Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

Why is he texting me if he’s not interested? You’re here for that answer because it’s aggravating you and you’re confused. You met him and you like him, he’s texting you, but he still seems disinterested. He’s hot and cold, keeping you on the hook but not pulling the trigger. He texts, but he never asks you out. What gives?

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested? You’re Second Choice

The truth is he might have a regular girlfriend, but he’s found you and you make a good Plan B. If he’s already a little bored in his other relationship, he may be looking for alternatives.

He’s still considering whether he’ll stay in the old relationship or choose you instead, so he’s texting you even though he doesn’t have a plan.

He has options and he thinks he’s all set.

He Only Wants Sex

It’s possible he wants a friends-with-benefits relationship, at least for now. Very often when you’re left asking, why is he texting me if he’s not interested, this is the answer.

A man will have sex with a woman if he finds her the slightest bit attractive. This doesn’t mean he wants to marry her. In fact, a woman who will sleep with him too soon is often the furthest thing he wants as a long-term mate.

The woman he wants to make a commitment to has her act together and wouldn’t give in to sex too soon. I distinguish these two types of women in this way: rest stops and keepers. The rest stops are the women men date to have sex with. They’re the women men date until they find the keeper. The keeper is a woman who is confident, has a good job, is financially sound, and challenges him.

Obviously, you want to be a keeper. If you fear you’re a rest stop, there are ways to change.

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested

He’s Lonely

It’s possible that the answer to why is he texting me if he’s not interested is that he’s lonely. He may just be looking for someone to fill the gaps and ease his loneliness. If this is the case, one of these scenarios is probably the reason:

  • He just moved to the area and doesn’t know anyone
  • He just got out of a relationship
  • The two of you just broke up
  • He has a crush on another woman who won’t give him the time of day

Loneliness sucks, so having a friend to talk to can be a nice way to feel a little better. It’s possible your relationship could turn into something more, but he might be hurting right now and just needs a friend. If you’re fine being his friend, it’s all good.

Sometimes people click via text. This is especially true if you met him online and haven’t met yet, or you’ve met once or twice but there was no obvious chemistry.

The attraction is in the banter. You seem to gel conversationally, but in person, everything falls flat. You might be a laugh riot in text and he’s fully entertained by these conversations.

If you want this guy to get serious, back off on being so entertaining. Make him see you in person to discover your witty banter and be entertained.

He’s a Player

I almost hate to bring this up because it’s a yucky answer to the question of why is he texting me if he’s not interested.

Some guys are players and the only reason they’re showing interest in you is that you can better their lives in some way. Usually, it’s with sex, but sometimes it’s status. You have a good job and therefore increase his social status, or you drive an expensive car, again increasing his social status.

Chances are you’re not the only female he’s engaging with right now. There are probably several others. He’ll text you for a while, then he’ll ghost you and turn up again a few weeks

He found someone else who was offering him more than you were, but she figured out his games and left, or her usefulness in his life diminished. Either way, this guy isn’t worth your time and energy.

Oh the Mysterious Ways of Men!

There's no way for a woman to know intuitively what to expect from a man. That's why I'm here! There are many differences between men and women and this article shows you a few. But there are others. Click the button below to read those articles too!

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Insecure

Players lack confidence. That’s why they’re attracted to women with low confidence. They exude confidence, but their confidence is strictly in their ability to get into your pants because they’ve practiced it a lot.

A man who is insecure might not be a player. He could be inexperienced with women, or he might not feel that he’s lovable. He could also fear rejection, so a good move for you may be to ask him out.

Show him you’re interested in him and boost his ego a bit. If you like him and you want to see where it can go, take the chance. If he still says no, it might be time to cut him loose.

His Ego Needs a Boost

It’s possible that when he’s with you, he gets an ego boost. Around his friends, he’s a schmuck, but when he has a beautiful woman or a woman who improves his social status, his ego gets a boost.

His self-esteem isn’t that high, but when he’s with you, he feels better about himself. He was able to snag a beautiful woman. Woohoo. In his mind, this says he can get any woman he wants, or at least he wants people to think that.

why is he texting me if he's not interested

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Not Sure What He Wants

This guy is probably afraid of a commitment. This type of guy wants you in his life, but he’s scared to death that you’ll want more than he can offer.

Because he really does like you and probably wants a relationship with you, he keeps texting you. This is his way of maintaining a connection and keeping you on the hook.

He’s so fearful of commitment, but at the same time, so attracted to you.

This is a huge conflict for a man, and he might not understand the reason for his inability to commit.

He’s Bored

He hasn’t texted you for weeks, if not months, then he starts again. You’re boggled and wondering why is he texting me if he’s not interested. He probably has a lame excuse for his absence in your life, but he realized how much he misses you.

This is all a bunch of garbage. He’s feeding you the lines he thinks will work to enable you to forgive him and keep talking to him.

The reason he was gone is that he found someone else. The reason he is back is that she left him because she figured out he wasn’t going to commit.

You don’t need to be any man’s boredom buster. You can do better!

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested? He Likes the Attention

This guy has an overwhelming need to feel admired and wanted, but it isn’t so overwhelming that he wants to make a commitment to you.

All he wants is your attention. He just needs to feel that he’s desirable. You probably text him more than he texts you. You reply with longer texts while he gives back the bare minimum.

The best way to handle this is to slow down how often and how much you reply. Give less entertaining texts and reduce the engaging replies you send.

He’s Just out of a Relationship

This is kind of like dealing with a man who’s lonely, except this guy has baggage to unload. His wounds are fresh and while he likes the attention he’s receiving from you, you’re just filling in a gap for him.

He really misses his ex, whether he realizes it or not, and your texts are keeping him going while he sorts through the breakup.

This guy is a mess inside. Whether he broke up with her or vice versa, he has a lot of stuff to deal with. Getting into a relationship with a guy who just ended another one is never a good idea.

why is he texting me if he's not interested

He’s a Shy Guy

People who are shy are often misunderstood. They’re perceived as being snobby or standoffish when they’re not. They’re simply not outwardly comfortable.

Texting is safe for a shy guy. He doesn’t have to risk rejection if he’s only texting you.

Texting is his safety net. He feels more comfortable tapping out a conversation than having one with you in person.

If your guy is a shy guy, you can ask him out. This increases his security because he now feels there’s less of a chance of rejection. As he gets to know you, he’ll come out of his shell, if you accept him for who he is and don’t push him too far too fast.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Worried About the Opinions of Others

He’s texting you because he likes you, but there’s a roadblock in advancing your relationship. He’s worried about what others will think.

This worry might come from how you met. Some folks don’t like to admit they met online while others worry about meeting at a place they don’t want to admit to, like a bar or club.

Another reason he might be afraid of other people’s opinions is if there’s an age discrepancy or you’re ethnically different. I once coached a woman whose husband was from Jamaica. Her family was from Portugal and not very accepting of not only racial differences but people from other countries.

Even though they both lived in the U.S., her family still held these beliefs. Under those circumstances, it would be difficult to share a love interest.

He’s Unsure of What You Want

Somewhere along the way, women were taught to be coy and elusive with men. This isn’t helpful because men don’t pick up on cues very well. Men need you to be a straight-shooter.

If he’s confused about what you want from the relationship, he’ll hold back to avoid rejection.

Being coy and elusive sends him mixed messages. One minute, you seem to be interested in him, then you spend a lot of time being aloof or vague.

It’s fine to be aloof with a guy if he loses interest or seems to be going rogue, but otherwise, don’t play games like that. Men are simply clueless to the whole thing and the message you’re trying to send is lost.

Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s a Dating Rookie

Some men, especially young men, have limited dating experience. Even a man whose first relationship started when he was young but lasted a long time will be inexperienced.

He might not really know how to behave in a dating relationship. This doesn’t make him undesirable; it just makes him unsure of how to proceed.

Be patient with this type of man. He wants to date you, but he’s unsure of what his next move should be. You may need to guide this relationship a little and help him out. Provide him with obvious cues as to what you want.

“Hey, let’s go to a movie this weekend.” This way, he has come ideas of what to do next time.

While I encourage patience, don’t wait too long for this guy to get his dating sea legs. He should start to figure it out after a while. The guy who doesn’t probably needs to practice on someone else.

Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do

How can you handle a guy who texts but seems disinterested? A lot of that answer depends on the reason for his actions. If he’s a player or using you for status or boredom busting, it’s time to exit the relationship. Although that’s not even right because you don’t really have a relationship with this type of guy.

