There’s a New Mouse in The House! Online Dating For Women Just Got Better

There’s a New Mouse in The House! Online Dating For Women Just Got Better

There’s a New Mouse in The House!

Online dating for women just got better! Hi Ladies, Gregg here, and I have a big announcement to make. Love is in the Mouse 2017: Find the Love of Your Life With The Click of The Mouse!  is now live! Get your copy for just the price of one cup of coffee HERE

This online dating eBook is all new and concentrates on writing profiles.  In the beginning I give my version of the ultimate profile! Then I teach what to ask a guy and how to move things offline.

Once again, Kirbie and I have created a free workbook to go with the book so you can work along with me, and we have created an eye opening online profile guide called “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” Here, you and I look at (and laugh) what not to write on your profile. Both free with the book.

I took some time and signed in as a woman (I do have nice legs haha!) to view a few sites and WHOA, I could not believe what some women are writing! Men too.

My previous Mouse book is still worthy of reading as it lays the groundwork to get you online dating successfully, so keep it as a reference.

I also found a great review website that analyzes and ranks the different online dating sites. My friend Lexi contacted me over at Reviews.com.  New research suggests more than one third of marriages begin with online dating. Finding a potential partner has become much easier, but choosing the best online dating service hasn’t.

Interacting on an ineffective dating site can start to feel like a full-time job that doesn’t ever payout. Because of this, Lexi’s team spent six weeks reviewing 68 online dating sites to find which algorithms actually work and which site was most likely to find you a compatible match. They found your top picks by analyzing web-traffic data, consulting with matchmakers and online dating experts, along with evaluating their user bases, functionality and quality. Even further, they personally tested them to find which ones resulted in the most meaningful interactions and which ones had an excessive amount of obnoxious messages.

Hook-up sites were intentionally left out.

With all of their research, they created a comprehensive guide to help daters find the best dating site for their specific needs (best overall, best for long-term relationships, best app and best niche dating sites). They also offer tips on how to maximize your online dating experience, by making it worthwhile and safer.

The information is free and the tips are very helpful! The link is here. Oh, they also review everything else under the sun too – not just dating sites.

So grab my new book, Love is in The Mouse 2017, for peanuts and then get over to Reviews.com and pick the best site for you!

Copping a new attitude 🙂
Gregg

Tips To Keep Him Hooked

Tips To Keep Him Hooked

You Caught Him Now How to Keep Him Hooked?

True, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but you seem to only snag losers. Maybe one or two seemed promising, but you just couldn’t keep him hooked and on the line – and you lost him.

Or maybe they just weren’t worth keeping, so you threw them back and waited for the next one to bite. Then finally it happens. You score the catch of a lifetime. The one you have been waiting for. You feel that rush of excitement as you reel him in. The sex is great and your dog likes him. But now what? How do you keep him hooked forever ?

If you have read any of my best selling books, you should be a confident woman who knows what she wants in life and in love. You have your own hobbies, career goals, a great circle of friends, and an understanding of the male psyche.

And let’s face it; understanding men is half the battle! You are ready for lasting love, and you have finally found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with — a man of value. THE ONE. He appreciates you for the amazing person you are, he loves being with you, and he doesn’t want to lose you.

Your relationship is great — but your challenge is to KEEP it that way! Even when all the important elements are there, (love, trust, respect, intimacy, appreciation, and so on) relationships take work. In time, that honeymoon fades. You’ve seen it happen before. But this time things will be different. This time it’s forever.

First things first. Have you read Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life? It’s like a relationship toolbox — an insurance policy against affairs and harm from devastating life events. If you really want to keep him hooked I would suggest you pick up a copy.

It really is possible to build an impenetrable wall around your relationship by learning how to rack up tons of great memories — pennies in the jar! Once you learn how to accomplish this, you will possess the skills to keep a man for life!

How to Keep Him Hooked Tips

  • A couple that plays together stays together! Yes, it’s important to have your own interests, but also sharing a mutual hobby (or hobbies) is a great way to have fun together and create good memories.
  • Go out on date nights! Sure, staying home in your PJs and cuddling on the couch with a movie is always nice. But you also need to get out there and experience all the exciting things life has to offer you as a couple. Make time for dates and let him show you off a little. Date like they did in the 70’s!
  • Manage your emotions. This one is a biggie, and he will love you all the more for it. That doesn’t mean stuff it all down inside. It means being mindful of overreacting.
  • Know how to fight fair. Another biggie. EVERY couple fights now and then. It doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. But you have to fight fair. Cheap shots, grudges and a fiery temper can destroy what you have, and how you fight can seriously make or break a relationship.
  • Learn to have balance and great communication. Men don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves like women tend to do. So it’s important to keep the lines of communication comfortable and open.
  • Remember to laugh together. Because laughter really is the best medicine!
  • Grow together by writing each other. Create a Couple’s Journal with your man.

 

Little Ways to say I Love You without saying the Words

Little Ways to say I Love You without saying the Words

Tiffany here. Who would have thought three little words could be so huge? You feel it in your heart, but actually saying, “I love you” for the first time can be a tricky situation, and it’s often difficult to know just when the time is right. Say it too soon, and you risk scaring him away. Wait too long, and he may begin to doubt your feelings, and maybe even the relationship. Good news – it doesn’t have to be all or nothing! There are lots of little ways to show your love without ever uttering a word. You can build your emotional bond by letting him know you care through your actions. It’s the little things that count.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Boston dating coach, Gregg Michaelsen tells us men communicate differently than women. While they may not shout their feelings from the rooftop the way we tend to, we need to look closely at the things they do to show us they care. Does he put air in your tires and fill your gas tank before you leave to visit your sister who lives in another state? Does he call and check on you when you have to work late, or bring you your favorite coffee to help you get through a rough day? Does he fix the leg on the antique table your Grandmother gave you, or rub your back when you have a headache? It’s little things like this which prove his love for you. His actions are much more powerful than words. We can do the same with our own little ways to say, “I love you.”

