When it comes to calling it quits, are you naughty or nice? Breaking up is hard to do, especially if he’s a nice guy. You’ve probably been dumped a few times yourself, so you know it can really sting if not done carefully. You don’t want to crush his heart, but at the same time, you no longer want to be together as a couple. Is it possible to let him down gently and part on good terms? Actually, it is! Anna is here today with a few tips on how to dump a guy nicely.
The longer you wait, the harder it gets
The goal is to make the break up as painless as possible — for the both of you. Do yourself a favor, don’t drag things out and play the part of the happy girlfriend when your heart isn’t in it. I’m not saying rip the Band-Aid off, but rather, ease it off gently, as soon as possible, before it gets stuck and more difficult to remove. If you’re not into him, tell him you need to talk, and be crystal clear with your message. Be kind, but let him know, under no uncertain terms, it’s over. You may think you’re being nice, but don’t give him false hope by comforting him with one last hug or a goodbye kiss if you want his wounds to heal.
Make sure he hears it from you
I know it’s helpful to confide in your girlfriends when working up the courage to end a relationship, but be selective. The last thing you want to do is humiliate him. Out of respect, he should hear it from you before he hears it from someone else. Be brave and speak to him face to face. Do not break up with him by sending a text message or email! It may seem like the easy way out, but it’s certainly not cool. Would you want someone to treat you that way?
Before the advent of social media, it was much easier to make a clean break. Now, the situation is a little more awkward and uncomfortable thanks to social sites like Facebook. What happens when you are “friends” with your soon-to-be-old-flame? Do you just change your status to “Single” and hope for the best, then worry about his feelings when you post photos of his replacement? Or, do you unfriend him altogether and block him from your page? “It’s Complicated” is an understatement!
Fortunately, Facebook has recently come up with a new feature to help simplify an already sticky situation. “Take a Break” activates when mobile users change their relationship status, allowing you to fine-tune what your ex can and cannot see on your page. It also lets you choose to see less of what he is posting, without blocking or unfriending him. You can even edit old posts and remove tags from photos, giving you more options when a relationship ends, to keep things civil.
Time to Have the Talk
- Keep your break-up speech short and sweet — 30 minutes max
- On the other hand, don’t just say, “we’re done” and walk away, he deserves some sort of explanation
- Be honest, just not brutally honest; lying to get out of a relationship will surely backfire, but you also don’t want to be cruel
- It’s not you it’s me…. What does that even mean? Don’t blame yourself and don’t place the blame on him. Instead, tell him why you don’t feel like you are a good match
- Hear him out – he may have questions, especially if you are blind-siding him
- If he wants to just get up and go, let him. Don’t force him to talk to you if he doesn’t want to
- If you are both happy with moving forward as just friends, that’s awesome, just be sure to leave the old relationship in the past, where it belongs
- If your nice guy turns mean, don’t engage with him in any way – remain calm, let him say his peace and leave – time to move on
Sometimes boyfriends cheat on you, forget Valentine’s Day, or bail on your dinner date to watch a football game. In those cases, don’t worry too much about how to dump a guy nicely — a text message break up is perfectly understandable and acceptable.
Do you have a question for Gregg? Visit Gregg’s One Question and ask your question for just $25! That’s right, you can get an answer to the pesky situation you have without full-price coaching! It’s quick, it’s private, and can help get your relationship back on its feet in no time. Gregg will personally answer your question within 24 hours (sometimes sooner) and will provide one follow up question for clarification.Share