2 Tips to Avoid the Friend Zone!
Avoiding the friend zone is easy if you do your homework.
I recently got an interesting and common email from a reader:
I don’t seem to have trouble getting dates and most guys who go out with me ask me out on a second or third date. My biggest problem is that the ones I REALLY like tend to put me in the ‘friend zone’ even if they are initially attracted to me and pursue me. Obviously, I’m doing something wrong here.- Cindi
I get many emails like this. When women go out with men they don’t really like, they tend to be themselves. They are cool in the situation, opinionated, and they challenge what is being said or offered. They show restraint when it comes to any sexual aggression.
This is all good because it piques a man’s interest. However, when a stunningly handsome guy pulls up in a BMW, women turn into these alien-like creatures their friends wouldn’t even recognize! What happens next is a chain of events that slowly and methodically erodes the attraction they both wanted.
How You End Up in the Friend Zone
To attract a man, you need to understand this – a man wants to be challenged. He wants you to engage him in new patterns of thinking. The man wants to be enlightened and hear her side on the subject at hand.
He also wants to hear about her interests and what her specialties are. If her only interests are reality shows and video games, it’s over. He is rooting for her, but she doesn’t come through because she is in such awe of him, that she agrees with everything he says. Sometimes this includes sex.
This is a turn off for a man and instead of feeling attracted towards her, he rejects her, or, if they work together or have mutual friends, he will put her in the friend zone.
BMW boy doesn’t want a yes girl, he has those already. This woman, unfortunately, turns into a Rest Stop and not a Keeper. Guess what happens next? Yup, he opens his file and places her into the dreaded friend zone.
Does this happen to you? I am going to offer you two suggestions to turn off this deer in the headlights response and have compelling subjects to discuss.
Avoid the Friend Zone! Desensitize by Practicing
Do this in your everyday life. If you have read The Social Tigress, you know you should be on the hunt for available men in your everyday life and not just during your allocated social weekend time. This should allow you to engage five or more men a week.
Challenge these men with witty comments and engage in conversation beyond just saying hi. Challenge that good looking barista at Starbucks. When you are out with your friends and feeling confident, challenge that good looking waiter or bartender.
See a cute guy in the elevator at work? Go for it. Say things like, “Great tie, I love how it matches your suit, but I would have gone with green.” You will love how he responds to your challenging comment and you might even get a date!
The more attractive men you can engage in your everyday life, the better. The pressure is off and you can be yourself. Then, next time you are on a date with an attractive man, you will be conditioned to stay calm and act like your awesome self.
Fill your life with experiences
The more experiences the better. Experiences make you an interesting person – another trait men desire. By having lots of life experiences, you will always have something compelling to share. This will help you avoid becoming the yes girl because you will always have something to say and stories to tell.
Avoid the friend zone by following the two tips above and your success with men will be rewarded! For more tips on attracting men and avoiding the friend zone read chapter 12 in my best seller Love is in The Mouse.