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Stop Obsessing Over a Guy | How to Stop Thinking About Him

You may have dated for a while, or maybe he’s just a crush, but either way, you wonder why you can’t stop thinking about him and want to know how to stop obsessing over a guy.

If you’re going through a breakup and find yourself obsessing over your ex, consider yourself very normal. Studies show that as many as 75% of people experiencing a breakup feel like you do.

These lingering feelings can cause you to be obsessive, anxious, and to feel depressed. What can you do to stop obsessing over a guy? Let’s find out together!

What You’ll Find Here

Are You Obsessing?
WHY are You Obsessed?
End Your Social Connections
Stop Looking for Him Everywhere
Try to Avoid Triggers
Work on Yourself for a While
Recognize that You’re Addicted to These Thoughts
Don’t Give Energy to Those Thoughts
Focus Your Energy Elsewhere
Practice Self-Care
Be Mindful
Journal
Write Him a Letter
Seek Professional Help
Conclusion

First, Are You Obsessing?

Before we go too far, let’s first decide if you are obsessing over this guy. Do you find yourself:

Stalking his social media?
Driving by his work or hangouts to see if you spot him?
Constantly thinking about him?
Having difficulty focusing on anything else?
Feeling a sense of longing for him?
Having difficulty moving on?

If you answered yes to any of these, then you’re probably obsessing, and you need to learn how to stop obsessing over a guy!

WHY are You Obsessed?

There are several reasons why you are obsessing over him, and knowing why you’re behaving in this way will help you in your journey to stop.

You Never Saw Healthy Relationships

Many people never experienced a healthy relationship between their own parents and therefore don’t know what one looks like.

Instead, they perpetuate the same behaviors they grew up observing. This isn’t your fault. Much of our upbringing and how we turn out as adults comes from the nurture side of the nurture/nature debate.

If your parents threw dishes, yelled and screamed at one another, or even threatened one another, it’s what you consider to be normal.

Also, if you were raised by one parent, you didn’t experience what a normal adult partnership looks like, so you have no point of reference.

Your Parents Lacked Confidence

Children raised by parents to lack confidence often lack confidence as well. Again, it’s a natural progression of how you were raised.

Every now and then, a child somehow pops out of a childhood like this and becomes a confident adult, but that’s rare. More often than not, a person realizes something is wrong and goes in search of answers, just like you have today.

This isn’t your fault either, but now that you’re aware of it, you can focus your attention on building your own confidence. I mentioned this above – great men are drawn to confident women. Your best relationship ever will come when you’re a confident woman who finds a confident man.

You Have Attachment Issues

There’s a trend here and it’s your childhood and what you experienced. Attachment issues often stem from problems in your childhood.

You may have experienced little to no love from one or both of your parents, or maybe you only felt loved when you were good.

When you experience obsession over someone who’s no longer in your life, you may have anxiety attachment.

You push away and pull in relationships to alleviate your anxiety. Either you’re anxious because you aren’t in a relationship or the relationship is making you anxious. When the relationship ends, you panic.

You’re a Relationship Addict

When you’re addicted to relationships, you experience highs and lows, like a drug addict might.

Your body becomes addicted to the hormones produced when you’re in love, so there’s that, but there’s also just an addiction to feeling the high of things being great.

Then, when the relationship dips or you argue with one another, you feel like you can barely put one foot in front of the other. Leaving the house seems like an absolute heck no.

Finally, thoughts about this person may distract you from every other part of your life, like sleeping, eating, working, or attending class. Everything else is set aside over the addiction.

You May Fear Rejection

Nobody wants to be rejected, but some people experience a fear of rejection on a level that’s not normal or healthy.

Again, big surprise, this comes from issues in your childhood. One or both of your parents or someone else important to you may have left, either by choice or death. You were left feeling abandoned, rejected.

Now you fear that anyone you get close to will reject or abandon you too, and when someone does leave, it sends you into a tailspin. Your obsession becomes trying to win them back – to be better so they’ll want you again.

Your Sense of Self was Destroyed in Childhood

Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse as a child will destroy your sense of self. It will probably lead you to experience low self-esteem, low self-worth, and low confidence as an adult.

You don’t believe you deserve happiness. You doubt you’re worthy of having someone love you and you don’t believe in your ability to have a happy successful relationship.

Being a victim becomes who you are, but it doesn’t need to be that way.