If his issue is his own lack of security or confidence, you can try being patient with him. Guide him along and let him know you’re interested in him. Make the first move and see if he improves with time. If he doesn’t, you’re best off cutting your losses, but if he does, you’ve probably won yourself a loyal man.

You should be able to have an honest discussion with him about how you feel. Don’t be accusatory but let him know how his actions are impacting you. This won’t work for a player or a guy who’s using you for some reason that only positively impacts him. It will work for a guy who’s struggling with his emotions and insecurities.

Use “I” language. It’s much harder to dispute someone’s statement if it’s an “I” statement. For example, “Gregg, I feel like you want to do things together, but you never ask. It makes me feel as if you don’t really want to be with me.”

If you exit the situation and he’s not a player or a user, he may come to realize the loss of you in his life. In that instance, he might discover that he wants you back and will make a better effort to win you back.

Conclusion

The bottom line is that you deserve a guy who can pay attention to you and be there for you. If the guy you’re texting with right now isn’t that guy, it may be time to move on.

If a guy is texting you but doesn’t seem otherwise interested in dating you, the choice is yours on how to proceed.

Just make sure you don’t stay out of fear of being alone. Stay because you believe he has the potential to be a better guy and you want to see where it can go.

If you find that you’re in this situation too frequently, it might be time to try Riding Solo for a while.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.

Should I Tell Him How I Feel?

Should I Tell Him How I Feel?

Hell, yes! You should tell him how you feel!

I get the “Should I tell him how I feel?” question all the time from women who are scared to share their feelings with a man they like.

They ask:

“What about the game Gregg?”
“What about the challenge and keeping the mystery you always talk about?”

Or

Shouldn’t he make the first move?

I get it. And, yes, I have said those things – so let’s clear things up now.

It’s how you act after you make it clear that matters! If you tell a man you have feelings for him and start texting him to death, lining up dates, and stalking his ex, yes you will chase the horse out of the barn.

BUT,

If you say, “Jim, I’m starting to like your shapely ass”, and back off, amazing things could happen. He’ll expect you to start texting him a million times and, instead, he is shocked that the opposite happens – you go back to your amazing fun-filled life where you are happy with or without his shapely ass.

Do you see the difference? You bulldoze through the friendship crap and you open the door to love while you create challenge and mystery.

You put the ball in his court to do what he wants with it. If he does nothing, then you try one more time two weeks later, or you move on without any hurt.

Then, you do it again with another man who gets your attention.

Should I Tell Him How I Feel?

The key is developing a vibrant social life so you have these opportunities. Next, have the confidence to tell men how you feel without taking a hit if you don’t get your desired outcome.

Put these two things in place and the rest is easy!

How?

Get your confidence here.
Get your social life here.

The alternative? Wait, wonder and hope he makes the first move.

Flirt endlessly.

Both suck! Get it over with.

Tell him how you feel. I guarantee you’ll be shocked by the outcome. You’ll find that the guy you thought wanted nothing to do with you wants to grab a pizza this weekend.

And, you’ll feel great about yourself for doing what few women dare try!

What’s the worst outcome? He smiles and you never hear from him again? Big friggin’ deal. Stop allowing yourself to imagine the worst outcome and start envisioning the best outcome. In fact, do this with any decision you make.

So, when you ask, “Should I tell him how I feel?”, my answer is a resounding yes!

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

4 Ways to Bring Out the Hero Instinct in a Man

4 Ways to Bring Out the Hero Instinct in a Man

Unlock the Hero Instinct in Men

The hero instinct in men is something you may dismiss as silly or unimportant, but it’s an essential aspect of your relationship.

Allow me to explain.

Men Show Love in Different Ways

Before we dip into the hero instinct in men, we need to get on the same page about men and how they show love.

While a woman waits, sometimes impatiently, for a man to say I love you, she misses the signs that he loves her. Many breakups occur because of this very fundamental misunderstanding.

A man shows his love by doing and fixing things for you. He mows the lawn before your big birthday party with your friends. He repairs the leak under your sink. Your car maintenance is taken care of. He builds the shelves you want in your office.

Those are signs of love.

So is being your hero.

As children, we all have a hero. For boys, it’s often a superhero like Batman, The Hulk, or a sports figure like my hero, Bobby Orr. Girls might view Wonder Woman as a superhero or another woman like Maya Angelou, Mia Hamm, or Oprah.

Even though we grow up, men still long to be a hero in their life. They fantasize about being heroes in their everyday lives, saving an older adult from an attacker or swooping in to save the world from terrorism. Okay, maybe a regular guy like me isn’t going to save the world from terrorism, but a guy can dream.

And we do dream of being your hero. It makes me feel great when my girlfriend treats me as her hero, adding to my attraction to her.

You’re a strong woman who doesn’t need a hero, but your guy still needs to be your hero. You want to give him everything and ask him for little in return. You want to take care of him. But this usually attracts players, not heroes.

hero instinct

Trigger the Hero Instinct in Men to Find Your Perfect Man

Compliment Him

Everyone loves to be complimented when they’ve done something, even men when they’ve done something extraordinary, even men. But it’s essential to deliver a meaningful compliment, not just an off-hand compliment.

If you compliment a carpenter on his excellent woodworking skills, he’ll think, “Eh. I hear that all the time.” But if you tell him how you admire how considerate he is to people he meets, you just triggered his hero instinct.

The caution to this tool, and the others you learn on this site, is to use them sparingly. A compliment every day loses its value, just like complimenting a carpenter on his woodworking skills. Something said too often has little positive impact.

Compliment him in areas of his life where he’s less likely to receive them from others, and they will be more meaningful, mainly because you’re the only one saying them.

Challenge Him

Superman doesn’t just show up for every disaster. He shows up when nobody else can save the world from evil. Your job is to trigger this in him, but maybe less dramatically.

Challenge him to a game of racquetball or a bowling match. Have a race at the grocery store to see who can get all the items on their list first. See who can ski to the bottom of the hill first without falling.

Help him put on his cape and defeat the enemy.

Ask for Help

There is no shame in asking for help. I know that women are viewed as strong and independent in today’s culture, and I’m all for it. But your guy wants to help you. Remember, it’s how he shows his love for you.

So when you dismiss his offers for help, you’re not allowing him to show his love for you. I beg you, for the sake of Gotham City, ask him for help!

Men like to fix things, move things, maintain things and even pick up the dog pooh. No, it isn’t as romantic as bringing you flowers or chocolate, but it’s how men protect and save you from the evil world outside.

Ask him for help from time to time. Unless he really is all thumbs, encourage him to replace the pipe under your sink. Enlist his help in painting the bedroom before your parents come to stay.

Just don’t forget to compliment him on a job well done too!

hero instinct in men

Hero Instinct – Make Him Work for You

Nothing worth having comes without a fight. Those are important words and apply not just to material things but to relationships.

If you’re too easy to get, a man will quickly lose interest in you. Make him fight for you.

How?

Don’t be available for every date request he throws out there, especially if it’s last minute. But, when you decline his invitation, suggest another.

“I’m sorry, Dan, I can’t go to dinner with you tonight, but I was thinking about hiking this Saturday. Would you like to join me?”

“No, I’m sorry, Steve, but I’m not available for a movie tonight. I have Yoga. Can we move it to Tuesday?”

There are other things you can do to make him work for you:

  • Break your routine – when he zigs, you zag!
  • Change your look; who doesn’t love a new hairstyle?
  • Stay positive even when the world around you is constantly in misery.
  • Be open to all ideas and be open to trying new things
  • Thrive outside your comfort zone
  • Take on new hobbies and adventures, so you always have stories to tell!

The Hero Instinct in Men

Now that you better understand the hero instinct in men use it to your advantage. Your confidence shines through when you do the things you just learned, and great men love confident women.

A man who doesn’t feel he’s your hero will begin to look for a new woman eventually, and that’s unfortunate because encouraging his hero instinct is so easy.

Relationships without the hero instinct fail more often than not. Don’t become part of that statistic!

It's Time to Understand Men!

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

Journaling Techniques That Work!

Journaling Techniques That Work!

Whether it’s a personal or couples journal, starting a journal is like starting a new workout – you need great journaling techniques! Otherwise, it’s great at first but fizzles out fast and before you know it, the excitement and consistency wane into more of a meh kind of feeling.

