Email after email I receive asks, “Gregg, why is it so hard to find a good man? Where are they?”
If you can even get a date with a guy you meet online, and if he happens to shows up, chances are he will underwhelm you. It’s becoming a problem.
Let’s explore why this might be the case.
13 Answers to Why it is so Hard to Find a Good Man
Getting Laid is Easier Than Ever
Long gone are the days of talking on the phone and setting up a date. Hookup sites have taken away the old ways and provided men and women instant gratification with a simple swipe to the left or right.
Guys can skip the dinner and go straight to dessert. Women who want the dinner find guys are too lazy and why would they? They don’t need to.
Modern dating has turned into casual dating. That sucks for recently divorced older women who desire the old fashion ways of dating.
Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? They’re Choosing Not to Grow Up
The man-child is becoming a more common phenenomon as more and more men refuse to take on any responsibilities or mature emotionally. These guys can fool you into believing they’re great men too because they sometimes have successful careers.
This type of guy has what he considers to be valid justifications for his bad behavior and lack of responsible behavior.
Guys are Intimidated by Successful Women
Our society has been dumbed down. Heck, kids get trophies simply for participating. Competition and success don’t get rewarded like the old days. If you grew up thinking average is the new goal, it becomes intimidating to attempt to date an above average woman. Instead, he shies away.
Women ask me if they should forego telling men how successful they are. Really? Is beginning a relationship with a lie really the answer, and yet, this is one answer to that question, why is it so hard to find a good man.
Frustration Sets in
After twenty dates and meeting twenty losers, you can become frustrated. This makes the entire dating process a chore, and once it becomes a chore, everything starts to go downhill. You might even consider throwing in the towel. Many women do.
You Don’t Understand Men
Women don’t understand men. This is especially the case when all your dating tips come from your family and friends. If you don’t know how men think and what they like, how the heck are you going to attract a good man?
You aren’t. Do yourself a favor and consult the pros on this one and you will be much better off.
You Don’t Know Yourself
If you have been married for twenty years, your identity might be all wrapped up with your kids and ex-husband. If you don’t take the time to rediscover yourself, you’ll make poor choices when it comes to men.
Build yourself so he will come is a much better choice.
Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man | You’re Either Too Easy or Too Hard to Get
Men like a challenge and some women don’t deliver one because they have no boundaries. Other women play too hard to get with profiles that state their demands.
Again, this comes down to knowing how men think and how to read them. Different types of men require different responses. A shy guy will need more of a push from you, and a confident man might desire more of a chase.
Read his profile, read the man, and react accordingly with your emails and texts.
You Don’t Know How to Lead
Many women expect the guy to take the lead. But some men lack the confidence to do so. Guys can feel awkward at the whole online dating thing, so they need a woman to take charge, in the beginning. Do this, at least at the start, and then back off a bit.
Your Expectations are Too High
One reason why it’s hard to find a good man is because men can be awkward at the beginning. What you first see might not be the real him because he’s a nervous wreck. He might stumble with his words or come across the wrong way. Give him a fighting chance by asking him questions.
Once he becomes comfortable, his traits will shine. If they don’t, move on.
Your Expectations are Too Low
If you had a sexless marriage for the last five years, you might take the first breathing man who favorites your profile. Beware of doing this. Take some time to settle into your singles life before you start dating so you won’t get hurt.
Are There Too Few Good Guys Out There?
I challenge this statement. There are tons of good guys out there. The issue is that there are ten times as many losers than there are good guys, so it appears there are no good men out there. You must weed them out. That can suck if you have no experience in the dating jungle.
If you are constantly dating the losers, your desire to keep dating wains. Consult the pros. Read everything you can from a dating coach you like who knows his or her trade.
You Think You Know What You Like
I see this a lot. He’s got to be six feet tall and wealthy. Okay, does this mean that a 5’ 10-inch guy is out? What if he has a great job that he loves but he makes an average income?
Too many women have these characteristic biases based on nothing. Try dating a guy who rides a motorcycle even if you hate how loud they are. Date a guy who’s average height and see if he’s a fit before excluding every average height man out there.
Yes, I understand there are non-starters, but relax the minor ones at least at first. You’ll be surprised.
You Aren’t Really Trying
Tell me, are you really trying? Or are you going about dating in a half-ass way? If your efforts are checking your profile once a week and rarely going out to get exposure, you aren’t trying very hard to find a man.
Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? Summary
Finding a good guy takes effort. It’s a job, but it should be a fun job. If it’s the last thing you’re motivated to do, you won’t find your knight.
Get exposure online and offline. Pursue hobbies and passions where you will meet new men. This makes the dating process easy because you start off by having something in common.
Most players don’t partake in bettering themselves. They swim at bars and on sites like Tinder. Put in the time, make new friends, network, keep growing as a person, have fun, and you will find a great guy!
Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman. Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are not jerks.