Every Woman Needs a Good Story: What’s Your Story?

Every Woman Needs a Good Story: What’s Your Story?

Do you want to meet quality men? If so, you need a good story. What’s your story? Let me show you how to meet quality men by building a good story. Consider me to be any of the following people:
  • A man thinking about dating you
  • A boss considering you for a job
  • A friend you just met who wants to hang out with you
  • A family member (or a bank) considering lending you money
What do all these people have in common? They all want to know your story. If this story is interesting, unique and positive, they will grant you the action you desire. Hmm, you say? What do you tell them? What’s your story? Your story, the story you tell them, started years ago, maybe even decades ago. If that story is not positive, your story starts today! Women who get what they want out of life have a great story. This story doesn’t need to be about how you conquered the world or even how fast you ran a mile. When you tell a man your story, he is able to gauge your level of confidence. The role of confidence in dating cannot be ignored. What’s a good story? This high value woman, Meghan, has a story like this:
  • I’m busy all week long, yoga on Monday and Thursday, volleyball on Tuesday, and Friday out with the girls
  • I went to Paris last month, I had a great time seeing the sights…
  • My friends and I tried wind surfing, after 15 attempts I…
  • I went to the ICA Museum in Boston on Sunday, wow, who knew…
  • Three more weeks and I will have completed my bachelor’s degree in…
  • I put a hold on my gym membership and joined Crossfit!
See how busy Meghan is and interesting she must be? This is because she is constantly on the move – trying new things and saying no to any suggestion of a routine. Her life is rich with experiences. Will she fail at some of these things or not like them? Oh yeah! But that doesn’t stop her because she has the confidence to fail so she can succeed. Now, imagine what Meghan will be like when she goes on a date with a quality guy like Jack – a guy she met while wind surfing. She will be interesting because she has stories to tell. She will have opinions because she has experiences in many fields. She will be generally happy and positive because she lives life with reckless abandon! Jack? His jaw is on the ground. Not because of Meghan’s stunning looks, no – she is very average looking, but because she is so much fun to be with! Meghan wants to know all about Jack and he loves talking about himself (like all guys do.) She doesn’t talk much about herself and this makes her mysterious. Suddenly Jack wants to find out more about her and when he asks, he is amazed! Megan wraps up the date early because she has plans and this makes Jack’s jaw drop even more. Is a second date in the making? – You can bet your life on it if Jack has his way. So tell me, what’s your story?

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It’s a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It’s how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn’t saying the words she longs to hear. He’s taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You’re probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you’ll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you’re in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

Am I Ready for a Relationship?

Am I Ready for a Relationship?

So, you’re considering the leap into the wide world of romance, huh? Well, before you put on that red lipstick and step into those killer heels, there’s one question you need to explore: Am I ready for a relationship? Now, don’t roll your eyes! This is crucial if you want to enjoy a successful relationship. I’m not just talking about whether he’s “the one” or if your friend’s cat likes him—it’s about you.

“The first step in becoming emotionally ready for a relationship is understanding yourself.”

That’s right, it’s all about loving and understanding yourself first and foremost. I know—mind=blown. But let’s backtrack. I’ll walk you through just what makes up this mystical concept of ’emotional readiness,’ and, perhaps more importantly, how to determine if you’ve got it. Strap in because this is going to be a revealing ride!

  • Understanding yourself: Taking the time to delve deep into your inner workings? Uh, yes please! Knowing your likes, dislikes, and quirks is a crucial step in establishing what you need from a relationship.
  • Assessing your past: We all have history (no, we’re not just talking ex-lovers), understanding it and learning from it can help you avoid old patterns and mistakes.
  • Checking in with your emotions: Trust me, this isn’t just some woo-woo stuff. Knowing how you respond emotionally to certain situations will help you navigate the stormy seas of love more smoothly.

So, are you ready? Let’s dive into the marvelous mysteries of emotional readiness. Brace yourself, self-discovery awaits!

am I ready for a relationship

Exploring Emotional Availability

Are you even open to welcoming a charming prince into your life? Ah, emotional availability, that broad highway or treacherous bog that can make or break your love journey. And trust me, it’s not as dramatic as it sounds!

Emotionally available people are ready and able to form an emotional connection with others. They’re receptive to feelings—both theirs and those of others—and are able to express their emotions openly. In other words, they’re ready for the giggles, the tears, and the buttery warmth of a shared morning coffee.

But how do you, a sweet solo she-roe, determine your emotional availability? You listen to your heart… and a few other things.

  • Openness: Do you find yourself ready to share thoughts, dreams, and fears with someone else? Are you prepared to let your partner fully see you—with your strengths, flaws, and the quirky bits in between?
  • Willingness: To be emotionally available also means being willing to take risks. As the saying goes, no risk, no champagne. So, are you willing to take the chance, roll the dice in the game of love?
  • Space: Do you have room in your life for another person? Not just physically (though an extra toothbrush holder does come in handy), but mentally and emotionally. Could you make space in your morning routine, your Netflix binge-sessions, and in those quiet moments when you’re truly yourself?

Remember, emotional availability is not just about sharing your Netflix password. It’s about being vulnerable, open, and ready to share your life with someone else.

Now, nobody is saying that this is easy peasy, lemon squeezy. But it’s part of the terrain when you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life, one that involves a co-author. So, take a moment to ask yourself: Are you emotionally available?

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Build Emotional Resilience

So, you want to build that emotional resilience, huh? Kudos to you! It’s like safeguarding your heart with an armor, but fear not, it doesn’t mean you’ll become a cold unfeeling robot. So let’s break it down, shall we?

Number One: Embrace change. Change, as they say, is the only constant. Sometimes, life switches up the script when we least expect it. Maybe he loves jazz and you’re all about rock ‘n’ roll? Can you compromise or better yet, appreciate that difference?

Number Two: You do you, girl! You know that famous mantra, “control what you can control”? That’s right, yourself! Focus on your responses and let go of the need to control situations or people. Mmmhmm, let that one sink in.

Number Three: Positivity, please! No, we’re not asking you to be relentlessly sunny all the time. That’s unrealistic! But what about when the going gets tough? Can you spot the silver linings amid the storm clouds?

Now, don’t feel overwhelmed, the power doesn’t come overnight. Building emotional resilience is a journey, a process, and not a destination.

Remember always that-“It’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” Rocky Balboa was onto something there.

There you have it. Manage change, control what’s within your power and practice positivity. So, grab a cuppa, sit back and contemplate. Are you ready to build emotional resilience? Are you ready for love?

Developing Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity is not something that magically appears when you turn 21 or pay your first tax bill. It’s a journey, a continuous process of self-reflection and personal growth. And guess what? It’s absolutely crucial for a thriving relationship.

Now, what does emotional maturity even mean? Well, it’s about being able to manage your emotions, keeping your cool when the going gets tough, and expressing your feelings in an appropriate manner. Emotionally mature people can do this because they’ve got a firm grip on what they’re feeling and why.

How does one develop this superpower? Let’s break it down.

  1. Embrace your feelings: It’s okay to be a human and have emotions! Once you accept your feelings, it’s much easier to manage them. Confused, excited or simply blue – let it be.
  2. Be Empathetic: ‘Walking in someone else’s shoes’ might seem like an old granny’s advice, but trust me, it’s a game-changer. Understanding others’ feelings and perspectives will make you more compassionate and patient.
  3. Practice self-reflection: Get cozy with a hot cuppa, look within, and ask yourself tough questions. Why did you react a certain way? What triggers certain responses? This kind of soul-searching is a key to understanding how your mind works.
  4. Take responsibility: The beauty of adulthood is in taking accountability for your actions. If mistakes were made, own up to them. It’s uncomfortable, but oh-so essential.
  5. Build resilience: Cute kitten videos can only take you so far in life. For the rest, you’ll need resilience to bounce back from tough times. It’s about learning from every situation, instead of allowing them to push you on a downward spiral.

Remember, it’s not about being perfect, but rather about being a better version of yourself!

Developing emotional maturity is not only beneficial for your future relationships, but also for your overall happiness and self-esteem. So, why wait? Get onto this emotional roller coaster, brace yourself for its highs and lows, and enjoy the ride!

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Explore Your Core Values

Let’s talk values, your core ones specifically. These are the backbone of your personality, and they say a lot about your readiness to dive headfirst into a relationship. Ponder a little, will you?

Most people have a range of values they care deeply about, but are you crystal clear about yours? As you step into the dating world, understanding your values can guide your decision-making and help align you with the right person. Boy, wouldn’t that be lovely?

Start with a values self-assessment. Pen down what truly matters to you in life. Is it honesty? Kindness? Ambition?

  1. Reflection: Start by reflecting on moments where you felt complete, satisfied, and true to yourself. What values were you honoring then?
  2. Exploration: Explore your actions and decisions. Are they synced with your values or are they contradictions? It’s time for some hard truths.
  3. Re-evaluation: Don’t shy away from re-evaluating once in a while. Like everything else, values evolve as we grow. Keep that list fresh!

A key aspect of emotional readiness is the ability to live by your core values, and furthermore, holding those values even when challenged. So if you’re currently trying to tweak your values to accommodate someone else, you might need to hit the pause button for a while. Are you truly ready for a relationship if you’re compromising your own authentic self?

Being true to your values not only keeps your integrity intact, but also increases the chances that your future relationship will be nothing short of fulfilling. Remember, you’re not looking for someone who changes you, but rather enhances the wonderful woman that you are.

Ah, the magic that happens when your values and your partner’s values align, there’s nothing quite like it. Now, give yourself a pat on the back for taking this crucial emotional readiness step. You’re one step closer to not just any relationship, but a truly meaningful one. Isn’t that exciting?

Finding Happiness Within Yourself

Are you ready for a truth bomb? Well, here it comes. No man, no matter how chiseled his jaw, or how deep his pocket, can make you happy if you’re not happy with yourself. That’s right, happiness is an inside job! Let’s sashay through some ways to find that glowing happiness within yourself before committing to a relationship.

The Solo Date: Start romancing yourself! Who said you need a man to enjoy a fancy dinner or to watch your favorite movie? Don’t be scared to date yourself – it’s an excellent way to understand your likes and dislikes.

The jar of Joy: Start a joy jar where you jot down something that made you smile each day. It can be as simple as the sight of a blooming flower or a compliment from a colleague. When you’re feeling down, just pull out a note from the jar to realize how much joy is subtly present in your life.

“Happiness is not out there, it’s in you!” – Unknown

Find your Passion: Life’s too short for boredom. Have a hobby? Great. Don’t have one? Don’t fret. Start exploring, try out different things until you find something that lights a fire in your eyes. Is it painting? Is it dancing? Hiking, maybe? Grab hold of it, and don’t ever let go!

The Good Old exercise: Yes, you’ve heard it 100 times, but here’s 101 – exercise regularly. Endorphins, the loan sharks of happiness, need to be repaid, and there’s no better way to do so than getting your body moving!

Don’t dwell on the Negative: Failures and setbacks can be part of life, but don’t let them consume you. Learn from them, use them as stepping stones, and move ahead with a renewed strength.

Remember, a relationship isn’t a rescue boat to escape your problems. Rather, it’s a ship where you and your partner work together, navigating the ocean of life. The secret to a successful relationship lies in finding happiness within yourself first because, deliciously cliche as it sounds – you can’t pour from an empty cup!

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Understanding Attachment Styles

Gather round for a thrilling chapter in your journey to love: understanding attachment styles. Contrary to popular belief (and some overly dramatic soap operas), it’s not all about ripping bodices and running through the rain. It starts from within, in the nitty-gritty of our psyche. So, ready to crack open that beautiful mind of yours?

Let’s rewind a bit. Attachment styles were first introduced by psychologists Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby. According to them, our early childhood experiences with our primary caregivers lay the foundation for how we connect, or attach, to others later in life. Fascinating, isn’t it?