Little Ways To Say I Love You

Keep this list handy for inspiration, and think of your own uniquely sweet ideas which symbolize something special about him, and your relationship.

  • Always kiss him hello
  • Leave little notes on his car windshield or bathroom mirror, or sneak them into his pocket
  • Cook his favorite meal, just for the two of you
  • Bake him cookies – just because
  • Bring him breakfast in bed after a romantic evening together
  • Take the time to get to know, and like, his friends
  • Take the time to bond with his family
  • Text or call him once during the day to let him know you are thinking of him
  • Hold hands whenever you can
  • Watch the Super Bowl with him, even if you hate football
  • Wear that red dress he loves so much
  • Make him a love song playlist, the modern equivalent of a mix tape
  • If you see something he would love, don’t be afraid to get him little surprise gifts to show he was on your mind, and how well you know him
  • Make him a handmade Valentine
  • Laugh at his corny jokes
  • Cut his hair or shave his beard – it’s actually surprisingly intimate!
  • Show appreciation when he does something nice for you
  • Give him the last french fry or bite of dessert
  • Show up with beer, pizza and his favorite movie if he’s had a rough day
  • Listen when he needs to vent
  • Ask him about his day, look him in the eyes, and give him your undivided attention
  • Cheer him on when he needs encouragement, and be supportive, not critical
  • Make a big deal of his accomplishments
  • Try your hand at golf if he loves to play, or a hobby he has a passion for. Who knows, you may develop a new interest!
  • Compliment him
  • Send him a letter if you are away and tell him you miss him
  • You chose him for a reason – don’t try to change him
  • Go with him to boring work functions
  • Ask his advice and respect his opinion
  • Help him with a difficult or tedious task
  • Back him up when someone puts him down
  • Three letters — PDA — because you are proud to be with him
  • Give him a foot massage when you are relaxing on the couch
  • Tell him when he does something you like in bed
  • Always kiss him goodnight

Eventually, if all goes well, one of you will finally say those three little words and mean it! But until that moment, treat him the way you like to be treated, and show him you care through your actions.

If you would like more suggestions on things you can do to strengthen your relationship, check out my book, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life.

How Will I Know if He Really Loves Me?

How Will I Know if He Really Loves Me?

“How will I know if he really loves me…?” Tiffany here. Sorry if you now have that classic 1980’s Whitney Houston song stuck in your head. But really, is there any way to know for sure? It’s not like guys profess their love from the rooftops and gush all over when they see us. They’re not wired that way. And if by chance he does say those three magic words — I love you — well, what then? Words are just words. Does he mean them or is he just trying to appease you, or worse, is he just trying to get in your pants? Some guys are devious that way, and some women fall for it because they are blinded by their own feelings (feelings we proudly show every chance we get, because, face it, we ARE wired that way).

Let’s go back to that song that’s stuck in your head.

How will I know (Don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (Love can be deceiving)
How will I know
How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I’m asking you what you know about these things

When it comes to relationship advice for women, Gregg Michaelsen knows about these things! This Boston dating coach will be the first to tell you men love DIFFERENTLY than women. It’s pretty much the whole premise of To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man, one of his best-selling dating advice books. According to Gregg, women ooze love unconditionally, but men don’t love like that.  They don’t generally spill their emotions, constantly confirming their love for us. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love us back. Even if it’s hard for them to TELL us how they feel, they SHOW us, in their own way, through their ACTIONS. We just need to know what to look for!

Solving Your Problems

Does he give you a massage when your back aches? Did he put air in your tires and check your oil before your trip to visit your parents? Does he mow the lawn when the grass gets too high? Did he bring you your favorite pumpkin spice cappuccino because he knew you had a big deadline at work last week?

When guys do these “manly” things for us, they are showing us they care. Now that we know this to be true, we can use it to our advantage. Compliment him on how nice the lawn looks, and show appreciation when he makes sure you are safe. Do this, and he will be showing his love every chance he can!

Protecting You

Does he open the door for you? Does he give you his coat when you’re chilly? Does he walk you to your car and make sure you get home safely? Does he defend you at all costs? Chivalry is not dead! In fact, it’s a powerful way men show their true feelings. He’s not just being a gentleman, ladies. He cares about you! Don’t let his effort go unnoticed.

Socially Announcing You

If he loves you, he will want to introduce you to the important people in his life. He will want you to meet his friends, and he will want you to meet his family. He will share his hobbies with you and invite you to join in. He will update his relationship status on Facebook and post photos of you on his profile page. He will be proud to show you off, and he will be excited about including you in his life.

Sex

Not to go into too many graphic details, but is he a taker or a giver? If he wants to please you just as much as he wants to be pleased, he cares. Simple as that.

Showing his love can rarely be faked. You just need to pay attention to the clues. Actions speak louder than words. So be confident in his feelings for you, even if he doesn’t say those three words right away, or as often as you’d like. You will know.

What is Phubbing? Is it Harming Your Relationship?

What is Phubbing? Is it Harming Your Relationship?

Phubbing, or phone snubbing, is an all-too-common behavior these days, but the real question to ask is whether phubbing is harming your relationship.

First, what is phubbing exactly?

Imagine you and your guy are out for date night. You’d like to talk about what movie you should go see later, but he’s got his thumbs furiously tapping on his phone. He’s engrossed and completely oblivious to the fact that you’re talking to him.

That’s phubbing.

Look on your next public transportation ride – I’ll bet you that the majority of people are phubbing. They’re engrossed in their phones so deeply that they miss what’s going on around them.

Why do People use Phubbing?

Of course, there’s a why associated with phubbing, and I think it’s important to understand it so we can dig down to why it harms relationships.

