put in the work required.

When I ask where they’ve gone and what they’ve tried, I get crickets.

It’s like they expect a man to knock on their front door.

He won’t.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity and complaining about nothing working out how you wish it would, brainstorm 50 ideas for hobbies and adventures. Narrow your list to your top 10 and then, pick 1 or 2, sign up and go.

Get exposure to new people and join groups where you’re likely to have something in common with the members. This takes the pressure off meeting a man while you are having fun!

Work? What work?

Commit to the Work of Finding Love

This leads to my next change. If finding love is work, you’re doing it wrong! Get out there and do the things you love.

Take your list and modify it to include coed pursuits. You probably won’t find many men doing yoga or horseback riding, but you might find them in other places like cooking classes or a ski club. Kick boxing and hiking are also great choices if you like those activities or are willing to try something new.

New choices get you out of your comfort zone which builds confidence. This is a win-win.

Expand Your Search Zone

I have spoken with readers who live in small towns with few choices. Everyone knows everyone else’s business. This forces them to pursue long distance relationships. LDR’s make finding love difficult. This leads to more frustration.

Others live in big cities and look for men in all the wrong places.

If you live in a small town, maybe it’s time to consider moving. Online jobs are abundant today. The kids might be all grown-up or might even enjoy a new adventure.

Big cities can be overwhelming. I have readers in NYC that feel alone. In that instance, maybe it’s time for a change of scenery or a change of venues.

City dwellers do better when they join groups of mutual interest so they can make friends and network to meet more people. Hitting a bar in NYC probably isn’t the best bet. But hitting a new micro-brewery with friends can be a welcome change.

Don’t just stay in your hometown or city because it feels comfortable. You can always visit. Change can be empowering!

Why Can’t I Find Love? Expand Your Friend Zone

Finding love rarely works when your social network is all married women.

It also doesn’t work when family members are breathing down your neck to find love.

Communicate to these groups. Ask them to help, not hurt your effort. Tell them you may be spending a few less hours with them in pursuit of new opportunities and new friendships.

They might get angry and that’s okay. It’s time you set new boundaries.

This will be empowering.

Why Can’t I Find Love? – Try Setting Firm Boundaries

That’s leads us to our next change to finding love. Setting boundaries.

You’re done with guys who don’t text back or text back days later. If they delay, they’re not interested. Period.

Get my best seller – Weed Out The Users, the Couch Potatoes and the Losers for less than a cup of coffee and fix the problem!

Boundaries mean you’re done hooking up with guys on the first date because that’s what they want. You now date with your head and not your heart. That means no sex until a man proves his worth.

Boundaries empower! They attract guys because boundaries are a sure sign of confidence, and guys love confident women because they are a challenge. Nothing worth having comes without a fight.

Try it. Make a list of boundaries that will not get crossed again. Do this not only with men, but also with your friends and family.

Stick to your boundaries and you’ll feel like you have new super-powers.

Get Over Your Ex

This can be a big problem! If you’re still daydreaming about your ex, you’ll waste a lot of time comparing your new guy to him and the new guy won’t stack up.

Ever.

This puts your new relationship in jeopardy right from the start.

One way to get over your ex is to write a letter to him telling him all the things you don’t like about him and your past relationship. Then read it and burn it, safely of course!

It works. It sends a message to your brain that says, “I will no longer let this guy control my future.”

If you need more help, check out this great book, He’s Gone Now What.

Stop Trying to Find the Perfect Guy

Your list may read something like this: I want a guy who is tall, dark and handsome, preferably a doctor earning over $200K a year and living in San Diego.

The truth is that those types of lists prevent you from exploring a new type of guy who might not fit that mold but might be the perfect fit for you.

So far, you’ve sought that type of guy and maybe even dated a few men who fit at least some of that criteria, but how’s that working for you?

Instead, throw out that superficial list and get real! Women have this guy in mind from watching some rom-com movie full of idealistic relationships that aren’t real.

The perfect man doesn’t exist. He’s part of your imagination and truth be told, using tight criteria is a way of protecting your heart and avoiding dating anyone who might challenge you.

Look for the type of man you never thought you would want to date.

Try the shy, geeky guy sitting with a group of rowdy men. He’s probably had his eye on you since you walked in but he’s a little wary of approaching. Give him a couple of smiles and hold his attention with a couple of quick glances now and then. This sends him a message that if he approaches, he won’t get shot down.