Well, there are too many benefits to both journaling and exercise to give up so quickly, so today I have some journaling techniques to keep you on track.

Journaling Techniques: Don’t Make Your Journal Too Large

You’ll see why this is such a big deal in a minute. Your first journal doesn’t need to be a full-size notebook. The pages are larger to fill, and it takes up more space.

Instead, go for a smaller journal. Most discount and drug stores carry notebooks in a variety of sizes. Go for one that’s big enough to write in but not so big that it feels intimidating.

Keep Your Journal with You

Now you see why I suggested a small journal. A small journal is easy to stuff into your handbag, bookbag or even a back pocket. You can easily carry it with you wherever you go, and I strongly recommend doing so.

You never know when a moment will pass by that you would like to remember. Writing about it in your journal can help you recall the memory.

Don’t Create Too Many Rules for Yourself

If you’re one who likes to make rules, pay attention to these journaling tips:

  • I will write in it every morning as soon as I wake up
  • I will write two pages every day
  • I won’t write negative things
  • I will only write about personal stuff, not work

The problem with ‘rules’ like these is that once you break the rules you established, you’ll be less likely to continue.

It’s like eating a big piece of chocolate cake while you’re dieting. As soon as you’ve broken your no sugar rule, you figure the whole thing is a huge waste of time anyway and you give up.

Write in your journal when it fits each day. One day, it might be first thing while another day might be a lunchtime entry.

Setting a rule about how many pages to write can be a good thing, but it can also force you to give up if you feel you don’t have anything to say that day. Whatever length of journal entry you choose for that day is fine.

Journaling Techniques: Review Your Journal Entries

Of all the journaling techniques here, this is one of my favorites.

Go over your entries at the end of the week and look for repeating words or themes. For example, if you find yourself writing a lot about being tired, you can look back on the week and see what may have happened to make you feel so tired. Perhaps there’s something you can fix.

You may find yourself using negative self-talk in a journal. This is something to observe and fix as soon as possible. If you’re writing it down, it’s also banging around in your head. Turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk is key to mental health.

journaling techniques

Important Journaling Techniques Include Creating a Journaling Space

You can really write in your journal anywhere, but if possible, set aside a place where you can tune out the noises around you and focus on your thoughts. This is a great journaling technique for those who live in a busy household!

I had a friend who used her oversized closet for her journaling and meditation spot. She cleared out a corner and put a comfy chair inside. She was able to use the light already in the closet and made this space all about peaceful thoughtfulness.

If you prefer to be outdoors, find a spot where you can feel calm and peaceful. Wherever you decide to write is fine, as long as it’s a spot that is as isolated from distractions as possible.

Alternatively, you can journal at a time of day where you experience fewer distractions like first thing in the morning or after everyone else has gone to bed.

Redefine Journal to Fit Your Needs

This is an important journaling technique for people who struggle for topics! Your journal doesn’t need to be the same thing, day after day.

Use it as a brain dump space. Write lists of things you want to do. Write your goals or dreams. Today is my grandmother’s birthday, so when I wrote in my journal, I wrote about my fond memories of her.

There are truly no rules about journaling. Nobody needs to read what you write so write for you and you alone. Put down whatever is weighing on your mind at that moment.

Don’t Make It a Negativity Space

Of all the journaling techniques here, this one is probably the most important!

It’s fine to write about something bad that happens in a day, but your journal should not be a daily dose of what’s wrong with my life.

If you find yourself in this mode, shift gears and write some statements of gratitude. What can you be grateful for today?

Gratitude is very powerful for positive mental health. It helps you focus on the good things that are happening in your life. Even if you’re grateful for a box of tissues or a roll of toilet paper, be grateful!

There are days when your entries will be about something bad that happened and that’s fine, all I ask is that this journal doesn’t become a place to wallow in self-pity or complain continuously about everything that’s wrong in your life.

Find Writing Prompts

Pinterest is full of journal writing prompts for all types of occasions. It won’t take but a minute or two to find lists of 30 or more prompts you can use. I like to list them in my journal at the beginning of the month and then go through them, writing about a new one each day.

This not only helps me dig into topics I might otherwise avoid, but it also helps me avoid the plague of the blank page.

Make it a Judgment-Free Zone: Journaling Techniques for Building Confidence

Your journal should be something you are free to write, draw or be creative in. You can make an entire entry by drawing a picture or writing and then painting over it with gesso.

Whatever you do in your journal, though, don’t sit back and judge it after. No, “I never should have written that about Julie’s boyfriend. He’s not so bad.”

If it’s a thought you had and it was important enough to write it down, leave it and don’t sweat it. It’s not like your friend will read the entry.

journaling techniques

Key Journaling Techniques: Allow Your Thoughts to Go Where They Go

Sometimes, we try to avoid unpleasant thoughts, but if you start writing in a journal, your mind might just take off on a tangent. This mother of all journaling techniques is about letting your thoughts wander wherever they go without slamming on the brakes because it gets uncomfortable.

Something might be eating away at you and if you start writing, it just might pop out. It can be very freeing to write about things like that – things that are bothering you.

Sometimes, you don’t even know what is bothering you until you start writing and then, there it is, big as you please, staring back at you on the page.

That’s the point at which you just kind of say, “Well hmm. So that’s where that is coming from!”

For Those Who Don’t Like Mistakes: Use a Pen

It’s easy to erase things you wish you hadn’t written, but the truth is that if they came out while journaling, they needed to be said.

Therefore, use a pen or marker to write in your journal. Again, if you get on Pinterest, you will find tons of examples of journal pages done in a multitude of color.

This isn’t necessary, but if it helps you, go for it. Some people are more visual than others and they enjoy this type of thing.

Me? I’m a guy. Just give me a pen that writes and I’m all set.

How Can You Make a Habit with These Journaling Techniques?

You’ve got a few journaling tips under your belt so now let’s look at how you can make this a habit!

It can take up to two months or even a little longer to make something into a habit so how can you make a habit out of journaling?

Decorate the Cover

This is a great journaling technique for those who are creative – and even those who aren’t for that matter.

Make the journal fit you. Grab some decorative paper at the hobby store or some of that washi tape stuff (what the heck is washi tape anyway?) and decorate your journal. If it’s a plain cover, draw on it or glue pictures on it.

Whatever you do, make it something you like to look at. Make it feel more like it belongs to you.

One caution, however, would be to make sure your embellishments won’t get damaged when you carry your journal around.

Try to use these Journaling Techniques at The Same Time Every Day

I know in the journaling techniques above, I said no rules and I don’t want you to make this a rule. It’s more about fitting journaling into your routine. Is this something you could wake up fifteen minutes early for? Is it something you can do as soon as you get to work, before everyone else gets there?

Try to figure out where in your daily routine journaling fits so it’s not so hard to make it part of your day.

Schedule an Appointment with Your Journal

Once you know where it fits into your daily routine, set an appointment on your phone calendar so you get a daily reminder.

If nothing else, it will be annoying enough to at least give it some consideration. After it becomes part of your daily routine, you won’t need the appointment any longer and you can delete it.

Give It Priority in Your Life

All the journaling techniques in the world won’t make a whit of difference if journaling isn’t a priority in your life, so make it a priority.

Know why you want to do it and what value it has to you. If this isn’t something that is important to you, you won’t do it. Know the why for you.

Make It for You

Don’t do this for anyone else but you. If you are journaling because someone told you to or because someone urged you for some reason or another, you won’t make it a week before you toss it aside.

Make this something you do for you – a form of self-care. If there is nothing else you do in your day for yourself, do this for you.

A couple’s journal is an excellent way to bond with your significant other. Me. You. Together Forever is not just a couple’s journal but a planner too. Using this journal will help you keep your schedules synced, answer difficult questions and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about Me. You. Together Forever here or you can purchase it by clicking below.

Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One!

Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One!

 Can a Bucket List Journal Change Your Life?

Can a bucket list journal really change your life?

The movie The Bucket List introduced the idea of making a list of things you want to experience before you die or kick the bucket. In the movie, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson play hospital roomies, both terminal. Nicholson’s very wealthy character decides he needs a bucket list and, with time, the much poorer (financially) Freeman secretly creates his own list.

