Is there anything worse than getting over a guy that you have been with for years? How do you help your broken heart?

The end is so sudden and it’s usually not very pretty. Science states that getting over a guy can be worse than breaking a cocaine addiction.

What can you do to help your broken heart?


You must let it all out. Instead of holding it all in or being afraid of losing control, let it all go. Yell and scream. Cry big ugly tears. Whatever it takes to get rid of the initial feelings of pain and grief, go for it.

Set a time limit for your grief. Give yourself x-number of days to be miserable and eat all the ice cream you desire. At the end of that day – go to the next step.

how to help a broken heart

Make a List

At the top of a piece of paper, put your ex’s name. Then, form two columns. At the top of the first one write “What I hate about John.” At the top of the next column, write, “More things I hate about John.”  

Then fill up the page! Grab more paper if you need it. Hopefully, you’ll start to laugh a little. Then, rip it to shreds and throw John in the trash.

How to Help a Broken Heart by Getting Busy

I’m serious. It’s called displacement. John is the water sitting in the glass. Fill the glass full of ice, which for this analogy means activities. Whenever you start thinking about your ex, find an activity to occupy your mind in a more productive way.

Call your friends. Tell them you need their help. Book a trip. Get to the gym. Get a massage. Go sing some karaoke. The busier you stay the better you will feel. Time will soon take care of the rest.

Love Thyself

I’m talking self-care here. Twenty twenty-two is the year for self-care and I have just what you need. Get my international best seller, The Little Self-Care Handbook. It will walk you through six different types of self-care and provide you with tons of ideas on how to implement each.

When you practice self-care, you’re saying you value yourself and you’re also helping to eliminate some of the negativity from your life. This is time you deserve to spend on yourself.

Break All Contact

When I say break all contact, I mean all. I’m assuming you don’t want him back so there is absolutely zero need to leave any communication avenues open. Block his number. Dump him on social media. And run over his cat.

Just kidding…I love cats. I’m just trying to make you smile.

Of course, the caveat to this is if you have children together. Then you need to limit your conversations to matters that involve the children and stay away from the topic of your relationship.

how to help a broken heart

Build Your Confidence

Breakups do a number on your confidence. One or both of you may be placing the blame of the breakup on you, but a breakup is never about just one person!

Take some time to listen to your own self-talk and make improvements. Note where you’re talking down to yourself and then ask, what would I say to my best friend? That’s what you should say to yourself too. We’re always a lot harder on ourselves than we are on others.

Get out there and take some risks. Do something that scares the heck out of you. Try something new! These types of activities also help to build your confidence.

Get Back in the Game ASAP

This one is hard I know. But to help a broken heart, you need displace him too. Once your confidence is on the rise, work on getting your profile up online. Look at potential guys and read their profiles. Maybe go to a wine tasting or a charity event with a friend.

Then, ease into dating a bit. At first you will compare every guy to John and that’s okay. Just remind yourself of all the things you wrote on your list – the things that annoy you about your ex.

How to Help a Broken Heart with a Journal

Writing helps you process your grief and work through your pain. Write everyday about what happened and why. Write how you are feeling and what you can do better in the future. Let the words flow naturally and see where they take you. Surprising revelations can come from allowing your thoughts and feelings to come out in a journal.

Don’t be critical of yourself and don’t blame yourself. You’ll find your feelings will gyrate up and down. You’ll go through the nine stages of grieving.

Soon, you will feel better, but keep journaling and start setting goals for the future. What will your next man look like? How will he act? Where will you meet him. This sets the stage for your bright future!

Laugh and Dance

This is my personal cure! I have made a pact with myself to get crazy when I’m down and out. I crank my favorite tunes and dance around my living room. Then I laugh. I don’t want to hear music and I don’t want to dance but I make myself. It’s a game changer. It works every time.

Work Out as Hard as You Can

Another favorite of mine is to get in a good workout. Get angry during your workout. Go to CrossFit. Run on the beach. Bet the crap out of a punching bag with John’s face pinned to it. This produces something called a runner’s high as it sends chemicals coursing through your body. These chemicals, or endorphins, make you feel good.

how to heal a broken heart

What Not to Do to Help a Broken Heart

Do not self-medicate with alcohol. This will make you feel worse in the morning and will most certainly set you back. Promise yourself to proceed through this with a clear head.

Do not start sleeping with multiple guys. This is not the answer. This is your mind trying to play a trick on you by attempting to jump-start love hormones again. Don’t fall for it! I had a reader share that she did this for revenge and then she got herpes. She went from feeling terrible to wanting to jump off a cliff. Enough said.

Do not go through this alone. Men often stay home alone and wallow. Do not do this. Rally your friends and your family. You would do this for your friends, and they will be there for you too. Get a cat or puppy. Run. Move.

How to Help a Broken Heart | Getting Over a Guy Conclusion

Getting over a guy sucks! Take solace in the fact that every person on this huge spinning planet has gone through, or will go through, the same awful feelings you’re experiencing now! I know that doesn’t automatically make you feel better but remember that they’ve all survived this and you can too.

At first, it feels as if your entire world has come crashing down around you, but as you begin picking up the pieces, you will find the clarity you need to process the breakup more efficiently and begin to move forward with your life.

If you're ready to move on from this relationship, you're ready for He's Gone, Now What? This book walks you through the many aspects of dealing with a breakup, even if you're the one who initiated the breakup. Regardless of who started it, as they say, your body becomes addicted to the chemicals associated with being in love. The withdrawal process is as daunting as the withdrawal from cocaine.

You'll also learn about the stages of grieving a relationship and how to begin moving forward. You'll walk through the steps of preparing yourself for dating again and gain an understanding of how you can do so in a healthy, happy relationship.

You can learn more about the book here or you can purchase it by clicking one of the buttons below.

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