G. None of the Above

Sometimes, we just get a little crazy. It happens. If you can identify with one of the reasons above, I encourage you to seek professional help, but if you don’t, keep reading to discover how to stop obsessing over a guy.

Even if you do identify with the things above, much of what you’ll read below are good behaviors to add to your life anyway.

Stop Obsessing Over a Guy by Ending Your Social Connections

I know you find some sort of relief in stalking his social media right now. You can see that he’s not dating anyone else, or that he’s feeling miserable without you too.

But it’s time to stop.

Unfriend him. Unfollow him. Block him from your accounts.

While you’re finding some relief from your anxiety by checking in, it isn’t helping you move on. If you were a couple and now are broken up, it’s time to let him go. Even if you want him back and believe you might be able to get him back, the advice is the same.

And While You’re at It, Stop Looking for Him Anywhere Else

It’s time to go full-on no contact. He’s not in your life right now, so it’s time to stop driving by his office or the gym when you know he’ll be there. It’s time to remove his name and phone number from your phone, but not before you block him.

If you think you might want to get back together later, write his number down and give it to a trusted friend or hide it from yourself. You need to remove the ability to reach out to him in a weak moment.

You're a Survivor!

You might not feel like you can survive a breakup when it first happens, but if you look back in your life, you'll see that you've survived breakups before! This is a great article to help you, but there are others! Click the button below to check them out!

Try to Avoid Triggers so You can Stop Obsessing Over a Guy

A trigger is something that reminds you of him. It could be a shirt, an item in your home, a place where you went together, or even his friends.

These things only bring up memories that keep you stuck in this miserable place.

Box up his stuff if you have any of it. Put any of the gifts he gave you in a box and set it aside somewhere out of the way, like in your attic or crawl space. Avoid those hangouts and his friends.

Work on Yourself for a While

One of the best things you can do for yourself after a breakup is to take some time to work on yourself.

Your confidence is lower than it should be right now, so work on building your confidence for starters. Great men are attracted to confident women, and they avoid women who have low confidence.

Evaluate where you are in life right now and where you want to go. This is a great time to dream a little and set some goals for yourself. Do you want to travel? Are you happy with your job? Do you want to learn a new hobby, build muscle, or lose weight?

While you’re single, it’s a great time to get in touch with yourself and re-establish who you are and what you want.

Recognize That You’re Addicted to These Thoughts

When you think about it, obsessing over someone is like an addiction. You’re getting a high out of imagining your life back with him. You keep thinking about your relationship with him and how much you want him back.

What if your former addiction was cocaine or heroin? Would you think it was okay to think about how great your life was while you were using? Of course not.

Both are unhealthy relationships that have been severed, for the better.

These are thoughts. They aren’t your reality and distinguishing between the two is crucial to learning how to stop obsessing over a guy.

You’re romanticizing him. You see only what you think was good and you’re ignoring what was not good.

Stop Obsessing Over a Guy by Not Giving Energy to These Thoughts

You think about him so you call your bestie and start talking about him with her. All you’re doing is feeding your addiction to these thoughts. You aren’t helping yourself at all.

Additionally, avoid people who gain from your addiction. You aren’t the only person who has an addictive nature and others who do will feed off of what you’re sharing.

It may be time to chuck a few friends from your life if this description fits them. They aren’t adding anything positive to your life, but are helping you stay down. It might be unintentional, but if you want to end the obsessive behavior, you need different friends.

Focus Your Energy Elsewhere

My guess is that you aren’t working on any hobbies, you don’t volunteer anywhere, or have anything you’re passionate about. Am I right?

How do I know this?

Because if you did have any of those things going on in your life, you’d have less time to obsess.

Hobbies, passions, and serving others are all great ways to distract yourself from things you want to avoid. It takes your mind, which has nothing else to focus on besides your obsession, and it dips it into something interesting.

Stop Obsessing Over a Guy by Practicing Self-Care

Show yourself you’re worthy of love by spending time on yourself for a while. Develop a self-care routine and stick with it.

This can not only divert your thoughts but help you overcome feelings of overwhelm and stress.

The Little Self-Care Handbook is a great way to get started! You can read more about it here or click one of the links below to buy it.

Be Mindful

When you are mindful, you are focused on the here and now, not the past or future. This is a great tool for shifting unhealthy thoughts away.