There are four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful-avoidant (also known as the ‘disorganized’ style). Yeah, the names are a bit of a spoiler but how about a closer look?

  • Secure: These are the lucky ones. Feeling loved and secure in their early years, they grow into adults who are confident, comfortable in their relationships, and not afraid to express their feelings. Want a solid, trusting relationship? Secure is the way to go. Got this style? You ROCK!
  • Anxious: With unpredictable care in their early years, as adults they can be quite insecure. They crave closeness but are afraid their love might not be returned. Intense, right? But hey, no judgment here – it’s all about understanding.
  • Avoidant: These folks had to become self-reliant early on. As adults, they value their independence highly and might be a little… laissez-faire with their emotions. You could think of them as the cool, aloof individuals – just likes cats, maybe they just need the right person to coax them into opening up.
  • Fearful-Avoidant: This one’s a toughie with a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors. They desire close relationships but, fearing hurt, they might push people away. We’ve all got our baggage; it’s all about learning how to unpack it.

Understanding your attachment style can help you figure out why you feel and act the way you do in a relationship. It’s like revealing the secret sauce to your love life!

“Know thyself” – a quote as old as time yet it remains solidly relevant. Delving into your attachment style helps you better understand your emotional needs and reactions. It’s a true game-changer, my friend!

The beauty of it is, understanding this can help you not only in romantic relationships, but also in friendships, your career, and how you parent. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving!

But let’s get serious for a moment. Here’s the real-deal: attachment styles aren’t set in stone! With acknowledgement, learning, and a little patience, one can move towards a ‘secure’ style over time. Now that’s what I call a happy ending!

Understanding Your Emotions

Understanding your emotions isn’t a walk in the park. It’s more like a high-intensity, uphill hike. But hey, the view at the top? Totally worth it!

Your emotions, those pesky little things, are essentially your body’s way of communicating with you. Feeling ecstatic because you landed that promotion? That’s your body telling you ‘You’ve done well!’ Or are you feeling a pang of jealousy because your ex-boyfriend just moved on? That’s your body waving a red flag that there’s an issue to address.

Donning your emotional raincoat and delving into the storm within can be overwhelming. But fear not, you don’t have to do it alone. A trusted friend, or a professional counselor, can be your umbrella and help you decipher what those emotional raindrops mean.

Becoming an emotional Detective doesn’t happen overnight. It’s patience, persistence, and a whole lotta self-love.

  • Patience is about allowing your emotions to unravel in their own time. No one’s asking you to become an expert off the bat; that would be like asking a novice cook to whip up a Michelin star meal on day one!
  • Persistence on the other hand, means hanging in there, even when it’s tough. There will be times when it’ll feel like you’re wading through pea soup, murky and unknown, but remember, Monday’s pea soup could be Tuesday’s sunshine.
  • And finally, never underestimate the power of Self-love. This is about taking care of yourself during this emotional exploration. Did the journey get a bit too much today? That’s alright, take a breather, and maybe treat yourself with that hot bubble bath you’ve been planning.

Understanding your emotions isn’t just about recognizing them; it’s also about accepting and respecting them. Feeling angry? Sad? Scared? That’s perfectly fine. Emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, are natural and valid. So, the next time a pesky emotion tries to rain on your parade, grab your umbrella, lean into it, and say ‘I see you, and it’s okay’. Because you got this and you’re oh-so worth it!

am I ready for a relationship

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Exploring Past Relationships

You didn’t think we’d skip this topic, did you? Let’s dive headfirst into the pool of past relationships. Double back flips and all.

Here, take a seat – it’s about to get juicy. Remember, it’s not about dwelling on the past but understanding it. We’re looking for patterns, not exes – no need to text him or unblock him on IG.

Start by reflecting on your past relationships. What were they like? Were they a smooth-as-velvet, Barry White kind of love or rocky like an episode of Game of Thrones? Things can get messy, and that’s alright, we’re not aiming for perfection here, just enlightenment. “Darling, when looking back, don’t stare.” -Letitia Baldrige

Be brutal (to yourself, not your exes). Was there a similar thread of conflict or misunderstanding that led to the downhill? What part did you play in the chaos? Yes, the mirror can be your best friend or your fiercest critic, but we’re here for truth, not a glamour filter.

Find the missing piece. What was lacking in those relationships that you wish had been there? A sense of mutual respect? Humor? Maybe, just good ol’ communication? Jot these down in your mental notebook (or a real one if you’re into that).

Lastly, time for some self-love. What did you learn about yourself? Each relationship (failed or not) offers a buffet of lessons. Did you discover a new boundary? Or get a better sense of what you’re looking for in a partner?

Exploring past relationships is like cleaning your closet. It may not be the most glamorous task, but when you’re done, you’ll feel refreshed, enlightened, and ready for something new (a dashing gentleman, perhaps?). With this emotional readiness, you’re one step closer to finding that right man for your wonderfully ever after.

Assessing Your Self-Esteem

Now let’s talk about your self-esteem, huh? It’s that secret sauce that adds spice to your life and color to your aura. Strong self-esteem is essential because it directly impacts your ability to give and receive love. So how about a little check-in?

Do you stand in front of your mirror each morning, look at that gorgeous woman staring back, and say, “I’m the bomb.com, and anyone would be next-level lucky to have me?” If yes, you’re doing great! But if you’re leaning more toward the “I’m okay, I guess” lane, then there’s some work to be done.

Being confident in your own skin, appreciating your strengths, acknowledging your shortcomings, and still knowing that you’re a complete package is essential before diving into the dating pool. If your relationship with yourself is shaky, it’s likely that your relationship with a man will be too.

Note: You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you certainly can’t expect someone else to fill it for you! Work on filling your own first.

Start by recognising those accomplishments you’ve brushed under the rug because you’ve done incredible things! Make a list. Yes, grab that pretty journal, your favourite glitter pen and scribble away. Could be anything, from finishing that Netflix series in a day (hey, some days are like that) to getting a promotion or even learning how to whip up a mean lasagna.

  • Every little bit matters in boosting self-esteem.
  • You’re a glorious, evolving, exhilarating woman — never forget that!

A bit of self-compassion also goes a long way in enhancing self-esteem. Do you beat yourself up over that break-up from three years ago? Does the memory of the guy who ghosted you still make you feel unworthy? Well, it’s time to look in the mirror, straight into your eyes,and say, “I did the best I could with what I knew, and I forgive myself for any past mistakes.”

Remember, you’re just a human, not a robot. It’s okay to mess up and learn from it. It’s okay to have a past. A boyfriend shouldn’t be your redemption — he should be your companion.

A healthy self-esteem isn’t about being perfect or having no regrets. It’s about loving oneself, warts and all, and accepting that you’re a work in progress. Only when you learn to love all of you, can you genuinely love someone else. And that’s what being ready for a relationship is all about. You got this!

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Examining Communication Skills

Ever heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it?” Well, they weren’t kidding. Communication is not just about exchanging information; it’s also about understanding the emotions and intentions behind that information. So, let’s talk about how to check if your chat game is strong enough for a relationship, shall we?

Self-expression: Can you articulate your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, even when you’re under pressure? Remember, you’re not just a damsel in distress waiting to be understood – talk it out!

Do a quick checklist:

  1. Are you comfortable discussing your feelings and needs?
  2. Do you listen with the intention of understanding rather than responding?
  3. Can you accept criticism and differing viewpoints without hostility?
  4. Do you avoid passive-aggressive behavior? (Yeah, we’ve all done it, no shade)
  5. Can you express yourself without blaming or criticizing the other person?

If you’re shaking your head to any of these, then it might be time to polish up on those communication skills!

Remember: Communication in a relationship is like the heartbeat—it’s not visible, but it’s vital!

Next up – Non-verbal cues: Communication isn’t all talk. No, it’s not just about those flirty little eye-rolls or winks across a crowded room—it’s deeper. It’s about understanding body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions; it’s about picking up on feelings without words.

Think about this:

  • Do you consider your body language and tone of voice while communicating?
  • Are you able to pick up on subtle changes in the other person’s behavior?
  • Do you respect the other person’s space and boundaries?

If you struggled with these questions, it’s cool; non-verbal communication is an art—time to start painting more expressively!

Relationships are not as simple as picking berries, but who doesn’t love a good challenge? Get your communication skills in check, and you’ll be golden!

am I ready for a relationship

Recognizing Patterns of Behavior

Whoa, hold your horses! Before jumping headfirst into the love pool, have you ever considered analyzing your own patterns of behavior? No? Well, it’s a biggie. Recognizing your own patterns can act as your own personal relationship GPS and prevent a fair bit of unnecessary heartache! How about we unpack this, shall we?

For starters, these patterns usually sneak up on us in the form of recurring behaviors or cycles that show up over and over again in our relationships – whether it’s always falling for the wrong type or running away at the first sign of commitment. Ring any bells?

Recognizing these cycles begins with self-reflection – and here’s where it’s crucial to be honest with yourself. I know, I know – taking a long, hard look in the mirror can be as appealing as a bad first date – but this is not the time for sugarcoating. It’s time to notice your habits that sabotage love or simply just don’t serve you well. Call a spade a spade here!

Need a little help with that? No problem, here are some questions to get you started:

  1. Is there a particular type of person you constantly find yourself attracted to?
  2. Do the same conflicts seem to arise in every relationship?
  3. Do you often find yourself settling for less than you deserve?
  4. Do you feel like you’re constantly repeating past mistakes in your new relationship?

Once you have clocked these patterns, the next step is to figure out why you stick to them. Were you conditioned to behave this way? Is it a defense mechanism? Or perhaps it’s the fear of being alone? Answering these questions helps pave your way towards emotional readiness for a relationship.

Remember, kicking unhealthy patterns to the curb is like shedding an old skin. It can be liberating, empowering and oh-so-good for your relationships. So, look those patterns straight in the eye and take that first bold step towards changing them. So what if it’s tough? You’re tougher, right?

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Be Open to Vulnerability

Ready to wear your heart on your sleeve? Embracing vulnerability is kinda like skinny-dipping in the emotional ocean. It’s thrilling, a little terrifying, but oh-so liberating once you take the plunge.

Now, I hear you asking, why would I want to open myself up to potential heartache and rejection? Well, without vulnerability, a relationship can be as bland as an unseasoned salad.

Vulnerability allows for a genuine connection to bloom. It means letting your guard down, expressing your fears, your desires, your secrets, and heck, even your embarrassing dance moves. It’s about being you, unapologetically and authentically. That’s what adds flavor to your relationship salad!

Transitioning from a lone wolf to a partner in crime means sharing your life with someone else. Scary right? “What if they judge me?” or “What if they don’t like the real me?” – I know these thoughts may be dancing in your head. But here’s a handy formula:

Risk of Vulnerability = Potential for Connection

Without taking the risk of opening up, you’ll never taste the sweet victory of emotional intimacy. And remember, vulnerability works two ways. It’s not just about you opening up, but also making your partner feel safe enough to be open with you.

So are you ready to take the vulnerability plunge, or are you keeping that swimming costume on? Consider your readiness to be vulnerable as a checkmark on your list assessing emotional readiness for a relationship.

A Word of Caution though: Being open doesn’t mean spilling your heart out on the first date or ignoring your intuition if something feels off. It’s all about balance! Don’t forget the importance of establishing healthy boundaries along the way. No one wants a relationship salad doused in too much balsamic, do they?

Alright, that’s enough of my salad metaphors for one day. Go ahead, take that plunge if you’re ready, and remember to enjoy the swim!

Prioritizing Self-Care

Let’s clear something up right away. Self-care is not just about spa days and green smoothies – though we must admit, both arevery nice. Self-care encompasses a whole range of actions directed at nurturing your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Before you slide into a relationship, you must be willing, and able, to prioritize this kind of care for yourself. Why, you ask?

