How Do I Know If I Like Him or the Idea of Him?

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why the f**k am I with this man?” There comes a time in every woman’s life when she must evaluate if the man she is with is the right man for her. What are the reasons I’m dating him? Does he complete me? Sometimes we like the idea of being in love over loving the right guy. The thought of children running around on the perfectly manicured lawn with the swing set in the backyard might overtake your choice. If this is your reality, ask yourself a few questions to gain perspective.

What exactly do I like about him?

If your first thought is “Wait, do I even like him?” Houston, we have a problem! You should be able to rattle off a few reasons without much thought. They should be good reasons too. Like ‘I love how he makes me feel when we’re together’, or, ‘The way he took care of me when I was sick was amazing!’ If you find you’re telling yourself that you’re with him because you don’t want to be single like your best friend, dig a little deeper.

Do I like him for who I think he can become?

This is one of the most common signs that you like the idea of him more than you actually like him! Often a woman will take in a stray kitten of a man, think she can clean up his matted fur, and make him into the man of her dreams. Instead, she gets a wet kitten who won’t pee in the litter box! Love a man for who he is and not for who you think he will become. Anything else will only lead to disappointment and misery. Too many women have gone down this losing path. If these questions lead you to thinking about finding a new guy then I have a GREAT offer for you!

Do our core values and goals gel?

You want kids but he thinks he might someday. You save money while he spends like a fool. You feel you are independent, but he is needy. These things are a big deal and cannot be overlooked. If you do, do so at your own peril. You must get the big things worked out before marriage or you are simply liking the idea of him and not him!

How much do I know about him?

Have you dug into his past or run a criminal check? Do you know what his family and friends think of him? Does he love animals? What’s he passionate about? If you don’t have these answers, you probably don’t know him well enough to be in love with him. You might just be infatuated with the idea of him. Or maybe you don’t care to know about these things. This too states that you might just like the idea of him and not him.

Am I ready for love?

A woman is ready for love after she is confident in her ability to be one half of a great relationship. This means she’s happy alone without the need of another person in her life. A man simply completes her and adds the “cherry on top” to her already complete life. If she is not ready for love, he will become her only hobby. This will constrict him and potentially ruin the relationship.

Do I Like Him or The Idea of Him?

Ask yourself these five questions as you evaluate what he truly represents to you. If your answers confuse the heck out of you – then reevaluate your motives behind dating this particular guy.

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