4 Questions to ask Yourself Before You Commit

4 Questions to ask Yourself Before You Commit

How do you know if someone is right for you? Sure you’re attracted to him, and you get along great, but if you commit to a relationship you are closing yourself from possibly meeting Mr. Right. If you just aren’t there yet, it’s probably best to keep things casual for now and keep you options open.

Is He Your Friend?

It’s true. There is no romantic relationship without that physical, chemical spark. But if you ask happily married couples what their secret is, chances are they will say they married their best friend. When you think back on past failed relationship, chances are you were lovers but never really friends. Think of the qualities you look for in a friend — shared interests and values, mutual respect and trust, appreciation for one another, compatible personalities, and the ability to feel comfortable and happy when you’re just hanging out, spending lots of time together. Do you have that? You may be into him physically, but you can’t be hot and heavy all of time (even if you want to). He may be a good lover, but when it comes down to it, he should be a good friend too.

Does He Communicate?

In any good relationship, you must be open and honest with each other. Conversation by nature is a give and take, back and forth kind of thing! If he is normally a Chatty Charles but shuts down when it comes to certain topics, or if he sits there silently scowling while you are talking, it may be time to wonder why.

He should be someone you can talk openly and honestly with about the important stuff without worrying about whether he is judging you or withholding information. You should trust him with your secrets and he should trust you with his.

On a related note, are your conversations stimulating or do you find yourself bored and yawning, staring into his dreamy eyes? Just like you click in the bedroom, the two of you need to click conversationally. Sure, it’s nice to enjoy some quiet time together now and then, but in the end, you don’t want to be stuck in a marriage with someone who will not or cannot communicate.

Do You Really Know Him?

Trust and friendship take time. You may really want to have a boyfriend or you may really want to be engaged, but make sure you really know the guy before you rush into anything. Don’t let your biological clock blind you! Do you know what he wants for the future (besides you)?

It’s important to make sure you are both on the same page with your relationship. I have more than one friend who married and divorced because one wanted kids and the other did not. Another reason why open and honest communication is so important!

A great way to really get to know someone is to meet his family. There is a reason people traditionally “meet the parents” before getting married — It just makes sense! His upbringing has set the foundation for who he is as an adult, and can really be en eye opener. Spend some time with his parents and siblings, and observe him closely. How does he treat them? How do they treat him? What is the family dynamic? Do you like what you see?

Does He Love You?

You know how you feel about him, and it should be obvious how he feels about you. It does not matter if he says he loves you a hundred times a day or not at all. We women wear our hearts on our sleeves but men are different. They show their love through their actions. Is he proud to have you by his side? Is he protective of you? Is he generous? Does he treat you with kindness and respect? One thing you need to understand is how men love. These actions cannot be faked. When you know, you know. There are lots of men in the dating pool. Don’t settle for anything less than love.

Hopefully your answers to these four questions will give you some clarity when it comes to making the decision to finally commit to one man. By now, you should be on your way to becoming an exclusive couple, or staying open to the possibility of finding your one and only one day soon!

Navigating Love: Proven Strategies to Dodge the Friend Zone with a Guy

Navigating Love: Proven Strategies to Dodge the Friend Zone with a Guy

The ‘friend zone’ is a situation where one person in a platonic relationship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It’s a complex psychological phenomenon rooted in human social behaviors and interpersonal relationships.

People tend to seek out relationships where the benefits outweigh the costs. When one person perceives the relationship as platonic and the other as potentially romantic, there’s an imbalance in perceived benefits and costs, leading to the friend zone.

Attachment styles also play a significant role in the friend zone. When you have a secure attachment style, you are more likely to express your feelings openly and directly, reducing the chances of miscommunication and mismatched expectations. On the other hand, if you have an avoidant or anxious attachment style, you may struggle to communicate your romantic interest, increasing the likelihood of landing in the friend zone.

Another psychological aspect of the friend zone involves the principle of least interest, which means the person who is less emotionally invested in the relationship has more power. If one person is more interested in deepening the relationship than the other, they may find themselves in the friend zone.

The friend zone can also be influenced by a fear of rejection. If you’re afraid of being rejected, you may not express your true feelings, leading to a mismatch of intentions and desire, which can keep you ‘stuck’ in the friend zone.

Social norms can also have an impact. Society often expects men to make the first move in romantic relationships. If a woman is interested in a man but waits for him to express his feelings first, she may inadvertently place him in the friend zone.

How can you avoid the friend zone?

friend zone

Recognizing the Signs: Are You in the Friend Zone?

Before we look into how to avoid the friend zone, it might be a good idea to see if that’s where you are.

