Journaling Techniques That Work!

Journaling Techniques That Work!

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Whether it’s a personal or couples journal, starting a journal is like starting a new workout – you need great journaling techniques! Otherwise, it’s great at first but fizzles out fast and before you know it, the excitement and consistency wane into more of a meh kind of feeling.

Well, there are too many benefits to both journaling and exercise to give up so quickly, so today I have some journaling techniques to keep you on track.

Journaling Techniques: Don’t Make Your Journal Too Large

You’ll see why this is such a big deal in a minute. Your first journal doesn’t need to be a full-size notebook. The pages are larger to fill, and it takes up more space.

Instead, go for a smaller journal. Most discount and drug stores carry notebooks in a variety of sizes. Go for one that’s big enough to write in but not so big that it feels intimidating.

Keep Your Journal with You

Now you see why I suggested a small journal. A small journal is easy to stuff into your handbag, bookbag or even a back pocket. You can easily carry it with you wherever you go, and I strongly recommend doing so.

You never know when a moment will pass by that you would like to remember. Writing about it in your journal can help you recall the memory.

Don’t Create Too Many Rules for Yourself

If you’re one who likes to make rules, pay attention to these journaling tips:

  • I will write in it every morning as soon as I wake up
  • I will write two pages every day
  • I won’t write negative things
  • I will only write about personal stuff, not work

The problem with ‘rules’ like these is that once you break the rules you established, you’ll be less likely to continue.

It’s like eating a big piece of chocolate cake while you’re dieting. As soon as you’ve broken your no sugar rule, you figure the whole thing is a huge waste of time anyway and you give up.

Write in your journal when it fits each day. One day, it might be first thing while another day might be a lunchtime entry.

Setting a rule about how many pages to write can be a good thing, but it can also force you to give up if you feel you don’t have anything to say that day. Whatever length of journal entry you choose for that day is fine.

Journaling Techniques: Review Your Journal Entries

Of all the journaling techniques here, this is one of my favorites.

Go over your entries at the end of the week and look for repeating words or themes. For example, if you find yourself writing a lot about being tired, you can look back on the week and see what may have happened to make you feel so tired. Perhaps there’s something you can fix.

You may find yourself using negative self-talk in a journal. This is something to observe and fix as soon as possible. If you’re writing it down, it’s also banging around in your head. Turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk is key to mental health.

journaling techniques

Important Journaling Techniques Include Creating a Journaling Space

You can really write in your journal anywhere, but if possible, set aside a place where you can tune out the noises around you and focus on your thoughts. This is a great journaling technique for those who live in a busy household!

I had a friend who used her oversized closet for her journaling and meditation spot. She cleared out a corner and put a comfy chair inside. She was able to use the light already in the closet and made this space all about peaceful thoughtfulness.

If you prefer to be outdoors, find a spot where you can feel calm and peaceful. Wherever you decide to write is fine, as long as it’s a spot that is as isolated from distractions as possible.

Alternatively, you can journal at a time of day where you experience fewer distractions like first thing in the morning or after everyone else has gone to bed.

Redefine Journal to Fit Your Needs

This is an important journaling technique for people who struggle for topics! Your journal doesn’t need to be the same thing, day after day.

Use it as a brain dump space. Write lists of things you want to do. Write your goals or dreams. Today is my grandmother’s birthday, so when I wrote in my journal, I wrote about my fond memories of her.

There are truly no rules about journaling. Nobody needs to read what you write so write for you and you alone. Put down whatever is weighing on your mind at that moment.

Don’t Make It a Negativity Space

Of all the journaling techniques here, this one is probably the most important!

It’s fine to write about something bad that happens in a day, but your journal should not be a daily dose of what’s wrong with my life.

If you find yourself in this mode, shift gears and write some statements of gratitude. What can you be grateful for today?

Gratitude is very powerful for positive mental health. It helps you focus on the good things that are happening in your life. Even if you’re grateful for a box of tissues or a roll of toilet paper, be grateful!

There are days when your entries will be about something bad that happened and that’s fine, all I ask is that this journal doesn’t become a place to wallow in self-pity or complain continuously about everything that’s wrong in your life.

Find Writing Prompts

Pinterest is full of journal writing prompts for all types of occasions. It won’t take but a minute or two to find lists of 30 or more prompts you can use. I like to list them in my journal at the beginning of the month and then go through them, writing about a new one each day.

This not only helps me dig into topics I might otherwise avoid, but it also helps me avoid the plague of the blank page.

Make it a Judgment-Free Zone: Journaling Techniques for Building Confidence

Your journal should be something you are free to write, draw or be creative in. You can make an entire entry by drawing a picture or writing and then painting over it with gesso.

Whatever you do in your journal, though, don’t sit back and judge it after. No, “I never should have written that about Julie’s boyfriend. He’s not so bad.”

If it’s a thought you had and it was important enough to write it down, leave it and don’t sweat it. It’s not like your friend will read the entry.

journaling techniques

Key Journaling Techniques: Allow Your Thoughts to Go Where They Go

Sometimes, we try to avoid unpleasant thoughts, but if you start writing in a journal, your mind might just take off on a tangent. This mother of all journaling techniques is about letting your thoughts wander wherever they go without slamming on the brakes because it gets uncomfortable.

Something might be eating away at you and if you start writing, it just might pop out. It can be very freeing to write about things like that – things that are bothering you.

Sometimes, you don’t even know what is bothering you until you start writing and then, there it is, big as you please, staring back at you on the page.

That’s the point at which you just kind of say, “Well hmm. So that’s where that is coming from!”

For Those Who Don’t Like Mistakes: Use a Pen

It’s easy to erase things you wish you hadn’t written, but the truth is that if they came out while journaling, they needed to be said.

Therefore, use a pen or marker to write in your journal. Again, if you get on Pinterest, you will find tons of examples of journal pages done in a multitude of color.

This isn’t necessary, but if it helps you, go for it. Some people are more visual than others and they enjoy this type of thing.

Me? I’m a guy. Just give me a pen that writes and I’m all set.

How Can You Make a Habit with These Journaling Techniques?

You’ve got a few journaling tips under your belt so now let’s look at how you can make this a habit!

It can take up to two months or even a little longer to make something into a habit so how can you make a habit out of journaling?

Decorate the Cover

This is a great journaling technique for those who are creative – and even those who aren’t for that matter.

Make the journal fit you. Grab some decorative paper at the hobby store or some of that washi tape stuff (what the heck is washi tape anyway?) and decorate your journal. If it’s a plain cover, draw on it or glue pictures on it.

Whatever you do, make it something you like to look at. Make it feel more like it belongs to you.

One caution, however, would be to make sure your embellishments won’t get damaged when you carry your journal around.

Try to use these Journaling Techniques at The Same Time Every Day

I know in the journaling techniques above, I said no rules and I don’t want you to make this a rule. It’s more about fitting journaling into your routine. Is this something you could wake up fifteen minutes early for? Is it something you can do as soon as you get to work, before everyone else gets there?

Try to figure out where in your daily routine journaling fits so it’s not so hard to make it part of your day.

Schedule an Appointment with Your Journal

Once you know where it fits into your daily routine, set an appointment on your phone calendar so you get a daily reminder.

If nothing else, it will be annoying enough to at least give it some consideration. After it becomes part of your daily routine, you won’t need the appointment any longer and you can delete it.

Give It Priority in Your Life

All the journaling techniques in the world won’t make a whit of difference if journaling isn’t a priority in your life, so make it a priority.

Know why you want to do it and what value it has to you. If this isn’t something that is important to you, you won’t do it. Know the why for you.

Make It for You

Don’t do this for anyone else but you. If you are journaling because someone told you to or because someone urged you for some reason or another, you won’t make it a week before you toss it aside.

Make this something you do for you – a form of self-care. If there is nothing else you do in your day for yourself, do this for you.

A couple’s journal is an excellent way to bond with your significant other. Me. You. Together Forever is not just a couple’s journal but a planner too. Using this journal will help you keep your schedules synced, answer difficult questions and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about Me. You. Together Forever here or you can purchase it by clicking below.

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Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One!

Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One!

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 Can a Bucket List Journal Change Your Life?

Can a bucket list journal really change your life?

The movie The Bucket List introduced the idea of making a list of things you want to experience before you die or kick the bucket. In the movie, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson play hospital roomies, both terminal. Nicholson’s very wealthy character decides he needs a bucket list and, with time, the much poorer (financially) Freeman secretly creates his own list.

The two break out of hospital and begin their adventure of ticking items off their lists. But, the items on their bucket lists aren’t the items many people put on their own lists today. Here’s a sampling of the bucket lists from the movie:

  • Witness something truly majestic
  • Help a complete stranger
  • Laugh until I cry
  • Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
  • Drive a Shelby Mustang
  • Get a tattoo
  • Go skydiving
  • Visit Stonehenge
  • Find the joy in your life
  • Drive a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China

There were a few others, but this is most of the list. I show you this not to brag about some movie knowledge – heck I had to google this stuff. Instead, I show you this because several of the items on this list are truly remarkable experiences most of us won’t think to include.

Should You Create a Bucket List?

If you’re really asking me my opinion, then yes, I believe you should create a bucket list. However, having said that, I believe you should carefully consider what you put on your bucket list journal.

Creating a bucket list is another way of saying you are setting goals for yourself and this is never a bad thing. When you set goals as an individual, you build your confidence and also give your life purpose and direction.

When you set goals as a couple, you build lasting memories and intimacy. But, there are other reasons to use a bucket list journal:

  • You begin to examine what you really want out of life
  • It helps you determine where you are today and where you want to be in the future
  • You become energized by the possibilities that lie before you
  • It allows you to look past your comfort zone and think outside your safe zone
  • You develop a sense of accomplishment as you tick off the items you’ve completed
  • It keeps you from becoming idle – there’s always something to work toward
  • You’re more interesting

What Should be on Your Bucket List?

What you put on your bucket list is up to you, but I do have a few suggestions. Rather than seeing how many outrageous trips to foreign places you can come up with, envision adventures that will truly add value to your life.

This may be some trips to foreign countries or other states, but it might be things like you saw on the Bucket List movie list – things that are more meaningful and amazing.