  • First, a partner can enrich your life, but they can’t be your life. It’s crucial to have a solid, happy solo life before you add a romantic partner into the mix. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for a codependency scenario, and that’s a recipe for heartache.
  • Second, it’s best to face it – relationships can be challenging at times. If you’re not in the habit of taking care of yourself, the added stress of a relationship could seriously knock you for a loop.
  • Lastly, when you know how to take care of yourself, it’s easier to understand and express your needs in a relationship. Spoiler alert: Understanding and expressing your needs is key to relationship satisfaction.

“Remember this: A relationship should add to your life, not become your life.”

So, how well do you take care of yourself currently? Not absolutely sure? That’s Ok. Here are a few key areas to check in with:

Your physical health:

Are you taking care of your body? This means feeding it nutritious food, keeping it hydrated, getting regular exercise, meeting medical needs, giving it rest, and yes, occasional pampering. Except for the last part, none of this is negotiable.

Your mental health:

Are you taking steps to keep your stress at manageable levels? Do you have healthy coping mechanisms for when life throws curveballs? Mental health is non-negotiable too.

Your emotional health:

How do you maintain your emotional equilibrium? Do you have ways to replenish yourself emotionally when you’re drained? Hint: You should be able to do this on your own, and not rely on others.

Working on these elements of self-care will not only put you in a position to better handle the ups and downs of a relationship, but also make you a more attractive partner. After all, confidence is sexy, and nothing spells confidence like a woman who knows how to take care of herself.

am I ready for a relationship

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Develop Trust and Intimacy

The road to emotional readiness for a relationship is about to get steamy. Get your headlights on, because we’re venturing into the territory of trust and intimacy. And no, we’re not just talking bedroom eyes and sweet nothings. Real trust and intimacy go deeper—it’s about feeling safe to reveal your true self, flaws and all.

How’s your comfort level when it comes to trust? Do you find it as hard to come by as a limited-edition Prada bag on a Saturday sale? Or does trust flow as easily as your favorite Pinot Noir on a Friday night? It’s critical to pinpoint where you sit on this spectrum, because trust is what allows intimacy to bloom like a beautiful sunflower in a relationship. Too abstract? Hear me out.

Trust is like the sturdiest, most beloved pair of jeans in your closet. They’re always there, reliable, accommodating all your curves and angles, providing comfort and familiarity. That one pair you’d practically live in if it was socially acceptable—am I right? Their constant support promotes self-expression and confidence, not unlike trust in a relationship.

  • Consistency: Your favorite pair of jeans never suddenly morph into a grating, ill-fitted pair of corduroys overnight, do they? Similarly, trust is built on consistency—on your mate being the person they promised they’d be, day in and day out.
  • Truthfulness: A relationship without honesty is like jeans without pockets. Sure, they can still fit, and they might even look good, but you instinctively know something important is missing. True honesty—even when it stings—fosters trust.
  • Reliability: Just like those comforting denims always being the first thing you reach out for, in love, you should be able to count on your partner to be there, in thick and thin.

Now, let’s move on to intimacy, and it isn’t all about that sexy little negligee you saved for special nights! We’re talking emotional intimacy—getting naked on a whole different level. Revealing your fears, hopes, dreams, skeletons – all that good and not-so-good stuff. It’s like dancing in the rain or singing off-pitch in a karaoke bar, while your partner watches in awe of your audacity and spirit. Real intimacy means seeing each other in your raw, vulnerable states and still being enthralled by each other.

“In the end, trust and intimacy are the difference between being ‘a pair’ and being ‘a pair bound by love.’ It’s akin to the difference between owning a plant and actually nurturing it into full flourishing life. Now ask yourself, are you ready to nurture?.”

Understanding the Difference Between Love and Infatuation

Alright, let’s talk about something we’ve all fallen prey to at some point: the confusing conundrum of love versus infatuation. Ready? Buckle up!

You see, love and infatuation can feel like identical twins in the early stage of a relationship. Both exciting, both tempting, and oh, both can give you those fluttery stomach butterflies, right? But here’s the kicker: they are not the same, not even close.

Infatuation is like the honeymoon phase. It’s filled with thrill and intensity where you’re mostly focused on the physical aspects and the connection often feels instantaneous. But here’s a question for you: is it sustainable? Can you see it lasting? No? Well then, it just might be infatuation.

On the other hand, love has depth and stability. It does not fade with time but rather strengthens. Here, you cherish the person as a whole, their perfections, their flaws, and everything in between. In love, the happiness of your partner becomes vital to your own, sound familiar?

  • Infatuation is lightning, it’s quick, thrilling and unpredictable.
  • Love is like the sun, it’s constant, warm, and nourishing.

Does that mean infatuation is bad? Absolutely not! It’s simply the first step, the exciting bit before love deepens. The problem arises when infatuation eclipses everything else and you mistake it for love. A true, healthy relationship cannot be built on infatuation alone.

One more tip off the hat: Love respects boundaries, infatuation trespasses them. Love means understanding and respecting that the other person has a life beyond you. Infatuation, however, can lead to obsessive thoughts and actions. Not really the basis for a healthy relationship, right?

“Infatuation is when you find somebody who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize they aren’t and it doesn’t matter.” – Anonymous

So, to wrap things up – Are you in a race, or are you in for the long haul? Understanding the difference between love and infatuation can help you assess your emotional readiness for a relationship sans rose-colored glasses.

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Learn About Fostering Healthy Boundaries

Now, don’t go getting all huffy but let’s just dive right into the nitty-gritty, shall we? Establishing healthy boundaries is like setting up those adorable little fences around your emotion garden. You’re not keeping everyone out, just making sure they wipe their boots before they get in.

But, what are these so-called ‘boundaries’? Simple! Boundaries are those nifty rules you lay down for yourself and others on how you wish to be treated. Think about it. Why should anyone be allowed to just trample all over your emotional tulips?

  • Personal Space is essential: It’s like that favorite corner in your home, where you cuddle with a book and a cuppa. It’s yours, and you want people to respect it. In the same way, ensure your thoughts, feelings, and experiences too have their own little nook.
  • Clear Communication of boundaries: You might be wondering, “Wait, am I supposed to spell it out?” Um, YES! If you expect others to respect your boundaries, they need to know about them in the first place, no?
  • Respecting Other’s Boundaries: It’s a two-way street. Respecting other people’s boundaries is just as important as protecting your own. The golden rule, remember? Treat others the way you want to be treated.

As the fabulous Maya Angelou once said, “Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.”

Let’s be honest, setting up boundaries isn’t about building walls, it’s more like hanging that ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on your hotel door. You’re merely asking for respect for your emotional self and personal space. And jumping the gun because you’re smitten head over heels? That’s a big no-no. If you’re emotionally ready for a relationship, you’ll realize it’s alright to hit that pause button and set up those healthy boundaries. You got this!

Letting Go of Fear and Insecurities

Those rattling bones of fear and cascading insecurities…we all have ’em. But, allow me to tell you this – letting go of fear and insecurities is like shedding your opaque cocoon to emerge as a radiant butterfly, ready for love! Just as the weather, your feelings, too, can be unpredictable. All set to discover how? Let’s dive in!

The first step in this journey is recognizing your fears and insecurities. They could be anything, from fear of rejection to insecurities about your appearance. Get your detective glasses on, make a hot cuppa, and start digging deep. What’s making you quake in your fabulous boots?

Once you understand what these are, you’re halfway there! Remember, every ‘Aha!’ moment brings you one step closer to your goal. It’s like a made-for-you treasure hunt, except you’re hunting for fears and insecurities.

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Now that you’ve found your fears and insecurities, let’s kick ’em to the curb, shall we?

  • Have you considered therapy or counseling? Sometimes, having a professional to guide you in the process can be enormously helpful.
  • Embrace the power of positive affirmations. They are like little love notes to yourself that can boost your confidence.
  • Spend quality time with loved ones who lift you up. Those soul-sisters (and brothers!) who always have your back? They can be a wonderful source of strength and encouragement.
  • Exercise and eat healthily. There’s a lot of truth in the age-old saying “healthy body, healthy mind”. Physical wellness can play a significant role in your emotional resilience.

Finally, remember that no one is perfect. It’s okay to have fears and insecurities, but letting them control your life and your love life? Oh no, we won’t have that! So, let’s raise our cups to fearless love and self-empowerment. Emotionally ready for a relationship – here you come!

am I ready for a relationship

Are You Ready for a Relationship? Finding Happiness Within Yourself

Well, well, well, here we are – figuring out how to find inner bliss. It’s high time we grabbed life by the horns, wouldn’t you say? Buckle up, because finding happiness within yourself is a wonderful, wild ride!

Let’s make one thing clear – happiness doesn’t come from a perfect relationship, a swanky job title, or a purse teeming with dollar bills. Nope. Real, lasting happiness? It blooms from within. Like a lotus in the muck of life’s challenges, your joy has the power to rise and shine.

Picture this: You’re about to embark on an epic journey to discover your soul-sparkling satisfaction. Like a trusty rucksack packed with essential goodies, don’t forget these key truths on your adventure:

  • You are responsible for your happiness. Sounds a bit scary, right? It’s actually empowering. Your happiness is not attached to anyone else. No one can snatch it away from you.
  • Happiness is a process, not a possession. Go easy on yourself, honey. Enjoy the journey, and remember – it’s OK to have highs and lows. That’s what life’s about!

40% of single women struggle with trust issues in relationships

The Good Men Project tells us that a whopping 40% of your fellow single women struggle with the same thing. Trust issues can be a thorny problem when you’re trying to reel in Mr. Right. It’s vital to prepare yourself emotionally before you go fishing in the wide ocean of dating, don’t you reckon?

Trust issues often stem from past hurts and disappointments. Achieving emotional readiness means working through these issues head-on. It’s not about forgetting your past experiences – it’s about learning from them and using that knowledge to push forward. It’s the whole “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” kind of deal. Just remember, it’s all part of your journey to emotional preparedness and ultimately, a healthy relationship.

Here’s a win – understanding and accepting your trust issues is already half the battle. Now, refining and building upon that trust is the next big step. And boy, does it feel good to take control and wrestle those trust issues to the ground!

So how do you move from being ‘stuck in a rut’ to thriving in the land of trust? A good exercise is to identify the root causes of your trust issues. Was it a traumatic past relationship, a family situation, or perhaps, a personal experience? Once we reveal these deep-seated issues, we can begin to truly heal.

One technique that can be helpful in resolving trust issues involves writing about your experiences and feelings. Get yourself a pretty journal, grab a cup of chai, and pour your thoughts out on paper. Writing helps to bring clarity and allows you to reflect on your feelings.

Remember it’s okay to seek professional help if you are finding it difficult to work through these issues by yourself. A good therapist can be as good as a heart-to-heart chat with your best friend—just remember to replace the glasses of wine with a notepad and pen!

Keep at it, and with time, you’ll notice a change. Remember, trust is like a garden, it needs time, patience, and the right nutrients to blossom. You got this, girl!

It’s Time to Face Vulnerability

60% of single women have a fear of vulnerability in relationships

Preposterous, you say? I know. But it’s the truth. Many women shy away from the dreaded ‘V’ word: Vulnerability. Can you blame yourself? After all, it’s like taking your heart out of your chest, placing it on a platter, and hoping the man on the receiving end won’t drop it. Not the easiest task, I assure you.

But enough of the grim stuff. Why are so many people frightened of being vulnerable in relationships, anyway?

  • Rejection or hurt: Who wants to face rejection, or worse, heartbreak? Not me! But without the risk of hurting, can we ever know love?
  • Unknown results: When we expose our true selves, we don’t know what the outcome will be. Uncertainty is scary, isn’t it?
  • Past traumas: Let’s not discredit past relationships that have left scars. They can make the idea of being vulnerable again, quite unsettling.