If you find that he only reaches out to you to vent his frustrations or chat about personal matters but never initiates plans for romantic or intimate dates, it’s a sign you might be in the friend zone. When he starts to discuss his potential love interests with you or seeks your advice on dating matters, it could be a clear indication you are friend-zoned.

Another good way to gauge your status in a relationship is by paying attention to the language a guy uses while referring to you. If he uses phrases like “buddy”, “pal”, or “good friend”, it’s a clue to your likely position in the friend zone. It’s important to be aware of these signs before you start working on getting out of it.

Alright, now we know where you might stand. Let’s move on to exploring how you can prevent landing in the friend zone with a guy of your interest. Shifting gears from friendship to potential romance takes careful thought and strategy. But fear not! By being proactive, genuine, and respectful, you can shape a different kind of relationship.

Avoiding Pitfalls: Common Mistakes that Land You in the Friend Zone

First things first, understanding the mistakes that unintentionally slide you into the friend zone is key. If you’ve found yourself neck-deep in a friendly relationship you’d rather evolve romantically, chances are you’re offering friendship signals instead of romance signals. So, let’s delve into these common errors.

Being Too Passive

Often, you might hold off expressing your interest because you’re afraid of rejection or ruining the friendship. The longer you wait to make your intentions clear, the more likelihood you have of being just a friend in their eyes. However, approaching with honesty and courage is a must, but be sure to apply felt discretion to not come off too strongly.

Over Availability

While, it’s amazing to be a supportive friend who’s always there, excessive availability can create a comfort zone where the other person knows they can rely on you, like a friend. To avoid this, try to establish boundaries, prioritizing your own time and interest. Trust me, a little mystery never hurt anyone and could, in fact, stimulate interest.

Acting Like a ‘Nice Guy’

Beware of the ‘too nice’ trap! You might think that being impeccable, agreeable, and doing whatever pleases the other person will earn you romantic points. Unfortunately, this lack of self-affirmation often leads to the friend zone. Remember, it’s desirable to show respect and kindness, but suppressing your opinion or needs for the sake of pleasing others might only communicate that you’re more of a friend than a potential romantic partner.

Failing to Spark Romantic Interest

Last but definitely not least, sparking romantic interest involves more than just physical attraction or a shared passion for something. There must be an emotional connection, coupled with thrill, excitement, and a hint of unpredictability. Creating a romantic atmosphere can be as simple as initiating a deeper conversation or planning a fun, exciting outing that breaks the usual friend-like pattern.

To save yourself from the friend zone, remember to communicate your intentions early, maintain a certain level of unavailability, avoid being too agreeable, and continuously strive to stir up romantic interest.

friend zone

Creating a Game Plan: Setting Your Sights Beyond the Friend Zone

To safely navigate out of the friend zone, you’ll need a well thought out game plan. This should go beyond just hanging out with your male friend and hoping that something will spark between the two of you. However, keep in mind that everyone is unique, so customizing your approach might be necessary based on the dynamics of your friendship.

Firstly, understand that you need to change the current dynamic between you two to open new horizons.

Start by making yourself slightly less available. This doesn’t mean you should ignore him or cut him out drastically, but merely create a sense of intrigue — the curiosity of why you’re less available might make him see you in new light.

Additionally, try to create shared experiences that don’t fit the ‘just friends’ mold. This might mean going for an adventurous hike, attending a concert of a band you both love, or watching a romantic movie together. The goal is to create situations that stimulate non-friend-zone feelings.

Don’t forget to open up emotionally as well. If he only sees you as a friend, he might not be privy to your vulnerabilities or your dreams and aspirations. By opening yourself up, you allow him to connect with you on a deeper level.

One final tip: Don’t forget that a slow and steady approach often wins this race! A sudden shift in behavior might seem disingenuous and could even push him further away, so tread lightly and let things evolve naturally over time.

The Art of Flirting: Subtle Techniques to Show Your Intentions

Flirting can seem daunting, but it’s an important way to get your intentions across. Understanding the art can help avoid the friend zone. It’s more about subtext, implication, and the signals you are sending. Here’s how you can turn your flirting game around:

Body Language

Body language is half the conversation. Leaning in while talking, uninterrupted eye contact, or gentle touches on the arm, are all powerful tools. They silently telegraph your romantic interest. Remember, it’s all about subtlety, no aggressive gestures.

Initiate and Maintain Personal Conversations

Showing an interest in someone on a deeper level creates an emotional bond. Encourage him to open up about his feelings and personal life. Sharing your own vulnerabilities, dreams and fears is also crucial. It creates trust and signifies that you’re interested in more than a platonic relationship.

