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How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking

is he lying about being single

Written ByGregg Michaelsen

Gregg grew up just as many others – in a dysfunctional, but loving family. After going through years of failed relationships, he set out to decode dating for women by interviewing happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.

You’ve spotted an attractive man across the room and your interest is piqued, but do you know how to tell if a guy is single without asking? I mean who walks up to someone and says, “Are you single?” It’s just not done.

So, what can you do to answer the question, “Is he single?” There are a few things you can look for to help you figure it out and none of them involve asking a stranger that question.

How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking | It’s All About Body Language

The first clues lie in his body language. If you haven’t met him yet, watch his body language while he’s around his group of friends.

Most people square their shoulders to the most important person in the room, to them. If he’s facing another woman and it’s not just conversational, but consistent, she’s most likely the light of his life.

Any subtle contact he makes with her will also clue you in. Along with that, he’ll make eye contact with a woman he’s interested in, and he’ll close the distance between them.

Other signals might include preening for her or running his hands through his hair. He’ll try to make her laugh if he’s still trying to win her over. His body language overall will be open with his hands wide or at least at his sides.

how to tell if a guy is single without asking

He’ll Ask for Your Number but Not Provide His

He might play this off as saying it’s his work phone or something like that, but if he’s single and interested, he’ll give you his number and if he doesn’t, it’s because he doesn’t want his wife or girlfriend to see your messages.

Also, don’t let him give you a safety excuse. Even men who saw Fatal Attraction years ago will give their number to a woman they like. Men don’t carry the same worries women do about giving their number to a stranger. They’re often bigger and feel they can protect themselves.

He’s Available at Strange Times

He has weekend plans with his wife or girlfriend, so you get what’s left over. He might ask for daytime dates or weeknight dates instead.

Of course, this is one of my signs that he’s a good guy, but not this time. It’s fine to test a guy by asking him to see you during the day, but if he suggests it, be careful.

Most guys aren’t into daytime dates because there’s a lower chance of sex, so if he does suggest a daytime date, be prepared to meet him somewhere where you won’t be seen, like a hotel or an off-the-beaten-path restaurant.

Weeknight dates only raise a red flag if all your dates are during the week. A weeknight date is fine if you’re enjoying dates on the weekends too. Then, you can be sure he’s not dating someone else or married.

How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking | He’s Edgy When You’re Together

If his phone rings or buzzes with a text, he might jump out of his skin out of nervousness. He’s so afraid of getting caught that he’s wound up pretty tight.

You might even notice that he can’t seem to relax at first. As time passes and he realizes he isn’t getting caught, he might relax. He may not be impacted by this if you’re not the first one he’s cheated with too, so this isn’t always present.

If he does answer a call or text, he will leave your presence to do so. He’ll leave the room or excuse himself for a few moments. Of course, everyone has the need for a private conversation from time to time, but not every time.

how to tell if a guy is single without asking

You Got His Number But…

Well, he gave you his phone number, but you only get replies from him during the daytime and never after seven in the evening.

This is because he doesn’t want to text you while he’s with his wife or girlfriend. During the daytime, he’s chatty as he can be, then come evening, crickets.

If he works nights, you can shift this around to when he’s home. He might text you a lot during the evening hours, at least until it’s too late, then once he’s home, nothing. Either way, he’s got something to hide.

How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking | Weekend Getaways are Non-Existent

You’ve been dating for a while and you’d like to take a weekend trip together, but no matter what you suggest or when he can’t make it.

Just like you won’t get a weekend date with him, you won’t get a weekend trip. The only way he can pull this off is if he claims he’s on a business trip, but how many of those happen on the weekend?

Not only will he not be able to make it for a weekend trip, but he also never stays through the night. He always dashes out before it’s time to go to sleep.

You Always Hang Out at Your Place

He never invites you to his place because another woman is there. Everything you do is at your place or somewhere secluded.

He’ll make excuses like, “Oh, my place is a mess” or “I have a roommate.” Yeah, he has a roommate, but it’s not a guy.

Beware of a guy who won’t take you to his place. He has something to hide.

Are You Dealing with a Cheater?

Do you think your guy is cheating? If he is, does it mean your relationship is over? This article is a great one to help you sort that out, but there are others! Just click the button below to find them.

He Never Goes on a Spontaneous Date

He’s not very likely to say yes to a spontaneous date invitation. He needs to check in at home first to see if he has other plans.

