4 Questions to ask Yourself Before You Commit

4 Questions to ask Yourself Before You Commit

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

How do you know if someone is right for you? Sure you’re attracted to him, and you get along great, but if you commit to a relationship you are closing yourself from possibly meeting Mr. Right. If you just aren’t there yet, it’s probably best to keep things casual for now and keep you options open.

Is He Your Friend?

It’s true. There is no romantic relationship without that physical, chemical spark. But if you ask happily married couples what their secret is, chances are they will say they married their best friend. When you think back on past failed relationship, chances are you were lovers but never really friends. Think of the qualities you look for in a friend — shared interests and values, mutual respect and trust, appreciation for one another, compatible personalities, and the ability to feel comfortable and happy when you’re just hanging out, spending lots of time together. Do you have that? You may be into him physically, but you can’t be hot and heavy all of time (even if you want to). He may be a good lover, but when it comes down to it, he should be a good friend too.

Does He Communicate?

In any good relationship, you must be open and honest with each other. Conversation by nature is a give and take, back and forth kind of thing! If he is normally a Chatty Charles but shuts down when it comes to certain topics, or if he sits there silently scowling while you are talking, it may be time to wonder why.

He should be someone you can talk openly and honestly with about the important stuff without worrying about whether he is judging you or withholding information. You should trust him with your secrets and he should trust you with his.

On a related note, are your conversations stimulating or do you find yourself bored and yawning, staring into his dreamy eyes? Just like you click in the bedroom, the two of you need to click conversationally. Sure, it’s nice to enjoy some quiet time together now and then, but in the end, you don’t want to be stuck in a marriage with someone who will not or cannot communicate.

Do You Really Know Him?

Trust and friendship take time. You may really want to have a boyfriend or you may really want to be engaged, but make sure you really know the guy before you rush into anything. Don’t let your biological clock blind you! Do you know what he wants for the future (besides you)?

It’s important to make sure you are both on the same page with your relationship. I have more than one friend who married and divorced because one wanted kids and the other did not. Another reason why open and honest communication is so important!

A great way to really get to know someone is to meet his family. There is a reason people traditionally “meet the parents” before getting married — It just makes sense! His upbringing has set the foundation for who he is as an adult, and can really be en eye opener. Spend some time with his parents and siblings, and observe him closely. How does he treat them? How do they treat him? What is the family dynamic? Do you like what you see?

Does He Love You?

You know how you feel about him, and it should be obvious how he feels about you. It does not matter if he says he loves you a hundred times a day or not at all. We women wear our hearts on our sleeves but men are different. They show their love through their actions. Is he proud to have you by his side? Is he protective of you? Is he generous? Does he treat you with kindness and respect? One thing you need to understand is how men love. These actions cannot be faked. When you know, you know. There are lots of men in the dating pool. Don’t settle for anything less than love.

Hopefully your answers to these four questions will give you some clarity when it comes to making the decision to finally commit to one man. By now, you should be on your way to becoming an exclusive couple, or staying open to the possibility of finding your one and only one day soon!

Navigating Love: Proven Strategies to Dodge the Friend Zone with a Guy

Navigating Love: Proven Strategies to Dodge the Friend Zone with a Guy

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

The ‘friend zone’ is a situation where one person in a platonic relationship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It’s a complex psychological phenomenon rooted in human social behaviors and interpersonal relationships.

People tend to seek out relationships where the benefits outweigh the costs. When one person perceives the relationship as platonic and the other as potentially romantic, there’s an imbalance in perceived benefits and costs, leading to the friend zone.

Attachment styles also play a significant role in the friend zone. When you have a secure attachment style, you are more likely to express your feelings openly and directly, reducing the chances of miscommunication and mismatched expectations. On the other hand, if you have an avoidant or anxious attachment style, you may struggle to communicate your romantic interest, increasing the likelihood of landing in the friend zone.

Another psychological aspect of the friend zone involves the principle of least interest, which means the person who is less emotionally invested in the relationship has more power. If one person is more interested in deepening the relationship than the other, they may find themselves in the friend zone.

The friend zone can also be influenced by a fear of rejection. If you’re afraid of being rejected, you may not express your true feelings, leading to a mismatch of intentions and desire, which can keep you ‘stuck’ in the friend zone.

Social norms can also have an impact. Society often expects men to make the first move in romantic relationships. If a woman is interested in a man but waits for him to express his feelings first, she may inadvertently place him in the friend zone.

How can you avoid the friend zone?

friend zone

Recognizing the Signs: Are You in the Friend Zone?

Before we look into how to avoid the friend zone, it might be a good idea to see if that’s where you are.

If you find that he only reaches out to you to vent his frustrations or chat about personal matters but never initiates plans for romantic or intimate dates, it’s a sign you might be in the friend zone. When he starts to discuss his potential love interests with you or seeks your advice on dating matters, it could be a clear indication you are friend-zoned.

Another good way to gauge your status in a relationship is by paying attention to the language a guy uses while referring to you. If he uses phrases like “buddy”, “pal”, or “good friend”, it’s a clue to your likely position in the friend zone. It’s important to be aware of these signs before you start working on getting out of it.

Alright, now we know where you might stand. Let’s move on to exploring how you can prevent landing in the friend zone with a guy of your interest. Shifting gears from friendship to potential romance takes careful thought and strategy. But fear not! By being proactive, genuine, and respectful, you can shape a different kind of relationship.

Avoiding Pitfalls: Common Mistakes that Land You in the Friend Zone

First things first, understanding the mistakes that unintentionally slide you into the friend zone is key. If you’ve found yourself neck-deep in a friendly relationship you’d rather evolve romantically, chances are you’re offering friendship signals instead of romance signals. So, let’s delve into these common errors.

Being Too Passive

Often, you might hold off expressing your interest because you’re afraid of rejection or ruining the friendship. The longer you wait to make your intentions clear, the more likelihood you have of being just a friend in their eyes. However, approaching with honesty and courage is a must, but be sure to apply felt discretion to not come off too strongly.

Over Availability

While, it’s amazing to be a supportive friend who’s always there, excessive availability can create a comfort zone where the other person knows they can rely on you, like a friend. To avoid this, try to establish boundaries, prioritizing your own time and interest. Trust me, a little mystery never hurt anyone and could, in fact, stimulate interest.

Acting Like a ‘Nice Guy’

Beware of the ‘too nice’ trap! You might think that being impeccable, agreeable, and doing whatever pleases the other person will earn you romantic points. Unfortunately, this lack of self-affirmation often leads to the friend zone. Remember, it’s desirable to show respect and kindness, but suppressing your opinion or needs for the sake of pleasing others might only communicate that you’re more of a friend than a potential romantic partner.

Failing to Spark Romantic Interest

Last but definitely not least, sparking romantic interest involves more than just physical attraction or a shared passion for something. There must be an emotional connection, coupled with thrill, excitement, and a hint of unpredictability. Creating a romantic atmosphere can be as simple as initiating a deeper conversation or planning a fun, exciting outing that breaks the usual friend-like pattern.

To save yourself from the friend zone, remember to communicate your intentions early, maintain a certain level of unavailability, avoid being too agreeable, and continuously strive to stir up romantic interest.

friend zone

Creating a Game Plan: Setting Your Sights Beyond the Friend Zone

To safely navigate out of the friend zone, you’ll need a well thought out game plan. This should go beyond just hanging out with your male friend and hoping that something will spark between the two of you. However, keep in mind that everyone is unique, so customizing your approach might be necessary based on the dynamics of your friendship.

Firstly, understand that you need to change the current dynamic between you two to open new horizons.

Start by making yourself slightly less available. This doesn’t mean you should ignore him or cut him out drastically, but merely create a sense of intrigue — the curiosity of why you’re less available might make him see you in new light.

Additionally, try to create shared experiences that don’t fit the ‘just friends’ mold. This might mean going for an adventurous hike, attending a concert of a band you both love, or watching a romantic movie together. The goal is to create situations that stimulate non-friend-zone feelings.

Don’t forget to open up emotionally as well. If he only sees you as a friend, he might not be privy to your vulnerabilities or your dreams and aspirations. By opening yourself up, you allow him to connect with you on a deeper level.

One final tip: Don’t forget that a slow and steady approach often wins this race! A sudden shift in behavior might seem disingenuous and could even push him further away, so tread lightly and let things evolve naturally over time.

The Art of Flirting: Subtle Techniques to Show Your Intentions

Flirting can seem daunting, but it’s an important way to get your intentions across. Understanding the art can help avoid the friend zone. It’s more about subtext, implication, and the signals you are sending. Here’s how you can turn your flirting game around:

Body Language

Body language is half the conversation. Leaning in while talking, uninterrupted eye contact, or gentle touches on the arm, are all powerful tools. They silently telegraph your romantic interest. Remember, it’s all about subtlety, no aggressive gestures.

Initiate and Maintain Personal Conversations

Showing an interest in someone on a deeper level creates an emotional bond. Encourage him to open up about his feelings and personal life. Sharing your own vulnerabilities, dreams and fears is also crucial. It creates trust and signifies that you’re interested in more than a platonic relationship.

Mind The Compliments

Compliments are potent when used correctly. Avoid generic compliments about his looks. Instead, compliment his character, choices, or skills. This shows you value him beyond physical attraction, gaining his respect and capturing his attention.

Use Humor to Your Advantage

Laughter is infectious and a great way to sparkle chemistry. Be playful and light-hearted. Try not to overshare or vent about your problems, which can be perceived as negativity. Instead, be the person who lifts up his spirits and he will be drawn to you.

Flirting is an interactive dance. It’s about showing admiration without desperation, interest without clinginess, and confidence without arrogance. Practice these skills and you’ll be out of the friend zone in no time.

Tangible Transition: Moving from Platonic to Romantic

Transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one is a delicate process and timing is everything. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this crucial stage.

Express Your Feelings Honestly

Authenticity breeds trust. Give voice to your feelings when you sense the time is right. Choose a relaxed and private setting, and importantly, express your emotions with sincerity and confidence.

Subtlety is Key

While being upfront is great, shocking out of the blue confessions can be confusing and alarming. Gradually drop hints about your feelings. It’s about expressing interest without overwhelming your friend.

Respect Their Response

Easier said than done, but if they don’t feel the same way, it’s imperative to respect their feelings. It can be daunting, but the goal is ensuring everyone feels heard and respected.

