Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

Why is he texting me if he’s not interested? You’re here for that answer because it’s aggravating you and you’re confused. You met him and you like him, he’s texting you, but he still seems disinterested. He’s hot and cold, keeping you on the hook but not pulling the trigger. He texts, but he never asks you out. What gives?

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested? You’re Second Choice

The truth is he might have a regular girlfriend, but he’s found you and you make a good Plan B. If he’s already a little bored in his other relationship, he may be looking for alternatives.

He’s still considering whether he’ll stay in the old relationship or choose you instead, so he’s texting you even though he doesn’t have a plan.

He has options and he thinks he’s all set.

He Only Wants Sex

It’s possible he wants a friends-with-benefits relationship, at least for now. Very often when you’re left asking, why is he texting me if he’s not interested, this is the answer.

A man will have sex with a woman if he finds her the slightest bit attractive. This doesn’t mean he wants to marry her. In fact, a woman who will sleep with him too soon is often the furthest thing he wants as a long-term mate.

The woman he wants to make a commitment to has her act together and wouldn’t give in to sex too soon. I distinguish these two types of women in this way: rest stops and keepers. The rest stops are the women men date to have sex with. They’re the women men date until they find the keeper. The keeper is a woman who is confident, has a good job, is financially sound, and challenges him.

Obviously, you want to be a keeper. If you fear you’re a rest stop, there are ways to change.

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested

He’s Lonely

It’s possible that the answer to why is he texting me if he’s not interested is that he’s lonely. He may just be looking for someone to fill the gaps and ease his loneliness. If this is the case, one of these scenarios is probably the reason:

  • He just moved to the area and doesn’t know anyone
  • He just got out of a relationship
  • The two of you just broke up
  • He has a crush on another woman who won’t give him the time of day

Loneliness sucks, so having a friend to talk to can be a nice way to feel a little better. It’s possible your relationship could turn into something more, but he might be hurting right now and just needs a friend. If you’re fine being his friend, it’s all good.

Sometimes people click via text. This is especially true if you met him online and haven’t met yet, or you’ve met once or twice but there was no obvious chemistry.

The attraction is in the banter. You seem to gel conversationally, but in person, everything falls flat. You might be a laugh riot in text and he’s fully entertained by these conversations.

If you want this guy to get serious, back off on being so entertaining. Make him see you in person to discover your witty banter and be entertained.

He’s a Player

I almost hate to bring this up because it’s a yucky answer to the question of why is he texting me if he’s not interested.

Some guys are players and the only reason they’re showing interest in you is that you can better their lives in some way. Usually, it’s with sex, but sometimes it’s status. You have a good job and therefore increase his social status, or you drive an expensive car, again increasing his social status.

Chances are you’re not the only female he’s engaging with right now. There are probably several others. He’ll text you for a while, then he’ll ghost you and turn up again a few weeks

He found someone else who was offering him more than you were, but she figured out his games and left, or her usefulness in his life diminished. Either way, this guy isn’t worth your time and energy.

Oh the Mysterious Ways of Men!

There's no way for a woman to know intuitively what to expect from a man. That's why I'm here! There are many differences between men and women and this article shows you a few. But there are others. Click the button below to read those articles too!

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Insecure

Players lack confidence. That’s why they’re attracted to women with low confidence. They exude confidence, but their confidence is strictly in their ability to get into your pants because they’ve practiced it a lot.

A man who is insecure might not be a player. He could be inexperienced with women, or he might not feel that he’s lovable. He could also fear rejection, so a good move for you may be to ask him out.

Show him you’re interested in him and boost his ego a bit. If you like him and you want to see where it can go, take the chance. If he still says no, it might be time to cut him loose.

His Ego Needs a Boost

It’s possible that when he’s with you, he gets an ego boost. Around his friends, he’s a schmuck, but when he has a beautiful woman or a woman who improves his social status, his ego gets a boost.

His self-esteem isn’t that high, but when he’s with you, he feels better about himself. He was able to snag a beautiful woman. Woohoo. In his mind, this says he can get any woman he wants, or at least he wants people to think that.

why is he texting me if he's not interested

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Not Sure What He Wants

This guy is probably afraid of a commitment. This type of guy wants you in his life, but he’s scared to death that you’ll want more than he can offer.

Because he really does like you and probably wants a relationship with you, he keeps texting you. This is his way of maintaining a connection and keeping you on the hook.

He’s so fearful of commitment, but at the same time, so attracted to you.

This is a huge conflict for a man, and he might not understand the reason for his inability to commit.

He’s Bored

He hasn’t texted you for weeks, if not months, then he starts again. You’re boggled and wondering why is he texting me if he’s not interested. He probably has a lame excuse for his absence in your life, but he realized how much he misses you.

This is all a bunch of garbage. He’s feeding you the lines he thinks will work to enable you to forgive him and keep talking to him.

The reason he was gone is that he found someone else. The reason he is back is that she left him because she figured out he wasn’t going to commit.

You don’t need to be any man’s boredom buster. You can do better!

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested? He Likes the Attention

This guy has an overwhelming need to feel admired and wanted, but it isn’t so overwhelming that he wants to make a commitment to you.

All he wants is your attention. He just needs to feel that he’s desirable. You probably text him more than he texts you. You reply with longer texts while he gives back the bare minimum.

The best way to handle this is to slow down how often and how much you reply. Give less entertaining texts and reduce the engaging replies you send.

He’s Just out of a Relationship

This is kind of like dealing with a man who’s lonely, except this guy has baggage to unload. His wounds are fresh and while he likes the attention he’s receiving from you, you’re just filling in a gap for him.

He really misses his ex, whether he realizes it or not, and your texts are keeping him going while he sorts through the breakup.

This guy is a mess inside. Whether he broke up with her or vice versa, he has a lot of stuff to deal with. Getting into a relationship with a guy who just ended another one is never a good idea.

why is he texting me if he's not interested

He’s a Shy Guy

People who are shy are often misunderstood. They’re perceived as being snobby or standoffish when they’re not. They’re simply not outwardly comfortable.

Texting is safe for a shy guy. He doesn’t have to risk rejection if he’s only texting you.

Texting is his safety net. He feels more comfortable tapping out a conversation than having one with you in person.

If your guy is a shy guy, you can ask him out. This increases his security because he now feels there’s less of a chance of rejection. As he gets to know you, he’ll come out of his shell, if you accept him for who he is and don’t push him too far too fast.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Worried About the Opinions of Others

He’s texting you because he likes you, but there’s a roadblock in advancing your relationship. He’s worried about what others will think.

This worry might come from how you met. Some folks don’t like to admit they met online while others worry about meeting at a place they don’t want to admit to, like a bar or club.

Another reason he might be afraid of other people’s opinions is if there’s an age discrepancy or you’re ethnically different. I once coached a woman whose husband was from Jamaica. Her family was from Portugal and not very accepting of not only racial differences but people from other countries.

Even though they both lived in the U.S., her family still held these beliefs. Under those circumstances, it would be difficult to share a love interest.

He’s Unsure of What You Want

Somewhere along the way, women were taught to be coy and elusive with men. This isn’t helpful because men don’t pick up on cues very well. Men need you to be a straight-shooter.

If he’s confused about what you want from the relationship, he’ll hold back to avoid rejection.

Being coy and elusive sends him mixed messages. One minute, you seem to be interested in him, then you spend a lot of time being aloof or vague.

It’s fine to be aloof with a guy if he loses interest or seems to be going rogue, but otherwise, don’t play games like that. Men are simply clueless to the whole thing and the message you’re trying to send is lost.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s a Dating Rookie

Some men, especially young men, have limited dating experience. Even a man whose first relationship started when he was young but lasted a long time will be inexperienced.

He might not really know how to behave in a dating relationship. This doesn’t make him undesirable; it just makes him unsure of how to proceed.

Be patient with this type of man. He wants to date you, but he’s unsure of what his next move should be. You may need to guide this relationship a little and help him out. Provide him with obvious cues as to what you want.

“Hey, let’s go to a movie this weekend.” This way, he has come ideas of what to do next time.

While I encourage patience, don’t wait too long for this guy to get his dating sea legs. He should start to figure it out after a while. The guy who doesn’t probably needs to practice on someone else.

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

How can you handle a guy who texts but seems disinterested? A lot of that answer depends on the reason for his actions. If he’s a player or using you for status or boredom busting, it’s time to exit the relationship. Although that’s not even right because you don’t really have a relationship with this type of guy.

If his issue is his own lack of security or confidence, you can try being patient with him. Guide him along and let him know you’re interested in him. Make the first move and see if he improves with time. If he doesn’t, you’re best off cutting your losses, but if he does, you’ve probably won yourself a loyal man.

You should be able to have an honest discussion with him about how you feel. Don’t be accusatory but let him know how his actions are impacting you. This won’t work for a player or a guy who’s using you for some reason that only positively impacts him. It will work for a guy who’s struggling with his emotions and insecurities.

Use “I” language. It’s much harder to dispute someone’s statement if it’s an “I” statement. For example, “Gregg, I feel like you want to do things together, but you never ask. It makes me feel as if you don’t really want to be with me.”

If you exit the situation and he’s not a player or a user, he may come to realize the loss of you in his life. In that instance, he might discover that he wants you back and will make a better effort to win you back.

Conclusion

The bottom line is that you deserve a guy who can pay attention to you and be there for you. If the guy you’re texting with right now isn’t that guy, it may be time to move on.

If a guy is texting you but doesn’t seem otherwise interested in dating you, the choice is yours on how to proceed.

Just make sure you don’t stay out of fear of being alone. Stay because you believe he has the potential to be a better guy and you want to see where it can go.

If you find that you’re in this situation too frequently, it might be time to try Riding Solo for a while.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Women often face relationship challenges that are both common and unique. One of these challenges is communication. Many women struggle with expressing needs, desires, and concerns effectively to their partners, which leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of emotional connection. 

Another common relationship challenge is maintaining a healthy balance between your own needs and the needs of your partner. Women often find themselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, such as being a partner, a mother, a professional, and a caregiver, resulting in neglecting your own self-care and personal fulfillment. Prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries helps you avoid burnout and maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

Trust issues can also be a significant challenge in relationships. Past experiences of betrayal or heartbreak make it difficult to fully trust your partner, which then leads to insecurity, jealousy, and a constant need for reassurance. Building trust takes time and effort from both partners, and it is important to work on healing past wounds and developing trust in order to have a fulfilling and secure relationship.

Another challenge is navigating power dynamics within relationships. Society often places certain expectations on women, such as being submissive or accommodating which can lead to imbalanced power dynamics where women may feel their needs and desires are not valued or respected. It is important to assert your boundaries, communicate your needs, and strive for equality within your relationships.

Lastly, a common challenge is maintaining your own identity and independence. Women may sometimes feel pressured to prioritize your partner’s needs and sacrifice your own dreams and aspirations. It is important to remember that you are an individual with your own goals and passions. Balancing personal growth and maintaining a sense of self within a relationship is essential for long-term happiness and fulfillment.

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Free Relationship Advice: Unleash the Power of Communication in Your Relationships

There’s no tool more powerful in a relationship than effective communication. Yes, you just read a bit on this, but let’s take a moment to really understand why communication holds such significance.

Imagine this: Your partner comes home late from work, and you’re feeling neglected. Instead of expressing your feelings, you keep quiet, fueling an atmosphere of tension. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably time to reassess your communication strategy.

How do you unleash the power of communication in your relationship?

  1. Express – Don’t bottle up your feelings. Communicate openly with your partner about what’s bothering you. The key here is to use “I” statements instead of the blaming “you”. For instance: “I feel ignored when you come late regularly” instead of “You never care about my feelings”.
  2. Listen – A big part of communication is not just talking, but truly listening. Pay attention to what your partner is saying. React and respond to his thoughts and feelings to indicate that you value his emotions and opinions.
  3. Clarify – If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification. Never assume or interpret your partner’s feelings on your own. Misinterpretations can often lead to unnecessary conflicts.
  4. Be Constructive – It’s essential to communicate constructively. Emphasize on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Frame your criticisms or suggestions in a helpful way.

These may sound too simple, but in the heat of the moment, even the simplest principles are forgotten. Practice these until they become a part of your regular communication habit. Effective communication is a skill that can be improved with patience and persistence.

Like any skill, it’s going to take time to improve your communication, so, don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get everything right immediately.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together… is communication.” – Bernard Kelvin Clive

Mastering the Art of Active Listening in Your Relationship

One of the most important and often overlooked skills for any relationship is active listening. Most think they’re good listeners, but are you really hearing what your partner is saying? Do you understand his feelings, thoughts, fears, and dreams as he expresses them? Active listening goes beyond merely hearing the words. It involves showing empathy and understanding, acknowledging his perspective, and reacting appropriately.

Active listening is a skill that can transform your relationship. It’s all about giving undivided attention to your partner, showing understanding, and demonstrating sincere interest and concern. It’s not merely about the words he’s saying, but also the non-verbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

How can you be an active listener?

  1. Listen with empathy: Tune into your partner’s feelings and confirm your understanding.
  2. Use affirming body language: Sit facing your partner, maintain eye contact, and use nonverbal cues such as nodding to show you’re engaged.
  3. Avoid interrupting: Allow your partner to fully express his thoughts and feelings before you respond.
  4. Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to share more about his experience by asking questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.
  5. Paraphrase and reflect: Restate what he said in your own words to confirm that you understood him.
  6. Validate feelings: Even if you disagree with your partner, recognize his feelings as valid and important.

Remember: The goal of active listening isn’t to prepare your responses while your partner is talking, but to truly understand and empathize with their perspective.

Active listening creates a deep connection with your partner. It strengthens your bond, improves trust, and fosters a caring and understanding relationship. It might take a little practice to break old habits and improve your active listening skills, but the payoff in your relationship is well worth the effort!

Free Relationship Advice: Develop the Art of Effective Conflict Resolution

No matter who you are or how perfect your relationship seems, disagreements are inevitable. However, it’s how you handle these conflicts that truly matters.

Ever had an argument spiral out of control until you can’t remember what you’re fighting about? By embracing effective methods of conflict resolution, you can transform these situations into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

1. Listen First, Respond Later: Understanding the other person’s perspective before dropping your thoughts, and listening to his point of view helps him know his opinions are valued and builds a strong foundation for a fair resolution.

Remember: Listening doesn’t mean you agree, but shows respect for one other’s feelings and perspectives.

2. Use ‘I’ Statements Instead of ‘You’ Statements: When expressing your feelings, start sentences with “I” instead of “You”, thus taking the blame off your partner and minimizing defensive reactions.

For instance, replace “You never help with the chores” with “I feel overwhelmed when I manage the chores alone”.

3. Practice Active-Responsiveness: Acknowledging what your partner says is also important. Simple actions like nodding, using assurances like “I understand” and clarifying when necessary helps him feel understood and appreciated.

4. Keep It to the Point: During disagreements, it’s easy to sink to a blame game or bring up past issues. Focus on and discuss only the issue at hand until a resolution is found.

5. Seek to Find a Win-Win Resolution: Aim for resolutions that satisfy both partners, even if this means compromising a little. Resolutions should feel fair and mutually beneficial.

Understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution techniques can transform your relationship dynamics for the better. You’ll notice improved communication, mutual respect and, ultimately, a healthier relationship.

Remember: Conflict is inevitable but fighting isn’t. How you handle the disagreement is what matters.

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Finding Balance: Juggling Career and Relationships

We live in a world where there’s always something to do, something more to achieve. Finding the perfect balance between career and relationships might feel like a Herculean task. Trust me, it’s not about dividing your hours in a mathematical sequence but more about finding equilibrium and mutual understanding. How can you navigate this complex journey?

First,  you don’t have to do everything at once; put energy into what matters most. List tasks and goals and order them according by importance, focusing on the crucial ones. A well-prioritized life equals a balanced life.

  • Communicate: Open and honest communication solves many problems. Speak with your partner about your aspirations and pressures. Help him understand your ambitions and ask him to work with you in balancing professional and personal commitments.
  • Set boundaries: Clear boundaries separate your work life from your personal life. Leave work at work. Use your off-work time to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones.
  • Self-Care: Don’t forget about taking care of your own needs. Practice mental, physical, and emotional self-care. Exercising, maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness can do wonders for your well-being and positively impact your relationships and career.

Here’s an example:

Start the day with a mindful coffee intake, updating your partner about your day and setting clear workspace delineation if you’re working from home. Take a mid-afternoon workout break and cap the day off by leaving your laptop at work and taking a walk with your loved one.

Balancing a career and relationship can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Never be too hard on yourself as everyone’s balance is different. Try to live in the present moment, appreciate small victories, and enjoy the process. Now, go ahead and juggle away!

Free Relationship Advice: Create Healthy Boundaries for a Happier Relationship

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in a relationship is critical for mutual respect and emotional stability. When boundaries are defined, you and your partner understand each other’s needs, desires, and limitations. It prevents unnecessary stress, arguments, and resentment in the long run. Here’s how:

  1. Explicit Communication: Openly discuss what is comfortable and tolerable for both of you. Don’t leave it to assumptions or vague expressions.
  2. Say a Firm ‘Yes’ or ‘No’: Be able to express yes or no without hesitation or guilt. No one has the right to question or overrule your decisions. Recognizing your own feelings is vital to setting boundaries.
  3. Understanding Emotional Boundaries: Respect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It’s crucial to understand that one’s emotional space shouldn’t be violated.

Remember, boundaries are adjustable. You’re both individuals with evolving needs and wishes. Keep the conversation open and respectful. Here are some examples of healthy emotional boundaries:

Boundaries Explanation
Respecting Personal Space Recognize and respect each other’s need for solitude or time away.
Time Management Avoid the tendency to be overly dominating or submissive with each other’s time.
Limitations on Personal history disclosure Respect each other’s decision to share or withhold personal history or experiences.

Remember, ‘Your rights end where my nose begins’. This saying underlines the importance of respecting each other’s boundaries for a harmonious relationship.

“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” – Christine Morgan

By creating these boundaries, you’re showing your partner the respect he deserves and setting an expectation for how you wish to be treated. It promotes an atmosphere of mutual respect, understanding, and love, creating a healthier and happier relationship.

Understanding the Importance of Self-Love in a Relationship

Self-love is valuing your own happiness and well-being, understanding your worth and not compromising it for anything or anyone. Why is it important in a relationship?

Loving yourself sets a standard for how you allow others to treat you. You set boundaries, you assert your needs, and you don’t settle for less. Self-love isn’t about being self-centered. It’s about maintaining your individuality even in a relationship while continuing to flourish and grow as an individual, and that individual growth contributes to the growth of your relationship.

