Stop Questioning Yourself and Start Following Your Woman’s Intuition

Stop Questioning Yourself and Start Following Your Woman’s Intuition

Build Confidence, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

There’s a strong force within you that cannot be explained.

There’s no pie chart, scientific proof or college course to describe this power.

It’s the opposite of logic.

You were born with it and it cannot be sold.

It is dead-on accurate.

What is it?

woman's intuition

It’s a woman’s intuition!

How many times have you had that feeling in your gut that you didn’t listen to?

That voice pushing you to dump the guy, quit your job or move to Paris?

But you didn’t listen to her because it was just a sudden urge and “a sudden urge” shouldn’t be trusted without further exploration.

But that further exploration never comes because you’ve already decided it was just a crazy thought.

And the urge passes…again.

Two years later, you find out that your boyfriend was cheating all along.

Five years later, the job you knew was a dead end no longer exists – the company shuttered its doors.

You should have trusted your woman’s intuition!

I’m Gregg, a man who knows a lot more about your intuition than you do. Yes, I do!

How? Because I know how men think. And I realize that nine times out of ten, had you gone with your woman’s intuition, you would have solved your problem.

And if that’s the case with men, doesn’t it make sense that your woman’s intution might be spot on with other parts of your life? Your career? Who you hangout with? That trip that you said no to?

I get loads emails every day from women like you and I immediately recognize that they’re upset about something because they didn’t trust their woman’s intuition…again.

They blame themselves over and over for failed relationships.

And when I ask them what they feel inside – they come up with the right answer, the answer I know to be true almost every time!

woman's intuition

It’s amazing!

And yet, they don’t use the most powerful tool they possess, why?

Because if your confidence is low, you don’t trust yourself to have good thoughts. You might not think you deserve a job better than the one you have. You might mistakenly think you deserve a guy who treats you like crap.

Sometimes it happens because we pretend to be someone we aren’t. We make decisions to make other people happy. Sometimes we make poor decisions that go against our true urges for reasons we do not even understand.

A Woman’s Intuition Conclusion

Maybe you didn’t follow your interior decorating career because your folks pushed you towards the family dry cleaning business.

I’m here to say that it’s not to late to alter your course. You don’t always need to be rational. You don’t need some extra analysis to confirm what you believe to be true. Your urges are very much rational and valid – they do not need confirmation.

Your urges of intuition are all you need because this is the true you screaming, internally, to stop what you are doing, listen and change course!

If you do, I bet you will be a happier person.

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

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Ahh The Delights of Self-Care Sunday!

Ahh The Delights of Self-Care Sunday!

Build Confidence, Self care

Self-care is something we all need but many of us don’t integrate into our lives. One great way to fix this problem is to implement a practice of self-care Sunday.

I know. I hear you. Sunday is either your day of rest, a family day or a catch-up day. You don’t have time to pile in some ridiculous self-care Sunday routine.

Hear me out, okay? It won’t take you more than a few minutes to read this article and then, if you still think it’s not for you, no problem.

Why You Need Self-Care Sunday

I honestly don’t know how women do it. You go all day, every day, doing three things at once, seemingly without a break. Men can’t do this. We must do one thing at a time.

The thing about going ninety miles an hour through life is that at some point, you begin to feel either overwhelmed or burned out. This can cause you a frustrating mental shutdown and those never seem to happen at opportune moments.

By instituting a self-care Sunday routine, even if it lasts just thirty minutes, you’re avoiding that overwhelm or burnout.

What Exactly IS Self-Care Sunday?

By name, you might think that you’re being asked to set aside an entire day, once a week, just for yourself. Seems like a lot, doesn’t it?

Yes. It does.

But what if you committed to setting aside just an hour of that day? What if you could take one hour to clear your mind with meditation, a hot bath or some other activity? What if you were able to spend that hour reading a great dating book or practicing a creative hobby?

The idea of self-care Sunday isn’t about setting aside an entire day. It’s about saying, “Hey, it’s Sunday and I’m going to do something for me today.” You don’t need do the same thing every week or even set aside the same amount of time every week.

All you need to do is snag an hour or two, more if you want to, and declare it as your own to do with whatever you want. The more you do it, the easier it will be and the more you’ll look forward to it from week to week.

What Should You do?

This is totally up to you. Some people like to get out into nature. Others like to listen to music or read a book. Still others just want some peace and quiet and they don’t care where it comes from.

It really depends on you and what your priorities are. If you go to church on Sundays, choose a time after church so you aren’t restricted timewise.

If you have a family, set aside some of your day to spend with them and then ask for time to yourself. If you give them what they’re craving from you first, it’ll be easier to get what you want – alone time.

In my book, The Little Self Care Handbook, I’ve cultivated dozens of ways in which you can practice self-care any day of the week.

Here are a few ideas to get your juices flowing:

  • Enjoy a decadent treat
  • Spend time journaling
  • Get back into nature
  • Take a hot bath
  • Do a workout you enjoy
  • Do an at-home spa day
  • Better yet, invite a few friends over for a spa day
  • Bake or work on a hobby you love
  • Snuggle with a pet
  • Binge watch something
  • Plan the upcoming week
  • Hunker down in your comfy clothes and read
  • Do a digital-free afternoon
  • Try adult coloring
  • Go swimming or sit by the pool and relax
  • Turn on some favorite music and dance or sing along

There are many more activities you can do. Those are just to get your ideas flowing. Do the same thing every week or choose something different. It’s up to you. The point is to take some time for yourself, even if it’s just a few moments.

Self-Care Sunday Wrap-up

The point of self-care Sunday isn’t about what you do as much as it’s about taking the time to do something. The purpose is to spend some time doing something you enjoy, forgetting about the daily grind for a bit and resetting before you start a new week.

Having an effective self-care routine is crucial to your daily peace and happiness, but many people falsely believe that self-care is simply taking a hot bath with a glass of wine and some candles.

There are so many other ways to enjoy a self-care routine and this book walks you through them, providing you with many choices on how you can implement a self-care routine into your schedule. 

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Seven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem When Dating

Seven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem When Dating

Build Confidence, Date Great Men, Understand Men

Guest Post Written By Lana Otoya

Lana is a professional dating coach for successful women at Millennialships.com. She helps successful and confident women meet successful and confident men.

When you are dating, things can get tough. You go on date after date, only to discover that the men you like the most are never interested in you.

Even the most confident person in the whole world might start to question their attractiveness if this keeps happening. 

The key here is not to get discouraged. When you give up on dating, you lose your chance to find a loving and supporting relationship. 

Here are seven ways for how to improve your self-esteem when dating.

#7 – Know Where Confidence Comes From

Confidence is a key aspect of dating because it helps you attract men, and also feel better about the whole process.

The interesting thing about confidence is that you can get it from multiple sources. Most people get self-confidence from “track record” or “history”. This is when you look to your past experiences to help you determine if you are good or bad at something.

For example, if you always get A’s on all your math tests, you are going to be pretty confident that you are a skilled mathematician.

If you’ve had bad relationships in the past or never seem to get into a long-term relationship, your track record is not providing you with the confidence you need to attract a man. So how can you be confident if your track record is tainted?

The good news is that you can tap into your self-esteem. Self-esteem, although similar, is not the same as self-confidence. Self-confidence is often felt as a result of external validation, much like the math example. Where self-esteem is something that comes from within you. It’s something that you feel rather than something you see.

 Self Confidence vs. Self Esteem:

Here is a nice explanation of self-esteem from Psychology Today:

“Self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals such as income, status, or notoriety…On the contrary, they treat themselves with respect and look after their health, community, and environment.”

As you can see, healthy self-esteem comes from believing you are worthy, and respecting yourself despite any negative situations that life may present to you.

When dating, just remember that rejection and struggle happens to many people while they are looking for their long-term partner. You only need that one person to make everything worth it, so don’t tell yourself you don’t deserve love when you know it’s not true.

#6 – Have Realistic Expectations

Another way that you can help yourself feel confident during dating is to have realistic expectations. The online dating process is slow. You will message a lot of men who don’t message you back. You will go on dates with men who are losers. You will start to see a guy who seems really nice, only to have him ghost you after a few dates. I know this is a harsh reality but going in with these expectations helps you realize that it’s not you. This happens to everyone.

Even the most attractive, model-like women have trouble dating and finding a partner. This is because finding a partner only has so much to do with appearance and attraction, and much more to do with meshing two personalities together.

Sometimes it can take a while to find two personalities to really fit, but you only need to find one person and when you do, it’s really an amazing feeling!

#5 – How to Improve Self Esteem in Relationships: Move Slowly

When you are in a new relationship with someone who is really fun and awesome, you can be tempted to move things too quickly.

As a dating coach, I’ve seen many women get so excited about a new man who she tells her friends all about him, deletes all her dating apps and stops communicating with all men. Then, she realizes a few weeks later that he’s not interested in a long-term relationship.

There’s nothing wrong with getting excited and enjoying the honeymoon phase, but cutting off all other ties and letting all your friends know that you found “the one” can make the feeling of rejection much worse than it needs to be.

Always keep your options open until the two of you are on the same page.

#4 – Don’t Take Things Personally

Even if someone rejects you, it’s not really “you” that he is rejecting. It could be many different things.

There are seven billion people on this earth, and no two people have the exact same personality.

When dealing with so much variety in preferences, hobbies, values, etc., there are going to be people who clash. If you feel like things are going well with a man and then suddenly, he changes his mind, it could be any one of these little things that are not matching up. Maybe you live a little too far away from his house or maybe he’s not ready for a relationship.

Regardless of the reason, just know that if a man is not a good fit, you’re much better off without him.

#3 – Rejection and Shame Happen to Everyone

Researcher Brene Brown determined the feeling of rejection you experience when others do not accept you is a global feeling. This means that it happens to every human unless they have a serious mental disability. We are tribal animals whose evolution has made us want to fit in with the crowd. It is vital to our survival.

When you get rejected by someone, you have an intense feeling of shame. You purposefully analyze and critique yourself to see what might have gone wrong. This is a survival instinct because your brain is trying to help you fit in better next time.

The truth is though, you don’t need to fit in with everybody anymore. You do not rely on a certain caveman tribe in order to get your food and shelter. If someone rejects you, you can still live a perfectly happy life and not have to worry that you didn’t get along with just one person.

#2 – Focus on Self-Care

Dating can be a roller coaster of emotions. When you’re dating, you should be sure to have a structured and regular self-care routine. This allows you to remind yourself that you are the source of your own happiness, not anyone else.

Having an effective self-care routine is crucial to your daily peace and happiness, but many people falsely believe that self-care is simply taking a hot bath with a glass of wine and some candles.

There are so many other ways to enjoy a self-care routine and this book walks you through them, providing you with many choices on how you can implement a self-care routine into your schedule. 

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#1 – How to Improve Self Esteem in Relationships: Have Fun

The pressures of finding a partner and all the swiping and texting rules can really be a downer. It’s best to pull back and remind yourself that dating should be fun. Instead of thinking, “I hate being single”, “This date is going nowhere” or that you  would rather be in your pajamas, remember – it’s just drinks.

You’re not being forced to speak in front of one thousand people or run a marathon. You’re just sipping on some cocktails with a new person. Even the most horrifying dates can still be fun. They can be a learning experience or simply an excellent story to tell your friends!

How to Get Over a Crush | Get Over a Man You Aren’t Dating

How to Get Over a Crush | Get Over a Man You Aren’t Dating

Build Confidence

A crush is like a double-edged sword. It can make you feel all the highs of love, yet when it’s not reciprocated, it can be devastating. Knowing how to get over a crush can help you move forward into a mutually enjoyable relationship with a new man.