Phubbers are often Phubbed

If you’ve been phubbed a lot before, you’re more likely to engage in the same behavior. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

This is backed up by a scientific study.

Science is Still Studying

As far as scientific research goes, phubbing is a newer phenomenon, however, this doesn’t mean that there’s no information. It simply means that more information is needed to make well informed conclusions.

So, what that means to our conversation is that there are some ideas on who’s more likely to be phubbing, but there could be more information to come.

One prevailing thought is that phubbing is associated with people who have an addictive personality to start with. Since phubbing can be seen as a smartphone addiction, this makes sense. Some science has initially proven this to be true.

Along with that, some believe a social media addiction is closely related or correlated to phubbing. Again, this makes sense. If you’re hooked on social media, where are you going to spend your time?

Part of the social media problem, which is also new in scientific research, is learning whether people are using social media to form their own identity. Who you are in real life is who you project on social media, except it isn’t. That doesn’t stop people from trying to build an identity around what they post on social media.

FoMO is another reason for phubbing. FoMO, for those of us who are older (I had to look it up) is fear of missing out. Again, it makes sense because much of FoMO relates to social media.

Studies don’t yet agree on whether men or women are more prone to phubbing. Some say yes while other studies say no.

Additionally, there’s good news if you’re married as married people are usually less prone to phubbing.

Emotional Intelligence and Physical Aggression

Some have studied the relationship between emotional intelligence, physical aggression, and phubbing.

Research to date tells us that emotional intelligence can be a predictor of phubbing. Those with high emotional intelligence are able to control their emotions while those with low emotional intelligence cannot. Those with lower emotional intelligence are more likely to engage in phubbing.

So, it stands to reason that physical aggression would also have a relationship with phubbing. Some who have low emotional intelligence, but not all, are more prone to physical or verbal aggression.

More Information is Needed

Obviously, since this whole smartphone world is relatively new, the science behind its impact on our lives truly remains to be seen, but now let’s dig into how phubbing negatively impacts your relationship.

Phubbing and the Impact on Your Relationship

Jealousy

One common problem often associated with phubbing is jealousy. Imagine you’re on a date with your guy and all he wants to do is be on his phone.

What’s your first thought? Who has his attention so much that he can’t tear himself away to talk to you, right? Of course! That’s what anyone would think.

He’s Phubbing, You’re Phubbing

One of the first things I mentioned was that a predictor of whether you’re a phubber or not can be whether it’s been done to you.

If your guy is phubbing and ignoring you, what’s a girl to do? Get her smartphone out and join the phubbing party.

The problem with this is that you’re supposed to be out enjoying one another, but you aren’t. If one of you isn’t really into the whole smartphone thing, it can become very aggravating.

It Promotes an Environment of Retaliation

Some studies have shown that when your partner is phubbing, it makes you angry, of course, and your desire for retaliation is higher. You want revenge for being ignored.

This makes sense again because when you’re in a relationship, you want the attention of your loved one, but if all their time is spent with their nose in their phone, they barely know you exist.

You’re Very Dissatisfied with Your Relationship

To me, there’s already a high rate of relationships ending for reasons that could be avoided, and this seems as if it would fall into the same category.

What I mean by this is that if you or your partner simply realize that your behavior is hurting the other, you would quit or at least slow way the heck down so you wouldn’t continue to hurt them.

People who have phubbing partners, often called ‘phubbees’ reported lower relationship satisfaction in a study during which the partners were asked to keep a daily journal that also noted how extreme they felt the phubbing had been during the day.

Now that You’re Aware of the Harm of Phubbing

If you’re the phubber, I hope you see how your behavior is harming your relationship. If you’re the phubbee, I hope you see that what you’re feeling is backed up by science. Your partner is physically, but not mentally present.

If you feel frustrated, ignored, and unhappy with your relationship, you’re right where you should be. Your feelings are to be expected.

It’s unfortunate that we’re becoming so socially isolated because of technology. During COVID, we learned how to engage in relationships without being physically present, but there are things about being in close proximity to your partner that can’t be replaced.

Touch is very important because it gives us a feeling of being appreciated and loved. There is actually a physical response to being touched that helps reduce your stress and anxiety.

If we begin to dump our noses into our phones, we’re missing out on a huge aspect to a relationship. Not only are we avoiding eye contact, but there’s no touch, no conversation, no interaction of any sort.

So to answer the original question – is phubbing harming your relationship, the answer is a big YES!

How can you stop?

How to Stop Phubbing

Acknowledge the Problem

Of course, the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging that the problem exists. We often equate this to alcoholism, but the truth is that you can’t fix a problem you don’t recognize.

Whether you’re the phubber or the phubbee, it’s time to have a conversation with your partner to discuss the problem. As you know, one begets the other, so chances are you’re both doing it to some extent, regardless of who started it.

Implement Technology-Free Date Nights

A date night is a chance for the two of you to regroup and reconnect. The older your relationship is, the more important date night is, but it’s important to every relationship.

I make one, maybe two exceptions for this, and that’s if you have kids or one of you is on-call for a job, but even then, the phone is face-down on the table or put away in a pocket or purse.

This is your time to talk and spend time just being together. Phubbing moves you about as far in the other direction as you can go.

Place Your Phone Out of Sight

If you’re at home watching a movie, don’t put your phone on the table face-up where you can see every notification that comes in.

Lay it face down and silence notifications. If you can’t lay it face down, set it in a drawer or across the room.

The point is to remove the temptation to use it. And don’t go get it during a commercial or when your partner needs a bathroom break.

Try a Digital Detox to End Phubbing

There are apps that will help you regulate your time on your device. Some apps will block distracting apps from intruding in your life.

You can also turn off notifications for apps that tend to pull you away, like social media, mail, and even texting or voicemails.

I don’t like the little red numbers beside apps that tell me how many unread messages I have any more than the next person, but I don’t sit and stare at my phone either.