Now, how about we twist this tale a little? What if I told you, being vulnerable doesn’t always mean being weak or exposed? No, I’m not pulling your leg. 

“Transparency is the key to truly connecting with another person. By revealing our authentic selves, we can build a deeper bond.”

The Journey to Emotional Readiness

Taking the journey towards emotional readiness is like running a marathon, not a 100-meter dash—there’s no need to rush. Let’s break it down.

Step 1: Break Up With Your Past

Yes, you read that right. The first step towards emotional readiness is to break up with your past. Those messy breakups and heartbreaks? Time to say goodbye! It’s impossible to glance forward, when you’re always looking in the rear-view mirror, right?

You’re not what happened to you in the past; you are the person who survived.

Step 2: Prioritize Self-Love

30% of single women have unresolved emotional issues that may affect their relationships

Block off some “me time” on your calendar! Whether it’s curling up with a good book, doing yoga, or taking a bubble bath—prioritize loving yourself. Remember, you must fall in love with yourself before falling for a man!

Step 3: Befriend Your Feelings

Emotionally ready? It’s about opening up a friendly conversation with your feelings. Instead of shutting down your emotions, embrace them hook, line, and sinker. Yes – even the scary ones!

Step 4: Check Your Expectations

Reality check! No man—or relationship— is perfect. Make sure your expectations of a future beau are realistic and fair. Prince Charming only exists in fairy tales!

Step 5: Cultivate Emotional Resilience

Life throws curveballs, and a relationship isn’t an exception. Build your emotional resilience to dodge or at least withstand them. This is your emotional shield!

Take this journey at your own pace, and remember, there’s no deadline to love. Romance is not a race, it’s a journey!

We need to talk about those unresolved emotions, don’t we? Ain’t no shame in it – we’ve all had our fair share of emotional baggage. It’s more common than you’d think, with 30% of single women being in the same boat.

But wait, don’t slam the panic button just yet! Emotional issues do not mean you’re unfit for a relationship. They’re just tiny roadblocks you need to clear on your way to emotional readiness.

Think about it this way, these issues are like that annoying pile of laundry you’ve been meaning to sort out – daunting at first but, oh, so satisfying once it’s done!

Prioritize resolving these issues, not because you want to be ready for a man, but because you want to be a happier, healthier version of you. After all, when you’re at peace with yourself, you’re more likely to attract the same back, don’t you think?

Don’t let unresolved emotions keep you from your potential Prince Charming. Remember, your journey to emotional readiness is not about creating a perfect you, but a healthier and happier you. Now, unburden that emotional baggage and let love in!

What are the big flashing signs of being emotionally prepared for a relationship? That’s a stellar question! Let’s down to business, shall we?

  • You’re comfortable being single: Irony at its finest! But trust me on this. If you enjoy your own company, understand your own nuances, and find joy in the little things you do for yourself, it means you’re not relying on someone else for happiness. Can you imagine a better foundation for a relationship?
  • Past Relationship Drama? Resolved: If you’ve made peace with your past, it is a major sign of emotional wellness. Remember, it’s okay to have emotional scars, but they should be healed, not festering.
  • Compromise? But with boundaries: You’re open to adjusting and adapting, but you also know where to draw the line. If this sounds like you, hats off! You’re all set for a relationship.
  • Confidence reigns supreme: A little self-love never hurt, did it? If you value yourself and believe in your worth, you’re emotionally ready to invest in a relationship without losing yourself in the process.

Sounds like a tall order? Remember, no one’s perfect! All you can do is acknowledge your feelings and work on yourself. The idea is to embrace your emotions and use them as a tool for personal growth. How’s that for a motivational speech, eh? Onward and upward!

25% of single women have experienced past trauma that may impact their ability to be in a relationship

That’s a staggering number, isn’t it? Even if traumas of the past are buried in the deep shadows of your memory, their strains can sneak into the merry daylight of new relationships, coloring them with unexpected shades. Tread softly, for this is tender territory.

Looking back at the past isn’t always an afternoon tea-party. But trust me, it’s a necessary exploration to unmask the hidden impacts of past trauma on your emotional readiness for a new romance. Certainly, wounds of the heart can’t be spotted with a mirror, but their echo may affect how you interact, trust and bind with a potential partner.

But hey, don’t you worry a bit! Emotional scars, just like physical ones, can heal over time. It’s okay to feel the sting. Remember the mantra? “It’s okay not to be okay”. The key lies in recognizing, acknowledging, and tackling these effects head-on.

“Remember that everyone walks a unique journey of healing. Take the time you need to grow strong at the broken places.”

Consider professional help if things seem too blurred to see. A trusty therapist or a counselor can guide you down your journey of healing, helping you retie loose emotional knots. And always, always, ensure a strong network of support around you – friends, family, pets or maybe that plant you’ve been watering religiously!

Also, remember the golden rule: your past trauma does not define you. You are a fabulous, independent woman ready to take on the world and love again, on your terms.

am I ready for a relationship

Am I Ready for a Relationship? How can I assess my emotional readiness for a relationship?

Like planning for a dream vacation, assessing your emotional readiness for a relationship requires some real self-reflection. Are you ready to pack your bags yet, or are you still searching for the perfect destination?

Pull up a chair, because it’s time to get introspective. Grab a journal, make yourself a cup of tea, and be prepared to dive deep within your own beautiful mind. Sounds like a grand adventure, right? Well, it most definitely can be!

1. Examine Your Motivations

Ask yourself this: “Why do I want to be in a relationship?” Are you yearning for companionship, looking to fill a void, or believing the myth that a partner will somehow “complete” you? If you find your motivations revolve around filling gaps rather than sharing your complete self with another, you might need to pause and reevaluate.

2. Reflect on Past Relationships

What went wrong? What went right? Is there a pattern here? Your past relationships can be a treasure trove of wisdom, if you’re willing to dig for it. By looking at your relationship history, you’ll be better able to identify any patterns in your behavior that could signal a lack of readiness. Are you still carrying that heavy emotional baggage from your ex? Maybe it’s time to lighten the load?

3. Check-In With Your Emotional Health

Are you comfortable with your own emotions? Remember, having emotions isn’t the issue, it’s not being able to manage them that can cause problems in relationships. A strong emotional health indicates a maturity and readiness to connect with others on a deeper level.

4. Assess Your Self-Love

Yes, it’s all about loving yourself first! How’s your self-love game? Are you your own biggest cheerleader? If not, maybe it’s time to pump up the self-love before jumping into the dating pool.

As they say in airports – put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. So go ahead, give yourself a pre-relationship check-up. You’re worth it. And remember, readiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey of constant growth and self-improvement. You’ve got this!

What are the common emotional challenges in relationships?

Ready to deep dive into the often hot (and sometimes cold) world of emotional challenges that are as common as subscribing to another streaming service? Buckle up, it’s going to be one heck of a ride!

First on the list is – wait for it – miscommunication! Remember that game of whispers we used to play as kids? Somehow, the cute message of ‘I have pink bubblegum’ ended up as ‘I hid a pink grizzly bear’. Baffling right? Well, relationships can quite often be that game of whispers. The key is to speak up, make your voice heard and, importantly, listen to understand, not just to reply.

Next, let’s chat about expectations. Yes, we’ve all been there. You want your man to resemble Prince Charming and possess psychic abilities. He, on the other hand, desires a mix of Wonder Woman and Martha Stewart (and maybe a dash of Beyoncé?). Reality check – he’s not telepathic, you can’t lasso a plane, and domestic goddess or not, it’s okay to order pizza sometimes. Relationships aren’t about finding someone who meets every expectation (a tall order, indeed!), but building common ground, balancing needs and continuously growing together.

Thirdly, we have conflict. It’s as unavoidable as that annoying ‘skip ad’ button on YouTube. Whether it’s a difference of opinion about the latest ‘Bachelor’ episode or a disagreement about whose turn it is for the dishes, conflicts are part and parcel of any relationship. Remember, it’s not you versus him, it’s both of you versus the problem!

Finally, we come to imbalance of power. Relationships are not a tug of war. They require equal effort and mutual respect. Keeping score or battling for control can exhaust both of you faster than a high-intensity spin class.

Too much to take in?

Take a deep breath, grab that glass of wine, and remember – you’re not alone in these challenges. They are as common as reality TV dramas and just as surmountable. You’ve got this!

Am I Ready for a Relationship? What are the benefits of being emotionally prepared for a relationship?

Well, buckle up! Being emotionally prepared for a relationship is much like having an umbrella in a downpour – it helps keep you dry and lessens the likelihood of catching a cold. Metaphors aside, let’s dive into the tangible perks of being emotionally prepared for a relationship:

  1. Less unnecessary drama: I mean, who wants that? When you’re emotionally ready, you’ll avoid unhealthy patterns such as passive-aggressiveness, endless arguing, or forgiveness charades. Your emotionally matured self won’t let drama dictate your love life. Superwoman much?
  2. Better communication: Yes, you’ll actually understand and articulate your own feelings, and guess what? You’ll be more equipped to understand his feelings too. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?
  3. More fulfilling partnership: An emotionally prepared you equals a partnership that’s satisfying and wholesome. That right there is like the perfect cup of coffee – rich and just the way you like it.
  4. Greater resilience to shake-ups: When you are grounded in your emotional readiness, relationship bumps become less of an earthquake and more of a speed bump. Ready to turn life’s lemons into lemonade?
  5. A secure sense of self: This is the biggie! When you’re emotionally ready, you’ll remain secure in who you are, relationship or not. Think of it like your favorite pair of jeans – always in style and comfortable to boot!

That’s quite the list of superpowers, isn’t it? Being emotionally prepared for a relationship is undeniably worthwhile, adding depth, enjoyment, and satisfaction to the journey. So are you ready to take up the cape?

How can I work on my emotional vulnerabilities before entering a relationship?

Working on emotional vulnerabilities isn’t like climbing Mount Everest, although it can sometimes feel that way, amirite? But I assure you, it’s more like practicing your dorky dances in front of a mirror – self-awareness, self-acceptance, and a little bit of perseverance. So let’s do this!

First things first, acknowledge your emotions. Emotions are like toddler tantrums: the more you ignore them, the louder they get. So, rather than dismissing your fears, insecurities, anxieties – why not invite them over for a cup of tea?

  • Feeling vulnerable? Good, vulnerability is not a weakness, it’s the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. Embrace it!
  • Worried that your baggage will turn your future beau off? Remember, everyone has baggage; it’s all about how you unpack and store it.
  • Scared to open up again? Trust doesn’t come overnight — it’s a process. And like any good facial cream, it takes consistency and patience.

Next, seek professional guidance. Therapists are excellent navigation tools for your emotional journey. (It’s their job, after all.) They’ll help you understand your vulnerabilities, and provide strategies to work through them. No shame in getting a little help to find the “emotional you” GPS!

“We don’t have to do it all alone. We were never meant to.” – Brené Brown

Finally, practice self-compassion. It’s easy to be hard on yourself, isn’t it? Something goes wrong, and you’re the first one to bear the brunt of your criticism. But remember, you’re human. Mistakes, flaws, vulnerabilities… they’re part of the package. The most lovable, darn sexy package!

So start preparing for that wonderful relationship you deserve! And remember, at the end of the day, there’s no rush. Emotional preparedness is a journey, not a finish line.

What are some healthy coping mechanisms for managing emotions in a relationship?

How about we talk about handling those tricky emotions that love can stir up? Remember, it’s not just about the butterflies and the fireworks, there are times when a relationship may set off a storm inside of you. And that’s when you’ll need your emotional lifelines, or as most people call them, coping mechanisms. So, what are some healthy ones? Let’s dive in!