A common misconception is that self-love might lead to a ‘me-first’ attitude and create conflicts in a relationship. But here’s the fascinating part: when you love yourself, you’re better able to love others. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re emotionally empty or not fulfilled from within, it’s difficult to contribute positively to the relationship.

“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” – Jane Travis

So, how do you cultivate self-love?

  1. Understand your worth: Know you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness. You don’t have to settle for anything less.
  2. Accept your flaws: None of us is perfect. Embrace your imperfections. They make you unique.
  3. Care for your physical health: Exercising, eating healthy, and maintaining good hygiene aren’t just about looking good. They showcase a respect for your own body.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. Learn from them instead of beating yourself up.
  5. Nurture your inner growth: Invest in activities that help you grow – learn a new skill, walk in nature, meditate, or join a hobby class.

Remember, it’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority—it’s necessary. In the end, a healthy relationship is composed of two healthy individuals.

The Role of Trust and Honesty in a Successful Partnership

Trust and honesty form the backbone of any successful relationship. Without them, your partnership can feel insecure, unstable, and strained. But cultivating these essential elements isn’t always as straightforward as it might seem.

Transparency breeds trust. When each partner is open, honest and genuine with their feelings and intentions, it forms a secure foundation. You aren’t left guessing whether your partner’s actions match their words – because their openness makes it apparent.

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” – Wm. Paul Young

Practicing honesty also calls for courage. It means dealing squarely with tough topics instead of sidestepping them. It’s about voicing concerns, confessing mistakes, and discussing sensitive topics – no small feat, but well worth the effort.

Building Trust and Honesty in Your Relationship

So, how do we create an environment of trust and honesty? Glad you asked! Here are some key steps:

  1. Communicate openly and often: Share your feelings, fears, ambitions, and uncertainties. This isn’t a one-off conversation, but a continuous process that requires patience and practice.
  2. Show vulnerability: Let your guard down and allow your partner to see the ‘real’ you. This can be remarkably bonding, fostering both empathy and intimacy.
  3. Set clear expectations: Outline your relationship goals and values early on. Make sure you both understand, agree, and are willing to work towards the same objectives.
  4. Follow through: Consistent actions that reflect your words endorse your integrity and authenticity, improving his confidence in you.

Rebuilding Trust and Honesty

But what if trust has been eroded? Is it possible to rebuild it? Yes! Broken trust doesn’t mean a broken relationship, but it certainly means investing time and energy in repair.

  • Talk it out: Whenever trust is broken, direct conversation is crucial. Understand what went wrong and how it made each partner feel.
  • Apologize genuinely: An apology is the first step towards mending mistrust. Ensure it’s sincere and reflects your understanding of the mistake.
  • Take responsibility: Admitting your mistake and committing to avoid repeating it, displays your willingness to change for the betterment of the relationship.
  • Give it time: Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort. It demands constant reassurances and concrete actions that reflect change.

Trust and honesty are not just essential, they’re fundamental to a healthy, loving relationship. Cultivating and maintaining them, essentially, guarantees a strong, fulfilling partnership.

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Exploring the Power Dynamics in Relationships: Equality vs. Traditional Roles

Power dynamics play a pivotal role in relationships. Often, one partner takes the lead in certain aspects, while the other takes a backseat. It’s perfectly normal, and when balanced, leads to a harmonious relationship.

The trick is finding balance, and that’s where the idea of traditional roles and equality comes in. In the traditional setup, one partner is the decision maker, while the other is more subservient. However, the world is rapidly changing and many relationships now follow a paradigm of equality, where both partners share power and make decisions together.

The dynamic you choose depends on your personal preferences, upbringing, and beliefs. Regardless of the power dynamic you prefer, the key is to maintain respect. Each partner’s views, feelings, and needs have to be considered equally.

For those who lean toward an equal power dynamic, here are some tips:

  • Keep open lines of communication in place to express your expectations and needs.
  • Ensure both partners equally contribute in making decisions to prevent one person from feeling overpowered or dismissed.
  • Respect your partner’s viewpoint even if it’s not in line with yours.
  • Share responsibilities. Whether it’s finances, household chores, or parenting, make it a team effort.

On the other hand, if you relate to traditional roles, it doesn’t mean there’s a power imbalance. To ensure the ‘leading’ partner doesn’t breach the respect threshold, try these ideas:

  1. Ensure the leadership role doesn’t translate into authoritative behavior.
  2. Consider both people’s opinions when making decisions.
  3. Value the supportive parther’s role without undermining it.
  4. Encourage and appreciate one another’s contributions.

Remember, a relationship is a partnership where you support each other, learn and grow together. Whether you prefer traditional roles or equality, the respect and understanding between the two of you should be the building blocks of your relationship.

Free Relationship Advice: Adapt to Transitions in Your Relationship

Change is the one constant in life that we can always expect. But what about when change infiltrates your relationship? Transitions are inevitable, from changes in jobs, moving to a new city, or even shifts in personal growth. Navigating these altering waves not only tests the integrity of your relationship but provides a unique opportunity to deepen your bond and impress new strengths into your partnership.

But here’s the catch – change can be hard. It can challenge long-established dynamics and routines. It forces us into unfamiliar territories and sometimes, that can be downright uncomfortable. So, how do you ride this wave together rather than allowing it to drive a wedge between you?

Hint: It’s all about acceptance, adaptation, and mutual support.

First, embracing change starts with acceptance. In the face of a transition, it’s easy to resist or deny it. But truthfully, this only makes the process harder. Acceptance isn’t about surrendering or giving up, rather it’s about acknowledging the reality, understanding that it’s okay to feel unsure, and embarking on this journey with an open mind.

Adapting with Change

Then comes adaptation. Life doesn’t come with a manual, so there’s no perfect recipe for navigating change. However, flexibility in attitude, mindset, and actions can make the process more manageable. It involves stepping out of your comfort zone, trying out new routines, and making adjustments as necessary. Remember, adaptation is a journey not a destination. Don’t rush the process, give each other ample space and time to adjust.

  • Mutual support is your lifeline: It’s these times when you truly need each other. Your relationship can be your support network, your safe haven from the storm of change. Encourage each other, have patience, and check in frequently with each other’s emotions and thoughts.
  • Proactive communication is key: Dialogue can significantly ease the adaptation process. Ensure to keep lines of communication open. Express your concerns, hopes and expectations regarding the change.
  • Consider seeking professional help: If change seems overwhelming, there’s no harm in seeking external guidance from a relationship counselor or coach. They can provide strategies to cope with change and reinforce your relationship’s resilience.

A relationship that can embrace change and come out even stronger is a testament to the bond you share. Transitions, after all, are another chapter in your shared story, a chance to grow together and deepen your understanding of each other. So, navigate these changing tides together, and remember – the only way to get through change is to go through it, hand in hand.

The Role of Independence in a Healthy Relationship

Independence, with a focus on personal space and freedom, plays a dynamic role in any healthy relationship.

Understanding Independence in a Relationship

What does it mean to be independent in a relationship? Fundamentally, it refers to the idea that you and your partner are not dependent or overly reliant on each other to feel complete or fulfilled. Instead, you see yourselves as two individuals with your own distinct identities, interests, ambitions, and abilities, while at the same time, maintaining a commitment to share your lives together.

Maintaining independence doesn’t diminish the love in the relationship; instead, it enriches it by fostering mutual respect and appreciation. Each person can stand alone but chooses to stand together – that’s the beauty of independence in a strong bond.

Remember, the strength of a relationship doesn’t come from the ‘need’ of each other; it comes from the ‘want’ for each other.

Why Does Independence Matter in a Relationship?

Independence in a relationship matters for several reasons:

  1. It facilitates personal growth: Independence allows both parties in a relationship to continue developing their identity and enrich their individual lives.
  2. It encourages healthy dependency: Independence fosters a balanced level of dependency where both are supportive without being excessively reliant on each other.
  3. It reduces pressure and strain: By being independent, couples can effectively manage their expectations, significantly reducing unnecessary pressure, conflict, and disappointment.
  4. It cultivates respect and understanding: Recognizing and respecting each other’s independence fosters deeper understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities each person brings into the relationship.
  5. It promotes longevity: Relationships often thrive when both partners maintain a sense of self, leading to a more rewarding, genuine, and long-lasting partnership.

How to Foster Independence in Your Relationship

Here’s how to foster independence in your relationship:

  • Have personal goals and pursue them: Don’t lose sight of your personal aspirations just because you are in a relationship.
  • Enjoy personal time: Spend some time doing things you love alone or with other friends. This helps maintain your identity outside of your relationship.
  • Encourage and support your partner’s interests: It’s important to show interest and encourage your partner to pursue their passions and hobbies.
  • Practice effective communication: Talk about your need for independence in a gentle and understanding way with your partner.

The role of independence in a healthy relationship is quintessential. It doesn’t signify a lack of love, but rather affirms it. It’s about co-existence, not co-dependence. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch your relationship thrive.

Free Relationship Advice for Women: Wrapping Up

This journey through world of relationships has led to many revelations from learning to communicate effectively, mastering active listening, navigating conflicts maturely, to understanding the importance of self-love, trust, and honesty. We dug into what makes a relationship successful.

As part of my free relationship advice, let’s pause and remember the key takeaways presented here:

  • Keep communication open and honest: Be open-minded, and truthfully express your feelings and concerns to your partner.
  • Active Listening is key: Consider and give real attention to his words, demonstrating interest and empathy.
  • Facing Conflicts with Maturity: Realize that disagreements are natural and the approach of resolving them amicably strengthens the bond.
  • Balance work and love life: Juggling career and relationships is not easy, yet essential. Prioritize your time and effort in order to maintain a balance.
  • Set healthy boundaries: Develop boundaries in your relationship that protect and honor your individuality.
  • Embrace self-love: Understand the value of loving yourself first. It will empower you, bringing positive vibes into the relationship.
  • Trust and Honesty: These are fundamental to the backbone of a successful partnership. Foster transparency and cultivate trust in your relationship.
  • Equality matters: Advocate for equality in your relationship to ensure mutual respect, shared responsibilities, and power dynamics and build a healthier and happier partnership.
  • Embrace change and adapt: Changes are inevitable, and adapting to them will prepare your relationship for long term stability.
  • Honor Independence: Encourage individual interests and activities. A healthy dose of independence enhances mutual growth and respect.

A strong and meaningful relationship involves two individuals who understand, respect, and love each other’s uniquenesses. Be ready to put hard work, dedication, and a lot of love into your relationships. Through this, you will pave the path for a robust romantic relationship and build strong bonds in every facet of your life.

Do you still need free relationship advice? Click the image below.

free relationship advice
NSA Relationship? Here are 8 Reasons you Might Want One

NSA Relationship? Here are 8 Reasons you Might Want One

What are NSA Relationships?

NSA Relationships are relationships with no strings attached. This type of relationship is usually sexual in nature with no underlying current of romance. It’s the most casual relationship and differs from a friends-with-benefits relationship.

There isn’t a prior friendship in NSA relationships, or there shouldn’t be.

In a friends-with-benefits or FWB relationship, you’re friends who decide to try having sex together. In both instances, you aren’t seeking a romantic relationship, just sex. The friendship in an FWB relationship is often deep, and there is mutual respect between partners.

In This Article

Are NSA Relationships Right for Everyone?

Are You Ready for an NSA Relationship?

Characteristics of an NSA Relationship

Who Should You Choose to be in an NSA Relationship with?

The Negatives of NSA Relationships

The “Rules” of an NSA Relationship

When is it Time to Move On?

NSA relationship

Are NSA Relationships Right for Everyone?

There are many pros and cons to pursuing NSA relationships; no, NSA relationships aren’t suitable for everyone.

This type of relationship fulfills one of your needs – sex, but not another – love. If you’re looking for love, this isn’t your type of relationship. In the content below, you’ll further explore the pros and cons of making your own decision.

I can’t tell you whether this relationship is good for you. Only you can decide.

Are You Ready for an NSA Relationship?

This might be why you’ve sought out this article, so let’s get that answer. A few criteria help you know if you’re ready for an NSA relationship.

1. You’re Willing to Put Your Sexual Health First

In today’s sexual climate, putting your sexual health first is essential, and that doesn’t change when NSA relationships.

You don’t know your partner or his sexual history, so you must be mindful of safe sex. Use condoms to prevent the transfer of any sexually transmitted diseases. Have a conversation with him about STDs, STIs, and birth control.

In addition to condoms, it’s wise to have your own form of birth control. Nothing is 100% foolproof, so having a backup plan seems wise. Think of it this way. The condom prevents disease transmission, while birth control prevents unwanted pregnancies.

2. You Go into an NSA Relationship with Honesty

Regardless of what type of relationship you have, honesty is the best way to begin. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about what type of relationship this is.

When you tell a guy you only want an NSA relationship, he’s counting on that being the case throughout your time together.

Yes, it’s possible to develop feelings for someone, but be aware that he may not share your feelings or change his desire for a relationship.

Be honest about whether you can go into something like this and not become emotionally attached. If you don’t think you can avoid the attachment, NSA relationships probably aren’t for you.

3. You Want NSA Relationships to Help You Explore Your Sexuality

When you’re in a meaningful relationship with the man of your dreams, he’ll appreciate you knowing yourself sexually.

Most men fear not being able to help their women reach climax, but if you don’t know what gets you off, you won’t be able to guide him appropriately.

If you pursue NSA relationships for a while, you can play around sexually and discover what you like and dislike. You might find that you like things a little kinky, or you may realize that you prefer a pretty vanilla sex life.

There’s nothing wrong with either, as long as that’s what you want.

4. You’re Too Busy for a Committed Relationship

Many women are career-driven and too busy for a committed relationship. You spend all day at work, then come home and walk the dog before changing clothes to go to the gym. You come home, cook dinner, and clean up; by the time that is done; you’re exhausted.

Who has time for a man?

There’s nothing wrong with being in a career mindset. I commend you if you feel this way. You’re avoiding the ultimate demise of a relationship that requires more of your time and attention.

At some point, you’ll change your focus and desire for that committed relationship, but meanwhile, an NSA relationship might be all you need.

5. You Know Yourself and What You Need

Some women want and maybe even need the cuddling, the formal dates, the late-night chats on the phone, and all the other things that come with a relationship.

If you want that guy, you can call when everything seems wrong, an NSA relationship isn’t for you.

But, if you think you want some casual hookups without the attachments and you’re sure you can handle it, go for it!

6. You’re Able to Manage Your Emotions

If you’re a jealous type, an NSA relationship might not be for you. There is no commitment when you’re in NSA relationships, so both of you can explore other relationships.

This can easily lead to jealousy if you aren’t careful.

If you think jealousy could be an issue, don’t worry. It’s normal, and it’s okay, but stay away from NSA relationships, or you’ll find yourself getting hurt.

The other way your emotions can get the better of you is if you get into an NSA relationship and decide it’s not for you. That’s fine.

Remember, you have no commitment to this man or men. The whole reason you got into this was to avoid commitment. If you decide you don’t want to explore an NSA relationship any longer, get out.

But, don’t allow your emotions to keep you in for fear of hurting his feelings. He’s in this to avoid feeling anything too heavy. He won’t mind. Chances are pretty good that he has other women.

NSA Relationships

Characteristics of NSA Relationships

There are some things all NSA relationships have in common. Take some time to explore things you haven’t yet considered.

How Long do Typical NSA Relationships Last?

Most relationships of this type last a few months. Of course, this is up to you and your partner, but if you’re just in it for sexual exploration and variety, you won’t want to stay with anyone for too long.

Is There an Emotional Connection?

As you previously read, NSA relationships are devoid of emotional connections. It’s one of the perks if you want to look at it that way.

Once you develop an emotional connection, you’re sliding into relationship territory, and that honesty thing needs to happen.

While there is a possibility that your guy will feel an emotional connection too, both of you got in this NSA relationship to avoid that, so a heart-to-heart conversation is a must. If the connection is one-sided, it’s time to get out.

Can I Rely on Him for Financial Help?

I encourage all women to be financially stable before entering any relationship. If you’re looking for a sugar daddy, that’s a different type of relationship.

In an NSA relationship, you should never expect financial support from a man.

Will We Go on Dates?

Dating isn’t part of an NSA relationship. This isn’t a situation where you’re in it to learn more about one another so you can build intimacy and grow closer.

It’s a hookup. Sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.

This guy isn’t in it to woo you; he’s strictly in it for the sex.

Are There Obligations Between Us?

NSA relationships have no obligations between you. The only duty you might have is a schedule you’ve established for your sexual encounters.

Otherwise, obligations are for committed relationships.

What Type of Person is Best Suited for NSA Relationships?

The section above explores this topic best, but the short answer is that you’re well-suited for an NSA relationship if you don’t desire an emotional connection. I encourage you to read the other criteria above for a more detailed response.

Are NSA Relationships Monogamous?

No. NSA relationships are open, which means you are free to sleep with whomever you want, whenever you want. You aren’t being unfaithful because there is no commitment.

Of course, this takes us back to the emotion discussion above. Don’t get into an NSA relationship if you think you might become jealous or romantically involved.

NSA Relationships

Who Should You Be in an NSA Relationship With?

The first rule is not to get into an NSA relationship with a friend. The obvious reason is that that makes it a friends-with-benefits relationship, which is very different. In that relationship, you maintain a friendship while agreeing to have sex.

Additionally, you don’t want to ruin a friendship with sex.

It will help if you choose someone you know very little about. It sounds risky, but there are ways of ensuring your safety. You want to choose someone who isn’t looking for that emotional attachment you already have with a friend.

The Negatives of NSA Relationships

While there are benefits to entering an NSA relationship, there are also drawbacks. You’ve already read about some of these if you’ve read the entire article.

One of You Might Develop Feelings for the Other

This has been covered a couple of times, but if you’re skipping around, let’s make sure you read it at least once.

While you get into an NSA relationship for sex, things can get sticky if you or the other person start to have feelings. It all depends on whether those feelings are mutual or one-sided.

Using NSA relationships to find a boyfriend is a bad idea, so if that’s your goal, I suggest going at it from a different angle. You’re probably going to end up heartbroken and disappointed.

It Will Keep You from Finding True Love

While many NSA relationships don’t last more than a few months, things can get sticky if you or the other person start to have feelings. Yours may last for months or even years if things are clicking. That’s great if you don’t have a goal of finding a committed relationship anytime soon.