Be Patient

Patience is truly a virtue in this scenario. Give your friend time to process their feelings. It’s not a race, so don’t rush the process. The transition, if it happens, needs to feel natural and mutual.

Show You’re Serious

It’s not enough just to express how you feel. Show them that you’re serious about taking the relationship to the next level. Be there at the important moments, do things that a good boyfriend or girlfriend would do, and allow them to see the potential that comes with being more than friends.

Finally, whatever the end result, it’s worth remembering that honesty, patience, and respect for each other’s feelings are the perfect foundation, no matter what kind of relationship you share.

Mastering Communication: Expressing Your Feelings Without Fear

Mastering communication can feel like a daunting task, especially when it involves making yourself vulnerable and revealing your feelings. However, overcoming that fear is crucial to avoiding the friend zone and potentially establishing a romantic relationship. So, how can you express your feelings without fear? Here are some pointers.

Practice Active Listening

Communication is a two-way street, and understanding how to be a good listener is as essential as expressing your own feelings. When he speaks, engage, show interest, and reflect on what he’s saying. Active listening shows respect and forms a deeper connection between the two of you, paving the way for more open and personal conversations.

Know Your Worth

Opening up can be scary, but remember that your feelings are valid and you have every right to express them. Remind yourself of your worth and the value you bring to a potential relationship. This mindset will provide the confidence to communicate openly and honestly.

Choose the Right Time and Place

The environment can greatly impact your talk. Avoid crowded or noisy places where you can’t have a serious conversation. Choose a comfortable and quiet spot, and make sure you both have enough time to talk without feeling hurried or interrupted.

Use “I” Statements

Using direct statements that start with “I feel” rather than “you make me feel” can help convey your emotions without sounding accusatory. This makes space for a productive and respectful dialogue, increasing your chances of a positive response.

Communication is a skill, and like any other, it requires practice to perfect. Don’t fear it, own it. After all, it’s the bridge between friendship and a potential romantic relationship.

avoid the friend zone

The Power of Confidence: How Self-Confidence Can Change Your Relationship

Believe it or not, self-belief can play a monumental role in shifting your relationship from platonic to romantic. This confidence, glowing from within, is not merely about how you view yourself, but majorly about how you carry yourself and interact with others, especially the guy you’re interested in.

A confident personality is attractive and often irresistible. When you have confidence in yourself, not only do you exhibit strength and independence, but you also project yourself as someone who knows their worth and isn’t afraid to show it. This can do wonders for evoking feelings of attraction in others.

Display your self-worth

Begin by displaying your self-worth. Understand your value and don’t be afraid to express it. Show the guy that you are comfortable in your skin and proud of who you are. This shouldn’t be confused with arrogance, it’s about having a healthy self-esteem. This form of self-assuredness can create a magnetic pull towards you.

Emanate Positivity

Confidence isn’t just about command, but also positivity. A positive outlook can make you easier to be around and more enjoyable to interact with, both of which are qualities that can help you avoid slipping into the friend zone. Positivity is contagious, and it tends to draw people in, creating a closer, more intimate bond.

Don’t Fear Rejection

Remember that fear of rejection can be a serious confidence killer. It’s normal to crave acceptance, especially from someone you have feelings for; however, tying your self-worth to that acceptance can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt. If he doesn’t respond as you hope, know that it isn’t a reflection of your worth. Maintain your confidence, and you’ll find that this courage can be incredibly attractive.

All in all, maintaining self-confidence is an essential ingredient in paving the path from friendship to something more. Ideas about yourself radiate out and impact how others perceive and relate to you. So let your confident, vibrant personality shine through. You’re worth it!

Timing is Everything: Finding the Right Moment to Move Out of the Friend Zone

Timing, the often-underestimated aspect of any relationship, has the power to make or break your journey from friend zone to romance. Knowing when to make your move, revealing your feelings at the right moment, and choosing the ideal time to transition from friendship to something deeper requires a blend of patience and awareness. Let’s discuss how to make timing work in your favor.

Understanding Their Personal Life and Schedule

Before deciding to make your move, consider his personal life and schedule. Is he currently dealing with a lot of stress at work, school, or home? If so, it might not be the best time to introduce additional emotional complexity. Wait for a time when he’s more relaxed and receptive.

Choose a Comfortable Environment

Pick a setting that is comfortable and familiar to both of you when it’s time to reveal your feelings. This can help reduce stress and make the conversation feel more natural. A sudden shift in relationship dynamics can be challenging, and choosing the right environment can play a vital role in creating a smooth transition.

Identifying Positive Signs

Keep an eye out for increasingly positive signs in your interactions, such as more frequent and deeper conversations or increased physical contact. These signs could indicate growing trust or even romantic interest. There’s never a perfect moment, but noticing these indicators can help you pick a better time to express your feelings.

Prepare for Their Reaction

No matter how well you think you know someone, it’s impossible to predict his exact reaction. Prepare yourself for a variety of outcomes. Regardless of the response, respect his feelings and keep your reaction as positive and understanding as possible.

Timing isn’t about waiting indefinitely for the perfect moment—it’s about assessing the situation, understanding his emotional state, and moving forward with patience and respect.

The Importance of Patience: Why Rushing Can Lead to the Friend Zone

Patience is of the essence when it comes to building relationships, especially when you’re hoping to transition a friendship into a romantic relationship.

Rushing can often scare him away, making him feel overwhelmed and creating tension in the relationship. It’s important to give him the space and time he needs to adjust to the idea of you being more than a friend. Understand that this might happen gradually and each person will require different timelines.

Your patience and respect for his feelings and decision-making process can be seen as an act of genuine care and understanding. It will ultimately show him that your intentions are pure and that you value the bond shared, ensuring a progression towards a possible romantic relationship without pushing them away or causing them to feel uncomfortable.

So how can you exercise patience? Start by giving him time and not expecting immediate changes in the relationship dynamics immediately you express your feelings. It’s also key to control your needs and desires to avoid seeming desperate or pushy. Respect his perspective and give him room to breathe.

Remember, rushing can often lead to the friend zone because it may make him feel pressured. On the other hand, being patient and understanding shows him that you’re more interested in him than merely changing the status of your relationship. Practicing patience can be the key to successfully avoiding the friend zone and building a potential romantic relationship.

Preserving the Friendship: How to Maintain Your Bond Even If Romance Doesn’t Bloom

Achieving your romantic goals with a friend isn’t always guaranteed, yet it’s vital to avoid severing the friendly ties you’ve built over time. Even if things don’t pan out as you’d wish, maintaining your friendship is still possible and valuable. Here’s how to do it.

Handle Rejection Gracefully

When the time comes, and the answer to your honesty is a ‘no,’ don’t react painfully. It’s understandably sad and disappointing. But holding onto the negativity won’t help anyone. Instead, show understanding and acceptance. After all, his feelings matter too. Just as you want respect for your emotions, be ready to reciprocate that understanding and empathy.

Give Each Other Space

Post-rejection can be an awkward time for both of you. It’s fine to take some time apart to allow the tension to ease. This space often helps you both recalibrate your feelings, process the event, and minimize discomfort. It’s a temporary break, not an end. You’re prioritizing the friendship’s health by allowing it to breathe.

Don’t force things to be “normal” immediately

There might be a natural urge to make things go back to ‘normal’ instantly. Resist this. Give it time and let the relationship slope back to its platonic status at a comfortable pace. Accept any lingering awkwardness as part of the process and, soon enough, that phase will pass. What’s important is not rushing the process.

Maintain Respect and Courtesy

Though the romantic side might linger, let courtesy and respect reign. Let go of any hard feelings and continue treating each other with the same respect as before. Threading the thin line between love and friendship can be challenging, but with caution and understanding, it can certainly be achieved. Always remember that preserving mutual respect is crucial to maintaining your friendship.

Stay Positive and Focus on the Friendship

Instead of focusing on the failed romantic attempt, keep your sights set on the friendship that you both cherish. Talk about the things you used to enjoy as friends, engage in activities you both love, be there for each other, and the friendship will strengthen over time. Positivity and persistence are key.

Navigating Rejection: Tips for Bouncing Back If Things Don’t Go as Planned

Navigating rejection can be a tough process. It’s never easy to handle a “no”, especially from someone you’ve shown romantic interest in. But it’s important to understand that rejection too is a part of life, and it’s how you handle it that matters the most.

First and foremost, remember that rejection is not a reflection of who you are as a person. It doesn’t define you, and the fact that one person doesn’t see a potential romantic relationship with you doesn’t mean that no one else will.

Next, avoid the blame game. It’s easy to blame yourself or the other person for the way things played out. But dwelling on what-ifs and should-haves is not going to change anything. It’s better to accept the situation and start working on moving forward.

Take some time for self-reflection. Use this as an opportunity to understand your feelings better. Are you feeling upset because of the rejection itself, or because you feel you’ve lost a chance at a relationship? Once you understand where your emotions are coming from, managing them becomes much easier.

Remember, it’s okay to feel sad. You’re allowed to be disappointed and to take some time to heal if that’s what you need. This is a natural part of human emotions and it’s important not to suppress your feelings.

Lastly, try to learn from the experience. Rejection is tough, but it also helps us grow as individuals. It deepens our understanding of our personal emotions and improves our ability to handle negative situations. Ask yourself, what can you learn from this experience? What can you do differently in your future interactions?

Getting past a rejection is no small feat, but with the right mindset and a focus on self-improvement, you will emerge stronger and more resilient.

Wrapping Up Avoiding the Friend Zone

So, there you have it. You’re now equipped with an arsenal of strategies and wisdom to help you step forward confidently without falling into the dreaded friend zone trap. Remember, the key to avoiding the friend zone is about open communication, expressing your interest subtly yet clearly, and maintaining your dignity and self-worth throughout the process.

Don’t forget, though that every situation is unique. It’s important to always respect the other person’s feelings and decision either way. If you do find yourself in the friend zone, despite following all the steps, don’t be disheartened. In fact, understanding your feelings and airing them out is a brave step in itself.

The friend zone doesn’t have to be a life sentence. With the right mindset and approach, you could change the course of your relationship from platonic to romantic.

But what if you don’t succeed in transitioning your relationship from just friends to something more? Take a step back, give it some time, and refocus your energy to move forward with your friendship. It’s essential to preserve your bond regardless of the outcome.