Make it Meaningful

If you didn’t see the movie, Jack Nicholson’s character accomplished kissing the most beautiful woman in the world by kissing his long-lost daughter. It wasn’t some celebrity or model. Instead, it was a healed relationship.

When you set goals, they should be attainable. and the same goes for the items you place in your bucket list journal. Visiting the Louvre or riding a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China are fine if they’re attainable to you in the future.

Goals should be relevant to your life and this is true of your bucket list items as well. If you don’t really like airplanes that much, setting goals to fly all over the world seems like a waste of a dream.

Overcoming your fear of flying is a fine bucket list item, and maybe more relevant to your life, but that can be done at a local airport.

To create your list, imagine you have just weeks to live. Would you want to spend those weeks traveling? If so, go for it! If not, what would you like to do? Repair relationships? Make sure those closest to you know how much you care? Spend time with a loved one you don’t get to see very often?

Our Dream Catcher is your personal bucket list journal. Use it to spark ideas, plan your adventures and even record the results. The journal is large enough to provide plenty of space to record photographs and memories of your adventures. You’ll find dozens of prompts to help you come up with ideas for your list as well.

Buy your copy today by clicking one of the buttons below.

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Using a Bucket List Journal to Create Your Bucket List

There are as many ways to create a bucket list as there are people making them. My best tips for creating your own bucket list are:

  • Think about those people who are most important to you – how can you enrich those relationships?
  • Imagine your future. What do you dream of doing? Is it something you believe you will be able to do?
  • When you think about the legacy you would like to leave behind, what does that look like?
  • If you are in a relationship, how can the two of you build your foundation as a couple?
  • Find ten amazing things to do within an hour or two of your own home and consider doing them with either your partner or best friend or both
  • Are there relationships you’ve let slide over the years that you would like to rekindle? How can you do that?
  • Are there financial goals that will make your life easier, like zeroing your debt or building a savings?

Give yourself some time and recognize that a bucket list journal doesn’t form overnight. It will take time and introspection to come up with the list that’s right for you.

Bucket List Journal for Couples

If you’re in a relationship with someone, make your individual lists and make one together – a couples journal. There is no reason to give up on your own dreams just because you’ve got someone special in your life.

In fact, I encourage you to pursue your individual items separately. You can each schedule a week or two away at the same time, pursue one of your bucket list items and then return home to share your experiences!

This is a great way to keep the mystery and challenge in your relationship alive!

For the items you want to do together, prioritize and work together to accomplish those goals. It’s a great relationship-building activity!

Create that Bucket List and Do it!

We humans have become robots. We wake up, go to work, come home and watch reality shows. Then we die.

Tomorrow, I challenge you to kill the routine and brainstorm 100 bucket list items. Then, by the weekend, set goals and do them!

Ultimately, you will be amazed at what a bucket list will do for you!

Dating a Divorced Man? 10 Tips to Make it Work

Dating a Divorced Man? 10 Tips to Make it Work

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Yes, Dating a Divorced Man can Work – Here’s How!

You know the dangers of dating a divorced man from my last article, now let’s give you some tips on dating a divorced guy and making it last.

Some Men Need a Second Round to Get it Right

Some men just don’t get it right the first time around. Therefore, timing is everything for you. Many couples are married too young and believe they’ve met their soulmate when, in fact, they were too young and immature to know what they wanted.

Age and divorce are both great teachers and now, he does know what he wants! So, you need to be there and not with some other version of you, but you in all your glory.

Dating a Divorced Man: Let Him Talk About His Ex

Don’t feel challenged or threatened by his ex. Instead, listen to him. Learn and apply what he says during his rants so you can be a better match for him than his ex was. Of course, make sure your adaptations fit your values.

Stay Incognito

When you’re dating a divorced man, announcing your relationship to everyone might need to wait until his divorce is final. He could have lawyers watching his every move to gain an advantage in custody battles and financials.

Don’t push to meet his children right away. Legal agreements and just plain caution could be preventing him from wanting to introduce you to them. When he’s ready for you to meet them, be open to it, but don’t push him faster than he’s ready.

Appreciate his need for secrecy. It’s all okay if you are on a steady path of growing closer to one another.

Lose the Social Media

We all love to show off our spectacular lives! But consider keeping things private between you by staying off social media until he has completely divorced both legally and emotionally.

Social media can have some unintended consequences. Friends and family might exaggerate the status of your relationship when this is not true.

He might feel like you are pushing him into something that he is not ready for, even though it’s your peers on social media pushing the false narrative.
Post pics of you and your friends having fun instead. He will be watching!

Dating a Divorced Man: Don’t Push Marriage and Kids

He’s been down that road and he might be a bit jaded or apprehensive to try again. Dating a divorced man who feels this way might not be your best choice if you want to get married and have kids right away.

This makes him a better candidate for a domestic partner. Accepting this going into the relationship will help align your expectations and make things successful. I see many successful relationships without the paper contract.

Be clear on your desires to have children before things get too far. Sure, some men are different and will remarry and have more kids, but not all men, and not necessarily right away.

Be Prepared to Meet Her

When dating a divorced man, there’s a great chance you’ll meet his ex. Be ready for it so you’re not caught off guard when it happens.

Try to make this an upbeat and positive experience. The entire relationship will be much better for everyone if you and his ex can see one another without scowling. His complaints against her are between them. There’s no reason why the two of you can’t get along.

Remember, she might have been with your new man for years, so cut her some slack if things get awkward.

dating a divorced man

Dating a Divorced Man with Kids Complicates Things

Your kids might not accept him. His kids might not accept you. Talk about these things before the meet and greet. Formulate a plan for what to do if things crash and burn.

When kids first meet one another, depending on their ages, things could go smoothly or they could be contentious. Older kids who go to the same school may know of one another and have preconceived opinions. These things take time to work out.

Don’t push the kids to get along. Allow them to continue to be individuals and let them feel their way through building their own relationships. Work in areas in which they all might have common ground, common likes, and so on. Commonalities bring people together.

Both of you may place priorities with your kids so discuss this too.

His Apartment Might Have Some of Her Memories

That’s okay to an extent. You don’t need to be throwing her shit into the trash because you’re jealous. That will only build contempt

It’s normal for men to hold some things dear to them from their past. But, it doesn’t mean they’re still in love with their ex. I still have pics of hiking Zion National Park with my ex. I don’t want to be with her. I simply want to remember the experience in general.

When You’re Dating a Divorced Man, Be You, Not Her

You will learn what he loved about his ex and it could be difficult to handle. You may find that you want to emulate her to please him – don’t! As soon as you try to fill her shoes by acting like her, your relationship will be doomed.

A confident woman never tries to be someone who she isn’t. She never compares herself to anyone and she knows her value. She, not only stands by it, she flaunts it! He chose you because you are different, not because he sees her inside you.

Live in the Moment

Dating a divorced man, or dating anyone for that matter, means living in the moment. Forget reading the tea leaves of where the relationship is headed and live in the power of now! Do this and the memories will start piling up. He will slowly start accepting you more and into his life and will simultaneously start caring less for his ex.

I call these great memories Pennies in the Jar. The sooner you start making them the closer you will become.

Dating a Divorced Man

Most of us have had past relationships and that’s okay. In fact, it’s healthy. Dating a divorced man is no different. Just take your time with him. Slow your roll. Let him replace her with you like ice cubes displace water in a glass and all will be well.

Push marriage, kids or get jealous out of the gate and you are going to have issues.

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Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you’ll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They’re added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.

Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!

To learn more about it, click here. To purchase the book, click one of the buttons below.

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Dating a Recently Divorced Man? 4 Things you Should Know

Dating a Recently Divorced Man? 4 Things you Should Know

Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Dating a Recently Divorced Man Comes with Complications

You finally met a great guy after months of meeting frogs. This man showed up on time, smelled oh so good and holds a decent job. Congratulations! There is one small problem you didn’t know until now – you’re dating a recently divorced man.

You think, “No big deal, he’s over her, he even says so.” But a few dates pile up, and you realize that he mentions her name more often he should if he is over her.

You wonder whether he truly is over her, but you keep dating anyway.

The fact is that recently separated or divorced men can’t recover from their ex so quickly. Even if he hates her, he isn’t in the right frame of mind to see you. So how do you know if he’s ready to date?

Here are four things you need to know about dating a recently divorced man.

He isn’t Looking at You Through the Proper Lens

He doesn’t see you. Instead, he sees his ex and how you’re the same or different from her. He’s still too close to his ex and instead of looking at you for who you are, he’s comparing you to her. That’s not fair to you.

You want him to see you so he can make a fair assessment of your compatibility, just as you’re doing with him. If you’re dating a recently divorced man, you can bet he’s comparing your every move to his ex.

He compares how you measure up to her in bed, eat, and dress and this isn’t fair to you. His head should be clear, so he looks at you without her involved.
Occasionally something will trigger a reaction that relates back to his ex, but hopefully, these instances are few and far between.

When You’re Dating a Recently Divorced Man, You’re Probably His Ex’s Opposite

A recently divorced man most often chooses someone who is the opposite of the last woman he was with. Not because he should, but because he thinks that will fix the issues he experienced in the relationship.

My friend just divorced after twelve years. His wife was a homebody so once he was single, he dated a much wilder woman. He thought she was the answer but she wasn’t. The pendulum swang too far.

Oh the Mysterious Ways of Men!

There's no way for a woman to know intuitively what to expect from a man. That's why I'm here! There are many differences between men and women and this article shows you a few. But there are others. Click the button below to read those articles too!

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dating a recently divorced man

He’s More Likely to Flake on You

I see this repeatedly. You’re dating a recently divorced man and he starts blowing hot and cold. His emotions are all over the place and boom – he’s gone. The woman blames herself for this roller coaster of emotions.

But the problem lies within him. He either misses his ex or despises her and takes it out on the new girl. He might have good days, but the bad days come along a little too often.

You don’t need this. Building a healthy, mature relationship is tough enough without the memories of his ex hanging in the wings.

When You’re Dating a Recently Divorced Man, His Mouth Gets Ahead of His Intentions

Another problem of dating a recently divorced man is that he wants to prove to himself that he isn’t a failure, and that he can love.  So, he quickly jumps into the relationship, making promises too soon that he most likely won’t keep.