If you suggest a date in the next few days, you’ll get a standard, “We’ll see.” This is also code for I need to make sure I don’t have plans with my girlfriend/wife before I commit to plans with you.

If he suggests a spontaneous date, it means he just realized his wife or girlfriend has other plans and he’s free.

How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking | Your Dates are in an Adjacent Town

Instead of going somewhere in your town, he suggests going to this cute little place in the next town over. He makes it sound all romantic and quaint, but the real appeal for him is that it’s not where he can be spotted.

He’ll say something like not wanting any distractions, and I guess that’s true since the distraction he’s avoiding is another woman seeing you both together.

how to tell if a guy is single without asking

He Won’t Discuss His Private Life

He’ll share anything you want to hear about his work and friends, but he stonewalls you when you ask about past girlfriends or his home life. He probably won’t share where he lives in much detail.

If he’s into you and single, he wants to share everything about himself. His home is part of his status – who he is – and if he wants to impress you, he’ll brag about it and where it is.

He Pays with Cash Often

When a guy doesn’t want his wife or girlfriend to see his dinner date bills, he’ll use cash. This way, his activities can’t be as easily tracked. Occasionally is okay, but if he pays for everything you do together with cash, something’s fishy.

In today’s credit card climate, there may even be instant alerts to an iPad or phone when he’s used a card, and if he shares that card with someone else, she’ll know.

How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking | He Says He’s a Commitment-Phobe

As time passes, if you haven’t figured out yet that he’s otherwise attached, it’ll be time for a commitment. Unfortunately, what you don’t know is that he already has a commitment to someone else.

Instead, he’ll say he has a commitment phobia and he’ll avoid all further discussions about moving in together or making a formal commitment to one another.

There’s the possibility that he’ll say okay to something like that but never follow through also. Guys will say anything to keep you interested. I’ve known men who will even buy an engagement ring with no intention of getting married.

I make no apologies for my gender.

He Completely Falls off the Radar

This is the worst possible scenario for you. One day, your guy just never reaches out again. At first, you worry that something is wrong, but after a few days, you realize he’s ghosting you.

A few more days and you’re somewhere between ticked off and worried sick.

He may turn up after a couple of weeks, saying he was busy at work, lost his phone, or some other lame excuse.

Don’t believe him. He was on vacation with his wife or girlfriend, and couldn’t text you, let alone call. He may have even temporarily blocked you so nothing would show up.

How to Tell if a Guy is Single without Asking

If you see some of the signs above, consider whether your guy is really single. All roads point to him having someone else in his life, aside from you. You deserve a man who can put his full attention on you, but you also deserve a man who is honest and has integrity.

A man who pretends to be single when he has a wife or girlfriend has little integrity and lacks honesty. This isn’t the type of man you want in your life. If he will lie about something that big, he will lie about other things.

Life Plan Tip: Assess Your Current Situation

Now that you understand your vision and goals, it’s time to assess your current situation. First, take a deep dive into where you stand right now. Then, evaluate both your personal and professional life. What’s working well? What areas need improvement? 

Reflect on your past achievements. Celebrating the goals you’ve met can provide a sense of accomplishment and motivate you to keep pushing forward. Identify what you did right and the strategies that led to your success. Conversely, acknowledge what held you back from achieving other goals and what you might need to change. 

Next, assess the resources and tools you currently have at your disposal. Do you have a strong support system, either personally or professionally? If not, consider establishing one. Having people you can rely on for advice, help, and encouragement is invaluable. 

This is where having a personal growth coach can help.

Communication also plays a critical role in assessing your situation. Ask open-ended questions to gather more information about areas you need to improve. Improving your communication skills—like paying attention to your tone of voice, making eye contact, and actively listening—can significantly affect how you interact with others and achieve your goals. 

Don’t forget the practical side of things. Using a work management tool as your central source of truth can help you monitor your progress consistently. With everything in one place, you’ll be better equipped to track your achievements and identify areas where you might be falling behind.

By thoroughly assessing your current situation, you’ll have a clear understanding of where you stand. This foundational step will ensure that your life plan is both realistic and achievable.