Without a doubt, the journey out of the friend zone can be a tricky one, but now you’ve got the road map and compass in hand. Once you’re ready, you can navigate this challenging expedition, filled with strength, subtlety, and more than a little confidence.

Lastly, sometimes we may all need a little professional guidance. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor or relationship expert for personalized advice if this all feels overly daunting. The most crucial part of this journey is to take care of you. Friends or more than friends, you’re worth it!

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

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How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

Date Great Men, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Do you want to know how to spark an instant connection with someone new? Here are some simple to follow dating tips that will help you make a great first impression!

Of course you want to make a great first impression when you meet someone new, especially when that someone is a handsome potential boyfriend. It’s actually easier than you would think! Here are four simple dating tips to help you shine….

Nix The Narcissism

It’s easy to get caught up in a one-sided conversation, where you talk non-stop about yourself in an effort to impress, especially when your nerves take over. Sadly, this tactic will usually backfire, leaving him disinterested, and leaving you wondering why. The next time you meet a new man, avoid the temptation to over-share. Instead of making it all about you, keep the conversation flowing back and forth. Of course, don’t interrogate him with questions. But do encourage him to talk about himself now and then. Respond with genuine interest, and really get to know each other!

Stay Cool, Calm, And Collected

It’s normal to feel a little anxious and jittery on a first date. But don’t let your nerves get the best of you! Take a deep breath, relax and focus on him. Chances are he’s just as nervous as you, so make him feel at ease and the conversation will flow naturally! Speaking of conversation, remember to speak slowly and clearly. Rambling on is a sure sign of insecurity. Men are attracted to confidence, and if he feels comfortable when he’s with you he will want to spend more time with you!

Be Mindful Of Body Language

According to Psychology Today, being in sync with another person is attractive. If you adjust your posture to match his, and follow his gestures, it will make you infinitely more alluring. To establish an instant connection, mirror the tilt of his head, make eye contact, smile when he smiles, and shift your body along with him. We can communication volumes with our bodies! Occasionally lean in toward him when he says something interesting. Keep you feet pointed forward towards him, with your legs uncrossed and comfortable. Arms should be also be uncrossed in a natural position with your hands relaxed and open. And be a bit flirtatious by playfully touching your jewelry or your hair. This is all considered positive body language, a hot topic when it comes dating advice for women!

Keep Things Real

If you’ve read any of my books, you know self-esteem is a key issue in my dating advice for women. You are a quality woman, and you should never change yourself for anyone or give up who you are, especially for a man. Don’t lie and say things just to impress a guy. Be open and honest about your likes and dislikes right from the start, and let him get to know the real you, and how amazing you are! If he doesn’t like you for who you are, or if you don’t have anything in common, he’s not a good fit for you anyway! Don’t sweat it. You can have your pick of men, and your perfect match may be just around the corner waiting to have an instant connection with you!

If your new acquaintance doesn’t heed this advice, cut him some slack if he makes a less than stellar first impression. Nerves can get the best of him too, and there may be a great guy hidden beneath all that narcissistic, insecure rambling. Now if he still makes it all about him when you meet again, that’s a whole ‘nother story!

8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women to Answer

8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women to Answer

Understand Men

Gregg here today! Ladies, there are questions all men would like women to answer. I hope I don’t come across as sexist, but these are burning questions men have but, if we work together, I think you can clue us in! Help me as a dating coach to better understand how your minds work!

Please choose which you’d like to answer and put your response in the comments (or answer them all!) I’m on pins and needles!

Why so many pairs of shoes?

Ten seems sufficient. Twenty? Thirty? Fifty and sometimes over one hundred? Why? Are you covering up something in your personality?  Often times you won’t even wear them and yet they need to be on display for all to see.

The toilet seat

Isn’t easier to just put down the toilet seat then squawking at us four times a day? We obviously will never learn so why not just put it down yourself?

Your hatred towards our sports teams

We just want to see our four professional teams and a few college games per week. Can’t you enjoy them with us? Instead of telling us to get off the couch, can’t you sit on the couch with us? And why not learn the rules? We will be happy to teach you using the cat laser toy!

The talk

Why must we always be asked where this relationship is headed? Why does it always have to be headed somewhere?  Can’t it just remain right where it is? I don’t know many guys who ask there girl where they are headed. Men just want to enjoy the here and now, can’t women do the same?

Over an hour to get ready?

Why? What goes on in the shower? Your bodies are smaller than ours so why does it take four times as long to get your body clean? Do you really need the ten items in the shower? Pert has a two in one shampoo and conditioner, can’t you use that? Then comes the makeup, the drying and sculpting of the hair, not to mention the clothes being changed over and over again. I was ready an hour and a half ago. Now, I just want to stay in and watch my sports.

Parallel parking

Is there a gene in your DNA which does not allow you to parallel park? You shouldn’t need to purchase a car based on its ability to park itself. Why can’t this be learned without airbag deployment?

Over texting

Why are women’s texts the length of the Gettysburg address? Just tell us that you will be over at 8:30 and end the text there. If we don’t respond, it doesn’t mean we hate you or we didn’t get the text, it means, “OK, see you then.” We are not breaking up. If we are forced to send back a response, let it be one smiley face and leave it at that.

Orgasms

Now this one might not be your fault but why does it take an owner’s manual, three baby goats, and a jester to make you reach an orgasm? Are we that bad in bed? Can’t we just get off more times than you and call it even? Why does it need to be equal? We can look at a glass of milk and have an orgasm – this is not our fault.

Answer these eight questions, and we will change our ways forever! OK, I lied – we’re incapable of change. Just please don’t ask us eight questions back – that wouldn’t be fair!

If you would like to understand US better, click the link below to grab my #1 Best Seller, To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man.

Wanted – One Great Guy – Losers Need Not Apply!

Wanted – One Great Guy – Losers Need Not Apply!

Date Great Men, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

WANTED: Attractive girl willing to be mother/martyr to a jobless jerk with junker car and no interest in changing my bad habits. Don’t clean, don’t cook, don’t care – just kicked out of my mother’s house and need to find a home for me and my basement full of Star Wars collectibles. Willing to tattoo your name to my list of “I love ____” on my biceps but draw the line at actual commitment beyond being able to use your credit cards. Allergic to your pets and friends but you’ll have plenty of company taking care of mine when you’re not fulfilling my sexual fantasies or cleaning up after me. Text me at XXXX and I’ll tell you when and where to pick me up.

Is this an ad from the man of your dreams? If the guy you’re with wrote an honest ad, would this be how it read? I know most of my books talk about how to get a guy, keep a guy, or get him back, but there are times when you need to know when to get rid of him.

Just because you’re with him – or want to be – doesn’t mean you should. I hear from so many women who are carrying all the weight of their relationship, and if they let go, there wouldn’t be one. If you are lonely, tired, and your best day was before you got into this relationship, take yourself out to a cool coffee or tea bar with this list of questions.

But first, the non-negotiables: addictive, angry, or abusive guys have no business being part of your long-term plans. You’ll want professional help in getting rid of him though, because they won’t let go of someone who enables their bad behavior without a fight.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is he meeting my needs? Does he even know (or care) what they are?
  2. Does he treat me with respect, or am I the “old ball and chain”?
  3. Does he like my friends? Do they like him? Do I like his? Does he even have any?
  4. If there’s a conflict with his family or friends, does he ever take my side or is it always them?
  5. Does he remember important dates? Does he remember with flowers or a heavy sigh and tales of when he was single and happy?
  6. Can he laugh at himself? Can I laugh at him? Do we ever laugh together?
  7. Do our goals align? Kids? College? Career? City condo or country house?
  8. Do we have the same views on handling money?
  9. When we don’t agree on something, can we work out a compromise that we can both live with, or am I usually expected to give in?
  10. Are our religions compatible?
  11. Do I trust him? How does he drive when I’m in the car?
  12. If we’re at a restaurant and the food arrives cold, how does he handle it?

If you’re getting a whole bunch of no’s, then tune in to my next article for how and where to say see you later, sayonara, chow baby, I’m outta here. Also, read my best seller, Weed Out The Losers, The Couch Potatoes and The Losers today!

Why Does a Man Pull Away? How can You Draw Him Close Again?

Why Does a Man Pull Away? How can You Draw Him Close Again?

Build Confidence, Find Happily Ever After, Get My Ex Back, Understand Men

Why does a man pull away? It’s a question women have been asking for many years and, lucky for you, there are a few simple answers.

Before we examine the why let’s look at what it looks like.

What You’ll Find Here

Is Your Man Pulling Away?
Why Does a Man Pull Away? He Has a Fear of Commitment
He’s Afraid of His Own Feelings
He’s Afraid He’ll Lose His Independence and Freedom
Why Does a Man Pull Away? Things Got Too Intense
He May Need Some Man Time
He’s Dealing with Other Stuff
Why Does a Man Pull Away? He Has Low Self-Worth
He’s Struggling to Identify as Part of a Couple
He’s Confused Lust with Love
Why Does a Man Pull Away? He’s Moved On
How do You Maintain Your Self-Worth?
What Can You Do While He’s Away?
What Shouldn’t You Do While He’s Away?
Why Does a Man Pull Away?

why does a man pull away

Is Your Man Pulling Away?

There are signs that your guy is pulling away, some more obvious than others:

  • He literally walks out the door (if you live together)
  • He’s less responsive or he ignores you most of the time
  • “Babe I just need some space”
  • He digs into work or a hobby, spending less time with you
  • You see signs that he’s looking for your replacement
  • He avoids you
  • He hangs up on you and doesn’t call back

Kate and Jack had been married for ten years but things were slowly declining. Kate spent days taking care of their four children while Jack worked. As the days went on, Jack worked later and later into the evenings, leaving his children to miss his presence and Kate to pick up the slack.

When Jack was home in the evenings, Kate went off to their bedroom, where her computer was stored, to work. Even when they were in the house together, they were usually apart. Jack spent more weekends at work and less at home.

Finally, Jack moved out and Kate was so relieved. She didn’t realize how much unspoken tension was filling their home until Jack was gone and she felt it leave like a big swoosh of air. Jack had been pulling away for months until his only next step was to move out.

Is Your Relationship Over?

Do you think your relationship is teetering on the edge of disaster? Has he aleady left? This is a great article for sure, but there are others! Just click the button to read them.

Find more articles here...

