The Do’s and Don’ts of Apologizing to Your Boyfriend
You know I’m not a big fan of apologies unless you purposely ran over your boyfriend’s dog – which I know you would never do. I prefer acknowledging the mistake, fixing it and moving forward.
But, there are times when you mess up big-time. Maybe you had too much to drink and you flirted with the waiter, or you called out your mother-in-law’s bitchy behavior.
I get it. So what are some tactics to apologize to your boyfriend?
It’s as much about what you
do say as what you
don’t. Check these out.
How can I make it up to you?
Acknowledge that you were wrong and do something good to make your boyfriend happy. Maybe it’s under the sheets, or it could be making his favorite chili.
While executing something nice, make it clear you were wrong, and that it won’t happen again.
Put yourself in his shoes
This can really help. Say, “If you were flirting with a hot waitress I would have reacted just like you did. I understand and now I see where I was wrong.”
This type of language diffuses the situation quickly.
How to apologize to your boyfriend: Don’t explain away your behavior
This gets dangerous. The very moment you start to justify your actions, you’re preparing to start an even bigger argument.
“Somebody had to tell her that her chili sucks”
“You were flirting with the bartender earlier, remember?”
These will never work. Apologizing to your boyfriend by putting it back on him will backfire. Swallow your pride, own your mistake and move on.
Leave it be
Once you apologize let it go. Do not keep apologizing! This just reminds him of the incident and puts him back into his bad mood towards you. Now, he will get jittery the next time you are out drinking in public.
I see this often – a woman will feel so bad that she keeps apologizing over and over.
Her apology becomes meaningless, and it’s a signal of low confidence. Show your strength by saying it once and letting it go.
Be your best
Get back to being the woman he loves. Laugh, have fun and do the things he likes to do. Get his mind off his anger. Displacement works very well in these apologetic times!
But, don’t go overboard or be fake about it. Overdoing it won’t help either. It just becomes an empty gesture.
Fix the issue
Many people apologize the right way but do the very same thing again and wonder why the relationship ends abruptly. If you drink again and overtly flirt with another waiter, I’m gone!
Instead, handle the apology and then have a talk with yourself. Do I have a drinking problem? Do I need help? Am I flirting because I am not happy with him? Am I a hot, jealous mess and therefore I feel I need to flirt? Is
my confidence in the dumpster?
He doesn’t need to know this part, but you do – and you need to fix it before it bites you in the ass again!
How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Conclusion
These are very simple but
powerful tactics! Don’t underestimate the damage you may have caused to the long-term health of your relationship.
Take time to own what happened, put in the energy to fix what might be broken inside and move forward to a healthy, happy relationship.
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