But if you’re using NSA relationships as a filler until you’re ready to date, it could keep you from that goal. Even though the no strings attached relationship isn’t a committed relationship, you may feel as if you should stay if it goes on for a long time.

Or you may discover that what you wanted all along was a commitment and feel you’ve wasted time in the no strings attached type of relationship.

You May Find a Committed Relationship Difficult to Maintain

Committed relationships and NSA relationships are very different. Let’s imagine you decide to get out of the no strings attached relationship business and develop a long-term relationship with a great guy.

Your time and freedom in the NSA relationship may spoil you for the commitment required in a committed relationship. It’s easy not to worry about the other person’s feelings and you aren’t required to answer to anyone. Then, suddenly, someone is holding you accountable, and it can chafe.

The Other Person May Exit for a Committed Relationship

If you get into an NSA relationship with someone that lasts for several months, you might find yourself in a pickle if they decide to look for a committed relationship with someone else.

Rather than get upset, look at it as a chance to be happy for the other person. Also, consider yourself fortunate that neither of you got emotionally involved.

Having said all that, it may still feel like a breakup, and your body may go through the withdrawal of losing sex with that person.

It might be a good time to determine whether you still want to be in NSA relationships or if it’s time to seek something more permanent.

You’re Risking Your Sexual Health

While using condoms decreases the risk of transmitting STIs, there is no foolproof way to do so. Having sex with multiple partners or having sex with someone who has multiple partners significantly increases your chances of getting an STD or STI.

nsa relationship

The “Rules” of an NSA Relationship

No Sharing of Personal Information or Details

The idea behind this type of relationship is that you avoid an emotional attachment. Therefore, you don’t share personal information or details with your NSA partner. The only thing you should be discussing is any sexual preferences you may have and protect your sexual health.

Limit Texting to Setting Time for Sex

This guy isn’t your new BFF, so don’t text him about your day, tell him goodnight or choose a pet name for him.

Your texting should be limited to making plans for your next sexual encounter. Other than that, he’s off limits.

If Someone Develops Feelings, it’s Time to End It

I feel like I’ve said this a half-dozen times, but feelings have no place in an NSA relationship. Be honest with your NSA partner and require the same of him. Agree that if this happens, you discuss it and end the relationship.

No Asking AbNott Other Sexual Partners

His life outside the time you spend together is his business, not yours, and vice versa. You don’t share information about the other people in your life. This is for their privacy as much as for yours.

ALWAYS Use Protection

Cover all your bases with condoms and separate birth control. Again, nothing is 100% protective, and your best defense is a good offense.

Your sexual health and that of your partner should be of the utmost importance, as should avoiding an unwanted pregnancy.

Establish and Maintain Strict Boundaries

It would help if you had boundaries to protect your desire to be in an NSA relationship. Here are a few you should consider:

  • After sex, the partner leaves within an hour
  • No texting warm and fuzzy messages
  • If you bump into one another outside your NSA relationship, pretend as if you don’t know one another.

These boundaries keep you from those emotional attachments you’re working hard to avoid.

When is it Time to Move On?

Every NSA relationship comes to an end at some point. The best way to know when it’s time to move on is when things just aren’t working for you any longer.

You may become bored with this partner, or those dreaded feelings might come into play. You might also decide you want something deeper and more committed.

Or, you might decide you want to take a break from sex for a while.

Remember, you aren’t in a committed relationship, so it isn’t as if you’re breaking up with this guy. He probably has other women he’s sleeping with, and while he may miss you, he shouldn’t feel as if you’ve let him down.

And the same goes for you. Let him go without much drama and fanfare if he decides he wants out.

You and an NSA Relationship

The bottom line is that only you can decide if this type of relationship is right for you and, if so, how long you’ll pursue it. You might decide this is all you want and continue with NSA relationships for years, or you may try it for a few weeks and decide it’s not for you.

All I ask is that you read this article carefully, all 2500+ words of it, and come to an informed decision before you jump in with both feet.

Once you decide to go for it, find a safe way to meet men and ensure you qualify any man before you invite him into your bed.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Enjoy Being Single and Prepare Yourself for Love

Enjoy Being Single and Prepare Yourself for Love

Society tells us that we must be in a relationship to be happy, but today I want to help you enjoy being single so you can prepare yourself for love.

One of the key benefits of being single is the opportunity for self-discovery. Singlehood allows you to explore interests, hobbies, and passions without compromising or adjusting to his preferences. You gain a deeper understanding of yourself, foster personal growth and self-confidence.

Being single also allows you to focus on your career and personal development. Without the responsibilities and time commitments that come with a relationship, you can invest more time in professional growth, pursue higher education, or start your own business. This can lead to greater financial independence and career satisfaction.

Singlehood can also lead to stronger social connections. Without a partner to rely on for companionship, you can invest more time in nurturing friendships and family relationships, therefore leading to a more diverse social network and stronger support system.

Additionally, you have freedom to make decisions solely based on your needs and wants. Whether it’s deciding where to live, what to eat, or how to spend free time, you have the liberty to make choices without having to consider a partner’s desires.

Lastly, being single can lead to better physical health. Studies have shown that single people, particularly women, are more likely to maintain a healthy weight and engage in regular physical activity. This is possibly due to having more time to focus on personal health and wellness.

enjoy being single

Reconceptualizing Singlehood: Shattering Stereotypes

Breaking free from the stigmatization of being single is a game-changer. Society often pushes a one-dimensional picture of happiness that includes a romantic partner. However, that’s not the only way to be happy, especially for single women.

Being single offers a wealth of experiences. You can devote time, energy, and resources to personal growth, self-love, and pursuing passions without accommodating or compromising for his preferences or demands. It’s an enlightening perspective that can turn the tables on the stereotypes surrounding ‘singlehood.’

Embrace singlehood with open arms and use this opportunity to pursue what truly moves you, ignites your soul, and leaves you feeling fulfilled. The newfound freedom and self-determination of being single is incredibly empowering. Go on new adventures, broaden your horizons, taste different flavors of life, and amass experiences you may not have had the opportunity to seek within a relationship.

Being single isn’t a shortcoming, but a time that allows you to explore your true potential. Some say they’re ‘alone’, but in reality, it affords you the chance to develop a strong sense of individuality and self-reliance. You’re not ‘alone’; you’re being genuinely ‘you’, and this self-appreciation and understanding can lead to more fulfilling relationships in the future.

Maintain a vibrant social network while you’re single by surrounding yourself with friends, family, and like-minded individuals who support and inspire you. Cultivate healthy relationships that fuel your growth rather than being tethered to the idea of ‘romantic involvement.’ With a balanced and vibrant social life, you’ll never feel alone or deprived of companionship.

Don’t forget that being single is not a curse. It shouldn’t be stressful, but a time to understand your inner self and what makes you happy. Embrace this time to focus on personal development, discovery, and making the most of your independence.

Enjoy Being Single by Redefining Yourself

Being single offers a unique opportunity to focus entirely on yourself. Let’s be clear: being in a relationship does not equate to personal fulfilment nor does it validate your self-worth. This is your chance to turn the spotlight back on you. It’s your moment to shine.

The Joy of Self-Discovery

One of the most exciting aspects of singlehood is the opportunity to know yourself better. Explore your interests and passions without compromise. If you’ve always wanted to take up painting, go for it. If you’ve been eager to learn a new language or go hiking each weekend, now is the time.

Like Dolly Parton once said, “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

Personal Growth

There’s no denying that being single provides the perfect environment for personal growth. Invest time in reading, learning, or pursuing a course; not to impress someone else, but to enhance your own knowledge and skills. Seeing your own growth and progress can be incredibly empowering.

Enjoying Your Own Company

Let’s dispel a misconception: enjoying your own company doesn’t equate to loneliness. It’s about being comfortable with yourself, appreciating your own companionship, and discovering that indeed, you can be your own best friend.

Take yourself out on dates, visit museums, watch movies, or simply enjoy tranquil moments at home, basking in the quiet serenity that only solitude can offer.

As the great artist and thinker Jean-Paul Sartre put it, “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.”

Embrace your solo journey, valuing the liberty it provides. Understand, cherish, and nurture your relationship with yourself. After all, only when you truly love and understand yourself can you fully appreciate and be open to love from others.

Enhancing Personal Growth: Opportunities in Singlehood

It’s essential to recognize your individuality when you are single. Take this time to immerse yourself in activities, communities, and hobbies where you can comfortably express yourself. Do you have a love for painting but struggled to find the time while in a relationship? Maybe you’ve always wanted to take up salsa dancing but kept pushing it to the back of your priorities. Now is the time to unfurl your wings and soar into the world of untapped possibilities.

Mastering the Art of Self-Love

Many people underestimate the power of self-love and the positive domino effect it can have on various aspects of their lives. Now is the ideal time to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. Engaging in self-care practices such as meditation, setting boundaries, and reflecting on personal development can significantly impact your overall well-being.

Remember, being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. It’s merely an opportunity to establish stronger connections with oneself away from the noise and influence of others. This might include exploring spiritual or philosophical ideas that resonate with you, spending time in nature to ground yourself, and more.

Enjoy Being Single and Focus on Career Development

Being single gives you a unique freedom to throw yourself into your career without any distraction. Brush up your resume, apply for that dream job, or start that business you’ve been considering. If you’re happy with your current job, think of ways you could improve or gain additional responsibilities. Use this time to boost your professional skills and network.

It’s also crucial to reconnect with friends and family during this time. Sometimes, relationships can take us away from our loved ones, but being single gives us the chance to build closer bonds with those who’ve been there for us regardless of our relationship status.

Consider this phase as a golden opportunity to fall in love with yourself and the world around you from a fresh perspective. Use it as a launching pad for your future, whether it leads to remaining single or entering a new relationship. Remember, embracing your solo journey helps you become your best self, ready and capable to handle whatever comes next.

Mastering the Art of Solitude: Comfort in Your Own Company

Embracing solitude should not be viewed as a sentence of loneliness, but as an opportunity to bond with oneself. This is the time for you, who may have spent years in a relationship, to enjoy your own company to the fullest. This practice is not only empowering but also fosters self-awareness and self-appreciation.

Begin with creating a personal sanctuary, an environment where you feel at peace, where you can relax and let your mind wander. This space can be as simple as a corner of your room adorned with your favorite things, a cozy reading nook, or even an outdoor space like your garden.

Practice solitude in small doses. If you’re not used to spending time alone, start by allocating short spans of time for yourself, gradually increasing as you become more comfortable with your alone time. Whether it’s reading a book, painting, cooking your favorite meal, or simply sipping a cup of coffee, find joy in these moments.

Expand Your Horizons: Engage in Solo Activities

Explore solo activities that you enjoy and allow you to flex your independence. It could be joining a painting class, signing up for martial arts, learning a musical instrument or even traveling alone. These activities will not only keep you engaged but also provide an avenue to flourish outside a relationship.

Traveling Solo: Adventure Awaits

Traveling alone can be a fantastic experience. It allows you to tailor your travel experiences to your tastes. Want to explore a museum or take a hike? No need to consult or compromise with anyone. Along with the excitement of discovery, you will also learn to handle and overcome challenges on your own. It is a breathtakingly liberating experience that makes a strong statement about your self-reliance.
Cherish this opportunity, secure with the knowledge that being single allows you the freedom to define your life in terms and conditions that satisfy your core being.

Enjoy Being Single by Breaking Free: A Guide to Independence and Self-Love

Embrace the opportunity that the single life provides to foster a deep sense of self-reliance, a quality treasured in every sphere of life. Here’s how you can venture on this path of independence.

Cultivating Life Skills

Being single offers you the perfect chance to cultivate and hone essential life skills. Whether it’s mastering culinary endeavors, learning how to manage finances effectively, or becoming your own handyman around the house, these skills not only contribute to personal growth but also foster a sense of self-achievement and confidence.

Taking the Lead in Decision Making

When we share our life with a partner, it’s common to make compromises and sometimes let go of our preferences. But as a single woman, you have the freedom to make all the decisions without consultation. Take this opportunity to make choices based on solely what works best for you, and tune into your innate instincts for guidance.

Embracing Emotional Autonomy

Appreciate the emotional autonomy that comes with singlehood. This means understanding your feelings, taking responsibility for them, and learning how to nurture your emotional wellbeing independently. Emotional autonomy leads to emotional maturity, which in turn helps shape healthy relationships in the future.

Being single is not about waiting for the perfect partner but rather an opportunity to be the best version of yourself – fully independent and wholly embracing self-love. Enjoy this time to grow, learn, and experience life wholly as you.

enjoy being single

Enjoy Being Single: Personal, Social, and Financial Benefits

While it’s easy to list off societal advantages of being in a relationship or being married, let’s not forget that being single, as well, comes with its unique perks. Personally, socially, and financially, there are several upsides to celebrate your single status. Let’s unpack some of these advantages.

Nurturing Personal Freedom

Being single empowers you in a unique way; it grants you an unparalleled level of personal freedom. This freedom extends to the little decisions—like watching your guilty-pleasure TV show without interruption—to bigger life choices, like moving across the country for an exciting job opportunity or spontaneously embarking on an impromptu vacation. Your choices are not limited or regulated by someone else’s preferences, habits, or routines.

Developing Strong Social Bonds

Without a significant other to monopolize your time, you might find yourself reaching out more to your friends, family, and community. This is an excellent time to cultivate new friendships, discover exciting social groups, or commit to regular volunteer work. Being single provides you with an ample opportunity to broaden your social circles and deepen existing relationships.

Enjoy Being Single by Securing Financial Independence

Without the constraints and considerations of a partner’s financial habits, being single allows you to take full control of your finances. You have the liberty to manage your income as you see fit: save, splurge, invest or donate, the choice is entirely yours. This sense of financial independence not only develops your financial acuity but also provides an empowering sense of self-reliance.

Being single offers a multitude of benefits that can lead to personal growth, enriched social interactions, and financial autonomy. Cherishing this time and appreciating these advantages can help shift your perspective and empower you to relish in your single status.

Travel Solo: Experiences and Insights

There’s a unique kind of thrill that comes with stamping your passport all by yourself, waiting at the departure lounge with an air of anticipation. Solo travel is an experience that can introduce you to unparalleled self-discovery and growth. Let’s embark on this adventure together.

Unleashing the Explorer Within

Traveling alone can bring out the explorer within you. With no one else to rely on for decisions or plans, it’s up to you to create the journey you truly desire. This can be a liberating experience, allowing you to discover not only the wonders of the world, but also those hidden layers of your personality. You might surprise yourself with how resourceful, brave, and independent you can be.

Fostering Relationships and Cultural Understanding

During your solo trips, expect unexpected friendships along the way. Interacting with locals and fellow travelers can sometimes offer more meaningful connections than daily interactions at home. You’ll expose yourself more wholeheartedly to different cultures, customs, and perspectives, broadening your understanding and fostering a deeper respect for diversity.

Freedom and Flexibility at Its Best

Traveling solo means you can follow your own schedule, independent of others’ needs or preferences. Wake up at sunrise to catch the spectacular view from the peak? Yep, you can! Spend a leisurely afternoon at a local market? Absolutely! With no compromises to make, every day becomes a symphony of your own making.

Self-Reflection and Personal Development

Lastly, the quiet moments on solo trips provide excellent opportunities for introspection. Away from familiar environments and routines, you’ll have the chance to view your life from a different perspective. These moments of solitude can be transformative, leading to personal growth and a deeper appreciation of your strength and resilience.

Being single doesn’t mean you can’t hit the road and satiate your wanderlust. On the contrary, it offers you an enviable liberty to travel solo, explore to your heart’s content, make unexpected friendships, and discover your true self. It’s a journey worth taking!

Enjoy Being Single by Building a Financial Fortress

Consider that with singlehood comes an unmatched opportunity to build a strong financial foundation. Would you like to control your money like a boss lady? Let’s plunge in.

A Firm Grasp on Budgeting

Think of budgeting as a means to highlight your independence. With budgeting, you directly control where your money goes and how much you save. It steers you clear from mounting debt and helps you steadily accumulate wealth. Balancing monthly rent, utilities, groceries, and ensuring a chunk of your income is stashed away for future needs could surely make you feel empowered.

Embracing Investments And Assets

Ever considered making your money work for you? Investments are the keys. Shares, bonds, or real estate investments are lucrative options to start with. These yield returns over time, amplifying your capital. As a single woman, you are in the advantageous position to take risks, learn, and grow in the financial world.

Financial Cushion: Prioritizing Emergency Funds

It’s prudent to have an emergency fund as a financial safety net, something that’s achievable when you’re in control of your finances. Think of it as your personal financial cushion, there to break your fall during financially demanding situations. As a single woman, having an emergency fund gives you the freedom to navigate unexpected circumstances without accumulating debt or compromising your lifestyle.

Begin by assessing your monthly expenses. How much do you need to cover necessities like rent or mortgage, groceries, utilities, transportation, and healthcare? Experts recommend having at least 3-6 months’ worth of expenses stashed somewhere safe, easily accessible, and earning interest.

Building an emergency fund may feel like a monumental task, especially if you’re starting from zero. But remember that even the smallest savings add up over time. Automating your savings could help in this endeavor. Have a specific amount or percentage of your income transferred to your emergency fund automatically every pay period. Consider it a payment to your future self.

Lastly, as you adjust your budget to accommodate your emergency fund, don’t forget to balance it with your other financial goals – like retirement savings or investment opportunities. You are crafting a bigger picture of financial resilience and security, and an emergency fund is just one piece of the puzzle.

Acknowledge the power that comes with financial independence and command your financial future with confidence. Remember: the security and peace of mind you gain from your financial cushion is one more reason to love and embrace your singlehood.

Enjoy Being Single by Cultivating Nourishing Friendships

One of the key aspects of enjoying your singlehood involves fostering and maintaining strong friendships. Having a supportive network of reliable friends can instil confidence and fill your life with happiness, love, and wisdom.

No person is an island, and so nurturing friendships should be considered as a vital part of life, single or not. It can be your strongest defense against feelings of loneliness often attached to being single.

Journey Together: Strengthen Bonds with Shared Activities

Shared activities are like the mortar that holds the bricks of friendship together – strong and flexible. They help to create unforgettable memories which form the basis of lasting relationships. Planning movie nights, weekend getaways, or cooking sessions together are excellent ways to strengthen the bonds. You can bask in soulful, uplifting conversations or engage in lively debates while sharing your joys and interests together.

Create a Sisterhood: Connect on a Deeper Level

Fostering deeper connections with your friends elevates your relationship from shallow interactions to a wholesome sisterhood. Vulnerability plays a key role in this process. Be open about your fears, failures, and dreams, for it creates a safe space that allows others to do the same. These candid and colorful conversations form stepping stones to greater understanding and mutual respect.

