Texting is the way most of us communicate today. I hear from you every day about how you’re just getting back into the dating scene and texting a man intimidates you! Below are a few of the pros and cons of texting men.
Pros of Texting in a Relationship
- Texting does not require you to be fast on your feet with responses – wittiness can come because you have time to respond, whereas face-to-face, you are left with a dry conversation if the wit doesn’t come
- Nervousness doesn’t come through in a text, so sweaty palms, shaky hands, a quivering voice can go unnoticed when you type out a message
- When you practice ‘texting similarity’ with a guy, he perceives you as being in sync and your relationship is more harmonious
- You can be flirtatious in between dates, keeping things a little hot
- A quick “I love you” or “Just thinking about you” text during the day can remind someone you care about them
- Texting can be a quick response if you cannot talk to someone at that moment but want them to know you’re aware they’re trying to contact you
- When you’re separated by distance, texting can be an inexpensive and quick way to stay in touch
- Women use texting to apologize, work out problems or bring up issues to be dealt with later
Cons of Texting in Relationships
- You might find yourself in relationship texting maintenance mode – the more texts sent, the more that are expected
- You cannot decipher the mood of the text, misunderstandings occur easily
- Texting can replace face-to-face contact if it is more comfortable, leading to a lack of true time spent together
- Heavy texting is associated with both men and women feeling dissatisfied with their relationship
- You can find chemistry in texting that then does not exist in person
- It is easy to over analyze both the texts you send and those you receive – putting more than necessary weight on the placement or use of exclamation points, capital letters, etc.
- You don’t have the advantage of the use of body language to accentuate your message
- Your own texting behavior can place labels on you – you’re too needy, you’re too quick or slow to respond, you can’t spell, your language skills are lacking, etc.
- You can get caught up in an endless cycle wondering when it will end and who will finally end it
- You can stay at a level of casualness in a relationship where it neither declines or advances but just remains status quo
- Relationships which rely heavily on texting can be easier to end quickly because there is a lack of intimacy you would only gain spending time together in person
- Overuse of technology is leading people to be unable to express emotions in person – they don’t know how because they spend all of their time in emotionless texts and emails versus one-on-one communications where you can see the outcome of what you say or do to someone
- Men use texting to distance themselves in a relationship or disengage from deeper intimacy
- Texting is a written form of communication which can be recalled later, including in legal battles
- Texting is not a good way to deepen a relationship – that requires face-to-face time where intimacy can be built
- Too much texting can make you look needy or clingy – stalkerish even
- Texts can be edited and therefore can be modified from the original thought – whereas a phone call is out there – you can’t take your words back – so texts can be ‘false’ messages, not true from the heart
- You don’t get to know the ‘real’ person, but the version of themselves that they want to send via text – i.e. they can be funnier, seem more relaxed than they are in person
At the core of every amazing relationship, and every great text, is a conversation built out of challenging the other person. In your case, the guy you like.
That demands a bit of an explanation. To get this explanation, and get tons of examples, get my #1 best selling book called Power Texting Men today!
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.