Identifying Key Areas of Your Life

Identifying key areas of your life is an important step in creating a well-rounded life plan. To do this,  look at different areas of your life and determine which are most important to you. Common areas include:

  • Career: Consider where you are now and where you want to be. What milestones do you want to achieve?
  • Health: Focus on both physical and mental well-being. What health goals will help you live a longer, happier life?
  • Relationships: Reflect on the quality of your relationships with family, friends, and significant others. How can you strengthen them?
  • Personal Development: Think about the skills and knowledge you want to acquire. What are your passions and interests?
  • Finance: Evaluate your current financial situation and set goals for managing your money better.
  • Recreation: Identify hobbies and activities that bring you joy. How can you incorporate more leisure time into your life?

By breaking down your life into these key categories, you can create specific and actionable goals for each. Remember, the purpose of this exercise is not to overwhelm you but to give you a holistic view of your aspirations.

You won’t work on every area at once, but will focus on the most important areas first. Those are usually the areas that will have a positive impact on other areas. For example, getting your financial house in order will have a positive impact on your ability to enjoy hobbies, travel, buy your dream home or car, and more.

Setting SMARTER Goals

Many people have learned the fundamentals of SMART goals, which you read about above, but I encourage you to set SMARTER goals. This means adding two key elements: Evaluated and Revised.

Evaluated: Regularly assess your progress toward each goal. This doesn’t just give you a clear picture of how far you’ve come, but also lets you quickly spot any setbacks. Ask yourself questions like, “What milestones have I reached?”, “What challenges have I faced?”, and “Am I on track to achieve my goal within the set timeframe?”

Revised: Your goals should never be set in stone. Life is dynamic, and your goals should be flexible enough to adapt to new circumstances. Maybe you’ve discovered a more efficient way to reach your goal, or perhaps external factors have changed your timeline. Be open to making adjustments as needed to stay on course.

Consider this example: Suppose your goal is to run a marathon. Here’s how you can make it SMARTER:

  • Specific: Complete a marathon race.
  • Measurable: Track your progress using a running app.
  • Achievable: Train progressively, starting with short runs and increasing the distance over time.
  • Relevant: Align this goal with your broader aim of improving overall fitness and health.
  • Timely: Set a target date for the marathon, such as six months from now.
  • Evaluated: Check your progress weekly to see how your training is going.
  • Revised: Adjust your training plan if you encounter injuries or need more time to prepare.

Adopting the SMARTER framework in your goal-setting strategy ensures that your life plan remains relevant, realistic, and achievable. It also provides a structured yet flexible approach to personal development, giving you the best chance of success in all your endeavors.

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life plan

Life Plan Tip: Create Actionable Steps

Breaking down your goals into manageable, actionable steps makes a world of difference. Take each of your SMARTER goals and map the steps needed to accomplish them. Imagine you’re drawing a roadmap; each action is a milestone leading you closer to your destination.

For example, if your goal is to run a marathon by the end of the year, your actionable steps might include:

  • Researching marathon training programs
  • Creating a weekly running schedule
  • Registering for a local marathon
  • Joining a running group for support and motivation

Each step should be clear and concise, making it easier to follow through. Writing these down not only clarifies the path forward but also serves as a motivational tool. There’s something satisfying about crossing items off your list!

Additionally, consider leveraging a work management tool to keep track of your progress. Apps or a calendar can keep you organized and provides a sense of accountability as you see your progress over time.

Remember, the reason for actionable steps is to reduce overwhelm. By breaking down your goals into smaller tasks, you transform intimidating objectives into achievable, motivating milestones.

Organizing tasks by their importance and urgency can be an effective method of categorizing your to-do list. Many people set a top three list for each day to help them stay on task.

Once you’ve categorized your activities, incorporate them into your daily routine. A calendar or app might help you track progress and adjust priorities as needed. Some tools come with features that allow you to set deadlines, assign tasks, and monitor completion rates, all of which are essential to maintaining focus and momentum.

Try a few to see which one works for you. New apps are coming out all of the time. Or if you’re the creative type, try a bullet journal.

Remember to balance your workload. While it’s tempting to tackle high-priority tasks first, mixing in some less urgent tasks prevents burnout. For example, after a challenging project, switch to a lighter task to give yourself a mental break. This way, you sustain productivity and stay engaged and motivated.

Establishing a Timeline

Creating a timeline is essential for turning your goals into reality. To do this, you’ll set a deadline for each of your goals, which helps maintain momentum and accountability. A well-defined timeline offers a clear picture of what needs to be accomplished and by when, making it easier to stay on track.

