What are NSA Relationships?
NSA Relationships are relationships with no strings attached. This type of relationship is usually sexual in nature with no underlying current of romance. It’s the most casual relationship and differs from a friends-with-benefits relationship.
There isn’t a prior friendship in NSA relationships, or there shouldn’t be.
In a friends-with-benefits or FWB relationship, you’re friends who decide to try having sex together. In both instances, you aren’t seeking a romantic relationship, just sex. The friendship in an FWB relationship is often deep, and there is mutual respect between partners.
In This Article
Are NSA Relationships Right for Everyone?
There are many pros and cons to pursuing NSA relationships; no, NSA relationships aren’t suitable for everyone.
This type of relationship fulfills one of your needs – sex, but not another – love. If you’re looking for love, this isn’t your type of relationship. In the content below, you’ll further explore the pros and cons of making your own decision.
I can’t tell you whether this relationship is good for you. Only you can decide.
Are You Ready for an NSA Relationship?
This might be why you’ve sought out this article, so let’s get that answer. A few criteria help you know if you’re ready for an NSA relationship.
1. You’re Willing to Put Your Sexual Health First
In today’s sexual climate, putting your sexual health first is essential, and that doesn’t change when NSA relationships.
You don’t know your partner or his sexual history, so you must be mindful of safe sex. Use condoms to prevent the transfer of any sexually transmitted diseases. Have a conversation with him about STDs, STIs, and birth control.
In addition to condoms, it’s wise to have your own form of birth control. Nothing is 100% foolproof, so having a backup plan seems wise. Think of it this way. The condom prevents disease transmission, while birth control prevents unwanted pregnancies.
2. You Go into an NSA Relationship with Honesty
Regardless of what type of relationship you have, honesty is the best way to begin. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about what type of relationship this is.
When you tell a guy you only want an NSA relationship, he’s counting on that being the case throughout your time together.
Yes, it’s possible to develop feelings for someone, but be aware that he may not share your feelings or change his desire for a relationship.
Be honest about whether you can go into something like this and not become emotionally attached. If you don’t think you can avoid the attachment, NSA relationships probably aren’t for you.
3. You Want NSA Relationships to Help You Explore Your Sexuality
When you’re in a meaningful relationship with the man of your dreams, he’ll appreciate you knowing yourself sexually.
Most men fear not being able to help their women reach climax, but if you don’t know what gets you off, you won’t be able to guide him appropriately.
If you pursue NSA relationships for a while, you can play around sexually and discover what you like and dislike. You might find that you like things a little kinky, or you may realize that you prefer a pretty vanilla sex life.
There’s nothing wrong with either, as long as that’s what you want.
4. You’re Too Busy for a Committed Relationship
Many women are career-driven and too busy for a committed relationship. You spend all day at work, then come home and walk the dog before changing clothes to go to the gym. You come home, cook dinner, and clean up; by the time that is done; you’re exhausted.
Who has time for a man?
There’s nothing wrong with being in a career mindset. I commend you if you feel this way. You’re avoiding the ultimate demise of a relationship that requires more of your time and attention.
At some point, you’ll change your focus and desire for that committed relationship, but meanwhile, an NSA relationship might be all you need.
5. You Know Yourself and What You Need
Some women want and maybe even need the cuddling, the formal dates, the late-night chats on the phone, and all the other things that come with a relationship.
If you want that guy, you can call when everything seems wrong, an NSA relationship isn’t for you.
But, if you think you want some casual hookups without the attachments and you’re sure you can handle it, go for it!
6. You’re Able to Manage Your Emotions
If you’re a jealous type, an NSA relationship might not be for you. There is no commitment when you’re in NSA relationships, so both of you can explore other relationships.
This can easily lead to jealousy if you aren’t careful.
If you think jealousy could be an issue, don’t worry. It’s normal, and it’s okay, but stay away from NSA relationships, or you’ll find yourself getting hurt.