Lift Each Other: Being Supportive Through Thick and Thin

Being there for one another, in joy and in grief, sits at the heart of every meaningful friendship. Express genuine interest in understanding your friends’ lives, experiences, and perspectives. Offer them motivation when they are down, celebrate their achievements, and support them in difficult times. This exchange promotes deeper connection, and it builds a safety net of love and acceptance around you.

Cultivate New Friendships: Expand Your Circle

Embracing new friendships does not deemphasize the significance of old ones. In fact, introducing fresh perspectives to your life can help expand your horizons and introduce you to new experiences. Attend local social events, join interest groups, or volunteer at local charities to meet new people. Each new friend brings a unique layer to your life, fostering personal growth and contributing to a thrilling single life.

Remember, the idea is not to surround yourself with people to avoid being alone. Rather, it’s about gathering a tribe that aligns with your values, reciprocates your effort, and amplifies the joy of being single!

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Enjoy Being Single by Dating Yourself: The Ultimate Self-Love Practice

Appreciating your own company takes on a whole new level when you begin to date yourself. This practice is more than just a trendy hashtag; it’s a radical act of self-love and affirmation. This isn’t about imitating the structure of conventional dates but instead redefining what the experience should be like through the lens of self-care and celebration.

Creating Your Ideal Date

The first step into this transformative practice starts with thinking about what your ideal date would look like if you were planning it for yourself. Is it an innovative cooking class? Perhaps a serene day spent at a spa or maybe an adventurous hike in the mountains? The wonderful thing about it is that you don’t need to compromise with anyone but yourself. You can take this time to explore and engage in activities you truly enjoy, giving you more insight into your individual preferences and passions.

Empowering Solo Time

Being your own date means you are the guest of honor and the gracious host simultaneously. So, dress up (or dress down if you prefer!), cook your favorite meal, luxuriate in a bubble bath, or sink into a book you’ve been putting off reading. Investing time in yourself not only relieves stress but also enhances your self-esteem and self-efficacy.

Reconnecting with Yourself

When you date yourself, you’re taking the time to nurture your needs and indulge in your interests. This fosters a connection between your mind, body, and spirit that’s truly rejuvenating. You’ll find that you’re getting to know yourself on a deeper level, recognizing your strengths and accepting your flaws in the process. Moreover, taking yourself out on dates can boost your mindfulness, making you more aware of your emotions, thoughts, and actions in the process.

A Celebration of Singlehood

Remember, dating yourself isn’t a “consolation prize” for being single. Rather, it’s a celebration of your independence and the freedom to enjoy your own company without feeling lonely. It’s an opportunity to cultivate a strong, loving relationship with yourself – the kind that radiates outwards, touching every aspect of your life.

Mindfulness and Emotional Well-being in Singlehood

Thriving in singlehood isn’t just about tangible achievements and activities – it also involves deep introspection, emotional awareness, and cultivating a positive mindset. Let’s delve into practicing mindfulness and pursuing emotional well-being during this special chapter of your life.

Catch Your Breath: Practicing Mindfulness

Engaging in mindfulness exercises can help bring clarity, calmness, and a deeper understanding of your emotional state. Mindfulness is the practice of focusing all your attention on the present moment and accepting it without judgement. Not only does it help manage stress, but it also allows for a true exploration of self.

Guided Meditation and Yoga

Both guided meditation and yoga can serve as powerful tools for mindfulness. Spending just a few minutes each day, quieting your mind and tuning in to your body can bring about profound mental and emotional benefits. It’s about being present with every breath and ever movement, ultimately nurturing a friendly, positive relationship with your self.

The Art of Mindful Eating

Mindful eating is another enjoyable, practical way to practice mindfulness. It is savouring every bite, appreciating the food, and listening to your body’s signals. This can not just transform your relationship with food, but also bring about a sense of gratitude and contentment.

Emotional Resilience: Your Emotional Well-Being Matters

Singlehood, like any other phase of life, can come with its own set of challenges, highs, and lows. But remember, your emotional health is important. There is immense power in acknowledging your feelings, understanding them, and gently guiding yourself towards positivity.

Enjoy Being Single and Grasp the Power of Positivity

Every thought holds energy. Make yours positive. Cultivate an optimistic attitude, even amid challenges. Remember, it’s not about ignoring negative feelings, but rather acknowledging them and then choosing to focus on the brighter side of things.

Understanding and Embracing Your Emotions

Your feelings are valid. Confront them, understand them, and allow yourself to feel them completely. Being at peace with your emotions can provide a foundation for stronger mental resilience and overall emotional health.

Empowering Yourself: Career Advancements as a Single Woman

Seizing your single status as a platform to progress in your career is empowering on so many levels. As a single woman, you hold the reins of your life. You are at a unique place where you can wholeheartedly devote yourself to career advancement without having to compromise on your aspirations for anybody else. Yes, you can prioritize your ambition and formulate clear career goals — the kind that sets your heart on fire, fills you with zeal and gets you thrilled about your future.

Building Expertise and Credibility

Start by identifying the area of your career where you want to develop an in-depth knowledge. Once you’ve pinpointed this, commit to learning relentlessly. This could involve taking up additional courses, attending conferences, reading extensively or simply seeking advice from mentors. Remember, as you learn and grow, you transform not only your professional identity but also the way you perceive yourself. You gain confidence, deepen your skillset, and become valued in your field. In essence, you are proof of the saying: “knowledge is power”.

Diving into Leadership Roles

It’s a game-changing move when a woman steps forward and occupies positions of leadership. It’s not just about managing a team, but about the influence you can make in your field. Yes, it can be challenging and a huge responsibility. But remember, the world needs more women leaders, and your unique set of skills, experiences, and perspectives can bring a lot to the table.

Chasing Your Passion

If you have a passion project or a dream career you’ve always wanted to pursue, now is the time to dive into it. As a single woman, you have the incredible advantage of being able to take risks and experiment without having to worry about the direct impact your decisions may have on a partner or a family. Don’t shy away from chasing what truly sets your soul alight. It may seem scary at first, but you’ll never know until you take that leap.

Work for Balance, Not Burnout

Here’s a reminder though: While securing career advancements is important, it’s just as crucial to maintain a healthy work-life balance. As a single woman, it’s easy to fall into the traps of overworking and burnout. Make sure to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and make time for relaxation and fun. After all, the aim is to enjoy being single, isn’t it?

Home Alone but Happy: Enjoying Your Personal Space

Being single allows you the unique privilege of having complete and total control over your personal space. It’s your castle, your sanctuary, and you get to dictate every facet of its existence. From the aesthetic design to the daily care, with no compromises or negotiations, your home becomes a true reflection and extension of yourself. Here are some ways you can relish in this freedom and make the most out of your personal space.

Curate Your Perfect Environment

As you’re the master of your own domain, you can define your personal space to mirror your preferences and personality. Love bright colors? Go ahead and paint that wall neon pink. Are you a fan of minimalism? Decorate your home with neat designs and keep clutter-free. Experiment with different looks and themes till you find what makes you feel the most at home. Remember, you’re crafting a personal haven that serves as an outlet for creative expression, reflecting who you are and what you love.

Indulge in Home Spa Days

You have the freedom to turn your bathroom into your very own spa whenever you like. Purchase some aromatic bath oils, light some soothing candles, and let the warmth of the bath melt your stresses away. Boxed in this intimate environment, you can focus solely on self-care and relaxation, which isn’t just luxurious, but essential for your well-being.

Create Personal Rituals

Living alone gives you the chance to create personal rituals that resonate with your soul and give your life structure. Perhaps it’s brewing a cup of tea first thing in the morning, doing yoga by your window, or reading a book on your couch before bed. These rituals become an integral part of your daily routine, offering comfort and consistency, and acting as self-care practices that keep you grounded and balanced in your single life.

Enjoy Being Single by Taking Control of Home Maintenance

While it may seem daunting, being responsible for your home’s upkeep can be incredibly empowering. Learn how to do minor repairs, redecorate or even DIY your own home improvements. These tasks provide practical skills and give you a satisfying sense of control and ownership over your space. Plus, it’s always a great conversational starter, knowing how to install a light fixture or fix a leaky faucet!

Your home is more than just a space. It’s a reflection of you, filtered through your unique perspective and tastes, serving as a constant reminder of your singular journey. So embrace the autonomy that comes with this territory. After all, as they say, “there is no place like home”.

The Single Woman’s Guide to Confidence and Self-Esteem

Building confidence and self-esteem is not a fleeting process; rather, it demands consistent efforts and patience. However, singlehood offers a wonderful opportunity to focus on these aspects of personal growth.

Cultivate Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy, or the belief in our ability to accomplish tasks and achieve goals, is a crucial aspect of confidence. Start by setting and achieving small, realistic goals to gradually build a sense of competence and belief in yourself.

Recall Past Successes

Doubts may creep in from time to time, threatening your confidence. In such moments, recall your past achievements and let the memory of these triumphs fuel your self-belief.

Empower Yourself With Knowledge

Be a lifelong learner. Empower yourself with knowledge and engage in topics that interest you. Expanding your knowledge base can fuel self-confidence.

Enjoy Being Single and Foster Positive Body Image

Our perception of our body plays a significant role in shaping our self-esteem. Embrace your unique beauty and resist the urge to compare yourself with others. Regularly engage in activities that make you feel good about your body, such as, practicing yoga, indulging in healthy food, or experimenting with a new style.

Affirmations and Self-Talk

Positive self-talk can significantly influence our level of confidence and self-esteem. Start and end your day with affirmations that cultivate positivity and self-love.

Acknowledge Respect and Appreciation Towards Self

Respect and appreciation aren’t just meant to be shown towards others; they should be directed towards yourself too. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and appreciate your efforts. This acts as an important reminder that every step you take is bringing you closer to becoming the best version of yourself.

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Remember, seeking professional assistance for enhancing self-esteem and confidence is not a sign of weakness. Therapists and counselors can provide valuable insights and tools to help manage doubts and insecurities effectively.

Lastly, do remember that true confidence and self-esteem come from within and are not dependent on someone else’s validation. Embrace your singleness as a phase to invest in building up yourself where your worth is realized by nobody but you.

Wrapping Up: Enjoy Being Single

Being single can seem daunting at first, but when you learn to navigate through it, it can be an empowering experience. The journey to enjoying singlehood begins with a fundamental shift in perspective – where you switch from seeing it as a lacking condition to an opportunity.

Embrace Singlehood: Cherishing Me-time

Embracing singlehood is all about understanding the worth of your me-time. Being single gives you plenty of time to focus on your interests, to delve deeper into hobbies, and to take care of your physical and mental well-being.

Crafting Your Solo Schedule

There’s an undeniable power in creating your own schedule. The flexibility not only encourages personal growth but also opens up opportunities that were earlier hidden. As a single woman, you have the freedom to frame your days in a way that suits you best.

Whether it’s dedicating an hour a day to learn a new language, practicing yoga, or even trying your hand at a gourmet recipe, remember to enjoy the ride. It’s not always about the end goal but about the experiences and lessons you gain along the way.

Enriching Personal Space

When living alone, you have the liberty to decorate and maintain your living space as per your tastes and preferences. Consider this as an opportunity to express your creativity and individuality.

Develop an atmosphere that invokes positivity and peace. Make every corner of your house uniquely yours and watch how your living space turns into a therapeutic sanctuary that eases your tensions and rejuvenates your spirits.

Adopting Healthy Lifestyle Choices

With an unobstructed focus on yourself, adopting healthier lifestyle choices becomes more manageable. Eat nutritiously, exercise regularly, and maintain a sleep schedule that complements your body’s rhythm. Remember, good health isn’t a destination, but a way of life.

Prioritizing Mental Wellness

The pathway to enjoying your single years fully lies in taking care of your mental health as religiously as physical health. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or any activity that helps in managing stress. Consider seeking professional guidance if need be. Your mental wellness matters immensely.

Every phase of life comes with its challenges, but it is these difficulties that make us grow as individuals. So, embrace your single years wholeheartedly and transform them into the most enriching period of your life.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

How to Be Happy Being Single

How to Be Happy Being Single

Can You Be Happy Being Single?

Have you been wondering how to be happy being single?

Being single offers a sense of independence and freedom. When you’re not in a committed relationship, you have the freedom to make decisions solely based on your own desires and needs. You can pursue your own interests, hobbies, and goals without having to consider the preferences or opinions of a partner. This independence allows you to truly explore and discover yourself, leading to personal growth and self-discovery.

Focus on You

Another benefit of being single is the opportunity to focus on self-care and personal development. Without the responsibilities and demands of a romantic relationship, you can prioritize your own well-being. You have more time and energy to invest in activities that promote self-improvement, such as exercising, pursuing education or career goals, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. This self-focus can lead to increased self-esteem and a stronger sense of self.

The Power of Autonomy

Being single also allows for a greater sense of autonomy and control over your own life. You have the freedom to make decisions without having to compromise or negotiate with a partner. This autonomy can lead to a greater sense of empowerment and confidence in your ability to navigate life on your own terms. It also allows you to set and achieve personal goals without the potential distractions or conflicts that can arise in a romantic relationship.

Rediscover You

Additionally, being single provides an opportunity for personal exploration and discovery. You have the chance to meet new people, form new friendships, and engage in new experiences without the constraints of a committed relationship. This can lead to a broader social network and a more diverse range of connections, which can enrich your life and provide new perspectives. It also allows you to explore different dating options and learn more about your own preferences and values in potential partners.

Find Peace

Lastly, being single can offer a sense of peace and contentment. Without the pressures and expectations of a romantic relationship, you can focus on cultivating a fulfilling and satisfying life on your own. You have the freedom to prioritize your own happiness and well-being, and to create a life that aligns with your own values and aspirations. This can lead to a deep sense of fulfillment and a genuine happiness that comes from within.

how to be happy being single

Embrace Your Independence

Being single doesn’t mean you’re alone, in fact, it epitomizes a level of independence that can be entirely empowering. When you’re single, you are given a unique opportunity to further nurture your relationship with the most important person in your life—you.

Learn to Love Being Single

Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the most valuable things you will learn during your single period. Whether it’s spending a quiet evening with a good book or hitting the town solo, embracing the idea of spending time alone can lead to an elevated sense of self.

  • Start investing more time in the activities you love, or even better, find new hobbies to explore. This not only boosts your self-esteem but also adds more layers to your identity.
  • Plan trips and outings by yourself. Visiting new places on your own can be a great way to test your independence and gain more self-confidence.
  • Take decisions independently. Making choices on your own can be daunting at first, but knowing you have the power to shape your life exactly how you want it can be a liberating feeling.

Becoming happy with being single also calls for developing a strong sense of self-love. Remember, you are a whole on your own, and it’s completely adequate to take time to focus on nurturing that wholesomeness.

Independence isn’t doing things by yourself, it means being able to do things by yourself. You could well engage with friends and family, seek advice when needed, but ultimately, you are the master of your universe and hold the power to make or break your own happiness.

Live Your Life Your Way

One of the greatest things about being single is having the carte blanche to set your own rules and lead life at your own pace. Whether it’s setting your career goals or deciding your weekend plans, the possibilities are limitless. And as you navigate through this journey of self-discovery, remember to celebrate every step towards becoming happily single.

Enjoy the Freedom

Isn’t there a certain appeal in the freedom that comes with being single? When you’re single, you’re the captain of your own ship. You’re in charge, setting the course for your life, free to steer in any direction you please. Being single presents a stellar opportunity to relish in that freedom and explore what it truly means to you.

Opportunities for Self-Discovery

Our relationship status doesn’t define us, but it can certainly influence how we navigate our lives. When you’re in a committed relationship, you have to consider your partner’s needs, wishes, and plans when making decisions. But as a single person, the power to explore and shape every facet of your life rests solely in your hands. You have the freedom to focus on your personal growth, unearth your passions, and forge your unique path in life.

  • Want to take up a new hobby? Go for it.
  • Have a craving for a solo travel adventure? Now’s the time.
  • Looking to advance your studies or switch careers? You can without needing to compromise.

Unplanned Adventures and Spontaneity

One of the joys about being single is the spontaneity it brings. Without the constraints of coordinating schedules, you can embrace a more spontaneous lifestyle. You can choose to go to that last-minute concert, try that new class at the gym, or even take that random road trip on the weekend. Being single is all about adventuring at your own pace.

Remember, your choices and decisions are solely yours to make. Embrace that freedom; it’s one of the most beautiful things about being single.

Prioritizing Self-Care

When you’re single, you have more time and freedom to indulge in self-care without feeling guilty or perceived as selfish. You can prioritize your mental and physical health, opting to meditate, exercise, or just enjoy some quiet time. This time spent alone can be incredibly healing and rejuvenating.

  1. Spend time in nature: Go for walks, jog, or simply sit and admire the scenery.
  2. Create a self-care routine: Ensure your day includes practices that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
  3. Engage in activities you love: Whether it’s cooking, reading, or gardening – spend time doing things that make you happy.

In the grand scheme of things, being single can be a fantastically liberating and rewarding phase of life. It’s a time to truly explore your individuality, unshackled by compromises and free to pursue your aspirations. So, cherish these moments, enjoy your singlehood, and make the most out of your freedom. Remember, happiness comes from within. Single or not, you are complete, just the way you are.

how to be happy being single

Build a Strong Support System

As a single individual, you naturally require a network of individuals who can provide you with moral, emotional, and sometimes even financial support. This network or ‘support system’ should consist of friends, family, colleagues, mentors, or anyone else who can help you navigate the ups and downs of life with wisdom and compassion.

Build Strong Relationships

Fostering strong relationships is crucial, no matter your relationship status. It’s particularly important when you’re single though, as these connections can help fill any emotional void you might be feeling. These relationships provide a sense of belonging, contribute to our sense of self-worth, and can even boost your overall happiness and wellbeing.

  • Connect with old friends. Reach out to those you haven’t spoken to in a while and try to rekindle those friendships.
  • Make new friends. Try to make friends with other single people who can understand and support your lifestyle.
  • Join groups or clubs. Find groups or clubs related to your interests to meet and interact with like-minded individuals.

Develop a Support System

While building a support system, remember that the quality of your relationships matter more than the quantity. It’s about surrounding yourself with positive, encouraging people who lift you up, not bring you down. True happiness comes from being loved and appreciated for who you are as an individual.

Your connections should support your growth, celebrate your successes, empathize with your struggles, and love you unconditionally; That’s what having a strong support system is all about.