  • I want you to meet my kids
  • Let’s take off to Vegas
  • I haven’t met a woman like you before
  • Can I see you tomorrow night too?

You get my point. His mouth moves and he might come through with an action or two, but overall, he is an empty suit who isn’t ready for a relationship.

So, What’s a Girl to do When She Finds Herself Dating a Recently Divorced Man?

Slow Your Roll!

Find out his true situation by asking, in your womanly way of course. Test him:

  • Does he talk about her too much?
  • Does he blow hot and cold?
  • Is his mouth getting ahead of his intentions?

Keep Dating Other Men

The last thing you should do is put all your chips down on this guy. Nope.

Load your life with other men. If this guy flakes, it’s no big deal. I know your gut tells you that if you date other men, he’ll bolt. That’s okay. If he does, he wasn’t really in it to date you long-term anyway.

A great guy will be challenged by the competition of other men in your life and will step up his game and try harder.

Avoid Dating a Recently Divorced Man

This might be the best idea yet. You don’t need this extra layer of crap added to the mix. Tell him to hit you up in six months or so when he is in a better spot.
He’ll fight you on it and say, blah, blah, but don’t buy what he is selling!

Let Him Go if He Asks

I have a friend who was divorced several years ago. A couple years ago, she began dating a man who was still in the process of getting his divorce, which was taking a while.

They got along great, but one day, he came to her and told her he wanted to break things off. It was a friendly split and, as it turned out, they remained in contact.

What happened?

It was time to finalize his divorce and he needed to focus on that.

Several months later, she was scheduled to have surgery. He offered to take her to the surgery and bring her back to his house for the first few days of her recovery.
They’re back together. Why? Because he went, settled stuff with his ex, got over the marriage and was ready to date. He had done much of his getting over the ex before the divorce occurred so once it was over, he was ready to go!

Dating a Recently Divorced Man

Finding a man is hard in today’s dating jungle. You don’t need the added pressure of a man’s ex who’s still in the picture. Stand tall and ask him about his past. Most men will be happy to discuss the breakup especially if it is recent. If his emotions are still tender, run!

It's Time to Understand Men!

Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations.

Men view finances, love, dating, dealing with difficult situations, and communication differently than women.

Inside this book, you’ll discover how to improve your relationships by understanding these differences and learning how to overcome them and use them to your advantage.

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding what he’s thinking and how he’ll best understand you.

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Good Night Messages for Him That will Keep You on His Mind!

Good Night Messages for Him That will Keep You on His Mind!

Build a Great Relationship, Find Happily Ever After

Heartfelt Good Night Messages for Him

You enjoy telling him goodnight, but do you understand the power behind good night messages for him?

Your message could be the most powerful memory of the day for him, so why not make him feel good about himself and tell him how you feel. Guys are more sensitive than women think, and they respond to words of appreciation. Shoot him a good night message every now and then, but don’t overdo it.

Whether you just met, or you have been in love for twenty years, a good night message for him takes away stress and leaves him dreaming about you. Send it to him from the other side of the world or from the next room, but send it. He will love you for it.

Good Night Messages for Him

  • Today reminded me why I keep you around. Good night sweetie.
  • Tonight may have changed everything. Sleep tight my love.
  • What you accomplished today was amazing – you deserve to sleep well tonight.
  • I look forward to seeing your smile in the morning. Good night sweet darling.
  • I am blessed to have you in my life. Goodnight sweet baby.
  • Have you figured it out yet? I have. Sleep tight my prince.
  • May all your dreams come true tonight. I know mine have. Sleep well.
  • Rest my love. You deserve it.
  • I love you. And I will love you forever. Happy dreams!
  • Lights out my love. Can’t wait to take on the world with you tomorrow!
  • You had me when you smiled in my direction. Sweet thoughts my love.
  • Do you know who I want to spend my life with? Yes you! Good night darling 🙂
  • You still make my knees weak and my heart skip a beat. Good night my love.
  • Saturday can’t come quick enough. Sweet dreams.
  • Yeah, you’re kinda cute – but it’s your confidence that makes my heart flutter. See you in the morning!
  • I had a bad day today. Then, I saw you. Amazing! Good night baby.
  • A funny thing happened on a date tonight – I fell in love. Night. Night.
  • Dream about me tonight.
  • If you can dream it I can do it – as long as I am with you.
  • Two hearts became one this evening. Sleep well my love.
  • Lights out until we meet again tomorrow.
  • Guess what? I’ve decided to keep you. Good night my love.
  • Everyday my friends say how lucky I am to be with you. They are right. Sweet dreams Punky. (insert nickname)
  • Who is better than you? No one. Good night my knight.
  • If you only you knew the impact you have had on my life. I’ll show you firsthand in the morning.
  • At the end of a grinding day I am so blessed to come home to you. I will never take that for granted. Sweet dreams Mr. Jeff.
  • My lover and my best friend…forever. Sweet dreams.
  • You get better looking every day. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow! See you in the mornin’ my love.
  • I will miss you for these next eight hours 🙂 Good night honey.
  • I think my dog loves you too! Sleep tight dear.
  • Sometimes I snuggle on your chest when you are asleep. Your beating heart puts me to sleep.
  • Did you know we hold hands when you are asleep :)?
  • You are an amazing father and husband. I am blessed that the stars aligned and placed us together. Goodnight my superhero.
  • Millions of men are sleeping right now – but only the one reading this message matter to me. Good night.

These Good Night Messages for Him are Simple and Delightful – Try a Few!

I hope this list gives you some ideas that will let him know how you feel. Remember, we overlook the simple things because we’re so busy with our bustling lives. Slow things down at the end of the day and send him a good night message by voice or text.

If you do, he will love you for it!

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Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you’ll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They’re added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.

Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!

To learn more about it, click here. To purchase the book, click one of the buttons below.

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Me. You. Forever! Your Personal Couples Journal

Me. You. Forever! Your Personal Couples Journal

Build a Great Relationship, Find Happily Ever After

Surprising Things You Need to Know About Using a Couple’s Journal

A couples journal is one of the best tools you can use to strengthen your relationship. But it doesn’t happen without both of you putting in the time and effort. There are many benefits to journaling and as a couple, you can multiply those benefits by doing some of the activities together.

Since this is a long article, so I’ve provided an easy way for you to navigate the information. Just use the links below to read the different sections of this post!

Benefits of Journaling

Journaling and Men

Things to Include in Your Journal

Building a Solid Relationship Foundation with a Couple’s Journal

10 Ways to Use Your Couple’s Journal to Grow Your Relationship

Final Thoughts on Building a Solid Foundation

The Power of the Memories

Benefits of Journaling

Journaling Improves Intelligence

One way in which clinicians measure overall intelligence is by the size of your vocabulary.

The University of Victoria conducted a study during which the IQ and writing ability of subjects was tested. Each subject was tested before and after performing writing exercises. Following the exercises, the research showed a strong relationship between performing writing exercises and increased intelligence.

It further indicated that people who write have a higher IQ. In other words, writers are smart people. This extends to those who write in journals, not just professionals!

The logic behind these results rests in the use of language. Writing encourages you to explore your language further and enables you to use words you might not use in everyday exchanges.

If you are using a couples journal, you can challenge one another by sneaking in new words or phrases. You can have a word of the day, as well as other fun language-based activities.

Letting Go of Negativity

Writing in a couples journal provides a space to let your pent-up negative emotions flow. I’ve heard of parents and children sharing a private journal where the child can write anything in the journal. The child knows the parent will read it, but the parent can’t apply negative consequences to what is written.

If a child confesses something, it can be up for discussion in a healthy way. The parents agree not to use the information to deliver negative consequences.

Children are often more likely to share truth with their parents in this way. This opens the door for constructive discussions while building a trusting relationship.

In a couples journal, you can work things in much the same way. What is written between the two of you stays between the two of you. Additionally, the door is opened for discussion without negative consequences.

If your partner shares that he’s really put off by something, you can examine your behavior and talk about it. Sometimes initiating these conversations in person can be difficult so this makes it easier.

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Dealing with Anxiety Inside your Love Journal

Anxiety, is thinking into the future and imagining a negative outcome. Writing in a journal helps because you can review thought patterns to see how they flow. Watch the anxious thoughts unfold and see patterns emerge when you aren’t feeling anxious.

Journaling also has a calming effect on your mind. You can let go of the negative thoughts that are banging around in your head. As you journal, you will uncover not only the thought patterns you have during your anxious moments, but also the triggers.

This is one area of using a couples journal where you must be careful and sensitive to one another. When someone is sharing their negative thought patterns, don’t reinforce them or be judgmental.

If your partner shares in the journal that he’s anxious about an upcoming job interview, don’t feed his anxiety. Also, don’t say something seemingly harmless like, “Dan, I don’t know why you worry so much about this stuff.”

While a statement like that sounds like you’re lifting him up, you’re really telling him he’s silly to worry.

Instead, remind him of his attributes and accomplishments, “Dan, getting that PMI certification last month was a great accomplishment. Your people skills are great. I’m sure the interviewer will see that too!”

Strengthen Your Immune System by Using a Love Journal Together

Can you believe that journaling can actually make you healthier?

When you experience less anxiety, you are healthier. When you aren’t feeling depressed, you’re healthier. If you let go of negativity, you’re happier and therefore healthier.

A couple’s journal is an excellent way to bond with your significant other. Me. You. Together Forever is not just a couple’s journal but a planner too. Using this journal will help you keep your schedules synced, answer difficult questions and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about Me. You. Together Forever here or you can purchase it by clicking below.

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Using a Couples Journal Provides Improved Emotional Health

When you journal, you’re more in tune with your inner thoughts and desires. You’re mindful of your surroundings and thoughts and can remain present in this moment. This keeps your anxiety from kicking in.

Writing in a journal keeps your emotions regulated and improves self-confidence and identity. It also triggers and grows the creative side of your brain. In every possible way, journaling promotes personal growth and awareness.

You Develop a Practice of Mindfulness

Being mindful means being present in the moment. You aren’t ruminating on the past or anxious about the future. You’re able to write about your hopes and fears in a way that allows your mind to work through it.