The two break out of hospital and begin their adventure of ticking items off their lists. But, the items on their bucket lists aren’t the items many people put on their own lists today. Here’s a sampling of the bucket lists from the movie:

  • Witness something truly majestic
  • Help a complete stranger
  • Laugh until I cry
  • Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
  • Drive a Shelby Mustang
  • Get a tattoo
  • Go skydiving
  • Visit Stonehenge
  • Find the joy in your life
  • Drive a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China

There were a few others, but this is most of the list. I show you this not to brag about some movie knowledge – heck I had to google this stuff. Instead, I show you this because several of the items on this list are truly remarkable experiences most of us won’t think to include.

Should You Create a Bucket List?

If you’re really asking me my opinion, then yes, I believe you should create a bucket list. However, having said that, I believe you should carefully consider what you put on your bucket list journal.

Creating a bucket list is another way of saying you are setting goals for yourself and this is never a bad thing. When you set goals as an individual, you build your confidence and also give your life purpose and direction.

When you set goals as a couple, you build lasting memories and intimacy. But, there are other reasons to use a bucket list journal:

  • You begin to examine what you really want out of life
  • It helps you determine where you are today and where you want to be in the future
  • You become energized by the possibilities that lie before you
  • It allows you to look past your comfort zone and think outside your safe zone
  • You develop a sense of accomplishment as you tick off the items you’ve completed
  • It keeps you from becoming idle – there’s always something to work toward
  • You’re more interesting

What Should be on Your Bucket List?

What you put on your bucket list is up to you, but I do have a few suggestions. Rather than seeing how many outrageous trips to foreign places you can come up with, envision adventures that will truly add value to your life.

This may be some trips to foreign countries or other states, but it might be things like you saw on the Bucket List movie list – things that are more meaningful and amazing.

Make it Meaningful

If you didn’t see the movie, Jack Nicholson’s character accomplished kissing the most beautiful woman in the world by kissing his long-lost daughter. It wasn’t some celebrity or model. Instead, it was a healed relationship.

When you set goals, they should be attainable. and the same goes for the items you place in your bucket list journal. Visiting the Louvre or riding a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China are fine if they’re attainable to you in the future.

Goals should be relevant to your life and this is true of your bucket list items as well. If you don’t really like airplanes that much, setting goals to fly all over the world seems like a waste of a dream.

Overcoming your fear of flying is a fine bucket list item, and maybe more relevant to your life, but that can be done at a local airport.

To create your list, imagine you have just weeks to live. Would you want to spend those weeks traveling? If so, go for it! If not, what would you like to do? Repair relationships? Make sure those closest to you know how much you care? Spend time with a loved one you don’t get to see very often?

Our Dream Catcher is your personal bucket list journal. Use it to spark ideas, plan your adventures and even record the results. The journal is large enough to provide plenty of space to record photographs and memories of your adventures. You’ll find dozens of prompts to help you come up with ideas for your list as well.

Buy your copy today by clicking one of the buttons below.

Using a Bucket List Journal to Create Your Bucket List

There are as many ways to create a bucket list as there are people making them. My best tips for creating your own bucket list are:

  • Think about those people who are most important to you – how can you enrich those relationships?
  • Imagine your future. What do you dream of doing? Is it something you believe you will be able to do?
  • When you think about the legacy you would like to leave behind, what does that look like?
  • If you are in a relationship, how can the two of you build your foundation as a couple?
  • Find ten amazing things to do within an hour or two of your own home and consider doing them with either your partner or best friend or both
  • Are there relationships you’ve let slide over the years that you would like to rekindle? How can you do that?
  • Are there financial goals that will make your life easier, like zeroing your debt or building a savings?

Give yourself some time and recognize that a bucket list journal doesn’t form overnight. It will take time and introspection to come up with the list that’s right for you.

Bucket List Journal for Couples

If you’re in a relationship with someone, make your individual lists and make one together – a couples journal. There is no reason to give up on your own dreams just because you’ve got someone special in your life.

In fact, I encourage you to pursue your individual items separately. You can each schedule a week or two away at the same time, pursue one of your bucket list items and then return home to share your experiences!

This is a great way to keep the mystery and challenge in your relationship alive!

For the items you want to do together, prioritize and work together to accomplish those goals. It’s a great relationship-building activity!

Create that Bucket List and Do it!

We humans have become robots. We wake up, go to work, come home and watch reality shows. Then we die.

Tomorrow, I challenge you to kill the routine and brainstorm 100 bucket list items. Then, by the weekend, set goals and do them!

Ultimately, you will be amazed at what a bucket list will do for you!

Dating a Recently Divorced Man? 4 Things you Should Know

Dating a Recently Divorced Man? 4 Things you Should Know

Dating a Recently Divorced Man Comes with Complications

You finally met a great guy after months of meeting frogs. This man showed up on time, smelled oh so good and holds a decent job. Congratulations! There is one small problem you didn’t know until now – you’re dating a recently divorced man.

You think, “No big deal, he’s over her, he even says so.” But a few dates pile up, and you realize that he mentions her name more often he should if he is over her.

You wonder whether he truly is over her, but you keep dating anyway.

The fact is that recently separated or divorced men can’t recover from their ex so quickly. Even if he hates her, he isn’t in the right frame of mind to see you. So how do you know if he’s ready to date?

Here are four things you need to know about dating a recently divorced man.

He isn’t Looking at You Through the Proper Lens

He doesn’t see you. Instead, he sees his ex and how you’re the same or different from her. He’s still too close to his ex and instead of looking at you for who you are, he’s comparing you to her. That’s not fair to you.

You want him to see you so he can make a fair assessment of your compatibility, just as you’re doing with him. If you’re dating a recently divorced man, you can bet he’s comparing your every move to his ex.

He compares how you measure up to her in bed, eat, and dress and this isn’t fair to you. His head should be clear, so he looks at you without her involved.
Occasionally something will trigger a reaction that relates back to his ex, but hopefully, these instances are few and far between.

When You’re Dating a Recently Divorced Man, You’re Probably His Ex’s Opposite

A recently divorced man most often chooses someone who is the opposite of the last woman he was with. Not because he should, but because he thinks that will fix the issues he experienced in the relationship.

My friend just divorced after twelve years. His wife was a homebody so once he was single, he dated a much wilder woman. He thought she was the answer but she wasn’t. The pendulum swang too far.

Oh the Mysterious Ways of Men!

There's no way for a woman to know intuitively what to expect from a man. That's why I'm here! There are many differences between men and women and this article shows you a few. But there are others. Click the button below to read those articles too!

dating a recently divorced man

He’s More Likely to Flake on You

I see this repeatedly. You’re dating a recently divorced man and he starts blowing hot and cold. His emotions are all over the place and boom – he’s gone. The woman blames herself for this roller coaster of emotions.

But the problem lies within him. He either misses his ex or despises her and takes it out on the new girl. He might have good days, but the bad days come along a little too often.

You don’t need this. Building a healthy, mature relationship is tough enough without the memories of his ex hanging in the wings.

When You’re Dating a Recently Divorced Man, His Mouth Gets Ahead of His Intentions

Another problem of dating a recently divorced man is that he wants to prove to himself that he isn’t a failure, and that he can love.  So, he quickly jumps into the relationship, making promises too soon that he most likely won’t keep.

  • I want you to meet my kids
  • Let’s take off to Vegas
  • I haven’t met a woman like you before
  • Can I see you tomorrow night too?

You get my point. His mouth moves and he might come through with an action or two, but overall, he is an empty suit who isn’t ready for a relationship.

So, What’s a Girl to do When She Finds Herself Dating a Recently Divorced Man?

Slow Your Roll!

Find out his true situation by asking, in your womanly way of course. Test him:

  • Does he talk about her too much?
  • Does he blow hot and cold?
  • Is his mouth getting ahead of his intentions?

Keep Dating Other Men

The last thing you should do is put all your chips down on this guy. Nope.

Load your life with other men. If this guy flakes, it’s no big deal. I know your gut tells you that if you date other men, he’ll bolt. That’s okay. If he does, he wasn’t really in it to date you long-term anyway.

A great guy will be challenged by the competition of other men in your life and will step up his game and try harder.

Avoid Dating a Recently Divorced Man

This might be the best idea yet. You don’t need this extra layer of crap added to the mix. Tell him to hit you up in six months or so when he is in a better spot.
He’ll fight you on it and say, blah, blah, but don’t buy what he is selling!

Let Him Go if He Asks

I have a friend who was divorced several years ago. A couple years ago, she began dating a man who was still in the process of getting his divorce, which was taking a while.

They got along great, but one day, he came to her and told her he wanted to break things off. It was a friendly split and, as it turned out, they remained in contact.