Sometimes, a crush is on someone who is forbidden, like a married man or a college professor. Other times, your crush is available to you but either doesn’t feel the same about you or is oblivious to your feelings.

Regardless of why you’re crushing or on whom, it’s no fun to feel something for someone and not have them feel the same towards you.

So how can you get over a crush?

What You’ll Find Here

What is a crush?
Is it a crush or love?
Acknowledge your feelings
View Him in a more realistic way
Allow yourself to grieve
Don’t allow the feelings to overwhelm you
Talk to someone
Establish a positive relationship with yourself
Splurge a little on yourself
Go no contact
Realize you aren’t alone
Get and use a journal
Don’t seek a new crush
Create an environment that excludes your crush
Practice gratitude
Accept friendship
Go on some dates
Seek professional help
The last word

Learn How to Get Over a Crush, But First, what is a Crush?

I think before we talk about how to get over a crush, we should get on the same page about what a crush is.

Crush: to experience an intense and usually passing infatuation,

So, of course, then I had to look up infatuation, so we’re on the same page there too.

Infatuation: a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something: strong and unreasoning attachment.

So, what I get from those Merriam-Webster definitions is this: a crush is intense and obsessively strong feelings for someone. These feelings can be reciprocated or unreciprocated, and crushes don’t go away when you’re fourteen. You can have a crush at any age.

Is it a Crush or Love?

The next question to consider before we move on to how to get over a crush is to determine whether you’re feeling love or you’re crushing on him.

What are the Feelings?

One of the easiest ways to distinguish between a crush and love is by how you feel. A crush is usually based on physical attraction. He’s hot, like George Clooney or Chris Hemsworth.

Love, on the other hand, is based on trust, understanding, and mutual attraction. Love grows with time while a crush happens the moment you see him.

Flaws? What Flaws?

When you’re crushing on a guy, you’re oblivious to his flaws. He’s absolutely perfect in your eyes. When you love someone, you see and accept their flaws. You love them regardless of whatever imperfections there may be.

When you have a crush on a guy, you place him on a pedestal – you idealize him. Since you don’t see his flaws, you imagine him as the perfect addition to your life. The problem with this is that you develop unrealistic expectations of what he can bring to your life.

Do You Have a Crush?

Answer each of these questions honestly:

  1. Do you know him?
  2. Was this feeling instant or gradual?
  3. Can you name five flaws he has right now?
  4. Do you have mention-itis? (i.e. do you talk about him all the time?)
  5. Do you imagine yourself in different scenarios with him?
  6. Do you become tongue-tied around him?
  7. Do you feel these things when you’re near him: excited, nervous, happy, and awkward?

If you don’t know him, it’s absolutely a crush. You can’t develop trust and mutual attraction with someone you don’t know. But, if you do know him, it might still be a crush. You need to answer more questions.

As you read above, a crush is also an instant feeling when you see someone, so if the feeling was instant, it’s a crush.

If you struggle to name five flaws he has, it’s a crush.

And for the last four questions, if you answer “Yes” to any of them, it’s a crush.

how to get over a crush

How to Get Over a Crush | Acknowledge Your Feelings

If you’re still reading, I assume you feel you have a crush on someone and now you want to know how to get over a crush.

The first thing to do is acknowledge how you feel. Don’t be ashamed of your feelings. You don’t have to shout it to the world, but at least acknowledge those feelings to yourself.

When you stuff feelings, whether good, like a crush, or bad, like shame or embarrassment, it’s not healthy. You deny yourself the process of working through them and letting them go.

A crush is a normal thing to experience, so stop feeling ashamed of yourself so you can find your way to ending the crush.

View Him in a More Realistic Way

We established above that when we crush on someone, we put them on a pedestal; we idealize them and fail to see their imperfections.

Stop and take a look at him. Even if he’s a celebrity and you don’t know much about him, you can still find flaws. Everyone has them.

Is he kind and respectful? If he is a celeb, is he generous with his time, energy, or money? Does he have a family or is he bed-hopping? You can find all this out with a few clicks of a mouse these days.

If he’s someone you know or someone in the periphery, you can still study him on social media or wherever you encounter him.

Again, nobody is perfect, but in your mind right now, he is, so look for his flaws and recognize that he’s human.

How to Get Over a Crush by Grieving

A crush that is not reciprocated comes with painful feelings which can include rejection and unrequited love. These feelings cause real pain, and you should allow yourself time to grieve the loss of this relationship, even if there never was a true relationship. In your mind, there was hope.

Spend some time looking back on times when you thought he might be returning your interest, any sparks you thought might have flown between you, or even just the dates you hoped he would ask you out on.

It’s okay to feel sad about what could have been, but…

how to get over a crush

Don’t Allow the Feelings to Overwhelm You

Feelings can be tricky. Some people stuff them down, which we already established is not healthy. Other people let their feelings overwhelm them and become unable to focus on anything else.

While I encourage you to acknowledge your feelings for this guy, I also can’t stress enough that you need to maintain control over your feelings.

And you do control them, whether you realize it or not.

Staying stuck in an infatuated state doesn’t allow you to heal and move forward to a healthy relationship with someone who will love you.

If you feel you’re stuck in some negative thoughts, there are a few strategies you can try.

Accept the Feelings and then Let Them Go

Imagine your feelings as if they’re a leaf floating down the stream. They slowly move toward you, but they don’t stay or even linger very long. They keep floating away, soon out of sight.

Feelings should be the same way. They sneak up on you, they linger for a while, then they float on by, allowing you to experience them and then let them go.

Set Them Aside Until You Can Properly Deal with Them

Sometimes, distressing feelings come at the most inopportune times, like when you’re about to give a presentation or your boss is waiting for you to finish something.

Mindfully set your feelings aside until later when you can explore them further. Sometimes it helps to keep a journal handy so you can write down your thoughts and dig into them more later.

DO Something

Often, a distraction is just what you need to end a negative thought process. Find something fun to do. Call a friend and go window shopping. Go to the gym and work out. This not only takes your mind off of things, but it helps burn negative hormones that are causing stress and anxiety.

Just be careful to do something that will take your mind away from its present state. Going to a movie is a great idea, but reading a book might not be. Working with weights where you need to concentrate would be great, but walking on a treadmill where you don’t need to think wouldn’t help.

Get Over a Crush by Talking to Someone

Sometimes, it helps to talk it out with a trusted friend. If this person is a true friend, she will help you gain perspective on the situation.

If you aren’t comfortable talking to someone about it, write in a journal and make that the someone you talk to you.

The important thing is to verbalize what you’re feeling so you can better sort it out. Sometimes hearing yourself say something brings forward negatives about your crush and helps you get over him.

Establish a Positive Relationship with Yourself

Each person is their own best friend, but many times, that’s the first relationship we let go of, or it’s a very negative relationship.

Building a positive relationship with yourself includes things like changing negative self-talk to positive, setting goals and going after them, and taking care of yourself with a regular self-care routine.

When you do these things, you grow your confidence and make yourself desirable for a great man who will love you as much as you love him.

You're a Survivor!

You might not feel like you can survive a breakup when it first happens, but if you look back in your life, you'll see that you've survived breakups before! This is a great article to help you, but there are others! Click the button below to check them out!

Read More About It

How to Get Over a Crush by Splurging a Little on Yourself

While you’re building this new positive relationship with yourself, splurge a little. Update your look with a new wardrobe staple or get a new hairstyle. It doesn’t need to be something overly dramatic.

Other ways to splurge on yourself include developing a new workout routine or even hiring a personal trainer, taking yourself out to a fancy dinner, or even buying yourself some new silky sheets for the bed.

These things are a great reminder to you that you deserve nice things, and you don’t need a man in your life to have them. It’s a great boost to your self-esteem and self-worth.

Go No Contact

The no contact rule isn’t just a good tool for a breakup, it’s a good tool for getting over a crush. Right now, you probably check his social media accounts at least once a day, if not more, to see what he’s up to.

Stop it.

No. Seriously – stop.

Unfriend, unfollow, and block (if he contacts you) him from your social accounts. The ability to soothe your loneliness or sadness by checking his accounts isn’t helping you get over him.

Aside from this, social accounts perpetuate the fantasized version of him that you’ve developed. We don’t post the dumb things we do unless we’re able to laugh at them, so what you see from everyone is a polished view of their lives.

Get Over a Crush by Realizing You Aren’t Alone

People go through this very same thing every day. I know it might feel like you’re alone in a crowd of happy people who have all found their one person, but that’s not true. Deep down inside, you know this.

Whether you experience a breakup with someone you were dating or you’re recognizing the unlikelihood of your crush becoming more in your life, it’s something people experience and survive every day.

You can also look back in your past. Have you crushed on someone before? Many young teenage girls do. A handsome teacher or coach is often the object of many crushes during high school. You survived that and you can survive this too. Promise!

Get and Use a Journal

Journaling is an excellent way to dump feelings and examine your thoughts. By allowing yourself to freely write whatever comes to mind, you sometimes bring up things you didn’t even realize were lurking.

It’s a very healthy way to get your feelings out.

There are only two rules. The first is that you don’t judge your thoughts, either before or after you’ve put them down. The second is that once it’s down on paper, you can’t erase it. No regrets for spilling your guts.

Nobody needs to see your journal, so don’t worry about what you write.

Don’t Seek out a New Crush

This isn’t the time to decide that Donnie Wahlberg is hot stuff. A new crush isn’t a good substitute for an old one.

This is a great time to allow yourself to enjoy being single. Much of the work you can do to raise your confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth is best done while you’re single.

Your goal during this process of learning how to get over a crush is to prepare yourself for a real relationship with a great guy.

Adding a new crush to the mix pushes you further away from that goal, not closer to it.

 

THIS is where the riding solo book block goes

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

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Get over a Crush by Creating a New Environment without Your Crush

If your crush is a celeb, it’s time to remove all posters, stickers, and other memorabilia that serves as a constant reminder. Even if your crush isn’t a celebrity, you may have things around your home that serve as a reminder.

It’s time to remove all that stuff.

If going to certain restaurants or other places reminds you of your crush, stay away from those places for a while, at least until you’re fully healed.

Also, it’s time for a new narrative about the relationship. You’ve fantasized about this guy long enough. Your narrative about him has included him as part of your life, but that’s not going to happen, at least not now, and it’s time for a new narrative.

Practice Gratitude

It’s not uncommon to feel as if the world is closing in on you when you experience the end of a relationship, and that’s what this is, whether he knew you were in a relationship or not.

A great way to mitigate those feelings is to focus on what you have in your life to be grateful for, instead of what’s missing.

If you’ve already got a journal going, you can use a page here and there for gratitude. This is an excellent mental health exercise regardless of what’s going on in your life because it forces you to focus on the positives.

Get Over a Crush by Accepting Friendship

If you know your crush, friendship can be a good thing. It might not be a good thing right now, but once you’re feeling better, it might work for you both.

There is a warning signal, though. Don’t think of this friendship as a good alternative to the relationship you wish you could have. This mindset leaves you secretly hoping he’ll change his mind or that you’ll grow closer to one another over time.

While that’s a possibility, if it’s your reason for friendship, it’s the wrong reason.

If you can be friends with him, give that friendship its own merits. Value it for what it is, not what you wanted it to be. The friendship can’t be a consolation prize. It should be the win.

When You’re Ready, Go on Some Dates

Many people date in the wrong way. Dating is an exploration time. You shouldn’t go out on a first date with a guy and start planning your wedding.

Men don’t date like that.

Men date first to have fun. You’re mysterious to him and he’s intrigued. He wants to learn more about you, but not all at once, so share tidbits about your life over time. Don’t give him the entire story in one sitting. That kills the mystery right off.

Secondly, it’s okay to date more than one person at a time.