The other way your emotions can get the better of you is if you get into an NSA relationship and decide it’s not for you. That’s fine.
Remember, you have no commitment to this man or men. The whole reason you got into this was to avoid commitment. If you decide you don’t want to explore an NSA relationship any longer, get out.
But, don’t allow your emotions to keep you in for fear of hurting his feelings. He’s in this to avoid feeling anything too heavy. He won’t mind. Chances are pretty good that he has other women.
Characteristics of NSA Relationships
There are some things all NSA relationships have in common. Take some time to explore things you haven’t yet considered.
How Long do Typical NSA Relationships Last?
Most relationships of this type last a few months. Of course, this is up to you and your partner, but if you’re just in it for sexual exploration and variety, you won’t want to stay with anyone for too long.
Is There an Emotional Connection?
As you previously read, NSA relationships are devoid of emotional connections. It’s one of the perks if you want to look at it that way.
Once you develop an emotional connection, you’re sliding into relationship territory, and that honesty thing needs to happen.
While there is a possibility that your guy will feel an emotional connection too, both of you got in this NSA relationship to avoid that, so a heart-to-heart conversation is a must. If the connection is one-sided, it’s time to get out.
Can I Rely on Him for Financial Help?
I encourage all women to be financially stable before entering any relationship. If you’re looking for a sugar daddy, that’s a different type of relationship.
In an NSA relationship, you should never expect financial support from a man.
Will We Go on Dates?
Dating isn’t part of an NSA relationship. This isn’t a situation where you’re in it to learn more about one another so you can build intimacy and grow closer.
It’s a hookup. Sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.
This guy isn’t in it to woo you; he’s strictly in it for the sex.
Are There Obligations Between Us?
NSA relationships have no obligations between you. The only duty you might have is a schedule you’ve established for your sexual encounters.
Otherwise, obligations are for committed relationships.
What Type of Person is Best Suited for NSA Relationships?
The section above explores this topic best, but the short answer is that you’re well-suited for an NSA relationship if you don’t desire an emotional connection. I encourage you to read the other criteria above for a more detailed response.
Are NSA Relationships Monogamous?
No. NSA relationships are open, which means you are free to sleep with whomever you want, whenever you want. You aren’t being unfaithful because there is no commitment.
Of course, this takes us back to the emotion discussion above. Don’t get into an NSA relationship if you think you might become jealous or romantically involved.
Who Should You Be in an NSA Relationship With?
The first rule is not to get into an NSA relationship with a friend. The obvious reason is that that makes it a friends-with-benefits relationship, which is very different. In that relationship, you maintain a friendship while agreeing to have sex.
Additionally, you don’t want to ruin a friendship with sex.
It will help if you choose someone you know very little about. It sounds risky, but there are ways of ensuring your safety. You want to choose someone who isn’t looking for that emotional attachment you already have with a friend.
The Negatives of NSA Relationships
While there are benefits to entering an NSA relationship, there are also drawbacks. You’ve already read about some of these if you’ve read the entire article.
One of You Might Develop Feelings for the Other
This has been covered a couple of times, but if you’re skipping around, let’s make sure you read it at least once.
While you get into an NSA relationship for sex, things can get sticky if you or the other person start to have feelings. It all depends on whether those feelings are mutual or one-sided.
Using NSA relationships to find a boyfriend is a bad idea, so if that’s your goal, I suggest going at it from a different angle. You’re probably going to end up heartbroken and disappointed.
It Will Keep You from Finding True Love
While many NSA relationships don’t last more than a few months, things can get sticky if you or the other person start to have feelings. Yours may last for months or even years if things are clicking. That’s great if you don’t have a goal of finding a committed relationship anytime soon.
But if you’re using NSA relationships as a filler until you’re ready to date, it could keep you from that goal. Even though the no strings attached relationship isn’t a committed relationship, you may feel as if you should stay if it goes on for a long time.