While writing, you actively engage in your thought process and here’s the kicker: when you’re mindful, you’re happier.

BONUS!

As a couple, become more mindful of your own thoughts and those of your partner. When we’re stressed, it’s easy to be absorbed in our own thoughts. But, if you and your partner are doing this together, you can be more present in their world as well.

Using a Couple’s Journal Helps You Improve Self-Discipline

Setting aside time every day to write in your journal begins a practice of self-discipline. Like anything else, the more you do it, the better you’ll be. As you form this habit, you’ll form others.

For example, a journaling habit brings mindfulness to those moments. It also helps you develop more of an overall mindfulness mindset.

If you develop a habit of doing the dishes after each meal instead of allowing them to pile up, you’ll soon keep other areas of the kitchen cleaner. This leads to keeping the adjoining rooms cleaner, and so on.

Good habits and self-discipline build and expand, which is always a great thing in your life!

As a couple, encourage one another when one isn’t feeling it. Sometimes, you come home from work or school exhausted. Doing even one more thing seems like too much.

Your partner says something like, “Gee Honey, I know how you feel. I was wiped out too, but writing in our journal when I got home actually helped me feel refreshed and energized.”

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Using a Couples Journal and Men

Women are more inclined to journal than men, but I think men will do it if there are clear benefits. How can you keep him engaged in the process?

I read reviews of many of the top love journals and one comment was concerning to me. I want to address it and help you understand how men will stay engaged in the process.

A Couples Journal Should Be Fun

Yes, this journal will have its serious entries, but life isn’t always about being serious. Many negative comments I read about a couples journal included comments about silly activities. The woman writing the review was annoyed by the silliness.

Let yourself have fun once in a while. Great moments in a relationship aren’t always built when you’re being serious with one another. Highly memorable moments are often built in the silliest of situations.

“Remember the time I thought I could go sprinting across that stream and I landed flat on my butt in the ice-cold water? That was a great hike!”

A man will enjoy this process more if it isn’t always so serious, and quite frankly, so will you.

There are times to be serious in your life and in your journaling. There are also times to cut loose and have fun. Challenge one another to do silly things like, ”Hey Jack, I bet I can eat more donuts than you for breakfast this morning! I’m heading to Krispy Kreme now for a dozen! Be hungry!”

This is great! It’s something you can both write about later, probably in different ways. You might write about how much fun it was to watch Jack try to beat your donut count. Men are competitive, and we want to win! Even against you!

He may write about how much he enjoyed the mystery of wondering what you’ll pull next! You were mysterious to him. This is always a good thing! Of course, he’ll also like the challenge itself, so it’s a double win!

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It Should be a Safe Space

Earlier, I said your journal is a safe space where you can share anything without fear of negative consequences.

Before you begin, agree that your journaling space is a judgment-free zone. Your partner can share his thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears and desires knowing he won’t be negatively judged.

You have that same freedom. If something comes up that you want to ask about, you do so without negativity and judgment.

“Joe, I saw you wrote about being afraid you’re going to lose your job in the company downsizing. I just want you to know I’m here for you if you want to talk more about it.”

Or,

“Steve, I saw that entry you wrote about your sex fantasy yesterday and I wanted to know if you’d like to try it sometime. I’m up for it if you are!”

The idea of a couples journal is to share memories and be supportive of one another. If you treat your partner’s entries with respect, he will be more and more open with his entries and responses.

You Might Not Always Like What the Other Writes

Another criticism I’ve read about couples journals is that the questions inside pre-printed journals can cause a fight.

While I would never encourage a couple to argue, I’m also realistic. From time to time, a couple is going to have a disagreement. This is a normal part of a relationship. Disagreeing with one another doesn’t mean you stop caring for or loving one another. It means that, on this topic, you don’t agree. Period.

I recently read somewhere that couples experience more arguments earlier in their marriage. I suspect this has something to do with not having a rhythm between you. You don’t really one another well. There’s also a slight degree of immaturity found in a need to be right versus a need to settle the disagreement.

Of course, we’ve declared the journal to be a judgment-free and positive space, but still, things happen. You’re tired, emotionally wrung out, overwrought or overly anxious about something and allow your emotions to run away with you. It’s okay, it happens.

If your partner shares something in the journal that is upsetting to you, you have a choice on how to react. You can react emotionally and fly off the handle, or you can react proactively and think carefully about your response before delivering it.

May I encourage you to be proactive?

Either way, you are in control of your reaction. That’s a topic for an entirely different article, but understand that whether you get angry or not is your choice. Just like it’s his choice if he gets angry.

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Set a Cadence You Can Both Manage

Let’s face it. Life is crazy hectic, especially if you have children. While you might want to write in your couple’s journal every day, it might not be realistic. Even if you have the time, your guy might not.

As you begin the love journal journey, decide how frequently you would both like to write. It’s okay if you don’t write the same amount or on the same days. The idea is to build your life together and have memories of your life together.

You may agree to write weekly, every other day or every day. You may find out that you can do more frequently, or you need to do less frequently.

There are no rules except the ones you both agree to. Don’t force him to write every day if you both know, realistically, that he’s not going to do it.

You may both get into it and realize that you both enjoy the writing and want to step it up. Whatever you do is fine. The point is to make this stress-free, enjoyable, positive and memorable.

Using a Couples Journal Isn’t Always About the BIG Memories

I knew a guy once who bought his girlfriend a loaf of bread. This happened twenty years ago. Still, of all the things she remembers about their time together, she remembers that loaf of bread.

Why?

Because he took the time to notice, on another occasion, that she loved this particular type of bread, and he made an effort to get it for her.

Your journal entries aren’t always going to be some big drawn-out affair. They may be about the smallest things or they could be about huge events in your lives. The birth of a child, your wedding, anniversaries, death of a loved one or buying a new pet all qualify, as does the bread.

Each has its own significance in your life, but much of what you write will probably seem insignificant at the time. Five years from now, however, it might be a truly fond memory you enjoy recalling.

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Things to Include in Your Couples Journal

Before we get too far into this topic, I want to tiptoe through Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. Are you familiar with them? If not, you can dig deeper into them here.

The first time I read about the Five Love Languages, I thought these are great, but I can make them better! Men and women think differently, love differently and have different needs in a relationship.

The Five Love Languages summarize the ways in which people prefer to be loved. I want to summarize for you how to best use these love languages with your guy.

One word of caution before I continue. Often, when I share these tips with women, they go overboard and do them all the time.

You don’t need to use any of these on a daily basis. That’s overkill, and takes away the true meaning of doing it. You want to use these when the occasion arises, otherwise, it won’t feel special.

Words of Affirmation

If this is his love language is words of affirmation, he appreciates a pat on the back from time to time and an ‘atta’ boy type of thing.

The trick to this is timing. I own a construction business. If someone tells me the tile job I just completed for them is awesome, I’m glad to hear it, but it doesn’t get my juices flowing.

Now, if I get a review on one of my books, telling me how much the words helped a woman who was feeling really down and out, I am walking on air!

What’s the difference?

I’ve been in construction for my entire adult life, which is more years than I’d like to admit. I have heard compliments for most of those years. While I appreciate the compliments, they don’t make me feel any better than before I heard them.

But, when I make a positive impact in the life of someone by helping them feel better, I truly feel as if I’d contributed and I feel great!

When you deliver words of affirmation to your guy, make them relate to something he’s passionate about. If he likes rebuilding Mustangs, compliment him on the paint job or how nice the engine sounds when he revs it up.

Hit him in his passion point and watch the smile spread across his face!

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Gifts

For this guy, the easiest way to really strike gold is to gift him something that relates to his passion. If he likes sports, get him tickets for his favorite team. If he’s into cars, get him a book on the history of his favorite car or a how-to on something he enjoys doing.

A gift can also be the meal his mom always made that made him feel warm and fuzzy or his favorite kind of cake or cookie.

It can even be something as simple as a note in his computer bag or on the bathroom mirror that reminds him he’s special to you.

Quality Time

If his love language is quality time, you have more leverage to do it more often. The best way to show him you love him is to do something together that you both enjoy. It can be anything from having a movie night at home to taking a vacation away together for a week or two.

A couple’s journal is an excellent way to bond with your significant other. Me. You. Together Forever is not just a couple’s journal but a planner too. Using this journal will help you keep your schedules synced, answer difficult questions and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about Me. You. Together Forever here or you can purchase it by clicking below.

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Physical Touch

I find physical touch to be the most challenging for couples. I knew a couple once who were polar opposites on this. He craved physical touch and even begged for it while she was more of a don’t touch me type.

It didn’t work out. His whining to be touched all the time drove her crazy and she came to resent his need to be touched. They didn’t understand the love languages. If they had, they probably could have worked something out.

If your guy craves physical touch, find out what it is he’s looking for. Does he like the occasional massage or does he enjoy holding hands? Maybe he just likes to have his arm around you when you’re together. Maybe he wants you to place your hand on his knee when you’re sitting together.

Have a conversation to see what exactly he wants. Even if your language isn’t touch, you’ll have to adjust and be accommodating. Just like the other languages, you both need to find a balance between both your needs.

Acts of Service

Often, this is how a man shows he loves you. Men tend to be doers. Sometimes, however, this could be his love language as well.

Acts of service and gifts can overlap. An act of service might be preparing his favorite meal or cleaning his car for him. It might be something as simple as picking up his laundry at the cleaner’s or mowing the lawn.

Love Language Final Notes

It’s possible to have more than one love language, although one will be stronger than the other and usually. This is nice because it gives you some flexibility in how you show your love for him.

If you’re unsure of your own love language, or his, you can figure it out easily enough. Pay attention to how he responds to different things you do.

Look at how he shows his love to you. Our tendency is to show love in the way which most represents how we want to be loved. If he showers you with gifts, that might be his love language as well. If he does things for you around the house, he may like acts of service.

Recognize his love language and show him you love him in the way he understands best. Then, strike a balance between your needs and his. This requires discussion and honesty.
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Building a Solid Relationship Foundation with a Couples Journal

Researchers have spent the last thirty or so years uncovering what makes a successful relationship happen. After plowing through tons of this research, I have a few keys to success to share with you today. The best part is you can accomplish these by using a love journal.