When you find yourself wistful for this guy, look around you and find something beautiful. Maybe it’s out a window, or perhaps it’s a favorite photo on your wall. If you can’t find something beautiful, check for pleasant smells like flowers or even a favorite food like popcorn or steak.

The idea is to be more observant of your surroundings and focus your thoughts there. Appreciate what’s right in front of you at this very moment.

Stop Obsessing Over a Guy by Journaling

Getting your thoughts down on paper can sometimes help them wither away. It might be that you need to let go of negative feelings about him.

It’s also possible that you don’t really know why you’re obsessing over him, but if you allow your thoughts to flow freely from your mind onto the paper, you might discover things you didn’t realize.

Write Him a Letter

You may be stuck on something negative that happened between you, or something you’re ashamed of or embarrassed by that occurred in your relationship.

You may also just need to tell him goodbye in a more formal way.

A letter is a great tool for this. This isn’t a letter you’ll send. It’s a letter you’ll write and destroy. Sit down with pen and paper and let the letter flow out of you. Like journaling, just let the thoughts flow from mind to paper.

Be sure to include something about why the two of you can’t be together right now. Tell yourself (because this is for you), why the relationship is not good for you.

Once you’re satisfied that you have it all down, if you need to extend forgiveness to him, be sure to include that at the end. After the letter is complete, destroy it with a shredder or by burning it, safely of course.

Stop Obsessing Over a Guy by Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, especially if you have an addictive personality or attachment issues, a professional will be the best tool for you to use.

Professionals are trained to recognize things you don’t see and they have the tools to give you that will help you move forward in a healthy way.

In Conclusion

It’s no fun to be where you are, and somewhere down inside, you recognize this, which is why you searched and found this article today. Take some time to digest what you read here. Take my advice and get yourself a journal and start writing.

My best guess is that you’ll uncover a lot of useful information and you’ll be able to sort through some of this on your own, but don’t be afraid to seek professional help too!

Having an effective self-care routine is crucial to your daily peace and happiness, but many people falsely believe that self-care is simply taking a hot bath with a glass of wine and some candles.

There are so many other ways to enjoy a self-care routine and this book walks you through them, providing you with many choices on how you can implement a self-care routine into your schedule.

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How To Get Over A Guy You Never Really Dated

Build Confidence

Knowing how to get over a guy you never dated will help you move forward healthily. Just because he didn’t want to date you doesn’t mean your heart hurts any less, now that you know the possibility of a relationship is gone.

You may experience many of the same emotions you would if you’d experienced a breakup.

Feeling sad, disappointed, frustrated, rejected, confused, and fearful is valid. You might feel depressed and lost, all the while even feeling a little silly since you never actually were in a relationship with this guy.

While all your feelings are valid, I encourage you to stop feeling silly about your feelings for this guy. There’s nothing silly about it. You feel what you feel and it’s legit. Let’s focus instead on moving past this guy so you can find one who will want to be with you.

What You’ll Find Here:

Remove Him From His Pedestal
Don’t Deny Your Feelings
Keep a Journal
Make a List
Work on Your Confidence
Get and Stay Busy
End Contact with Him
Stop the Texting Anxiety
Stop Daydreaming About a Life with Him
Write it Down and Toss it Out
Stop Saying “It’s Just Bad Timing”
Stop Looking for Clues
Make Another List
Open Your Mind to the Possibility of Someone Else
Practice Self-Care
Refocus Your Energy
Allow Time to Heal Your Wounds
Wrap-up

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Remove Him from His Pedestal

When you crush on a guy, you put him on a pedestal. He’s the best at everything and he’s the perfect guy for you because of it.

It isn’t intentional, but it’s what we all do. When you place a man on a pedestal, you often fail to see his flaws and any cues that his interest isn’t being returned.

Instead, you see any snippet of attention from him as a sign that he is interested, rather than seeing the many cues that he isn’t.

We all tend to see the story that fits our narrative, rather than the truth when high emotions are at play.

Additionally, since you saw signs of his interest that weren’t really there, you also lack a feeling of closure on something you thought existed.

Did you imagine a life with him? Are you still fantasizing about turning his feelings around? Talking him into liking you maybe?

Eliminating these thoughts is part of removing him from his pedestal. Recognize that these aren’t facts, they’re fantasies. Holding out for the fantasy to come true will only keep you stuck in the rut you want to get out of.