  • Active Listening: Don’t just hear, truly listen. It’s about understanding and empathy. If your partner is speaking, listen with an open heart and mind. Their feelings are as valid as yours, even if they’re different.
  • Problem-Solving: So, maybe there’s a disagreement or problem. Breathe, relax! It’s all part of being in a relationship. Analyze, discuss, come to a solution together, and remember, compromise is your dear friend.
  • Expression of Feelings: Hey, keeping everything bottled up inside? Not a good idea. Why not let them out in a respectful, calm manner? It can do wonders for your relationship trust me.
  • Self-Soothing: On those rough days, allow yourself to step back, practice some self-care, or engage in activities you enjoy. It’s not about ignoring the problem, just about giving yourself a break to recharge.
  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek help. A good friend, a mentor, or even a professional can offer the comfort, advice, or perspective you might need.

Remember, everyone has their moments. Not everyone has the same coping mechanisms, and that’s okay. Find what works for you. And you know what they say, “Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.” So, keep those heads high, and hearts open!

am I ready for a relationship

What are some common misconceptions about emotional readiness for a relationship?

The world is full of misconceptions and misunderstandings, and this is not left out when it comes to emotional readiness for a relationship. Ready to debunk some myths? Strap in, and let’s roll!

  • “Being Single for a Long Time Makes You Ready”: This is like saying that because you’ve been up all night, you’re ready for a marathon. Time alone doesn’t translate to readiness. It’s what you do with that time that matters. Did you sort through emotional baggage? Face some truths about yourself? If yes, you’re on the right track. If not, well, who’s up for some emotional spring cleaning?
  • “Sociability Equals Emotional Readiness”: So, you’re a social butterfly, that’s great! You probably have great communication skills, and that’s a plus, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re emotionally ready for a relationship. It’s the truth! You’ve still got to check if you’re cool with vulnerability, able to manage conflicts, and have a robust sense of self-worth.
  • “Previous Relationship Experience Preps You”: Errm, not exactly! Just because you have been in relationships before doesn’t mean you’re automatically emotionally equipped for a new one. Emotional readiness isn’t a trophy you win after a breakup, it’s a conscious state of mind, continually nurtured.
  • “Your Age Dictates Your Readiness”: This one is as old as time itself and – spoiler alert – it’s not accurate! Age doesn’t come with an automatic emotional readiness code. It’s really all about emotional maturity, and that isn’t a birthday gift!

Now you know! Being emotionally ready for a relationship is a major step, and it’s paramount to separate the facts from the myths. After all, we’re all about the legit info, aren’t we?

Am I Ready for a Relationship? Can I communicate my emotional needs effectively in a relationship?

Alright! You’re ready to enter into the grand world of relationships and you’re probably wondering, how to convey your emotional needs without feeling like you’re asking for the moon and the stars. Fear not, because I’ve got you covered!

First and foremost, it’s essential you understand your own emotional needs.  What makes you tick? What makes you feel most loved and secure? Identifying your personal needs in a relationship is key. Once you can answer those questions, then voila! You’re ready to communicate them.

Now, get ready to have that conversation. It may seem tricky at first, but remember, clear and open communication is a key component of any lasting bond. Trust enough in your partner to discuss your needs openly and honestly, and be receptive in turn to their needs as well. That’s what we call a good old-fashioned heart-to-heart!

“Help! He’s not a mind-reader!”

True, he’s not. That’s why expressing yourself clearly is so important. Use “I feel” statements and avoid laying blame. Communicate your feelings honestly, but tactfully.

“Shouldn’t I keep some feelings to myself?”

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to spill your deepest, darkest secrets on the first date. However, it does mean being willing to share your feelings and needs when pertinent. A relationship flourishes when both parties feel secure enough to be vulnerable, truly heard and supported.

One more thing, practice makes perfect! So, go ahead, flex those conversational muscles and embrace the kind of communication that leads to meaningful connections.

How can I overcome fear or anxiety about entering a new relationship?

Following the sizzling sparks of a budding romance can feel thrilling, wouldn’t you agree? But hold your horses! It’s perfectly normal if those butterflies in your stomach flutter into fleet-footed fear or anxiety about a fresh liaison. Fear not and fasten your seatbelts; we’re going to help you navigate this emotional rollercoaster.

Say Hello! to the perpetrator – your sneaky brain, drumming up worst-case scenarios. And just for good measure, toss in a sprinkle of emotional baggage from the past. Suddenly, diving headfirst into a hot, sizzling tub of new love seems about as appealing as a cold shower, right?

But how can you overcome these lovelorn jitters? Let’s break it down:

  1. Identify Your Fears: Just like your favorite murder mystery novel, the first step is to identify the suspect. What exactly are you afraid of? Is it fear of rejection, or the haunting fear of repeating past mistakes? Putting a finger on your fears can help you understand them better.
  2. Open Up About Your Fears: Scared is the new cool! Seriously though, there’s no bravery without fear, and being open up about your worries to trusted friends or a professional counselor (think of them as your relationship weather forecasters) can liberate and enlighten you.
  3. Practice Mindfulness: You know that friend who always reminds you to “live in the present”? Now’s the time to listen. Engage in mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, or even a relaxing walk in the park. These mini breaks offer a breather from the fear frenzy and recenter your emotional compass.
  4. Stay Positive: A dash of positivity can add an incredible zing to this cocktail of emotions. Catch up with uplifting friends, indulge in some feel-good music or a movie. Heck, do a little dance if it makes you happy. Remember, you’re in control of your narrative!
  5. Give it Time: Pacing yourself is vital, just like that time when you burnt your tongue because you couldn’t resist that slice of pizza. It’s okay not to carry the relationship equivalent of the Olympic torch on day one; relationships are marathons, not sprints.

Finally, remember that emotions, much like that impulse buy neon top in your closet, should never be ignored, no matter how uncomfortable they make you feel. Hold onto your tiara, and embrace the journey of self-discovery!

How can I maintain my emotional independence while being in a relationship?

All right, let’s dive into it. Emotional independence while being in a lovey-dovey relationship? Is that even possible? Absolutely! By practicing emotional independence, you avoid relying completely on your partner for emotional stability, and likewise, you don’t become the default emotional crutch for your partner. Hey presto! Your relationship will thank you.

But how can I do this? you might ask. So glad you’re curious. Here’s how:

  1. Preserve your individuality: We’ve all seen those couples who seem to merge into one, right? You know, the sort who only ever talks about “we” and never “I”. Don’t fall into that trap! Remember to keep a hold of your individual experiences, passions and preferences. It’s part of what makes you, well, you.
  2. Spend Time Alone: Oh dear, does that sound ominous? It shouldn’t. Even when you’re in a relationship, it’s healthy to spend some time apart. Yes, that means you. Whether it’s immersing yourself in a good book, taking a yoga class, or going for a walk – cherish your alone time.
  3. Establish Emotional Boundaries: This bit’s crucial. While sharing is caring, we don’t need to share absolutely everything. Your emotions are yours. Sometimes they need to stay yours. Don’t feel obliged to share every single feeling or thought with your partner, and vice versa. It’s perfectly okay, and healthy, to keep some things to yourself.
  4. Support Independence in Your Partner: Just as you need your emotional independence, so does your partner. Encourage their individuality. Support their hobbies and interests. Remember, love is about respect for each other’s unique selves.
  5. Maintain Social Connections: Don’t forget your friends when you’re in a relationship. Going out for a girls’ night, hitting the gym with your bros or brunching with your bestie – they’re all good for the soul. Plus, you’ve got to have some gossip for your next romantic dinner, right?

There you have it. Just a smattering of ways to maintain your emotional independence while sailing in the sea of love. Remember, a relationship is about two unique and independent individuals choosing to embark on a shared journey together. So, stay true to yourself! You’re fabulous just as you are, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

Wrapping Up: Am I Ready for a Relationship?

So, you’ve gone through a whirlwind of self-exploration and introspection in order to determine your emotional readiness, haven’t you? Now, it’s time for the grand question. Drum roll, please… Are you ready for a relationship?

This isn’t about finding the ‘perfect’ moment or needing to be a ‘perfect’ person. Absolutely not! Nobody’s perfect. But it’s about knowing you inside and out, and having a clear understanding of your emotional health and what you can bring into a relationship.

Now relax, this isn’t an exam. Relationships aren’t pass or fail. They’re experiences, lessons, and sometimes happiness in one neat little package. Okay, it’s rarely ever neat, but you catch my drift.

Remember, being emotionally ready doesn’t imply that you won’t encounter challenges or face difficulties in your relationship. But a strong emotional footing does equip you to deal with such hurdles in a healthier and more balanced way. So, bottoms up to emotional preparation!

But hey, if you’ve read this far and you’re thinking ‘I’m not quite there yet’, that’s okay. It’s better to realize this now and continue working on yourself than to dive into a relationship unprepared. You are your top priority, remember that.

And, if you’ve read this far and you believe ‘Yes, I am emotionally ready. I’m excited and a little scared but definitely ready’, well, look at you go!

Sending fabulous, emotionally-ready vibes your way. Here’s to you, to self-discovery, and to the wonderful world of dating! You’ve got this!

Dating Over 40: Middle Aged and Kickin It

Dating Over 40: Middle Aged and Kickin It

Whether you’re just divorced or are pulling your head up above your career-focused life, dating over 40 can feel very daunting and challenging. If you’re just out of a relationship, you’re experiencing not only the feelings of loss, but also the angst of wondering if and when you’ll find someone new.

If you’ve been career-focused for the last few years, that’s okay, but you most likely still have the anxiety associated with dating, along with a few stigmas and myths about dating over 40.

Rest assured that I’ve got all aspects of this covered for you today! First, we’ll talk about those myths of dating over 40 and determine if any of them have any validity.

Then, we’ll look at how you should approach this new dating life you seek.

Finally, I’ll share some common mistakes women over 40 make when entering or re-entering the dating scene.

I’m ready if you are!

Dating over 40 Myths

Myth #1: All the Good Men are Taken

Whether you’re looking online or in person, this simply isn’t true. Are there slimeballs out there? Yes! BUT, if you’re a confident woman when your stilettos hit the dating scene, those slimeballs will steer clear of you.

The truth is that if you go into dating assuming that all the men you find are not good men, that’s exactly what you will find.

Great men can sniff out a jaded woman from fifty paces, just like they won’t approach a woman who lacks confidence, so going into dating over 40 with this mindset will indeed cause you find only slimeballs, but not because the great men aren’t out there. They’re just avoiding you because they see you very clearly.

The truth is that there are millions of single men over 40 and they’re looking for the same thing you are, a healthy, happy relationship.

Of course, there are those out there who are catfishing and you need to learn how to be on the lookout for them, but going into it thinking that every man is a schmuck won’t get you anywhere.

Myth #2: I’ll Only Date THESE Men and I’ll be Fine

If you’ve been in a relationship or two, you’ve likely also been bitten by a bad relationship or two. This often causes you to form a list that goes something like this:

  • I’ll only date college-educated men
  • My man must have a professional degree (doctor, lawyer, etc.)
  • I’ll only date men who are six feet tall or taller
  • I won’t date men with children
  • Men who ride motorcycles are OUT
  • The man I date must be a true gentleman

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. While it’s fine to have a list of things you’re looking for in a man, it can also fix the situation so no man will ever meet your criteria. This is actually your dating fear hard at work.

Create a list. Go ahead. I encourage it. But make this list with knowledge and be flexible. Go back through your past relationships and make two lists – one of things you liked about each man, and one of things you didn’t like about each man. Find the things that repeat on those lists, like college education or profession.

Those are your guidelines. They aren’t hard and fast rules. There will be one or two must-have and must-not-have items on your list, but don’t make every item a must.

The man you’re attracted to may surprise you, but you’ll never find him if you aren’t flexible.

Also, don’t include too many superficial items, like how they look or how much money they make.

Think of your own values and goals in life. If you value hard work, you’ll want someone who does also, regardless of the color of his hair. If you want to retire at fifty-five and travel the world, a family man might not work out very well.