Think of dating like a funnel. You put a lot of men in at the top, or at first. As you date them, some of them are weeded out for an assortment of reasons. Maybe they find someone else, or there just isn’t any chemistry between you.

Keep dating, weeding out men until you get down to the one who’s lasted through. He’s the one you enjoy being with the most and probably the one you have the most in common with.

This dating and weeding-out process may take months and that’s how it should be. Take your time. Experience different types of men to see what you like and don’t like. Date types of men you’ve always sworn off before.

Keep the mystery alive by sharing small bits about yourself each time you get together. Do fun things on your dates like going hiking or exploring a nearby town.

These types of dates are better than dinner because the need to talk non-stop is not there for either of you. This means less sharing and more growth.

How to Get Over a Crush if None of This Helps

If you still feel like you can’t get over him, seek professional help. A professional can see things you won’t and has the right language and tools to help you overcome your feelings.

There is no shame in seeking professional help. It’s a great way to get unstuck and feel better.

The Last Word

There’s nothing wrong with having a crush and most people experience this at least once in their lives.

Most of the time, the feelings resolve themselves quickly and you don’t get stuck in them, but sometimes, you just can’t get that person out of your head.

Following these tips can help you redirect your thoughts and feelings into healthier activities and prepare you to find the great man you deserve.

Are You Selling Yourself Short in Your Dating Life?

Are You Selling Yourself Short in Your Dating Life?

Build Confidence

Selling Yourself Short in Life is the Result of a Toxic Past

Have you ever had a friend tell you that you are selling yourself short when it comes to men and dating?

I have said this to women from time to time and it hasn’t gone over well at all, unfortunately.

It’s no wonder relationships fail at the high rate they do – people sell themselves short.

Why?

It’s all about self-worth. If you don’t think highly of yourself, there is a greater chance you will pick a mate who doesn’t have much self-worth either. Likes attract likes.

The negativity of your inner game reminds you of how average you look, how incapable you are in life and how awful your attitude is.

Is this the right way to go into a relationship?

No. Friggin. Way.

Build Yourself and He Will Come.

This is the tagline of my website and my business for a reason.

Having a man in your life is not the answer. A positive you is! What your mind tells you all day is not reality, it’s the false reality created by a hurtful past.

It’s not your fault. There was no class called “Life Coaching 101” in high school or college. So no wonder women choose the stiffs who use them and move on. They expect to get dumped.

It really is pathetic and sad but it’s not your fault.

What to do if you are selling yourself short

Be aware of all the words you say to yourself throughout the day. Be especially aware around the mirror at home. Lose “I can’t, I won’t, I look like crap, why did I” type of negativity and replace it with the opposite:

  • I look great today
  • I am deserving of love!
  • Let’s work out
  • What a beautiful day
  • I am thankful today for…

It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe what you are saying at first! Just start replacing the ugly with the positive and soon the magic will happen – you will believe what you say to be true!

Hocus pocus? I’m afraid not my friend. You have full control over your inputs so learn to feed yourself positive thoughts and your result will be amazing confidence. Feed it negativity and out pours depression, stress, lack of confidence and yes – unsuccessful relationships.

Today is the day to stop selling yourself short! If you’re doing this today and would like to delve deeper into how to make positive changes to live a happier life, please check out these two freebies below and my best selling confidence course, “Comfortable in Your own Shoes.”

These two giveaways below have helped thousands of women begin their journey to building confidence:

  1. Confidence Info-graphic
  2. Also, I LOVE this Dove video – please view it at least twice – it is at the core of my books and coaching: Watch it here

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

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Fun Ways to Practice Self Care for Women

Fun Ways to Practice Self Care for Women

Build Confidence, Self care

Self care for women is an easy thing to encourage, but many women falsely believe that self care is selfish.

When you think of self care, what comes to mind is probably not representative of what self care truly means. You might think it means taking some time out to pamper or indulge yourself.

Self care for women is more about understanding your worth and value as a human being and treating yourself accordingly.

Women tend to be better at nurturing others than they are at nurturing themselves. You’ll fill two water bottles each for your family and forget to grab yours on your way to the ballpark.

You’ll make sure your husband or boyfriend has a healthy lunch packed while zipping out the door with a promise to make your own healthy lunch next time.

I know I’m right. I’ve got three sisters and a mother!

What if I could find ways for you to enjoy self care? Read some of the ideas below to see if any of these pique your interest.

Self Care for Women | Creating Your Own Chick Retreat

Guys have man caves, but women don’t usually take the time to designate a space for peace and tranquility.

One fun thing you can do is create your own chick retreat. It doesn’t need to be an entire room of your house. It could just be a corner of a room, a special chair or an hour where you fill the bathtub with hot water and lock the door!

I know a woman who had a large walk-in closet she stole away to use as her chick retreat. Her husband was dying of cancer and she needed a place to use as a quiet place for rest, relaxation and reflection.

Your retreat can be whatever you want, as long as it is a place you can use to recharge your batteries.

self care for women

Read

Reading can be a very entertaining way to relax and recharge, especially if you enjoy books of a humorous or light-hearted nature.

Reading can also be a way to facilitate personal growth or inspire you to try new things. You can experience personal, spiritual, financial and intellectual growth by reading.

Use your reading time to forget about the stressors around you, relax and let go of the pressures of the day. Allow yourself to escape into another world, if only for 30 minutes a day, and grow as a woman.

Take Your Dream Car for a Test Drive

If you could own any car, what would it be? Why not take it for a test drive? There’s no rule that states you must buy a car you test drive! Even if this gives you just fifteen minutes of fun, it’s a temporary escape into your dream.

If you believe in the Law of Attraction, this could even be a step toward owning that dream car. You never know!

Meanwhile, drive it like a boss! Smell the leather. Feel the way the car handles. Lose yourself in the experience. Relax and enjoy the ride! More importantly, remind yourself that you deserve nice things in your life.

Even if you can never afford to buy this car, you can save up to buy something nice for yourself.

Find or Pursue Your Passion

This is good for you in so many ways, it could be its own blog post, but instead, I’ll try to summarize here.

Following your passion helps you focus your time and energy on something you love and it’s a great escape for you when your guy is out with his friends or off licking his wounds after a missed promotion or lost competition.

When you are passionate about something, you begin to build your story, which is interesting to any man worth having. It gives you something to share and talk about and it helps you build your confidence in new areas.

Self Care for Women | Journaling

Journaling and using a planner are very popular activities right now. When I was young, my sisters all had those padded diaries with the cheap little locks. They wrote their deepest, darkest secrets in those journals with those fun four-color pens everyone had.

Journaling today is a creative endeavor where some people write while others draw or cut out pictures from magazines, pieces of mail and recycled items.

It’s a great form of expression that you can either keep to yourself or share with your guy in the form of a couple’s journal.

Some people take a page of a journal, write whatever is troubling them, and then cover those thoughts with paint, gesso or other paper and embellishments.

self care for women

Enjoy Nature

I love nature and I am fortunate to be able to enjoy it by simply looking out my back door. You can enjoy nature by taking a walk or going on a hike. If you enjoy the water, go kayaking, skiing or just lay by the beach.

The outdoors can even be your chick retreat. Just walking around, enjoying the wonderful colors and smells can help you relax and recharge.

This can be a great thing to do first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. It is a nice, calming activity, providing a sense of peace and joy all at the same time.

Celebrate Victories

I am a big fan of conducting a weekly review in which I take note of my weekly accomplishments and challenges.

Reminding yourself of your accomplishments helps you shift your focus from things that didn’t get done or hiccups in your week to the things you did well.

This is a great way to boost your confidence and sense of self-worth. You have abilities you don’t even realize and taking the time to remind yourself of those abilities helps you grow.

Self Care for Women | Practice Gratitude

It is so easy to become bogged down with the heavier side of life and our natural inclination is to focus on the mistakes we make or the things we wish we’d done differently. Some form of self care for women should include the practice of gratitude.

When you shift that focus onto things in your day or week that you can be grateful for, you change your outlook. It’s a great reminder that there are many things going right in your world and not just a world of wrong banging on your door.

Stretch Your Comfort Zone

For most people, staying within your comfort zone feels safe. The problem with safe is that there’s no growth in safe.

When you strive to stretch your comfort zone, you commit to growing as a person. It’s important to take a few risks in order to build your confidence and expand your horizons.

It is only when you push yourself in this way that you find your true self.

Self Care for Women Includes Taking Care of Yourself

Instead of staying up until midnight to finish the laundry, do the dishes and clean up after the kids, try going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting some good rest.

If you need to stay up that late to get things done, you’re either not prioritizing your tasks, or you have too much on your plate.

Not only should you get plenty of rest, but you should eat healthy meals. While it might seem easy to hit the drive-thru on the way home from a late day at the office, it’s much better for you to go home and heat up some leftovers or make yourself a salad.

I know one young woman who utilizes her days off to do her grocery shopping and complete food prep for the work week ahead. With proper planning, you can accomplish the same and lower the stress in your life!

Self Care Enables You to Properly Care for Your Loved Ones

If you are running on empty 90% of the time, you’re no good for the people you’re trying to nurture. Being exhausted and cranky just leaves them wishing you’d retreat off to nature or go read a great book. What they want to do most is enjoy their time with you.

Facilitate that by practicing good self care. Remember that you can’t be there 100% for them if you’re not there 100% for yourself first. It isn’t selfish, it’s providing your loved ones with the best version of you, and it’s providing you with personal and positive feedback that you are worthy of being cared for!

Having an effective self-care routine is crucial to your daily peace and happiness, but many people falsely believe that self-care is simply taking a hot bath with a glass of wine and some candles.

There are so many other ways to enjoy a self-care routine and this book walks you through them, providing you with many choices on how you can implement a self-care routine into your schedule. 

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Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Build Confidence, Date Great Men, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Women often face relationship challenges that are both common and unique. One of these challenges is communication. Many women struggle with expressing needs, desires, and concerns effectively to their partners, which leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of emotional connection. 

Another common relationship challenge is maintaining a healthy balance between your own needs and the needs of your partner. Women often find themselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, such as being a partner, a mother, a professional, and a caregiver, resulting in neglecting your own self-care and personal fulfillment. Prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries helps you avoid burnout and maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

Trust issues can also be a significant challenge in relationships. Past experiences of betrayal or heartbreak make it difficult to fully trust your partner, which then leads to insecurity, jealousy, and a constant need for reassurance. Building trust takes time and effort from both partners, and it is important to work on healing past wounds and developing trust in order to have a fulfilling and secure relationship.

Another challenge is navigating power dynamics within relationships. Society often places certain expectations on women, such as being submissive or accommodating which can lead to imbalanced power dynamics where women may feel their needs and desires are not valued or respected. It is important to assert your boundaries, communicate your needs, and strive for equality within your relationships.

Lastly, a common challenge is maintaining your own identity and independence. Women may sometimes feel pressured to prioritize your partner’s needs and sacrifice your own dreams and aspirations. It is important to remember that you are an individual with your own goals and passions. Balancing personal growth and maintaining a sense of self within a relationship is essential for long-term happiness and fulfillment.

free relationship advice

Free Relationship Advice: Unleash the Power of Communication in Your Relationships

There’s no tool more powerful in a relationship than effective communication. Yes, you just read a bit on this, but let’s take a moment to really understand why communication holds such significance.

Imagine this: Your partner comes home late from work, and you’re feeling neglected. Instead of expressing your feelings, you keep quiet, fueling an atmosphere of tension. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably time to reassess your communication strategy.

How do you unleash the power of communication in your relationship?