 

Why Does a Man Pull Away? He Has a Fear of Commitment

For some men, a fear of commitment will freeze them in their tracks. There is a name for this. It’s called gamophobia.

When you’re experiencing gamophobia, you have an irrational and uncontrolled fear of being accountable to a partner or spouse.

For much of your relationship up until now, you’ve been getting to know one another, and this is fun for men. They love the mystery of uncovering who you are beyond your looks. That’s what’s important to them.

But as the relationship advances and he senses you want a commitment; he distances himself and seems less available. Texts go unanswered or sit for hours, even days before you get a response. Your phone calls are answered, but not nearly every time.

He’s facing a moment of truth with you. He either needs to make a commitment or bail and his fight or flight mechanism tells him to fly.

Of course, the fear significantly outweighs any perceived threat. How can a happy relationship be threatening?

Perhaps you’ll see how if we look at the causes of gamophobia.

Causes of Gamophobia

He’s Had Negative Relationship Experiences Previously

One of two things most likely happened if this is the cause.

Either he experienced a childhood with chronically unhappy parents, perhaps including domestic abuse or, at the very least, lots of fighting; or he experienced his own very negative relationship and he’s afraid of another.

His Childhood Attachments Weren’t Healthy

If your guy didn’t have healthy attachments to his parents or caregivers, it could cause his gamophobia.

When a child grows up not having his needs met by his caregivers, he develops insecure attachment styles. This causes him to have a difficult time forming relationships and to feel less secure in any relationships he does engage in.

Additionally, he might have a fear of abandonment or rejection if either of those things occurred in his past.

It’s In His Genes – or History

Sometimes, it boils down to nature or nurture. There is research that suggests phobias might be passed from one generation to another genetically, making him more susceptible to phobias like this one.

He might also have learned this phobia because someone in his family experienced it. By watching someone else experience this phobia, he developed the phobia himself.

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, like other problems your guy may experience, there’s nothing you can do to fix this. He needs to fix it for himself and with phobias, the best course is to seek professional help.

What you can do is try to gently point out that he seems to distance himself from your relationship anytime the commitment conversation happens. He might not really be aware that he’s experiencing this problem.

You can ask him how he feels when you talk about commitment. If he has gamophobia, not only will he distance himself from your relationship, but he might experience physical symptoms associated with fear, like hyperventilating, chest pain, choking sensations, feelings of impending doom, rapid heart rate or breathing, sweating, and trembling.

If he’s willing to seek help and you’re willing to wait, you can probably come out on the other side of his treatment with a healthy relationship.

why does a man pull away

He’s Afraid of His Own Feelings

For some men, managing their emotions is very challenging. When these men were growing up, they were taught to suck it up and deal more often than they were told to feel sad, disappointed, or frustrated.

For many, the only acceptable emotion was anger. For him to now feel love is scary. He didn’t date you with the idea of falling in love with you. He dated you because you piqued his interest. He found you mysterious and he has had a great time learning about you.

Then, WHAM! He realizes he’s in love with you and oh boy, does that scare him.

The thing is that men usually pull back when they need to process their emotions. While many women are open books when it comes to their emotions, most men are not accustomed to having these feelings. Processing them in seclusion feels the safest.

What Can You Do?

If you give him time and you nurture your friendships and hobbies, he’ll most likely come back to you, able to handle his feelings of love for you and ready to move forward.

The worst thing you can do is keep after him while he’s processing his emotions. Let him stew in things on his own for a while. I can’t give you a timetable. Every person is different. What I can say is that if you come to him before he’s ready, it won’t help.

Turn to your girlfriends. Enjoy time with them. Pick up an old hobby or find a new one. Engross yourself in those relationships and hobbies and patiently wait for him to return.

He’s Afraid He’ll Lose His Independence and Freedom

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to slip into some bad habits, like seeing one another to the exclusion of your outside friendships.

For your man, the thought of making a bigger commitment to your relationship might cause him to fear losing his independence and freedom.

Right now, if he wants to hang with the guys, he thinks he’s independent and free enough to do so without any repercussions.

This is where a concept I refer to as perceived freedom comes into play. Perceived freedom is when a guy feels he’s free to hang out with his friends whenever he wants to, but he’ll usually seek your permission or at least an okee dokee first.

If you go into a relationship forbidding him from seeing his friends or whining and complaining every time he wants to watch college football with the guys, he will not only fear he’s losing his independence, he’ll know he is.

What Can You Do?

Let him hang out with his friends. If it seems he’s doing a little too much of it, like more than one or two evenings every couple of weeks, you have things you can do that don’t involve whining, arguing, or complaining.

For example, if he says he wants to hang out to watch Thursday Night Football with his buddies, fine. Let him. But…

Plan something with your girlfriends for that same evening. Make sure he sees you before you leave, and make sure you look and smell great. Kiss him on the cheek and tell him you’ll see him later.

He’ll go watch TNF, but he’ll be thinking about how great you looked and smelled and whether any guys might see you. While he might be afraid to lose his independence, he’s probably more afraid of losing you!

You’ve dampened his time with his friends without complaining or arguing. He’s still hanging out with them, but he’s not having as much fun as he thought he would.

No, this isn’t game-playing. You should always maintain relationships with your friends, regardless of your relationship status. This is you doing what he’s doing – hanging out with friends. The difference is that you look and smell great and he’s going off with smelly men.

Why Does a Man Pull Away? Things Got Too Intense

I’m sure this has happened to you before. You meet a guy and there’s an immediate connection. Sparks are flying right from the start. You find yourselves wanting to spend every moment together and then, BAM. He’s nowhere to be found.

Even though he played a role in this accelerated pace, he’s now stepping back and wondering what the heck just happened.

He’s a little freaked out and needs a moment or five to cool his heels.

Men date first to have fun. They like to uncover the mystery behind who you are. Nothing makes a guy smile inside more than finding out something intriguing about a woman he’s been dating.

How Can You Avoid This?

Let him have that time. Even if you feel this drive to spend tons of time with him, back off. If he’s pressuring you to spend that time, gently slow things down. If you just went out last night and he’s texting for a date tonight, you can say, “I’m sorry Gregg, but I have Yoga class tonight. Are you available on Thursday?” This way, he knows you’re interested, but he recognizes that you have a life outside of dating him.

He might even recognize that he was pushing a little too hard and fast.

It’s okay to suggest an alternate day and time for a date if you do it as I suggested above. Even if you don’t have a Yoga class or anything else planned, seeing him every night will soon lead to him feeling that things are moving too fast.

It’s okay to say, “I’d like to enjoy an evening at home with my dog, Freddy. Maybe we can do a movie this weekend?”

When you suggest that alternate time, which is a few days out, you slow things down and let him know you’re still interested.

why does a man pull away

He May Need Some Man Time

When you’re single, you do what you want, when you want to. You’re a different version of yourself than you are when you’re in a relationship.

This is true for men too. When he’s in a relationship, a man may feel more vulnerable and emotionally expressive than he’s comfortable with. This is uncharted territory for many men and it makes them feel as if they need to retreat.

He might need some time away from your relationship to recharge his man battery. He needs to feel manly again, and he doesn’t see a way to do that in your relationship. This might be when he retreats to his man cave for a while so he can burp the alphabet, scratch himself and watch sports.

If your relationship is new, he’ll find this time when he’s at home. If you’ve been together for a while or you live together, he might spend time at a buddy’s house watching sports and hanging with the guys.

What Can You Do?

Your job is to let him do his manly thing. Don’t fight or argue with him about it. You should use this time to do your own thing. Pursue a hobby or spend time with your friends.

If you pant after him like a lost puppy, you’ll only aggravate the situation and make his need to pull back stronger.

Men need this man time for a variety of reasons. He might be dealing with something difficult, like the loss of a loved one or not getting the job or promotion he was going after. As you read previously, men have a tough time processing those types of emotions and often need time to themselves to do so.

He’s Dealing with Other Stuff

If you’re dating a man who’s going through his divorce still, he might retreat from your relationship so he can deal with the divorce. If there are children involved, there is a lot of emotion tied up with this past relationship.

By retreating from his relationship with you, he’s able to put all his emotional energy into the divorce. In most cases, he will come back to you once everything with his previous marriage is settled.

In other situations, he may be dealing with a significant loss or disappointment. He might be under a lot of stress or pressure at work, which leads him to feel tired and overwhelmed.

Other things like health, money, or outside family issues can sideline even the toughest man.

What Can You Do?

There is a repeating theme here, but that’s because it’s often your best course of action.

You allow him to retreat and lick his wounds or deal with whatever he’s got going on outside of your relationship.

The reason he’s retreating is that he doesn’t want to short-change you by worrying you or spending less time with you. For him, it makes more sense to retreat from the relationship altogether than to try to navigate the relationship and his stressors.

He’s trying not to hurt you, and while his retreat probably does hurt, understanding why he’s doing so should take a lot of the sting out of the situation.

why does a man pull away

Why Does a Man Pull Away? | He has Low Self-Worth

He may think you’re the most awesome woman he’s ever met, but that could also be the problem.

If your guy has low self-worth, he might not believe he deserves a great woman like you. He’s going to distance himself from you before you figure out that you can do better. While in some of the other situations, your guy is distancing himself to protect you, in this case, he’s protecting himself.

There are many reasons why someone has low self-worth, but they have nothing to do with you.

What Can You Do?

The first, and most important thing you must know is that this isn’t your thing to fix. Just like the other issues presented here, this is something he must fix for himself. Still, there are things you can do to help and support him.

Also, when he makes negative comments about himself, don’t be dismissive or try to counter what he said. For example, if he says he wants to lose weight, don’t tell him he’s fine just the way he is or that you love him just like he is. That type of statement doesn’t support his current belief.

Instead, ask him what he’s unhappy with. He might not like how his clothes fit, or he might feel discouraged that he’s winded when he walks around the office. Acknowledge his negative feelings, then offer something positive, “Jack, I know your clothes have gotten a bit tight, but really, I think you’re a very attractive man, inside and out.”

Another thing to be aware of is that he has some negative self-talk going on. He might wish he was a better golfer, like his friend. His rationale is that he can’t play any sport because his golf game sucks. In this case, encourage him not to compare himself to Jack, who went to college on a golf scholarship. Offer to take lessons with him or encourage him to try something different.