Mind The Compliments

Compliments are potent when used correctly. Avoid generic compliments about his looks. Instead, compliment his character, choices, or skills. This shows you value him beyond physical attraction, gaining his respect and capturing his attention.

Use Humor to Your Advantage

Laughter is infectious and a great way to sparkle chemistry. Be playful and light-hearted. Try not to overshare or vent about your problems, which can be perceived as negativity. Instead, be the person who lifts up his spirits and he will be drawn to you.

Flirting is an interactive dance. It’s about showing admiration without desperation, interest without clinginess, and confidence without arrogance. Practice these skills and you’ll be out of the friend zone in no time.

Tangible Transition: Moving from Platonic to Romantic

Transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one is a delicate process and timing is everything. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this crucial stage.

Express Your Feelings Honestly

Authenticity breeds trust. Give voice to your feelings when you sense the time is right. Choose a relaxed and private setting, and importantly, express your emotions with sincerity and confidence.

Subtlety is Key

While being upfront is great, shocking out of the blue confessions can be confusing and alarming. Gradually drop hints about your feelings. It’s about expressing interest without overwhelming your friend.

Respect Their Response

Easier said than done, but if they don’t feel the same way, it’s imperative to respect their feelings. It can be daunting, but the goal is ensuring everyone feels heard and respected.

Be Patient

Patience is truly a virtue in this scenario. Give your friend time to process their feelings. It’s not a race, so don’t rush the process. The transition, if it happens, needs to feel natural and mutual.

Show You’re Serious

It’s not enough just to express how you feel. Show them that you’re serious about taking the relationship to the next level. Be there at the important moments, do things that a good boyfriend or girlfriend would do, and allow them to see the potential that comes with being more than friends.

Finally, whatever the end result, it’s worth remembering that honesty, patience, and respect for each other’s feelings are the perfect foundation, no matter what kind of relationship you share.

Mastering Communication: Expressing Your Feelings Without Fear

Mastering communication can feel like a daunting task, especially when it involves making yourself vulnerable and revealing your feelings. However, overcoming that fear is crucial to avoiding the friend zone and potentially establishing a romantic relationship. So, how can you express your feelings without fear? Here are some pointers.

Practice Active Listening

Communication is a two-way street, and understanding how to be a good listener is as essential as expressing your own feelings. When he speaks, engage, show interest, and reflect on what he’s saying. Active listening shows respect and forms a deeper connection between the two of you, paving the way for more open and personal conversations.

Know Your Worth

Opening up can be scary, but remember that your feelings are valid and you have every right to express them. Remind yourself of your worth and the value you bring to a potential relationship. This mindset will provide the confidence to communicate openly and honestly.

Choose the Right Time and Place

The environment can greatly impact your talk. Avoid crowded or noisy places where you can’t have a serious conversation. Choose a comfortable and quiet spot, and make sure you both have enough time to talk without feeling hurried or interrupted.

Use “I” Statements

Using direct statements that start with “I feel” rather than “you make me feel” can help convey your emotions without sounding accusatory. This makes space for a productive and respectful dialogue, increasing your chances of a positive response.

Communication is a skill, and like any other, it requires practice to perfect. Don’t fear it, own it. After all, it’s the bridge between friendship and a potential romantic relationship.

avoid the friend zone

The Power of Confidence: How Self-Confidence Can Change Your Relationship

Believe it or not, self-belief can play a monumental role in shifting your relationship from platonic to romantic. This confidence, glowing from within, is not merely about how you view yourself, but majorly about how you carry yourself and interact with others, especially the guy you’re interested in.

A confident personality is attractive and often irresistible. When you have confidence in yourself, not only do you exhibit strength and independence, but you also project yourself as someone who knows their worth and isn’t afraid to show it. This can do wonders for evoking feelings of attraction in others.

Display your self-worth

Begin by displaying your self-worth. Understand your value and don’t be afraid to express it. Show the guy that you are comfortable in your skin and proud of who you are. This shouldn’t be confused with arrogance, it’s about having a healthy self-esteem. This form of self-assuredness can create a magnetic pull towards you.

Emanate Positivity

Confidence isn’t just about command, but also positivity. A positive outlook can make you easier to be around and more enjoyable to interact with, both of which are qualities that can help you avoid slipping into the friend zone. Positivity is contagious, and it tends to draw people in, creating a closer, more intimate bond.