  1. Express – Don’t bottle up your feelings. Communicate openly with your partner about what’s bothering you. The key here is to use “I” statements instead of the blaming “you”. For instance: “I feel ignored when you come late regularly” instead of “You never care about my feelings”.
  2. Listen – A big part of communication is not just talking, but truly listening. Pay attention to what your partner is saying. React and respond to his thoughts and feelings to indicate that you value his emotions and opinions.
  3. Clarify – If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification. Never assume or interpret your partner’s feelings on your own. Misinterpretations can often lead to unnecessary conflicts.
  4. Be Constructive – It’s essential to communicate constructively. Emphasize on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Frame your criticisms or suggestions in a helpful way.

These may sound too simple, but in the heat of the moment, even the simplest principles are forgotten. Practice these until they become a part of your regular communication habit. Effective communication is a skill that can be improved with patience and persistence.

Like any skill, it’s going to take time to improve your communication, so, don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get everything right immediately.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together… is communication.” – Bernard Kelvin Clive

Mastering the Art of Active Listening in Your Relationship

One of the most important and often overlooked skills for any relationship is active listening. Most think they’re good listeners, but are you really hearing what your partner is saying? Do you understand his feelings, thoughts, fears, and dreams as he expresses them? Active listening goes beyond merely hearing the words. It involves showing empathy and understanding, acknowledging his perspective, and reacting appropriately.

Active listening is a skill that can transform your relationship. It’s all about giving undivided attention to your partner, showing understanding, and demonstrating sincere interest and concern. It’s not merely about the words he’s saying, but also the non-verbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

How can you be an active listener?

  1. Listen with empathy: Tune into your partner’s feelings and confirm your understanding.
  2. Use affirming body language: Sit facing your partner, maintain eye contact, and use nonverbal cues such as nodding to show you’re engaged.
  3. Avoid interrupting: Allow your partner to fully express his thoughts and feelings before you respond.
  4. Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to share more about his experience by asking questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.
  5. Paraphrase and reflect: Restate what he said in your own words to confirm that you understood him.
  6. Validate feelings: Even if you disagree with your partner, recognize his feelings as valid and important.

Remember: The goal of active listening isn’t to prepare your responses while your partner is talking, but to truly understand and empathize with their perspective.

Active listening creates a deep connection with your partner. It strengthens your bond, improves trust, and fosters a caring and understanding relationship. It might take a little practice to break old habits and improve your active listening skills, but the payoff in your relationship is well worth the effort!

Free Relationship Advice: Develop the Art of Effective Conflict Resolution

No matter who you are or how perfect your relationship seems, disagreements are inevitable. However, it’s how you handle these conflicts that truly matters.

Ever had an argument spiral out of control until you can’t remember what you’re fighting about? By embracing effective methods of conflict resolution, you can transform these situations into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

1. Listen First, Respond Later: Understanding the other person’s perspective before dropping your thoughts, and listening to his point of view helps him know his opinions are valued and builds a strong foundation for a fair resolution.

Remember: Listening doesn’t mean you agree, but shows respect for one other’s feelings and perspectives.

2. Use ‘I’ Statements Instead of ‘You’ Statements: When expressing your feelings, start sentences with “I” instead of “You”, thus taking the blame off your partner and minimizing defensive reactions.

For instance, replace “You never help with the chores” with “I feel overwhelmed when I manage the chores alone”.

3. Practice Active-Responsiveness: Acknowledging what your partner says is also important. Simple actions like nodding, using assurances like “I understand” and clarifying when necessary helps him feel understood and appreciated.

4. Keep It to the Point: During disagreements, it’s easy to sink to a blame game or bring up past issues. Focus on and discuss only the issue at hand until a resolution is found.

5. Seek to Find a Win-Win Resolution: Aim for resolutions that satisfy both partners, even if this means compromising a little. Resolutions should feel fair and mutually beneficial.

Understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution techniques can transform your relationship dynamics for the better. You’ll notice improved communication, mutual respect and, ultimately, a healthier relationship.

Remember: Conflict is inevitable but fighting isn’t. How you handle the disagreement is what matters.

free relationship advice

Finding Balance: Juggling Career and Relationships

We live in a world where there’s always something to do, something more to achieve. Finding the perfect balance between career and relationships might feel like a Herculean task. Trust me, it’s not about dividing your hours in a mathematical sequence but more about finding equilibrium and mutual understanding. How can you navigate this complex journey?

First,  you don’t have to do everything at once; put energy into what matters most. List tasks and goals and order them according by importance, focusing on the crucial ones. A well-prioritized life equals a balanced life.

  • Communicate: Open and honest communication solves many problems. Speak with your partner about your aspirations and pressures. Help him understand your ambitions and ask him to work with you in balancing professional and personal commitments.
  • Set boundaries: Clear boundaries separate your work life from your personal life. Leave work at work. Use your off-work time to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones.
  • Self-Care: Don’t forget about taking care of your own needs. Practice mental, physical, and emotional self-care. Exercising, maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness can do wonders for your well-being and positively impact your relationships and career.

Here’s an example:

Start the day with a mindful coffee intake, updating your partner about your day and setting clear workspace delineation if you’re working from home. Take a mid-afternoon workout break and cap the day off by leaving your laptop at work and taking a walk with your loved one.

Balancing a career and relationship can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Never be too hard on yourself as everyone’s balance is different. Try to live in the present moment, appreciate small victories, and enjoy the process. Now, go ahead and juggle away!

Free Relationship Advice: Create Healthy Boundaries for a Happier Relationship

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in a relationship is critical for mutual respect and emotional stability. When boundaries are defined, you and your partner understand each other’s needs, desires, and limitations. It prevents unnecessary stress, arguments, and resentment in the long run. Here’s how:

  1. Explicit Communication: Openly discuss what is comfortable and tolerable for both of you. Don’t leave it to assumptions or vague expressions.
  2. Say a Firm ‘Yes’ or ‘No’: Be able to express yes or no without hesitation or guilt. No one has the right to question or overrule your decisions. Recognizing your own feelings is vital to setting boundaries.
  3. Understanding Emotional Boundaries: Respect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It’s crucial to understand that one’s emotional space shouldn’t be violated.

Remember, boundaries are adjustable. You’re both individuals with evolving needs and wishes. Keep the conversation open and respectful. Here are some examples of healthy emotional boundaries:

Boundaries Explanation
Respecting Personal Space Recognize and respect each other’s need for solitude or time away.
Time Management Avoid the tendency to be overly dominating or submissive with each other’s time.
Limitations on Personal history disclosure Respect each other’s decision to share or withhold personal history or experiences.

Remember, ‘Your rights end where my nose begins’. This saying underlines the importance of respecting each other’s boundaries for a harmonious relationship.

“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” – Christine Morgan

By creating these boundaries, you’re showing your partner the respect he deserves and setting an expectation for how you wish to be treated. It promotes an atmosphere of mutual respect, understanding, and love, creating a healthier and happier relationship.

Understanding the Importance of Self-Love in a Relationship

Self-love is valuing your own happiness and well-being, understanding your worth and not compromising it for anything or anyone. Why is it important in a relationship?

Loving yourself sets a standard for how you allow others to treat you. You set boundaries, you assert your needs, and you don’t settle for less. Self-love isn’t about being self-centered. It’s about maintaining your individuality even in a relationship while continuing to flourish and grow as an individual, and that individual growth contributes to the growth of your relationship.

A common misconception is that self-love might lead to a ‘me-first’ attitude and create conflicts in a relationship. But here’s the fascinating part: when you love yourself, you’re better able to love others. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re emotionally empty or not fulfilled from within, it’s difficult to contribute positively to the relationship.

“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” – Jane Travis

So, how do you cultivate self-love?

  1. Understand your worth: Know you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness. You don’t have to settle for anything less.
  2. Accept your flaws: None of us is perfect. Embrace your imperfections. They make you unique.
  3. Care for your physical health: Exercising, eating healthy, and maintaining good hygiene aren’t just about looking good. They showcase a respect for your own body.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. Learn from them instead of beating yourself up.
  5. Nurture your inner growth: Invest in activities that help you grow – learn a new skill, walk in nature, meditate, or join a hobby class.

Remember, it’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority—it’s necessary. In the end, a healthy relationship is composed of two healthy individuals.

The Role of Trust and Honesty in a Successful Partnership

Trust and honesty form the backbone of any successful relationship. Without them, your partnership can feel insecure, unstable, and strained. But cultivating these essential elements isn’t always as straightforward as it might seem.

Transparency breeds trust. When each partner is open, honest and genuine with their feelings and intentions, it forms a secure foundation. You aren’t left guessing whether your partner’s actions match their words – because their openness makes it apparent.

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” – Wm. Paul Young

Practicing honesty also calls for courage. It means dealing squarely with tough topics instead of sidestepping them. It’s about voicing concerns, confessing mistakes, and discussing sensitive topics – no small feat, but well worth the effort.

Building Trust and Honesty in Your Relationship

So, how do we create an environment of trust and honesty? Glad you asked! Here are some key steps:

  1. Communicate openly and often: Share your feelings, fears, ambitions, and uncertainties. This isn’t a one-off conversation, but a continuous process that requires patience and practice.
  2. Show vulnerability: Let your guard down and allow your partner to see the ‘real’ you. This can be remarkably bonding, fostering both empathy and intimacy.
  3. Set clear expectations: Outline your relationship goals and values early on. Make sure you both understand, agree, and are willing to work towards the same objectives.
  4. Follow through: Consistent actions that reflect your words endorse your integrity and authenticity, improving his confidence in you.

Rebuilding Trust and Honesty

But what if trust has been eroded? Is it possible to rebuild it? Yes! Broken trust doesn’t mean a broken relationship, but it certainly means investing time and energy in repair.

  • Talk it out: Whenever trust is broken, direct conversation is crucial. Understand what went wrong and how it made each partner feel.
  • Apologize genuinely: An apology is the first step towards mending mistrust. Ensure it’s sincere and reflects your understanding of the mistake.
  • Take responsibility: Admitting your mistake and committing to avoid repeating it, displays your willingness to change for the betterment of the relationship.
  • Give it time: Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort. It demands constant reassurances and concrete actions that reflect change.

Trust and honesty are not just essential, they’re fundamental to a healthy, loving relationship. Cultivating and maintaining them, essentially, guarantees a strong, fulfilling partnership.

free relationship advice

Exploring the Power Dynamics in Relationships: Equality vs. Traditional Roles

Power dynamics play a pivotal role in relationships. Often, one partner takes the lead in certain aspects, while the other takes a backseat. It’s perfectly normal, and when balanced, leads to a harmonious relationship.

The trick is finding balance, and that’s where the idea of traditional roles and equality comes in. In the traditional setup, one partner is the decision maker, while the other is more subservient. However, the world is rapidly changing and many relationships now follow a paradigm of equality, where both partners share power and make decisions together.

The dynamic you choose depends on your personal preferences, upbringing, and beliefs. Regardless of the power dynamic you prefer, the key is to maintain respect. Each partner’s views, feelings, and needs have to be considered equally.

For those who lean toward an equal power dynamic, here are some tips:

  • Keep open lines of communication in place to express your expectations and needs.
  • Ensure both partners equally contribute in making decisions to prevent one person from feeling overpowered or dismissed.
  • Respect your partner’s viewpoint even if it’s not in line with yours.
  • Share responsibilities. Whether it’s finances, household chores, or parenting, make it a team effort.

On the other hand, if you relate to traditional roles, it doesn’t mean there’s a power imbalance. To ensure the ‘leading’ partner doesn’t breach the respect threshold, try these ideas:

  1. Ensure the leadership role doesn’t translate into authoritative behavior.
  2. Consider both people’s opinions when making decisions.
  3. Value the supportive parther’s role without undermining it.
  4. Encourage and appreciate one another’s contributions.