Admire Your Partner

Your guy might be the worst joke-teller on the planet. But, laugh at his jokes anyway and believe he can tell a great joke. Nobody is perfect, but if you’ve found a great guy, all he needs to be is perfect for you. He might not look like a male model, but he tells corny jokes, has a good job and a smile that melts your heart, every time.

When we get in a funk, we tend to look at the negatives, but what if you focus instead on positives.

The next time your guy annoys the heck out of you by leaving the seat up (why do women need to win this one?), recall the time he made you laugh so hard at that joke he tells every time you go out for sushi.

Make a conscious effort to look at things that attracted you to him. You’ll find yourself in a happier relationship. Be enthusiastic about him. Don’t make him your passion or hobby, but get excited when you see him and let him know it.

When you use your couples journal, let him know what it is about him that revs your engine. Show that enthusiasm for his dumb sushi joke.

Focus on and Celebrate the Good Times in your Couples Journal

In a University of California study by Shelly Gable, participants ranked receiving a supportive response to good news higher than receiving a sympathetic response to bad news. Gable categorized our set of possible reactions into four categories:

  • Active Constructive
  • Passive Constructive
  • Active Destructive
  • Passive Destructive

If you engage in Active Constructive communication, you’re saying something like, ”I’m so proud of you for getting that promotion!” This is an excellent way to communicate with your partner and will have the most lasting positive impact.

While it might also seem okay to say, “Gee Sweetie, that’s good”, it’s not really anywhere close to a great response. It’s like you’re being dismissive. He’s got great news but he interrupted your important life to deliver it.

Now, if your guy comes to you with a promotion and your response is “Does this mean you’ll have to work more on the weekends?”, you’re engaging in Active Destructive communication. You’re essentially saying that his promotion sucks for your life, regardless of how it impacts his.

And finally, no response at all to his excited news is called Passive Destructive. You’re ignoring him at a time when he just got a win – and a win is a big deal to a guy!

Focus your energy on being Active Constructive in your interactions. Don’t be fake. Anyone can see fake. Whip up that enthusiasm we just talked about, focus on his good points, and for Pete’s sake, be glad he has a job!

In your couples journal, you can expand on your excitement over his good news. This is a great way to reinforce that you are happy for him and care enough to let him know about it. Avoid comments that seem dismissive, vague or negative.

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Be Grateful to Each Other Inside your Love Journal

It’s very hard to get too far down in the dumps if you’re focused on the good things happening in your life. This goes for everyone, single, in a relationship or married.

Gratitude is an essential tool in your confidence and self-esteem arsenal. Take time to write about the things he did in your world today that made a difference, albeit a small one.

Maybe he warms your car up every morning in the winter or cools it off in the summer. Perhaps he fixes the coffee before he dashes out the door or passes by the dry cleaners to get the dress you want to wear on date night tonight.

Gratitude forms a stronger connection between you and reminds you of your feelings toward one another. It also inspires responses from him. It turns an ordinary act into something extraordinary because you recognized and acknowledged it.

The kicker for gratitude is that you shouldn’t feel obligated to respond in kind if he says something nice. Be grateful from your heart, otherwise it just undoes the good of his gratitude toward you.

Enrich One Another’s Lives

I was listening to Intentional Living by John Maxwell the other day and something struck me so hard that I had to stop what I was doing to write it down.

What I wrote down was this: How did you matter in your partner’s life today? What was the story the two of you wrote today?

If you only answered these two questions every day for one another, you would have a relationship made in heaven!

I’d also like to take this in a different direction and encourage you to spend time together doing exciting things. Now, exciting is a relative term. Exciting for me might not be exciting for you but that’s where you expand one another and enrich one another’s lives.

Exciting for your guy might be zip-lining, which might terrify you and he probably knows it. Why not take the risk? The benefits are tremendous.

First, you build a great experience together, but you also face a fear, which builds your own self-esteem and confidence! This is a win-win. The excitement of the activity will form a bond between you and if you both get something out of the experience, that bond is nearly inseverable.

Being there to boost one another up is a great way to show your support for your partner. You can use your couples journal to not only write about the experience but stick in some photographs for a deeper memory.

This type of activity shows your partner that you’re not only there for the good times, but you’re there to support one another during difficult times too.

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Encourage One Another to Pursue Goals

The final brick of your foundation that we’ll discuss today is to encourage one another in the pursuit of your goals. A great use of your love journal might be to write down, as individuals, what your goals are. Then, compare notes and come up with a list of goals for you as a couple.

Not all your goals will align and that’s okay. You’re not there to approve of his goals, you’re there to support him in his pursuit of his goals.

A friend of mine is an engineer. After he graduated from college, he set a goal of getting his professional engineer’s license. He had a long-term goal of owning his own engineering firm and having is license was a requirement.

He was married with two young children, and pursuing his license meant spending two nights a week after work at a night class, leaving his young and exhausted wife home for more than 12 hours with the kids.

Still, she did it without complaint. She supported his goal to get his license. She allowed him time to study for his test and was supportive and encouraging when it was time to take the test. This meant an extra burden on her, but she didn’t complain.

Another example is a Biography show I watched recently. It was on Jeff Foxworthy, the comedian. They were interviewing his wife, Gregg, about their early marriage years and something she said struck me. She was talking about how they were broke most of the time while he did comedy gigs in bowling alleys and bars, but she didn’t care.

Then, her husband got his big break and was invited to be on the Johnny Carson show – the ultimate goal of every comedian in that era. What Gregg Foxworthy said went something like this, “I was so excited. It was everything we had dreamed of.”

She didn’t say it was Jeff’s dream. It was their dream. That’s magic right there!

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10 Ways to Use Your Couples Journal to Grow Your Relationship

In order to build wealth, financial advisers recommend paying yourself before your bills.

This is the same effect a couple’s journal can have on your relationship. By putting dedicated time and energy into one another before anything else, you are investing in building a solid future together.

It should be a fun activity, not something you dread, and if done right, it will be just that!

Record Photos and Feelings

When you both look back at this journal in years to come, you will treasure the photos and the feelings those photos bring.

The memories you build, which I like to call pennies in the jar, are like a form of relationship insurance. When a couple has strong, happy memories together, they are more likely to want to stay together than to go find someone new.

With each photograph, you can both write something about the photo, including where it was taken, how you felt while you were there and what was so memorable about the experience.

Use Your Couples Journal to Give Compliments to One Another

Life gets hectic! There may be days when you’re like ships passing in the night. You can still connect with one another in a great way by providing a compliment, even if he’s not there to see it immediately!

“I truly appreciated how well you cleaned up the breakfast dishes this morning! I was in a hurry and it really made me happy to come home from work tonight without a mess to clean up!”

Everyone likes to be appreciated and this is a great way to let a man know that the little things he does for you don’t go unnoticed! Just like you, he wants to feel appreciated for his efforts.

Share Your Hopes and Dreams

What better way to use a couples journal than to dream about your next big adventure together! This makes me think of the movie, Up! Even though it’s a cartoon, it’s a really cool movie to watch!

If you haven’t seen it, an older man and a young boy strike out on an adventure together. At the end of their adventure, the man opens the journal he and his now-deceased wife kept and realizes that she wanted him to continue his adventure without her.

This movie puts life in perspective!

What if this was your last year to spend together? Which types of adventures would you want to go on together? What dreams would you want to fulfill?

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Use Your Couples Journal as a Tool for Communication

Sometimes, communication can be difficult. Men have times in their lives when they retreat into their own little cocoon in order to re-evaluate, problem solve or lick their wounds.

While your instinct might be to try to nurture him out of it, a better way to communicate with him during his difficult time is to ask him a question in your journal.

You can also share stories of difficult times in your own life. While these may not prompt immediate discussion, it isn’t something he’s likely to forget.

You can write letters to one another, either randomly, or for special occasions or difficult trials in your relationship. Communication doesn’t always come naturally to a man in a relationship but if he can write it down, he may be more willing to share.

Share Your Feelings

Keeping in mind that this is a positive space, share your feelings with your guy. Even if you’re telling him how frustrated you were with something he did, it’s important to write that as a feelings statement, rather than an accusation.

He will respond much better to:

“Tom, it really made me feel invisible when you ignored me at the Baker’s party last weekend.”

Than he will respond to:

“The next time we go out and you treat me like crap, I’M LEAVING!”

You can even provide him with hints on how it might be better next time:

“It’s fine if you want to go off and hang out with your friends at a party, but I would enjoy the party more if we could do things as a couple too.”

Complaints should be at a minimum, though. This is the space to share the joyful moments!

“Sharing the birth of our first child with you was the most amazing experience of my life.”

Inspire One Another through Your Couples Journal

If you have favorite quotes you love, people who inspire you or things you’re passionate about, share them with your guy.

Use this space to inspire him to grow as an individual or to promote growth as a couple.

What do you want out of life? What does he want out of life? How can you inspire one another to achieve those goals?

Your couples journal is the unique history of your life together. It is a tool by which you can grow together and form an unbreakable bond. It’s the place from which the dreams of your life together are laid bare.

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Record Lasting Memories

Not all memories come from big vacations on the beach, weddings and other large celebrations. Some of the best memories come from the smallest of things.

Your couple’s journal is a great place to write down that time you forgot to put the entire amount of flour in the cookies and they spread all over the pan or the time he put fertilizer on the lawn…except for that one strip down the middle.

Your yearly trips to the apple orchard or to pick out that perfect Christmas tree (or the Charlie Brown one!) can be logged in your journal.

Save Mementos

The ticket from the first movie you saw together or a napkin from the first bar you went to together are great mementos to take you back to those exciting moments of your young relationship.

As your relationship grows and builds, you can save other items with meaning like wedding invitations, markers of goals achieved or results of shared hobbies like photographs or printed documents.

You can also store the names of songs that mean something to both of you, poems, cards or other items that only the two of you can appreciate.

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Final Thoughts on Building a Solid Foundation with Your Couples Journal

I wanted to conclude by sharing with you some of the remaining research I uncovered about successful marriages, but just in a few bullet points. It’s important because the focus is on how men and women perceive the success factors of their relationships differently.