Don’t Deny Your Feelings

If you’ve shared your situation with friends and family, they might not understand how real and valid your feelings are, but don’t let them minimize what you’re feeling.

Don’t deny those feelings or tell yourself you shouldn’t have them because you were not an official couple. Your pain is real. It’s never healthy to deny your feelings or try to shove them down.

Allow yourself time to feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, and anything else you feel. Reach out to your support network and tell them what it is you need from them. If you need a girls’ night, ask them to join you. If you need to sit and talk about it for a while, ask someone to lend an ear.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Keep a Journal

It can be helpful to journal about what you’re going through, especially if you aren’t a big talker or aren’t comfortable sharing this with anyone else.

Journaling helps with stress and anxiety as well as the challenges that come from both.

It also helps you move your thoughts and feelings from your brain onto paper and thus begin to alleviate the pain. It’s a great way to fully understand what you’re feeling, especially if you allow your thoughts to freely flow onto the paper.

Often, you surprise yourself with what comes out if you just allow things to flow. Keep this journaling space a judgment-free zone. Let the thoughts come, but don’t judge them as right or wrong.

Make a List

Once you’ve moved past the high emotions of the situation, it’s time to figure out what it is you want in a man and relationship.

One way to do this is to look at the good qualities of the men of your past. What about each guy attracted him to you? What did you like about him?

Divide a piece of paper into three columns and label each as follows: must-have qualities, preferences, and nice-to-have qualities. Be careful not to have the must-have column too large, as well as the nice-to-have qualities. A nice mix is great.

What you don’t want is a list of qualities that no man can have or a list that’s so broad, any old guy will do.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Work on Your Confidence

Breakups are always hard on your confidence. You blame yourself for all perceived mistakes, and so does he. Even in this instance, you might be hard on yourself for crushing on a guy who wasn’t truly available to you or interested in you.

This forces your confidence to dip, but you can rebuild it by following the steps here.

Look at that list of qualities you want in a man and work toward developing those qualities in yourself.

If you want a guy who is a hard worker, be a hard worker. If you want a guy who is kind and caring toward others, become that person.

We become attracted to people who are like us, so becoming a person like the one you want to have as a partner will draw that type of man to you. It will also place you in his path more directly.

Wanting a man who values volunteering means you should volunteer. Now you’re putting yourself in an environment where men are volunteering. Some are even available men!

To attract confident men, you must be a confident woman!

You're a Survivor!

Get and Stay Busy

A great way to distract your mind from things is to get busy. Rekindle a hobby or find a new one. Reconnect with your friends or make new friends. Find groups of people who are interested in the same things you are.

This is not something I just recommend to you because you’re mourning a lost love. This is something I recommend to everyone.

Having a hobby you love and friendships to carry you through keeps your life interesting and makes you more attractive.

It also helps you become someone’s beck-and-call girl. When a guy calls for a last-minute date, you can easily say, “Sorry Gregg, I have Yoga tonight. How about Thursday instead?” This makes his time with you more valuable. He must work for it. He needs to become a priority in your life. These are all good things.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | End Contact with Him

Unless you work with this guy, it’s time to end contact with him. Especially if you’re having a difficult time overcoming the mourning. Stop reading his social media accounts. Stop texting him. Quit looking for him behind every corner.

You’ll soon stop these behaviors if you get busy with your friends and hobbies. They’re a great way to distract yourself.

All you’re doing by maintaining contact is keeping an open wound. Each contact or look at what he’s up to picks off the scab and starts the healing all over again.

Stop the Texting Anxiety

At one point, you had a friendship that included texting and maybe a few phone calls, but now, you’re obsessing over him and he’s over you. Somewhere along the line, you went a little overboard and he quit replying to you.

So all you have left are the texts he sent before he stopped contacting you.

You pour over those old texts. Was there a hidden message that you missed? Didn’t the fact that he was texting you at all show that he was interested? And what about this phrase here? Isn’t that a sign that he was interested?

You’re still waiting for him to change his mind and reply to you. As I just said, you’re probably still texting him, hoping for a reply. It’s consuming your thoughts.