What happened?

It was time to finalize his divorce and he needed to focus on that.

Several months later, she was scheduled to have surgery. He offered to take her to the surgery and bring her back to his house for the first few days of her recovery.
They’re back together. Why? Because he went, settled stuff with his ex, got over the marriage and was ready to date. He had done much of his getting over the ex before the divorce occurred so once it was over, he was ready to go!

Dating a Recently Divorced Man

Finding a man is hard in today’s dating jungle. You don’t need the added pressure of a man’s ex who’s still in the picture. Stand tall and ask him about his past. Most men will be happy to discuss the breakup especially if it is recent. If his emotions are still tender, run!

It's Time to Understand Men!

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

Am I Dealing with a Stage 5 Clinger?

Am I Dealing with a Stage 5 Clinger?

You’ve probably crossed paths with or even dated a stage 5 clinger without knowing it.

Remember that guy you hooked up with a month ago who keeps showing up wherever you are? How about that dude you went on one date with who keeps texting?

Often, men talk about women being clingy, but men can be just as clingy and sometimes it can get downright creepy.

A clinger is a man who needs constant reinforcement that he’s needed, liked, or loved. The Urban Dictionary defines a stage 5 clinger as:

A member of the opposite sex who is likely to become overly attached, and overly fast. Virgins, those on the rebound, and the emotionally fragile are more likely to have this term applied to them. Originally from the movie Wedding Crashers.

Signs He’s a Stage 5 Clinger | The Texting Ratio is Out of Balance

He texts you five times to your one or he initiates the conversation and then ends it by asking why you aren’t responding. Men are lousy communicators, remember?

So, the fact that this one can’t stop texting might appear to be a good thing. Maybe you finally found yourself a communicator.

No. He needs to feel wanted and probably wasn’t loved in his past, so texting him back will only make the problem worse.

stage 5 clinger

He Only Wants You to Hang with Him

A Stage 5 Clinger will make you feel guilty if you’re hanging out with your friends instead of him. You need those relationships, regardless of your relationship status, but he’s selfish and he wants you all to himself.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve known him for a week or a year, he shouldn’t be pushing you away from your friends, but he’ll try anyway.

His mantra is, “I’m all you need baby”. He’s the last thing you need! He’s manipulating you and trying to gaslight you as well.

Is He a Stage 5 Clinger? | He is if He Defines You as His Girlfriend When You’re Not

No matter how many times you tell this guy you aren’t his girlfriend, it falls on deaf ears. He wants you to call him your boyfriend from the first date, but this is inappropriate and definitely Stage 5 Clinger behavior.

As time progresses, he’ll insist, regardless of how many times you dispute it, that you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. He can’t see or respect any boundaries you set because they certainly don’t apply to him.

Did He Just Look at My Phone?

If he takes peeks at your phone or demands to see what you’re doing on your phone, you have a Stage 5 Clinger on your hands!

Jealousy and anger toward your male contacts are an issue if he’s a clinger, and it will only get worse from here.

This is a huge invasion of your privacy. Whether you let a guy you’re committed to seeing your phone is your choice, but if someone does it without permission, it’s just wrong.

He’ll gaslight you into believing he should see what’s on your phone, maybe for your safety or something bogus like that.

He’s a Stage 5 Clinger if He’s Always There

No matter where you go, he pops up. It’s almost like…no, it’s exactly like he’s following you, and he probably is. He has no other life besides you.

Whether you told him where you would be or he followed you, unless he was invited, he’s unwelcomed and, let’s be honest, a little creepy.

You might see him in your neighborhood more often. No, he isn’t checking on a friend or just happening by, he’s creeping on you and it’s wrong.

He has no other life. He has no friends, no hobbies, and no ambition to be anything other than your boyfriend.

stage 5 clinger

He Annoys You on Social Media in ALL Kinds of Ways

Social media is a big deal to a Stage 5 Clinger. After one date, he’ll friend you on all your platforms, then any friends he has will, as well as his family members.

No. Just no. One date and you’re all best buds? Forget that.

If you post something on social media, he’s all over it with tons of heart emojis or whatever seems most (in)appropriate.

If you’ve dated him for any amount of time, he might try to approve your posts before you put them up. He doesn’t want you to say something that might make him look bad. It is, after all, all about him.

A Stage 5 Clinger Can’t Trust

You’ve done nothing to warrant his lack of trust, but there it is. The problem isn’t you, even though he’ll tell you it is.

The problem is his overwhelming insecurity. This guy has no confidence in his ability to keep a woman interested in him. History tells him that people leave, whether it’s past girlfriends or a close family member, he’s been burned.

So it isn’t that he doesn’t trust you, even though that’s how he’ll play it, the issue is that he can’t trust anyone.

Many of the behaviors you’re finding here stem from this lack of trust and fear of being abandoned. Honestly, it’s very sad, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.

How to Deal with the Stage 5 Clinger

You need to get rid of this guy, but that’s easier said than done. A Stage 5 Clinger is named so for a reason. In some instances, you could also label this type of person as a stalker. He’s envisioned that the two of you are in a relationship already, whether you’ve been on zero dates or five.

This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything to gain his attention. Even if you dated him a few times, that doesn’t warrant his clingy behavior. It isn’t normal to show up where you are, every single time, nor is it normal to label him as your boyfriend after one date.

So what can you do if you’ve snagged a Stage 5 Clinger?

You Can Try Talking to Him

There’s a reason behind this behavior and you might be able to get it out of him if he even knows.

Explain to him that his behavior is a little over the top, but nicely. Don’t make accusations or call him names, like Stage 5 Clinger or stalker. That will put him on the defensive and you want him to be calm and listen to your words.

Establish and Maintain Boundaries

If talking about it doesn’t make him change, have a discussion with him about boundaries. It isn’t okay for him to follow you around. Nor is it okay for him to sit in your neighborhood and watch you.

It’s also too much to expect to be exclusive or to call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend for several weeks, if not a few months. Sex is off the table until he proves himself worthy of you, and at this point, he has a long way to go to do that.

Everyone should have boundaries. The challenge you have with a Stage 5 Clinger is that he doesn’t really care and he’s busted your boundaries so far without consequence.

Let him know that if he can’t respect your boundaries, he has no place in your life.

Tell Him You Don’t want ANY Relationship Right Now

It’s hard to form a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be in one. Just be careful not to add the words with you to that sentence, even if that’s what you mean. There’s no reason to be rude or condescending.

Simply tell him that’s not where you are in your life at this time and suggest he look for someone interested in a relationship.

Be Busy…I Mean REALLY Busy

Tell him that you have a lot going on in your life right now and there’s just no time for a relationship. You’re taking care of a sick parent, working toward a promotion, or something. The problem with this, however, is that he’s likely to want to wait it out.

As soon as he thinks you’re not so busy, he’ll be back. And no, he probably hasn’t found someone else because he’s still fixated on you.

Try to Phase Yourself Out of His Life

He’s texting, calling, and emailing dozens of times a day, but hopefully, you’re not answering them all. Start slowly decreasing the number of times you reply. If you’re currently replying to maybe one in three or four of his messages, stretch that out to one in five or six. As the days pass, respond less frequently until you aren’t replying at all.

If he requests a date, tell him you’re busy, but don’t offer a time to reschedule. Try to avoid responding to him on social media, or, like the texts, respond less frequently.

Your hope here is that he’ll find someone new to bother as you phase yourself out.

Try Turning Him Off

With his insecurity, he needs to have an attractive girlfriend by his side. This increases his self-worth, however falsely.

If you want to ditch him, let him see you at your worst. No makeup, hair a fright, shabby clothes. Whatever it takes.

Part of your appeal to him is what he envisions you bring to his life. Cut access to whatever that is, off. It’s probably your looks, so start there. If you think it’s money, stop buying him coffee or lunch. If it’s status, borrow a friend’s beater car and drive him around in that for an evening.

Oh the Mysterious Ways of Men!

There's no way for a woman to know intuitively what to expect from a man. That's why I'm here! There are many differences between men and women and this article shows you a few. But there are others. Click the button below to read those articles too!

How to Get Rid of a Stage 5 Clinger: Become His Opposite

If he’s a Republican, you’re a left-wing Democrat. If he’s an Atheist, you’re a Christian or at least a believer. If he loves football or baseball, you hate it.

We like to be around people we feel a kinship with, so by becoming his opposite, you’re less attractive to him.