Remember, a relationship is a partnership where you support each other, learn and grow together. Whether you prefer traditional roles or equality, the respect and understanding between the two of you should be the building blocks of your relationship.

Free Relationship Advice: Adapt to Transitions in Your Relationship

Change is the one constant in life that we can always expect. But what about when change infiltrates your relationship? Transitions are inevitable, from changes in jobs, moving to a new city, or even shifts in personal growth. Navigating these altering waves not only tests the integrity of your relationship but provides a unique opportunity to deepen your bond and impress new strengths into your partnership.

But here’s the catch – change can be hard. It can challenge long-established dynamics and routines. It forces us into unfamiliar territories and sometimes, that can be downright uncomfortable. So, how do you ride this wave together rather than allowing it to drive a wedge between you?

Hint: It’s all about acceptance, adaptation, and mutual support.

First, embracing change starts with acceptance. In the face of a transition, it’s easy to resist or deny it. But truthfully, this only makes the process harder. Acceptance isn’t about surrendering or giving up, rather it’s about acknowledging the reality, understanding that it’s okay to feel unsure, and embarking on this journey with an open mind.

Adapting with Change

Then comes adaptation. Life doesn’t come with a manual, so there’s no perfect recipe for navigating change. However, flexibility in attitude, mindset, and actions can make the process more manageable. It involves stepping out of your comfort zone, trying out new routines, and making adjustments as necessary. Remember, adaptation is a journey not a destination. Don’t rush the process, give each other ample space and time to adjust.

  • Mutual support is your lifeline: It’s these times when you truly need each other. Your relationship can be your support network, your safe haven from the storm of change. Encourage each other, have patience, and check in frequently with each other’s emotions and thoughts.
  • Proactive communication is key: Dialogue can significantly ease the adaptation process. Ensure to keep lines of communication open. Express your concerns, hopes and expectations regarding the change.
  • Consider seeking professional help: If change seems overwhelming, there’s no harm in seeking external guidance from a relationship counselor or coach. They can provide strategies to cope with change and reinforce your relationship’s resilience.

A relationship that can embrace change and come out even stronger is a testament to the bond you share. Transitions, after all, are another chapter in your shared story, a chance to grow together and deepen your understanding of each other. So, navigate these changing tides together, and remember – the only way to get through change is to go through it, hand in hand.

The Role of Independence in a Healthy Relationship

Independence, with a focus on personal space and freedom, plays a dynamic role in any healthy relationship.

Understanding Independence in a Relationship

What does it mean to be independent in a relationship? Fundamentally, it refers to the idea that you and your partner are not dependent or overly reliant on each other to feel complete or fulfilled. Instead, you see yourselves as two individuals with your own distinct identities, interests, ambitions, and abilities, while at the same time, maintaining a commitment to share your lives together.

Maintaining independence doesn’t diminish the love in the relationship; instead, it enriches it by fostering mutual respect and appreciation. Each person can stand alone but chooses to stand together – that’s the beauty of independence in a strong bond.

Remember, the strength of a relationship doesn’t come from the ‘need’ of each other; it comes from the ‘want’ for each other.

Why Does Independence Matter in a Relationship?

Independence in a relationship matters for several reasons:

  1. It facilitates personal growth: Independence allows both parties in a relationship to continue developing their identity and enrich their individual lives.
  2. It encourages healthy dependency: Independence fosters a balanced level of dependency where both are supportive without being excessively reliant on each other.
  3. It reduces pressure and strain: By being independent, couples can effectively manage their expectations, significantly reducing unnecessary pressure, conflict, and disappointment.
  4. It cultivates respect and understanding: Recognizing and respecting each other’s independence fosters deeper understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities each person brings into the relationship.
  5. It promotes longevity: Relationships often thrive when both partners maintain a sense of self, leading to a more rewarding, genuine, and long-lasting partnership.

How to Foster Independence in Your Relationship

Here’s how to foster independence in your relationship:

  • Have personal goals and pursue them: Don’t lose sight of your personal aspirations just because you are in a relationship.
  • Enjoy personal time: Spend some time doing things you love alone or with other friends. This helps maintain your identity outside of your relationship.
  • Encourage and support your partner’s interests: It’s important to show interest and encourage your partner to pursue their passions and hobbies.
  • Practice effective communication: Talk about your need for independence in a gentle and understanding way with your partner.

The role of independence in a healthy relationship is quintessential. It doesn’t signify a lack of love, but rather affirms it. It’s about co-existence, not co-dependence. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch your relationship thrive.

Free Relationship Advice for Women: Wrapping Up

This journey through world of relationships has led to many revelations from learning to communicate effectively, mastering active listening, navigating conflicts maturely, to understanding the importance of self-love, trust, and honesty. We dug into what makes a relationship successful.

As part of my free relationship advice, let’s pause and remember the key takeaways presented here:

  • Keep communication open and honest: Be open-minded, and truthfully express your feelings and concerns to your partner.
  • Active Listening is key: Consider and give real attention to his words, demonstrating interest and empathy.
  • Facing Conflicts with Maturity: Realize that disagreements are natural and the approach of resolving them amicably strengthens the bond.
  • Balance work and love life: Juggling career and relationships is not easy, yet essential. Prioritize your time and effort in order to maintain a balance.
  • Set healthy boundaries: Develop boundaries in your relationship that protect and honor your individuality.
  • Embrace self-love: Understand the value of loving yourself first. It will empower you, bringing positive vibes into the relationship.
  • Trust and Honesty: These are fundamental to the backbone of a successful partnership. Foster transparency and cultivate trust in your relationship.
  • Equality matters: Advocate for equality in your relationship to ensure mutual respect, shared responsibilities, and power dynamics and build a healthier and happier partnership.
  • Embrace change and adapt: Changes are inevitable, and adapting to them will prepare your relationship for long term stability.
  • Honor Independence: Encourage individual interests and activities. A healthy dose of independence enhances mutual growth and respect.

A strong and meaningful relationship involves two individuals who understand, respect, and love each other’s uniquenesses. Be ready to put hard work, dedication, and a lot of love into your relationships. Through this, you will pave the path for a robust romantic relationship and build strong bonds in every facet of your life.

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Enjoy Being Single and Prepare Yourself for Love

Enjoy Being Single and Prepare Yourself for Love

Build Confidence, Date Great Men, Find Happily Ever After

Society tells us that we must be in a relationship to be happy, but today I want to help you enjoy being single so you can prepare yourself for love.

One of the key benefits of being single is the opportunity for self-discovery. Singlehood allows you to explore interests, hobbies, and passions without compromising or adjusting to his preferences. You gain a deeper understanding of yourself, foster personal growth and self-confidence.

Being single also allows you to focus on your career and personal development. Without the responsibilities and time commitments that come with a relationship, you can invest more time in professional growth, pursue higher education, or start your own business. This can lead to greater financial independence and career satisfaction.

Singlehood can also lead to stronger social connections. Without a partner to rely on for companionship, you can invest more time in nurturing friendships and family relationships, therefore leading to a more diverse social network and stronger support system.

Additionally, you have freedom to make decisions solely based on your needs and wants. Whether it’s deciding where to live, what to eat, or how to spend free time, you have the liberty to make choices without having to consider a partner’s desires.

Lastly, being single can lead to better physical health. Studies have shown that single people, particularly women, are more likely to maintain a healthy weight and engage in regular physical activity. This is possibly due to having more time to focus on personal health and wellness.

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Reconceptualizing Singlehood: Shattering Stereotypes

Breaking free from the stigmatization of being single is a game-changer. Society often pushes a one-dimensional picture of happiness that includes a romantic partner. However, that’s not the only way to be happy, especially for single women.

Being single offers a wealth of experiences. You can devote time, energy, and resources to personal growth, self-love, and pursuing passions without accommodating or compromising for his preferences or demands. It’s an enlightening perspective that can turn the tables on the stereotypes surrounding ‘singlehood.’

Embrace singlehood with open arms and use this opportunity to pursue what truly moves you, ignites your soul, and leaves you feeling fulfilled. The newfound freedom and self-determination of being single is incredibly empowering. Go on new adventures, broaden your horizons, taste different flavors of life, and amass experiences you may not have had the opportunity to seek within a relationship.

Being single isn’t a shortcoming, but a time that allows you to explore your true potential. Some say they’re ‘alone’, but in reality, it affords you the chance to develop a strong sense of individuality and self-reliance. You’re not ‘alone’; you’re being genuinely ‘you’, and this self-appreciation and understanding can lead to more fulfilling relationships in the future.

Maintain a vibrant social network while you’re single by surrounding yourself with friends, family, and like-minded individuals who support and inspire you. Cultivate healthy relationships that fuel your growth rather than being tethered to the idea of ‘romantic involvement.’ With a balanced and vibrant social life, you’ll never feel alone or deprived of companionship.

Don’t forget that being single is not a curse. It shouldn’t be stressful, but a time to understand your inner self and what makes you happy. Embrace this time to focus on personal development, discovery, and making the most of your independence.

Enjoy Being Single by Redefining Yourself

Being single offers a unique opportunity to focus entirely on yourself. Let’s be clear: being in a relationship does not equate to personal fulfilment nor does it validate your self-worth. This is your chance to turn the spotlight back on you. It’s your moment to shine.

The Joy of Self-Discovery

One of the most exciting aspects of singlehood is the opportunity to know yourself better. Explore your interests and passions without compromise. If you’ve always wanted to take up painting, go for it. If you’ve been eager to learn a new language or go hiking each weekend, now is the time.

Like Dolly Parton once said, “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

Personal Growth

There’s no denying that being single provides the perfect environment for personal growth. Invest time in reading, learning, or pursuing a course; not to impress someone else, but to enhance your own knowledge and skills. Seeing your own growth and progress can be incredibly empowering.

Enjoying Your Own Company

Let’s dispel a misconception: enjoying your own company doesn’t equate to loneliness. It’s about being comfortable with yourself, appreciating your own companionship, and discovering that indeed, you can be your own best friend.

Take yourself out on dates, visit museums, watch movies, or simply enjoy tranquil moments at home, basking in the quiet serenity that only solitude can offer.

As the great artist and thinker Jean-Paul Sartre put it, “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.”

Embrace your solo journey, valuing the liberty it provides. Understand, cherish, and nurture your relationship with yourself. After all, only when you truly love and understand yourself can you fully appreciate and be open to love from others.

Enhancing Personal Growth: Opportunities in Singlehood

It’s essential to recognize your individuality when you are single. Take this time to immerse yourself in activities, communities, and hobbies where you can comfortably express yourself. Do you have a love for painting but struggled to find the time while in a relationship? Maybe you’ve always wanted to take up salsa dancing but kept pushing it to the back of your priorities. Now is the time to unfurl your wings and soar into the world of untapped possibilities.

Mastering the Art of Self-Love

Many people underestimate the power of self-love and the positive domino effect it can have on various aspects of their lives. Now is the ideal time to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. Engaging in self-care practices such as meditation, setting boundaries, and reflecting on personal development can significantly impact your overall well-being.

Remember, being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. It’s merely an opportunity to establish stronger connections with oneself away from the noise and influence of others. This might include exploring spiritual or philosophical ideas that resonate with you, spending time in nature to ground yourself, and more.

Enjoy Being Single and Focus on Career Development

Being single gives you a unique freedom to throw yourself into your career without any distraction. Brush up your resume, apply for that dream job, or start that business you’ve been considering. If you’re happy with your current job, think of ways you could improve or gain additional responsibilities. Use this time to boost your professional skills and network.

It’s also crucial to reconnect with friends and family during this time. Sometimes, relationships can take us away from our loved ones, but being single gives us the chance to build closer bonds with those who’ve been there for us regardless of our relationship status.