Assign Ring Tones to Important People

I understand that in today’s society, people expect you to reply immediately, but that doesn’t mean you should. Instead, assign the truly important people in your life a ringtone. Give Mom her own tone, or your kids, or your office if you go on-call or have a job where you may be urgently needed.

Kick the rest of the messages and voicemails to the later pile.

How to Stop HIM from Phubbing

If you’re the phubbee, it’s time to have a conversation with your partner. He’s obviously so engrossed in his phone that he hasn’t noticed how upset you get. Tell him. Use “I” language:

  • Brett, I feel like you’re ignoring me when you spend so much time on your phone
  • It makes me feel like I’m not important to you when you never look up from your phone
  • When we’re together, I feel as if you’re not really there

Stating how you feel is harder to dispute and these sentences don’t begin with an accusation. They state the situation and how it makes you feel.

After you’ve discussed it, if you notice that he’s starting his phubbing again, gently remind him that he’s doing it. Try not to take it personally. This is akin to an addiction and the phubber won’t be able to stop cold turkey.

Also, avoid your own phone. Give an example of what being present looks like. Be understanding and compassionate. This has likely become a habit and habits can be tricky to break. Give him time to recognize his problem and make a course correction.

Finally, resist the urge to turn to your own phone. Instead, try to interest him in something. Choose a topic of interest to him, like a hobby he has, a favorite team, or some other topic. This is intriguing enough for him to pull him away.

If you replace phubbing with fun, it will be an easier habit to break. Engage him in activities that make it harder to dig out a phone.

That’s a Wrap!

It’s clear that phubbing is harmful to relationships, and not just romantic relationships, but relationships between parents and children and your friendships.

In any instance, the feeling of being ignored and unimportant is there, waving a big red flag.

Whether you’re the phubber or the phubbee, there are things you can do to help rein in the problem. Patience with your partner will help things go more smoothly.

How to Deal with a Moody Boyfriend

How to Deal with a Moody Boyfriend

How to Deal with a Moody Boyfriend

Women often get a bad rap for being moody, but the truth is, guys can be moody too! We ALL have our moments, but what happens when you have a moody boyfriend? You love him, but are his bad moods bringing you down?

Are his bad moods causing you to lose confidence in yourself? Amber is our guest blogger today with some tips on how to deal with a moody boyfriend.

How to Deal with a Moody Boyfriend When He Pleads The Fifth

If your boyfriend seems distant and quiet, he may be struggling to tell you what’s on his mind. Maybe he thinks you’ll judge him or be critical of him, which could be adding to his stress.

Got a moody boyfriend?

If you’ve read To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man, you know men and women are drastically different in the way they communicate and love.

Women wear our hearts on our sleeves and shout our feelings from the rooftops. Men…. not so much. Make sure he knows you are there for him and willing to listen when he’s ready.

Don’t pressure him — just be there, and be kind. Chances are, he will feel better once he lets it all out, and realizes he has someone in his corner.

It’s Not You, It’s Him

Remind yourself this too shall pass. Moods change like the weather, so if his crankiness is too much to take at the moment, don’t feel like you need to carry the weight of it yourself.

Learn How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut – Click HERE

Go out with your girlfriends, hit the gym, or grab a book and head to the coffee shop – whatever you need to do to decompress. A little space will do wonders for you, and it will give him some time to work through what is bothering him. Just remember – whatever he’s dealing with is not your fault.

Hot and Cold

He loves me. Now he loves me not. He loves me. It’s hard to tell when your guys is always either hot or cold. One minute he’s all into you, pouring on the affection, and the next minute he’s too preoccupied with his own issues to even notice you’re around. What gives?

Think of it this way. You know how guys think about sex 95% of the time? Well, the other 5% they have to obsess about something else. So if it’s not you, what is it? His job? Maybe his friends? His team losing the Super Bowl?

Whatever is weighing heavy on his mind, chances are he will be preoccupied. Men have a one-track-mind by design, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.

How to deal with a Moody Husband: Bring On the Fun

Time alone can be helpful, but time together can also turn his frown upside down. Go ahead and distract him with something fun! Hit the bowling alley or arcade, watch funny YouTube videos or a laugh out loud comedy and cuddle on the coach.

You could also spend the day at an amusement park riding the roller-coasters, go for a bike ride together, whip up your favorite meal, put on your favorite song and dance in the kitchen, or just have a good-old make out session. Whatever floats your boats and gets his mind off his troubles!

Know When to Hold ‘em and When to Fold ‘em

We all get moody now and then. If your guy is having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month, try to be understanding. As long as he is kind and does not take it out on you (abuse of ANY kind is NEVER okay!), give him love, support, and some space to sort out his feelings.

On the other hand, if his moods are getting in the way of your happiness, it may be time to decide whether or not he is right for you. Remember Gregg Michaelsen’s dating advice for women —YOU are the chooser, and can have your pick of guys. Donald Downers need not apply.

How to deal with a moody boyfriend or husband is common issue. Use these tips above and watch his mood swing back to being happy again! And if he continues being moody after taking these steps? Then dump his ass and get a dog instead!

4 Questions to ask Yourself Before You Commit

4 Questions to ask Yourself Before You Commit

How do you know if someone is right for you? Sure you’re attracted to him, and you get along great, but if you commit to a relationship you are closing yourself from possibly meeting Mr. Right. If you just aren’t there yet, it’s probably best to keep things casual for now and keep you options open.

Is He Your Friend?

It’s true. There is no romantic relationship without that physical, chemical spark. But if you ask happily married couples what their secret is, chances are they will say they married their best friend. When you think back on past failed relationship, chances are you were lovers but never really friends. Think of the qualities you look for in a friend — shared interests and values, mutual respect and trust, appreciation for one another, compatible personalities, and the ability to feel comfortable and happy when you’re just hanging out, spending lots of time together. Do you have that? You may be into him physically, but you can’t be hot and heavy all of time (even if you want to). He may be a good lover, but when it comes down to it, he should be a good friend too.