Here’s how you can establish a timeline for your life plan:

  1. Break Down Goals: Divide your larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. This makes it less overwhelming and offers frequent opportunities for progress checks.
  2. Set Deadlines: Assign a specific deadline to each task. Ensure these deadlines are realistic to avoid unnecessary stress. For instance, if you want to improve your communication skills, you might set a three-month deadline to complete a workshop.
  3. Utilize Tools: Use calendars, planners, or digital tools to visualize your timeline. This might include setting reminders or milestones to regularly assess your progress.
  4. Review and Adjust: Periodically review your timeline to ensure it’s still relevant. Life is unpredictable, so be flexible and willing to adjust your deadlines if necessary.

Establishing a timeline gives you a structured plan to follow, enabling you to move forward with confidence and clarity. Stay proactive and keep your end goal in sight, and you’ll be well on your way to success!

Life Plan Tip: Building a Support System

Having a robust support system is crucial when creating a life plan you can follow. This network of people can provide you with encouragement, advice, and accountability, which are essential for staying on track and achieving your goals. Whether you’re working solo or as part of a team, the right support system can make all the difference in your success.

Who should be in your support system? Start with those who are closest to you. Family members, friends, mentors, and colleagues can offer invaluable perspectives and motivation. Additionally, consider joining groups or communities related to your goals—whether they’re professional organizations, local clubs, or online forums. These groups can introduce you to like-minded individuals who share similar dreams and challenges.

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One practical strategy is to improve your communication skills to foster stronger support relationships. Pay attention to your tone of voice, make eye contact when speaking, and actively listen to others. Techniques such as paraphrasing and displaying empathy can significantly enhance the quality of your interactions, making your support system more effective.

Finally, don’t forget the importance of regular check-ins. Monitor your progress and share updates with your support system. This keeps everyone informed and engaged, and offers a consistent measure of accountability. It’s also a great way to celebrate small wins, receive constructive feedback, and adjust your plan as needed.

Remember, building a support system is not a one-time task. It requires ongoing effort and nurturing. But the rewards—a network of people who are invested in your success—are absolutely worth it.

life plan

How do Successful People Maintain Their Life Plan?

It can be frustrating to try and try to get close to your life plan, all the while watching other people achieve and maintain theirs. What are their secrets?

The good news is they follow the steps outlined above. They set actionable, achievable goals, which they break down into smaller manageable tasks. Then, they track their progress and make the necessary adjustments.

The next strategy is one in which some folks stumble – self-discipline. Successful people prioritize their tasks and stick with their schedules, regardless of distractions or setbacks. By exercising self-discipline, successful people stay focused on their goals and consistently work toward their goals.

By regularly reviewing and adjusting their plan, they can assess their progress and determine what is and isn’t working. A great goal-setting strategy involves these regular assessments and adjustments to stay on track.

One strategy that is key in achieving a life plan is accountability. Successful people share their goals with people they trust, like friends, mentors, or coaches who provide support, encouragement and constructive feedback. By having accountability in place, they stay motivated and motivated.

One step that often is cast aside is self-care and establishing a balance in your life. While marching toward your goals without stopping seems like the best course, a successful person knows the importance of self-care. Maintaining good physical and mental health enables you to manage stress effectively, stay sharp, and follow through on the life plan they have in place.

And the last thing successful people do is cultivate a growth mindset. Rather than viewing challenges and obstacles as setbacks, they see them as opportunities to learn and grow. By adopting this positive attitude, they’re more resilient and persistent in the face of those obstacles and able to continue striding toward their life plan.

Common Obstacles to Sticking to Your Life Plan

One common obstacle to your life plan is not setting clear and achievable goals. They’re too vague, overly ambitious, and have no way to measure progress.

If the goal is too ambitious or if it isn’t something you really want, you aren’t motivated, which is a huge obstacle. By setting SMARTER goals, you can overcome this.

Another obstacle is not having a structured routine. For me, not planning my week makes me feel unfocused. I fall behind on my goals and everything just feels loose and unsettled.

Create balance between work and relaxation and schedule time for self-care.

If you’re facing a task you don’t like or that feels too difficult, you’ll procrastinate. It’ll derail your life plan before you get started. Instead, develop strategies to battle procrastination, like breaking the task into smaller tasks and setting deadlines.

Sometimes, life gets in the way. Health issues, family emergencies and job loss make you feel dejected. Build flexibility into your plans and know you may need to alter your plans to accommodate for challenges.

If you battle stress and anxiety, you may struggle to stick to your life plan. By prioritizing self-care and seeking professional, you can manage these obstacles.

