First Impressions Matter and Here are a Few Tips
In chapter 2 of my new book Night Moves I mention how men are visual creatures and why women need stand out so they are seen. First impressions are everything! First impressions are just as important as you think they are. But without even realizing it you could wind up impressing the wrong kind of guy.
I’ve seen it before, women with great bodies but zero self-confidence rely on pure sex appeal to get noticed. They show up wearing whatever they can to lure men. Skirts that are so short they’re practically half-mooning them, or pants so tight they’re cutting off their circulation. To top it all off they wear 6-inch heels, turning themselves into a statuesque pedestal of sex.
Even if you’re not so bold, the reality is you don’t have to get even close to this to make a good first impression. First impressions are more in how you’re acting, how you’re smiling, what you’re doing more than it is your appearance.
Please don’t go around telling everyone that I said you have to dress conservative at the bar scene! But style and sex are two totally different things, and while I won’t be there to pick things out of your closet for you, I can at least explain the general idea to you. Style is closer to confidence then it is to what you’re wearing. It’s clothing you feel comfortable in, that you feel sexy in, without seeming to give you away all at once.
This is important: you’re going for subtlety. You’re going for intrigue. You’re going for bangs over one eye, a coy smile, and a strut that says you know exactly where you’re going. Note that I mentioned nothing that had to do with your clothes. Find clothes that accent your best features, but do yourself a favor and don’t make it look like you’re selling body parts at a local garage sale.
Get men wondering about what you’ve got in there. You’d be surprised at how little it takes to get our minds wandering! By dressing a bit more subtle than a “bar girl” you stand out.
Men have two mindsets when they go out; girls they can screw tonight and women that they can settle down with. By dressing too slutty a man’s brain is quickly triggered to having sex without an emotional connection that is needed in a lasting relationship. Don’t let this happen. Impress a man with your style, wit and uniqueness, and not just your legs, boobs and ass.
It’s not that we don’t notice the hottie wearing stilettos showing her thong (because we sure as hell do) it’s that it quickly turns her into something with only one use. If you’re dressed like that, we have a pretty good idea what you’re after even if it’s nothing more than attention. And believe it or not, most decent guys will leave you to the sharks.
It’s your choice if you’re looking for something more. Stop thinking all looks and start believing in the power of subtlety and style.
Are you ready to learn more about the science of falling in love? I know you are. The book is currently called Night Moves: The Science of Making Him Fall In Love With You. Coming soon!
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.