Don’t Fear Rejection

Remember that fear of rejection can be a serious confidence killer. It’s normal to crave acceptance, especially from someone you have feelings for; however, tying your self-worth to that acceptance can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt. If he doesn’t respond as you hope, know that it isn’t a reflection of your worth. Maintain your confidence, and you’ll find that this courage can be incredibly attractive.

All in all, maintaining self-confidence is an essential ingredient in paving the path from friendship to something more. Ideas about yourself radiate out and impact how others perceive and relate to you. So let your confident, vibrant personality shine through. You’re worth it!

Timing is Everything: Finding the Right Moment to Move Out of the Friend Zone

Timing, the often-underestimated aspect of any relationship, has the power to make or break your journey from friend zone to romance. Knowing when to make your move, revealing your feelings at the right moment, and choosing the ideal time to transition from friendship to something deeper requires a blend of patience and awareness. Let’s discuss how to make timing work in your favor.

Understanding Their Personal Life and Schedule

Before deciding to make your move, consider his personal life and schedule. Is he currently dealing with a lot of stress at work, school, or home? If so, it might not be the best time to introduce additional emotional complexity. Wait for a time when he’s more relaxed and receptive.

Choose a Comfortable Environment

Pick a setting that is comfortable and familiar to both of you when it’s time to reveal your feelings. This can help reduce stress and make the conversation feel more natural. A sudden shift in relationship dynamics can be challenging, and choosing the right environment can play a vital role in creating a smooth transition.

Identifying Positive Signs

Keep an eye out for increasingly positive signs in your interactions, such as more frequent and deeper conversations or increased physical contact. These signs could indicate growing trust or even romantic interest. There’s never a perfect moment, but noticing these indicators can help you pick a better time to express your feelings.

Prepare for Their Reaction

No matter how well you think you know someone, it’s impossible to predict his exact reaction. Prepare yourself for a variety of outcomes. Regardless of the response, respect his feelings and keep your reaction as positive and understanding as possible.

Timing isn’t about waiting indefinitely for the perfect moment—it’s about assessing the situation, understanding his emotional state, and moving forward with patience and respect.

The Importance of Patience: Why Rushing Can Lead to the Friend Zone

Patience is of the essence when it comes to building relationships, especially when you’re hoping to transition a friendship into a romantic relationship.

Rushing can often scare him away, making him feel overwhelmed and creating tension in the relationship. It’s important to give him the space and time he needs to adjust to the idea of you being more than a friend. Understand that this might happen gradually and each person will require different timelines.

Your patience and respect for his feelings and decision-making process can be seen as an act of genuine care and understanding. It will ultimately show him that your intentions are pure and that you value the bond shared, ensuring a progression towards a possible romantic relationship without pushing them away or causing them to feel uncomfortable.

So how can you exercise patience? Start by giving him time and not expecting immediate changes in the relationship dynamics immediately you express your feelings. It’s also key to control your needs and desires to avoid seeming desperate or pushy. Respect his perspective and give him room to breathe.

Remember, rushing can often lead to the friend zone because it may make him feel pressured. On the other hand, being patient and understanding shows him that you’re more interested in him than merely changing the status of your relationship. Practicing patience can be the key to successfully avoiding the friend zone and building a potential romantic relationship.

Preserving the Friendship: How to Maintain Your Bond Even If Romance Doesn’t Bloom

Achieving your romantic goals with a friend isn’t always guaranteed, yet it’s vital to avoid severing the friendly ties you’ve built over time. Even if things don’t pan out as you’d wish, maintaining your friendship is still possible and valuable. Here’s how to do it.

Handle Rejection Gracefully

When the time comes, and the answer to your honesty is a ‘no,’ don’t react painfully. It’s understandably sad and disappointing. But holding onto the negativity won’t help anyone. Instead, show understanding and acceptance. After all, his feelings matter too. Just as you want respect for your emotions, be ready to reciprocate that understanding and empathy.

Give Each Other Space

Post-rejection can be an awkward time for both of you. It’s fine to take some time apart to allow the tension to ease. This space often helps you both recalibrate your feelings, process the event, and minimize discomfort. It’s a temporary break, not an end. You’re prioritizing the friendship’s health by allowing it to breathe.

Don’t force things to be “normal” immediately

There might be a natural urge to make things go back to ‘normal’ instantly. Resist this. Give it time and let the relationship slope back to its platonic status at a comfortable pace. Accept any lingering awkwardness as part of the process and, soon enough, that phase will pass. What’s important is not rushing the process.

Maintain Respect and Courtesy

Though the romantic side might linger, let courtesy and respect reign. Let go of any hard feelings and continue treating each other with the same respect as before. Threading the thin line between love and friendship can be challenging, but with caution and understanding, it can certainly be achieved. Always remember that preserving mutual respect is crucial to maintaining your friendship.