When asked, women stated these as the top reasons why their marriage was successful (in decreasing order):

  • Freedom to pursue dreams and individuality
  • Similar backgrounds and interests
  • Friendship
  • Love
  • My spouse is a good person
  • Support of one another
  • Commitment

Men responded with these:

  • Friendship
  • Love
  • Similar backgrounds and interests
  • Similar values
  • Know one another well before marriage
  • Respect for the other person’s feelings
  • Commitment

If you use your couples journal to hit most of those, you will be in great shape! While it’s long, this article is full of ideas for sharing your thoughts in writing.

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The Power of a Couples Journal is in the Memories

Memories shore up your relationship and help to keep it affair proof. They are things shared just between the two of you, things that can’t be undone.

This can become a fundamental communication tool between the two of you and an invaluable resource for growth as a couple.

A couple’s journal is an excellent way to bond with your significant other. Me. You. Together Forever is not just a couple’s journal but a planner too. Using this journal will help you keep your schedules synced, answer difficult questions and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about Me. You. Together Forever here or you can purchase it by clicking below.

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How to Spice Up a Relationship and Keep Things Exciting

How to Spice Up a Relationship and Keep Things Exciting

Build a Great Relationship, Find Happily Ever After

How to Spice up a Relationship!

Today, we have guest blogger, Maria Parker, who will write about how to spice up a relationship.

There are two types of people in this world. There are those who fall in love and commit for the long haul and those with an unexplainable fear of falling in love. This is also known as philophobia.

Although you might say that only one of those two groups is doing something wrong with their life, think again.

The group that falls in love and commits to the long haul also divides into two subgroups. One thinks, “I never have to worry about love anymore.” The other keeps trying to make their partner happy, just like when they first started dating.

Philophobiacs have problems related to love and many who are in love take that love for granted. They’re left feeling empty and alone in the end.

Without constantly putting in effort and trying hard, you can’t have a happy relationship. Even the best ones came crashing down for one reason only – a routine that turns into boredom. Where there is no excitement, the passion fades away.

If you’ve been in long-term relationships, you know what I’m talking about. After that much time spent together, you think there isn’t much you can do to spice things up. Well, that’s where you’re wrong.

There are a lot of things you can do, things that haven’t crossed your mind because they are so simple, yet they work like a charm.

How can you help your relationship get back on the right track, and improve yourself while you’re at it?

Put More Effort Into the Way You Look

One way to spice up a relationship is by modifying your look! What you wear is how you feel. You don’t need to be dressed up all the time, but don’t hang out in your sweatpants and t-shirts. It will ruin your self-esteem sooner or later, not to mention how your partner perceives you.

Try something else from time to time. Slip into something sexier, do something different with your hair and put some effort into sweeping your partner off his feet.

Oil Can be Your Best Friend

When talking about routine and boredom in long-term relationships, you can’t avoid talking about sex. When sex becomes boring, your relationship is really coming to an end. To prevent this from happening or if it’s already happening, use oil – it can be a relationship saver.

If for some reason, you aren’t having sex, offer your partner a romantic massage with oil. This will turn from just a relaxing massage into wild sex in a matter of minutes. I told you already and I’m going to tell you again – oil is your best friend.

spice up your relationship

Technology is Distracting You

I know, the season finale of GOT is approaching and you’d rather watch TV than snuggle with your partner. Well, keep one thing in mind: after your partner leaves you, you’ll have plenty of time to watch TV if that’s what you want.

TV in your room – not a good idea. The chances are you’re going to fall asleep, leaving your partner unsatisfied, which increases the chance of your relationship crashing like a house of cards.

Spice Up a Relationship | Play Exciting Games

Have you ever tried playing “never have I ever” questions? Despite the fact you think you know everything about your partner, playing this game will prove otherwise. There are sure to be a few things you didn’t know.

On the plus side, you can turn this game into a great sex tool. Use your sexual fantasies and your wildest wishes – who knows, maybe they’ll come true.

Do Something You’re Too Old For

Do something you always wanted to do, but do it with your partner. Is it a concert you’ve been dying to go to ever since you were in high school, or maybe you wanted to get a tattoo? Whatever it is, don’t hesitate to do it.

The trick is, you have to do it with your partner. You have to share that experience with him. That experience will serve as a bonding tool between you – something that will bring change and excitement into your relationship.

Five Causes for a Stale Relationship and How to Spice it Up

How to Spice up a Relationship

As you may have noticed, learning how to spice up a relationship is all about changing things up and knocking the two of you out of routine and boredom. While it’s easy to slip into those routines, it’s also easy to change things up a bit. It’s not just good for your relationship, but it’s good for you too. Our minds work better when we hop out of our routines.

So do it for yourself, or do it for your relationship, but try these tips on how to spice up a relationship and watch your relationship soar.

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Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you’ll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They’re added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.

Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!

To learn more about it, click here. To purchase the book, click one of the buttons below.

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Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Free Relationship Advice for Women | From a Guy Who Cares!

Build Confidence, Date Great Men, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Women often face relationship challenges that are both common and unique. One of these challenges is communication. Many women struggle with expressing needs, desires, and concerns effectively to their partners, which leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of emotional connection. 

Another common relationship challenge is maintaining a healthy balance between your own needs and the needs of your partner. Women often find themselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, such as being a partner, a mother, a professional, and a caregiver, resulting in neglecting your own self-care and personal fulfillment. Prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries helps you avoid burnout and maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

Trust issues can also be a significant challenge in relationships. Past experiences of betrayal or heartbreak make it difficult to fully trust your partner, which then leads to insecurity, jealousy, and a constant need for reassurance. Building trust takes time and effort from both partners, and it is important to work on healing past wounds and developing trust in order to have a fulfilling and secure relationship.

Another challenge is navigating power dynamics within relationships. Society often places certain expectations on women, such as being submissive or accommodating which can lead to imbalanced power dynamics where women may feel their needs and desires are not valued or respected. It is important to assert your boundaries, communicate your needs, and strive for equality within your relationships.

Lastly, a common challenge is maintaining your own identity and independence. Women may sometimes feel pressured to prioritize your partner’s needs and sacrifice your own dreams and aspirations. It is important to remember that you are an individual with your own goals and passions. Balancing personal growth and maintaining a sense of self within a relationship is essential for long-term happiness and fulfillment.

free relationship advice

Free Relationship Advice: Unleash the Power of Communication in Your Relationships

There’s no tool more powerful in a relationship than effective communication. Yes, you just read a bit on this, but let’s take a moment to really understand why communication holds such significance.

Imagine this: Your partner comes home late from work, and you’re feeling neglected. Instead of expressing your feelings, you keep quiet, fueling an atmosphere of tension. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably time to reassess your communication strategy.

How do you unleash the power of communication in your relationship?

  1. Express – Don’t bottle up your feelings. Communicate openly with your partner about what’s bothering you. The key here is to use “I” statements instead of the blaming “you”. For instance: “I feel ignored when you come late regularly” instead of “You never care about my feelings”.
  2. Listen – A big part of communication is not just talking, but truly listening. Pay attention to what your partner is saying. React and respond to his thoughts and feelings to indicate that you value his emotions and opinions.
  3. Clarify – If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification. Never assume or interpret your partner’s feelings on your own. Misinterpretations can often lead to unnecessary conflicts.
  4. Be Constructive – It’s essential to communicate constructively. Emphasize on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Frame your criticisms or suggestions in a helpful way.

These may sound too simple, but in the heat of the moment, even the simplest principles are forgotten. Practice these until they become a part of your regular communication habit. Effective communication is a skill that can be improved with patience and persistence.

Like any skill, it’s going to take time to improve your communication, so, don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get everything right immediately.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together… is communication.” – Bernard Kelvin Clive

Mastering the Art of Active Listening in Your Relationship

One of the most important and often overlooked skills for any relationship is active listening. Most think they’re good listeners, but are you really hearing what your partner is saying? Do you understand his feelings, thoughts, fears, and dreams as he expresses them? Active listening goes beyond merely hearing the words. It involves showing empathy and understanding, acknowledging his perspective, and reacting appropriately.

Active listening is a skill that can transform your relationship. It’s all about giving undivided attention to your partner, showing understanding, and demonstrating sincere interest and concern. It’s not merely about the words he’s saying, but also the non-verbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

How can you be an active listener?

  1. Listen with empathy: Tune into your partner’s feelings and confirm your understanding.
  2. Use affirming body language: Sit facing your partner, maintain eye contact, and use nonverbal cues such as nodding to show you’re engaged.
  3. Avoid interrupting: Allow your partner to fully express his thoughts and feelings before you respond.
  4. Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to share more about his experience by asking questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.
  5. Paraphrase and reflect: Restate what he said in your own words to confirm that you understood him.
  6. Validate feelings: Even if you disagree with your partner, recognize his feelings as valid and important.

Remember: The goal of active listening isn’t to prepare your responses while your partner is talking, but to truly understand and empathize with their perspective.

Active listening creates a deep connection with your partner. It strengthens your bond, improves trust, and fosters a caring and understanding relationship. It might take a little practice to break old habits and improve your active listening skills, but the payoff in your relationship is well worth the effort!

Free Relationship Advice: Develop the Art of Effective Conflict Resolution

No matter who you are or how perfect your relationship seems, disagreements are inevitable. However, it’s how you handle these conflicts that truly matters.

Ever had an argument spiral out of control until you can’t remember what you’re fighting about? By embracing effective methods of conflict resolution, you can transform these situations into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

1. Listen First, Respond Later: Understanding the other person’s perspective before dropping your thoughts, and listening to his point of view helps him know his opinions are valued and builds a strong foundation for a fair resolution.

Remember: Listening doesn’t mean you agree, but shows respect for one other’s feelings and perspectives.

2. Use ‘I’ Statements Instead of ‘You’ Statements: When expressing your feelings, start sentences with “I” instead of “You”, thus taking the blame off your partner and minimizing defensive reactions.

For instance, replace “You never help with the chores” with “I feel overwhelmed when I manage the chores alone”.

3. Practice Active-Responsiveness: Acknowledging what your partner says is also important. Simple actions like nodding, using assurances like “I understand” and clarifying when necessary helps him feel understood and appreciated.