Use Body Language

You can also take this to body movements. Make sure you don’t mirror his body language. Mirroring someone’s body language is a sign of attraction, however subtle, so be sure you don’t do it. If his leg goes up on his knee, your feet are flat on the floor. If he puts his elbow on the table, remove yours at once.

To further the body language, make sure not to square your shoulders toward him. We square our shoulders or point our bodies to the most important person to us in the room. Be sure you aren’t squared off with him.

Avoid eye contact and physical touch as well. Gentle touches are a sign of attraction, so avoid that at all costs.

How to Deal with a Stage 5 Clinger | Try to Friend Zone Him

If you think he’s a nice guy and you want to be friends, you can try this, but he wants more, so there’s no guarantee that he’ll respect that boundary.

If you try this, make sure he understands that no romantic attachment is going to happen between you. Ever. Don’t let him hold out hope for something more.

The Stage 5 Clinger

There’s a part of me who feels sad for the Stage 5 Clinger. He needs a lot of attention, but from professionals, not women.

He’s got a lot of issues with fear of abandonment and attachment. He may have learned these behaviors as a child, but that doesn’t make it right.

If you’re able to friend-zone him and you can have a discussion with him about why he acts the way he does, you might have enough influence to encourage him to seek help.

This guy has the potential to be trouble, but not all Stage 5 Clingers are so hard to get rid of. There’s probably a nice guy in there somewhere, but he’s having trouble getting out due to the fear and insecurity surrounding him.

None of this is your problem to solve. Focus on yourself instead. This guy was attracted to you because your confidence was a bit low, so work on that before you head back out into the dating world.

Those clingers will look right past you and onto someone else.

Don’t you think you’ve dated enough losers? Isn’t it time to find a great guy to date? Maybe you think you already have!

This book will help you know for sure! You’ll go in-depth on the good and bad qualities to look for in a man so you an know for sure.

End the guessing game and Weed out the Users!

Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Women often face relationship challenges that are both common and unique. One of these challenges is communication. Many women struggle with expressing needs, desires, and concerns effectively to their partners, which leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of emotional connection. 

Another common relationship challenge is maintaining a healthy balance between your own needs and the needs of your partner. Women often find themselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, such as being a partner, a mother, a professional, and a caregiver, resulting in neglecting your own self-care and personal fulfillment. Prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries helps you avoid burnout and maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

Trust issues can also be a significant challenge in relationships. Past experiences of betrayal or heartbreak make it difficult to fully trust your partner, which then leads to insecurity, jealousy, and a constant need for reassurance. Building trust takes time and effort from both partners, and it is important to work on healing past wounds and developing trust in order to have a fulfilling and secure relationship.

Another challenge is navigating power dynamics within relationships. Society often places certain expectations on women, such as being submissive or accommodating which can lead to imbalanced power dynamics where women may feel their needs and desires are not valued or respected. It is important to assert your boundaries, communicate your needs, and strive for equality within your relationships.

Lastly, a common challenge is maintaining your own identity and independence. Women may sometimes feel pressured to prioritize your partner’s needs and sacrifice your own dreams and aspirations. It is important to remember that you are an individual with your own goals and passions. Balancing personal growth and maintaining a sense of self within a relationship is essential for long-term happiness and fulfillment.

free relationship advice

Free Relationship Advice: Unleash the Power of Communication in Your Relationships

There’s no tool more powerful in a relationship than effective communication. Yes, you just read a bit on this, but let’s take a moment to really understand why communication holds such significance.

Imagine this: Your partner comes home late from work, and you’re feeling neglected. Instead of expressing your feelings, you keep quiet, fueling an atmosphere of tension. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably time to reassess your communication strategy.

How do you unleash the power of communication in your relationship?

  1. Express – Don’t bottle up your feelings. Communicate openly with your partner about what’s bothering you. The key here is to use “I” statements instead of the blaming “you”. For instance: “I feel ignored when you come late regularly” instead of “You never care about my feelings”.
  2. Listen – A big part of communication is not just talking, but truly listening. Pay attention to what your partner is saying. React and respond to his thoughts and feelings to indicate that you value his emotions and opinions.
  3. Clarify – If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification. Never assume or interpret your partner’s feelings on your own. Misinterpretations can often lead to unnecessary conflicts.
  4. Be Constructive – It’s essential to communicate constructively. Emphasize on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Frame your criticisms or suggestions in a helpful way.

These may sound too simple, but in the heat of the moment, even the simplest principles are forgotten. Practice these until they become a part of your regular communication habit. Effective communication is a skill that can be improved with patience and persistence.

Like any skill, it’s going to take time to improve your communication, so, don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get everything right immediately.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together… is communication.” – Bernard Kelvin Clive

Mastering the Art of Active Listening in Your Relationship

One of the most important and often overlooked skills for any relationship is active listening. Most think they’re good listeners, but are you really hearing what your partner is saying? Do you understand his feelings, thoughts, fears, and dreams as he expresses them? Active listening goes beyond merely hearing the words. It involves showing empathy and understanding, acknowledging his perspective, and reacting appropriately.

Active listening is a skill that can transform your relationship. It’s all about giving undivided attention to your partner, showing understanding, and demonstrating sincere interest and concern. It’s not merely about the words he’s saying, but also the non-verbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

How can you be an active listener?

  1. Listen with empathy: Tune into your partner’s feelings and confirm your understanding.
  2. Use affirming body language: Sit facing your partner, maintain eye contact, and use nonverbal cues such as nodding to show you’re engaged.
  3. Avoid interrupting: Allow your partner to fully express his thoughts and feelings before you respond.
  4. Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to share more about his experience by asking questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.
  5. Paraphrase and reflect: Restate what he said in your own words to confirm that you understood him.
  6. Validate feelings: Even if you disagree with your partner, recognize his feelings as valid and important.

Remember: The goal of active listening isn’t to prepare your responses while your partner is talking, but to truly understand and empathize with their perspective.

Active listening creates a deep connection with your partner. It strengthens your bond, improves trust, and fosters a caring and understanding relationship. It might take a little practice to break old habits and improve your active listening skills, but the payoff in your relationship is well worth the effort!

Free Relationship Advice: Develop the Art of Effective Conflict Resolution

No matter who you are or how perfect your relationship seems, disagreements are inevitable. However, it’s how you handle these conflicts that truly matters.

Ever had an argument spiral out of control until you can’t remember what you’re fighting about? By embracing effective methods of conflict resolution, you can transform these situations into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

1. Listen First, Respond Later: Understanding the other person’s perspective before dropping your thoughts, and listening to his point of view helps him know his opinions are valued and builds a strong foundation for a fair resolution.

Remember: Listening doesn’t mean you agree, but shows respect for one other’s feelings and perspectives.

2. Use ‘I’ Statements Instead of ‘You’ Statements: When expressing your feelings, start sentences with “I” instead of “You”, thus taking the blame off your partner and minimizing defensive reactions.

For instance, replace “You never help with the chores” with “I feel overwhelmed when I manage the chores alone”.

3. Practice Active-Responsiveness: Acknowledging what your partner says is also important. Simple actions like nodding, using assurances like “I understand” and clarifying when necessary helps him feel understood and appreciated.

4. Keep It to the Point: During disagreements, it’s easy to sink to a blame game or bring up past issues. Focus on and discuss only the issue at hand until a resolution is found.

5. Seek to Find a Win-Win Resolution: Aim for resolutions that satisfy both partners, even if this means compromising a little. Resolutions should feel fair and mutually beneficial.

Understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution techniques can transform your relationship dynamics for the better. You’ll notice improved communication, mutual respect and, ultimately, a healthier relationship.

Remember: Conflict is inevitable but fighting isn’t. How you handle the disagreement is what matters.

free relationship advice

Finding Balance: Juggling Career and Relationships

We live in a world where there’s always something to do, something more to achieve. Finding the perfect balance between career and relationships might feel like a Herculean task. Trust me, it’s not about dividing your hours in a mathematical sequence but more about finding equilibrium and mutual understanding. How can you navigate this complex journey?

First,  you don’t have to do everything at once; put energy into what matters most. List tasks and goals and order them according by importance, focusing on the crucial ones. A well-prioritized life equals a balanced life.