Does He Communicate?

In any good relationship, you must be open and honest with each other. Conversation by nature is a give and take, back and forth kind of thing! If he is normally a Chatty Charles but shuts down when it comes to certain topics, or if he sits there silently scowling while you are talking, it may be time to wonder why.

He should be someone you can talk openly and honestly with about the important stuff without worrying about whether he is judging you or withholding information. You should trust him with your secrets and he should trust you with his.

On a related note, are your conversations stimulating or do you find yourself bored and yawning, staring into his dreamy eyes? Just like you click in the bedroom, the two of you need to click conversationally. Sure, it’s nice to enjoy some quiet time together now and then, but in the end, you don’t want to be stuck in a marriage with someone who will not or cannot communicate.

Do You Really Know Him?

Trust and friendship take time. You may really want to have a boyfriend or you may really want to be engaged, but make sure you really know the guy before you rush into anything. Don’t let your biological clock blind you! Do you know what he wants for the future (besides you)?

It’s important to make sure you are both on the same page with your relationship. I have more than one friend who married and divorced because one wanted kids and the other did not. Another reason why open and honest communication is so important!

A great way to really get to know someone is to meet his family. There is a reason people traditionally “meet the parents” before getting married — It just makes sense! His upbringing has set the foundation for who he is as an adult, and can really be en eye opener. Spend some time with his parents and siblings, and observe him closely. How does he treat them? How do they treat him? What is the family dynamic? Do you like what you see?

Does He Love You?

You know how you feel about him, and it should be obvious how he feels about you. It does not matter if he says he loves you a hundred times a day or not at all. We women wear our hearts on our sleeves but men are different. They show their love through their actions. Is he proud to have you by his side? Is he protective of you? Is he generous? Does he treat you with kindness and respect? One thing you need to understand is how men love. These actions cannot be faked. When you know, you know. There are lots of men in the dating pool. Don’t settle for anything less than love.

Hopefully your answers to these four questions will give you some clarity when it comes to making the decision to finally commit to one man. By now, you should be on your way to becoming an exclusive couple, or staying open to the possibility of finding your one and only one day soon!

Navigating Love: Proven Strategies to Dodge the Friend Zone with a Guy

Navigating Love: Proven Strategies to Dodge the Friend Zone with a Guy

The ‘friend zone’ is a situation where one person in a platonic relationship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It’s a complex psychological phenomenon rooted in human social behaviors and interpersonal relationships.

People tend to seek out relationships where the benefits outweigh the costs. When one person perceives the relationship as platonic and the other as potentially romantic, there’s an imbalance in perceived benefits and costs, leading to the friend zone.

Attachment styles also play a significant role in the friend zone. When you have a secure attachment style, you are more likely to express your feelings openly and directly, reducing the chances of miscommunication and mismatched expectations. On the other hand, if you have an avoidant or anxious attachment style, you may struggle to communicate your romantic interest, increasing the likelihood of landing in the friend zone.

Another psychological aspect of the friend zone involves the principle of least interest, which means the person who is less emotionally invested in the relationship has more power. If one person is more interested in deepening the relationship than the other, they may find themselves in the friend zone.

The friend zone can also be influenced by a fear of rejection. If you’re afraid of being rejected, you may not express your true feelings, leading to a mismatch of intentions and desire, which can keep you ‘stuck’ in the friend zone.

Social norms can also have an impact. Society often expects men to make the first move in romantic relationships. If a woman is interested in a man but waits for him to express his feelings first, she may inadvertently place him in the friend zone.

How can you avoid the friend zone?

friend zone

Recognizing the Signs: Are You in the Friend Zone?

Before we look into how to avoid the friend zone, it might be a good idea to see if that’s where you are.

If you find that he only reaches out to you to vent his frustrations or chat about personal matters but never initiates plans for romantic or intimate dates, it’s a sign you might be in the friend zone. When he starts to discuss his potential love interests with you or seeks your advice on dating matters, it could be a clear indication you are friend-zoned.

Another good way to gauge your status in a relationship is by paying attention to the language a guy uses while referring to you. If he uses phrases like “buddy”, “pal”, or “good friend”, it’s a clue to your likely position in the friend zone. It’s important to be aware of these signs before you start working on getting out of it.

Alright, now we know where you might stand. Let’s move on to exploring how you can prevent landing in the friend zone with a guy of your interest. Shifting gears from friendship to potential romance takes careful thought and strategy. But fear not! By being proactive, genuine, and respectful, you can shape a different kind of relationship.

Avoiding Pitfalls: Common Mistakes that Land You in the Friend Zone

First things first, understanding the mistakes that unintentionally slide you into the friend zone is key. If you’ve found yourself neck-deep in a friendly relationship you’d rather evolve romantically, chances are you’re offering friendship signals instead of romance signals. So, let’s delve into these common errors.

Being Too Passive

Often, you might hold off expressing your interest because you’re afraid of rejection or ruining the friendship. The longer you wait to make your intentions clear, the more likelihood you have of being just a friend in their eyes. However, approaching with honesty and courage is a must, but be sure to apply felt discretion to not come off too strongly.

Over Availability

While, it’s amazing to be a supportive friend who’s always there, excessive availability can create a comfort zone where the other person knows they can rely on you, like a friend. To avoid this, try to establish boundaries, prioritizing your own time and interest. Trust me, a little mystery never hurt anyone and could, in fact, stimulate interest.

Acting Like a ‘Nice Guy’

Beware of the ‘too nice’ trap! You might think that being impeccable, agreeable, and doing whatever pleases the other person will earn you romantic points. Unfortunately, this lack of self-affirmation often leads to the friend zone. Remember, it’s desirable to show respect and kindness, but suppressing your opinion or needs for the sake of pleasing others might only communicate that you’re more of a friend than a potential romantic partner.