Consider this phase as a golden opportunity to fall in love with yourself and the world around you from a fresh perspective. Use it as a launching pad for your future, whether it leads to remaining single or entering a new relationship. Remember, embracing your solo journey helps you become your best self, ready and capable to handle whatever comes next.

Mastering the Art of Solitude: Comfort in Your Own Company

Embracing solitude should not be viewed as a sentence of loneliness, but as an opportunity to bond with oneself. This is the time for you, who may have spent years in a relationship, to enjoy your own company to the fullest. This practice is not only empowering but also fosters self-awareness and self-appreciation.

Begin with creating a personal sanctuary, an environment where you feel at peace, where you can relax and let your mind wander. This space can be as simple as a corner of your room adorned with your favorite things, a cozy reading nook, or even an outdoor space like your garden.

Practice solitude in small doses. If you’re not used to spending time alone, start by allocating short spans of time for yourself, gradually increasing as you become more comfortable with your alone time. Whether it’s reading a book, painting, cooking your favorite meal, or simply sipping a cup of coffee, find joy in these moments.

Expand Your Horizons: Engage in Solo Activities

Explore solo activities that you enjoy and allow you to flex your independence. It could be joining a painting class, signing up for martial arts, learning a musical instrument or even traveling alone. These activities will not only keep you engaged but also provide an avenue to flourish outside a relationship.

Traveling Solo: Adventure Awaits

Traveling alone can be a fantastic experience. It allows you to tailor your travel experiences to your tastes. Want to explore a museum or take a hike? No need to consult or compromise with anyone. Along with the excitement of discovery, you will also learn to handle and overcome challenges on your own. It is a breathtakingly liberating experience that makes a strong statement about your self-reliance.
Cherish this opportunity, secure with the knowledge that being single allows you the freedom to define your life in terms and conditions that satisfy your core being.

Enjoy Being Single by Breaking Free: A Guide to Independence and Self-Love

Embrace the opportunity that the single life provides to foster a deep sense of self-reliance, a quality treasured in every sphere of life. Here’s how you can venture on this path of independence.

Cultivating Life Skills

Being single offers you the perfect chance to cultivate and hone essential life skills. Whether it’s mastering culinary endeavors, learning how to manage finances effectively, or becoming your own handyman around the house, these skills not only contribute to personal growth but also foster a sense of self-achievement and confidence.

Taking the Lead in Decision Making

When we share our life with a partner, it’s common to make compromises and sometimes let go of our preferences. But as a single woman, you have the freedom to make all the decisions without consultation. Take this opportunity to make choices based on solely what works best for you, and tune into your innate instincts for guidance.

Embracing Emotional Autonomy

Appreciate the emotional autonomy that comes with singlehood. This means understanding your feelings, taking responsibility for them, and learning how to nurture your emotional wellbeing independently. Emotional autonomy leads to emotional maturity, which in turn helps shape healthy relationships in the future.

Being single is not about waiting for the perfect partner but rather an opportunity to be the best version of yourself – fully independent and wholly embracing self-love. Enjoy this time to grow, learn, and experience life wholly as you.

enjoy being single

Enjoy Being Single: Personal, Social, and Financial Benefits

While it’s easy to list off societal advantages of being in a relationship or being married, let’s not forget that being single, as well, comes with its unique perks. Personally, socially, and financially, there are several upsides to celebrate your single status. Let’s unpack some of these advantages.

Nurturing Personal Freedom

Being single empowers you in a unique way; it grants you an unparalleled level of personal freedom. This freedom extends to the little decisions—like watching your guilty-pleasure TV show without interruption—to bigger life choices, like moving across the country for an exciting job opportunity or spontaneously embarking on an impromptu vacation. Your choices are not limited or regulated by someone else’s preferences, habits, or routines.

Developing Strong Social Bonds

Without a significant other to monopolize your time, you might find yourself reaching out more to your friends, family, and community. This is an excellent time to cultivate new friendships, discover exciting social groups, or commit to regular volunteer work. Being single provides you with an ample opportunity to broaden your social circles and deepen existing relationships.

Enjoy Being Single by Securing Financial Independence

Without the constraints and considerations of a partner’s financial habits, being single allows you to take full control of your finances. You have the liberty to manage your income as you see fit: save, splurge, invest or donate, the choice is entirely yours. This sense of financial independence not only develops your financial acuity but also provides an empowering sense of self-reliance.

Being single offers a multitude of benefits that can lead to personal growth, enriched social interactions, and financial autonomy. Cherishing this time and appreciating these advantages can help shift your perspective and empower you to relish in your single status.

Travel Solo: Experiences and Insights

There’s a unique kind of thrill that comes with stamping your passport all by yourself, waiting at the departure lounge with an air of anticipation. Solo travel is an experience that can introduce you to unparalleled self-discovery and growth. Let’s embark on this adventure together.

Unleashing the Explorer Within

Traveling alone can bring out the explorer within you. With no one else to rely on for decisions or plans, it’s up to you to create the journey you truly desire. This can be a liberating experience, allowing you to discover not only the wonders of the world, but also those hidden layers of your personality. You might surprise yourself with how resourceful, brave, and independent you can be.

Fostering Relationships and Cultural Understanding

During your solo trips, expect unexpected friendships along the way. Interacting with locals and fellow travelers can sometimes offer more meaningful connections than daily interactions at home. You’ll expose yourself more wholeheartedly to different cultures, customs, and perspectives, broadening your understanding and fostering a deeper respect for diversity.

Freedom and Flexibility at Its Best

Traveling solo means you can follow your own schedule, independent of others’ needs or preferences. Wake up at sunrise to catch the spectacular view from the peak? Yep, you can! Spend a leisurely afternoon at a local market? Absolutely! With no compromises to make, every day becomes a symphony of your own making.

Self-Reflection and Personal Development

Lastly, the quiet moments on solo trips provide excellent opportunities for introspection. Away from familiar environments and routines, you’ll have the chance to view your life from a different perspective. These moments of solitude can be transformative, leading to personal growth and a deeper appreciation of your strength and resilience.

Being single doesn’t mean you can’t hit the road and satiate your wanderlust. On the contrary, it offers you an enviable liberty to travel solo, explore to your heart’s content, make unexpected friendships, and discover your true self. It’s a journey worth taking!

Enjoy Being Single by Building a Financial Fortress

Consider that with singlehood comes an unmatched opportunity to build a strong financial foundation. Would you like to control your money like a boss lady? Let’s plunge in.

A Firm Grasp on Budgeting

Think of budgeting as a means to highlight your independence. With budgeting, you directly control where your money goes and how much you save. It steers you clear from mounting debt and helps you steadily accumulate wealth. Balancing monthly rent, utilities, groceries, and ensuring a chunk of your income is stashed away for future needs could surely make you feel empowered.

Embracing Investments And Assets

Ever considered making your money work for you? Investments are the keys. Shares, bonds, or real estate investments are lucrative options to start with. These yield returns over time, amplifying your capital. As a single woman, you are in the advantageous position to take risks, learn, and grow in the financial world.

Financial Cushion: Prioritizing Emergency Funds

It’s prudent to have an emergency fund as a financial safety net, something that’s achievable when you’re in control of your finances. Think of it as your personal financial cushion, there to break your fall during financially demanding situations. As a single woman, having an emergency fund gives you the freedom to navigate unexpected circumstances without accumulating debt or compromising your lifestyle.

Begin by assessing your monthly expenses. How much do you need to cover necessities like rent or mortgage, groceries, utilities, transportation, and healthcare? Experts recommend having at least 3-6 months’ worth of expenses stashed somewhere safe, easily accessible, and earning interest.

Building an emergency fund may feel like a monumental task, especially if you’re starting from zero. But remember that even the smallest savings add up over time. Automating your savings could help in this endeavor. Have a specific amount or percentage of your income transferred to your emergency fund automatically every pay period. Consider it a payment to your future self.

Lastly, as you adjust your budget to accommodate your emergency fund, don’t forget to balance it with your other financial goals – like retirement savings or investment opportunities. You are crafting a bigger picture of financial resilience and security, and an emergency fund is just one piece of the puzzle.

Acknowledge the power that comes with financial independence and command your financial future with confidence. Remember: the security and peace of mind you gain from your financial cushion is one more reason to love and embrace your singlehood.

Enjoy Being Single by Cultivating Nourishing Friendships

One of the key aspects of enjoying your singlehood involves fostering and maintaining strong friendships. Having a supportive network of reliable friends can instil confidence and fill your life with happiness, love, and wisdom.

No person is an island, and so nurturing friendships should be considered as a vital part of life, single or not. It can be your strongest defense against feelings of loneliness often attached to being single.

Journey Together: Strengthen Bonds with Shared Activities

Shared activities are like the mortar that holds the bricks of friendship together – strong and flexible. They help to create unforgettable memories which form the basis of lasting relationships. Planning movie nights, weekend getaways, or cooking sessions together are excellent ways to strengthen the bonds. You can bask in soulful, uplifting conversations or engage in lively debates while sharing your joys and interests together.

Create a Sisterhood: Connect on a Deeper Level

Fostering deeper connections with your friends elevates your relationship from shallow interactions to a wholesome sisterhood. Vulnerability plays a key role in this process. Be open about your fears, failures, and dreams, for it creates a safe space that allows others to do the same. These candid and colorful conversations form stepping stones to greater understanding and mutual respect.

Lift Each Other: Being Supportive Through Thick and Thin

Being there for one another, in joy and in grief, sits at the heart of every meaningful friendship. Express genuine interest in understanding your friends’ lives, experiences, and perspectives. Offer them motivation when they are down, celebrate their achievements, and support them in difficult times. This exchange promotes deeper connection, and it builds a safety net of love and acceptance around you.

Cultivate New Friendships: Expand Your Circle

Embracing new friendships does not deemphasize the significance of old ones. In fact, introducing fresh perspectives to your life can help expand your horizons and introduce you to new experiences. Attend local social events, join interest groups, or volunteer at local charities to meet new people. Each new friend brings a unique layer to your life, fostering personal growth and contributing to a thrilling single life.

Remember, the idea is not to surround yourself with people to avoid being alone. Rather, it’s about gathering a tribe that aligns with your values, reciprocates your effort, and amplifies the joy of being single!

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

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Enjoy Being Single by Dating Yourself: The Ultimate Self-Love Practice

Appreciating your own company takes on a whole new level when you begin to date yourself. This practice is more than just a trendy hashtag; it’s a radical act of self-love and affirmation. This isn’t about imitating the structure of conventional dates but instead redefining what the experience should be like through the lens of self-care and celebration.

Creating Your Ideal Date

The first step into this transformative practice starts with thinking about what your ideal date would look like if you were planning it for yourself. Is it an innovative cooking class? Perhaps a serene day spent at a spa or maybe an adventurous hike in the mountains? The wonderful thing about it is that you don’t need to compromise with anyone but yourself. You can take this time to explore and engage in activities you truly enjoy, giving you more insight into your individual preferences and passions.

Empowering Solo Time

Being your own date means you are the guest of honor and the gracious host simultaneously. So, dress up (or dress down if you prefer!), cook your favorite meal, luxuriate in a bubble bath, or sink into a book you’ve been putting off reading. Investing time in yourself not only relieves stress but also enhances your self-esteem and self-efficacy.

Reconnecting with Yourself

When you date yourself, you’re taking the time to nurture your needs and indulge in your interests. This fosters a connection between your mind, body, and spirit that’s truly rejuvenating. You’ll find that you’re getting to know yourself on a deeper level, recognizing your strengths and accepting your flaws in the process. Moreover, taking yourself out on dates can boost your mindfulness, making you more aware of your emotions, thoughts, and actions in the process.