Myth #3: All Men in Online Dating are Liars

Whenever you use all or nothing phrasing, you’re asking for trouble. Not all men in the online dating world are liars, well, not about the big stuff anyway. Lying on a dating profile can probably best be described in degrees.

Everyone lies about the last ten pounds, hoping that when you meet, it won’t matter. Everyone posts the absolute best picture of themselves, regardless of the fact that it was taken five years ago. Generally speaking, those lies are harmless enough.

What you need to look out for are men who try to pull a fast one on you to get money from you. Hopefully, you already know not to send money to a stranger, and yes, he is a stranger. I don’t care how many emails and messages you swap, he’s a stranger.

Dating Over 40 Myth #4: I’ll Lose Myself

It’s so easy to get comfortable in the life you’ve built, and a common misperception is that if you start dating, you’ll lose who you have worked so hard to become.

This is a low-confidence fear centered around not having enough boundaries to protect that woman you’re working so hard to become.

Before entering the dating scene, it’s important that you build that dating confidence and learn what boundaries are necessary to help you maintain your sense of self.

We attract people who are most like us, so if you want to attract kind, confident men, then you must become that woman. The boundaries you set will help you hold onto your confidence and kindness, or whatever other attributes you find important. This goes back to that values conversation we had a little bit above.

Determine what your values are and live up to them. Set goals around them and work toward those goals. Set boundaries around those values and protect your journey to achieve your goals.

You won’t lose yourself in the right man. The right man will join you on your journey, value many of the same things you do, and help you maintain the many layers that make you the woman you are.

Myth #5: I’m Not Good Enough

This is another low confidence, low self-esteem myth. I read a phrase that rings true in this situation – it’s called obsessive comparison disorder. This is when you spend too much time comparing yourself to others.

Nobody has traveled the road you’ve been on. Nobody is exactly like you, so comparing yourself to anyone else is like comparing apples to oranges. It’ll never work, but if your self-esteem is low, it will always confirm your beliefs that you aren’t good enough.

Let me ask you this. What aren’t you good enough for? You’re certainly good enough to have happiness. You’re absolutely good enough to be worthy of a great man, and I know without a doubt that you’re good enough to deserve a loving relationship.

But you won’t believe me, and if these types of thoughts are banging around in your head on a regular basis, it might be worthwhile to seek professional help. These thoughts usually originate somewhere else – like a parent who always told you that you weren’t good enough when you were growing up, either in words or by their actions. It can also come from dating verbally abusive men in your past.

Regardless of the source, a professional can often help you overcome those thought processes and set you on a course of happiness.

Dating Over 40 Myth #6: I Have Too Much Baggage

Imagine a great man who was handsome, has the same values as you, has similar life goals, and seems confident and solid introduced himself to you. If you found out a few dates in that he has two kids, an ex-wife, and a demanding job, would you dump him, just because of those things?

Unless you totally hate kids, you’re probably saying, “Heck NO Gregg! Send me that guy!”

So why do you think having those same things in your life makes you unattractive to a man? Men in their forties don’t expect you to be a twenty-year-old teenager with a perfect body, no kids, and all the time in the world to dote on them.

Most men in their forties are just like you – looking for love the second time around. Sure, one or two of them might be looking for a much younger girl, but even those men often learn that a twenty-year-old isn’t all she’s cracked up to be.

The truth is that your baggage isn’t any heavier than that of most other people your age. Young people also have baggage, just different baggage. If something comes up, focus on what you learned from the experience, instead of the negatives of the event. A confident man will appreciate the learning experience.

Dating After 40: A New Approach

Step One: Take Some Time Off

While your gut, and maybe your Aunt Mary, are telling you to get right back out there and find a new guy, that’s your insecurity talking.

You’re better off to take some time off to heal and to prepare yourself for love again first. The sooner you rush back in, the more likely you are to find the wrong types of men.

Step Two: Check and Rebuild Your Confidence

If you were to evaluate your confidence right now, what would you say it is? Low, medium, or high?

Maybe if I give you a definition of confidence, you’ll be better able to assess it.

Confidence is feeling sure of yourself and your abilities, not to the point of arrogance, but in a realistic and secure way.

By definition, you can have high confidence in some areas of your life and lower confidence in others. For example, if you’re a great artist, your confidence in your artistic ability is probably pretty high, but if you’ve been through a few bad relationships, your dating confidence may be low.

So, if I ask you again now, what’s your confidence, and I narrow it down to dating, what is your reply?

Once you assess where your confidence is, you can boost it as needed. Each area of your life will be a little different as far as bringing your confidence up, but if you work on yourself in general, you will find that it raises across the board.

For example, if you really want to work on your dating confidence, get a friend and go out for an evening to a place where you believe you’ll see single men. This might be a local pub or a jazz club. It might be a volunteer opportunity or some other type of event, like a wine tasting.

The key for this outing isn’t to get a date, but merely to bring yourself to smile at a few men who interest you. If someone walks by and says “Hello,” it’s okay to reply with a quick hello. All you’re looking for here are a few innocent interactions.

Step Three to Dating Over 40: Be Patient

Dating isn’t a sprint, it’s a cross country stroll. Men and women view dating in very different ways, much like they view everything else.

Don’t rush the process. Linger and enjoy it. Dating is meant to be fun, but we often put too much pressure on ourselves, and it makes it more like a chore.

Be patient. If you’ve built your confidence, you’ve put an armor around yourself to deflect the losers and players. Once they sense your confidence, they’ll avoid you and move on to an easier target. The confident men you’re trying to attract will be drawn to you.

But don’t find one guy and latch on for dear life. Date several men at once and figure out what you really want. I know this goes against what you think, but you don’t have a commitment to these men yet and I guarantee that they’re dating other women.

This also means not applying pressure to become exclusive too soon. Dating should be fun. The sole purpose of dating is to figure out if you’re a good match and to learn more about one another.  Too often, many women view each date as a step toward the alter. Drop that mindset and just enjoy the process.

Get to know the men you choose to date. Do fun things on dates instead of dinner dates. Go hiking, bowling, to a sporting event, or whatever activities interest you. These are real life activities where you can see how he responds to real life situations.

But most of all, be patient. Don’t rush things. Date several men and slowly weed out those who don’t feel like a good fit. Most importantly, never give a man the right to have sex with you until he’s proven himself worthy of you!

Step Four: Try New Things

You’re single now. It’s time to branch out! And don’t tell me you can’t because you have kids. If they spend time with their father, you have that time. If they don’t, you can always trade babysitting with a friend or ask a family member to watch them for you.

Try new hobbies. Learn a new skill. Plan a trip, even if it’s just for a day, to explore new places. What have you always wanted to try but you’ve been afraid to do? It’s now time to go for it!

This gives you another benefit. You’re adding chapters to your story, and exciting chapters at that! No, a man might not be interested in quilting, but he’ll be fascinated by the process of cutting large pieces of fabric into small pieces, only to put them back together into another large piece. He’ll be totally intrigued by how you get the wick to stand up in a candle.

When you go out on dates, you have these new experiences to share, and that makes you mysterious.

When men date, they date to have fun. When they meet a woman, the best thing about her is often that she’s a complete mystery. Men love to unravel the mystery, one bit at a time and coming to a date with the news that you just tried scuba diving for the first time or that you walked three chihuahuas, a beagle, a German shepherd, and four yorkies earlier in the day will fully intrigue him.

Step Five of Dating Over 40: Get Up to Date

If you haven’t been in the dating scene in a few years, you need to realize that things have changed. The longer you’ve been out of dating, the more things have changed.

This isn’t just true about dating apps either. Dating in general has also changed, for better or worse in some cases. Men don’t always come to pick you up for a date – you meet at the venue. This is a good thing if you’re meeting someone from an online dating site, but it’s also a good idea for the guy you met last week while watching football at the pub.

Ask your friends who’ve been dating for a while how to navigate the dating scene today. Read up on the assorted apps so you know which ones are for hookups only and which ones are more about what you want.

Other Tips on Dating Over 40

Don’t Follow ‘Old Fashioned’ Etiquette

Back in the day, a woman sat and waited on a man to reach out to her. That’s one of those things you need to get up to date on.

Women reach out now. Whether it’s in person or online, it’s okay for you to approach a man you’re interested in.

Don’t just put a profile online and wait for men to reach out. Put up a profile and then start winking, giving a thumbs up, or whatever to men you find appealing.

If you’re out with your friends, don’t be afraid to offer to buy a man a drink or challenge him to a game of pool. This is a show of confidence and strength that a confident man will admire.

Don’t Say “Yes” to Every Inquiry

Yes, I told you to date other men and yes, I just said you should be proactive, but that doesn’t mean you should say yes to every inquiry a man makes.

Every man who reaches out on an online dating app won’t be for you, and just because you find a man visually appealing doesn’t mean he won’t turn out to be a frog later.

You’re under no obligation to date anyone. Even if a guy buys you a drink, it doesn’t mean you owe him anything, just like you buying a man a drink doesn’t mean he owes you anything. Never let a man, or anyone for that matter, pressure you into something your gut is saying no to.

Saying “Yes” to everything also will exhaust you. While it’s important for you to get back out there, it’s also important for you to maintain the singles life you’re building, even when you start dating just one guy.

Set aside time for hobbies and time with your friends and keep that time, even after Mr. Wonderful comes into your life (and let him keep those things for himself too).

Don’t Make Elaborate Date Plans

I mentioned earlier that dates should be fun. Yes, the traditional date is a dinner or coffee, but that doesn’t provide you with the privacy you need to get to know one another, nor does it give you a good glimpse into who you each are.

Plan a date in public where you can do something fun together and still be visible to others, without having people breathing down your neck. I mentioned bowling before. This is a great first date because it’s something very few people are good at, so you can easily get caught up in laughing at your abilities or using bumpers to keep from throwing gutter balls.

You’re out in public, but you have your own lane, many offer food and beverages, so you can still eat if you want, and you get to know his personality under more ‘natural’ circumstances.

Look at Early Dates as Meetings

This is especially true if you’re meeting someone you met online. Set a time limit of maybe thirty minutes for the date. Agree to meet in a public place, and then stick to your guns.

This isn’t a date, regardless of what verbiage you use when you plan it. Try to keep using the words meeting and meet instead of date. This sets a different expectation.

It is a meeting where you get together with your new friend and determine what, if any, chemistry may be between you. Enjoy a tea or coffee and relax. If you don’t like him or he doesn’t like you, it’s okay. It’s a meeting, not a lifetime commitment.

If you view your first few dates in this way, it will take some of the pressure off of the experience and will help you be less emotional during the meeting. This, in turn, helps you use our logical thought processes instead of emotional.

Don’t Rush into Sharing Your New Beau with Your Kids

Your kids are not dating your new guy, but they will ultimately. Still, this doesn’t mean you invite someone you’ve known for two weeks to meet your children.

For one thing, you should be dating multiple men at this point, and parading multiple men in front of your kids is a poor example for them to see.

Wait until you know a man before you introduce him to your kids. While there’s no specific timeline for this, you should at least wait a couple of months.

Of course, I’m assuming also that you didn’t get divorced last week and now you’re dating someone new. You’ve taken some time off and rebuilt your confidence first. In doing this, you also give your children time to adjust.

Be Patient with Sex

Insecurity forces women to have sex with men sooner than they should. Any man who makes it seem like you either must have sex with him or lose him altogether is worth losing.

A great man may insinuate that he wants to have sex with you, but he will respect you more if you make him wait and earn it.

No, you won’t lose him, and if you do, good riddance. He’s not the great guy you thought he was.

The exception, of course, is if you’re just in it for hookups, but I’m assuming that if you’re here, that’s not what your ultimate goal is.

Wait until your relationship is headed in a good direction. You’ve weeded out the other men and you’re feeling pretty good about this guy being a keeper, at least for now.

A man will respect you if you make him wait. It shows him that you respect yourself and have boundaries. Those are both good things!