If you can’t find the geeky guy, go for the guy who looks like he just crawled off his Harley. He just might be a doctor or lawyer and he’s likely to be more down to earth than the tall, dark and handsome guy with skinny dress pants and six-inch points on the ends of his shoes.

By limiting the type of man think you want to date, you’re limiting your possibilities.

Once you get to know the geeky guy and determine he’s not your speed, move on to another type of guy. Keep your options open.

A couple years back, I wrote a book that will help you understand different types of men.It’s called Manimals, Understanding the Different Types of Men and How to Date Them. I let my readers at that time choose the title and it was a perfect fit!

Why Can’t I Find Love? Shake off Your Past

My parents divorced when I was 16. My nights were interrupted by breaking dishes. This affected my view of relationships in a very negative way. I didn’t see love as a good thing, so I avoided it.

I dated and dated and dated. I was looking for someone who would accept me.

Or so I thought.

In fact, I was the problem. I couldn’t accept love, so I didn’t accept them. This hurt them and me. I was an expert in short-term relationships.

Little did I know I was sabotaging my own quest for love.

I took a step back and dug into my childhood for answers.

Seek help from a qualified therapist if you know you’ve been hurt from events in your past. Maybe it’s abandonment issues or something like my experience. Either way, recognize it and get help before you attempt to find love again.

Figure Out Who You Are

You can’t find the right man if you don’t know your true self. You will seek the wrong type of man.

Ask yourself, what is your vision in life? What do you want tomorrow? Next year? In 5 years?

What morals guide you? Do you live by them?

Answer these questions and you’ll start to live the life you create instead of a life that others create for you.

Women love my best-seller, To Date a Man You Must Understand Yourself because it helps you see the mistakes you might be making without realizing it. It’s a compare and contrast story of two young women who make different life choices that guide their relationship outcomes.

Learn How Men Think

Ahh, now we’re in my wheelhouse!

I saved the best for last. This is my flagship operation.

The best and most entertaining way to build confidence is to discover how men think.

This prevents you from blaming yourself when things go wrong and it gives you powerful insight into how to best communicate with a man and get him to do what you want.

Learn not only what he is thinking but how to react based on his actions.

You zig when he zags. This keeps him hooked on you through his desire for challenge and mystery.

Understanding how men think is the missing link to finding true love. They don’t teach this stuff in school!

Get the book that changed dating forever! To Date a Man You Must Understand a Man

Why Can’t I Find Love – Wrapping Up

Change happens in seconds if you allow it too.

Look over these 11 items and address each one. Spend some time evaluating:

  • Who are you and what you do you truly want from life
  • Your past and how it affects you and your opinions about relationships
  • Whether you have boundaries and how to set some that will positively impact your relationships
  • If your relationship with your ex is affecting you
  • If you’re searching in the wrong places
  • Whether people close to you are helping or holding you back
  • If you know how men think
  • Your own mindset and how to shake the feeling of being miserable

If you begin making these eleven changes, you will begin to see a positive turnaround in the quality of your relationships, and not just your relationships with men.

So ask yourself again. Why can’t I find love? Now you can!

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Stop Questioning Yourself and Start Following Your Woman’s Intuition

Stop Questioning Yourself and Start Following Your Woman’s Intuition

There’s a strong force within you that cannot be explained.

There’s no pie chart, scientific proof or college course to describe this power.

It’s the opposite of logic.

You were born with it and it cannot be sold.

It is dead-on accurate.

What is it?

woman's intuition

It’s a woman’s intuition!

How many times have you had that feeling in your gut that you didn’t listen to?

That voice pushing you to dump the guy, quit your job or move to Paris?

But you didn’t listen to her because it was just a sudden urge and “a sudden urge” shouldn’t be trusted without further exploration.

But that further exploration never comes because you’ve already decided it was just a crazy thought.

And the urge passes…again.

Two years later, you find out that your boyfriend was cheating all along.

Five years later, the job you knew was a dead end no longer exists – the company shuttered its doors.

You should have trusted your woman’s intuition!

I’m Gregg, a man who knows a lot more about your intuition than you do. Yes, I do!

How? Because I know how men think. And I realize that nine times out of ten, had you gone with your woman’s intuition, you would have solved your problem.