  • Communicate: Open and honest communication solves many problems. Speak with your partner about your aspirations and pressures. Help him understand your ambitions and ask him to work with you in balancing professional and personal commitments.
  • Set boundaries: Clear boundaries separate your work life from your personal life. Leave work at work. Use your off-work time to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones.
  • Self-Care: Don’t forget about taking care of your own needs. Practice mental, physical, and emotional self-care. Exercising, maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness can do wonders for your well-being and positively impact your relationships and career.

Here’s an example:

Start the day with a mindful coffee intake, updating your partner about your day and setting clear workspace delineation if you’re working from home. Take a mid-afternoon workout break and cap the day off by leaving your laptop at work and taking a walk with your loved one.

Balancing a career and relationship can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Never be too hard on yourself as everyone’s balance is different. Try to live in the present moment, appreciate small victories, and enjoy the process. Now, go ahead and juggle away!

Free Relationship Advice: Create Healthy Boundaries for a Happier Relationship

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in a relationship is critical for mutual respect and emotional stability. When boundaries are defined, you and your partner understand each other’s needs, desires, and limitations. It prevents unnecessary stress, arguments, and resentment in the long run. Here’s how:

  1. Explicit Communication: Openly discuss what is comfortable and tolerable for both of you. Don’t leave it to assumptions or vague expressions.
  2. Say a Firm ‘Yes’ or ‘No’: Be able to express yes or no without hesitation or guilt. No one has the right to question or overrule your decisions. Recognizing your own feelings is vital to setting boundaries.
  3. Understanding Emotional Boundaries: Respect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It’s crucial to understand that one’s emotional space shouldn’t be violated.

Remember, boundaries are adjustable. You’re both individuals with evolving needs and wishes. Keep the conversation open and respectful. Here are some examples of healthy emotional boundaries:

Boundaries Explanation
Respecting Personal Space Recognize and respect each other’s need for solitude or time away.
Time Management Avoid the tendency to be overly dominating or submissive with each other’s time.
Limitations on Personal history disclosure Respect each other’s decision to share or withhold personal history or experiences.

Remember, ‘Your rights end where my nose begins’. This saying underlines the importance of respecting each other’s boundaries for a harmonious relationship.

“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” – Christine Morgan

By creating these boundaries, you’re showing your partner the respect he deserves and setting an expectation for how you wish to be treated. It promotes an atmosphere of mutual respect, understanding, and love, creating a healthier and happier relationship.

Understanding the Importance of Self-Love in a Relationship

Self-love is valuing your own happiness and well-being, understanding your worth and not compromising it for anything or anyone. Why is it important in a relationship?

Loving yourself sets a standard for how you allow others to treat you. You set boundaries, you assert your needs, and you don’t settle for less. Self-love isn’t about being self-centered. It’s about maintaining your individuality even in a relationship while continuing to flourish and grow as an individual, and that individual growth contributes to the growth of your relationship.

A common misconception is that self-love might lead to a ‘me-first’ attitude and create conflicts in a relationship. But here’s the fascinating part: when you love yourself, you’re better able to love others. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re emotionally empty or not fulfilled from within, it’s difficult to contribute positively to the relationship.

“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” – Jane Travis

So, how do you cultivate self-love?

  1. Understand your worth: Know you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness. You don’t have to settle for anything less.
  2. Accept your flaws: None of us is perfect. Embrace your imperfections. They make you unique.
  3. Care for your physical health: Exercising, eating healthy, and maintaining good hygiene aren’t just about looking good. They showcase a respect for your own body.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. Learn from them instead of beating yourself up.
  5. Nurture your inner growth: Invest in activities that help you grow – learn a new skill, walk in nature, meditate, or join a hobby class.

Remember, it’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority—it’s necessary. In the end, a healthy relationship is composed of two healthy individuals.

The Role of Trust and Honesty in a Successful Partnership

Trust and honesty form the backbone of any successful relationship. Without them, your partnership can feel insecure, unstable, and strained. But cultivating these essential elements isn’t always as straightforward as it might seem.

Transparency breeds trust. When each partner is open, honest and genuine with their feelings and intentions, it forms a secure foundation. You aren’t left guessing whether your partner’s actions match their words – because their openness makes it apparent.

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” – Wm. Paul Young

Practicing honesty also calls for courage. It means dealing squarely with tough topics instead of sidestepping them. It’s about voicing concerns, confessing mistakes, and discussing sensitive topics – no small feat, but well worth the effort.

Building Trust and Honesty in Your Relationship

So, how do we create an environment of trust and honesty? Glad you asked! Here are some key steps:

  1. Communicate openly and often: Share your feelings, fears, ambitions, and uncertainties. This isn’t a one-off conversation, but a continuous process that requires patience and practice.
  2. Show vulnerability: Let your guard down and allow your partner to see the ‘real’ you. This can be remarkably bonding, fostering both empathy and intimacy.
  3. Set clear expectations: Outline your relationship goals and values early on. Make sure you both understand, agree, and are willing to work towards the same objectives.
  4. Follow through: Consistent actions that reflect your words endorse your integrity and authenticity, improving his confidence in you.

Rebuilding Trust and Honesty

But what if trust has been eroded? Is it possible to rebuild it? Yes! Broken trust doesn’t mean a broken relationship, but it certainly means investing time and energy in repair.

  • Talk it out: Whenever trust is broken, direct conversation is crucial. Understand what went wrong and how it made each partner feel.
  • Apologize genuinely: An apology is the first step towards mending mistrust. Ensure it’s sincere and reflects your understanding of the mistake.
  • Take responsibility: Admitting your mistake and committing to avoid repeating it, displays your willingness to change for the betterment of the relationship.
  • Give it time: Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort. It demands constant reassurances and concrete actions that reflect change.

Trust and honesty are not just essential, they’re fundamental to a healthy, loving relationship. Cultivating and maintaining them, essentially, guarantees a strong, fulfilling partnership.

free relationship advice

Exploring the Power Dynamics in Relationships: Equality vs. Traditional Roles

Power dynamics play a pivotal role in relationships. Often, one partner takes the lead in certain aspects, while the other takes a backseat. It’s perfectly normal, and when balanced, leads to a harmonious relationship.

The trick is finding balance, and that’s where the idea of traditional roles and equality comes in. In the traditional setup, one partner is the decision maker, while the other is more subservient. However, the world is rapidly changing and many relationships now follow a paradigm of equality, where both partners share power and make decisions together.

The dynamic you choose depends on your personal preferences, upbringing, and beliefs. Regardless of the power dynamic you prefer, the key is to maintain respect. Each partner’s views, feelings, and needs have to be considered equally.

For those who lean toward an equal power dynamic, here are some tips:

  • Keep open lines of communication in place to express your expectations and needs.
  • Ensure both partners equally contribute in making decisions to prevent one person from feeling overpowered or dismissed.
  • Respect your partner’s viewpoint even if it’s not in line with yours.
  • Share responsibilities. Whether it’s finances, household chores, or parenting, make it a team effort.

On the other hand, if you relate to traditional roles, it doesn’t mean there’s a power imbalance. To ensure the ‘leading’ partner doesn’t breach the respect threshold, try these ideas:

  1. Ensure the leadership role doesn’t translate into authoritative behavior.
  2. Consider both people’s opinions when making decisions.
  3. Value the supportive parther’s role without undermining it.
  4. Encourage and appreciate one another’s contributions.

Remember, a relationship is a partnership where you support each other, learn and grow together. Whether you prefer traditional roles or equality, the respect and understanding between the two of you should be the building blocks of your relationship.

Free Relationship Advice: Adapt to Transitions in Your Relationship

Change is the one constant in life that we can always expect. But what about when change infiltrates your relationship? Transitions are inevitable, from changes in jobs, moving to a new city, or even shifts in personal growth. Navigating these altering waves not only tests the integrity of your relationship but provides a unique opportunity to deepen your bond and impress new strengths into your partnership.

But here’s the catch – change can be hard. It can challenge long-established dynamics and routines. It forces us into unfamiliar territories and sometimes, that can be downright uncomfortable. So, how do you ride this wave together rather than allowing it to drive a wedge between you?

Hint: It’s all about acceptance, adaptation, and mutual support.

First, embracing change starts with acceptance. In the face of a transition, it’s easy to resist or deny it. But truthfully, this only makes the process harder. Acceptance isn’t about surrendering or giving up, rather it’s about acknowledging the reality, understanding that it’s okay to feel unsure, and embarking on this journey with an open mind.

