Texts to Get Your Ex Back
There are texts to get your ex-boyfriend back and texts that will chase him further away. The power is in knowing which is which!
Before you get excited about texts to get your ex back, we need to have a one-on-one chat about the timing of these texts.
Start with Zero Texts
Yes, that’s right. I will first tell you not to text your ex, especially if you’ve been texting him non-stop since your breakup.
It doesn’t matter if your texts begged him to come back or berated him for leaving. It’s time to stop. The first lesson in texts to get your ex-boyfriend back is to send no texts.
Why Everyone Starts with No Contact
I’m not the only dating coach to suggest no contact, but I have a unique spin on it compared to my competition. You’ll learn more about it in a few moments.
All dating coaches begin by applying a no-contact rule for a couple of good reasons.
The first is that when a man breaks up with you, he has negative feelings about you and the relationship. Every text you send, begging or angry, only serves to confirm his negative emotions.
Next, he needs to miss you again and want you back. He can’t miss you if you’re constantly texting him.
So, as much as it stinks, you must stop texting, calling, and emailing him immediately. Let him have time to overcome the negativity and miss you. Without allowing that time, nothing good will happen. There are no texts to get your ex-boyfriend back without implementing no-contact first.
Texts to Get Your Ex Back | No Contact with a Twist
I mentioned that my version of the no-contact rule is different. Within the first couple weeks of the breakup, or as soon as you can if that amount of time has passed, you break the no-contact rule by sending him, via snail mail, a hand-written letter.
In this letter, you very briefly tell him goodbye, but you also put in one fond memory. The goodbye letter goes something like this:
I wanted to send a formal goodbye. Maybe for my own closure or because I felt you deserved a better self-off than how we ended things last week.
I will miss apple-picking with you at Lynd’s and the warm cider and donuts we enjoyed on the tailgate of your truck. [insert your memory]
For many men, this letter is a sucker punch to the gut. You just broke up with him. That isn’t how it’s supposed to work, at least not in his mind!
After you send the letter, in an envelope, with a stamp, you break contact again until it’s time for the next connection.
Slipping In and Slipping Out
The second time you break no contact, you do so with what I like to call Slip in/Slip out. That’s what the texts you’re about to discover are about.
In this instance, you’re slipping into his life with a fun or meaningful text; then you’re slipping back out again, maintaining silence until the next.
These texts accomplish the same thing as the letter. They tweak a fond memory you shared with your ex and help him recognize when he’s missing you.
Texts to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back | Why This Works
The letter and slip in/slip out work because they turn the breakup upside down. He broke up with you, but now you’re breaking up with him, or at least indicating that you may be moving on without him.
Generally, when a man breaks up, he considers the ex-girlfriend to be his backup plan. He’s going off to sow some wild oats, but when he’s done, you’ll be waiting there for him, still curled up in the fetal position with a quart of Ben and Jerry’s.
But you send the letter and the texts that indicate that’s not what you’re doing. Now, he’s worried because his backup plan is failing. He’s now at risk of having nobody if he doesn’t snap to attention.
There’s One Caveat
There is one thing that must be present for these to work: history. If your relationship was less than three or four months old, you have little chance of getting him back, regardless of what you do.
Because those beautiful memories you would typically use to tweak his emotions aren’t there. Even if you’ve gone apple picking and to a concert, it’s not enough. Yes, you have a couple of memories to text him about, but they won’t stir other memories of things you’ve done together.
These points of contact aim to help him miss you by stirring his memories of all the great things you shared. If those things don’t exist, they won’t work.
But let’s assume you have those memories and the history of making this work. I think it’s time for the three texts to get your ex-boyfriend back.
Texts to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back #1: The “I’m Moving On” Text
Each point of contact you initiate helps you get your ex back indirectly. Your methods of texting him with begging or anger were direct, and they don’t work, as you’ve already discovered.
Your friends are encouraging you to text him everything, including how much you love him, how this was all your fault (which isn’t true), and everything he did wrong in the relationship. All your anger and sadness should flow straight off to him.
But how’s that working so far? It isn’t! That’s the direct method I mentioned. Why not try it my way? Remember, I am a guy, so I know a thing or two about how men react!
Any negative text like those mentioned above will either get deleted without being read, or he’ll read it, roll his eyes, and return to whatever he was doing, thankful that he ditched you when he did.
Texts to Get Your Ex Back | He Won’t Be Expecting This Message
When you text your ex, you do so with complete confidence, even if you don’t quite feel it yet. There is no whining, begging, or blaming. Instead, you send this I’m moving on text. This text to get your ex-boyfriend back is part two of the one-two punch you initiated with the letter.
Any man worth getting back reads this text and is confused but intrigued. He initiated the breakup because he wanted his freedom, to return to another ex, or to see what he could find that might be better.
Remember, you’re his backup plan, but after receiving the letter and these texts, he’s not so sure.
He’s confused and intrigued.
This breakup was his idea. He wanted his freedom, an ex, or some other intangible he thought he would gain by setting you aside.
He’s sure you’re sitting there, crying into your big bowl of ice cream, waiting for him to grace you with his presence again.
Your status in his mind went from being part of his fallback plan to hoping he could win you back after his stupidity. Whether you want to reconcile remains to be seen! You aren’t sending him the angry, bitter messages any longer; you’re sending see you lata.
Now, he’s wondering if this whole breakup idea was a good one. He’s concluding that it wasn’t.