When your partner suffers from low self-worth or self-esteem, the best course you can take is to encourage him to engage in positive activities that will boost his confidence and belief in himself. Help him see the wonderful man you see, but don’t push it. Just be there to support him.

He’s Struggling to Identify as Part of a Couple

This works in reverse too, and it might be easier to explain it that way first. When you experience a breakup, one of the things that blindsides you is when people stop referring to you as you guys or you two because you’re single now.

If a guy has been single for any period, he identifies as a single person. He has that freedom you read about earlier. He can hang out with his friends whenever he wants. Vulnerability isn’t an issue. I could go on and on, but I think you see what I mean.

Then, suddenly, he finds himself in a relationship and no longer single. He’s struggling to put all those single pieces into new slots. It doesn’t have anything to do with you or your relationship. He might be very happy as far as that goes, but he’s still struggling.

He had routines centered around being single. He had guys’ nights and Saturdays to work on his motorcycle. Now, even though he wants to spend time with you, he can’t figure out how to do those things he also loves too.

What Can You Do?

Again, the answer is to give him space. Don’t make him feel like one hundred percent of his time must be with you. It should never be that way. Let him work on his motorcycle on Saturdays, or compromise and give him Saturday morning. Let him enjoy guys’ night, sometimes at your house even.

Make the transition from being single to being in a relationship a smooth one for him by not demanding too much of his time at first. Give him that perceived freedom and let him grow into being a partner.

He’s Confused Lust with Love

That early heat in a relationship is lust. It’s a strong physical attraction that pulls you both into sex, probably too soon. Now, that heat is fading and he thinks that means the love is gone too. How do you know the difference?

Lust is characterized by:

  • Overwhelming desire for sex
  • Lack of interest in the other person’s life outside sex with you
  • Hyperfocus on the present, no future thinking
  • Compatibility isn’t even on your radar
  • Your dates are usually in private, where sex is easier

Love is characterized by:

  • An emotional attachment or connection
  • Planning for your future together
  • Ability to be emotionally vulnerable
  • You want to know more about his life
  • It builds slowly

The truth is that no relationship experiences the same level of chemistry all the time, regardless of how long the couple has been together. Relationships naturally go in and out of those times, so just because the heat has faded, it doesn’t mean there’s no love.

What You Can Do

The best course here might be to explain to him that relationships naturally experience ebbs and flows when it comes to chemistry and sexual attraction. The bigger question he should ask himself is how emotionally invested he is in the relationship. How emotionally invested are you? Which category above best describes how you feel?

Sometimes our instinct is to fight for something that we don’t really want, just because it’s slipping away. Take inventory of your feelings before you try to talk him out of or into his.

why does a man pull away

Why Does a Man Pull Away? He’s Moved On

If your relationship is new, and by new, I mean less than a few months old, he might have decided to move on.

By pulling back instead of facing you directly, he’s avoiding hurting you. Those first few months of a relationship are all about getting to know someone and it’s possible that eventually, one or both of you recognize that there are sacrifices you don’t want to make or values that just don’t align.

These relationships can’t usually be saved because there isn’t enough history between you to be meaningful and enticing. Exiting the relationship slowly is easier than just breaking it off, which is what he should do.

What You Can Do

There isn’t much you can do in this situation. If he’s not attracted to you, your best course is to find someone new. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. The two of you simply aren’t compatible.

If this is what’s going on, you also need to put an end to it. Kindly and without malice, invite him for a conversation. Then simply tell it like it is, “Hey Gregg, I think you’re a great guy, but I don’t see us going the distance. I think it’s better if we go our separate ways.”

When men talk to one another, they’re direct, so he’ll understand this and appreciate your honesty. He’s probably internally grateful that he didn’t have to hurt your feelings and relieved that it’s over.

How do You Maintain Your Self-Worth?

Most of the reasons a man pulls away have everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. As you experience this situation, you need to acknowledge the explanations above don’t diminish the pain of feeling his distance, but I hope most of them will give you hope. Just because he’s distant right now doesn’t mean he’s gone forever.

In many of the situations you’ve read about, he needs time or professional help to overcome what’s holding him back. If he’s willing to do the work, there’s still a chance for him to return.

The truth is that in most instances, a man will pull away and you’ll be left asking that first question, why does a man pull away? What I don’t want you to spend a lot of time on is asking yourself what did I do wrong?

His pulling away might be his way of working on an issue he has or of becoming the man he believes you deserve. He might be trying to be better, for you.

What Can You Do While He’s Away?

Instead of viewing this as a life crisis, view it as an opportunity to work on your own life. What would you like to improve upon? Is there a hobby you’ve been interested in? Have you lost touch with a friend or family member?

Take this opportunity to do those things, to make those connections. The busier you stay, the happier you’ll be.

Regardless of what shape you’re in right now, get back into a workout routine. This is a great way to pump some endorphins through your system.

It’s also a great time to go after a promotion or work on getting a new job if you don’t like the one you have.

You’re single, even if it’s temporary. Take advantage of this time!

What Shouldn’t You do While He’s Away

Don’t keep trying to get him to communicate with you. In fact, this might be a time to practice the no-contact rule, if he’s fully extricated himself from your relationship.

Will no contact make him move on?

If he reaches out to you, you reply, but if he waited two days, it’s okay for you to wait, but no longer than the two days he waited. If you reply and he waits two hours, you wait two hours.

At this point, you’re putting into it exactly what he’s putting in. No more and no less. It will do him good to see you out doing things, living your life, working on yourself, or whatever you’re doing.

If he cares for you at all, and my guess is that he does, his interest will be piqued by your behavior. Why? Because he expects you to badger him with texts begging him to come back. He expects you to be down in the dumps.

You’re his Plan B. Whatever his reason for leaving, he’s certain that you’ll be waiting there, still scooping out the Ben and Jerry’s, tearfully waiting for him to return. By not doing that, you’re behaving mysteriously. That will get his attention.

You should also avoid dating right now. This sends him a signal that you’ve moved on, and he won’t put a lot of effort into trying to win you back if he believes this to be true.

You’re not yet at a point of asking for your stuff back or sending his back to him either, unless he’s clearly moved on. If you either don’t want him back or you feel he’s truly done, go ahead, but if you hold any hope of him returning, hang onto that stuff for a while longer.

Why Does a Man Pull Away?

As you’ve now read, there are a host of answers to the question of why does a man pull away. Some of them require him to do some heavy-duty work on himself while others are more about him taking a break to recharge his testosterone again or sort out a problem.

Regardless of his reason, your actions are pretty much the same. Let him go do his thing. Most men go through this at some point in a relationship, so for you, it’s more of a time to wait it out.

Be supportive of him if he needs it, but don’t insert yourself into any situation where it seems he wants to be by himself. Your nurturing instincts won’t serve you well this time. Be patient. I know it sucks to feel the way you do right now, not knowing what the future holds, but I guarantee you better odds of him returning if you follow this advice!

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

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Why do Relationships Fail?

Why do Relationships Fail?

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Whether you’re just getting into your first serious relationship or you’re in a relationship that feels like it’s declining, the question is the same: why do relationships fail?

You want to know so you can either avoid the problems, put your thumb in the dike, and slow the rush of issues.

The truth is that there are many reasons relationships fail, but there are a few that stand out across many divorces and breakups. Fortunately, there are almost always things you can do to turn things around.

First, let’s look at what a failing relationship might look like.

What You’ll Find Here

What does a failing relationship look like?
Why do relationships fail? Poor communication
Lack of trust
Compatibility issues
Problems with addiction
You have different expectations
One of you is a narcissist
You’re growing differently
You grow apart, become bored, or fall into a rut
Money challenges
The relationship goes on autopilot
You’re codependent on one another
Why do relationships fail?

What Does a Failing Relationship Look Like?

There are several signs that your relationship is on the rocks.

  • Every little thing results in an argument
  • You’re thinking about cheating on him because you’re emotionally unhappy and unfulfilled
  • You don’t feel physically close or sexually attracted to your partner any longer
  • One or both of you distrust the other
  • You confide in someone other than your partner about important issues
  • You’d rather do your own thing than hang out with him
  • One or both of you have stopped pitching in around the house
  • You aren’t available for one another; you have your plans, and he has his so there’s no time to spend together
  • One or both of you feel jealous of the other
  • You criticize one another over the smallest things

Why do Relationships Fail? Poor Communication

At the top of the why relationships fail hit list is poor communication. Without great communication, I’m not sure how any relationship survives, whether it’s a romantic couple, two best friends, or a brother and sister.

Communication enables you to express appreciation, gratitude, disappointment, frustration, happiness, sadness, and a host of other feelings and emotions.

Not all communication is positive, especially if too many negative feelings are swirling around. Then communicating becomes the way to show your contempt for the other person through passive-aggressive comments, hurtful statements, and other negative utterances.

Contempt and respect are opposites, yet both are delivered via communication. Therefore, you can see that your choice of words and the tone with which you deliver those words is meaningful.

The same statement, delivered with a different tone of voice and attitude can be taken either way.

Perhaps the most important thing you communicate in a relationship is love. You do this through both body language and words.

Sitting down to have a conversation with your arms crossed over your chest shows closed body language. You’re saying that you aren’t open to whatever the other person has to say.

Sometimes, you aren’t even aware that your body language is defying you. Watching the body language of your partner tells you a lot about how he’s feeling at that moment as well.

Download 80 Ways to Read a Man

why do relationships fail

Lack of Trust

Aside from poor communication, lack of trust is a big answer to the question of why do relationships fail.

Your romantic partner is the person you rely on to have your back. He’s your knight in shining armor and you’re his princess, or at least that’s how it should be. What I mean by that is you should treat one another with the highest respect and regard.

You treat him as if he’s the most important person in your world and vice versa. He makes you feel safe and secure.

But if the trust between you is broken, it puts a strain on your relationship. The question you must examine is whether the trust was truly broken or whether there are factors that make you think trust was broken.

In other words, is there proof that he’s done something to break your trust? Can you back up your feelings with evidence? Your best friend telling you she saw your guy having lunch with a beautiful woman doesn’t mean he’s cheating.

There are many reasons for him to be lunching with someone you don’t know. It may pertain to his job, or it might be an old school friend he ran across. The other possibility, and I’ve seen this happen so don’t dismiss it, is that your friend isn’t telling you the truth.

Always make sure you know what you’re talking about before you level accusations or become jealous.

Jealousy is more often based on fears and insecurities than it is on actual proof, so approach with caution before leveling any charges.