Trust Your Gut!

Your intuition is your best friend. If your gut is telling you there’s something hinky about a guy, listen. Chances are that your intuition is right.

Too many times, we ignore our gut instincts, only to later wish we’d listened. I’m sure if you think back, you can recall a few of those instances in your own life.

Don’t Get Upset with His Outside Life

Now that you’re in your forties, your life is more complex. When you were in college, you had your studies and maybe a part-time job to worry about.

Today, you may have children, professional obligations, workout routines, and hobbies that keep you busy.

So do men.

If a man tells you he can’t meet with you at a desired time, it’s okay, unless it becomes a habit. Things happen. Plans with the kids change, work demands creep in, and other things come up.

Additionally, you might not be the night owl you once were, and neither is he. Dinner at seven might be too close to bedtime for both of you.

Just don’t try to read between the lines if he changes your plans. It might mean that he legitimately has something else he needs to do.

Dating Over 40: That’s a Wrap!

Dating over 40 might seem like a scary thing, but if you take some time to regroup, rebuild your confidence, and are patient with the process, you’ll thank yourself later!

Dating requires patience, regardless of your age, and confident women will always draw confident men into their orbit.

If you’re patient, you build a life outside of dating, you will find true happiness and a rewarding relationship.

5 Dating Advantages of Being an Introvert

5 Dating Advantages of Being an Introvert

Do you consider yourself an introvert? If so, you know we introverts aren’t necessarily shy. Many of us have our moments, where we do just fine mingling at a party or other large social setting.

But once we get back home, we can finally relax and regroup on our own (insert sigh of relief here). We can deal with crowds and noisy venues if we must, but we prefer quieter, solitary activities and more intimate relationships.

We like deep conversations (small talk drives us nuts). We’re analytical. We’re great listeners. We’re also mysterious and passionate about life.

Virtue and trust rank high on our list of qualities we look for in a man. And we are selective when it comes to friends (and boyfriends). We don’t share our lives with just anyone.

But in a dating world filled with extroverts saying, “Look at me!” how can we possibly stand out?

We have a lot of fine qualities, but still — we are certainly less outspoken, definitely more reserved. You would think being an introvert would be a disadvantage when it comes to dating — but it’s not!

Guys love introverted women for so many reasons! Introverts are not wed to a life of being single. Yes, we introverts can stand on our own. But we don’t have to!

It’s time to use our unique traits to our advantage in the dating world. We can compete with extroverts without sacrificing or changing who we are!

In Be Quiet and Date Me: Dating for Introverts in a World That Never Stops Talking, Gregg gives us the tools to navigate the dating world as an introvert, and gives the confidence we need to truly feel like a woman of value. Here are five dating advantages to being an introvert.

#1 Introverts have the ability to build strong interpersonal relationships

We have a greater need for intimacy, and we develop strong bonds within our small circle. We care about the people in our lives and take the time to learn about who they really are as a person.

Extroverts probably have lots more friends than we do, but likely not as many close friends. Our ability to build strong interpersonal relationships with our friends can be a real asset when it comes to finding a soul mate to live happily ever after with.

#2 Introverts really listen

Extroverts talk loudly over people to get their point across, and quickly move from subject to subject. We are careful listeners and deep thinkers — attractive qualities to the opposite sex. We process the information we hear, and wait our turn.

We never interrupt a conversation. But when we do talk, people WANT to listen in the same way we do, because they know what we say will be worthwhile. We may not always be the life of the party, but we are masters at real conversation. Being an introvert is a true gift!

#3 Introverts truly care

We introverts are great at remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. We care about others more than we care about ourselves. Being thoughtful is a great trait to have, and keeps us out of trouble.

How many times have you gotten upset with a guy for being selfish and forgetful? Introverts are also quick to sense feelings. We know when someone is upset and we care enough do something about it. We are also adept at thinking outside the box — our unorthodox creativity helps us navigate through the tough times in a relationship.

#4 Introverts act carefully

Introverts think situations through before we act or speak…. always. Instead of going on a gut instinct and or saying something impulsive that we regret later, we make decisions slowly and more carefully and take the time to formulate our words. And when we do mess up, we can admit we are wrong! Now that’s the key to a successful relationship!

#5 Introverts prefer quality over quantity

We may not be the most popular girl at the party, but we are truly loved within our small, close-knit circle of friends. Because of our caring nature and good attributes, we are well suited to focus on one guy, and really take the time and effort to build a quality relationship that will stand the test of time. And that’s what matters most on the path to love!

Kind of makes you wonder if we would all be better off being more introverted? Just another deep thought for us to ponder….

5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

How to Know if You Found the Right Guy?

In To Date a Man, You Must Understand A Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy, Gregg says, “Cast a net off your boat and fill your bucket with men. Then throw back the losers and keep a few in your koi pond.” So how do you know if you should reel him in or cast him overboard?

It’s Tiffany today to remind you that you are the CHOOSER! It’s all up to you to decide whether or not he’s a keeper. And it’s not that hard to figure out, once you have the right gear. I’m not talking fishing poles and actual nets, but solid tools and rules to follow on your journey to catch Mr. Right.

Write It Down

So, you’ve been on a few dates and you have him firmly in your net. Before you go any farther, stop and write down at least ten sentences that detail exactly how you want to be treated by a guy.

Do you want a man who puts you first? Someone who makes you laugh? Someone respectful? Thoughtful? Romantic? Once you have a solid ten, narrow it down to a good three to five items that are non-negotiable.

Now promise yourself you will not fall for the guy unless he proves — consistently, through his actions — that he is the quality man you are looking for. No exceptions. If he doesn’t realistically meet your standards, cast him overboard.

Take A Step Back

When we are really into someone, we tend to view everything with blinders on. It’s hard to assess the relationship clearly when we only see the good. But is he truly a decent guy?

Or is he just hot, without any real substance? In Who Holds The Cards Now? 5 Lethal Steps to Win His Heart and Get Him to Commit, Gregg Michaelsen advises us to slow down and take a step back to discover his true worth.

This is especially important before sex gets in the way, and clouds our minds even more. Remember, YOU hold the cards. Keep it in lock-down mode until you are sure he is a man of value.

Have Your Friends Meet Him

You may have blinders on, but your friends surely don’t! Good girlfriends have your back, and can help you see if he’s the real deal, or just a blowfish. Try not to get defensive when they give you their unbiased opinion.

Listen to what they have to say and trust that they want what’s best for you. If the guy isn’t all that, they can help you give him the heave ho. Cast him overboard. But if they think you found the right guy, reel him in!

Is He Mr. Right?

Meet His Friends

This can be a real game changer. If he doesn’t want you to meet his buddies, there is something wrong. Cast him overboard. If he wants you to meet his buddies, and wants to show you off — great! Take this time to find out what they have to say about your man.

Do they respect him? Is he a reliable, stand up guy? Or is he a girl chaser? Is he a slob? Also pay attention to how your man behaves in this situation. Is he attentive to you? Is he confident and relaxed? Does he put you first? Or is he always siding with the guys? Is he nervous? Insecure? Clingy? Is he crudely checking out other girls? Is he an obnoxious drunk?

Does his personality change in a negative way when he’s with his crew? Remember, if his friends are immature, or if they are all players, chances are he is too. If you find that’s the case, get rid of him — fast!

Follow Your Intuition

Does he make excuses all the time? Does he fail to step up when you need him? Is he too busy to meet your family and friends? Is he controlling? Self-centered? Rude? These are all red flags!

Whatever the behavior may be, if it gives you those uneasy vibes, it’s wrong! When in doubt, follow your intuition. We women are famous for it, so use it — and lose him. Cast him overboard!

On your way to “The One,” you are bound to catch a few bad fish. But remember, there are plenty of men in the sea, so keep casting your net and reel in the good ones! Who knows, you might just score the catch of a lifetime!

Hi, I’m Tiffany — the new girl! Gregg has summoned my powers to help his blog grow by leaps and bounds. Gregg, Kirbie and I will help bring you the complete gamut of ideas, solutions and issues we all face in the name of love.

Why We Might Want to Date like They Did in the 70’s

Why We Might Want to Date like They Did in the 70’s

Dating Now vs Then – How has Dating Changed Over Time?

Today’s dating arena has changed a great deal from dating 40 years ago. Leaving out the obvious Internet factor, relationship seekers seem to have much less patience now than they did back then.

They knew how to communicate with one another and they knew how to enjoy one another’s company.

Gregg here for today’s blog post…

I was just a boy in the early 70’s – born in the early 60’s, so I didn’t much get into the whole dating scene of that era, but when I look back now, it seems as if those who were of dating age might have been doing something right.

How has Dating Changed Over Time

Dating in the 70s!

In the 70’s, you met someone for the first time face-to-face. Yes, there were blind dates, but it began as a connection made through someone you knew. You might have a couple of dates in a week, and they were with different women. This notion that you had to date one person exclusively from first date to break-up was nearly unheard of.

In the 70’s, you communicated with a woman in one of two ways – either by phone or in person. There were no text messages or emails to hide behind. There was no Facebook to use as your personal tirade banner when someone was not living up to your expectations.

How often have you said something to someone in a text or email, only to have them misunderstand what you were saying – it’s called the “tone” of the email, easily and often misinterpreted.

Someone ends up hacked off, usually for no good reason. When you are speaking on the phone or in person, the tone is there. If you’re angry, you sound angry. If you’re happy, you’re smiling. A couple of cute emoticons cannot make up for that.

Date like They Did in the 70’s

In the 70’s, a date meant going to a restaurant for dinner, or maybe a social gathering of friends, a local community play, bowling or perhaps you’d go play cards or some sort of game with friends. Now-a-days, we have high expectations for a date.

We want the fancy restaurant with the high-priced meal and a ‘special’ night. We are no longer complacent to just enjoy the company of the person we are with. In the 70’s, it was more about having fun with someone than trying to impress or be impressed.

date like they did in the 70's

Ah the 70’s!

Today, we get too emotionally involved too soon. Women, especially those who lack confidence, find themselves sleeping with a new man on the first or second date, which raises the emotional stakes through the roof – for women anyway.

For men, this puts you out of the ‘potential wife’ category and into the ‘fun to be with but not marriage material’ category. They’re going to dump a woman like this, and the woman will never understand it – after all, they had sex. Doesn’t that mean something?

Dating Now vs Then

There’s something to be said for having a relationship in person. I’m not condemning online dating at all, in fact, for many, this may be the best way to meet someone today. What I am saying, though, is that having a relationship, especially at first, that includes texting and emailing, can be a dangerous prospect.

Rather than putting your happiness or sadness up on Facebook or Tweeting about it, maybe you should give your guy a phone call and meet him for coffee somewhere. Live. In person. Without technology.

I will tell men the same. Call the girl you fancy. Pick her up in an actual car. Knock on the door. Maybe bring her flowers! Yeah, let’s get back to dating like they did in the 70’s!

9 Ways to Make a Killer First Impression on the First Date

9 Ways to Make a Killer First Impression on the First Date

These 9 Tips will Guarantee a Second Date!

The first date doesn’t have to be nerve-wracking. With these 9 first date tips for women, you’ll totally crush it!

As a dating coach, I get a ton of questions about how to make a great first impression on a first date. The trick, of course, is mastering the art of confidence, something that I teach in all of my books.

However, if you have the confidence, and just need a little push in the right direction, these 9 first date tips for women will help out your dating game dramatically.

First Date Tips for Women Tip #1: Look Em’ In the Eyes!

First date tips

Yes, it’s tough to maintain eye contact, especially when you’re the one talking. The more dates you go on, the easier this gets. My advice is to maintain almost 100% eye contact when he’s talking, no matter what.

You can look at his other facial features but come back to his eyes. Even if a waiter comes along, let him finish what he’s saying before shifting your focus and ordering.