Failing to Spark Romantic Interest

Last but definitely not least, sparking romantic interest involves more than just physical attraction or a shared passion for something. There must be an emotional connection, coupled with thrill, excitement, and a hint of unpredictability. Creating a romantic atmosphere can be as simple as initiating a deeper conversation or planning a fun, exciting outing that breaks the usual friend-like pattern.

To save yourself from the friend zone, remember to communicate your intentions early, maintain a certain level of unavailability, avoid being too agreeable, and continuously strive to stir up romantic interest.

friend zone

Creating a Game Plan: Setting Your Sights Beyond the Friend Zone

To safely navigate out of the friend zone, you’ll need a well thought out game plan. This should go beyond just hanging out with your male friend and hoping that something will spark between the two of you. However, keep in mind that everyone is unique, so customizing your approach might be necessary based on the dynamics of your friendship.

Firstly, understand that you need to change the current dynamic between you two to open new horizons.

Start by making yourself slightly less available. This doesn’t mean you should ignore him or cut him out drastically, but merely create a sense of intrigue — the curiosity of why you’re less available might make him see you in new light.

Additionally, try to create shared experiences that don’t fit the ‘just friends’ mold. This might mean going for an adventurous hike, attending a concert of a band you both love, or watching a romantic movie together. The goal is to create situations that stimulate non-friend-zone feelings.

Don’t forget to open up emotionally as well. If he only sees you as a friend, he might not be privy to your vulnerabilities or your dreams and aspirations. By opening yourself up, you allow him to connect with you on a deeper level.

One final tip: Don’t forget that a slow and steady approach often wins this race! A sudden shift in behavior might seem disingenuous and could even push him further away, so tread lightly and let things evolve naturally over time.

The Art of Flirting: Subtle Techniques to Show Your Intentions

Flirting can seem daunting, but it’s an important way to get your intentions across. Understanding the art can help avoid the friend zone. It’s more about subtext, implication, and the signals you are sending. Here’s how you can turn your flirting game around:

Body Language

Body language is half the conversation. Leaning in while talking, uninterrupted eye contact, or gentle touches on the arm, are all powerful tools. They silently telegraph your romantic interest. Remember, it’s all about subtlety, no aggressive gestures.

Initiate and Maintain Personal Conversations

Showing an interest in someone on a deeper level creates an emotional bond. Encourage him to open up about his feelings and personal life. Sharing your own vulnerabilities, dreams and fears is also crucial. It creates trust and signifies that you’re interested in more than a platonic relationship.

Mind The Compliments

Compliments are potent when used correctly. Avoid generic compliments about his looks. Instead, compliment his character, choices, or skills. This shows you value him beyond physical attraction, gaining his respect and capturing his attention.

Use Humor to Your Advantage

Laughter is infectious and a great way to sparkle chemistry. Be playful and light-hearted. Try not to overshare or vent about your problems, which can be perceived as negativity. Instead, be the person who lifts up his spirits and he will be drawn to you.

Flirting is an interactive dance. It’s about showing admiration without desperation, interest without clinginess, and confidence without arrogance. Practice these skills and you’ll be out of the friend zone in no time.

Tangible Transition: Moving from Platonic to Romantic

Transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one is a delicate process and timing is everything. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this crucial stage.

Express Your Feelings Honestly

Authenticity breeds trust. Give voice to your feelings when you sense the time is right. Choose a relaxed and private setting, and importantly, express your emotions with sincerity and confidence.

Subtlety is Key

While being upfront is great, shocking out of the blue confessions can be confusing and alarming. Gradually drop hints about your feelings. It’s about expressing interest without overwhelming your friend.

Respect Their Response

Easier said than done, but if they don’t feel the same way, it’s imperative to respect their feelings. It can be daunting, but the goal is ensuring everyone feels heard and respected.

Be Patient

Patience is truly a virtue in this scenario. Give your friend time to process their feelings. It’s not a race, so don’t rush the process. The transition, if it happens, needs to feel natural and mutual.

Show You’re Serious

It’s not enough just to express how you feel. Show them that you’re serious about taking the relationship to the next level. Be there at the important moments, do things that a good boyfriend or girlfriend would do, and allow them to see the potential that comes with being more than friends.

Finally, whatever the end result, it’s worth remembering that honesty, patience, and respect for each other’s feelings are the perfect foundation, no matter what kind of relationship you share.

Mastering Communication: Expressing Your Feelings Without Fear

Mastering communication can feel like a daunting task, especially when it involves making yourself vulnerable and revealing your feelings. However, overcoming that fear is crucial to avoiding the friend zone and potentially establishing a romantic relationship. So, how can you express your feelings without fear? Here are some pointers.

Practice Active Listening

Communication is a two-way street, and understanding how to be a good listener is as essential as expressing your own feelings. When he speaks, engage, show interest, and reflect on what he’s saying. Active listening shows respect and forms a deeper connection between the two of you, paving the way for more open and personal conversations.

Know Your Worth

Opening up can be scary, but remember that your feelings are valid and you have every right to express them. Remind yourself of your worth and the value you bring to a potential relationship. This mindset will provide the confidence to communicate openly and honestly.

Choose the Right Time and Place

The environment can greatly impact your talk. Avoid crowded or noisy places where you can’t have a serious conversation. Choose a comfortable and quiet spot, and make sure you both have enough time to talk without feeling hurried or interrupted.

Use “I” Statements

Using direct statements that start with “I feel” rather than “you make me feel” can help convey your emotions without sounding accusatory. This makes space for a productive and respectful dialogue, increasing your chances of a positive response.

