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How to be a Good Girlfriend

I received an email from Mary the other day, and her question was how to be a good girlfriend. She and her boyfriend Ben have been together for three years and things are great but her question is a great one so let’s dig in and find the answer!

While it might not seem important to ask about being a good girlfriend or boyfriend when things are going well, the truth is that it’s the perfect time! Don’t allow your relationship to slide into autopilot. That’s when things can quickly decline!

How to be a Good Girlfriend | Like What He Likes

When you share a hobby your boyfriend has, a strange thing happens. He begins to equate his love of his hobby with his love for you. The love deepens.

You don’t need to show an interest in every hobby, just one or two. You don’t even need to be good at it, just learn about it and show you’re intrigued.

I’m really excited about my new RV. It’s my mobile office and is wrapped with one of my best-selling books. I call it the “G-Rex.”

I tinker with the electronics and keep upgrading the lithium power. I installed new tables that I probably don’t need. What does my girlfriend do? She comes out, sits inside, and asks questions.

That excites me! I look forward to her visits and enjoy teaching her how the systems work, and I listen to her input on how we can make it better for when we travel.

This forms a bond between us and we grow together.

Now, are there activities that we do not share together? Of course, and that’s okay too.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend

Learn to Compromise

Man, I wish couples would do more of this. Instead, I see both sides holding their ground like it’s a competition. To be a good girlfriend, learn to compromise from time to time to avoid building contempt and bitterness.

Your guy loves watching football on Sunday. You hate it.  Ask yourself why you hate it, and you’ll find your answer. I realized my girlfriend hated it because she didn’t understand it, so I broke out the laser pointer and explained it to her.

Guess what? Now, she loves it!

Maybe your reasons are different. You have separation anxiety and football Sunday means your guy is over his friend’s house. A reasonable compromise might be to encourage him to have his friends come to your house. Take interest. Learn the sport. Entice him with food!

If it’s still a no-go, he needs to learn compromise.

Pay Attention to How You Act in Public

One great way to be a good girlfriend is to avoid airing your dirty laundry in public.

I know a woman who finds pleasure airing her distain for her husband to her friends while they’re together in public. Really? How do you think he feels when this happens?

This is the fast lane to a breakup. We all have our gripes, but they should be discussed and resolved in private.  Humiliating your guy in front of others or on social media is hurtful and will only lead to contempt.

Learn His Love Language

Gary Chapman gave us all a wonderful gift. Use it! If touch is his love language, then touch him more often. Give him massages out of the blue or grab his hand when you are walking.

This is an easy way to be a great girlfriend he’ll want to stay with!

I see couples who are constantly swimming upstream trying to get along when the answers are right in front of them. Ask yourself the most basic question – what does he like? What does he need? What is his love language?

Instead, women (and men) are fixated on what they need and not their partner. Stop this. Relationships only work when each person understands what the other person needs to feel happy and satisfied and takes steps to fulfill these needs.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend | Stand by Him

This one can get tricky when it comes to family. Uncle Joe might take issue with your boyfriend’s politics. How you react goes a long way towards being a good girlfriend.

I’ll argue that you probably spend a lot more time with your boyfriend than Uncle Joe so it would behoove you to support him while in Uncle Joe’s presence, even if you disagree with said politics.

Supporting him doesn’t mean that you need to always agree with him. Maintaining your own set of values is key to a healthy relationship. It’s when outsiders, even family, attempt to throw a wrench between you that you need to stand up for him.

That makes you a good girlfriend!

Give Him His Space

Let him go golfing. Let him go out with his friends. Too many women lock down their guy.

Why? They don’t trust! They need to be with their guy every free minute!

If you don’t have trust, you’re doomed anyway, so why bother. Let him have some fun away from you. He’ll appreciate you. He’ll be excited to get back to you AND he will have fun stories to tell you.

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And this applies to you when you go have fun with your friends. Anticipation of seeing each other is a great feeling and adds layers and layers of positivity to your relationship!

How to be a Good Girlfriend Summary

There are so many ways to be a good girlfriend. Sit down and make your own list and have your guy make his how to be a good boyfriend list too. Make a date of it. Then, check things off each other’s list as he or she fulfills them.

You can even add to each other’s list – who better knows how they would like to be treated!

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