What Does a Man Want for Valentines Day?

Ah, the stress men face when Valentine’s Day nears. For me, and many men, it’s as tough or tougher than Christmas because it needs to be romantic. It needs to be right or we are screwed!

But what about men? What do we want? I mean it’s our day too right?

Well, I got on it and I surveyed my vast network of guys and here are the surprising results.

Make it about us too

Surprised? I wasn’t. Getting some nice cologne is okay, but if I must then shower you with gifts the rest of the night, well that doesn’t seem fair. We want it to be our day too. Somewhere along the way, Valentine’s Day became more about women than men. At least that’s how my guys felt. Don’t shoot the messenger!

Okay, okay. How about 75% you and 25% us? That will work.

Spend quality time

Yep, we want to be together alone too. You and me against the world! A cool restaurant maybe, with white linens and candles glowing. The real ones, not those fake plastic flickering things. It’s fun to look around at other couples enjoying themselves and think just how lucky we are today.

Many guys I talked to live in cold climates and they loved the idea of cooking at home together and snuggling up around the fireplace.

Others were fine doing whatever their significant others wanted to do as long as it was quiet and intimate. Yes, I’m talking about men!

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day | Recognition for their effort

This may sound odd, but the guys told me that they get worried about not spending enough or doing something that every other guy does like getting flowers or chocolates.

Gary said, “I worry about Beth looking disappointed at me because I didn’t make it special enough.”

It’s important for women to realize that most of us are not good at this romantic stuff. We try, but we still need your help to make us better. Tell us that we made you happy and recognize the effort. If you do, you’ll find that we can and will get better.

Go for it in the bedroom

Let’s face it, sex can get a bit boring after years together and three kids running around. Make tonight special for both of you and mix it up this year! Spend some extra time doing some fun stuff with your hands and your tongue. Set a new precedent in the bedroom by teasing him.

He should be in as a romantic state as he ever will be on this day so go for it!


This is my favorite. I’ll take a massage without having to reciprocate (I know, selfish) over a gift any day. And most men agreed with me. Follow up with a some oral givings and we will be in heaven!

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day

My big takeaway is this: Valentine’s Day should be fun for both of you, but through the years, it has become a chore for men. Yes, that is our fault but help us be better won’t you?

And on behalf of all the men that screw up on Valentine’s Day, let me say, “There is always next year to get it right!”

Check out my great infographic and get some ideas churning for the big day!

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