Communication is a skill, and like any other, it requires practice to perfect. Don’t fear it, own it. After all, it’s the bridge between friendship and a potential romantic relationship.

avoid the friend zone

The Power of Confidence: How Self-Confidence Can Change Your Relationship

Believe it or not, self-belief can play a monumental role in shifting your relationship from platonic to romantic. This confidence, glowing from within, is not merely about how you view yourself, but majorly about how you carry yourself and interact with others, especially the guy you’re interested in.

A confident personality is attractive and often irresistible. When you have confidence in yourself, not only do you exhibit strength and independence, but you also project yourself as someone who knows their worth and isn’t afraid to show it. This can do wonders for evoking feelings of attraction in others.

Display your self-worth

Begin by displaying your self-worth. Understand your value and don’t be afraid to express it. Show the guy that you are comfortable in your skin and proud of who you are. This shouldn’t be confused with arrogance, it’s about having a healthy self-esteem. This form of self-assuredness can create a magnetic pull towards you.

Emanate Positivity

Confidence isn’t just about command, but also positivity. A positive outlook can make you easier to be around and more enjoyable to interact with, both of which are qualities that can help you avoid slipping into the friend zone. Positivity is contagious, and it tends to draw people in, creating a closer, more intimate bond.

Don’t Fear Rejection

Remember that fear of rejection can be a serious confidence killer. It’s normal to crave acceptance, especially from someone you have feelings for; however, tying your self-worth to that acceptance can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt. If he doesn’t respond as you hope, know that it isn’t a reflection of your worth. Maintain your confidence, and you’ll find that this courage can be incredibly attractive.

All in all, maintaining self-confidence is an essential ingredient in paving the path from friendship to something more. Ideas about yourself radiate out and impact how others perceive and relate to you. So let your confident, vibrant personality shine through. You’re worth it!

Timing is Everything: Finding the Right Moment to Move Out of the Friend Zone

Timing, the often-underestimated aspect of any relationship, has the power to make or break your journey from friend zone to romance. Knowing when to make your move, revealing your feelings at the right moment, and choosing the ideal time to transition from friendship to something deeper requires a blend of patience and awareness. Let’s discuss how to make timing work in your favor.

Understanding Their Personal Life and Schedule

Before deciding to make your move, consider his personal life and schedule. Is he currently dealing with a lot of stress at work, school, or home? If so, it might not be the best time to introduce additional emotional complexity. Wait for a time when he’s more relaxed and receptive.

Choose a Comfortable Environment

Pick a setting that is comfortable and familiar to both of you when it’s time to reveal your feelings. This can help reduce stress and make the conversation feel more natural. A sudden shift in relationship dynamics can be challenging, and choosing the right environment can play a vital role in creating a smooth transition.

Identifying Positive Signs

Keep an eye out for increasingly positive signs in your interactions, such as more frequent and deeper conversations or increased physical contact. These signs could indicate growing trust or even romantic interest. There’s never a perfect moment, but noticing these indicators can help you pick a better time to express your feelings.

Prepare for Their Reaction

No matter how well you think you know someone, it’s impossible to predict his exact reaction. Prepare yourself for a variety of outcomes. Regardless of the response, respect his feelings and keep your reaction as positive and understanding as possible.

Timing isn’t about waiting indefinitely for the perfect moment—it’s about assessing the situation, understanding his emotional state, and moving forward with patience and respect.

The Importance of Patience: Why Rushing Can Lead to the Friend Zone

Patience is of the essence when it comes to building relationships, especially when you’re hoping to transition a friendship into a romantic relationship.

Rushing can often scare him away, making him feel overwhelmed and creating tension in the relationship. It’s important to give him the space and time he needs to adjust to the idea of you being more than a friend. Understand that this might happen gradually and each person will require different timelines.

Your patience and respect for his feelings and decision-making process can be seen as an act of genuine care and understanding. It will ultimately show him that your intentions are pure and that you value the bond shared, ensuring a progression towards a possible romantic relationship without pushing them away or causing them to feel uncomfortable.

So how can you exercise patience? Start by giving him time and not expecting immediate changes in the relationship dynamics immediately you express your feelings. It’s also key to control your needs and desires to avoid seeming desperate or pushy. Respect his perspective and give him room to breathe.

Remember, rushing can often lead to the friend zone because it may make him feel pressured. On the other hand, being patient and understanding shows him that you’re more interested in him than merely changing the status of your relationship. Practicing patience can be the key to successfully avoiding the friend zone and building a potential romantic relationship.

Preserving the Friendship: How to Maintain Your Bond Even If Romance Doesn’t Bloom

Achieving your romantic goals with a friend isn’t always guaranteed, yet it’s vital to avoid severing the friendly ties you’ve built over time. Even if things don’t pan out as you’d wish, maintaining your friendship is still possible and valuable. Here’s how to do it.

Handle Rejection Gracefully

When the time comes, and the answer to your honesty is a ‘no,’ don’t react painfully. It’s understandably sad and disappointing. But holding onto the negativity won’t help anyone. Instead, show understanding and acceptance. After all, his feelings matter too. Just as you want respect for your emotions, be ready to reciprocate that understanding and empathy.

Give Each Other Space

Post-rejection can be an awkward time for both of you. It’s fine to take some time apart to allow the tension to ease. This space often helps you both recalibrate your feelings, process the event, and minimize discomfort. It’s a temporary break, not an end. You’re prioritizing the friendship’s health by allowing it to breathe.

Don’t force things to be “normal” immediately

There might be a natural urge to make things go back to ‘normal’ instantly. Resist this. Give it time and let the relationship slope back to its platonic status at a comfortable pace. Accept any lingering awkwardness as part of the process and, soon enough, that phase will pass. What’s important is not rushing the process.

Maintain Respect and Courtesy

Though the romantic side might linger, let courtesy and respect reign. Let go of any hard feelings and continue treating each other with the same respect as before. Threading the thin line between love and friendship can be challenging, but with caution and understanding, it can certainly be achieved. Always remember that preserving mutual respect is crucial to maintaining your friendship.

