Getting Over a Guy You Liked But Never Dated Sucks!
Why is it so difficult to get over a guy you never actually had? At least breakups have reasons behind them. You didn’t get along. Your values weren’t the same or you grew apart.
But getting over a guy you liked but never really dated hurts. Why?
We take things personally and when people we like discard us, they drive a sword right through our self-esteem.
Isn’t that exactly how you feel? Discarded? Cast off?
This can be especially true if you got to know that person and you thought you made a great impression. You really thought things were clicking and he was into you.
You begin to feel like damaged goods. Your impression of the relationship was that you were a great match for one another but then, you find out you were wrong.
If you’re such a poor judge, why bother to try again?
You must be flawed in some way. Isn’t that how you feel right now?
You are wrong.
Here are a few ways to get over a guy you liked who flakes on you.
How to Get Over a Guy | Realize He Never Gave You A Chance
Look realistically at the time you spent together. How much time was it really? One date? Two dates with a hookup?
Did you just talk on the phone and text for two weeks or email back and forth online?
In that short amount of time, did he really get to know you?
If all your communication was through technology, he never even got to meet the real you.
Love takes time, infatuation takes minutes. To understand the difference is to begin to understand what really happened.
Recognize That You Never Got To Know Him
Take a moment now to be really honest with yourself. What is it that you truly liked about this guy? Was it his eyes or the way he stood out in the crowd?
Did he make you laugh or did his really buff body make you swoon?
That’s not enough to declare what you had was love. That’s attraction.
There could be multiple reasons for his behavior like:
- He was married, on a business trip and wanted a fling
- Your crush didn’t want kids and you told him you wanted a few
- He told you a ton of lies to make him look good and he knew he couldn’t ever see you again
The truth is you don’t know why he flaked on you but now, you’re starting to internalize it and that’s no good!
Ask Yourself – Did Things Click For Both Of You?
In the time you spent with him, things for you clicked. You felt attracted to him and wanted to see him more. For him, nothing clicked. He wasn’t attracted to you.
This doesn’t mean you’re ugly, too fat or anything else. It just means you’re not his type.
On more than one occasion, I’ve experienced this. A woman was totally into me for a reason I couldn’t understand.
She was attractive, and had I been single, I might have dated her. Something about me clicked for her.
I’m sure it’s happened to you as well. More than likely, you’ve experienced a time when a man was more into you than you were into him.
Chances are you might not really recall this because we tend to discard people from our memory bank if we’re not into them.
I’ve had many times where I was much more into a woman than she was with me. Sometimes they never even knew how into them I was because it wasn’t reciprocated.
When a relationship has potential, it’s because both parties are into one another. Things click for both of you! You can’t wait to see him again and the same goes for him.
This time realize that he wasn’t or couldn’t continue to see you and take solace in the fact that you have been in the same position.
Get Right Back Out There And Quickly Displace This Memory
If you really want to get over a guy you barely even dated, I’ll tell you the secret! It’s as simple as getting right back out there and finding a new guy.
Boot this last guy from your memory bank with fun new memories with a new guy.
Forget pouting and spending long nights wondering what went wrong. Stop blaming yourself and digging up all of your perceived flaws.
Pull yourself up by your sandal straps and get right back out there in the dating world.
Could the same thing happen again? Heck yeah, we fail and that’s fine! Chalk these experiences up to learning and move forward.
What Can You Change In the Future?
Look At First Dates Differently
Instead of looking at a first date as a chance to fall instantly in love, look at it as a fun expedition. You’re going to uncover new and uncharted territory.
You’re going to meet someone new who has a different perspective on life from yours. He may even be from a different culture.
The first few dates should be about having fun together doing things you enjoy. Just about the worst first date is sitting across the table from a stranger with dead air separating you.
Make first dates about going and doing exciting things. Go jetsking. Hit an amusement park. Go for a walk in a public park.
DO something that is fun. Even an informal pizza date is a better first date than a dinner at some swanky restaurant.
Now, he sees the real you and you get to vet him. This gives you a much better chance of never being in this position again.
This is your time to get to know one another. This is the time to observe how he treats other people. Learn who he is.
Watch his behavior when you’re alone versus when you’re around others. Is it the same?
Don’t Look For Milestones
Women date for milestones. When does he reach out to hold your hand? When does he lean in to kiss you? How soon does he take you to meet his mother?
Guys have no idea you’re looking for those milestones. We are simply living in the moment, getting to know you and having fun!
We are in chase mode.
You’re intriguing to us. You present two things we crave. Challenge and mystery.
Rather than stressing out when you’re on a date about whether or not he’ll kiss you or hold your hand, just go have fun! You’re missing out on the fun by setting yourself up for disappointment.
Those things don’t mean nearly as much to a guy as they do to you!
How to Get Over a Guy | Wrapping Up
The truth is that, while you were totally into him, for some reason, there was no mutual attraction. This doesn’t mean you’re flawed or broken in any way, don’t let this circumstance tell you things it shouldn’t.
Don’t let the evil voices in your head turn this into some big drama and failure on your part. It’s as simple as he wasn’t into you. Period. You did nothing wrong. You are not flawed.
Get yourself back out there and just have fun! Live in the moment and show him your crazy side. Not every man you meet will be Mr. Right but your odds increase significantly if you recover quicker and keep trying!