Your feelings are chipping away at your dignity and self-respect. It’s one thing to have a crush on someone, but it’s a whole other thing to be obsessing over a relationship that’s not going to happen. And somewhere inside, you know this, or you wouldn’t be reading this article right now.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Stop Daydreaming About a Life with Him

You’re attracted to him, and your mind wanders to what your life together would be like. You create a fantasy world in which he comes to your front door, kisses you when you open the door and sweeps you off on a fantasy date that is romantic and magical.

In other fantasies, you envision what your kids would look like, how he’ll wake up on Sunday mornings and make you French toast and strawberries.

You’ve built a life with a man who doesn’t want a life with you. Instead of having the real thing, which is out of reach, you envision a perfectly tailored fantasy life where he’s the perfect guy and you’re the perfect girlfriend and maybe even wife.

This has to stop. Your mind doesn’t understand the difference between fantasy and reality, so these feelings are very real in your brain. To move past caring for him, you must stop envisioning that perfect life with him. Your mind needs to stop thinking that this is a real relationship, and the only way to do that is to stop imagining it as one.

Write it Down and Toss it Out

In my book, He’s Gone, Now What, readers learn a technique that’s proven to help them overcome obsessive feelings about someone.

The first step is to either write a letter to him (that you’ll never send him) or just write your feelings on a piece of paper. Don’t use a journal because you’ll be destroying these pages later.

Take some time and make sure you get it all out. If you’re writing a letter to him, it’s a goodbye letter. Let him go.

If it’s feelings, get them all out. Write it all down and don’t judge what you write. It doesn’t need to be limited to one page or one day. Use as much paper and time as you need to get it all down. You’ll know when you’re done because you’ll feel better.

Once you have it written, it’s time to destroy it. You can either safely burn it, like in a fireplace or a fire pit, or you can shred it, tear it up, or otherwise destroy it. Just be safe.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Stop Saying “It’s Just Bad Timing”

By saying “It’s just bad timing,” you’re suggesting that there is a possibility of a relationship later. There isn’t. This has nothing to do with timing.

When the problem is bad timing, it sometimes resolves itself. You may excuse his disinterest by telling yourself he just got over a bad breakup. Okay, but how long ago was that? If it was more than a few weeks, it’s irrelevant.

You may also excuse his lack of interest as being due to too much distance between you, but people often make long-distance relationships work, so that isn’t a valid excuse either.

If he was the right man for you, those things would sort themselves out over time. The fact that he knows you exist, and you aren’t together tells you it’s more than just bad timing.

Stop Looking for Clues

“He liked my Instagram story! He must like me!” No. Maybe he just liked the story. Just because he isn’t crushing back doesn’t mean he isn’t a friend.

“But, he said…” No again. Your desire to have a relationship with him is causing you to read things into situations that aren’t really there.

By constantly checking on him and looking for clues that he might want to be more to you than just a friend, you’re staying stuck in the fantasy.

He might just be a nice guy who doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or who enjoys the amusing memes you post. It doesn’t automatically mean he wants a relationship.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to block and unfollow this guy on social media. All social media. No buts. Get him out of sight, and don’t go back and re-add him in a week. Let him go. He has other friends who post funny memes and he’ll survive without yours.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Make Another List

The first list was a list of qualities of all the men you’ve dated. This time, make a list of his good and bad qualities.

By listing his good qualities, you gain an understanding of what attracted you to him. Mesh this list with the good qualities of the other men in your life and see where the overlap is. Again, this is the type of guy you want to go after.

But you also need to make a list of his bad qualities. This goes back to taking him off his pedestal. Recognize that he’s not the all-powerful perfect male. He’s just a guy like every other guy. He has his flaws, which you’ve probably failed to see before.

If you struggle to make this list, get a friend or two involved. If nothing else, they’ll dump on him out of friendship for you. They know his bad qualities.

Open Your Mind to the Possibility of Someone Else

Right now, he is the only man for you. You can’t imagine yourself with any other guy, but as you take these steps, he should start to drift off that only guy for me list.

As he does, open your mind to the possibility that another guy is better for you than this guy. If you’re doing all, or even some of the things suggested in this article, you’re starting to see that Mr. Perfect isn’t perfect for you.

You should also be envisioning an as-yet faceless man who is perfect for you. He carries some of the good qualities you identified in your crush and men from your past. But he doesn’t carry too many of the negative qualities in those same men.

You’ll know when you’re ready to consider the possibility of another man. Then, you’ll be ready to get back out there, have a friend set you up, or create an online profile.