On a closing note, remember to also give back to your support system. Mental and emotional support is a two-way street. You need to be there for them in the same capacity they are there for you. Being a reliable, empathetic, and compassionate friend will not only make you feel good, but will strengthen your bonds and deepen your relationships.

All in all, when you have a strong, loving, and supportive circle around you, being single doesn’t feel like being ‘alone.’ Instead, you find joy and contentment in your independence, which helps in creating an overall happier single life.

Discover Your Passions

Welcome to one of the most exciting parts of being single: having the freedom and time to discover what really lights you up. This is about finding your passions, not just hobbies to pass time. When you invest your energy in discovering your passions, the rewards can be immense. You’re not just filling up your free time, but giving your life a sense of purpose and direction, which, trust us, can drive an immense amount of happiness.

So, how do you start discovering your true passions? Here are a few easy-to-follow steps:

  1. Step back and self-reflect: Self-reflection is crucial. Consider what really excites you, what can keep you wake until the wee hours of the morning. It could be playing an instrument, exploring nature trails, painting, or even learning a new language!
  2. Experiment with new things: It’s difficult to discover a new passion if you keep doing the same things. Be curious and step out of your comfort zone; try new activities, go to different places, read different genres of books, meet new people. You never know what might spark your interest.
  3. Give your passion time to grow: Even if you find something you love, it may not feel like a full-blown passion right away. Be patient. Give it time to grow. Just like a seed gradually turns into a plant, your interest can turn into a passion over time.

Once you’ve discovered your passions, let them take center stage in your life. Sure, bills have to be paid and chores need to be completed, but make sure there’s ample time in your schedule for what brings you joy.

“When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.” – Lolly Daskal

Remember, your solo journey is inherently an exploration of your deepest desires and possible destinies. Treat yourself with kindness, approach each day with curiosity, and allow your passions to guide you towards genuine happiness.

Focus on Personal Growth

Being single is an incredible period for personal growth as it gives you the space, time, and freedom to mould your life your way. No one to distract. No one to get approval from. It’s you and your life, completely under your control.

Think about what you truly want from your life. Have you been putting off any dreams because they didn’t align with a partner’s interests or schedules?

  1. Maybe, you’ve always wanted to travel somewhere exotic, but it never happened because your partner wasn’t interested.
  2. Perhaps, launching a business was a simmering dream, but the risks were too high to take when you were not alone.

There’s No Time Like the Present!

Well, guess what? Now is your time! You’re single, and you can shape your life however you want.

Moreover, focusing on personal growth is not limited to achieving big dreams. It also involves working on enhancing your skills, stepping out of your comfort zone, and pursuing things that add to your essence, character, and knowledge base.

  • Learn a new language. It not only gives you a new skill but also opens up opportunities to connect with a broader range of people.
  • Start playing a musical instrument. It not only soothes your soul but also challenges your brain and senses.
  • Take up cooking or painting. Such activities can function as a fantastic stress buster and can help you to discover your hidden talents.

Remember, the most important relationship you’ll ever have in life is the one with yourself. So, pouring love, time, and energy into this relationship is never wasted.

Discover Where Happiness Truly Comes From

Finally, remember that happiness does not come from another person, it comes from within. Don’t search for someone to complete you. Instead, work on becoming whole all by yourself. This way, if and when love does come knocking again, you’ll be ready to welcome it, not out of desperation but from a place of completeness and joy.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Travel and Explore the World

Traveling and exploring the world is a fantastic way to enjoy your single status. There are no limitations, no one else’s preferences to consider, and there’s a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered. It’s your adventure and yours alone.

The beauty of traveling is finding novel experiences, meeting diverse individuals, and learning from the contrasting cultures and lifestyles. As a single, you can journey as you wish, select your pace, subtly immerse yourself into the unknown, and thoroughly enjoy the uniqueness that each destination has to offer.

Unplanned Adventures

You can change your journey course anytime, or stick to a new city you just adored. Unplanned trips often lead to unique, enriching experiences that bring excitement and freedom along.

Meet New People

You might meet like-minded individuals that can be long-term connections, or interesting locals who can offer unique views into their cultures. These interactions are often integral to travel experiences and can leave lasting impressions.

Cultivate Your Interests

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to practice scuba-diving, learn cooking of a specific cuisine, or witness an international music festival. Well, it’s your chance now. Transform your travel experiences into a personal journey for nurturing your interests.

Self-Discovery

As you step outside your comfort zone, you engage in self-exploration and often discover things you didn’t even know you were capable of. These realizations help you to understand yourself better and enhance your confidence.

When you travel solo, you make your journey what you truly want it to be. Use this time to indulge in your curiosities, to learn, to grow, and to celebrate your singlehood. Embrace the journeys, the experiences, and the newfound perspectives you’ll bring back home. These are the treasures that enrich the person you are.

“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta

Develop Meaningful Friendships

There’s a satisfying beauty about forming heartfelt connections with people that’s entirely independent of romantic involvement. Cultivating meaningful friendships can offer you immense joy, constant support, and a sense of belonging that can make being single an enjoyable journey, rather than a lonely one.

Rekindle Old Friendships

Why not start by reconnecting with old friends? Rekindling bonds that once meant a lot to you can in many ways feel reinvigorating. Revisiting shared history, reminiscing old times, and catching up on years passed – these moments can fill your heart with warmth and a sense of continuity.

Remember, genuine friendship isn’t about the quantity, but the quality of your connections. Focus on fostering deep, meaningful relationships where mutual respect, empathy, and trust are the cornerstones.

Discover New Friendships

Now, that’s not to say you should ignore the potential for forging new connections. They say the world is full of strangers waiting to become friends. Dive into new relationships without a fear of judgment or rejection. Every new person you meet carries a lifetime of experiences, stories, and perspectives that can enrich your life.

  • Join a club or group that aligns with your passions and interests. This not only helps you meet like-minded people, but it also allows you to bond over shared hobbies or activities.
  • Volunteer for causes you care about. This can be a rewarding experience all in itself, and it also puts you in contact with people who share your values and compassion.
  • Start a conversation with someone online who shares your interests. The internet presents was to connect with people from all walks of life. Just be conscientious about your safety online as well.

A friend can provide companionship, laughter, and comfort in ways that a romantic partner may not always manage. When you surround yourself with a solid network of friends, you’ll find that being alone never means being lonely. Embrace the love and warmth that friendships bring, and singlehood will feel like a rich, fulfilling experience.

Celebrate Your Achievements

Celebrating your achievements is a critical step in embracing singlehood. When you attain a goal, it’s important to acknowledge it and take pride in your accomplishment. These moments of self-recognition not only boost your morale but also help to improve your perception of self-worth and build confidence.

Achievements can be as grand as landing a new job, completing a tough fitness goal, or as simplistic as finishing a good book or learning a new recipe. It doesn’t have to be world-changing. Remember, the emphasis here is on celebrating your journey and the milestones along the way, no matter how big or small they may be.

You see, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not always just about the big picture. There is a unique mixture of excitement and self-satisfaction in acknowledging the small victories. By celebrating these, you remind yourself of your abilities and reinforce a positive, self-caring attitude.

Great Strategies

Here are a few strategies you can employ to celebrate your achievements:

  • Journal your successes. Keep a diary or journal where you can note down your accomplishments. This provides a tangible representation of progress, and you’ll have something to look back on during challenging times.
  • Reward yourself. Whether it’s a special treat, a personal day, or buying something you’ve wanted – rewarding yourself is a wonderful way to acknowledge the hard work you’ve put towards achieving your goals.
  • Share your achievements. Sharing your successes with friends and family members can multiply the joy. They are a part of your journey and will be glad to celebrate with you. This also reinforces a sense of belonging and community.

Remember, being single is not a sentence, but a chance to truly focus on you. Engaging positively with your life’s progress can help reinforce your confidence in your ability to make it on your own. It’s entirely about how you view it. You’re not alone, you’re autonomous!

Take Advantage of Career Opportunities

Being single presents you with unique opportunities to kick your career up a notch. Without the responsibilities that come with being part of a couple, you have more time and energy to invest in your profession.

Networking

Use your time to network and attend industry events. It’s an ideal way to meet people who can introduce you to new opportunities. Also, don’t forget virtual networking. Join webinars, online forums, and discussions related to your field.

Skills Development

If there’s a course or certification that you’ve been interested in, now is the time to pursue it. Self-improvement and lifelong learning can not only make you more competitive in your field but also provide personal fulfillment.

Remember, career advancement doesn’t exclusively mean climbing the corporate ladder. It could also mean branching out, starting your own business, or shifting to a more fulfilling role or industry.

Don’t forget, putting in extra effort doesn’t mean burning yourself out. Strive for work-life balance. Prioritize self-care and downtime just as you would prioritize work-related tasks.

Enjoy the feeling of success and fulfillment that comes from seeing your career flourish. Remember to celebrate your professional achievements, no matter how big or small. After all, your professional journey is a reflection of your hard work, and it undoubtedly deserves recognition and celebration.

Ultimately, being single gives you the freedom to shape your career path in the way that suits you best. Isabelle, a successful solo entrepreneur, puts it nicely:

“One of the best things about being single is the flexibility to direct my career as I see fit. I can take risks, work late if I need to, or take a spontaneous business trip – all without the need to consult or compromise with a partner. For me, that’s truly liberating.”

So why not seize the opportunity? Step out of your comfort zone, take calculated risks, and allow your career to soar to new heights. Each step you take is an investment in your professional future and, by extension, your happiness.

how to be happy being single

Set and Achieve Personal Goals

Setting personal goals is a powerful tool for transforming dreams into achievable realities. Yet, when we’re part of a couple, our ambitions can sometimes sway to ‘pair’ goals. Being single affords you the unique opportunity to focus solely on your own objectives, aspirations, and timelines.

Start by acknowledging that your goals are not only valid but also achievable. Whether it’s mastering a new skill, pursuing an intriguing interest, or reaching a fitness milestone, these personal endeavours represent an investment in your own growth and happiness. Here’s how you can dabble into the art of goal-setting

Identify Your Goals

Ask yourself, “What do I want to achieve?”. Set authentic goals that truly resonate with your core values and interests. Jot them down and make them visible.

Break Them Down

Larger goals often seem intimidating. Break them down into smaller, attainable tasks. This helps in keeping you motivated and making consistent progress.

Create a Plan of Action

Make a structured and detailed plan. This includes the steps that need to be taken, resources that will be required, and a timeline for each task.

Stay Committed

Consistency is key when reaching for goals. Keep track of your actions, and celebrate each small victory along the way.

Evaluate and Adjust

Changes are a part of life. So, be flexible and open to adapt your strategies whenever needed. Monitoring your progress and recalibrating your plans ensures that you stay relevant and on course towards your goals.

Note: Patience is paramount. It’s important to remember that achieving personal goals takes time. So, keep a positive attitude, appreciate the journey, and stay committed to your purpose.

In conclusion, the singlehood phase of your life is an ideal time to truly discover what you want and set personalized goals accordingly. Focus on yourself, amplify your strengths, broaden your horizons, and live a life that aligns with your heart’s desires. Indeed, being single doesn’t mean being alone—but rather, it means being whole.

Take Control of Your Happiness

So, you’re single, and that’s fantastic! Because guess what? Happiness doesn’t come from a relationship. It’s a state of being that you create for yourself. This could be a tough idea to swallow, especially when society often connects happiness with being in a relationship. But remember, being single doesn’t make you any less complete or fulfilled. You are in the driver’s seat of your own happiness.

Begin by understanding and believing at your core that you are the sole designer of your joy. This empowering realization is the first step towards owning your happiness, free from the influence of others. Believe that staying single is a choice, not a sentence, and you can make it a delightful experience.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
– Dalai Lama

Take Small Steps

Start with small steps. Cultivate a daily routine that carves out time for self-care, hobbies, and things you love. Whether it’s a 20-minute workout, reading a book, or spending time in nature – make sure you do something every day that lights you up. Revisit your good times, celebrate your little victories, and reward yourself for the efforts you’ve put in. Remember, every small, positive action you take is a stepping-stone towards increased happiness.

Nourish All of You

Nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Remember that a healthy diet, regular exercise, and ample sleep are ingredients for a happy single life. Equally important is to have a compassionate conversation with yourself, practice mindfulness, and engage in activities that enrich your spirit. This might include yoga, meditation, affirmations, or even gardening!

  • Mind: Engage in activities that challenge and stimulate your brain. Learn a new language, solve puzzles, or read an enlightening book.
  • Body: Embrace a healthy lifestyle that includes a balanced diet, regular exercise, and proper rest. Take on new physical challenges such as a marathon or a hiking trail.
  • Spirit: Enrich your spirit by tuning into your inner self. You could practice regular meditation, get in touch with nature, or embark on a spiritual retreat.Want to be happy and single? Remember, it’s all about owning your independence, relishing your freedom, developing strong friendships, and pursuing your passions. It’s about personal growth, exploration, career advancement, and achieving your goals. The key to living a happy single life is loving yourself, being comfortable in your solitude, and taking control of your happiness. There’s a whole world out there waiting for you. Go, live your best single life!

Practice Gratitude and Appreciation

Happiness can blossom from a simple act of acknowledging the good in your life. Gratitude is a powerful tool that has a profound impact on our mental health. Through the lens of gratitude, every experience can be transformed into an opportunity to learn, grow, and be thankful.

To be grateful is to celebrate the small joys in life, and often, it’s the small things that make the biggest difference. Time spent under the twinkling stars, your morning tea ritual, or even a hearty laugh with a dear friend. Being single doesn’t mean these moments are any less special or enjoyable. In fact, it gives you a chance to genuinely appreciate these moments without any distractions.

But how, you might ask, can you integrate gratitude into your daily routine? Here are a few actionable steps.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

At the end of each day, jot down a few things you are grateful for. This practice redirects your focus onto the positives in your life and can leave you feeling uplifted and resilient.

Express Appreciation

Did a friend or coworker help you out today? Let them know you appreciate it. Not only does this strengthen your relationships, but it also enables the spread of positivity.

Gratitude Meditation

This involves deep breathing and focusing your thoughts on all the things you are thankful for. It’s a wonderfully calming practice that can help foster feelings of contentment and satisfaction.

Write a Thank-you Note

Write a note to someone who has made a difference in your life. Expressing gratitude can have a positive effect on both you, and the recipient of your note.

Aside from gratitude, appreciation of your own efforts is crucial too. When was the last time you praised yourself for a job well done, or simply surviving a tough day? Self-appreciation can boost your confidence, improve your self-esteem, and ultimately, increase your happiness.

Remember that any progress, no matter how small, is a stepping stone towards a more content and enriched life. The journey of being happily single entails both acknowledging the good around you and within you. So go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back for every victory, every goal achieved, and every step taken in your personal journey.

In sum, to find happiness in singlehood, bear an attitude of gratitude and self-appreciation. The act of reflecting on your blessings and achievements can help cultivate happiness from within and illuminate your solitary journey with sparks of joy.

Find Balance in Your Life

Balancing your life often means harmoniously managing different aspects such as career, hobbies, time spent with friends and family, and me-time. As a single person, you have the unique advantage of being the master of your own schedule without having to cater to another person’s needs or preferences regularly. But how do you find this balance?

Self-Awareness is Key

Understanding what makes you tick, what re-energizes you, what wears you down – these are all crucial pieces of information you can use to set up your life in a way that feels balanced and fulfilling. Paying attention to your emotional and physical health can provide important clues about what balance looks like for you.

Next, remember that balance does not mean equal time. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you are spending eight hours working, you need an equivalent eight hours to ‘play’. But that’s not necessarily the case. The focus should be on maintaining a sound mind and a healthy body.

Sometimes, finding balance in life might mean saying ‘no’. Being single can sometimes push you to fill in your schedule so you don’t feel alone. It’s crucial to understand that it’s perfectly okay to turn down invitations when you’re feeling overwhelmed and need time for rest or personal growth.

Here’s a suggestion: keep a journal. Note how different activities make you feel, how other people influence your mood, what leaves you energized versus what leaves you drained. This constant self-evaluation can help you discover patterns and understand how you can achieve balance.

Keep it Real

Finally, keep a realistic perspective. Achieving balance is more of a journey than a destination. Sometimes you will lean too far one way and have to adjust. And that’s completely fine. The most important thing is that you’re aware of it and willing to make the necessary changes.

Being single provides a terrific opportunity to explore and define what your own personal balance looks like. So, embrace this ‘me-time’, use it wisely and remember – you are in control of your own happiness!

How to Be Happy Being Single: Wrapping Up

Let’s review the principles and strategies we’ve delved into on how to embrace singleness with joy and positivity. Understand, being single is not a curse or a lesser status. Instead, it’s a unique period in your life which offers an enormous amount of possibilities and freedom if you learn to approach it in the right spirit.

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” – Margaret Lee Runbeck

Enjoy Your Freedom

Your journey to relishing your single status starts with recognizing the independence you enjoy. You have the freedom to make your own decisions, explore various aspects of life, and find your individualised path without having to account for anyone’s satisfaction but your own.

Build that Support System

The next step focuses on forming a strong support system that includes meaningful friendships. Your loved ones, family, and friends, are there to share your ups and downs, offering emotional balance when needed.

  • Discovering your passions and focusing on personal growth is vital. Not only does this lead to self-fulfillment, but it also gives you a purpose and helps you develop a clear understanding of who you truly are.
  • Travel and exploration are powerful tools to broaden your perspectives and to teach you more about yourself and the world. Remember, different places, cultures, and experiences can provide invaluable life lessons.
  • Don’t forget to celebrate your achievements. They are evidence of your hard work and determination.
  • The freedom of singlehood gives you leverage to take advantage of career opportunities. You can focus, take on challenging projects, and climb your career ladder with less personal distractions.

Go After Some Great Goals

Another critical factor to happiness is being proactive about setting and achieving personal goals. These can range from health and fitness targets to educational accomplishments. Take control of your happiness by actively contributing to your wellbeing every single day.

Practice Gratitude

Lastly, practice gratitude and appreciation. Be thankful for what you have, appreciate the freedoms you enjoy, and you’ll discover how being single can be a journey permeated with joy. Find balance in your life by equilibrating between self-love, personal growth, and social interaction.

In conclusion, being single is an opportunity to learn, grow, and discover yourself. Remember, happiness is self-created. With these strategies, we hope you’ll embark on a fulfilling journey of self-love, personal growth, and endless exploration.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

How to Choose Between Two Guys | Making the Right Choice

How to Choose Between Two Guys | Making the Right Choice

You’re facing a difficult decision – how to choose between two guys. How are you supposed to let one of them go? I’m here to help you today with this difficult decision.