Stay Positive and Focus on the Friendship

Instead of focusing on the failed romantic attempt, keep your sights set on the friendship that you both cherish. Talk about the things you used to enjoy as friends, engage in activities you both love, be there for each other, and the friendship will strengthen over time. Positivity and persistence are key.

Navigating Rejection: Tips for Bouncing Back If Things Don’t Go as Planned

Navigating rejection can be a tough process. It’s never easy to handle a “no”, especially from someone you’ve shown romantic interest in. But it’s important to understand that rejection too is a part of life, and it’s how you handle it that matters the most.

First and foremost, remember that rejection is not a reflection of who you are as a person. It doesn’t define you, and the fact that one person doesn’t see a potential romantic relationship with you doesn’t mean that no one else will.

Next, avoid the blame game. It’s easy to blame yourself or the other person for the way things played out. But dwelling on what-ifs and should-haves is not going to change anything. It’s better to accept the situation and start working on moving forward.

Take some time for self-reflection. Use this as an opportunity to understand your feelings better. Are you feeling upset because of the rejection itself, or because you feel you’ve lost a chance at a relationship? Once you understand where your emotions are coming from, managing them becomes much easier.

Remember, it’s okay to feel sad. You’re allowed to be disappointed and to take some time to heal if that’s what you need. This is a natural part of human emotions and it’s important not to suppress your feelings.

Lastly, try to learn from the experience. Rejection is tough, but it also helps us grow as individuals. It deepens our understanding of our personal emotions and improves our ability to handle negative situations. Ask yourself, what can you learn from this experience? What can you do differently in your future interactions?

Getting past a rejection is no small feat, but with the right mindset and a focus on self-improvement, you will emerge stronger and more resilient.

Wrapping Up Avoiding the Friend Zone

So, there you have it. You’re now equipped with an arsenal of strategies and wisdom to help you step forward confidently without falling into the dreaded friend zone trap. Remember, the key to avoiding the friend zone is about open communication, expressing your interest subtly yet clearly, and maintaining your dignity and self-worth throughout the process.

Don’t forget, though that every situation is unique. It’s important to always respect the other person’s feelings and decision either way. If you do find yourself in the friend zone, despite following all the steps, don’t be disheartened. In fact, understanding your feelings and airing them out is a brave step in itself.

The friend zone doesn’t have to be a life sentence. With the right mindset and approach, you could change the course of your relationship from platonic to romantic.

But what if you don’t succeed in transitioning your relationship from just friends to something more? Take a step back, give it some time, and refocus your energy to move forward with your friendship. It’s essential to preserve your bond regardless of the outcome.

Without a doubt, the journey out of the friend zone can be a tricky one, but now you’ve got the road map and compass in hand. Once you’re ready, you can navigate this challenging expedition, filled with strength, subtlety, and more than a little confidence.

Lastly, sometimes we may all need a little professional guidance. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor or relationship expert for personalized advice if this all feels overly daunting. The most crucial part of this journey is to take care of you. Friends or more than friends, you’re worth it!

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

Do you want to know how to spark an instant connection with someone new? Here are some simple to follow dating tips that will help you make a great first impression!

Of course you want to make a great first impression when you meet someone new, especially when that someone is a handsome potential boyfriend. It’s actually easier than you would think! Here are four simple dating tips to help you shine….

Nix The Narcissism

It’s easy to get caught up in a one-sided conversation, where you talk non-stop about yourself in an effort to impress, especially when your nerves take over. Sadly, this tactic will usually backfire, leaving him disinterested, and leaving you wondering why. The next time you meet a new man, avoid the temptation to over-share. Instead of making it all about you, keep the conversation flowing back and forth. Of course, don’t interrogate him with questions. But do encourage him to talk about himself now and then. Respond with genuine interest, and really get to know each other!

Stay Cool, Calm, And Collected

It’s normal to feel a little anxious and jittery on a first date. But don’t let your nerves get the best of you! Take a deep breath, relax and focus on him. Chances are he’s just as nervous as you, so make him feel at ease and the conversation will flow naturally! Speaking of conversation, remember to speak slowly and clearly. Rambling on is a sure sign of insecurity. Men are attracted to confidence, and if he feels comfortable when he’s with you he will want to spend more time with you!