4. Keep It to the Point: During disagreements, it’s easy to sink to a blame game or bring up past issues. Focus on and discuss only the issue at hand until a resolution is found.

5. Seek to Find a Win-Win Resolution: Aim for resolutions that satisfy both partners, even if this means compromising a little. Resolutions should feel fair and mutually beneficial.

Understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution techniques can transform your relationship dynamics for the better. You’ll notice improved communication, mutual respect and, ultimately, a healthier relationship.

Remember: Conflict is inevitable but fighting isn’t. How you handle the disagreement is what matters.

free relationship advice

Finding Balance: Juggling Career and Relationships

We live in a world where there’s always something to do, something more to achieve. Finding the perfect balance between career and relationships might feel like a Herculean task. Trust me, it’s not about dividing your hours in a mathematical sequence but more about finding equilibrium and mutual understanding. How can you navigate this complex journey?

First,  you don’t have to do everything at once; put energy into what matters most. List tasks and goals and order them according by importance, focusing on the crucial ones. A well-prioritized life equals a balanced life.

  • Communicate: Open and honest communication solves many problems. Speak with your partner about your aspirations and pressures. Help him understand your ambitions and ask him to work with you in balancing professional and personal commitments.
  • Set boundaries: Clear boundaries separate your work life from your personal life. Leave work at work. Use your off-work time to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones.
  • Self-Care: Don’t forget about taking care of your own needs. Practice mental, physical, and emotional self-care. Exercising, maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness can do wonders for your well-being and positively impact your relationships and career.

Here’s an example:

Start the day with a mindful coffee intake, updating your partner about your day and setting clear workspace delineation if you’re working from home. Take a mid-afternoon workout break and cap the day off by leaving your laptop at work and taking a walk with your loved one.

Balancing a career and relationship can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Never be too hard on yourself as everyone’s balance is different. Try to live in the present moment, appreciate small victories, and enjoy the process. Now, go ahead and juggle away!

Free Relationship Advice: Create Healthy Boundaries for a Happier Relationship

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in a relationship is critical for mutual respect and emotional stability. When boundaries are defined, you and your partner understand each other’s needs, desires, and limitations. It prevents unnecessary stress, arguments, and resentment in the long run. Here’s how:

  1. Explicit Communication: Openly discuss what is comfortable and tolerable for both of you. Don’t leave it to assumptions or vague expressions.
  2. Say a Firm ‘Yes’ or ‘No’: Be able to express yes or no without hesitation or guilt. No one has the right to question or overrule your decisions. Recognizing your own feelings is vital to setting boundaries.
  3. Understanding Emotional Boundaries: Respect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It’s crucial to understand that one’s emotional space shouldn’t be violated.

Remember, boundaries are adjustable. You’re both individuals with evolving needs and wishes. Keep the conversation open and respectful. Here are some examples of healthy emotional boundaries:

Boundaries Explanation
Respecting Personal Space Recognize and respect each other’s need for solitude or time away.
Time Management Avoid the tendency to be overly dominating or submissive with each other’s time.
Limitations on Personal history disclosure Respect each other’s decision to share or withhold personal history or experiences.

Remember, ‘Your rights end where my nose begins’. This saying underlines the importance of respecting each other’s boundaries for a harmonious relationship.

“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” – Christine Morgan

By creating these boundaries, you’re showing your partner the respect he deserves and setting an expectation for how you wish to be treated. It promotes an atmosphere of mutual respect, understanding, and love, creating a healthier and happier relationship.

Understanding the Importance of Self-Love in a Relationship

Self-love is valuing your own happiness and well-being, understanding your worth and not compromising it for anything or anyone. Why is it important in a relationship?

Loving yourself sets a standard for how you allow others to treat you. You set boundaries, you assert your needs, and you don’t settle for less. Self-love isn’t about being self-centered. It’s about maintaining your individuality even in a relationship while continuing to flourish and grow as an individual, and that individual growth contributes to the growth of your relationship.

A common misconception is that self-love might lead to a ‘me-first’ attitude and create conflicts in a relationship. But here’s the fascinating part: when you love yourself, you’re better able to love others. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re emotionally empty or not fulfilled from within, it’s difficult to contribute positively to the relationship.

“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” – Jane Travis

So, how do you cultivate self-love?

  1. Understand your worth: Know you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness. You don’t have to settle for anything less.
  2. Accept your flaws: None of us is perfect. Embrace your imperfections. They make you unique.
  3. Care for your physical health: Exercising, eating healthy, and maintaining good hygiene aren’t just about looking good. They showcase a respect for your own body.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. Learn from them instead of beating yourself up.
  5. Nurture your inner growth: Invest in activities that help you grow – learn a new skill, walk in nature, meditate, or join a hobby class.

Remember, it’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority—it’s necessary. In the end, a healthy relationship is composed of two healthy individuals.

The Role of Trust and Honesty in a Successful Partnership

Trust and honesty form the backbone of any successful relationship. Without them, your partnership can feel insecure, unstable, and strained. But cultivating these essential elements isn’t always as straightforward as it might seem.

Transparency breeds trust. When each partner is open, honest and genuine with their feelings and intentions, it forms a secure foundation. You aren’t left guessing whether your partner’s actions match their words – because their openness makes it apparent.

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” – Wm. Paul Young

Practicing honesty also calls for courage. It means dealing squarely with tough topics instead of sidestepping them. It’s about voicing concerns, confessing mistakes, and discussing sensitive topics – no small feat, but well worth the effort.

Building Trust and Honesty in Your Relationship

So, how do we create an environment of trust and honesty? Glad you asked! Here are some key steps:

  1. Communicate openly and often: Share your feelings, fears, ambitions, and uncertainties. This isn’t a one-off conversation, but a continuous process that requires patience and practice.
  2. Show vulnerability: Let your guard down and allow your partner to see the ‘real’ you. This can be remarkably bonding, fostering both empathy and intimacy.
  3. Set clear expectations: Outline your relationship goals and values early on. Make sure you both understand, agree, and are willing to work towards the same objectives.
  4. Follow through: Consistent actions that reflect your words endorse your integrity and authenticity, improving his confidence in you.

Rebuilding Trust and Honesty

But what if trust has been eroded? Is it possible to rebuild it? Yes! Broken trust doesn’t mean a broken relationship, but it certainly means investing time and energy in repair.

  • Talk it out: Whenever trust is broken, direct conversation is crucial. Understand what went wrong and how it made each partner feel.
  • Apologize genuinely: An apology is the first step towards mending mistrust. Ensure it’s sincere and reflects your understanding of the mistake.
  • Take responsibility: Admitting your mistake and committing to avoid repeating it, displays your willingness to change for the betterment of the relationship.
  • Give it time: Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort. It demands constant reassurances and concrete actions that reflect change.

Trust and honesty are not just essential, they’re fundamental to a healthy, loving relationship. Cultivating and maintaining them, essentially, guarantees a strong, fulfilling partnership.

free relationship advice

Exploring the Power Dynamics in Relationships: Equality vs. Traditional Roles

Power dynamics play a pivotal role in relationships. Often, one partner takes the lead in certain aspects, while the other takes a backseat. It’s perfectly normal, and when balanced, leads to a harmonious relationship.

The trick is finding balance, and that’s where the idea of traditional roles and equality comes in. In the traditional setup, one partner is the decision maker, while the other is more subservient. However, the world is rapidly changing and many relationships now follow a paradigm of equality, where both partners share power and make decisions together.

The dynamic you choose depends on your personal preferences, upbringing, and beliefs. Regardless of the power dynamic you prefer, the key is to maintain respect. Each partner’s views, feelings, and needs have to be considered equally.

For those who lean toward an equal power dynamic, here are some tips:

  • Keep open lines of communication in place to express your expectations and needs.
  • Ensure both partners equally contribute in making decisions to prevent one person from feeling overpowered or dismissed.
  • Respect your partner’s viewpoint even if it’s not in line with yours.
  • Share responsibilities. Whether it’s finances, household chores, or parenting, make it a team effort.

On the other hand, if you relate to traditional roles, it doesn’t mean there’s a power imbalance. To ensure the ‘leading’ partner doesn’t breach the respect threshold, try these ideas:

  1. Ensure the leadership role doesn’t translate into authoritative behavior.
  2. Consider both people’s opinions when making decisions.
  3. Value the supportive parther’s role without undermining it.
  4. Encourage and appreciate one another’s contributions.

Remember, a relationship is a partnership where you support each other, learn and grow together. Whether you prefer traditional roles or equality, the respect and understanding between the two of you should be the building blocks of your relationship.

Free Relationship Advice: Adapt to Transitions in Your Relationship

Change is the one constant in life that we can always expect. But what about when change infiltrates your relationship? Transitions are inevitable, from changes in jobs, moving to a new city, or even shifts in personal growth. Navigating these altering waves not only tests the integrity of your relationship but provides a unique opportunity to deepen your bond and impress new strengths into your partnership.

But here’s the catch – change can be hard. It can challenge long-established dynamics and routines. It forces us into unfamiliar territories and sometimes, that can be downright uncomfortable. So, how do you ride this wave together rather than allowing it to drive a wedge between you?

Hint: It’s all about acceptance, adaptation, and mutual support.

First, embracing change starts with acceptance. In the face of a transition, it’s easy to resist or deny it. But truthfully, this only makes the process harder. Acceptance isn’t about surrendering or giving up, rather it’s about acknowledging the reality, understanding that it’s okay to feel unsure, and embarking on this journey with an open mind.

Adapting with Change

Then comes adaptation. Life doesn’t come with a manual, so there’s no perfect recipe for navigating change. However, flexibility in attitude, mindset, and actions can make the process more manageable. It involves stepping out of your comfort zone, trying out new routines, and making adjustments as necessary. Remember, adaptation is a journey not a destination. Don’t rush the process, give each other ample space and time to adjust.

  • Mutual support is your lifeline: It’s these times when you truly need each other. Your relationship can be your support network, your safe haven from the storm of change. Encourage each other, have patience, and check in frequently with each other’s emotions and thoughts.
  • Proactive communication is key: Dialogue can significantly ease the adaptation process. Ensure to keep lines of communication open. Express your concerns, hopes and expectations regarding the change.
  • Consider seeking professional help: If change seems overwhelming, there’s no harm in seeking external guidance from a relationship counselor or coach. They can provide strategies to cope with change and reinforce your relationship’s resilience.