A Celebration of Singlehood

Remember, dating yourself isn’t a “consolation prize” for being single. Rather, it’s a celebration of your independence and the freedom to enjoy your own company without feeling lonely. It’s an opportunity to cultivate a strong, loving relationship with yourself – the kind that radiates outwards, touching every aspect of your life.

Mindfulness and Emotional Well-being in Singlehood

Thriving in singlehood isn’t just about tangible achievements and activities – it also involves deep introspection, emotional awareness, and cultivating a positive mindset. Let’s delve into practicing mindfulness and pursuing emotional well-being during this special chapter of your life.

Catch Your Breath: Practicing Mindfulness

Engaging in mindfulness exercises can help bring clarity, calmness, and a deeper understanding of your emotional state. Mindfulness is the practice of focusing all your attention on the present moment and accepting it without judgement. Not only does it help manage stress, but it also allows for a true exploration of self.

Guided Meditation and Yoga

Both guided meditation and yoga can serve as powerful tools for mindfulness. Spending just a few minutes each day, quieting your mind and tuning in to your body can bring about profound mental and emotional benefits. It’s about being present with every breath and ever movement, ultimately nurturing a friendly, positive relationship with your self.

The Art of Mindful Eating

Mindful eating is another enjoyable, practical way to practice mindfulness. It is savouring every bite, appreciating the food, and listening to your body’s signals. This can not just transform your relationship with food, but also bring about a sense of gratitude and contentment.

Emotional Resilience: Your Emotional Well-Being Matters

Singlehood, like any other phase of life, can come with its own set of challenges, highs, and lows. But remember, your emotional health is important. There is immense power in acknowledging your feelings, understanding them, and gently guiding yourself towards positivity.

Enjoy Being Single and Grasp the Power of Positivity

Every thought holds energy. Make yours positive. Cultivate an optimistic attitude, even amid challenges. Remember, it’s not about ignoring negative feelings, but rather acknowledging them and then choosing to focus on the brighter side of things.

Understanding and Embracing Your Emotions

Your feelings are valid. Confront them, understand them, and allow yourself to feel them completely. Being at peace with your emotions can provide a foundation for stronger mental resilience and overall emotional health.

Empowering Yourself: Career Advancements as a Single Woman

Seizing your single status as a platform to progress in your career is empowering on so many levels. As a single woman, you hold the reins of your life. You are at a unique place where you can wholeheartedly devote yourself to career advancement without having to compromise on your aspirations for anybody else. Yes, you can prioritize your ambition and formulate clear career goals — the kind that sets your heart on fire, fills you with zeal and gets you thrilled about your future.

Building Expertise and Credibility

Start by identifying the area of your career where you want to develop an in-depth knowledge. Once you’ve pinpointed this, commit to learning relentlessly. This could involve taking up additional courses, attending conferences, reading extensively or simply seeking advice from mentors. Remember, as you learn and grow, you transform not only your professional identity but also the way you perceive yourself. You gain confidence, deepen your skillset, and become valued in your field. In essence, you are proof of the saying: “knowledge is power”.

Diving into Leadership Roles

It’s a game-changing move when a woman steps forward and occupies positions of leadership. It’s not just about managing a team, but about the influence you can make in your field. Yes, it can be challenging and a huge responsibility. But remember, the world needs more women leaders, and your unique set of skills, experiences, and perspectives can bring a lot to the table.

Chasing Your Passion

If you have a passion project or a dream career you’ve always wanted to pursue, now is the time to dive into it. As a single woman, you have the incredible advantage of being able to take risks and experiment without having to worry about the direct impact your decisions may have on a partner or a family. Don’t shy away from chasing what truly sets your soul alight. It may seem scary at first, but you’ll never know until you take that leap.

Work for Balance, Not Burnout

Here’s a reminder though: While securing career advancements is important, it’s just as crucial to maintain a healthy work-life balance. As a single woman, it’s easy to fall into the traps of overworking and burnout. Make sure to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and make time for relaxation and fun. After all, the aim is to enjoy being single, isn’t it?

Home Alone but Happy: Enjoying Your Personal Space

Being single allows you the unique privilege of having complete and total control over your personal space. It’s your castle, your sanctuary, and you get to dictate every facet of its existence. From the aesthetic design to the daily care, with no compromises or negotiations, your home becomes a true reflection and extension of yourself. Here are some ways you can relish in this freedom and make the most out of your personal space.

Curate Your Perfect Environment

As you’re the master of your own domain, you can define your personal space to mirror your preferences and personality. Love bright colors? Go ahead and paint that wall neon pink. Are you a fan of minimalism? Decorate your home with neat designs and keep clutter-free. Experiment with different looks and themes till you find what makes you feel the most at home. Remember, you’re crafting a personal haven that serves as an outlet for creative expression, reflecting who you are and what you love.

Indulge in Home Spa Days

You have the freedom to turn your bathroom into your very own spa whenever you like. Purchase some aromatic bath oils, light some soothing candles, and let the warmth of the bath melt your stresses away. Boxed in this intimate environment, you can focus solely on self-care and relaxation, which isn’t just luxurious, but essential for your well-being.

Create Personal Rituals

Living alone gives you the chance to create personal rituals that resonate with your soul and give your life structure. Perhaps it’s brewing a cup of tea first thing in the morning, doing yoga by your window, or reading a book on your couch before bed. These rituals become an integral part of your daily routine, offering comfort and consistency, and acting as self-care practices that keep you grounded and balanced in your single life.

Enjoy Being Single by Taking Control of Home Maintenance

While it may seem daunting, being responsible for your home’s upkeep can be incredibly empowering. Learn how to do minor repairs, redecorate or even DIY your own home improvements. These tasks provide practical skills and give you a satisfying sense of control and ownership over your space. Plus, it’s always a great conversational starter, knowing how to install a light fixture or fix a leaky faucet!

Your home is more than just a space. It’s a reflection of you, filtered through your unique perspective and tastes, serving as a constant reminder of your singular journey. So embrace the autonomy that comes with this territory. After all, as they say, “there is no place like home”.

The Single Woman’s Guide to Confidence and Self-Esteem

Building confidence and self-esteem is not a fleeting process; rather, it demands consistent efforts and patience. However, singlehood offers a wonderful opportunity to focus on these aspects of personal growth.

Cultivate Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy, or the belief in our ability to accomplish tasks and achieve goals, is a crucial aspect of confidence. Start by setting and achieving small, realistic goals to gradually build a sense of competence and belief in yourself.

Recall Past Successes

Doubts may creep in from time to time, threatening your confidence. In such moments, recall your past achievements and let the memory of these triumphs fuel your self-belief.

Empower Yourself With Knowledge

Be a lifelong learner. Empower yourself with knowledge and engage in topics that interest you. Expanding your knowledge base can fuel self-confidence.

Enjoy Being Single and Foster Positive Body Image

Our perception of our body plays a significant role in shaping our self-esteem. Embrace your unique beauty and resist the urge to compare yourself with others. Regularly engage in activities that make you feel good about your body, such as, practicing yoga, indulging in healthy food, or experimenting with a new style.

Affirmations and Self-Talk

Positive self-talk can significantly influence our level of confidence and self-esteem. Start and end your day with affirmations that cultivate positivity and self-love.

Acknowledge Respect and Appreciation Towards Self

Respect and appreciation aren’t just meant to be shown towards others; they should be directed towards yourself too. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and appreciate your efforts. This acts as an important reminder that every step you take is bringing you closer to becoming the best version of yourself.

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Remember, seeking professional assistance for enhancing self-esteem and confidence is not a sign of weakness. Therapists and counselors can provide valuable insights and tools to help manage doubts and insecurities effectively.

Lastly, do remember that true confidence and self-esteem come from within and are not dependent on someone else’s validation. Embrace your singleness as a phase to invest in building up yourself where your worth is realized by nobody but you.

Wrapping Up: Enjoy Being Single

Being single can seem daunting at first, but when you learn to navigate through it, it can be an empowering experience. The journey to enjoying singlehood begins with a fundamental shift in perspective – where you switch from seeing it as a lacking condition to an opportunity.

Embrace Singlehood: Cherishing Me-time

Embracing singlehood is all about understanding the worth of your me-time. Being single gives you plenty of time to focus on your interests, to delve deeper into hobbies, and to take care of your physical and mental well-being.

Crafting Your Solo Schedule

There’s an undeniable power in creating your own schedule. The flexibility not only encourages personal growth but also opens up opportunities that were earlier hidden. As a single woman, you have the freedom to frame your days in a way that suits you best.

Whether it’s dedicating an hour a day to learn a new language, practicing yoga, or even trying your hand at a gourmet recipe, remember to enjoy the ride. It’s not always about the end goal but about the experiences and lessons you gain along the way.

Enriching Personal Space

When living alone, you have the liberty to decorate and maintain your living space as per your tastes and preferences. Consider this as an opportunity to express your creativity and individuality.

Develop an atmosphere that invokes positivity and peace. Make every corner of your house uniquely yours and watch how your living space turns into a therapeutic sanctuary that eases your tensions and rejuvenates your spirits.

Adopting Healthy Lifestyle Choices

With an unobstructed focus on yourself, adopting healthier lifestyle choices becomes more manageable. Eat nutritiously, exercise regularly, and maintain a sleep schedule that complements your body’s rhythm. Remember, good health isn’t a destination, but a way of life.

Prioritizing Mental Wellness

The pathway to enjoying your single years fully lies in taking care of your mental health as religiously as physical health. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or any activity that helps in managing stress. Consider seeking professional guidance if need be. Your mental wellness matters immensely.

Every phase of life comes with its challenges, but it is these difficulties that make us grow as individuals. So, embrace your single years wholeheartedly and transform them into the most enriching period of your life.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

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How to Get Over a Crush | Get Over a Man You Aren’t Dating

I’m Pushing Him Away with My Insecurities | How Can I Stop?

Build a Great Relationship, Build Confidence, Find Happily Ever After, Get My Ex Back, Understand Men

Am I pushing him away with my insecurities? You’ve met Mr. Right and all of a sudden, he’s all you can think about. Day in and day out, your mind is on your new guy and how great he is. You spend way too much time wondering if he feels the same way about you.

You fixate on him by sending multiple texts, emails and phone calls a day. But what happens? He pulls back! This is crazy! He seemed to feel something for you. Why is he retreating?

Not understanding the problem, you text more and try harder by cooking his favorite meals and inviting him for dinner. You try buying his favorite beer or suggesting you hang out at his favorite place. He might show up occasionally, but you can feel his detachment.

So you continue to try harder.

The next thing you know, he rarely answers your texts and you don’t see him. He’s gone rogue in a big way.

What happened? Did he find another woman? Did you do something to push him away? What’s going on?

What’s going on is that you did indeed push him away with your insecurities.

Your attempts to win him back only made things worse because you went the wrong way. You fixated on him more and more. Of course, the more you fixated on him, the more he retreated.

It’s time to learn why.

Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities

Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities | Your Mind Plays Tricks on You

Your mind is a master at playing tricks on you. Your conscious mind operates based on past history so, in the past, when a man became distant, he left. That’s what your mind knows.

When you meet a new guy and things are all hot and heavy, your mind says, “Hey, this is looking good so I’ll proceed as before.”

You feel those squishy feelings of love early on, probably too early. You’re totally hot for this guy and every minute spent with him, either by text, phone or FaceTime, is like gold.

Unfortunately, your history is that guys leave. Why else would you be dating a new guy? Working off past history, your mind says, “Eventually, this guy will leave too.” This stirs up your insecurities.

What you might start asking yourself is, “Am I pushing him away with my insecurities?” And, consequently, what can I do to become more secure? That answer will come soon.

Subsequently, You Obsess

The more rogue he becomes, the more you feel panicky and anxious. The more anxious you become, the more you obsess.