And if that’s the case with men, doesn’t it make sense that your woman’s intution might be spot on with other parts of your life? Your career? Who you hangout with? That trip that you said no to?

I get loads emails every day from women like you and I immediately recognize that they’re upset about something because they didn’t trust their woman’s intuition…again.

They blame themselves over and over for failed relationships.

And when I ask them what they feel inside – they come up with the right answer, the answer I know to be true almost every time!

woman's intuition

It’s amazing!

And yet, they don’t use the most powerful tool they possess, why?

Because if your confidence is low, you don’t trust yourself to have good thoughts. You might not think you deserve a job better than the one you have. You might mistakenly think you deserve a guy who treats you like crap.

Sometimes it happens because we pretend to be someone we aren’t. We make decisions to make other people happy. Sometimes we make poor decisions that go against our true urges for reasons we do not even understand.

A Woman’s Intuition Conclusion

Maybe you didn’t follow your interior decorating career because your folks pushed you towards the family dry cleaning business.

I’m here to say that it’s not to late to alter your course. You don’t always need to be rational. You don’t need some extra analysis to confirm what you believe to be true. Your urges are very much rational and valid – they do not need confirmation.

Your urges of intuition are all you need because this is the true you screaming, internally, to stop what you are doing, listen and change course!

If you do, I bet you will be a happier person.

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

Dry Texting-What is He Really Saying with His One-Word Texts?

Dry Texting-What is He Really Saying with His One-Word Texts?

What the heck is dry texting? It’s when you put together the perfect text, check it twice, and hit send. Two days later you get – “lol.”

I know how much that irritates you because I’m the one who gets the emails asking what the heck is going on!

The sad (for you) truth is that guys do not like to text paragraphs, but if you are getting one word answers while waiting two days, it’s time to dump him for good.

I’m serious. There is no excuse for dry texting. It means one thing – he doesn’t care about you.

But you’ll probably make excuses for him, won’t you? He was at work. We had a great first date…blah, blah. Let’s see if you’re right.

Dry Texting Exceptions

You were Texting Back and Forth, and He Just Quit Replying

This happens. In my best seller Text Him This Not That, you learn how men text their male friends – in short bursts that are to-the-point. Never paragraphs.

Guys get sick of reading paragraphs of texts. They just won’t do it. If I were to text my buddy John a 100 word novel, he would dry text back, “WTF!?”

Texting is just the new way of talking and men are not great communicators for the most part. They communicate best in person, with actions and body language!

So, if he is engaging in long texting conversations, and suddenly dry texts, his male DNA (I just realized I hate communicating with women) might have kicked in! Consider yourself lucky and back off your texting.

Your Guy is Old

Let’s face it, some old guys never got the memo that texting is cool! Yes, they’re out there. I have 65+ readers that are dating men that refuse to have smart phones. There are older guys that have smart phones but have no idea how to use them let alone text properly.

Therefore, women might be getting one word answers because that’s all these guys can muster without throwing the phone into the swimming pool!

He’s Busy

If I’m driving or I’m at work, I rarely reply to texts unless I see they’re really important (someone is ill, injured, etc.) But, I will still text back later, if I care. People do have lives and texting can be an annoyance during the day. In fact, I have a no texting policy for the guys who work for my construction company.

Dry Texting as a Test

For confident women, dry texting is a godsend! It shows you immediately through his actions if he likes you. Use it to your advantage.

Once he gives you a few one-word texts, stop texting completely. You could even give him some shit back before you dump him by texting, “YTSFO” and see what he says, if anything.

When he dry texts back, “?”, you say “Your texting sucks, f**k off!”

It may just put a smile on your face!

But Don’t Shy Guys Dry Text?

In my experience working with shy guys, no. In fact, many shy guys are good texters. Texting becomes a good conduit for them to get around their shyness.

In fact, shy guys are the type that will read an endless text. So if can not help yourself and you are determined to text novels, you might consider putting a shy guy at the top of your dating list.

Dry Texting Summary

I can’t think of a better test at the beginning of a relationship to judge how much a man likes you than dry texting. If you send him, “I have some great news to tell you,” and he responds the next day with a question mark, he doesn’t care to be in a relationship with you.