Adapting with Change

Then comes adaptation. Life doesn’t come with a manual, so there’s no perfect recipe for navigating change. However, flexibility in attitude, mindset, and actions can make the process more manageable. It involves stepping out of your comfort zone, trying out new routines, and making adjustments as necessary. Remember, adaptation is a journey not a destination. Don’t rush the process, give each other ample space and time to adjust.

  • Mutual support is your lifeline: It’s these times when you truly need each other. Your relationship can be your support network, your safe haven from the storm of change. Encourage each other, have patience, and check in frequently with each other’s emotions and thoughts.
  • Proactive communication is key: Dialogue can significantly ease the adaptation process. Ensure to keep lines of communication open. Express your concerns, hopes and expectations regarding the change.
  • Consider seeking professional help: If change seems overwhelming, there’s no harm in seeking external guidance from a relationship counselor or coach. They can provide strategies to cope with change and reinforce your relationship’s resilience.

A relationship that can embrace change and come out even stronger is a testament to the bond you share. Transitions, after all, are another chapter in your shared story, a chance to grow together and deepen your understanding of each other. So, navigate these changing tides together, and remember – the only way to get through change is to go through it, hand in hand.

The Role of Independence in a Healthy Relationship

Independence, with a focus on personal space and freedom, plays a dynamic role in any healthy relationship.

Understanding Independence in a Relationship

What does it mean to be independent in a relationship? Fundamentally, it refers to the idea that you and your partner are not dependent or overly reliant on each other to feel complete or fulfilled. Instead, you see yourselves as two individuals with your own distinct identities, interests, ambitions, and abilities, while at the same time, maintaining a commitment to share your lives together.

Maintaining independence doesn’t diminish the love in the relationship; instead, it enriches it by fostering mutual respect and appreciation. Each person can stand alone but chooses to stand together – that’s the beauty of independence in a strong bond.

Remember, the strength of a relationship doesn’t come from the ‘need’ of each other; it comes from the ‘want’ for each other.

Why Does Independence Matter in a Relationship?

Independence in a relationship matters for several reasons:

  1. It facilitates personal growth: Independence allows both parties in a relationship to continue developing their identity and enrich their individual lives.
  2. It encourages healthy dependency: Independence fosters a balanced level of dependency where both are supportive without being excessively reliant on each other.
  3. It reduces pressure and strain: By being independent, couples can effectively manage their expectations, significantly reducing unnecessary pressure, conflict, and disappointment.
  4. It cultivates respect and understanding: Recognizing and respecting each other’s independence fosters deeper understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities each person brings into the relationship.
  5. It promotes longevity: Relationships often thrive when both partners maintain a sense of self, leading to a more rewarding, genuine, and long-lasting partnership.

How to Foster Independence in Your Relationship

Here’s how to foster independence in your relationship:

  • Have personal goals and pursue them: Don’t lose sight of your personal aspirations just because you are in a relationship.
  • Enjoy personal time: Spend some time doing things you love alone or with other friends. This helps maintain your identity outside of your relationship.
  • Encourage and support your partner’s interests: It’s important to show interest and encourage your partner to pursue their passions and hobbies.
  • Practice effective communication: Talk about your need for independence in a gentle and understanding way with your partner.

The role of independence in a healthy relationship is quintessential. It doesn’t signify a lack of love, but rather affirms it. It’s about co-existence, not co-dependence. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch your relationship thrive.

Free Relationship Advice for Women: Wrapping Up

This journey through world of relationships has led to many revelations from learning to communicate effectively, mastering active listening, navigating conflicts maturely, to understanding the importance of self-love, trust, and honesty. We dug into what makes a relationship successful.

As part of my free relationship advice, let’s pause and remember the key takeaways presented here:

  • Keep communication open and honest: Be open-minded, and truthfully express your feelings and concerns to your partner.
  • Active Listening is key: Consider and give real attention to his words, demonstrating interest and empathy.
  • Facing Conflicts with Maturity: Realize that disagreements are natural and the approach of resolving them amicably strengthens the bond.
  • Balance work and love life: Juggling career and relationships is not easy, yet essential. Prioritize your time and effort in order to maintain a balance.
  • Set healthy boundaries: Develop boundaries in your relationship that protect and honor your individuality.
  • Embrace self-love: Understand the value of loving yourself first. It will empower you, bringing positive vibes into the relationship.
  • Trust and Honesty: These are fundamental to the backbone of a successful partnership. Foster transparency and cultivate trust in your relationship.
  • Equality matters: Advocate for equality in your relationship to ensure mutual respect, shared responsibilities, and power dynamics and build a healthier and happier partnership.
  • Embrace change and adapt: Changes are inevitable, and adapting to them will prepare your relationship for long term stability.
  • Honor Independence: Encourage individual interests and activities. A healthy dose of independence enhances mutual growth and respect.

A strong and meaningful relationship involves two individuals who understand, respect, and love each other’s uniquenesses. Be ready to put hard work, dedication, and a lot of love into your relationships. Through this, you will pave the path for a robust romantic relationship and build strong bonds in every facet of your life.

Do you still need free relationship advice? Click the image below.

free relationship advice
Why Do Men Stare at Women and What are They Thinking?

Why Do Men Stare at Women and What are They Thinking?

Why Do Men Stare at Women?

A cute guy keeps staring at you while you’re on the train. Why do men stare at women? What is he thinking?

Either he wants to steal your money, phone and jewelry, or he likes you.

Let’s go with option #two because it’s more fun!

I wish I could say that when you catch a guy staring at you, he is analyzing the odds of compatibility by using an algorithm more complex than Googles.

But he’s not. Why do men stare at women?

They’re thinking short, unimpressive thoughts:

  • I really would like to f*** her
  • I wonder if she wants to f*** me? (I’m not always proud of my gender)
  • Those shoes can’t be comfortable
  • I really like her
  • Where am I headed in life?
  • Did I leave the coffee machine on? I need to get a machine that automatically shuts off so I don’t have to ask myself this every day
  • I should say something but it’s too late; she knows I’m staring at her and she’s getting creeped out
  • Wish I had my favorite shirt on; if I did I bet she’d check me out
why do men stare at women

Why Do Men Stare at Women?

Truthfully, men stare at women because we love to. We can’t help ourselves. We like guessing what you’re like in person and where you’re from by watching your mannerisms. Men stare more often than women realize.

That’s why men look away when their eyes meet, and then go back to staring.

Men stare more at a woman who stands out. Maybe she is wearing a bright, yellow scarf or maybe she walks differently. It’s just fun to watch.

Men are always looking at female butts. I like legs, so long-legged women attract me. Many of my friends are attracted to cleavage. Married men, it seems, like to stare at everything!

Men are also attracted to hair, long or beautiful, shiny hair. Some like purple hair too. According to science, men are attracted to red lipstick.

Most stares are harmless even if you’re in a relationship. Let him stare a little. If it’s blatantly obvious, he might be a jerk, but if he sneaks a peek here and there, don’t sweat it.

In fact, do the same. This will keep him on his game. Men love the competition and fighting for you! Then, you can both laugh at the fact that it’s healthy and okay to stare at attractive people.

When You Catch a Guy Staring at You, What Should You Do?

If he seems cool, is attractive, and you’re in a public area, glance back. Play a little game with him. When he stares, you stare, then look away and give a little smile. Your smile is his clue to come over and say something.

But he probably won’t. Guys need to be clubbed over the head to notice when a woman is trying to flirt, so be more aggressive.

Walk by and brush up against him by ‘accident.’

Say something! It’s okay to be the aggressor – it shows confidence around men. “You gonna’ finish that fruity drink or do I need to help you?” Then laugh at your bravado! He’ll love it.

Just make sure the guy isn’t just staring at your body. This means he just wants to have sex with you. You can usually tell; it’s more of a creepy stare.

If he’s staring at your face and your body, he’s most likely into you. That’s what men  do when they’re interested. We move our eyes up and down the female body.

Shy guys will act nervous if you catch them staring. They wish they could get up the nerve, but they can’t. My friend John is like this. He’s a great guy, but you need to approach him after you catch him staring at you.

The Bottom Line on Why Men Stare at Women

Bottom line, men stare at women all the time. It’s natural and harmless for the most part. We aren’t thinking deep thoughts; we’re just checking you out and thinking, ‘what if’?

It’s up to you to start the flirting process if you are interested in him or just want to have some fun flirting!

It's Time to Understand Men!

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

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