Sometimes, a financial restriction gets in your way. Furthering your education, starting a new business or joining a gym can be difficult if your finances are tight.

Evaluate your budget and trim or eliminate expenses to fit these things in. Explore funding options for your goals. In some cases, an employer will pay for you to advance your education if it benefits them too.

And finally, as mentioned previously, a lack of self-discipline can derail your life plan. Build your self-discipline by starting small. Take small, consistent actions and reward yourself for hitting those small milestones.

How to Track Your Life Plan Progress

One great way to track your progress is by using a journal or diary. Use this to reflect on your achievements or areas in which you need to adjust. This more personal and introspective approach helps you focus without judgment.

You can also use digital tools. There are too many to name, each with specific tools that will help you with your specific goals. Set up notifications and be sure to use date due features to remind you of where you should be focusing your attention.

Another tool some prefer to use is a spreadsheet. These enable you to create timelines, milestones and easily track metrics. You can update progress and have a visual representation of how well you’re doing.

A more creative tool is mind mapping, which will help you visualize your goal and map out the tasks. If you’re a creative person or someone who’s visual, this is a great way to work through things.

Regardless of which tool you use, regular assessments and reflection will help you stay on track. The key is setting aside time to make those assessments and evaluate where you are, what obstacles you are facing or may face in the future and how to hurdle over them successfully.

The more you do this, the easier it will be and the better you’ll become at doing it. If you find yourself behind, don’t be discouraged. Simply adjust your timeline to one that meets you where you are.

And Speaking of Adjusting…

You’ve read a few times now about adjusting, but what does it mean?

Regardless of what tools you choose, a regular assessment will help you stay on track. If you’re journaling, it’s helpful to go back through your journal after a month and look for key phrases or moods.

For example, if you find yourself writing about being frustrated whenever you’re performing a certain task, consider how you can make that task less frustrating. Do you need to learn something new? Do you need to slow down? Do you need help from someone?

Making the appropriate adjustments will eliminate frustration and help you get back on track.

Another adjustment you can make is breaking the task down into smaller tasks. Get a degree is a very vague and daunting goal but Take a 100-level math class is something you can focus on. It’s targeted and easy to assess. If that still feels daunting, break it down into smaller tasks like Sign up for a 100-level math class – Buy the required books – Attend class regularly, and so on.

Some life goals will make such a huge change in your life that they feel overwhelming. Break them down so they feel less so.

Also, be flexible. Things don’t always work out like you plan but when you’re flexible, you allow for adjustments in the timeline or tasks to be done.

And finally, be nice to yourself. Beating yourself up because you got a C on a test won’t help you do better on the next one. Review the questions you got wrong and learn how to get the right answers. Visit office hours and ask the professor for help. Seek tutoring for classes that are extra hard.

Wrapping Up Your Life Plan

As you reach the end of creating your life plan, it’s essential to take a moment to reflect on the journey so far. You’ve identified your vision, set SMARTER goals, and crafted actionable steps. You’ve learned to prioritize, establish timelines, and build a support system. Now, let’s address how to bring all these elements to a cohesive conclusion.

Celebrate Your Initial Wins: Don’t underestimate the power of small victories. Recognizing and celebrating these milestones keeps you motivated and reinforces positive behavior.

Review and Reflect: Regularly review your life plan to evaluate your progress. Ask yourself what strategies worked, what didn’t, and why. This reflective practice ensures you’re consistently learning and adapting.

Make Necessary Adjustments: Life is unpredictable, and rigidity can hinder your progress. Be flexible and willing to modify your life plan as circumstances change. Reevaluate your goals and timelines periodically to make sure they still align with your vision.

Stay Accountable: Share your goals with a trusted friend, mentor, or coach. Establishing accountability helps you stay committed and can provide you with valuable feedback and encouragement.

Track Your Progress: Utilize a work management tool to keep your goals and progress in one place. Consistent monitoring not only keeps you on track but also highlights areas needing attention or adjustment.

Maintain Balance: Achieving your goals is important, but so is maintaining a balanced life. Regularly check in on different areas of your life to ensure you’re not neglecting any aspect in pursuit of another.

Wrapping up your life plan doesn’t mean the work is over. It’s a dynamic, evolving process requiring continuous dedication. But with a solid foundation, clear goals, and the right mindset, you’re well on your way to creating the fulfilling life you envision.

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

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