One important consideration is compatibility. Assess how well you get along with each guy, your shared interests, and whether your personalities are complementary. Compatability isn’t just about having things in common, but also about how well you manage disagreements and differences.

Something else to consider is how much respect each man shows you. You are a beautiful woman who deserves nothing but respect from any person in your life. Mutual respect is a fundamental element of every relationship, so noting how he treats you and others around him will help you make this difficult choice. Also consider whether he respects your boundaries or crashes them. A man who truly loves and respects you doesn’t bust through your boundaries.

Also ask yourself if either man is willing to make the commitment you desire. Do you want to date but he wants marriage? Maybe you want marriage or kids but he doesn’t. It’s important to find these things out before you decide.

Emotional intelligence is something else to consider. How well does he understand and manage his own emotions. How well does he show empathy toward others? A guy with high emotional intelligence is more understanding, supportive, and able to handle conflict in a healthy way.

And finally, listen to your intuition. It rarely steers you wrong! This is a very big decision and you may feel very emotional thinking about it, but it’s important to set aside your emotions because logic and high emotion can’t co-exist. Your instincts are running more on logic than emotion. They’re picking up cues you may miss.

choose between two guys

Understanding Your Emotional Quotient: A Must When Choosing Between Two Men

Your Emotional Quotient (EQ) is a key player in life’s most significant decisions – including choosing between two guys. Putting this type of emotional intelligence to work helps you navigate the often tricky terrain of romantic decision-making.

This is where the concept of emotional intensity comes into play. A degree of similarity in emotional intensity can heavily influence compatibility. This doesn’t mean that if you’re an emotionally intense person, you should strictly stick with those who are the same. But it suggests that common emotional ground boosts mutual understanding and empathy, which lead to a happier relationship.

Just like men who often choose a partner focused on stability over compatibility, it’s easy to disregard the nuances of personality and intelligence. These decisions may lead to unstable relationships with minimal chances of longevity. Look beyond the convenience a compatible schedule may seem to offer and dive deeper to understand your connection’s strength and potential for growth.

Also, consider the aspect of emotional alignment. Are you both attuned to each other’s feelings? This is important and contributes to a deep and fulfilling connection. The importance of psychological similarity or diversity, support and complicity, competition, spontaneity, self-control, tenderness and the range of other attributes all play a key role in romantic satisfaction.

Partner choice isn’t a simple conscious decision. Subconscious motivations greatly influence this complex interaction. Physical attraction, for instance, while controversial in its importance, can show compatibility.

Don’t underestimate the value of security in your decision-making. Anxious feelings might make you consider finding someone better. However, a relationship boasting emotional openness and care can put to rest those concerns. Remember, women tend to value psychological and sexual compatibility as important while a man’s inclination can be more centered towards the active sexual compatability.

Casting the Coins: The Art of Comparing Your Feelings for Both Men

It’s important to remember that assessing your feelings isn’t a cold-hearted calculation. Rather, it’s a compassionate exploration. It involves a nuanced understanding of your emotions and their relative intensities for both men.

Dr. Edward Hoffman’s research on compatibility in long-term relationships underscored the importance of emotional intensity. So, you should ask yourself: Do both men match your emotional intensity? With whom do your positive feelings peak, and where do they deepen or simmer? This comparison process should be an honest and introspective journey.

Your affection for the two guys in question may have different flavors. One might appeal to your sense of camaraderie, the other guy’s sophistication may make your heart flutter. One might spark feelings of tender support, while the other excites a thrilling challenge. Both dimensions have value, so consider the balance you want in your life.

Whether it’s love at first sight, as depicted in popular films, or a slow-growing companionship, each narrative has its unique allure. Again, it’s not about a projected ideal—but about your individual experience. What romantic narratives resonate most with you, and where do you see these narratives reflected in your relationships with these two men?

Also consider the personal characteristics of each man. Avoid conforming to predefined societal expectations about the “ideal” partner. Recognize the value of aligning emotionally and being attuned to each other’s feelings. This kind of deep connection is priceless.

Love isn’t a competition or race. Although competitiveness might color the situation, you can’t devalue the uniqueness of either man. Don’t lose sight of their sense of self in pursuing your affection.

Don’t rush decisions. Take time to understand and articulate your emotions. In this pivotal process, make sure you choose someone who brings you joy and enriches your life.

Making the Right Choice: The Essential Checklist

When confronted with having to choose between two guys, a helpful strategy is to use an ultimate checklist to organize your thoughts. This approach goes far beyond natural chemistry, looks, or even romance. Instead, it focuses on compatibility – the secret ingredient that binds a relationship steadily over time. It might come as a surprise, but many elements of compatibility are rooted in areas you might underestimate.

Comparable Values

One major component to consider is aligning values. Similar values in significant areas like personal beliefs, family, career, and lifestyle may indicate a level of compatibility that can lead to a fruitful relationship. This similarity ensures that both parties share common ground which is so important in decision-making processes, and in life-changing situations or arguments that may arise in the future.

Reciprocal Compatibility

The concept of reciprocal compatibility is something else to consider. Imagine a scenario where both you and your potential partner can meet each other’s needs and desires, and feel fulfilled and satisfied in doing so. It’s one of those factors that anchor a relationship through thick and thin, creating a sturdy bond that allows you both to blossom.

The 12 Pillars of Compatibility

There are 12 main points of compatibility in relationships: need for companionship, idealism, emotional intensity, spontaneity, libido, nurturance, materialism, extroversion, aestheticism, activity level, subjective well-being, and intellectualism. Do you align in these subjects with either guy? These key points offer vast insights into your potential union and boost your confidence about the longevity and satisfaction of the relationship.

Remember, the choice of a partner is guided by subconscious motivations that play an essential role in the interaction with a potential partner. Also, it’s important to consider potential partners based on their personal characteristics, rather than conforming to pre-defined individual or social expectations. It’s not a simple process, but rest assured, using these factors can simplify your decision-making process.

choose between two guys

Analyzing Long-Term Goals: A Key Factor in Decision Making

As you flip the metaphorical coin or weigh your feelings towards both guys, it’s so important to use foresight and consider long-term goals. It’s not merely about the here and now but what lies ahead. Compatibility in the light of long-term goals can essentially make or break the relationship. Key factors include not just professional ambitions, but personal aspirations, lifestyle choices, and expectations about family life too.

Dr. Edward Hoffman conducted studies that show that the successful long-term couple is one where the partners’ aspirations and dreams align. Is one of these men thinking about stability and family, while the other is more into a dynamic lifestyle and endless adventures? These aren’t trivial matters to brush aside. They form the cornerstone of a shared life and the vision of a common future.

Additionally, it’s crucial to understand that human preferences and desirable traits might take the front-seat in conscious thought, but the choice of a long-term partner, in reality, is guided also by subconscious triggers. Our biological, psychological, and behavioral patterns play significant roles in our interactions with potential partners. So, don’t forget to listen to your instincts while making this decision.

Finally, remember that although individuals may have a natural propension for stable long-term relationships, the desire for variety can also be a factor, particularly in men. Considering these feelings in the context of your relationship is important in securing the adaptive advantages of shared life, partnership and co-parenting. In the end, the choice you make has to connect with your life goals, your heart’s deepest desires, and the vision you hold for your future self.

Friends and Family’s Opinion: How Much Weight Should They Hold

Many times, you find yourself stuck in the milky way of emotions and unable to understand clear signs. In these situations, your social circle – primarily your friends and family – can provide valuable perspectives. However, your decision should not be primarily dictated by them, but should serve to clarify and confirm what you already feel. They offer an external perspective, and while they may be close to you, only you can truly determine what is best for you.

The very essence of their value lies in the diversity of views they provide, closely linked to social influence. Their perspectives can help you understand aspects you may have missed or overlooked. Remember, however, that external opinions are not absolute decrees. They should be considered, but never let them overrule your personal feelings and intuitions. The ultimate goal is your happiness!

Analyzing Similar Activity Levels: Compatible or Incompatible?

One highly overlooked thing when you’re torn between two potential partners is comparing your activity levels. Often, two people who enjoy similar levels of activity, whether it’s a shared love for outdoor adventures or a mutual appreciation for quiet movie nights at home, find greater harmony in their relationship. It’s important to consider where both guys fall on this spectrum to determine how well you’d mesh in terms of day-to-day life.

Stability over Uncertainty: Assessing Long-term Potential

Longevity in a relationship is often grounded on a stable foundational understanding between two people. When you choose between two guys, honestly assess the stability of each potential relationship. Consider the level of emotional intelligence, compatibility, common interests, mutual respect, and importantly, security you feel with them. How often do you quibble over trivial matters? Do your visions for the future align? These considerations will help you assess the stability and potential longevity of your relationship with each man.

Actionable Support: A Testament of True Love

One key thing that often gets overshadowed in the drama of choosing between two men is the level of support each man provides. This is not limited to emotional support, it extends to mutual encouragement, shared ambitions, and their willingness to stand by you during difficult times. The man who truly cherishes your well-being will not just preach about his love; instead, he will turn his words into supportive actions. If one man proves significantly more supportive and encouraging than the other, this may significantly influence your decision.

Social Approval: A Boon or A Bane?

Dealing with societal approval or disapproval can be a tightrope walk. On one hand, caring too much about the opinion of others can sometimes cloud your judgment and lead you to make a choice that isn’t true to your feelings. On the other hand, completely disregarding social acceptance could lead to strained relationships with your closest friends and family members. It’s important to consider the weight of social approval in your decision, but remember, you are the captain of your love life’s ship.

Don’t take it lightly when you choose between two men. Armed with the right introspection techniques, awareness of your values, long-term goals, friends and family’s well-intentioned input, and drawing upon your personal insight, you will be well-equipped to make the best decision for you. Trust your instincts, consider your options carefully, and remember – your happiness should be the top priority.

Common Interests Vs. Opposites Attract: What Works Best for You

You’ve heard the saying “opposites attract,” but you may believe that common interests foster stronger ties. While each idea has merits, they both play a role in shaping relationships that shouldn’t be overlooked.

The age-old premise of ‘opposites attract’ is based on intrigue and excitement sparked by finding someone unlike you. This leads to a thrilling journey of mutual growth as you experience the unfamiliar and expand your perspectives.

However, be careful because contrary characteristics and philosophies can lead to differences too great to overcome. When this happens, it becomes a battleground rather than a playground.

Alternatively, common interests offer a platform for shared experiences and conversations, which creates a bond of camaraderie and mutual understanding. These shared interests may be anything from shared hobbies and values to similar long-term goals, and they serve as a glue that bonds you together. Yet, too much common ground may breed monotony, stifling individual growth and spontaneity.

Finding the right balance is determined by your innate preference and temperament. Are you more driven by novelty and exploration, or does security and relatability comfort you more? It’s not a choice between two extremes, but rather identifying where you comfortably sit on the spectrum.

Regardless of where you land, remember that respect for differences, open communication, shared values, and mutual support are fundamental aspects of any successful relationship. So, while being drawn to an opposite or shared interest might have lured you into a relationship, maintaining it thrivingly will depend on these underlying shared values and respect for each other.

Ultimately, the choice is yours. So, ask yourself, “What works best for me?” As you travel the path of love, remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Embrace the journey with an open heart, accepting and learning from every twist, turn, and detour.

choose between two guys

Decoding Chemistry: The Silent Factor in Your Decision

Decoding the intangible yet palpable force of chemistry between you and your potential partner can be a critical part of your decision-making process. Often, it’s this invisible bond that silently ties you together, significantly influencing your attraction to each other. Chemistry goes far deeper than just physical attraction, though it can certainly start there.

Countless studies have demonstrated that physical attraction plays a significant role in early stage compatibility. This initial surge of attraction can stimulate the growing bond between you and your prospective partner. However, remember not to use physical attraction as the sole determinant for compatibility. Relationships founded solely in aesthetics can often dissolve over time when partners discover deceptive or unreliable elements in each other. Instead, look for a mixture of the biophysical signals and stability.

Moving beyond the physical, your chemistry may also involve a shared sense of humor, similar intellectual levels, and mutual understanding. In fact, having similar levels of intellectuality can have a profound effect on how easily you communicate, making your interactions more seamless, meaningful, and ultimately, fulfilling.

Consider all this as you assess the chemistry between you and each man vying for your affection. Remember, physical attraction might provide the spark, but the fuel to sustain a lasting flame relies heavily on emotional, intellectual, and overall personal compatibility. By consciously considering these factors, you can navigate this potentially perplexing choice with a greater sense of clarity and purpose.

Are You Being Fair? The Ethics of Deciding Between Two Men

To choose between two guys is never easy. Balancing your own happiness with the feelings of the two men involved requires sensitivity, honesty, and a healthy dose of reality.

The idea of mediating a competition between two men might be thrilling in a fleeting moment. However, remember that each person in this decision-making process has emotions, aspirations, and insecurities.

Start with honesty: Be transparent with both of them. They deserve to know the situation they’re in. After all, the foundation of any lasting relationship is trust and open communication.

Consider the golden rule. In the complex dance of human mating choices and preferences, ask how you would feel if you were on the other side of the equation. How would you feel if you were one of two options a man was choosing from?

While the cultural focus is often on finding the ‘one’, this one-dimensional view can miss the dynamic nature of relationships. The ‘one’ is not just about shared likes or wants, but also about understanding, accepting and loving the flaws in your partner. Relationships are less about finding a perfect match, but about embracing the imperfections in each other and building a strong bond despite the differences.

Finally, consider the impact of your decision on people involved. Male orientation towards sexual variety can pose a challenge to the socio-cultural norm of monogamy, threatening long-term stability. Each man’s ability to be in a serious, long-term relationship should be an important element of your decision-making process.

Love is not a contest, it’s a journey. Remember, being morally responsible doesn’t mean sacrificing your happiness. Make the choice that works best for you, treating both men with empathy and respect. After all, a decision made with kindness and consideration is a good decision indeed.

Facing the Fear of Regret: Overcoming the ‘What Ifs’ in Your Decision

Choosing between two guys is overwhelming, with uncertainty and potential regrets. You wonder, “What if I choose the wrong guy?” or “What if, after I choose, I find out that the other man was the right?” You may freeze up, terrified of the regrets that might come chasing after the wrong decision.

Well, regret is a component of every decision you make. What’s important is how you learn from regret, adjust your perspective, and move forward. Remember, even a wrong choice can lead to growth and life-enriching experiences.

Often, anxious feelings about finding someone better and more perfect arise, but no one is perfect. This quest for perfection leads you on an endless search, while true love lies in accepting imperfections of others. A guy who’s emotionally open, accepting, and caring eases your anxieties. Sometimes good enough is better than perfect.

Every decision in life involves giving up one thing in favor of another, and this is no different. Evaluating priorities, identifying what you value most in a relationship, and making compromises will help.

Do you value intellectual compatibility over physical attraction? Is long-term stability more important than infatuation and passion? Understanding your own values helps you compare them against the strengths and weaknesses of both men and make a choice best for you.

Ultimately, the choice between two potential partners isn’t just about who they are, but about who you are when you’re with them, the subconscious motivations guiding you, the experiences you share, and the emotional and spiritual growth each relationship provides.

Love Languages: How They Impact Your Choice

Consider this scenario – one of your potential beaus displays affection through thoughtful gifts, while the other’s love shines through deep conversations and quality time together. Without proper understanding, it might seem confusing, but let’s unravel the mystery by introducing Love Languages.

Conceptualized by Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five primary love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. These essentially represent how we express and interpret love. It can be helpful in figuring out not just how you prefer to be loved, but what expressions of love resonate most with your suitors.

As you choose between two guys, understanding their love languages could be a game-changer. By aligning your expectations, improving communication, and promoting emotional alignment, a knowledge of love languages can greatly influence your choice.

Deciphering and Aligning Love Languages

Deciphering your potential partner’s love language can give you an insight into what makes them feel truly appreciated. For instance, if one of these men highly values quality time, while your personal love language is more inclined towards acts of service, you may clash in the long run if you both feel your emotional needs are not being met.

Compatibility happens when respective love languages – both yours and his – align, or when you’re both willing to understand and reciprocate the other’s love language. If both partners are committed to meeting each other’s emotional needs, the resulting emotional bond can foster a deep connection that outweighs surface-level attractions.

Love Languages and Long-Term Compatibility

Beyond present attractions and interests, the compatibility of love languages can be a predictor of long-term sustainability. Emotional intensity, for instance, can be deeply tied to love languages. Having similar levels of emotional intensity and expectations of love can provide solid ground for your relationship’s foundation, promoting compatibility and harmony in your prospective partnership.

Love languages are not just about love and affection. They are linguistic tools that enhance emotional intelligence, the bedrock for sustaining a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship. Now, as you choose between your two options, consider the love languages at play. It’s not just about who ‘speaks’ your language, but also who is willing to learn it. Happy choosing!

Wrapping Up: How to Choose Between Two Guys

It’s time to pull everything together and move toward a decision. You’ve examined your emotions, compared your feelings, and poured over the checklist. You’ve considered both your long-term goals and those of the men in question, and you’ve deliberated the potential roles of friends and family. Additionally, you’ve thought about activity levels, long-term potential, true love, and social approval. Conflicting concepts like common interests versus opposites attracting, the role of chemistry, and even the ethics of the situation have been weighed.

You’re now better equipped to choose between two men. It’s important to remember that your choice is subjective and relies heavily on your individual preferences and the particular social context you find yourself in. It’s about finding your balance between physical attraction and emotional compatibility, between stability and excitement, and between shared interests and appealing differences.

The best advice is to stay true to yourself. In the end, your decision should reflect your deepest desires, your values, and your vision for your future. So, trust your instinct. It might seem intimidating at first, but remember, your subconscious motivations often guide you in the right direction, especially when it comes to interacting with potential partners.

Lastly, keep in mind that this decision is not a competition. It’s about you and choosing the person who most aligns with who you are, where you want to go in life, and who will be there alongside you – cheering you on, sharing in your joys, and providing support in the face of challenges. Trust yourself, and remember: you have the power to make the choice that will bring joy and fulfillment to your life.

Don’t you think you’ve dated enough losers? Isn’t it time to find a great guy to date? Maybe you think you already have!

This book will help you know for sure! You’ll go in-depth on the good and bad qualities to look for in a man so you an know for sure.

End the guessing game and Weed out the Users!

Yes, I’m a guy, but that’s where your source of power comes from! I approach dating from the male perspective, helping you know what men are thinking!

