Forget What You’ve Been Told, Here’s Why Men Get Spooked
Guys pull away for many reasons and if you can understand them, you can eliminate many of them.
Before we begin, understand that I’m not always proud of my gender but it helps you understand the male mind if I explain these things.
Why Men Pull Away after Getting Close – Their Mouths Get Ahead of Their True Feelings
You’ve been here before I’m sure. He says he’s never met a woman like you and he wants to take you to Italy. Then, he says he can’t wait for you to meet his family and friends. His mom will love you! Blah, blah, blah.
You believe him and you expect him to follow through, as you should.
I’ve been guilty of this a few times. I was excited about dating a woman, but my mouth was saying crap that I didn’t mean, at least not yet. Then I had to backtrack, which meant running for the hills and never returning, at least in one instance.
Eventually, reality sets in and he realizes he shouldn’t have mentioned the Italy trip so soon. The process of following through made him anxious. He wonders what will happen if they hate one another before the trip ends?
Then, he goes down the check list of questions.
Will She Take Away My Friends and Fun?
A mans friendships are important. The thought of spending more time with you and less time with them, at first anyway, makes him uneasy. This will eventually be a good thing but he doesn’t know the answer yet so he pulls back. He clings to what feels normal and safe.
To alleviate his anxiety about this, don’t attempt to come between him and his friends. Don’t get upset over the occasional guys’ night or football watch party. Do something with your friends or work on a hobby. Allow him this time and you won’t worry about why guys pull away after getting close!
Will She Take My Money?
When women don’t understand men, they don’t understand how important money is to them. Men are providers and to provide, they need to be successful. Men measure success through work, status and how much money they can earn. They view success as being able to provide for their family.
They keep their guard up for gold – diggers. Yes, they’re out there.
To help him with this one, offer to pay for your half of the meal or buy him a cup of coffee from time to time. Don’t just expect him to pay for everything. Offer to carry your share of the load. Make sure your financial house is in order.
Am I Okay if I’m Never Able to Sleep with Another Woman?
I know, this sounds sad, but many single men weigh this in their decision, freak out and pull back. Being single represents freedom to unattached men. They date whoever they want to and live a fun, albeit shallow, life.
There are two things you can do here. One is to keep things exciting in your sex life. Explore your fantasies and his. Don’t make your sex life monotonous. Try some toys or be a little risky about where you have sex.
The other thing is to do what he’s doing before you’re committed to one another. Date other men. He is dating other women but he assumes you’re only dating him. Once he realizes that dating you is a competition and he needs to step up his game, he’ll either bail or get serious. If he bails, good riddance! You’re better off without him because he was never serious about you anyway.
Falling in Love Means He will Feel Vulnerable
Exposing vulnerabilities increases the risk of being rejected and rejection is one of his greatest fears, especially when it comes to you. This is one of the major reasons why men pull away after getting close.
To help him through this one, be patient and kind when he shares something that makes him feel vulnerable. Don’t laugh or judge him. Allow him to finish and express the proper type of response.
You can also share your own vulnerabilities with him. This will help him feel more comfortable sharing his. This is how you build intimacy and grow closer.
Why Men Pull Away after Getting Close – What to Do When This Happens
The funny thing is that he wants you to take him away from his friends, at least some of them. He wants to spend money on you and he wants to just sleep with one woman.
Slow things down. Don’t push for that Italy trip. Maintain your social life and don’t start doting on him too much. Later, after he has proven himself, you can change your habits, but it’s too early in the relationship right now.
Encourage him to be with his friends. Offer to pay for things so he quickly realizes that you are not interested in his money. Do this and when the love making starts he will only want to be with you and no one else. He will fall for you!
Then, fulfill both of your fantasies during sex and all will be good!
Watch as I hammer this point home with world renowned Dr. Helen Fisher.
Has Your Guy Left You? These Five Steps will Help You Get Him Back
Do you want to get your ex back?
Check out this proven Five Step Process to Get Him Back! Work your way through these five steps and:
- Feel less emotional
- Figure out what happened to end the relationship
- Rebuild your confidence
- Toy with his psyche
- Plan your meeting with him
As you’re reading, many men come back months later. Taking these five steps helps guarantee that your new relationship will be a success!
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