Is Your Relationship Over?

Do you think your relationship is teetering on the edge of disaster? Has he aleady left? This is a great article for sure, but there are others! Just click the button to read them.

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Why do Relationships Fail? Compatibility Issues

Early in a relationship, you have heat and excitement. You might be sexually compatible and for a while, that drives the relationship.

But as time passes, other areas of compatibility become more important, like being compatible in your values, long-term goals, and ideas of what your relationship will look like.

You may discover that while you want a house full of children, your guy doesn’t want any, or wants just one or two.

One of you may envision a life of traveling the world while the other is a homebody. You might be financially thrifty while your beau is a spendthrift.

There are tons of ways in which couples can be incompatible. Some of them can be worked through while others cannot. Forcing a man to father children when he doesn’t want them can lead to him resenting not only you but your children.

As your relationship blossoms, some of these things will rise to the surface and you can talk about them. If one partner is financially sound while the other isn’t, you can probably teach him and guide him about how to be better at his finances.

Still, there are instances where compatibility just isn’t possible and at that point, you’re best to cut your losses and find someone with whom you’re more compatible. As sad as it may be to realize the problem, it’s sadder still to go on in a relationship that won’t bring you happiness.

Problems with Addiction

Some people have addictive personalities. They may fall into alcohol or drug abuse, or they might become addicted to gambling or another vice like porn.

While one person may be addicted, the impact on those around that person ripples out like the rings from a rock dropped in water. Arguments might center around the addiction itself, or the impact of the addiction, like financial stress.

Addiction also impacts you if you spend any amount of time covering for your partner. He can’t go to work because he’s too hungover so you call him in sick to his boss.

Additionally, drinking or using drugs alters your personality. Some people become meaner when they drink.

As friends and family see what’s happening, they may try to intervene in the hopes of protecting you. But, if you’re in denial about the problem or don’t like the thought of someone else realizing there’s a problem, that intervention may distance you from friends and family.

Abusers often can’t keep a job, so they ask family members for money, creating additional strain on those relationships.

Unless you’re both addicted, problems with addiction are one reason why relationships fail.

why do relationships fail

Why Do Relationships Fail? You Have Different Expectations

It isn’t easy for two people to stay together for decades without there being some conflict along the way. How you manage that conflict makes the difference between staying together and drifting apart.

While physical and sexual attraction drives compatibility early in a relationship, other things take center stage as the relationship ages. As you grow older, you might find yourself more focused on what you want than what you both want.

A few types of differences in expectations are below.

You’re in it for the Long Haul – He Isn’t

While you may be out there looking for your Mr. Forever, your new beau might be seeking Ms. Right now but not Ms. Forever. In other words, he’s looking for hookups and you’re looking for a ring.

At some point in your early dating with a guy, you need to be clear on what your expectations are. It sucks to get hooked on a guy who’s more into hookups.

You Have Different Priorities

While you may want to travel the world, your new guy might be more into building his career or growing a new business.

You might prioritize having children while he wants to travel.

It’s okay to have those different priorities, but when it comes to thinking long-term, they need to be sorted out. For example, does he just want to travel while he’s young, then settle down and raise a family? Is he so career-driven right now because he has an end goal?

Priorities tend to change as you get older. Sometimes, people’s priorities are made in their immaturity and as they mature, they make a course correction.

A healthy discussion is often the best way to navigate priorities and determine whether there’s a compatibility issue now or a potential one in the future.

Why Do Relationships Fail? One of You is a Narcissist

It’s almost impossible for a narcissist to be in a successful relationship because their only focus is themselves. They find it difficult to develop intimacy with anyone due to their constant need to be admired and adored.

It’s easy to get sucked in by a narcissist because they can be charming, but soon, their over-inflated impression of themselves will rear its ugly head and make getting close almost impossible.

Some research indicates that narcissists are more likely to cheat on their partners. Additionally, they’re more prone to manipulation, extreme selfishness, breaking rules, contempt toward others, violating boundaries, a sense of entitlement, and so on. Pretty much any word or phrase you’d associate with arrogance or self-centeredness applies here.

A narcissist is never going to see life through your eyes, and they don’t care how their actions are impacting you. Just how everyone else’s actions are impacting them.

This relationship is destined for failure. In this instance, there isn’t much you can do except find someone new.

You’re Growing Differently

When you’re young, your life is changing by leaps and bounds. You’re finding a way to a career or making plans to have a family. You and your partner might be on similar growth paths as you journey together.

Then, something changes and one of you advances through your career faster while the other either struggles to find the same success or stays home to raise the family.

Your social circles are no longer filled with the same people. One of you is doing the raising kids/mom or dad group/soccer thing while the other is building a social network around work cohorts.

Your goals are different, your social lives are different, and your growth plan is different. This can make it tricky to identify with the other person and their needs.

This is something that can be talked through if you’re both attentive, compassionate, and non-judgmental with one another.

Use excellent listening skills to truly hear your partner’s concerns and be kind in expressing yours. Chances are neither of you realizes what the other is thinking or feeling right now and with some cool-headed discussions, you can work through a solution that benefits you both.

why do relationships fail

Why do Relationships Fail? You Grow Apart, Become Bored, or Fall into a Rut

These are very common reasons why people grow unhappy in their relationships, but these reasons don’t necessarily mean you’re destined for relationship failure.

Chances are you just need to change things up a bit. In the case of growing apart, it’s sometimes possible to evaluate where you both are and see if you can come back together. For longer-term relationships, this is often a problem, but it doesn’t need to be a relationship ender.

How have you grown apart? Are there areas in which you feel you come back together? For example, you stayed home, ran your own business online, and raised your kids while he had a job outside your home for many years.

Now, you find yourself with kids in college, a business that practically runs itself, and time on your hands. You want to travel, but does your partner?

He’s got a great career, which he earned through hard work and dedication, but he’s nearing retirement so while he always worked hard, you may find that he too is ready to travel.

Of course, there are other instances in which you can’t come together and too much distance has developed between you. Then, you’re more likely to end up apart than together.

Money Challenges

Money is a great divider for couples, and not just married couples. For men, money is a big deal because it’s how they provide for their families. Women often don’t understand this and even though money is important to them as well, the levels of importance or what that means to their relationship are often different.

As I mentioned earlier, sometimes a spendthrift and a frugal spender end up together and this can produce disastrous results. I also said, however, that you can often work this issue out.

Many times, if someone is a spendthrift, one of two things happened in their earlier years. Either they had very wealthy parents who paid no attention to what things cost, or they were never taught financial responsibility because their parents didn’t know it either.

In either case, you were raised to be financially responsible and now you’re faced with teaching your partner to be the same.

Money issues cause you to be fearful and anxious. If your partner doesn’t regard money in the same way you do, you might not feel secure or safe. You may feel powerless and as if your life is out of control.

None of that feels good and it can lead to relationship issues if it’s not reined in.

Why do Relationships Fail? The Relationship Goes on Autopilot

Some folks think that after they’ve been together for a while, the relationship can survive on autopilot. This is a very wrong assumption.

Relationships take constant time and effort on the part of both partners.

I am a big proponent of weekly, or at least bi-weekly date nights. This is a time when you come together to enjoy one another. There’s no discussion of hot topics, no talking about the upcoming week’s schedule.

This is a time to plan together and catch up with one another. Set your phone aside to allow for face-to-face talking and engagement.

You can also keep your relationship from going on autopilot by staying tuned in to what’s important to your partner. Does he have a new hobby? Show some interest in it or try to combine one of your hobbies with one of his.

Also, remember that boredom in the bedroom is never good for a relationship. Explore one another’s fantasies. Try new things. Buy some sexy lingerie or try some couple’s games to spice things up.

If you feel things are becoming too routine, it’s time to shake them up!

You’re Co-Dependent on One Another

Codependence in a relationship is problematic. You should each rely on yourselves for happiness and satisfaction, but in a codependent relationship, your happiness is often based on your partner’s happiness.

An example is being with a partner who battles addiction or mental health issues. When he’s up, you’re up, but when he’s down, so are you. It has nothing to do with where you are in life and everything to do with where he is.

That’s not the only way you can be codependent, but it’s a great way to explain a more complex problem. The article linked above will give you more insight into codependence.

Why do Relationships Fail?

The bottom line is that relationships take time and energy. Think of it like a plant or a child. Every day, it needs time and nurturing so it can grow to be stronger.

If one or both of you aren’t putting in that time and energy, things begin to spiral downward. Sometimes, if you both begin spending time and energy again, you can turn things around, but if you wait too long, there might not be a way to recover.

We’ve discussed perhaps a dozen reasons why relationships fail here and you might see snippets of your relationship in one or more of those topics.

It’s up to you and your partner to sit down and determine whether you can overcome the challenges in your relationship.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating

How to Stop a Man from Cheating

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Today, I’d like to help you learn how to stop a man from cheating, but I’m here today to tell you that there is such a thing as being 100% faithful!

It’s true that as many as forty percent of couples experience some form of infidelity during their marriage. I think before I share with you how to stop a man from cheating, it might be a good idea to look at why men cheat.

Why Men Cheat

Men are more likely to cheat, which is the bad news, but there’s plenty of good news coming, so hang on! What I want you to remember as you read this is that you aren’t responsible for his actions. Regardless of the reason for his cheating, he made a choice to turn to someone else instead trying to work things out with you first.

Additionally, I’m using the word “you” here to really mean people in general. It might be you, or it might be him. Don’t take it personally!

Sex

One of the more common reasons men cheat is for sex. If he’s asking for sex and being turned down too frequently, he’ll become frustrated, and he may also take that rejection to heart. This will then make him feel insecure and unloved. It’s actually this feeling of insecurity that will lead him to cheat.

Frustration

If a man becomes frustrated with the relationship, he may seek an outside relationship that’s more open with better communication. Of course, many new relationships are great in these two areas, only to falter later.

When there are problems between you that go unresolved, it creates this feeling of frustration. Ultimately, this is often a communication problem, or an inability to solve problems.

Faulty Attachment Styles

Childhood trauma or growing up in a faulty relationship can give you faulty attachment styles, which means you enter into relationships you aren’t emotionally equipped to manage. Problems with attachment can also come from low confidence and self-esteem, making you afraid your partner will leave.