You’ve been listening to your girlfriends, your mom and your sisters and where has it gotten you so far?
Failed relationships, frustration and loneliness, right? And you’re sick of it!
I know what men want to hear from you and I tell you what that is!
I’ve survived being the youngest of four kids with three older sisters.
I have seen heartbreak first hand and I’ve experienced heartbreak first hand in my own relationships.
I know what I wish my girlfriends would have said and done. I know why it didn’t work. I’ve done the research and now, I’m bringing it to you.
I’m here for you.
A Million People Never Met Last Night

A Million People Never Met Last Night

Will I ever find love? When will I meet my soulmate? And why haven’t I yet?

I get asked these questions often and it made me start to wonder why people are still single when they shouldn’t be.

On Saturday nights, I enjoy going out to watch the dating world unfold. On Sunday mornings, I often wonder, how many people didn’t meet last night.

Sometimes, my watching is at a bar while other times it’s at a wine-tasting, a fair or a charity event. I engage women and act as if I know nothing. I observe their behavior to uncover friction points and help them. After I get to know them, I share that I’m a dating and life coach.

It’s amazing and at the same time, sad. I see men and women lacking the skills to approach one another with any success.

Will I ever find love?

This excludes the player, who is working the room, succeeding with women who are clueless to his true intentions.

Will I ever find love

Will I ever find love?

The good guy is too shy to approach the woman he’s interested in and when he finally does drink enough courage to approach, she shoots him down because he fumbles his words. Little does she know she should be rooting for him, not sending him away.

I watch men stand in line for ice cream, ogling the attractive woman ahead of him but too shy or afraid to say anything to her. I see him wanting to say something but instead, his fear paralyzes him and he says nothing. She retreats, licking her ice cream. He’s left licking his wounds.

Why!? I believe there are several reasons for these potential relationships to never materialize.

Technology

Technology removed your ability to approach and engage a man in conversation. Why approach a stranger when you can sit online and look at profiles all night?

It’s sad to see people on a date, both texting away on their phones at something seemingly more entertaining or interesting than the person across from them.

I came from a different generation. I don’t want to sound old but, in my day, I had to pick up the phone and call a girl if I was interested in her. There was a fear of being shot down but if I wanted to date her, I had to ask.

Technology depersonalizes dating. You scroll through dozens of profiles, find a few you’re interested in and send smiles, winks or messages. There is very little risk and no human contact.

Confidence

The issue in dating and meeting new people is low self-esteem and confidence. Even the pickup artist doesn’t have a lot of confidence in himself or he would seek meaningful, long-term relationships.

Childhood delivers brutal blows. Acne, not making the varsity team and the awkwardness of puberty beat you up, as does peer pressure. Add to that the desire to date a guy who’s out of your league and you’re sitting in class, fanning a cold sweat.

Now, you begin dating and experience the inevitable breakups. If the relationship ending is brutal, you walk away with your confidence needing resuscitation.

Since most people lack the skills to rebuild their confidence themselves, they traipse through life, relationship after relationship, dinging their confidence a little more each time.

It’s no wonder nobody was brave enough to at least say “Hi” last night!

Body Language

When you’re out with friends, use body language to your advantage.  Avoid standing huddled with friends. This doesn’t say “Welcome” to a guy who’s nervous to begin with. Walking with your head down, shoulders shrugged and eyes focused on your phone isn’t inviting to an interested man either.

Your body language should be inviting. Stand facing the room with your shoulders square and head up. Make eye contact with others in the room and let them know you’re approachable. If you’re sitting at a table, save a seat next to you, leaving an unspoken invitation for someone to approach.

An innocent, accidental brush up against a man’s arm or a quick comment like “Don’t you love that new chardonnay?” can give him the courage he needs to respond or approach at a later time.

Compartmentalized Social Lives

will I ever find love

It’s time to develop some new meeting skills!

How long you spend trying to meet someone new each week? One or two hours, right? This is compartmentalizing your social life. Weekends are for looking for a mate. Week days are for working and maybe a girls night.

You miss opportunities at the grocery store, gas station, gym or church to meet special someone. Sure, you might see someone you’re interested in, but you tell yourself that’s not the place to meet someone.

The same tactics that work across a bar work over bins of tomatoes and cucumbers. Pass by or barely touch his arm, making an off-hand comment like “I can just see these strawberries topping off my margarita later”. This opens the door to further communication and helps a shy guy who is afraid to make the first move.

How Can You Make A Course Correction?

Check Your Inhibitions At The Door

Will I find Love

Check Your Inhibitions At The Door

My friend, Mike was 100% uninhibited. He’d walk up to a girl, or group of girls and say the craziest things. Those watching would sometimes feel embarrassed for him but the girls loved him! He was the one we all secretly wanted to be – uninhibited and living life without worrying about what others think.

I learned something from Mike because I’m like that today. I’m the guy who’ll fearlessly approach a group of women. I enjoy observing their response and getting to know them.

When you’re confident, you’re able to realize your own value. You can approach one guy or a group of guys and not be worried about what they’ll think or whether or not you’ll crash and burn.

You recognize that you’re worthy and have something to contribute and share with another.

How Do You Reduce Your Inhibitions?

Take small steps toward an ultimate goal. Don’t expect to jump into the deep end. Make a goal of simply saying hello to one stranger tomorrow.

Just say “Hello” with a smile. One of two things will happen – they’ll reply or ignore you. Tell yourself it doesn’t matter. You won that round. You broke out of your shell.

After a day or two, ramp things up. String together something like, “That shirt is really great!” That’s it. Don’t go into it with the expectation of a love affair. Just make a kind comment to a stranger.

This is desensitization. You slowly face your fear and reduce the associated anxiety by creeping up on absolving it. You’re not trying to conquer the world, just your little corner. Face your fear and get rid of it!

But What If They Don’t Respond?

People will respond, but if they don’t, who cares! This is where you have to check your negative self-talk at the door. Rather than internalize a lack of response, tell yourself either they’re too busy, too engrossed, too shy or unfriendly. None of those have anything to do with you.

Here’s the cool part. Most will respond. People want to talk. Many times, they’re too shy to initiate the conversation or engrossed in what they’re doing and just don’t notice you.

Now, approaching that hot guy at the wine tasting doesn’t make you sweat through your dress shields. You can confidently walk up to him, sniff your glass of wine and say “Hmm, fruity with a hint of arrogance!” Laugh at your own joke while he laughs along with you.

Learn To Understand Men

I want love

Learn to Understand Men!

Understanding men is paramount to confidently approaching the right man and getting his attention. The male mind is different than the female mind and yet few women take the time to understand the difference.

You able to communicate better with a man when you understand how his mind works. You’re more confident because of your deeper knowledge of what’s gone wrong in past relationships.

Women think men are confident and strong. It’s his job to approach and initiate a conversation. Yet, the good guys are often fearful. Men are strong but we still fear being shot down, especially in front of friends.

If a man sees opportunity for failure, he’s less likely to try. You have to be stronger, at least at first. Root for the guy who fumbles his words. Silently cheer him on. Smile at him, be patient and kind. If he’s struggling that much, he’s into you.

Don’t Become One Of My Statistics!

Will I ever find love? When will I meet my soulmate? And why haven’t I yet?

I challenge you not to become one of the millions of people who never met last night. Change your body language, build up your courage and confidence and make yourself more approachable to the right guy. He’s watching you and he wants to come over and say “Hi”, he’s just shaking in his boxers at the thought of it!

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change?

Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change?

Dating Men Who Can’t Love

You’ve asked the question that led you here for a reason – you suspect you’re dating or married to an emotionally unavailable man who can’t love.

You’ve twirled your hair into circles, chewed your nails and cried to your friends until they’ve stopped talking to you about him.

Still. The answer is elusive. Will your emotionally unavailable man change?

The truth is that unless he wants to change, the odds are against you.

Why tell you this so early on in the article?

Because, I want you to understand more about an emotionally unavailable man so you can make the necessary changes in your own life moving forward.

I know you firmly believe that if you change something, he will be motivated to change.

How many times have you said this, to yourself or someone else, “If I could just…”. Fill in the blank:

  • If I could just make him see how great we are together
  • If I could just understand why he’s closed off to me
  • If I could just dig into that sensitive brain of his

And, perhaps the most dangerous,

  • If I could just change him

This man is an adult, he is not a child. And change does not come easy to an adult. When you see an emotionally unavailable man, you often immediately perceive him as childlike. Perhaps he is, but this shouldn’t be your automatic assumption.

And so what if he is. Do you really want to date a man-child? Don’t you deserve a man who acts like an adult?

Of course you do!

Let’s dig into emotionally unavailable men and see what we can unearth in our expedition.

It’s Different in Men and Women

Since boys and girls are raised differently when it comes to emotions, it stands to reason that emotionally unavailable men and women have different characteristics.

As you will see, there are overlapping traits, but for the most part, men and women are different.

While a woman can be open with someone and still be emotionally unavailable, for men, it is the openness that is part of the problem.

Yes, being emotionally unavailable is about not being able to engage emotionally, but a man is more likely to shy away from the discomfort of emotions he isn’t familiar with or make him uncomfortable.

It impedes his ability to connect and grow a relationship into deeper and deeper intimacy.

A healthy relationship continues to build emotional depth but if one or both parties are emotionally unavailable, there is no emotional depth.

Emotionally Unavailable Men Characteristics

He Doesn’t Like to Talk About Deep Topics

An emotionally unavailable man doesn’t want to engage in any conversation where feelings are involved. This not only applies to his feelings of love for you, but also to his feelings of pain, shame or guilt, to name a few.

In fact, this guy has become the master of ignoring his negative emotions. When you might expect him to feel sad, as in the death of a loved one, he is stoic and seems unengaged.

When he does show emotion is when someone tries to climb over or dig under the emotional wall he has built. He won’t tolerate intruders.

An emotionally unavailable man exhibiting this characteristic can be tricky to spot. He might show you glimpses of emotion from time to time, but rest assured, he will pull back quickly enough!

He’s Hot and Cold

emotionally unavailable men
Emotionally unavailable men will sometimes text you, all day, every day for a few weeks. You get the feeling he’s totally into you.
Sex is great and everything seems hunky dory.
Then, like a tidal wave, the silence hits.
You can’t get him to respond, even if you tease him with a sexy text. He seems to be MIA.
Of course, just when you’re about to give up, Mr. Hot and Cold will return, hotter than ever, reassuring you (in your own mind) that everything is fine. This was all your imagination.
This pattern will continue infinitely.
As frustrating as it is, I beg you not to blame yourself. He isn’t dashing away because of anything you’re doing. He’s just had as much display of emotion as he can handle for a few weeks.

He’s Suffering a Loss

A man who has recently suffered a devastating loss is going to be emotionally unavailable. The good news is that this reason may pass with time, if he was emotionally available before.
Most of the time.
Loss is difficult for men to deal with and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
Men feel a sense of loss if they lose a job, don’t get a promotion, get demoted, lose a loved one (including a pet) or even lose a prized possession like that Corvette he had to get rid of because he can’t afford the insurance, now that he has a family.
A man needs to crawl into his man cave and deal with these things on his own. He will come out, eventually, ready to love again, if he is able to deal with the loss.

He’s Married or in a Committed Relationship

A man may be looking for a hookup, but he doesn’t want to come off as that guy, so he fakes his feelings to woo you in.
While this is totally scumbag material and I make no excuses for my gender, it’s still true.
emotionally unavailable men characteristics

A married or committed guy will be emotionally unavailable when he is not.

Oh, he might say he wants to be with you, but things never come to be.

He is guarding his emotions because he’s already in a committed relationship. You are something he has, on the side, to feel like he’s in chase mode again or to find challenge.

When a man won’t reveal his relationship status to you or seems to be evasive when it comes to meeting family or friends, you might want to do some digging.

Men Who Can’t Love | He is Conveniently Missing during Your Times of Need

Where was Mr. Wonderful when your grandma died?

When you had to take your 15 year old dog to the vet to be put down, where was he?

When you’re experiencing highly emotional times, is he there?

No?

That’s because he doesn’t want to deal with your emotional moments any more than he wants to deal with his own.

Other times this guy will be unavailable include the time you need someone to change your flat tire or put together your new bookshelves.

I often tell women men show their love. A man who loves you will not only change your tire for you, he’ll drive your car to the dealership to get a new one.

The same guy will put your shelf together, fix your plumbing leak or do anything else to help you.

Is He the Master of Excuses?

Does he make plans with you, only to flake and not show up?

Then, after you spend hours trying to text and call him, you finally give up, deciding he’s dead on the side of the road somewhere.

Oh, he’s dead alright. Emotionally dead.

This guy disappears but, when he resurfaces, there is always some elaborate excuse. Not only did his dog die but Fido did it in glorious fashion.

emotionally broken

Or his best friend’s ex wife showed up on his doorstep and he just had to be there for him.

Perhaps his kid had an emergency that required his undivided attention…but for hours, days or weeks?

No. This guy panicked and flaked on you. Period.

Things got too close, he started feeling something and BAM he needed to get out of it and fast!

Is He Quick to Blame or Anger?

Blaming is the emotionally unavailable man’s game. Nothing is his fault.

You expect too much of him – it isn’t that he can’t give. It’s your fault.

You shouldn’t have asked him to help you. You know he’s super busy. You’re disappointment is your own fault.

Nothing he does is his own responsibility.

This includes his angry outbursts when someone tries to permeate the wall he has built around himself.

Why am I Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men

You too are Emotionally Unavailable

The painful truth you may need to face is that you too might be emotionally unavailable. Likes attract likes. We attract into our lives those who are most like us.

A relationship between two emotionally unavailable people is just about as dysfunctional as it can be. The good news for you is that it’s also rare.

Your intentions may be honorable. You may truly love him and he you, but if neither of you is emotionally unavailable, the love doesn’t matter. You will never connect deeply.

How do you respond to these questions:

  • Do you shy away from conflict?
  • Does your life feel as if it’s in a constant state of chaos?
  • Are you a workaholic?
  • Do you, yourself, avoid commitment?
  • Do you feel as if you don’t even know who you are any longer?
  • Do you develop bonds with people? Do you invest your emotions in someone else?
  • Do you love yourself?
  • Have you just exited a relationship?
  • Do you use perfectionism to cut people out of your life? They just don’t hit the mark so they’re out…
  • Do you behave elusively? You drop out of plans last minute, refuse to commit until the last minute? Are you known as the one nobody can count on to show up?

If you responded “Yes” to a few of these, you may have your answer.

You are an Emotional Chaser

confused man

An emotional chaser is someone who chases love and affection from men who can’t love and never finds it. You invest time and energy in men who are only partially interested or capable of a real relationship.

When you are an emotional chaser, you:

  • Fall for men who will cheat on you, won’t commit and refuse to settle down
  • Are emotionally committed to the relationship while he is not, regardless of how hard you try
  • Believe the men you date are more desirable than you are
  • Live in a constant state of fear that he will leave you so you work twice as hard to keep him interested in you
  • Morph into who you think he wants you to be, completely casting aside your own values and beliefs

You are looking for the Wrong Things in a Man

Women too often fall for the good-looking guy with the smooth lines.

When said smooth-talker focuses his attention on you, you feel lucky to have been chosen by him. All intelligence and reason flows out of you.

The problem is this guy is a player. He’s smooth because he’s practiced a lot.

He wants to sleep with you and use you for whatever he can but he does not want and cannot make an emotional connection with you.

When you are looking for a man, your better bet is to look for traits like kindness, reliability and emotional stability.

Look for someone who brings out the best in you and vice versa. You should complement one another and make each other feel stronger.

You Don’t Believe You Deserve a Great Man

If you have low self-worth, the idea of dating someone who thinks you’re wonderful scares the daylights out of you.

How can you be with someone who thinks you’re all that if you don’t believe it yourself? You would never believe anything this guy told you and, in fact, it would make you really uncomfortable.

Having low self-worth comes with a lot of anxiety and fear.

You always fear you won’t measure up to someone’s expectations.

Because of this, it’s easier for you to seek a man who is also emotionally broken. He won’t be puffing you up and you don’t need to invest more than you can.

Fixing others is easier than Fixing Yourself

It’s always easier to see the flaws in someone else. Likes attract likes, but we don’t often recognize this in ourselves.

dating emotionally unavailable men

You like emotionally unavailable men because it gives you a project to work on that isn’t yourself.

You can focus your energy on his flaws, rather than on your own. It’s easier to point out what he should do to fix himself than to turn that finger back on yourself.

To face our perceived inadequacies is scary to say the least. Our minds will help us avoid this, thus keeping everything intact.

All of the negativity you’ve heard others say to you, along with what you’ve said to yourself is deeply seated in your unconscious mind – buried deep. Only through reprogramming will this change.

You must change your own narrative and avoid those who put you down.

There are many Emotionally Unavailable Men to choose from

Sadly, the concentration of emotionally unavailable people on the dating market is pretty high.

This type of person is often the relationship ender and they quickly are able to rejoin the dating scene because they had nothing invested in the relationship.

When an emotionally unavailable person divorces and remarries, their odds of getting divorced a second time are very high. Not to worry, they’ll be right back out there, looking for you!

An emotionally unavailable man will be looking for a woman who craves closeness, which can be a form of anxiety.

Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men Reinforces Your Insecurities

Let’s take a brief detour into some Attachment Theory.

men who cant love

According to Attachment Theory, our relationships with our parents help to shape our expectations about our romantic partners later in life. This is a changeable expectation.

Here’s where this comes into play for you. If, in your childhood, being close and connected to someone brought you pain and neglect.

You crave the closeness you never received, but what happens is you make too many sacrifices with a disappointing end result.

You commit to the relationship and draw closer but the emotionally unavailable person reacts by putting you down or telling you you’re needy.

Now, you believe the problem is all yours and down goes your self-esteem…again.

This emotionally unavailable man confirmed your beliefs about yourself, which were formed in your youth. Being close and connected brings pain and neglect.

You Miss the cues of Healthy Love

Emotionally unavailable men who can’t love are often quick to sex and tend to be real firecrackers in the beginning of a relationship. This is how they can draw you in.

Their high energy and focus on the relationship leads you to believe they’re all in, 1000%.

The problem is that if you’re accustomed to dating this type of guy and you meet an emotionally healthy man, you might miss the cues.

You’re looking for the anxiousness of an unhealthy attachment and miss signals of a healthy one, which is calmer. There is no tension. There is no playing hard-to-get.

The man you’ve just met is secure in who he is and he has chosen you.