A relationship that can embrace change and come out even stronger is a testament to the bond you share. Transitions, after all, are another chapter in your shared story, a chance to grow together and deepen your understanding of each other. So, navigate these changing tides together, and remember – the only way to get through change is to go through it, hand in hand.

The Role of Independence in a Healthy Relationship

Independence, with a focus on personal space and freedom, plays a dynamic role in any healthy relationship.

Understanding Independence in a Relationship

What does it mean to be independent in a relationship? Fundamentally, it refers to the idea that you and your partner are not dependent or overly reliant on each other to feel complete or fulfilled. Instead, you see yourselves as two individuals with your own distinct identities, interests, ambitions, and abilities, while at the same time, maintaining a commitment to share your lives together.

Maintaining independence doesn’t diminish the love in the relationship; instead, it enriches it by fostering mutual respect and appreciation. Each person can stand alone but chooses to stand together – that’s the beauty of independence in a strong bond.

Remember, the strength of a relationship doesn’t come from the ‘need’ of each other; it comes from the ‘want’ for each other.

Why Does Independence Matter in a Relationship?

Independence in a relationship matters for several reasons:

  1. It facilitates personal growth: Independence allows both parties in a relationship to continue developing their identity and enrich their individual lives.
  2. It encourages healthy dependency: Independence fosters a balanced level of dependency where both are supportive without being excessively reliant on each other.
  3. It reduces pressure and strain: By being independent, couples can effectively manage their expectations, significantly reducing unnecessary pressure, conflict, and disappointment.
  4. It cultivates respect and understanding: Recognizing and respecting each other’s independence fosters deeper understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities each person brings into the relationship.
  5. It promotes longevity: Relationships often thrive when both partners maintain a sense of self, leading to a more rewarding, genuine, and long-lasting partnership.

How to Foster Independence in Your Relationship

Here’s how to foster independence in your relationship:

  • Have personal goals and pursue them: Don’t lose sight of your personal aspirations just because you are in a relationship.
  • Enjoy personal time: Spend some time doing things you love alone or with other friends. This helps maintain your identity outside of your relationship.
  • Encourage and support your partner’s interests: It’s important to show interest and encourage your partner to pursue their passions and hobbies.
  • Practice effective communication: Talk about your need for independence in a gentle and understanding way with your partner.

The role of independence in a healthy relationship is quintessential. It doesn’t signify a lack of love, but rather affirms it. It’s about co-existence, not co-dependence. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch your relationship thrive.

Free Relationship Advice for Women: Wrapping Up

This journey through world of relationships has led to many revelations from learning to communicate effectively, mastering active listening, navigating conflicts maturely, to understanding the importance of self-love, trust, and honesty. We dug into what makes a relationship successful.

As part of my free relationship advice, let’s pause and remember the key takeaways presented here:

  • Keep communication open and honest: Be open-minded, and truthfully express your feelings and concerns to your partner.
  • Active Listening is key: Consider and give real attention to his words, demonstrating interest and empathy.
  • Facing Conflicts with Maturity: Realize that disagreements are natural and the approach of resolving them amicably strengthens the bond.
  • Balance work and love life: Juggling career and relationships is not easy, yet essential. Prioritize your time and effort in order to maintain a balance.
  • Set healthy boundaries: Develop boundaries in your relationship that protect and honor your individuality.
  • Embrace self-love: Understand the value of loving yourself first. It will empower you, bringing positive vibes into the relationship.
  • Trust and Honesty: These are fundamental to the backbone of a successful partnership. Foster transparency and cultivate trust in your relationship.
  • Equality matters: Advocate for equality in your relationship to ensure mutual respect, shared responsibilities, and power dynamics and build a healthier and happier partnership.
  • Embrace change and adapt: Changes are inevitable, and adapting to them will prepare your relationship for long term stability.
  • Honor Independence: Encourage individual interests and activities. A healthy dose of independence enhances mutual growth and respect.

A strong and meaningful relationship involves two individuals who understand, respect, and love each other’s uniquenesses. Be ready to put hard work, dedication, and a lot of love into your relationships. Through this, you will pave the path for a robust romantic relationship and build strong bonds in every facet of your life.

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Are You a Clingy Girlfriend? 6 Behaviors to Avoid

Are You a Clingy Girlfriend? 6 Behaviors to Avoid

Build a Great Relationship, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

How to Not be a Clingy Girlfriend

Jessica contacted me and asked if she was becoming that clingy girlfriend after three months of dating.

She said her Zeus was pulling away and not responding to her texts like he used to. Jess said her friends are wondering why she is acting so weird around this guy – like she lost all sense of herself.

She knew she was a hot mess but didn’t know what to do about it.

Jessica had become a clingy girlfriend!

Being clingy is a subjective quality. One man might be OK with ‘clingyness.’ While another will feel cooped up. That’s why it’s important to know what type of man you are with.

I solve this issue in my best seller Manimals: Understanding Different Types of Men and How to Date Them.

For most men go ahead and cling one day but ‘uncling’ the next. Run to your social life for a weekend and then run back to him. This is the best of worlds for both of you.

He loves the independence he gets. He also loves the mystery and excitement of missing you. You, on the other hand, get a loyal boyfriend that keeps desiring your ass!

So gauge your man and keep him guessing by adjusting your level of clinginess. Of course, this can only be accomplished by a high-value woman who has a life outside of her man.

Let’s first identify the clingy girlfriend signs and then solve the issue.

Clingy Girlfriend Signs

Look at your phone

how to not be a clingy girlfriend

Too much of this is not good!

Do you see one of his texts to your three? Are his texts one sentence to your paragraphs? How much time does he take to respond compared to how much time you take? And who always texts last?

Of course, these are all rhetorical questions.

If the ratio is disproportionate then you have become, or are becoming, a clingy girlfriend.

Is he your hobby?

Have hobbies of your own. Participate in his. And by all means have a hobby together.

But never make him your hobby!

This is what women do because it’s natural for you. But it kills a relationship. Men need to feel like they have some sort of freedom even when they have been married for ten years and have three kids.

I call this ‘perceived freedom.’ Give it to him! No, we are not talking freedom to go to Vegas for a week. We are talking about letting the poor man have a life outside of yours – Every now and then.

Last year my buddy Ted couldn’t even grab a drink with me because his wife would not let him. I hadn’t seen him in two years. She was so damn clingy and insecure that it wasn’t worth it for Ted to say hi to me over a couple of beers.

Really?

Guess what? They are separated as we speak. Ted couldn’t take it anymore.

Tell me about your social life

If your answer is that you have none outside of his, then, Houston, we have a clingy girlfriend problem.

how to stop being a clingy girlfriend

Cling to your friends and family!

I know that you have no time and that you are crazy busy at work blah, blah, blah.

I’m not buying it. What matters is your friends and family in my book. Boyfriends are in second place. Husbands are family so they count but I still put them on equal footing with your close friends.

Close friends and family will always be there. Boyfriends and husbands? I give less than a 50/50 shot of being there to the end unless you follow my advice – and so far I only have a quarter million who do 🙂

Your social life keeps you busy outside of your relationship. It keeps you experimenting with new things that you can share with him. You become more interesting and mysterious which he likes. And, by default, you can’t make him your hobby because you have friends to see and places to be!

Who are you around him?

Tell me, are you the same person that your friends and family know and love around your significant other?

In fact, don’t answer – I want your friends to answer for you. What would they say? Is that funny, cool and self-confident woman in the house around Johnny? Or has she left the room because she doesn’t believe Johnny would like her?

If a woman changes her persona to fit what she believes her man would like to see, then she is on her way to becoming a clingy girlfriend mess that he will never take to.

You’re always suspicious

If you are weary of him trying to pick up a woman every time he is with his friends you are a clingy girlfriend. Your time would be better spent building strong memories or pennies in the jar as I like to call them.

Do this and there will never be a woman who can steal him from you! When I interview elderly couples that have remained together, I’m amazed at the power of all their shared experiences. There is no way someone else could replace so many memories. Their relationship becomes bullet-proof.

Do you get angry when he wants to be with his friends?

That’s a quick way to become clingy to a man and get dumped. Guys are fearful of three things when entering a relationship. Neutralize these and you are home free!

Will she take my money?
Will she take all my friends away?
Will this be the last woman I ever sleep with?

*I am not always proud of my gender, but these are the facts.

Watch as I hammer this point home with world renowned Dr. Helen Fisher in NYC.

How to not be a Clingy Girlfriend

Text him 50% less than he texts you.
Text like he does – short and to the point. Then, make sure he is the one texting last.

Pursue your hobbies and passions full speed ahead!
Make them a priority not him. The more that he sees that he is not your #1 priority the more his willingness to try harder will kick in. It’s a DNA thing and it will never change!

Keep a vibrant social life.
The more friends that you have the more confident you become because they push you to live outside your comfort zone. Your time becomes valuable and you have options if your man goes rogue.

Always be yourself.
If he doesn’t love you just the way you are then dump his lame ass! He signed up for you and not just the best parts of you. If you are a confident woman that makes you high-value, so there is no reason to change if he doesn’t like the woman he sees. The only change needed is him!

Pile up those pennies!
Forget becoming suspicious about ‘someone else.’ If he wants to have an affair there is not much you can do to stop him. Instead, concentrate on building those memories and your relationship will be bulletproof.

Let him go to his friends.
In fact, encourage him to go. Be nice about it. Then, look your hottest and head out with your friends prior to him leaving and watch what happens next. Your pink smartphone is going to light up!

Clingy Girlfriend Conclusion

Don’t put the cart before the horse! Men are secondary – the furry prize on the top shelf. They come after you have discovered who you are and what you stand for. They come after your confidence and self-esteem have been built up and your career and financials are in place.

Build Yourself and He Will Come!

This phrase sits proudly at the top of my website for a reason.

Cling safely my friends!

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Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you’ll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They’re added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.

Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!

To learn more about it, click here. To purchase the book, click one of the buttons below.

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