Or you may discover that what you wanted all along was a commitment and feel you’ve wasted time in the no strings attached type of relationship.
You May Find a Committed Relationship Difficult to Maintain
Committed relationships and NSA relationships are very different. Let’s imagine you decide to get out of the no strings attached relationship business and develop a long-term relationship with a great guy.
Your time and freedom in the NSA relationship may spoil you for the commitment required in a committed relationship. It’s easy not to worry about the other person’s feelings and you aren’t required to answer to anyone. Then, suddenly, someone is holding you accountable, and it can chafe.
The Other Person May Exit for a Committed Relationship
If you get into an NSA relationship with someone that lasts for several months, you might find yourself in a pickle if they decide to look for a committed relationship with someone else.
Rather than get upset, look at it as a chance to be happy for the other person. Also, consider yourself fortunate that neither of you got emotionally involved.
Having said all that, it may still feel like a breakup, and your body may go through the withdrawal of losing sex with that person.
It might be a good time to determine whether you still want to be in NSA relationships or if it’s time to seek something more permanent.
You’re Risking Your Sexual Health
While using condoms decreases the risk of transmitting STIs, there is no foolproof way to do so. Having sex with multiple partners or having sex with someone who has multiple partners significantly increases your chances of getting an STD or STI.
The “Rules” of an NSA Relationship
No Sharing of Personal Information or Details
The idea behind this type of relationship is that you avoid an emotional attachment. Therefore, you don’t share personal information or details with your NSA partner. The only thing you should be discussing is any sexual preferences you may have and protect your sexual health.
Limit Texting to Setting Time for Sex
This guy isn’t your new BFF, so don’t text him about your day, tell him goodnight or choose a pet name for him.
Your texting should be limited to making plans for your next sexual encounter. Other than that, he’s off limits.
If Someone Develops Feelings, it’s Time to End It
I feel like I’ve said this a half-dozen times, but feelings have no place in an NSA relationship. Be honest with your NSA partner and require the same of him. Agree that if this happens, you discuss it and end the relationship.
No Asking AbNott Other Sexual Partners
His life outside the time you spend together is his business, not yours, and vice versa. You don’t share information about the other people in your life. This is for their privacy as much as for yours.
ALWAYS Use Protection
Cover all your bases with condoms and separate birth control. Again, nothing is 100% protective, and your best defense is a good offense.
Your sexual health and that of your partner should be of the utmost importance, as should avoiding an unwanted pregnancy.
Establish and Maintain Strict Boundaries
It would help if you had boundaries to protect your desire to be in an NSA relationship. Here are a few you should consider:
- After sex, the partner leaves within an hour
- No texting warm and fuzzy messages
- If you bump into one another outside your NSA relationship, pretend as if you don’t know one another.
These boundaries keep you from those emotional attachments you’re working hard to avoid.
When is it Time to Move On?
Every NSA relationship comes to an end at some point. The best way to know when it’s time to move on is when things just aren’t working for you any longer.
You may become bored with this partner, or those dreaded feelings might come into play. You might also decide you want something deeper and more committed.
Or, you might decide you want to take a break from sex for a while.
Remember, you aren’t in a committed relationship, so it isn’t as if you’re breaking up with this guy. He probably has other women he’s sleeping with, and while he may miss you, he shouldn’t feel as if you’ve let him down.
And the same goes for you. Let him go without much drama and fanfare if he decides he wants out.
You and an NSA Relationship
The bottom line is that only you can decide if this type of relationship is right for you and, if so, how long you’ll pursue it. You might decide this is all you want and continue with NSA relationships for years, or you may try it for a few weeks and decide it’s not for you.
All I ask is that you read this article carefully, all 2500+ words of it, and come to an informed decision before you jump in with both feet.
Once you decide to go for it, find a safe way to meet men and ensure you qualify any man before you invite him into your bed.
Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.