When you too are emotionally healthy, you choose men and you see healthy, not unhealthy men, as the goal of your pursuit.

How do I stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men?

Fix Yourself

It’s time to figure out why you keep attracting this type of man into your life.

I’ve given you a few reasons but you have to dig deep for your particular reason.

The truth is that, in all of those relationships, you are the common denominator. There is a reason you are choosing this same type of man, over and over.

What is common to most of the reasons for choosing emotionally unavailable men who can’t love is that your self-esteem is in the dumper.

Take a break from dating and work on your confidence:

  • Listen to and adjust your self-talk so it is positive
  • Set boundaries which stop people who abuse you in some way
  • Read some great books on building yourself, like these
  • Take a confidence course, perhaps something like Build Yourself and He Will Come

Recognize the Signs Early On

An emotionally unavailable man has some signals you can detect. In addition to those I’ve listed above, here are a few more:

  • Tethering – a man who texts but never wants to make plans with you – he’s happy with phone-dating you
  • He has no range of emotions – it’s normal to get angry or frustrated but someone who doesn’t show any emotion when he should is sending strong signals
  • He avoids commitment – any discussion on any form of commitment is met with resistance

Often, women fall hard and fast for a man. This, combined with the rocket-like start many emotionally unavailable men will give to a new relationship, is a bad combination.

By the time you realize there are signals, you think you’ve got too much time and energy invested.  Your new goal becomes wanting to fix him, which is probably what brought you here today.

Don’t Try to Rescue Men

Some women like to rescue others.

Your tendency to be a nurturer leads you here, and while your nurturing side is comforting to a child, it’s not to a man.

men who can't love

Aside from that, you cannot fix someone else, regardless of his problem.

The problem is that it feels good to imagine you played a role in someone becoming a better person.

If you want to do rescue work, go to an animal shelter. You can feel good about walking a half-dozen cute pups around the yard to give them some exercise.

Leave men to rescue themselves.

Ask Yourself if You’re in a Good Place for a Relationship

Society tells us we need to be in a relationship. If you’re not in a relationship, there’s something obviously wrong with you. Right?

WRONG!

There are times in your life when you may not be ready for a relationship:

  • Just after you’ve gotten out of a long-term relationship
  • When your focus is on your career or education
  • When your confidence and self-esteem are low
  • When you notice a pattern of choosing broken men

There are others, but these are the times people most often do the opposite and seek a relationship.

Then, because they’re not in a good place to be a good partner, things go sour and confidence and self-esteem take a nosedive.

Make Change a High Priority in Your Life

The biggest thing you must do to change this pattern is to make change a high priority. Recognizing that you’ve got a problem in choosing men is just the start of fixing things.

Now, the hard work begins.

Not only do you need to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem, but you also need to make other changes as well.

You may need to change the friends you hang out with when you’re on the prowl. You may need to look for men in new places.

All of the activities you need to do to begin making positive choices require a commitment of time and energy.

You must prioritize this, just like you prioritized your education, career, children or developing any talents you may have.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask Questions

When you’re dating someone new, ask him questions. A great informative question is “How did your last relationship end?”

If he waves his hand and says something like, “Oh, she was a real bitch” or “She was too needy”, he’s telling you he exited.

If you find out he exited last week, chances are he wasn’t emotionally invested and he probably won’t be with you either.

Become Comfortable sharing Your Own Emotions

We often attract emotionally unavailable people because we don’t want them to ask us to share our emotions.

Childhood and early adult life has taught you that sharing your emotions results in pain and disappointment, therefore you don’t feel comfortable doing it any longer.

Start where it’s safe – with a good, trusted friend. Share with her an emotion you’ve struggled to share.

Feel the love that comes back to you and let it wash over you. Enjoy how great this feels.

Learning to share emotions comfortably is tricky but it leads you to healthy relationships where you can not only give love but receive it.

Right now, you’re finding men who don’t give it so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable receiving.

Remember, Love is a Verb

Think about it, in the sentence “I love you”, there are two nouns and one verb.

emotionally unavailable husband

To love someone is to care for them, to feel deep affection for them, to hold them very dear to you and to be devoted to them.

Infatuation is often mistaken for love. By definition, infatuation is short-lived passion or admiration for someone.

When you love someone, you want your life and theirs to be better together. You truly care if they experience a loss, have a bad day, get a great promotion or experience other landmark events in their life.

You grow together, emotionally, into a deeper, committed relationship because you take action toward one another that show caring, affection and devotion.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries define where you end and someone else begins. A boundary helps you define what is acceptable behavior by people in your life versus unacceptable.

Someone who always berates you breaks a boundary.

A man who demands sex too early in a relationship is breaking a boundary, or he should be.

Too often, we are afraid to set boundaries because we don’t want to hurt people. We don’t want someone to be angry with us.

can emotionally unavailable men change

Here’s the deal. You cannot control how someone else will react to what you do. If a boundary crasher gets angry with you for setting a boundary, that’s on them!

Having healthy boundaries helps you recognize when someone isn’t treating you in the way you deserve to be treated. This person needs to be removed from your life, or at least have limited exposure to you.

How to Date (Temporary) Emotionally Unavailable Men

Poke His Emotions When He Should be showing Them

If your guy experiences a loss but is coming off as being pretty stoic, poke his emotions a little bit.

You can say something like, “I remember when my grandmother died. I was so sad. She meant so much to me. You seem to be handling this really well, but I wonder how you really feel about it.”

He still may not respond while you’re around, but with any luck, maybe he will at least feel something when he’s alone.

You may not know it, of course, but you might start to see some twinge of emotion from him.

Feed Him Information Anyway

Some men who can’t love are very self-centered. He couldn’t care less about how you feel about something so he’s not going to ask questions like “How did your presentation go?” or “How are you doing since your dog died?”

He simply does. Not. Care.

So, your alternative is to offer the information anyway.

“Hey honey, that presentation I did today went great! My boss loved it and I think the clients are on board!”

Or…

“I can’t believe it’s been a month since Rover died. I still miss him so much.”

Match His Self-Centered Nature

Your emotionally unavailable man might be a narcissist. They often are, and truth be told, if he is, you just need to exit.

Is he a narcissist?

Every time your guy shares something about his day, you match it.

Him: “Boy I had a terrible day. My boss is a real jerk. I never get credit for saving his ass”

You: “I know what you mean. I did that presentation today and barely got a response from my boss and the clients loved it!”

When he ignores the things you say, either by poking him or by matching what he says, he is most likely narcissistic, and you need to cut your losses.

Know When He Just Needs space and when He’s Completely Unengaged

Yes, a man needs space when he is dealing with something emotionally difficult.

All men do, but there is a difference between needing a few days to sort things out and needing forever to avoid dealing with the pain.

It’s fine to give a guy the space he requires, but within reason. Ask him how long he feels he needs to deal with his stuff.

If he’s still not coming around at that point, he’s not going to. It’s time to boot him to the curb!

Allow His Schedule to Prevail

To draw out an emotionally unavailable man who can’t love, you must allow the relationship to advance at his pace. This can be very difficult for you, because women like to prod men along but heed my advice!

Allow him to determine how fast things go:

  • Let him call you
  • Don’t try to touch him to get him to engage
  • Don’t send him sexy texts and photos to seduce him
  • Don’t invite him to places you know he loves to go

Your goal is to create a space in which he feels safe. He doesn’t see you as someone who is forcing him into something he doesn’t want.

how to deal with emotionally unavailable men

This requires a level of patience that is difficult for many people, but it also requires you being open to his advances when they do come.

It also requires you to show your emotions, even if they’re negative, but in a way which tells him he can fix it and it’s not so bad.

If he’s late, for example, you can express your disappointment without making him feel horrible.

“Gee, Mike, since you got here so late, we’ve missed the 8:00 movie. Too bad because I really wanted to see it. What can we do instead?”

You’re giving him an option to make it up to you here by allowing him to choose another activity – hopefully one he knows you’ll enjoy.

Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change?

The unfortunate truth I have to share with you is this – emotionally unavailable men can change, but it is only through their own efforts that they will accomplish this.

It is possible that an emotionally unavailable man is deeply in love with you but still, he is unable to connect on that deeper level you crave.

What underlies this unavailability is fear, plain and simple. Fear is what keeps us from making most of the changes we need to make in our lives.

For the emotionally unavailable man, it is fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt and fear of not being good enough.

Being emotionally unavailable is a protective measure we place in our lives. It keeps us feeling safe in the place we’ve existed in for most of our lives.

Whether you are the emotionally unavailable one or he is, or perhaps both, what you need to understand is that becoming emotionally available means facing many fears, sitting with many uncomfortable feelings and altering the self-talk that’s been used for a lifetime.

To be emotionally unavailable is to try and keep vulnerability at bay.

Vulnerability shows the soft underbelly most of us try to hide from others, again for fear of rejection, hurt or finding out we’re not good enough.

Someone who is emotionally unavailable can certainly change, but it isn’t an overnight change and there is little you can do to change someone else.

An emotionally unavailable man who can’t love must see his closed-off emotions as a problem and want to make a change. Men do it, and so do women, but not without extensive work.

If you are dating or married to an emotionally unavailable man, your best hope is that he sees the problem and seeks help. This may require him to pull back from your relationship while he works on himself. It may be the end of your relationship, but that is yet to be determined.

What he requires of you, when he decides to change, is patience and understanding. He needs acceptance and the knowledge that he is enough.

Learn How To Choose An Emotionally Available Man!

I would not be doing you a service if I didn’t provide you with tools to Weed Out The Users, The Couch Potatoes And The Losers. These guys are smooth and many of you fall for their great looks and unwavering charm! The problem is that it’s the smooth ones you often want to avoid! Not only do I go more in-depth on that topic, but you’ll learn:

  • Patterns of behavior for users (players), losers, snoozers and of course, Mr. Right
  • Tools to help you dump a user or loser if you’ve already got one and methods to turn the snoozer into Mr. Right
  • Why you choose the wrong men and how to choose the right ones instead!
  • The (un)importance of milestones to men and why you need to stop using them in your relationships

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

How to Ask a Guy Out | 5 Sure Fire Ways to Get a Yes!

How to Ask a Guy Out | 5 Sure Fire Ways to Get a Yes!

Asking a Guy Out Can Be Fun with These 5 Tips!

For as long as I have been interested in women, I dreamed that just one would walk up and ask me out, “Gregg, you handsome devil, wanna go out with me?”

56 years later – I’m still waiting!

OK maybe a few did but I sure as heck can’t remember when and, if a woman did, she probably was a hunch back with a tail.

Men are rooting for you to ask them out.

My point being, is to ask a man out! We want you to. Men will root for you. We are more afraid than you are – that I can guarantee.

Add the #Metoo movement and now we think you will have us arrested if we even flirt with you.

It takes some degree of confidence in yourself to ask a guy out. I get that. That’s why my website for women has a slogan across the header that says, Build Yourself and He Will Come!

If you see yourself cringing at these five ways on how to ask a guy out then you need to hit the confidence page and get some.

So what are the best ways to ask a guy out? The key is to put yourself in the position to ask a guy out so you can ask the question more comfortably.

The actual question is often the easy part. It takes confidence, but it’s easy.

How to ask a guy out:

#1: Pick something on your bucket list and go for it!

Let’s make asking a guy out easy by setting the stage.

Brainstorm 50 ideas (hobbies/passions/new adventures) narrow to 10. Pick 1 or 2, sign up and go! The goal here is to get exposure and join with guys that you have things in common with. This takes the pressure off from meeting a man while you are having fun!

Don’t join yoga unless you are asking women out.

After a couple of white water trips, for example, it’s a hell of a lot easier to look at the guy who paddled you down the river and say, “Jim, you saved my life from those class 5 rapids, let me take you out for a cocktail Saturday!”

Notice you are telling him and not really asking. This shows confidence!

If he says yes, then you are golden, if he says no, then pat yourself on your shoulder and paddle away.

#2: Use a corny pickup line

Guess what? Pick up lines suck if you’re a guy using them on a woman.

But, they work the bomb directed to guys from women! Why? Because we are a bunch of barely grown up third graders and crappy pickup lines were a part of our heritage. I still laugh at them with my friends.

So when you use them towards a man you are tickling his funny bone and that’s a good thing!

Here are a few:

Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by YOU!

OK I cheated and stole these here – https://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/cheesy.html

Your goal is to get him laughing. You don’t even need to be smooth. If you mess up the punch line that’s even better!

How to Ask a Guy Out Tip #3: Study comedy and use it towards strangers

how to ask out a guy

Getting him to laugh makes it easy to ask him out!

The best way to get to know someone is to make them laugh. I was gifted with funniness, (is that a word?) so I was lucky, but some women have nothing.

Change this by going to comedy shows and listening to comedians. Steal a few lines. Watch their deliveries. Practice on your friends. It works.

I have ten or so lines that I still use today and they are the perfect way break the ice so you can ask a guy out.

For example, when I go to my place in Delray Beach, I always eat at the same sushi bar. There are a lot of other people sitting next to me. I poke my raw tuna with my chopsticks and say in a loud voice, “A skilled veterinarian could bring this tuna back to life”

Is it stupid? Yes. Is it funny? Hell yeah! Everyone laughs. A steak restaurant works too.

The sillier the better when it comes to lines. I was with a group of women in LA and one wanted to meet this guy. I told her to grab the guys little drink umbrella and put it in her hair, smile, say her friends challenged her to do it, and offer to buy him another drink.

He laughed his ass off and bought her a drink. It works.

I swear the more you act like a little kid, the more a man is drawn to you. If he’s not, then you never wanted to meet him in the first place!

How to Ask a Guy Out Tip #4: Walk up, hand him your phone number and leave

Really? Yep. How much easier does it get? It even meets my act like a little kid requirement.

This tactic comes with many variations which is nice too:

  • You could strut back to your friends and see if he approaches
  • Tease him and say, “This is your lucky day my friend – I never come on the market” and leave.
  • You could say this line, grab his little umbrella and stick it in your hair and then walk back over to your friends!

The skies the limit.

#5: Have your friend approach him

I do this with my guy friends and it works great! Especially with John, my shy buddy. Have your friend walk over to a guy you like, grab his hand, and say, “my friend wants to meet you, she’s a bit shy so I am taking you to her.”

Perfect! Start talking, get to know each other and then ask him out like this:

Jim, we are all going to the wine tasting next Friday at the Seaport area in Boston. Are you busy? Grab some of your friends or come as my date and let’s savor some grapes! Here’s my number – bye!”

Then make a smooth exit. Now go somewhere else – rinse and repeat.

Like anything, it’s a numbers game. The more exposure you get the more potential dates you will get and the less you will care about any one of them.

Also, the more guys you talk to the more relaxed you will be asking guys out. This is called desensitization and its one of your tools in my confidence course book, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes.

Get it for the price of a cup of coffee – it may change your life.

How to get a guy to ask you out | 5 Sneaky Ways

So we covered how to ask a guy out but what if you are too shy? Are there ways to get the guy to ask you out instead?

There sure are!

Tip #1: Put your friend to work

Arrange for your potential suitor to join you and your friends (and his) for a get together. No pressure just request to get everyone together for the wine tasting on Friday night.

Then, when you are sipping wine together, have your extroverted friend walk up and say, “you two would make a great couple – Jim, ask her out will you?”

This might create an embarrassing moment but who cares! You didn’t create it.  And he just might ask you out on the spot or at least think about it in the future.

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Tip #2: Ask him for a favor

Ask him for a ride and get one on one time!

Guys love to fix things and help women. It makes us feel good to get our egos stroked. Look for a situation where you can use this to your advantage. If he has a truck you could ask him to move some furniture for you.

Or

Ask him to give you a ride somewhere that you know he is headed. This puts you in a one on one situation that could make him see you as a potential couple. Then, you can thank him by inviting him to join you for lunch or a cup of coffee.

Tip #3: Flirt using body language

Few women know how to effectively use body language. In my book Night Moves, I cover this in detail. You can get a guy to ask you out by giving him a huge dose of attention. Smile. Lock eyes with him for longer than you would normally.

Compliment him in front of his friends and yours. This will naturally draw him to you. Touch him too, by putting your hand on his shoulder.

One key tip: Vary your attention towards him based on his responses. Don’t be too aggressive or he will be turned off. Go “in and out” with your compliments, touching and smiles. This will pique his curiosity! He won’t know if you like him or you don’t and that’s what you want!

Now, he will only concentrate on you and not other women. Clever as a fox!

Tip #4: Find his passion and get him to talk about it

Find his passion and talk to him about it!

If he loves surfing then ask him about it. Even better, learn about it and try it! When you share a guy’s passion, he starts to equate you with his love for his passion – in other words, you increase the chances of him wanting you in his life!

Now, when he mentions going surfing, you say “bring me, bring me!” as only a woman can say in her wonderful je ne sais quoi way.

Brilliant!

If you start asking me about writing books for women – you can damn well bet that I will give you my undivided attention.

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Tip #5: Ask him what he is doing this weekend – then tell a white lie!

This works well. Ask the guy what his plans are for the holiday weekend. When he tells you, tell him that you and your friend are going there too!

OK, you’re not but now you are. Then tell your friend that she is going whether she likes it or not and then buy her lunch.

When he sees you, this puts you in a great situation for him to ask you out in the future. It’s almost like you are having a first date without ever asking him out.

How to Ask  Guy Out Conclusion | Do not fear failure!

Never fear failure!

Do you know who fails more than anyone?

Yours truly!

I fail because I take risks to find out what works. I live outside my comfort zone. You see, you can’t succeed if you don’t fail. Do you think Thomas Edison got the light-bulb right on the first try? Nope. It took him over 1000 tries!

Look at failure as the road to success, not as a judgement on you.

The real failures are the ones that complain how terrible their lives are and do nothing about it.

You are not that person! You are now the women who is proactive asking guys out!

So there you have it, my 5 sure-fire ways on How to Ask a Guy Out and my 5 ways on How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out.

Do you have your Night Moves down? Are you ready to go out and get a guy to fall for you, using science and not trickery? If so, this is the book for you! I’ve done the research, and you get to benefit. Here are the steps you can take, whether you’re headed out on a first date or going out with your friends to look for men. The science behind attraction is just a few clicks away!

Here are just a couple of things you’ll learn inside this best-seller:

  • Red lipstick is magical when it comes to attraction…learn why inside
  • Looking at a guy, looking away, and then looking back with the right timing sends a clear signal…but what signal? Learn inside the book
  • You can get a guy to feel like he’s falling for you with a few subtle movements. Learn what they are in this book!

Read more about this book or click one of the buttons below to buy it now.

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