This, of course, causes you to be overzealous in wanting to know where he is all the time because you don’t believe you deserve him and that he’ll cheat. It turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy because the more jealous you become, the more likely he is to do the one thing you fear – cheat.

how to keep a man from cheating

Addiction

There are many types of addiction, but none of them are good for a relationship, regardless of which partner is battling the addiction.

Alcohol addiction in particular is problematic because alcohol lowers his inhibitions, making him more likely to use good judgment. While he might not consider having an affair when he’s sober, he might not really give much thought to it when he’s drunk.

One of His Parents Cheated

While cheating isn’t hereditary, seeing it and viewing it as how marriages are can skew his idea of what’s right and wrong in a relationship. Sometimes, it seems as if cheating runs in a family, and maybe it does, but not because of genetics.

Mental Illness

Some mental illnesses, like bipolar disease, make someone more prone to cheating. In the case of bipolar disease, for example, when someone is experiencing manic episodes, they’re less sexually inhibited.

Other things may come from childhood traumas, which have been shown to lead to cheating if they’re unresolved.

He’s Cheated Before

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Perhaps you’ve heard this and brushed it off, thinking your guy will be different. He may be, but if he cheated before, he’s more likely to do it again. While many men will think twice about cheating the first time, once they’ve done it, it’s not something they’re as apprehensive about the second time.

I always caution women of this if they’re now dating a man who cheated on his wife to be with them. You think you’re safe. He won’t do this to you. Well, don’t count on it because he just might.

Psychological Issues

Narcissists are particularly prone to cheating, which in their case, is often driven by ego and their own sense of entitlement. Since narcissists are also self-centered, they may lack empathy and not even care much about the impact of their cheating on you.

Dissatisfaction and/or Unhappiness

All too often, couples reach a point in their relationship where they believe they don’t need to put the work into it any longer. They’ve been together for a long time and things seem to be humming along.

This is a very faulty belief. Successful marriages take work throughout the entire marriage. As your marriage goes through different seasons, different types of work are required. For example, early in your marriage, you’re having children, which takes a lot of your energy away from one another. During this time, date nights not only give you a break from childcare but also give you a chance to reconnect.

As your relationship gets older and the kids grow up, you’ve probably each developed your own careers, interests, and hobbies. You spend more of your time on those things and less with each other. Again, a regular date night can be a great weapon against disconnect.

As you slowly grow apart, sex is less frequent too, and you already read about how that goes.

Feeling Unappreciated

This always makes me think of the movie, The Breakup with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. If you’ve seen it, then you have a great idea of how feeling unappreciated can damage a relationship.

In case you haven’t seen it, allow me a moment to explain feeling unappreciated.

He knows you have a busy week, so he offers to pitch in a little extra. He does his usual things, but then he also cooks dinner once or twice, or he offers to help clean up when he usually doesn’t. He might offer to take kids to practice or run some of your errands. In the end, all he gets from you is a quick nod as you dash off to the next thing.

You know how much you like to be appreciated for doing all of those things he’s doing for you now, and he’s no different. It’s like being ignored, and for men, there’s an extra twinge in there because men show their love through their actions, so when their actions go unappreciated, they feel unloved.

You Aren’t Really Committed to One Another

When you’re less committed to your relationship, you’re more likely to cheat. It makes sense if you think about it. Less of a commitment means less of an attachment to your partner, so what’s the big deal, right?

Well, of course it’s a big deal, especially if one of you feels more committed than the other.

Boredom

Boredom is really an overlying cause for some of these others, like sex. It’s no fun to be bored in anything, especially a relationship.

Early in your relationship, he didn’t know anything about you, and he had to chase you. Now, he has you and he knows a lot about you so that thrill of the chase is gone.

Boredom can also come into play if your sex life is too mundane. Every time you have sex it’s like a script you keep playing out. The same exact thing every single time. Are you even enjoying that? Probably not.

how to stop a man from cheating

Aging or Faulty Body Image

We’ve all heard of that midlife crisis men are expected to go through. They buy the fancy Corvette, dye their hair to wash out the gray and get a girlfriend who’s half their age.

When a man is going through this, he’s questioning whether he still has his old mojo. Cheating is his way of proving to himself that he hasn’t lost it, whatever it is.

Additionally, a man will blame his wife for letting herself go, which probably translates into she had children, which impacts her body, and she didn’t get back to that size six that she was twenty-five years ago. Of course, he forgets that he isn’t the same buff specimen he was back then either.

Payback

If you’ve had an affair, he might seek revenge by having his own affair. Of course, this tit-for-tat mentality does nothing good for your relationship.

If you want to get back together after you’ve cheated, you really should seek a marriage counselor so those unresolved feelings can be addressed and hurt feelings can be healed.

Secondary Causes for an Affair

While the above are all primary reasons for having an affair, there are some secondary things that can happen as well.

  • Online cheating where you don’t necessarily physically meet someone, but you form an emotional bond, taking away from the emotional bond you have with your spouse
  • Opportunities like traveling for long periods of time or having a long-distance relationship where spouses are apart more than they’re together
  • Poor boundaries like someone coming on to him and him not having the ability to say no
  • Pornography can become a gateway to cheating for some, especially as it’s become more readily available through the internet

How to Stop a Man from Cheating

With the causes for cheating in clear view, let’s examine how to stop a man from cheating. Some ways may seem obvious after reading the causes, but I’d like to spell them out anyway.

Enjoy a High Benefit Relationship

Okay, what does this mean? I call it putting pennies in the jar. When you and your guy dated in the early days, everything was exciting and new. I bet you both remember almost everything about your first date.

Those are pennies. Memories you make and share together. That’s how you build intimacy between you. Many people mistake intimacy for sex, but they’re not the same. If they were, people who partake in hookups would feel that intimacy, but they don’t.

When you have a high-benefit relationship, you have loads of those pennies and you’re continuously adding new pennies to the jar. Taking vacations together, strolling downtown together in the winter to view decorated shop windows, going apple picking, or even spending a cold night by the fire binge-watching Outlander are all ways to add pennies.

So, putting that energy into your relationship is very meaningful. Always looking for ways to share a special moment or two helps him not want to cheat. The cost of cheating would be too high. He has too much to lose.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Be Open to Sexual Experimentation

You have fantasies and so does he, but many people feel very vulnerable when sharing those fantasies. In fact, many people never share their fantasies. If he does share his, or if he asks you to do something a little different, don’t immediately shoot him down.

Be open to those new experiences. Who knows, you might even enjoy it more than you thought you would. This keeps him from being sexually bored, which is a huge deal when it comes to keeping him from cheating!

Also, if he shares a fantasy with you, try not to shoot him down too quickly. Again, this makes him feel vulnerable, as it would you. If you dismiss him or make fun of him, he won’t share again, but he might go find someone who won’t laugh at him and is willing to try.

Maintain Your Own Social Life

It’s possible to smother a man by spending too much time with him or demanding that he spend that much time with you.

By staying busy, you’re doing a couple of things. You’re placing value on his time with you and you’re allowing him time to be away from you and miss you.

Couples don’t need to be together 100% of the time in order to be successful, in fact, this is a great way to drive him away. Instead, get a hobby or two, enjoy a girls’ night with your friends, and maybe even do a night of Yoga once a week.

By not being underfoot all the time, you’re giving him time to realize that he wants to be with you.

how to stop a man from cheating

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Let Him Know He’s Wanted

Nobody likes to feel unwanted. Let him know you want him around by showing him you’re still interested in him. Tease him a little from time to time. Entice him with a sexy dress or by offering up a new sex toy or something he’s been fantasizing about.

When he’s thinking about cheating, it might be because he doesn’t think you’re interested in him any longer.

Appreciate Him

Men show their love for women through their actions. When he does things for you like getting your oil changed, buying your favorite coffee drink, or stopping to get your laundry, he’s showing you he loves you.

A simple thank you, baking him his favorite cookies, or preparing his favorite meal from time to time goes a long way in showing him that you appreciate the things he does.

For some people, appreciation is their love language, which intensifies the meaning and impact of it.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Be the One to Initiate Sex Sometimes

It’s the twenty-first century so it’s okay to initiate sex. In fact, your guy would love that. Men sometimes feel like they’re the only ones interested in sex, so if you initiate it from time to time, it shows him that you want him and that you’re interested in him.

For him, this might be how he measures how desirable he is to you and if you’re not initiating sex with him, he may believe, falsely or not, that you don’t find him desirable.

Don’t Lose Yourself in the Relationship

This kind of goes along with maintaining your social life, but it’s a little different. When you’re with someone you like, you have the urge to change who you are to be who you think he wants you to be.

But he didn’t fall for who he thinks you might be. He fell for you as you are or were. He fell in love with your quirks, your uniqueness, your style, and your personality.

Don’t try to change that because that is the woman he fell for, not some image of yourself that you think you need to become. Stay true to yourself.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Don’t Be Controlling

Fear makes you feel like you need to control him. You fear he’ll leave you if you don’t keep a tight rein on him, but that’s actually what may push him away.

Control comes in many forms, including manipulation through criticism, nagging, threatening, punishing, and even rewarding.

Let him be who he is, just like you want him to accept you for who you are. The behaviors you’re using to control him are the same ones that will push him out of your arms and into someone else’s.

Allow Him His Social Life

Just like you need to maintain your social life outside of your relationship, so does he, but many women feel this need to keep their guy from his friends.

He had those friends long before he met you. Some of those friendships may go back to childhood. Trying to eliminate those relationships can lead to resentment.

Just because you allow him to hang out with his friends doesn’t mean he’s automatically going to cheat or do something you don’t want him to. He was hanging out with them before he met you and you liked him then. He’s no different now.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Let Him See that He Lights You Up

Nothing pleases a man more than seeing your face light up when he walks into a room. For anyone, this is a very nice, yet indirect way of telling someone how much value they have in your life.

He needs to know that he’s having a positive influence on your life and that you truly enjoy being with him. A great way to let him know that is to show it on your face.

Also, let him know that you’re happy to be with him. Men aren’t intuitive when it comes to subtle hints, so tell him you’re happy.

Treat Him Like He’s Your Best Friend

I don’t know why, but sometimes people treat their partner like more of an enemy than a friend. Your guy might not be your best girlfriend that you share everything with, but he’s probably still your best friend.

Treat him with kindness, consideration, and respect. This shows him that you care for him and lets him know that you value him as an important part of your life.