Texts to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back | The Moving on Text
Without further ado, here are a couple of examples of this type of text:
“Hey, Jeff. I’m going surfing next month, and I need my board. Please stick it on the porch so I can grab it. Thanks!”
He receives this text and immediately wonders who you’re going surfing with. Have you found another guy?
Then, he thinks, “But that was our thing!” and “Why isn’t she still upset and sad about our breakup?”
The language of the text is important too. You aren’t asking him if you can pick up your surfboard. You’re telling him you’re picking it up and asking him to leave it out, so you don’t need to see him to do so.
This is confident, strong, and impactful!
“Hi, Joe! What was the name of the apple orchard we visited last year? I’m going in a couple of weeks, and I can’t remember.”
“What was the name of that hotel in Aruba? I’m planning a trip, and I can’t seem to recall.”
You get the idea.
The general structure is:
Salutation; ask a question related to a memory; a vague statement on why you need the information.
Note that your text doesn’t include when you are stopping by. Nor does it have any date or time for your upcoming adventure. This means he can’t predict when to be there to happen to run into you.
These texts come from a confident woman who knows what she wants and is going after it. She isn’t sitting around pining away for some man. She’s living life and living it large!
A less confident woman sends a text like this:
“Please, Gregg. I miss you so much! Can we just grab a drink soon to talk?”
Texts to Get Him Back #2: The “Remember” Text
The remember text should be used later in the breakup and comes after the letter and moving-on text. Two to three weeks should pass between the last text and this one.
By now, he’s tested the singles waters, and it wasn’t as great as he imagined. Women aren’t falling over themselves to date him, and he might be missing you.
This text leverages something powerful – positive memories. Remember when I said he had negative feelings about you and the breakup? You’ve given him time to move past them and tweaked him a bit with the first two points of contact.
Positive memories are like shiny pennies in a jar. You collect them over time, and they add up to something great.
You put pennies into your relationship jar by doing things together. They come from vacations, walks on a calm winter morning, strolling on the beach while watching the waves crash in, and sharing challenging times.
When he reads this text, he gets a shot of endorphins because of the memories.
“Gregg, It’s apple season again! I stopped by Lynds yesterday and got cider for Mom. I smiled and laughed at the memory of our time there last year.”
“Joe, I was just looking out the window at the gentle rain and remembering the time we went out and danced in the rain together. It put a smile on my face for sure!”
“Adam, Today’s snowfall reminded me of my first skiing experience last winter, at the expense of your forearm, which, as I recall, I nearly ripped off trying to stay on my feet! It truly made me smile.”
By reminding him of these fond memories, you’re hitting him hard. You’re forcing him to recall good times together and helping him miss you.
Job well done!
Text Your Ex Back #3: The “Help Me” Text
If you haven’t gotten back together yet, this text should come much later, maybe as many as three months after the breakup.
Before I share this text with you, you must understand one thing about men. They show their love for you by doing and fixing things for you.
Many women miss this cue, waiting for three words many men will infrequently use, “I love you.” Yes, some men say it more than others, but all men show their love by doing and fixing.
Therefore, when you reach out and ask for help, you’re tweaking his desire to show his love for you. Fixing something for you, even this far after the breakup is intriguing and may even cause him to question the breakup.
For him, it’s something he knows he can get right, and he’s pretty sure by now that he’s screwed up everything else. But, if he can do what you’re asking of him, he’s willing and ready!
“Justin, long time, huh? A quick question. I’m trying to install a new printer, and I can’t figure out how to make it talk to my computer. You’re great at this stuff. Can I call and ask you a few questions?”
Asking him to help you works for him because he can move past some of the guilt he feels over breaking up with you months ago.
This text works because he’s feeling guilty over breaking up with you. It gives him the opening he needs to consider reconciling and coming back.
This type of text works because it creates a challenge in what you didn’t say. He’s expecting this:
Oh, Justin, I miss you so much!
Hey Justin, let’s get together!
Justin, can you just come over and fix it for me?
You asked him to tell you how to fix it, and you move on.
Texts to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back
Timing is everything with these texts to get your ex back.
The goodbye letter delivered the first sucker punch, and when you follow it up with the I’m moving on text, it’s punch number two.
Then, you remind him of a great memory again with the second text, and you deliver the final blow by asking him to help you.
But Gregg, What am I Doing in Between?
In between sending these texts, I encourage you to visit my other website, We Can Get Your Ex Back, and read my new book, Ex Back: The Five-Step Process to Get Him Back. You’ll find links below for both!
There, you’ll find five steps to get him back. These steps are carefully researched and proven. They include everything you need to know and do to get your ex back.
Do You Want Your Ex Back? Try These Five Proven Steps!
Do you want to get your ex back?
Check out this proven Five Step Process to Get Him Back! Work your way through these five steps and:
- Feel less emotional
- Figure out what happened to end the relationship
- Rebuild your confidence
- Toy with his psyche
- Plan your meeting with him
As you’re reading, many men come back months later. Taking these five steps helps guarantee that your new relationship will be a success!
This Five Step Process to get your ex back is a proven way to accomplish your goal of reconciling with your ex! Inside, you'll work through five very specific steps, each designed to move you one step closer to that desired reconciliation.
Step One helps you rein in your emotions so you can think logically.
Step Two guides you through assessing the relationship and breakup through a new lens.
In Step Three, you work on rebuilding your confidence.
With Step Four, you toy with his psyche.
In Step Five, you prepare to meet your ex again.