Be Mindful Of Body Language

According to Psychology Today, being in sync with another person is attractive. If you adjust your posture to match his, and follow his gestures, it will make you infinitely more alluring. To establish an instant connection, mirror the tilt of his head, make eye contact, smile when he smiles, and shift your body along with him. We can communication volumes with our bodies! Occasionally lean in toward him when he says something interesting. Keep you feet pointed forward towards him, with your legs uncrossed and comfortable. Arms should be also be uncrossed in a natural position with your hands relaxed and open. And be a bit flirtatious by playfully touching your jewelry or your hair. This is all considered positive body language, a hot topic when it comes dating advice for women!

Keep Things Real

If you’ve read any of my books, you know self-esteem is a key issue in my dating advice for women. You are a quality woman, and you should never change yourself for anyone or give up who you are, especially for a man. Don’t lie and say things just to impress a guy. Be open and honest about your likes and dislikes right from the start, and let him get to know the real you, and how amazing you are! If he doesn’t like you for who you are, or if you don’t have anything in common, he’s not a good fit for you anyway! Don’t sweat it. You can have your pick of men, and your perfect match may be just around the corner waiting to have an instant connection with you!

If your new acquaintance doesn’t heed this advice, cut him some slack if he makes a less than stellar first impression. Nerves can get the best of him too, and there may be a great guy hidden beneath all that narcissistic, insecure rambling. Now if he still makes it all about him when you meet again, that’s a whole ‘nother story!

8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women to Answer

8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women to Answer

Gregg here today! Ladies, there are questions all men would like women to answer. I hope I don’t come across as sexist, but these are burning questions men have but, if we work together, I think you can clue us in! Help me as a dating coach to better understand how your minds work!

Please choose which you’d like to answer and put your response in the comments (or answer them all!) I’m on pins and needles!

Why so many pairs of shoes?

Ten seems sufficient. Twenty? Thirty? Fifty and sometimes over one hundred? Why? Are you covering up something in your personality?  Often times you won’t even wear them and yet they need to be on display for all to see.

The toilet seat

Isn’t easier to just put down the toilet seat then squawking at us four times a day? We obviously will never learn so why not just put it down yourself?

Your hatred towards our sports teams

We just want to see our four professional teams and a few college games per week. Can’t you enjoy them with us? Instead of telling us to get off the couch, can’t you sit on the couch with us? And why not learn the rules? We will be happy to teach you using the cat laser toy!

The talk

Why must we always be asked where this relationship is headed? Why does it always have to be headed somewhere?  Can’t it just remain right where it is? I don’t know many guys who ask there girl where they are headed. Men just want to enjoy the here and now, can’t women do the same?

Over an hour to get ready?

Why? What goes on in the shower? Your bodies are smaller than ours so why does it take four times as long to get your body clean? Do you really need the ten items in the shower? Pert has a two in one shampoo and conditioner, can’t you use that? Then comes the makeup, the drying and sculpting of the hair, not to mention the clothes being changed over and over again. I was ready an hour and a half ago. Now, I just want to stay in and watch my sports.

Parallel parking

Is there a gene in your DNA which does not allow you to parallel park? You shouldn’t need to purchase a car based on its ability to park itself. Why can’t this be learned without airbag deployment?

Over texting

Why are women’s texts the length of the Gettysburg address? Just tell us that you will be over at 8:30 and end the text there. If we don’t respond, it doesn’t mean we hate you or we didn’t get the text, it means, “OK, see you then.” We are not breaking up. If we are forced to send back a response, let it be one smiley face and leave it at that.

Orgasms

Now this one might not be your fault but why does it take an owner’s manual, three baby goats, and a jester to make you reach an orgasm? Are we that bad in bed? Can’t we just get off more times than you and call it even? Why does it need to be equal? We can look at a glass of milk and have an orgasm – this is not our fault.

Answer these eight questions, and we will change our ways forever! OK, I lied – we’re incapable of change. Just please don’t ask us eight questions back – that wouldn’t be fair!

If you would like to understand US better, click the link below to grab my #1 Best Seller, To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man.

Wanted – One Great Guy – Losers Need Not Apply!

Wanted – One Great Guy – Losers Need Not Apply!

WANTED: Attractive girl willing to be mother/martyr to a jobless jerk with junker car and no interest in changing my bad habits. Don’t clean, don’t cook, don’t care – just kicked out of my mother’s house and need to find a home for me and my basement full of Star Wars collectibles. Willing to tattoo your name to my list of “I love ____” on my biceps but draw the line at actual commitment beyond being able to use your credit cards. Allergic to your pets and friends but you’ll have plenty of company taking care of mine when you’re not fulfilling my sexual fantasies or cleaning up after me. Text me at XXXX and I’ll tell you when and where to pick me up.