The reason doesn’t matter because he doesn’t even know you. Therefore, it is not about you, it’s about him so why waste your time?

The key is to date several men, even more than one at a time, so you have choices and options. If you are dating one guy, you may tend to go all in too quickly and allow him to get away with this crap. But if you are able to date multiple men (not sleep with but date), you don’t care as much if one of them dry texts you.

Without knowing it, you’re making big texting mistakes when you text men. Lucky for you, I have the solution! Text Him This, Not That takes care of all these blunders and helps you text a guy in a way that makes him want to text you back sooner!

You’ll learn the importance of less is more, how to invite a guy to hang out without really inviting him and tons more! Read more about this great book here or buy it today by clicking one of the links below!

dating advice for women books
Seven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem When Dating

Seven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem When Dating

Guest Post Written By Lana Otoya

Lana is a professional dating coach for successful women at Millennialships.com. She helps successful and confident women meet successful and confident men.

When you are dating, things can get tough. You go on date after date, only to discover that the men you like the most are never interested in you.

Even the most confident person in the whole world might start to question their attractiveness if this keeps happening. 

The key here is not to get discouraged. When you give up on dating, you lose your chance to find a loving and supporting relationship. 

Here are seven ways for how to improve your self-esteem when dating.

#7 – Know Where Confidence Comes From

Confidence is a key aspect of dating because it helps you attract men, and also feel better about the whole process.

The interesting thing about confidence is that you can get it from multiple sources. Most people get self-confidence from “track record” or “history”. This is when you look to your past experiences to help you determine if you are good or bad at something.

For example, if you always get A’s on all your math tests, you are going to be pretty confident that you are a skilled mathematician.

If you’ve had bad relationships in the past or never seem to get into a long-term relationship, your track record is not providing you with the confidence you need to attract a man. So how can you be confident if your track record is tainted?

The good news is that you can tap into your self-esteem. Self-esteem, although similar, is not the same as self-confidence. Self-confidence is often felt as a result of external validation, much like the math example. Where self-esteem is something that comes from within you. It’s something that you feel rather than something you see.

 Self Confidence vs. Self Esteem:

Here is a nice explanation of self-esteem from Psychology Today:

“Self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals such as income, status, or notoriety…On the contrary, they treat themselves with respect and look after their health, community, and environment.”

As you can see, healthy self-esteem comes from believing you are worthy, and respecting yourself despite any negative situations that life may present to you.

When dating, just remember that rejection and struggle happens to many people while they are looking for their long-term partner. You only need that one person to make everything worth it, so don’t tell yourself you don’t deserve love when you know it’s not true.

#6 – Have Realistic Expectations

Another way that you can help yourself feel confident during dating is to have realistic expectations. The online dating process is slow. You will message a lot of men who don’t message you back. You will go on dates with men who are losers. You will start to see a guy who seems really nice, only to have him ghost you after a few dates. I know this is a harsh reality but going in with these expectations helps you realize that it’s not you. This happens to everyone.

Even the most attractive, model-like women have trouble dating and finding a partner. This is because finding a partner only has so much to do with appearance and attraction, and much more to do with meshing two personalities together.

Sometimes it can take a while to find two personalities to really fit, but you only need to find one person and when you do, it’s really an amazing feeling!

#5 – How to Improve Self Esteem in Relationships: Move Slowly

When you are in a new relationship with someone who is really fun and awesome, you can be tempted to move things too quickly.

As a dating coach, I’ve seen many women get so excited about a new man who she tells her friends all about him, deletes all her dating apps and stops communicating with all men. Then, she realizes a few weeks later that he’s not interested in a long-term relationship.

There’s nothing wrong with getting excited and enjoying the honeymoon phase, but cutting off all other ties and letting all your friends know that you found “the one” can make the feeling of rejection much worse than it needs to be.

Always keep your options open until the two of you are on the same page.

#4 – Don’t Take Things Personally

Even if someone rejects you, it’s not really “you” that he is rejecting. It could be many different things.

There are seven billion people on this earth, and no two people have the exact same personality.

When dealing with so much variety in preferences, hobbies, values, etc., there are going to be people who clash. If you feel like things are going well with a man and then suddenly, he changes his mind, it could be any one of these little things that are not matching up. Maybe you live a little too far away from his house or maybe he’s not ready for a relationship.

