The idea of a perfect date varies between couples. If you’re planning a first date, you might think of something different than a couple who’s married with kids, looking to escape the madness for a few hours.
The Idea of the Perfect Date
I asked my readers for their suggestions and got some great ideas to share with you today. Many agreed that an adventure date or a date where they could talk and get to know one another was the idea of a perfect date. Some of those suggestions were:
- Riding bikes along the trails
- Having a picnic under a nice big tree and making love, whether the coast is clear or not
- Enjoying an outdoor dinner at a local hangout
- Getting my guy to join me in one of my hobbies like horseback riding
- A car ride in my boyfriend’s ’67 Mustang, preferably with the top down, if it isn’t too hot
- Dinner and a movie where I pick dinner and he chooses the movie or vice versa
- A scary movie so I can grab him and pull him in, then steal his popcorn
- Sunset at the beach is the most romantic time
- Jumping in the RV and heading to a state park for the weekend so we can enjoy skinny dipping at night, making love under the stars, and grilling over an open fire
- Meeting at the dog park to see how he treats his dog and mine, and to see if my dog approves of him
- Kayaking and if he can keep up with me, he gets a second date, if he can’t too bad for him
- An amusement park or a haunted house
- Dinner and a concert
- Go carts
First Date Challenges
Obviously, a few of those weren’t first-date ideas, but many of them would be. While the traditional first date is to go somewhere for dinner, this is the most awkward date you can find. If one of you is shy or very nervous, it can be a struggle to find conversational topics.
If you’re out doing something, the pressure to enjoy a conversation is gone. You’re too busy enjoying yourselves to worry about what to say next.
Additionally, when you enjoy an adventurous first date, you see more of one another’s true colors. You can see how he manages challenges and adversity, as well as how supportive he is of you if you’re trying something challenging or new.
These types of dates also take the pressure off when it comes to choosing your wardrobe for the date. If you’re going for a bike ride or a hike, you can dress appropriately in jeans or shorts and a t-shirt or sweatshirt.
Regardless of what date you choose, dress comfortably and conservatively. Dressing to show off too much skin for a first date sends the wrong signal. It says you believe your greatest asset is your body, not your mind and intellect. Great men are interested in all of them, of course, but they’ll respect you more if you leave some things to their imagination!
Not all your dates need to be like this. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional dinner and a movie date, and it’s even mentioned above, but it isn’t a great first date. In fact, if you’re married, this might be the perfect date because you can sit and talk, which may be challenging if you have small children at home.
Still, enjoying adventures or dates where you’re doing versus sitting are more enjoyable and telling. My assistant, Kirbie, has a daughter who’s getting married in a couple of months. They recently enjoyed time with family and friends at her bridal shower. One of the activities they had was for everyone to write date night ideas on a large popsicle stick that they then put in a jar.
The next day, the couple told Kirbie that they loved this and her soon-to-be son-in-law was even writing his own ideas on sticks and adding them to the jar. They said they sometimes just look at one another and shrug their shoulders when they want to do something together and having the jar will help them enjoy some different activities.
Of course, the groom pulled out his first stick and it said candle making. He decided that if he could make a candle that smelled manly, he was on board!
The Idea of a Perfect Date for Date Night
I am a huge proponent of date nights for couples because it helps keep the relationship from becoming routine, stale or dead. I always encourage couples to schedule a weekly date night so they can reconnect and enjoy time together.
These nights should be as technology-free as possible and shouldn’t be about arguing or complaining. It’s a time to reconnect and recharge the couple batteries. Talk about things that happened throughout the week, like the big report you gave at work and how he might be up for a promotion. Talk about planning a vacation together or your plans for the future.
When you plan your week, put date night on first and make it a priority. It’s the one thing on your calendar you can’t cancel or reschedule. If your partner and your relationship are important to you, so is this time together.
What Most Men Prefer
Most men prefer fun dates. This is how they spend time with their friends and it’s how they want to spend time with you. While most men are okay with sitting down for dinner, if you asked, most would prefer an adventure.
If you’re an exclusive couple, make yourselves a date night jar and ask friends for ideas. Add your own ideas as well and then pull out a stick when it comes time for your date. The rule is that if you pull out the stick, you have to do the activity unless the weather is prohibitive of course.
Below are some final tips for the idea of a perfect date for you to consider:
- Go to a drive-in movie or set one up at home
- Camp out in your living room with blankets and pillows, maybe even a tent, s’mores in the fireplace, or popcorn and a movie
- Visit the local zoo, arboretum, museum, or another similar venue
- Go dancing or take dancing lessons together
- Visit a nearby small town and peruse the shops, finish with dinner at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant
- Merge one of your hobbies with one of his – a car show where you take tons of photos for example
- Take a cooking class together
- Putt-putt golfing is always fun and men love competition
- Visit a local festival and enjoy ethnic or international food
Regardless of what you choose, if you’re both laid back and prepared to enjoy one another, you’ll have a great time!
Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you'll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They're added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.
Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!
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