Is this an ad from the man of your dreams? If the guy you’re with wrote an honest ad, would this be how it read? I know most of my books talk about how to get a guy, keep a guy, or get him back, but there are times when you need to know when to get rid of him.

Just because you’re with him – or want to be – doesn’t mean you should. I hear from so many women who are carrying all the weight of their relationship, and if they let go, there wouldn’t be one. If you are lonely, tired, and your best day was before you got into this relationship, take yourself out to a cool coffee or tea bar with this list of questions.

But first, the non-negotiables: addictive, angry, or abusive guys have no business being part of your long-term plans. You’ll want professional help in getting rid of him though, because they won’t let go of someone who enables their bad behavior without a fight.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is he meeting my needs? Does he even know (or care) what they are?
  2. Does he treat me with respect, or am I the “old ball and chain”?
  3. Does he like my friends? Do they like him? Do I like his? Does he even have any?
  4. If there’s a conflict with his family or friends, does he ever take my side or is it always them?
  5. Does he remember important dates? Does he remember with flowers or a heavy sigh and tales of when he was single and happy?
  6. Can he laugh at himself? Can I laugh at him? Do we ever laugh together?
  7. Do our goals align? Kids? College? Career? City condo or country house?
  8. Do we have the same views on handling money?
  9. When we don’t agree on something, can we work out a compromise that we can both live with, or am I usually expected to give in?
  10. Are our religions compatible?
  11. Do I trust him? How does he drive when I’m in the car?
  12. If we’re at a restaurant and the food arrives cold, how does he handle it?

If you’re getting a whole bunch of no’s, then tune in to my next article for how and where to say see you later, sayonara, chow baby, I’m outta here. Also, read my best seller, Weed Out The Losers, The Couch Potatoes and The Losers today!

Why Does a Man Pull Away? How can You Draw Him Close Again?

Why Does a Man Pull Away? How can You Draw Him Close Again?

Why does a man pull away? It’s a question women have been asking for many years and, lucky for you, there are a few simple answers.

Before we examine the why let’s look at what it looks like.

why does a man pull away

Is Your Man Pulling Away?

There are signs that your guy is pulling away, some more obvious than others:

  • He literally walks out the door (if you live together)
  • He’s less responsive or he ignores you most of the time
  • “Babe I just need some space”
  • He digs into work or a hobby, spending less time with you
  • You see signs that he’s looking for your replacement
  • He avoids you
  • He hangs up on you and doesn’t call back

Kate and Jack had been married for ten years but things were slowly declining. Kate spent days taking care of their four children while Jack worked. As the days went on, Jack worked later and later into the evenings, leaving his children to miss his presence and Kate to pick up the slack.

When Jack was home in the evenings, Kate went off to their bedroom, where her computer was stored, to work. Even when they were in the house together, they were usually apart. Jack spent more weekends at work and less at home.

Finally, Jack moved out and Kate was so relieved. She didn’t realize how much unspoken tension was filling their home until Jack was gone and she felt it leave like a big swoosh of air. Jack had been pulling away for months until his only next step was to move out.

Is Your Relationship Over?

Do you think your relationship is teetering on the edge of disaster? Has he aleady left? This is a great article for sure, but there are others! Just click the button to read them.

 

Why Does a Man Pull Away? He Has a Fear of Commitment

For some men, a fear of commitment will freeze them in their tracks. There is a name for this. It’s called gamophobia.

When you’re experiencing gamophobia, you have an irrational and uncontrolled fear of being accountable to a partner or spouse.

For much of your relationship up until now, you’ve been getting to know one another, and this is fun for men. They love the mystery of uncovering who you are beyond your looks. That’s what’s important to them.

But as the relationship advances and he senses you want a commitment; he distances himself and seems less available. Texts go unanswered or sit for hours, even days before you get a response. Your phone calls are answered, but not nearly every time.

He’s facing a moment of truth with you. He either needs to make a commitment or bail and his fight or flight mechanism tells him to fly.

Of course, the fear significantly outweighs any perceived threat. How can a happy relationship be threatening?

Perhaps you’ll see how if we look at the causes of gamophobia.

Causes of Gamophobia

He’s Had Negative Relationship Experiences Previously

One of two things most likely happened if this is the cause.

Either he experienced a childhood with chronically unhappy parents, perhaps including domestic abuse or, at the very least, lots of fighting; or he experienced his own very negative relationship and he’s afraid of another.

His Childhood Attachments Weren’t Healthy

If your guy didn’t have healthy attachments to his parents or caregivers, it could cause his gamophobia.

When a child grows up not having his needs met by his caregivers, he develops insecure attachment styles. This causes him to have a difficult time forming relationships and to feel less secure in any relationships he does engage in.