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | Practice Self-Care

Crushing over someone can take time and energy away from taking care of yourself. Self-care should never be cast aside. It’s an important part of what helps you build and maintain self-esteem and self-worth.

And it’s not selfish, as many women believe. Whether you only have yourself to take care of, elderly parents, or children, taking time out for self-care is a must. It helps you focus on loving and appreciating yourself.

Of course, it also just feels good and helps you destress and relax. It’s a nice way to reset after a bad day, week, or month.

You’ve spent a ton of time and energy on a guy who hasn’t reciprocated. Now, it’s time to put that time and energy into yourself for a change!

Refocus Your Energy

In the course of crushing on this guy, how far has your work ethic fallen? Have you been able to focus on any career goals you have, or did this crush sap all your energy?

Regain control of your life by refocusing on your goals. What is it you want out of life, other than a man (not that man)? What are your career goals? Where do you want to live? What kind of car do you want to get next?

Get back to working on things that have a positive meaning in your life. Show your boss you’re there to succeed. Start that new house savings account and maybe take a few classes in something.

It’s time to start living your life for you, not for a relationship that will never happen!

Allow Time to Heal Your Wounds

This won’t go away overnight. It will take time.

Recognize this and don’t get down on yourself when you have a slip-up. It will happen. You’ll be plugging along quite nicely, then something will remind you of him, and WHAM! You’re feeling that old pain again.

That’s okay. It happens. Let those feelings come, then let them go. Don’t stay with them. Feel them and allow them to pass.

Setbacks are part of life, like it or not, but it’s how you manage them that makes the difference.

You have a choice in how you react to everything in your life. Taking control of your emotions and your reactions is one more step to becoming a confident woman, and it’s that confident woman who will attract great men!

How to Get Over a Guy You Never Dated | That’s a Wrap!

I know you’re hurting right now, and I’m sorry. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your pain go away, but I can’t. The best I can do is give you sound advice and let you know that I’m here for you. Knowing how to get over a guy you never dated isn’t intuitive. If it was, I’d be out of a job.

You aren’t the first woman to go through this, and you won’t be the last. Since the beginning of time, women (and men) have gone through this very same situation and they all lived to tell about it.

Feel the pain. Work on taking the steps above, and work through it slowly. Each day, you’ll feel a little better than the day before. Soon, this whole crush thing will be a blip in your rear-view mirror.

If you're ready to move on from this relationship, you're ready for He's Gone, Now What? This book walks you through the many aspects of dealing with a breakup, even if you're the one who initiated the breakup. Regardless of who started it, as they say, your body becomes addicted to the chemicals associated with being in love. The withdrawal process is as daunting as the withdrawal from cocaine.

You'll also learn about the stages of grieving a relationship and how to begin moving forward. You'll walk through the steps of preparing yourself for dating again and gain an understanding of how you can do so in a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about the book here or you can purchase it by clicking one of the buttons below.

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Why Do Guys Ignore Me? 5 Guys Chime in with Your Answer

Build Confidence, Understand Men

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? 5 Guys Chime in with Your Answer

Sally emailed me and asked this: “Gregg, lately I have noticed that the last two guys I dated, one I liked and one I really didn’t, seemed to ignore me. I’m not a chaser and I didn’t do anything creepy to scare them off. Why do guys ignore me? -any thoughts?”

I decided to ask my personal male friends about this one and get their perspective.

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #1: He Is Trying To Play things Cool

We all agreed on this one. A guy will be hesitant to show his feelings for you, even though he likes you. Men are insecure too. A guy just hopes you will show him signs so he can reciprocate. What happens? You both think the other isn’t into you, so you each take this as rejection.

Another reason he may be trying to play it cool is because he may be experiencing emotions he’s uncomfortable with. He’s not really ignoring you – he’s processing these new emotions.

To move past this awkward stage, one of you needs to show clear interest. In the early stages of meeting a guy, I say go overboard so he gets it. Be that clingy girlfriend for a moment or two. Then, you can back off and let him pursue.

How To Crack The Code Of Men’s Feelings

Why is He Ignoring Me? Reason #2: His Ego Got Hurt

One negative statement can send a man off to his man cave! If you say something negative that pertains to his skills in the bedroom, physical features, lack of a good job, or motivation, it could send him reeling.

Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings?

Scold him and he will withdraw!

