How to Know if You Found the Right Guy?
In To Date a Man, You Must Understand A Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy, Gregg says, “Cast a net off your boat and fill your bucket with men. Then throw back the losers and keep a few in your koi pond.” So how do you know if you should reel him in or cast him overboard?
It’s Tiffany today to remind you that you are the CHOOSER! It’s all up to you to decide whether or not he’s a keeper. And it’s not that hard to figure out, once you have the right gear. I’m not talking fishing poles and actual nets, but solid tools and rules to follow on your journey to catch Mr. Right.
Write It Down
So, you’ve been on a few dates and you have him firmly in your net. Before you go any farther, stop and write down at least ten sentences that detail exactly how you want to be treated by a guy.
Do you want a man who puts you first? Someone who makes you laugh? Someone respectful? Thoughtful? Romantic? Once you have a solid ten, narrow it down to a good three to five items that are non-negotiable.
Now promise yourself you will not fall for the guy unless he proves — consistently, through his actions — that he is the quality man you are looking for. No exceptions. If he doesn’t realistically meet your standards, cast him overboard.
Take A Step Back
When we are really into someone, we tend to view everything with blinders on. It’s hard to assess the relationship clearly when we only see the good. But is he truly a decent guy?
Or is he just hot, without any real substance? In Who Holds The Cards Now? 5 Lethal Steps to Win His Heart and Get Him to Commit, Gregg Michaelsen advises us to slow down and take a step back to discover his true worth.
This is especially important before sex gets in the way, and clouds our minds even more. Remember, YOU hold the cards. Keep it in lock-down mode until you are sure he is a man of value.
Have Your Friends Meet Him
You may have blinders on, but your friends surely don’t! Good girlfriends have your back, and can help you see if he’s the real deal, or just a blowfish. Try not to get defensive when they give you their unbiased opinion.
Listen to what they have to say and trust that they want what’s best for you. If the guy isn’t all that, they can help you give him the heave ho. Cast him overboard. But if they think you found the right guy, reel him in!
Meet His Friends
This can be a real game changer. If he doesn’t want you to meet his buddies, there is something wrong. Cast him overboard. If he wants you to meet his buddies, and wants to show you off — great! Take this time to find out what they have to say about your man.
Do they respect him? Is he a reliable, stand up guy? Or is he a girl chaser? Is he a slob? Also pay attention to how your man behaves in this situation. Is he attentive to you? Is he confident and relaxed? Does he put you first? Or is he always siding with the guys? Is he nervous? Insecure? Clingy? Is he crudely checking out other girls? Is he an obnoxious drunk?
Does his personality change in a negative way when he’s with his crew? Remember, if his friends are immature, or if they are all players, chances are he is too. If you find that’s the case, get rid of him — fast!
Follow Your Intuition
Does he make excuses all the time? Does he fail to step up when you need him? Is he too busy to meet your family and friends? Is he controlling? Self-centered? Rude? These are all red flags!
Whatever the behavior may be, if it gives you those uneasy vibes, it’s wrong! When in doubt, follow your intuition. We women are famous for it, so use it — and lose him. Cast him overboard!
On your way to “The One,” you are bound to catch a few bad fish. But remember, there are plenty of men in the sea, so keep casting your net and reel in the good ones! Who knows, you might just score the catch of a lifetime!