Of course, you don’t want him to leave! You want him to stay! He’s awesome!! What can you do to get him to stay with you?

Your obsessive thoughts are like a runaway train, speeding along too fast and errant. You text him all the time with stuff he doesn’t want to read like “Hey what’cha doin?” or “What’s up?”.

When he doesn’t reply, your mind starts playing tricks again. Thoughts like, “He’s gonna leave. They all leave” roll around and your obsession becomes a little more intense.

These thoughts are anxiety run amok. It’s your mind running forward with worrisome thoughts that aren’t as fact-based as they seem. These anxious thoughts feel real, though, and you don’t seem to have any other facts to deny them.

Is Your Relationship Over?

Do you think your relationship is teetering on the edge of disaster? Has he aleady left? This is a great article for sure, but there are others! Just click the button to read them.

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Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities | He Pulls Away

Of course, the problem is that the more obsessing you do, the less he responds. Oh, he’ll root for you for a while and give you hope by saying things like “No, everything is fine, I’m just super busy at work.”

But, things aren’t fine and he isn’t super busy. He may already be dating someone else or at least thinking about it.

Why?

No man wants to be your hobby, and that’s what he’s become. He doesn’t want you doting on him and he definitely doesn’t want to answer thirty texts from you a day.

It’s a Vicious Circle

He’s pulling back and you’re ramping up your texts, furiously trying to pull him back in. But, the unfortunate truth is that all your efforts to win him back are confirming for him why he needs to leave.

At some point, you get the message that says, “I need some space” or “I think we should see other people”.

And that brings us back to the beginning. You’re frustrated, angry, disappointed and upset because you don’t know what happened.

Again, it’s time to as yourself, “Am I pushing him away with my insecurities?”

Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities | It’s a Confidence Thing

A confident woman doesn’t spend one iota of time worrying about whether a guy is into her. Nope. No siree. A confident woman knows that any guy she dates is a guy she has carefully chosen to be part of her life. HE is lucky to be dating her!

When your insecurities get the better of you, it’s because your dating confidence is low. You don’t believe a guy could ever want to be with you for an extended period of time and when one does show interest, it’s hard to believe.

You double down your efforts to keep him, but those efforts are transparent and he immediately sees your lack of confidence. He might not identify it in that way and most guys won’t tell you that’s why they’re breaking up with you, but he knows.

Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities

What Can You do to Change?

You’re asking, “Am I pushing him away with my insecurities?” The answer is yes, and while this relationship is probably lost, there is time to work on yourself before meeting another guy.

Take a Small Dating Break

Take a break from dating. It’s very difficult to improve your dating confidence while you’re in the middle of a relationship. The work you need to do is best done while you’re single. Building your confidence isn’t just about dating; it’s about uncovering who you truly are. What types of men are you really attracted to? You may find that the answer isn’t what you expect.

This break should last as long as it takes for you to believe you deserve a great guy. When you recognize that you’re the chooser and not grateful to be chosen, you’re just about there!

Until you truly believe both of those things, keep doing the work.

Change Your Inner Game

Now that you’re on a dating break, it’s time to work on your inner game. That inner voice that was telling you each guy would run is what needs to go! Each breakup you’ve experienced has caused your dating confidence to decline. This feeds that response your mind has conjured up.

It’s time to work on a new response to dating. It’s time to believe that you have what it takes to keep a great guy, without making him your hobby.

All those canned responses to being in a relationship need to be altered from negative to positive. Right now, you’re allowing your mind to feed you stuff like:

  • I’m not good enough for him
  • No good guy will ever like me
  • I’m not worthy of dating a nice guy like that
  • All guys leave eventually

Moving forward, those negative statements should be replaced:

  • I’m good enough to date any man who’s worthy of me
  • A great guy will be attracted to me
  • I am worthy of dating a nice guy like that
  • A great guy will love me for who I am and he’ll stay

These thoughts don’t turn themselves around overnight. It takes conscious effort to change negative thinking into positive, but you can do it with motivation and determination.

What’s your motivation? Finding the guy of your dreams!

Where do you find determination? It’s already there, within you, waiting to be set free. Your determination will grow as your confidence grows. The more you blossom into a confident woman, the more determined you’ll feel!

Work on Your Confidence

You keep hearing about building your confidence, but how do you do that? What does it mean to build confidence?

Perhaps we should begin by defining confidence: confidence is your belief that you can do something. This means that you can have an abundance of confidence in your ability to do your job or raise your kids, but you can have low confidence about finding a great man.

Many women who reach out to me are in exactly this situation. You are not alone. What are some things you can do to build confidence?

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are essential. They are the line we draw between how other people want to treat us and how we will accept being treated. Many people who have low confidence have few to no boundaries. It’s scary to set boundaries because doing so might make someone upset with you and you can’t stand the thought of that.

I understand, but allow me to ask you this question. Why would you allow someone to treat you badly? Your answer is because you’re afraid they’ll stop being your friend, right?

Well, a true friend wouldn’t dream of crossing your boundaries. The question you should be asking yourself is why does that person think it’s okay to walk all over you and treat you like a doormat? Is that how friends treat friends or is that how people treat others they know will accept their bad behavior?

Having boundaries helps you build your confidence, and it also helps you get rid of toxic people in your life. If you have a boundary that says no sex on the first date, a great guy will not only honor you for it, but respect you. A schmuck will push and push until you give in, and if you don’t, well, you’ll never see him again.

Good! Sianara!

It will be difficult at first to stand up for your boundaries, but once you start, you’ll feel empowered and confident. Confidence builds upon itself, so the more you build, the more you’ll find.

Face Your Fears

It’s so easy to allow fears to keep you from doing things. You’re afraid to fly so you stay home all the time or only go places you can drive to. But you’re missing out on a whole big part of the world by allowing this fear to rule your life.

You may be afraid you’ll die alone, without ever finding happiness. But do you realize that many people lie on their death beds wishing they’d taken more chances? They wish they had faced more fears!

Facing fears is a great way to build your confidence because the voice inside that’s been saying “I can’t” suddenly becomes the voice saying, “I can!”

How do I Stop Pushing Him Away with My Insecurities? You Stop the “It’s Always Me” Thoughts

I’m sorry to tell you this, but his world doesn’t revolve around you.

No, I’m not calling you an egomaniac. Your low confidence forces you to believe everything he does, positive or negative, is about you. He doesn’t want to come over and watch a rom-com with you? It’s because he doesn’t like you.

He doesn’t want to meet your parents on a Wednesday night? It’s because he isn’t serious about you.

Those are the false truths your mind has conjured up. Try to see the facts of a situation. He wasn’t in the mood for a rom-com. Or, he wanted to hang with his friends. Maybe, he was exhausted after a long work day and didn’t want to meet your parents when he wasn’t feeling 100%.

Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities

Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities | Unload Old Relationship Baggage

Men sniff out a bitter woman from one hundred paces. If you have old relationship baggage, you seem as bitter. This isn’t productive if you want to begin a new relationship and have any chance at success.

If you find yourself saying, “Men really suck” or “All men are liars,” you need a time out to unload past hurt. It’s heavy relationship baggage that’s pulling you down into a pit of feeling worthless and unworthy.

Chances are, you don’t even realize you’re lugging this baggage around. It sneaks up on you. First, it’s just a few small items, then you add few more. Then a big one piles on, and another.

By carrying baggage around, you’re carrying past hurt and anger. A guy dumps you and you’re hurt. Instead of forgiving and moving forward in a healthy way, you hold onto that hurt. For a while, there’s a payoff. Your friends and family feel sorry for you, so the hurt stays.

Then, you find another guy and he dumps you for another woman – your best friend no less. Not only are you hurt, you’re angry with them, but you keep it bottled up inside.

Instead of forgiving, you carry it around and it fits nicely with the hurt of the last breakup. This continues until the baggage you’re carrying leaves you jaded and bitter.

Carrying past hurt and anger is causing pain to one person – you. You’re allowing someone to live rent-free in your head, to sabotage your thoughts and hold you hostage. It’s time to forgive. Forgiveness isn’t for the person you’re forgiving and doesn’t make what they did to you okay. It relieves you of the responsibility of carrying the negative emotions associated with that person. It frees up space in your mind for happiness.

Alter Your Communication Skills

Effective communication is key in any relationship. When you communicate with a potential or current boyfriend, it’s a big deal to get it right.

The problem with communication is that you usually come at something from your own perspective. When I was a boy, I needed new hockey skates. I demanded that my mother buy me some. This got me nowhere. Had I come at her from her point of view, I would have had new skates.

What I should have said was, “Hey Mom, if I help you around the house this weekend with some chores, can I get new hockey skates?” Then, I’m recognizing that she’s a busy woman and I’m offering to help her so she will help me.

You might not need new skates but you still need to keep this lesson in mind. Take a few moments to assess a situation from the other persons point of view. Did your ex really avoid you for the reasons you conjured up, or was there something else?

Check Your Paranoia at the Door

Allow your partner to earn your trust and vice versa. To do that, avoid paranoid behaviors that cause trust to deteriorate.

Trust can be a tricky one, because if you’ve experienced a distrustful relationship previously, you’ll be more cautious, perhaps even too cautious. What you must remember is that each person earns or ruins his trust with you on his own. Your trust in one person should never be based on anyone’s past except that one persons.

Just because your last boyfriend cheated doesn’t mean all men cheat. It means that one did. And if your last boyfriend was financially irresponsible, it doesn’t mean your next guy will be too.

If you don’t trust him but there is no basis for your distrust, it’s probably your issue. Trust issues are common so don’t feel like it’s only you. Be real with what you believe, trust him until he proves to you he can’t be trusted and keep your eyes wide open so you don’t trust someone you shouldn’t.

Snooping through his phone or email is not trustful. Sneaking around town, looking to see if he’s where he said he would be is not trustful. If you find he’s cheating on you or lying to you, dump him. He doesn’t deserve you. Otherwise, trust him and grow that trust into a beautiful relationship.

Become an Independent Woman

This one is HUGE. Co-dependent relationships NEVER work. I recently spoke to a 17-year old girl whose parents have been divorced for several years. While her mother has her act together, her dad is another story.

She stated to me that when her dad and his new wife, who is 12 years younger, are apart from one another for more than twenty-four hours, they come undone. She asked me why. I told her that they were co-dependent. She said, “Yeah, I don’t want to be like that!”

I affirmed her belief and told her how she could stay an independent young lady. Her mother is a great example, which I pointed out to her. I told her to be strong, to be financially stable and to be sure of herself. She also told me she doesn’t want to date and is really just enjoying her life as it is right now. This tells me she’s on the right track.

When you’re an independent woman, you won’t get sucked into a co-dependent relationship. What does it mean to be independent? It means you don’t rely on a man for your happiness and your mood isn’t determined by anyone else’s. It means you know what you want and how you plan to go about getting it.

You have goals and you’re driven to chase after them. You know any man would be lucky to be great enough to get and keep your attention. It means you have a life outside of your relationship and it includes hobbies, activities, adventures and friendships.

Independence comes with confidence, so the more confident you become, the more independent you’ll be.

Am I Pushing Him Away With My Insecurities?

By asking, am I pushing him away with my insecurites, you’re taking the first step in fixing the problem. You recognize something isn’t quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it. Now, after reading the information above, you hopefully have a better understanding of how you can fix things.

If you’re insecure, you will chase men off. The only men you won’t chase off are insecure men. This leads you down the path to a co-dependent relationship. In order to be one-half of a successful relationship, build your confidence, believe you’re worthy of a quality man and develop higher self-esteem. You need to be independent, strong, financially stable and baggage-free.

This is all possible! I know you can do it!

It's Time to Understand Men!

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

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