Regardless of the reason, just know that if a man is not a good fit, you’re much better off without him.

#3 – Rejection and Shame Happen to Everyone

Researcher Brene Brown determined the feeling of rejection you experience when others do not accept you is a global feeling. This means that it happens to every human unless they have a serious mental disability. We are tribal animals whose evolution has made us want to fit in with the crowd. It is vital to our survival.

When you get rejected by someone, you have an intense feeling of shame. You purposefully analyze and critique yourself to see what might have gone wrong. This is a survival instinct because your brain is trying to help you fit in better next time.

The truth is though, you don’t need to fit in with everybody anymore. You do not rely on a certain caveman tribe in order to get your food and shelter. If someone rejects you, you can still live a perfectly happy life and not have to worry that you didn’t get along with just one person.

#2 – Focus on Self-Care

Dating can be a roller coaster of emotions. When you’re dating, you should be sure to have a structured and regular self-care routine. This allows you to remind yourself that you are the source of your own happiness, not anyone else.

Having an effective self-care routine is crucial to your daily peace and happiness, but many people falsely believe that self-care is simply taking a hot bath with a glass of wine and some candles.

There are so many other ways to enjoy a self-care routine and this book walks you through them, providing you with many choices on how you can implement a self-care routine into your schedule. 

#1 – How to Improve Self Esteem in Relationships: Have Fun

The pressures of finding a partner and all the swiping and texting rules can really be a downer. It’s best to pull back and remind yourself that dating should be fun. Instead of thinking, “I hate being single”, “This date is going nowhere” or that you  would rather be in your pajamas, remember – it’s just drinks.

You’re not being forced to speak in front of one thousand people or run a marathon. You’re just sipping on some cocktails with a new person. Even the most horrifying dates can still be fun. They can be a learning experience or simply an excellent story to tell your friends!

My Boyfriend is Not Romantic

My Boyfriend is Not Romantic

I have received many emails from women who were headed for divorce, based solely on their husband or boyfriend not being romantic enough.

I grew up in a family that didn’t show love. I have three older sisters and I am the only son. I never saw my mom and dad kiss, and we never said, “I love you” before bed or when we said goodbye.

I learned from my parents not to show love in emotive ways and took this unromantic behavior into my relationships.

I personally decided I needed to change because I was being accused of being an unromantic boyfriend, and that sucks!

Showing love didn’t compute back then.

Today, I try hard to express my love because I am aware that this does not come naturally to
me.

And even more importantly, I have learned that dating a romantic guy is important for
many women.

Why?

Because women can generally express their feelings better than men. As a woman, you were encouraged, growing up, to show your emotions.

The opposite is true for boys. Boys
are taught to hide their feelings; Never cry, be tough, win.

Given these cultural and familial caused flaws in men’s behavior, I feel it’s important to look for the other signs and ways an unromantic man shows you he loves you. 

Here’s how an unromantic man shows you he loves you

Chivalry

Here are some examples of chivalry:

  • He protects you when you are in public
  • He does things for you
  • He takes out the garbage and fixes the things he can fix
  • He’ll stay home when you are sick or at least check on you throughout his day

Now, taking out the garbage isn’t quite as romantic as flowers and “I love you”, but it is a way in which an unromantic man shows his love.

I think it’s important for women to realize that men show love in very different ways. Most of
us dread Valentine’s Day and birthdays because we are afraid we will let you down!

I’m not saying to give a lazy man a pass because he forgot your birthday.

I am saying to root for him – guide him on how he can make you happy. Reward him for his
behavior even if it’s a bit shy of your grand expectation.

If you do this, he will get better; I will get better; all men will get better!

If you scold him for not being the romantic boyfriend you saw in the movies, you will never
be happy with his efforts, and this will soon lead to anger and contempt.

Both men and women need to stop blaming the other for their shortcomings and start
understanding and listening to how the other thinks and what he or she is going through. When you are able to do this, amazing things can happen.

Being a romantic boyfriend is just one example.

My focus is to help women fully understand how men think so they can navigate situations
like this easily and effectively by creating a win/win for each side.

You understand that he does love you – he’s just not able to show it in the way that you want him to, due to learned behavior.

Now you aren’t resentful. Instead, you reward him for showing what he can and, maybe soon, he does things better.

See? He really is a romantic boyfriend ?

 

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

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