I’m amazed at how many women won’t look at their date intently. If you’re looking at your phone or other people he can’t make the connection to you.

When you look at the facial features of a man while he talks, you are indirectly stroking his ego. That’s a good thing!

Tip #2: Keep the Skin to a Minimum

Wear a dress that shows off your body without showing a ton of skin. If you come to a date wearing a miniskirt that’s barely covering your butt, he’ll get distracted and probably think about sex the entire date.

Unless that’s what you want (meaning you don’t want the relationship to last very long) I’d stray away from showing off too much cleavage and leg.

Top Tip #1: Guys will be mentally undressing you throughout the date! This isn’t a creepy thing, it’s just how we are wired. We don’t need to see skin for this to happen – in fact it’s better without it.

Top Tip #2: On the second date, wear jeans if you wore a skirt or wear a skirt if you wore jeans on the first date. This will allow us to your wonderful curves in a new light.

First Date Tips For Women Tip #3: Make the First Date an Event, Not a Sit-Down Pow-Wow

how to have a successful first date with a man

Go ahead and sit down for a few minutes to get acquainted. Then have a plan prepared in case he doesn’t. Grab some coffee and hit the park, visit a museum, do something that you share a common interest in.

Most first dates are sit-down affairs where you chat and wait for your food. You’re relying too much on guess-work conversation starters that may or may not keep the chat-momentum going.

By getting active, away from the sit down date, you start to see the more spontaneous side of each of you! I remember playing mini-golf with a date and we had a ball. There were no awkward moments because our attention was focused on the windmill.

We were both doing the worm on our backs and yelling “in your face!” when we won the hole. That was so much fun, she is my girlfriend today!

Tip #4: Avoid the Need to Show Off

We all want to show off our best side during a first date but there’s a fine line between looking interesting and trying too hard.

You may be a master snowboarder and you think that would score you some major points if you tell him, but don’t blurt it out unless you can either steer the conversation in that direction or he mentions something related to it.

how to act on a first date

Instead, latch on to his passion! Ask him, “Jeff, I saw your surfing pics on FB, you any good?” Then, watch him light up with excitement because you noticed. Now he equates his love with surfing to you.

Need some topics for discussion? Here are 100 things to talk about with your future boyfriend!

First Date Tips For Women Tip #5: Never Tell All

When you tell your whole life story to someone on a first date, it takes away from the mystery of meeting a new person. Instead of focusing on generalities of your entire life, focus on the details of a few particular things.

If you’ve traveled the world and he asks you where you’ve been, don’t tick off a list of places, focus on one and describe it in detail.

good first dates

Be coy and tell him you’ve been to only a fraction of the places you want to go to, then ask him where he’s been.

Then, on later dates, you can surprise him every time you bring up a new place you’ve been to.

First Date Tip #6: Say Thank You

I know this one is obvious, but I’ve been on a lot of dates, and many women just don’t think to do this. If he opens the door for you, say thank you. If he picks you up, say thanks for picking me up.

At the end of the date, say thanks for dinner. It’s a simple thing that makes a huge difference!

There is another reason to say thank you. Men are very protective of their money in case you didn’t know. Therefore, we are always on the look out for the gold-digger. By saying thank you, you neutralize this concern dramatically by showing appreciation.

First Date Tips for Women Tip #7: No, Really, Turn Your Phone Off

Most advice columns tell you to avoid texting on the phone during a date, even if it’s a bad date. I’m saying go a step further and turn it off completely. No one needs you for an hour-and-a-half and you’ll be less tempted to sneak a peek at a text someone just shot you.

what to talk about on a first date 

Just do it. I guarantee that you will separate yourself from all other dates he might have had.

Tip #8: Keep Your Drama Far Away

He’s your first date, not your husband or your best friend. Keep negative comments and your own frustrations out of the conversation at all costs.

Stay positive. If you have to, air out your dirty laundry over the phone with a friend beforehand. You’ll be less likely to mention it in passing during the date.

If you start beating down your ex in front of me, I am turning on my phone – looking for my next date!

First Date Tip #9: Smile!

first date tips

In a study done by the University of Columbia, women who smile are much more attractive to men than women who don’t. There you go, scientifically proven to help get a man to fall in love with you! Smile on your date and the guy will love you for it.

Smiling leads to laughing and laughing together makes for a memorable date! My (future) girlfriend and I were laughing our butts off playing mini-golf!

Final Thoughts:

Follow all nine of these first date tips for women and I guarantee you’ll make a good first impression. Great first date impressions can be game changers.

You’ll need to connect with a guy to make one, and that requires similar personalities, similar interests, and similar levels of confidence. Do this and your date is gonna’ like you!

Don’t get too caught up if a date doesn’t work out. One door might close, but another one will open.

Remember,  I’ve got some of the best dating books for women that will help you on that first date and beyond!

5 Things Guys “Forget” to Mention in an Online Dating Profile

5 Things Guys “Forget” to Mention in an Online Dating Profile

Whether you think these omissions are intentional or not, there are certain things guys forget to mention in an online profile. I recently stumbled across a Cornell University poll on online dating. One of the biggest numbers that jumped out at me was 80% – the number of online daters who say they have lied on at least one dating website. These lies vary from shaving off a few pounds to completely falsifying their age.

Let’s take a few moments to go over the most common fibs you’re likely to see. Some are mildly harmless, while others are definitely cause to forget the dude altogether.

Profile Lie #1: He weighs a few more pounds than he says he does…

A guy is as likely to lie about his weight as a woman is, but probably not in a way that would cause you to notice if you met him. He will put a flattering picture of himself on his profile that is a few years old – you know, before he packed on those additional pounds. My advice is if you meet him for lunch and he’s a serious 25-30+ pounds over what he claimed, then you may want to avoid that second date. That’s a whale of a fib and he’s probably got more up his sleeve.

Profile Lie #2: He’s traveled less than he says he has

Sorry, but airport layovers don’t count as travel destinations. All the same, it is not stopping your new friend across the table from saying he’s been to half the states in the continental U.S.

Profile Lie #3: He’s probably lying about his job

Guys always feel they have a lot to prove when it comes to their jobs and income. In fact, he’s as genuinely concerned about his job as he is about his appearance. Chances are he’ll add in an important-sounding title, something like “Co-Director of Marketing,” when in fact he’s working an entry level gig for 30 G’s a year. And unfortunately, unlike his weight, you can’t tell on a first date whether his profile is telling the truth or not.

Profile Lie #4: He may not be looking for a committed relationship

Alternatively, he may be more interested in a relationship than he claims. It’s very difficult to tell right away what a guy’s true intentions are, especially after just one date. Luckily, with the advent of a huge number of specialized dating websites, this isn’t as much of an issue as it used to be. If a guy wants a friend with benefits, he’ll hit up AshleyMadison.com. If he’s looking for long term, he’ll probably jump on eHarmony. My suggestion is that you trust what the guy says on his profile page unless he does something to convince you otherwise.

Profile Lie #5: He will claim he’s younger (or older) than he really is

This lie happens quite a bit, and again, it can vary from a couple of years to a decade. Some guys age well and you’d never notice the difference. Other times you’ll be expecting a 25-something and get an obvious 40-something. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you walked out right there in that case. But if you’re looking for something casual and he looks about the age that he claims he is, then you shouldn’t worry!

Final Thoughts

Back to that Cornell University poll I mentioned earlier. Chances are 8 out of every 10 profiles you visit will have lies on them. But that shouldn’t deter you from online dating. Men, just like women, want to put their best foot forward on their profile page. If magically “losing” 10 pounds and “gaining” an inch or two of height is what he thinks it takes to pick up a great girl, then, well, let’s just say it’s not as bad as lying about a murder conviction or his stint at the state penitentiary.

Online Dating Site Review: OKCupid

Online Dating Site Review: OKCupid

Since Gregg is busy writing his new book and working his magic with us females, he has asked me to help out with the blogging – sort of a “from a woman’s point of view” type of thing. I thought I’d start out with some reviews of online dating sites, and the first is OKCupid.

What I Like

Even though OKCupid doesn’t rank in any of the “Top 10” lists I could find, it’s by far my favorite. Like you, I’ve tried a few in my singles time (nearly 20 years), but this one allows you to interact for free! Yes, you read that right – free. You can send and receive emails for free. Aside from that, OKCupid offers you the ability to answer hundreds of questions that vary in type from whether or not you’d Google someone before you go out with them to whether or not you prefer pain with your sex. You have the option to answer or skip any question. You also rank each question by importance. Upon answering a couple dozen questions, they begin to analyze your personality. This becomes available to anyone who views your profile, so I suggest answering honestly. You have the ability to offer a comment with your response. I find this helpful if I don’t like the response choices – you can kind of clarify yourself. When you are answering the questions, you also can select the responses which are acceptable to you. Here you can select more than one or all possible responses. OKCupid uses this to help formulate matches. If someone shows interest in you, they click a “star” under your name. The only way to see who is interested in you is to pay to be on the site, but if they are interested enough, they will send you a message. If you have a mutual interest in someone, you can view those questions. I find this tremendously helpful in understanding someone better. If you’re following Gregg’s advice and not offering up sex on the first date, you have the possibility to see how long a guy is willing to wait before they expect sex. There are several questions that will point you to this information. I have eliminated more than one guy because he thinks sex on the first date is okay.

What I Don’t Like

I don’t like not being able to see who’s interested in me, however, I get by. I have been a paid user of the site and the results I’ve had do not differ when I’m paying or not paying. I also don’t like that while I can choose more than one acceptable response from the man, I can only choose one myself. There are times where I would definitely choose two responses. This is where that comment field comes in handy, and based on what I understand about databases, I’m guessing that the comment area is their response to that problem. Another pitfall of OKCupid is that they have a strong tendency to give you matches that are well outside of your regional preferences. I suspect this is because there are sometimes not enough users in my region, but I’d rather they tell me they ran out than to take up my time with men from Michigan, Kentucky or Indiana (I live in Ohio). Even flipping through these in the browsing screen tells someone that you have “Viewed” them, then, of course their curiosity is piqued and they view you. For me, it just clogs up my system with stuff that doesn’t matter. It’s easy enough to get rid of them, I guess I’m just lazy.

Site Information

URL: https://www.okcupid.com Cost to Join the “A-List”: [wc_row][wc_column size=”one-third” position=”first”] $7.95/Month – 6 Month Package [/wc_column][wc_column size=”one-third”] $11.95/Month – 3 Month Package [/wc_column][wc_column size=”one-third” position=”last”] $15.95 for Monthly [/wc_column][/wc_row]

Final Thoughts

It is important to surf any of these dating sites with both eyes wide open. There are PLENTY of scammers out there and you have to be aware of the signs. On other dating sites, I have had numerous men send me ‘instant messages’ with basically the same script – “hey I’m currently in {insert foreign country here}. From there, they are either soon to get out of the military OR they are antique shopping for their business here in the states. Never ever give someone your phone number immediately. If someone is truly interested in you, they will patiently build a little bit of trust with you before they ask you for such information. Also, don’t immediately go to your personal email. In fact, I set up a gmail account JUST for dating sites – this email does not have any of my personal information attached to it. Perhaps I’m a bit paranoid, but better safe than sorry. A man worth having will be respectful and patient. He will not push you into a place you’re not ready to be in. Having said that, don’t expect to string a guy along for weeks on end using the dating site email system. If you’re on a dating site, they assume you’re there to eventually go on a date. At some point, when you have built up enough confidence that they’re not a wet kitten, you can agree to meet them. Meet a man in a public place, NOT a park or, heaven forbid, your home. Your safety is of the utmost importance and a quality man will not even hesitate to agree to this date criteria. For other tips on first dates, read Gregg’s post, Want to Make Your First Dates Better? Try These Tips. One last thought – trust your gut. It took me a long time to learn this, but it works. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

Have you tried OKCupid? What was your experience?

online dating

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