Men aren’t intuitive like you might think they are, so don’t drop subtle hints.

how to stop a man from cheating

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Show an Interest in His Life

Your lives are intertwined. His work might be a mystery to you because you’re in totally different fields, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask him about it. When you know he has an important presentation or a big meeting, be sure to ask how it went or offer to help him prepare. Maybe slip a You’ve got this, Babe type of note into his computer bag as a quick pick-me-up for him.

You can also show an interest in his hobbies. This is a great way for the two of you to bond. It’s even better when you can combine a hobby of yours with one of his. If you can’t combine, showing an interest in his hobby causes him to transfer some of his love for that hobby onto you.

You can do this by learning more about his hobby or buying him gifts related to his hobby. I have a friend who’s into taking apart cars that don’t run and putting them back together with new parts. He turns them into rat rods as a hobby. For Christmas, his wife got him tools and other items to help him finish his current project, which is a Jeep Wrangler.

Encourage Him to Be the Best Version of Himself

We all need a cheerleader. Be there to back him up, support him when he needs it, and give him a little nudge when he’s a little unsure of his path.

If you’re the one who’s there for him in his pursuit of greatness, his love for you will only grow. When he experiences something great, be there to celebrate with him and encourage him to try something new.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Take Care of Yourself

I get a lot of flak for this one because people misunderstand what I’m saying, so hear me out before you move on. When you take care of yourself, I want you to do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Here’s why it’s important to your relationship, though.

When you take care of yourself, it’s a signal to the outside world that you have high self-esteem and self-worth. If your confidence is a little low, taking care of yourself can help you build it.

Additionally, taking care of yourself, which means drinking plenty of water, eating healthy meals, getting plenty of sleep, and working out in some way, helps you alleviate stress and anxiety.

When you’re taking care of yourself, your guy can’t use the excuse that you’ve let yourself go, as men tend to do in the middle of their own midlife crisis.

Focus on Your Own Personal Growth

While you’re being a cheerleader for your guy, he might also be your greatest fan. Personal growth is something I believe we should never abandon. I’m always in search of something new to learn or try.

Personal growth happens in many ways. You can learn new skills or hobbies, advance your career, or read self-help and educational books. Travel to new places and explore new cultures or just change things in your life, like where you live or what you do for your job.

Personal growth keeps your confidence up and also keeps you interesting and challenging to your guy. It also injects a bit of mystery. If you come home saying you’ve decided to take up rock climbing or candle making, your guy will shake his head with a smile and wonder what’s next.

This keeps him interested in you and intrigued.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Give Him Personal Space When He Needs It

Men and women manage most things in their lives differently. One example is how Men Love in Different Ways. I’ve already mentioned this a couple of times. While women are verbal, men take action.

You want to hear him say “I love you” so badly that you miss the signs that tell you he does love you. Men aren’t verbal. Yes, a man will say “I love you” because he knows you expect it, but his real signs that he loves you come in the things he does for you.

One way men and women are different is in how they manage stress and emotional situations. For a guy, it’s difficult sometimes to manage emotions. Many men are raised to believe that the only acceptable emotions are anger and frustration, leaving them unable to cope with emotions like sadness and disappointment.

So when your guy is feeling something he doesn’t know how to manage, he needs space. Meanwhile, you’re probably a nurturer who wants to help and soothe him, and when he turns you away, you take it personally and get upset.

It’s a major disconnect between men and women that causes many problems.

Instead of trying to nurture him, leave him alone. Let him work things out on his own. When he’s ready, he’ll come to you if he needs you, but forcing him to talk to you about it won’t help him. He needs space and time to work through this by himself, so please give it to him. Find other things to do like working on your hobbies or hanging out with your friends.

He’ll come around and be grateful to you if you allow him this time.

Take control of your relationship by understanding men

Control Your Own Emotions

Since men can’t often manage their own emotions, this leaves them also unable to manage yours.

Every human on the planet experiences difficult emotions, but few understand what I’m about to tell you – that you can control your reactions to what you’re feeling. Please don’t be upset with me for telling you that. This is a life lesson that, once learned, will make you a much happier person.

If you do experience something that’s emotionally difficult, call a girlfriend, your mother, or your sister and unload the brunt of your emotions on them first. Share the details, scream, cry, stomp your feet, or do whatever it takes to burn off that initial energy.

Of course, better yet is to choose how to react to the situation and use less aggressive emotions, but that’s for another post.

Once you meet up with your guy, you’ve burned off all that energy from the situation and you’re calmer. Just know that he’s going to want to fix the problem, so when you start telling him about it, only wanting a sounding board, try not to step on his natural urge to fix it.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Make Your Relationship a Priority

Earlier, I said that you can’t put a relationship on autopilot and expect it to survive. Instead, make your relationship a priority. Set a day of the week that’s only for date night. That’s a sacred appointment on your calendar that you don’t break unless it’s a true emergency.

Setting aside this time allows you to spend time with one another alone, and it provides you with the chance to reconnect. This is especially important as your relationship ages and you drift off in different directions.

Make the commitment to one another to always prioritize your relationship. Think of it this way, if your relationship falters, it hurts your children and other family relationships, so making it a priority is making your family a priority at the same time.

Don’t Talk About Your Relationship to Everyone

It’s fine to have a bestie to share your relationship woes with, but don’t post them on Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media platform. It’s petty and cheap and it’s there forever, long after whatever disagreement sent off in that direction to begin with.

Ideally, you don’t share your relationship with anyone, and you solve your problems by communicating with one another, but I know that isn’t realistic. Sometimes, you just need to burn off that anger or frustration and I just told you to do that with a friend. When you’re talking about your relationship, make it a trusted friend – someone you know won’t go off blabbing to everyone.

How to Stop a Man from Cheating | Wrap Up

I hope you searched this topic out of curiosity and not because you truly fear that your guy may cheat, but if that is your fear, I hope what you’ve read here has helped you a lot.

Keeping a relationship on solid ground isn’t difficult, but it does take an effort on not just your part but his too.

If you’re still dating, make sure this guy isn’t one who has a wandering eye. I would caution you against a guy who seems to be relationship-hopping. This means he lacks the confidence to maintain a great relationship.

If you’re already in a relationship or married, you now have the tools you need to keep things going smoothly.

Be sure to check out my book, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, which is linked below, for more tips on how to keep your relationship great!

Is He a Keeper? Four Test Dates to Find Out

Is He a Keeper? Four Test Dates to Find Out

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

I often tell you that the best way to answer the question, “is he a keeper” is to take him on dates that will expose everything about him. You need to look past the killer smile and the six-pack abs, and see the real man.

You may be man shopping, or evaluating a new man, based on a list you created. Does he have a good job, or is he a slacker? Is he kind to others? Does he have a temper? Does he have kids, or an ex wife? Is he looking to settle down, or is he just out for a good time? Is he the possessive, jealous type? Is he being honest, or is he a habitual liar? Does he drink too much, or take drugs? Is he a player? All these thoughts running around in your brain could drive a girl crazy!

But, coming right out and asking him about all this can quickly feel like more of an interview than a date. Instead of playing reporter, test your new guy with these four dates, guaranteed to set your mind at ease. Then, you can make an informed decision on whether or not he’s a keeper.

Date #1: The Meet His Friends Date

Suggest a get-together with HIS friends. You could all go grab a beer at a pub, or maybe you could host a backyard cookout, or sit in on a poker night? This is a really easy way to get some clarity when your eyes are clouded with little hearts (and big biceps). If his friends are all immature or if they are players, chances are your guy is too. Take time to talk to all his friends. If he has been lying to you all along, an accidental revelation from his close pal can be a real eye-opener.

On the other hand, if he hangs with a good group of guys, where does he stand in the pack? Do his friends have respect for him? Pay close attention to how he behaves around the guys? Does he behave differently from the man he is with you? Does he put you second when it comes to his buddies, or is he attentive and proud to show you off?

Date #2: The Meet Your Friends Date

You should make sure YOUR friends get to meet your new guy as well. Throw a small dinner party with the girls or meet up with friends at a bar or restaurant. Girlfriends have your back, and even though you may not like what they have to say, they may see something about him that you are missing – like if he’s checking out other women, or even worse, hitting on one of your friends! Nobody can better answer the question, “is he a keeper” than your friends!

Your girlfriends can also ask the tough questions for you — all those thoughts running around your brain and driving you crazy! You can even give them a specific list of things you want to know, before the get together. After all, you can’t help it if your friends are overprotective of you!

Date #3: The Too Much To Drink Date

Alcohol is like a man’s truth serum. But if you want to get the whole truth and nothing but, YOU need to stay completely sober! Whether you nurse one drink all night, or stick to sparkling water with a twist of citrus, go to Happy Hour and see how he acts. Alternatively, you can drop in while he’s out with the guys, after he’s already had a few drinks.

Is he a loud, rude, and/or obnoxious drunk? Is he overly grabby and behaving inappropriately or disrespectfully? Is he aggressive, picking fights with anyone and everyone? Is he embarrassing himself and acting like a complete idiot? Or worse, is he drunk ALONE? All these can be big red flags.

On the other hand, maybe he has a few too many but keeps his cool, or maybe he’s a guy who doesn’t overdo it and drinks responsibly. You won’t know for sure until you go on this date!

Date #4: The Meet His Family Date

This is last on the list since this normally would not happen until you were dating for a while. But it’s really important to see how a man treats his family, and in particular, his mother. This can be very telling. If he does not respect his own mom, chances are he will not treat any woman in his life with respect. Of course, if he is all about Mama and puts her above everyone else, including you, you may also want to think twice.

His family knows him better than anyone, so be prepared to hear embarrassing stories about his childhood. If any serious issues come to light, trust that these are the people who love him unconditionally and would not say something disparaging if it were not true. Of course, if he has a strained relationship with his family, you may need to rely on the power of female intuition to tell you what is true and what is not. Be sure to keep this in mind – tension and mistrust within a family could be another red flag.

Remember, YOU are the chooser. There are good men out there waiting to date you, and maybe you have already found one. If you are not sure about the new man in your life, take Gregg’s good advice and test your guy with these four dates.

Don’t you think you’ve dated enough losers? Isn’t it time to find a great guy to date? Maybe you think you already have!

This book will help you know for sure! You’ll go in-depth on the good and bad qualities to look for in a man so you an know for sure.

End the guessing game and Weed out the Users!

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