How to Stop Being so Emotional in a Relationship
Houston, we have an emotional problem!
Imagine if the Apollo 13 astronauts broke down and began yelling and screaming at each other while their chances of returning to earth alive dwindled? They needed every second they had to work out their power issues with ground control.
They did it! They worked through their issues, found a solution, and lived to tell the world about.
Let’s look how emotions can ruin our relationships on earth. How many times have you unloaded on your boyfriend and later regretted the outburst? I know I have felt bad after cutting off a driver and then following up with my middle finger! I felt like a loser. I felt even more of a loser when I find out the driver was 75 and I almost gave her a heart attack.
Learning to deal with life’s curve balls logically, without all the emotions is a much better plan. I like to count to 10 and take 2 huge breathes before I do or say anything. It works! I have also learned (if I have the time) if I can write the problem down and examine the source of my toxic emotions, I am better armed to deal with it in a logical manner. The time spent thinking, diffuses my emotions and helps me think clear.
I now know that the person who is on the receiving end of my rant might never look at me the same again. He or she might never compromise on the issue because I was so “over the top.” This means handling situations with emotion instead of logically and realistically becomes a lose/lose situation. People want win/win solutions to their problems and arguments.
Of course, bottling up your emotions can be problematic too, especially if you are a guy. Guys tend to keep things to themselves. Women naturally lead with their emotions so what are they to do? Bottle them up also?
Try channeling your emotions elsewhere.
Go for a 3 mile run. Kick box the crap out of a punching bag. Call your mom or call your girlfriend and let your emotions fly! They will listen and understand. Guy’s won’t. Guy’s will want to fix your problem or, if the outburst is directed towards them, they will retreat. But if you blow off some steam to your friends first, you might find you are ready to face your issue logically and realistically.
Heavy destructive emotions directed at a lover slowly break down the relationship like melting snow in spring – don’t let this happen. Instead, listen to other person and be open to discussion while checking your attitude at the door.
Gregg began his journey into understanding the mistakes we make in dating and how to fix them by interviewing thousands of people – happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He reviewed his own dating experiences and combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.