Stay Positive and Focus on the Friendship

Instead of focusing on the failed romantic attempt, keep your sights set on the friendship that you both cherish. Talk about the things you used to enjoy as friends, engage in activities you both love, be there for each other, and the friendship will strengthen over time. Positivity and persistence are key.

Navigating Rejection: Tips for Bouncing Back If Things Don’t Go as Planned

Navigating rejection can be a tough process. It’s never easy to handle a “no”, especially from someone you’ve shown romantic interest in. But it’s important to understand that rejection too is a part of life, and it’s how you handle it that matters the most.

First and foremost, remember that rejection is not a reflection of who you are as a person. It doesn’t define you, and the fact that one person doesn’t see a potential romantic relationship with you doesn’t mean that no one else will.

Next, avoid the blame game. It’s easy to blame yourself or the other person for the way things played out. But dwelling on what-ifs and should-haves is not going to change anything. It’s better to accept the situation and start working on moving forward.

Take some time for self-reflection. Use this as an opportunity to understand your feelings better. Are you feeling upset because of the rejection itself, or because you feel you’ve lost a chance at a relationship? Once you understand where your emotions are coming from, managing them becomes much easier.

Remember, it’s okay to feel sad. You’re allowed to be disappointed and to take some time to heal if that’s what you need. This is a natural part of human emotions and it’s important not to suppress your feelings.

Lastly, try to learn from the experience. Rejection is tough, but it also helps us grow as individuals. It deepens our understanding of our personal emotions and improves our ability to handle negative situations. Ask yourself, what can you learn from this experience? What can you do differently in your future interactions?

Getting past a rejection is no small feat, but with the right mindset and a focus on self-improvement, you will emerge stronger and more resilient.

Wrapping Up Avoiding the Friend Zone

So, there you have it. You’re now equipped with an arsenal of strategies and wisdom to help you step forward confidently without falling into the dreaded friend zone trap. Remember, the key to avoiding the friend zone is about open communication, expressing your interest subtly yet clearly, and maintaining your dignity and self-worth throughout the process.

Don’t forget, though that every situation is unique. It’s important to always respect the other person’s feelings and decision either way. If you do find yourself in the friend zone, despite following all the steps, don’t be disheartened. In fact, understanding your feelings and airing them out is a brave step in itself.

The friend zone doesn’t have to be a life sentence. With the right mindset and approach, you could change the course of your relationship from platonic to romantic.

But what if you don’t succeed in transitioning your relationship from just friends to something more? Take a step back, give it some time, and refocus your energy to move forward with your friendship. It’s essential to preserve your bond regardless of the outcome.

Without a doubt, the journey out of the friend zone can be a tricky one, but now you’ve got the road map and compass in hand. Once you’re ready, you can navigate this challenging expedition, filled with strength, subtlety, and more than a little confidence.

Lastly, sometimes we may all need a little professional guidance. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor or relationship expert for personalized advice if this all feels overly daunting. The most crucial part of this journey is to take care of you. Friends or more than friends, you’re worth it!

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

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How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

Do you want to know how to spark an instant connection with someone new? Here are some simple to follow dating tips that will help you make a great first impression!

Of course you want to make a great first impression when you meet someone new, especially when that someone is a handsome potential boyfriend. It’s actually easier than you would think! Here are four simple dating tips to help you shine….

Nix The Narcissism

It’s easy to get caught up in a one-sided conversation, where you talk non-stop about yourself in an effort to impress, especially when your nerves take over. Sadly, this tactic will usually backfire, leaving him disinterested, and leaving you wondering why. The next time you meet a new man, avoid the temptation to over-share. Instead of making it all about you, keep the conversation flowing back and forth. Of course, don’t interrogate him with questions. But do encourage him to talk about himself now and then. Respond with genuine interest, and really get to know each other!

Stay Cool, Calm, And Collected

It’s normal to feel a little anxious and jittery on a first date. But don’t let your nerves get the best of you! Take a deep breath, relax and focus on him. Chances are he’s just as nervous as you, so make him feel at ease and the conversation will flow naturally! Speaking of conversation, remember to speak slowly and clearly. Rambling on is a sure sign of insecurity. Men are attracted to confidence, and if he feels comfortable when he’s with you he will want to spend more time with you!

Be Mindful Of Body Language

According to Psychology Today, being in sync with another person is attractive. If you adjust your posture to match his, and follow his gestures, it will make you infinitely more alluring. To establish an instant connection, mirror the tilt of his head, make eye contact, smile when he smiles, and shift your body along with him. We can communication volumes with our bodies! Occasionally lean in toward him when he says something interesting. Keep you feet pointed forward towards him, with your legs uncrossed and comfortable. Arms should be also be uncrossed in a natural position with your hands relaxed and open. And be a bit flirtatious by playfully touching your jewelry or your hair. This is all considered positive body language, a hot topic when it comes dating advice for women!

Keep Things Real

If you’ve read any of my books, you know self-esteem is a key issue in my dating advice for women. You are a quality woman, and you should never change yourself for anyone or give up who you are, especially for a man. Don’t lie and say things just to impress a guy. Be open and honest about your likes and dislikes right from the start, and let him get to know the real you, and how amazing you are! If he doesn’t like you for who you are, or if you don’t have anything in common, he’s not a good fit for you anyway! Don’t sweat it. You can have your pick of men, and your perfect match may be just around the corner waiting to have an instant connection with you!

If your new acquaintance doesn’t heed this advice, cut him some slack if he makes a less than stellar first impression. Nerves can get the best of him too, and there may be a great guy hidden beneath all that narcissistic, insecure rambling. Now if he still makes it all about him when you meet again, that’s a whole ‘nother story!

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