Online Dating Site Review: OKCupid

Since Gregg is busy writing his new book and working his magic with us females, he has asked me to help out with the blogging – sort of a “from a woman’s point of view” type of thing. I thought I’d start out with some reviews of online dating sites, and the first is OKCupid.

What I Like

Even though OKCupid doesn’t rank in any of the “Top 10” lists I could find, it’s by far my favorite. Like you, I’ve tried a few in my singles time (nearly 20 years), but this one allows you to interact for free! Yes, you read that right – free. You can send and receive emails for free.

Aside from that, OKCupid offers you the ability to answer hundreds of questions that vary in type from whether or not you’d Google someone before you go out with them to whether or not you prefer pain with your sex. You have the option to answer or skip any question. You also rank each question by importance. Upon answering a couple dozen questions, they begin to analyze your personality. This becomes available to anyone who views your profile, so I suggest answering honestly. You have the ability to offer a comment with your response. I find this helpful if I don’t like the response choices – you can kind of clarify yourself.

When you are answering the questions, you also can select the responses which are acceptable to you. Here you can select more than one or all possible responses. OKCupid uses this to help formulate matches.

If someone shows interest in you, they click a “star” under your name. The only way to see who is interested in you is to pay to be on the site, but if they are interested enough, they will send you a message. If you have a mutual interest in someone, you can view those questions. I find this tremendously helpful in understanding someone better.

If you’re following Gregg’s advice and not offering up sex on the first date, you have the possibility to see how long a guy is willing to wait before they expect sex. There are several questions that will point you to this information. I have eliminated more than one guy because he thinks sex on the first date is okay.

What I Don’t Like

I don’t like not being able to see who’s interested in me, however, I get by. I have been a paid user of the site and the results I’ve had do not differ when I’m paying or not paying.

I also don’t like that while I can choose more than one acceptable response from the man, I can only choose one myself. There are times where I would definitely choose two responses. This is where that comment field comes in handy, and based on what I understand about databases, I’m guessing that the comment area is their response to that problem.

Another pitfall of OKCupid is that they have a strong tendency to give you matches that are well outside of your regional preferences. I suspect this is because there are sometimes not enough users in my region, but I’d rather they tell me they ran out than to take up my time with men from Michigan, Kentucky or Indiana (I live in Ohio). Even flipping through these in the browsing screen tells someone that you have “Viewed” them, then, of course their curiosity is piqued and they view you. For me, it just clogs up my system with stuff that doesn’t matter. It’s easy enough to get rid of them, I guess I’m just lazy.

Site Information

URL: http://www.okcupid.com

Cost to Join the “A-List”:

$7.95/Month – 6 Month Package

$11.95/Month – 3 Month Package

$15.95 for Monthly

Final Thoughts

It is important to surf any of these dating sites with both eyes wide open. There are PLENTY of scammers out there and you have to be aware of the signs. On other dating sites, I have had numerous men send me ‘instant messages’ with basically the same script – “hey I’m currently in {insert foreign country here}. From there, they are either soon to get out of the military OR they are antique shopping for their business here in the states.

Never ever give someone your phone number immediately. If someone is truly interested in you, they will patiently build a little bit of trust with you before they ask you for such information. Also, don’t immediately go to your personal email. In fact, I set up a gmail account JUST for dating sites – this email does not have any of my personal information attached to it. Perhaps I’m a bit paranoid, but better safe than sorry.

A man worth having will be respectful and patient. He will not push you into a place you’re not ready to be in. Having said that, don’t expect to string a guy along for weeks on end using the dating site email system. If you’re on a dating site, they assume you’re there to eventually go on a date. At some point, when you have built up enough confidence that they’re not a wet kitten, you can agree to meet them.

Meet a man in a public place, NOT a park or, heaven forbid, your home. Your safety is of the utmost importance and a quality man will not even hesitate to agree to this date criteria. For other tips on first dates, read Gregg’s post, Want to Make Your First Dates Better? Try These Tips.

One last thought – trust your gut. It took me a long time to learn this, but it works. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

Have you tried OKCupid? What was your experience?

online dating

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