The funny thing is that you probably have no idea how easily a man’s feelings can be hurt. You don’t understand how fragile the male ego can be in these areas. You see men as being strong – they don’t get hurt like women do.

This is wrong. Men do get hurt and when they do, it takes them longer to recover because they aren’t comfortable processing those emotions. They don’t share these emotions with their male friends most of the time like you do.

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #3: I Thought She was Taken

My single friend, Glen came up with the answer to this question and we all agreed. When a man sees a woman with one man or a group of men, he assumes she is dating one of them.

You might think your flirting with him will tell him otherwise but the truth is that if you’re with another man, all other men in the room will think you’re trying to make the other guy jealous. He will ignore you and move on.

If you’re a woman who has a lot of male friends, forget meeting Mr. Right when you’re all out together. The best solution is to go out with your girlfriends and leave your guys friends on their own.

Body Language That Says He Likes You

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #4: I’m To Afraid I’ll Get Shot Down In Front Of My Friends

Guys fear rejection so they will ignore women

While we all laughed at this answer, it’s true! A guy will ignore you because of his insecurities around his friends. The last thing a man wants to do is approach a woman he finds attractive and get rejected – especially around his friends.

A man wants a sure bet. He needs to know that when he approaches you, you will not ignore him. To do this, make it obvious you like him by smiling, walking by him and leaving space near you so he can approach.

Men are not mind readers! What you think is obvious he thinks is directed to the guy next to him! Make it clear that you like him.

Men And Rejection

Why is He Ignoring Me? Reason #5: He Just Doesn’t Care About Your Shoes!

My friend Kevin was brutally honest – apologies to his wife if she’s reading! A man’s patience for listening to you talk about topics he doesn’t understand or care about is very limited.

I had an ex who went on and on about the shoes she bought and how the outfit matched the shoes and how the price was so great she just had to buy the whole deal. I couldn’t have cared less.

All I wanted her to do was wear the outfit and stop talking about it. I didn’t care that it all matched or that it was a great bargain.

A man cares that you look great but he doesn’t care how you got there. He wants to show off his great-looking girlfriend to his buddies, but he is clueless about matchy-matchy outfits.

8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women To Answer

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #6: He Got Jealous

When asked why he ignores his girlfriend, my friend Chris said it’s because he’s competitive. He doesn’t like to see other men flirting with his girlfriend. This is true of all men. While he wants other men to be jealous of him because he has the best girl in the room, he does not want to feel that jealousy himself!

What a man wants is for you to say, “Sorry but I already have a boyfriend” to the man who is flirting with her. An added bonus would be a kick in the groin, but he knows that you’re not going to do that.

At the same time, his jealousy tells you something important. Here are 15 Tell-Tale Signals To Tell You A Guy Likes You.

So Sally, I hope I have helped answer your question and you now have a better understanding of why guys ignore the women they like.

How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life

Build Confidence, Date Great Men

Are you ready to stop attracting losers? Are you tired of attracting the wrong kind of men? Do you find yourself in a cycle of unhealthy relationships with losers who don’t treat you well? If so, it’s time to take a step back and assess why you might be attracting these types of men.

The good news is that you have the power to change your situation. By changing your mindset, improving your life, and learning to recognize red flags, you can start attracting the great men you deserve. Today, I want to help you understand why you might be attracting losers. Then, I’ll give you some tips on how to change your mindset, improve your life, and find great men.

Why you attract losers

There are many reasons why you might be attracting losers. You might say these are the red flags men look for. Some of the most common reasons include the following.

Low self-esteem: You have low self-esteem and don’t think you deserve any better

If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re more likely to accept bad treatment from men. You may think that you don’t deserve to be with a good man, so you settle for less.

Men can smell low self-esteem from a mile away. Players are drawn to women with low self-esteem while great men won’t even approach. Without knowing it, you send out low self-esteem signals and all men see them.

Focused on the wrong thing: You are too focused on your looks and not enough on your personality.

Men are attracted to more than just a pretty face. They’re also attracted to women who are intelligent, funny, and kind. If you’re only focused on your appearance, you’re missing out on a lot of great men who could be interested in you.

Stop wearing the outfits that reveal too much. You may think that this is a great way to attract men, and it is, if you’re looking for a man who just wants to have sex with you. But, if you want to attract great men, leave something to the imagination. Let him wonder what’s under you