Additionally, he might have a fear of abandonment or rejection if either of those things occurred in his past.

It’s In His Genes – or History

Sometimes, it boils down to nature or nurture. There is research that suggests phobias might be passed from one generation to another genetically, making him more susceptible to phobias like this one.

He might also have learned this phobia because someone in his family experienced it. By watching someone else experience this phobia, he developed the phobia himself.

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, like other problems your guy may experience, there’s nothing you can do to fix this. He needs to fix it for himself and with phobias, the best course is to seek professional help.

What you can do is try to gently point out that he seems to distance himself from your relationship anytime the commitment conversation happens. He might not really be aware that he’s experiencing this problem.

You can ask him how he feels when you talk about commitment. If he has gamophobia, not only will he distance himself from your relationship, but he might experience physical symptoms associated with fear, like hyperventilating, chest pain, choking sensations, feelings of impending doom, rapid heart rate or breathing, sweating, and trembling.

If he’s willing to seek help and you’re willing to wait, you can probably come out on the other side of his treatment with a healthy relationship.

why does a man pull away

He’s Afraid of His Own Feelings

For some men, managing their emotions is very challenging. When these men were growing up, they were taught to suck it up and deal more often than they were told to feel sad, disappointed, or frustrated.

For many, the only acceptable emotion was anger. For him to now feel love is scary. He didn’t date you with the idea of falling in love with you. He dated you because you piqued his interest. He found you mysterious and he has had a great time learning about you.

Then, WHAM! He realizes he’s in love with you and oh boy, does that scare him.

The thing is that men usually pull back when they need to process their emotions. While many women are open books when it comes to their emotions, most men are not accustomed to having these feelings. Processing them in seclusion feels the safest.

What Can You Do?

If you give him time and you nurture your friendships and hobbies, he’ll most likely come back to you, able to handle his feelings of love for you and ready to move forward.

The worst thing you can do is keep after him while he’s processing his emotions. Let him stew in things on his own for a while. I can’t give you a timetable. Every person is different. What I can say is that if you come to him before he’s ready, it won’t help.

Turn to your girlfriends. Enjoy time with them. Pick up an old hobby or find a new one. Engross yourself in those relationships and hobbies and patiently wait for him to return.

He’s Afraid He’ll Lose His Independence and Freedom

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to slip into some bad habits, like seeing one another to the exclusion of your outside friendships.

For your man, the thought of making a bigger commitment to your relationship might cause him to fear losing his independence and freedom.

Right now, if he wants to hang with the guys, he thinks he’s independent and free enough to do so without any repercussions.

This is where a concept I refer to as perceived freedom comes into play. Perceived freedom is when a guy feels he’s free to hang out with his friends whenever he wants to, but he’ll usually seek your permission or at least an okee dokee first.

If you go into a relationship forbidding him from seeing his friends or whining and complaining every time he wants to watch college football with the guys, he will not only fear he’s losing his independence, he’ll know he is.

What Can You Do?

Let him hang out with his friends. If it seems he’s doing a little too much of it, like more than one or two evenings every couple of weeks, you have things you can do that don’t involve whining, arguing, or complaining.

For example, if he says he wants to hang out to watch Thursday Night Football with his buddies, fine. Let him. But…

Plan something with your girlfriends for that same evening. Make sure he sees you before you leave, and make sure you look and smell great. Kiss him on the cheek and tell him you’ll see him later.

He’ll go watch TNF, but he’ll be thinking about how great you looked and smelled and whether any guys might see you. While he might be afraid to lose his independence, he’s probably more afraid of losing you!

You’ve dampened his time with his friends without complaining or arguing. He’s still hanging out with them, but he’s not having as much fun as he thought he would.

No, this isn’t game-playing. You should always maintain relationships with your friends, regardless of your relationship status. This is you doing what he’s doing – hanging out with friends. The difference is that you look and smell great and he’s going off with smelly men.

Why Does a Man Pull Away? Things Got Too Intense

I’m sure this has happened to you before. You meet a guy and there’s an immediate connection. Sparks are flying right from the start. You find yourselves wanting to spend every moment together and then, BAM. He’s nowhere to be found.

Even though he played a role in this accelerated pace, he’s now stepping back and wondering what the heck just happened.

He’s a little freaked out and needs a moment or five to cool his heels.

Men date first to have fun. They like to uncover the mystery behind who you are. Nothing makes a guy smile inside more than finding out something intriguing about a woman he’s been dating.

How Can You Avoid This?

Let him have that time. Even if you feel this drive to spend tons of time with him, back off. If